i'm saying it. i don't think joly would work in a hospital. i think his medical career would be informed by his politics + radicalisation and his + his friends regular drug use, he would be outraged at how the medical industry handles drug users, also at the medical industrial complex in general, so he would find a reputable community led harm reduction organisation to work for 🫶🏻

Jason : I can't fix him.

Jason : But I can sure as hell marry him and pull him away from the influence of his demanding father. Maybe then that would finally calm him, and I'm sure as fuck It will do wonders for his frayed self worth.

HALLEJUAH!! I REMEMBERED HOW TO ACTUALLY FINISH WRITING SOMETHING FOR A CHANGE!!

Of course, it's not any of the fics I wanted to finish. I went back to what is essentially my bread-and-butter now and wrote a short-ish, random OrangeHook fluff. But considering how much writing's been a struggle as of late, I'm just glad that I successfully finished something. I was back in one of those stretches where I couldn't seem to write much of anything. And this fic isn't about their age difference or Hook being a cuddlebug, so...progress?

Unless I decide I completely hate it (which is always a possibility) expect something to drop on Valentine's Day, tis the season, after all.

For after the Last Battle and the overthrow of Morgoth, when the Valar gave Elros and Elrond a choice to belong either to the kin of the Eldar or to the king of Men, it was Elros who voyaged over sea to Númenor following the star of Eärendil; whereas Elrond remained among the Elves and carried on the lineage of King Elwë.

Note 19 - And also that of Turgon; though he preferred that of Elwë, who was not under the ban that was laid on the Exiles.

- Problem of Ros, HoME XII

Every once in a while I remember this passage and am sent spiralling into the orbit.

Elrond saw the disaster that were the Noldor and went 'nope, I am staying out of that drama. Sindar, here I come' and he's so valid for it. Living up to the as wise as a wizard. He looks at the elven side of his family tree, goes 'do you think I am stupid' and chooses the least problematic branch.

Back to Splatoon 3, I got into a turf war and splatted... GOKU!!

From November 14th, 2022

I'm struggling to not break down at work today. My brain apparently didn't know it was Monday. I've helped with two really, really sad euthanasias and I feel like I'm gonna fall over from exhaustion. Is it Thursday 12am yet.

Gimme a bottle of Tennessee Fire, my weed and some smut fic because I'm DONE. 😭

I also had to tell people that they're comparing my art to that Marcille with the big lips is NOT a compliment, and I can read it? Because someone else said that's what they thought too. Just because something is on the internet doesn't mean you need to be a dick. Ffs.

Since I finally read at a higher rate with regularity, I'm really pissed that the thing getting between me and my books is my job but also I need that job to buy books, and you know food and pay bills but whatever

Song of the Day: March 17

"I Like It" by Cardi B, Bad Bunny, J Balvin

Y'all. It feels like life took a good turn. Teaching is so good and so fulfilling. I'm finally getting excited about directing a show later this year that I didn't really have excitement for. This random new man situation is surprising me. I'm being really careful. I don't know how much I am willing or interested in pursuing a new person - or any person - while in this grieving period, so I'm also being clear as to not lead him on to expecting a committed relationship on any kind of specific timeline. Ya know. Being crystal clear and understood.

But speaking of this grieving period, he asked me what are 3 things about me that people wouldn't necessarily expect and that he should know. I did NOT mention current situation, but I did tell him I was Autistic and broke down some things. He is neurotypical. I was very much like, "aaaaaand here is where a potential problem is gonna arise".

Y'all. He sent me back a giant paragraph thanking me for the information, breaking down some of his patterns of behavior and language that may be challenging for me to give a heads up, and then created an understanding of direct, no subtext information delivery when it comes to serious things. He also said that sometimes he has to ask the gods to decipher what I said because he doesn't always understand my direct language. And it was so easy to just be like yo I don't associate judgment with needs for clarification. One of my favorite things to do is clarify - sharing knowledge is a special interest. And he was just very appreciative and said how this was all so refreshing.

Y'all, I cried. Really did. And it was a grief cry. When I got DX, I was with my abusive (in more ways than one) ex. He resented me for my brain, and the ways he made me feel about it, how he'd constantly gaslight me, and just his outright anger towards me when I'd ask for the simplest of accommodations. I thought I was over all that, but literally just this experience with this new person showed me that I'm not. I'm still carrying a lot of grief for myself from that abusive time, and I almost can't believe the casual and clear acceptance for this neurological condition from someone who doesn't have it too.

Y'all, I got PROBLEMS on PROBLEMS

But things feel better. Not everything. Oh no no. But things.

I knew updating my information for next year's insurance rates would make me feel ill but boy it made me feel ill. Going from paying $1 a month for insurance I rarely need to paying $142 per month for insurance I will rarely need, when the amount of money I am getting paid only just allows me to break even on bills and such in the first place, is a huge blow. I hate this. I hate it so much. And it's still the better option because if I tried to get insurance through my work it would be $300.

I don't even really get the option of trying to go without insurance because I have a chronic illness and cannot afford to take that risk anymore than I can afford to pay. It's hellish in both directions.

I know I shouldn't give these kinds of people the time of day or any attention but I'm just like ... How do you think like. How do you think like this. what is your thought process of " it's a fictional character so they can't be a child or teenager " like ??? I think they're just trying to defend ns//fw of children because hurr duhh uhhh durr fiction doesn't affect reality I can draw horribly disgusting things of a 14 year old character because it doesn't hurt anyone it's not a REAAL child !!1!!

I don't know, on the subject of gratitude and all that, here's the thing

I don't have any advice for anyone. That's two fold, first is does it seem like I have the answers yet when I'm still sorting myself out? Second though is just... over the years one thing I've learned is that people's paths are very different, and what works for me doesn't automatically work for anyone else

Like I'm not against sharing my thoughts, the times I can find them, I'm not gonna refuse, but I'm not gonna go around just tossing out advice

I'd rather try and offer a hand. May not be able to do much of anything, but rather at least offer and at least do what I can

People know, people already know they should get a shower, or exercise, or clean or whatever. If they aren't there's probably something in the way, and I'd rather either try and help unblock stuff, or failing that at least just let them vent without trying to butt in

That's my thoughts on stuff anyway

No thoughts, just Kiri trying to convince Fat Gum to put in a request to do a team up in Mexico and even asking his mom's family for help to pick one just so he could bring the Gum Agency on over and enjoy the sights there

bucky fanart:: i didn't have a nightmare

me, smacked in the face:: i mean why would a nightmare matter to a king whose every waking moment is the real nightmare

I keep thinkin please stop fucking w/ my head but rly I think I'm just doin all I can to make it last