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#these games are not hard to understand! why does no one read the effing text!!!
sage-nebula · 1 year
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me: "it's okay if people are wrong about things, people are allowed to be wrong about things, it's not a big deal."
someone: [refers to any Link other than the one in Ocarina of Time/Majora's Mask as the Hero of Time and/or refers to any Zelda other than the one in Skyward Sword as Hylia's reincarnation]
me: "I am going to gnaw through their arm like a beaver would a tree"
#it's SO ANNOYING it is literally my BIGGEST pet peeve#there is only ONE Hero of Time & that is the one from Ocarina/Majora!#the others are Heroes of DIFFERENT THINGS#and the ONLY Zelda that is a goddess reborn as a mortal is the one in Skyward Sword!#the others are HER DESCENDANTS#Demise cursed ZELDA'S BLOODLINE - ''the blood of the goddess'' means THE CHILDREN & GRANDCHILDREN ETC ETC THAT CAME FROM HER#and fucksake in Wind Waker - the first mainline game to come after Majora's Mask - that Link is SPECIFICALLY dubbed the Hero of WINDS#if you play a NG+ to get the ancient Hylian translated they even specifically say he's NOT the Hero of Time and HAS NO RELATION to him#these games are not hard to understand! why does no one read the effing text!!!#AGH!!!!!!!!#(also the Spirit of the Hero is the unbreakable will - it's not the same person reincarnated again and again)#(the only one that is the ACTUAL same person is Ganon)#(and even then - by the time BotW takes place he's become so corrupted over the cycles that he's not really a *person* anymore)#(but just an entity of pure malice)#i just. it frustrates me so much. this is such a petty thing to get annoyed abt but it ANNOYS ME SO MUCH#anyway#oh also Twilight Princess is the PROOF that the Hero is not reincarnated over & over again#bc the Hero's Shade? THAT'S THE HERO OF TIME#he was unable to move on after death bc he had no one to pass his skills onto#so he persisted until he could teach them to the Hero of Twilight#who very obviously can't be him reincarnated bc HIS SPIRIT IS STILL THERE#AS THE HERO'S SHADE#AGHHHHHHH drives me crazy#i realize this is me being a petty bitch but that's why it's called a PET PEEVE#i KNOW it's stupid but I'm still annoyed#a n y w a y
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coolcat101s · 10 months
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Raw notes from my surface level welcome home dive from last night
Obvious spoilers under the readmore
Welcome home:
Firefly video link https://www.clownillustration.com/4-14-bf
Bottom right of Eddie flowers have an audio link https://www.clownillustration.com/will-2
Bottom left has an audio log as well and the url https://www.clownillustration.com/help
Landing page:
Wally draws home link in it https://www.clownillustration.com/i
The y on the site update is invisible
Y hidden behind the word five in the update
“We always knew it was real, ever since that first itch in the back of our mind. You need to know too now, don’t you? Do you feel it. It’s good that you came back.” Good shit right on the page feels like Lore
About us:
The o is up
Hidden in text: When I unwrapped the first letter, I felt it. I heard it. Open. Open. Open. I want it out. I’m going to get it out.
After the text in the why did you make this website> Does it hurt?
Hidden After do you know how many episodes> The numbers are so hard to read. Sometimes I can’t see them.
The hearts https://www.clownillustration.com/a. Love the eyes stuff omg
Preying mantis at bottom right:
https://www.clownillustration.com/10-14-js it’s another video!
Stickers page
The spider: https://www.clownillustration.com/11-14-jb another video, also I notice it cuts out when they try to say Wally’s name in these interesting
The star flower drawing https://www.clownillustration.com/i-2 another audio with Wally drawings
Weird loopy thing over stickers and under the w
News:
Caterpillar https://www.clownillustration.com/12-14-hb another video the Wally cut out again at the end
“So many guest signatures… So many of them are trying to communicate. What are you telling me for? Do you think I can answer. What are you trying to do to me. I’m closing that guest book, I’m not playing this game anymore. The ringing is enough.” Feels like not the team is that is it Wally? Who is it?
The neighborhood:
Text changed I think:
Home is where the heart is and Welcome Home's residents are the heart of the neighborhood. Even if you don't live there, you're still one of its most important denizens! But don't worry, with the help of this colorful array of neighbors, it'll feel just like home in no time at all! 
Found this eye when I messed up copying the text above I’m not sure where it came from (update!! On desktop hes hidden behind the art banner apparently)
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Swirl under home still there
Still has as bellow, as above now works too which it didn’t before I don’t think : https://www.clownillustration.com/as-above here leading to stars that have this https://www.clownillustration.com/soon (he says let me in) and the c on back looks like a 3
Eddie had a bug on his page! https://www.clownillustration.com/8-14-ef
Wally’s page had a flower on his canvas https://www.clownillustration.com/will
Bug on the menu https://www.clownillustration.com/9-14-fp
Media:
All of these are amazing like even the not hidden stuff is so fun
Little rainbow bug thing after the interview: https://www.clownillustration.com/1-14-ph
Merchandising:
Spiral on the last phone photo, repeating  motif is noted
Butterfly: https://www.clownillustration.com/6-14-jf
The playfellow exhibition: big that runs and hides like a little sneaky https://www.clownillustration.com/2-14-sp
House at bottom left https://www.clownillustration.com/understand
Guestbook: in the opening a speech bubble from Wally https://www.clownillustration.com/find
Bug on the opening page https://www.clownillustration.com/13-14-he
Bug on first page https://www.clownillustration.com/7-14-ej
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steve0discusses · 4 years
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Yugioh S4 Ep8: Magic Mai
So fun fact, I was out of town around this Thanksgiving and I grabbed a laptop from my Dad’s stack of machinery he’s sort of collected over the years and lo and behold--he put Linux on it.
Like I dunno if you all can relate to this problem, but everything he touches turns into Linux and he’s trying to live this Windows free/Mac free lifestyle, and I get it, I’m friends with so many vegetarians, but like I hate this laptop. I'm using Gimp to make these screenshots...So I can re-do them later in Photoshop because...it just doesn’t feel right to put Papyrus on this computer. It already has Linux. This poor machine has suffered enough. Long story short, this’ll be a small update because right clicking on linux is ass.
Also, because I was on a laptop and realized how small my blog is for the first time--I don’t have control over the size of pictures in text posts, tumblr does, and in this particular theme it’s not allowing me to change the size, and so do me a favor. Click ctrl and + at the same time a couple times (I’m assuming most of you are on firefox). There. the pictures are the right size now. If you hated that, you can click ctrl and - but like lets be real, my font is occasionally...tiny.
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Anyway, we start discussing this episode on the confusing legs of the last one, where Mai is evil now, and it’s really not entirely clear if she’s possessed or if she’s just always been this way, or if she just FEELS like it.
And that’s all this episode is about, start to finish--is this Mai’s choice or was this not Mai’s choice? The answer is the same as it would be for a normal person: it’s complicated. Maybe it’s everybody’s choice. Maybe it was because no one did anything that Mai went completely haywire? Maybe it was because Mai hid how she was feeling so no one had any idea she needed help? Or, overall, maybe Mai is kind of a toxic person and wanted to be this way? Especially while she’s on children’s cartoon card drugs?
(read more under the cut)
So to start off, a weird thing happened at the beginning of this episode. After about 4 seasons, someone finally mentioned this:
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How many seasons has Yugi been talking to himself? Like, out loud. In front of everyone and Kaiba? This whole time, right? Like Valon just dashed my headcanon where I figured Yugi was smart enough to think his thoughts instead of speak his thoughts. He’s just not that smart, unfortunately.
Meanwhile, Mai has managed to attract this other (teenager?) guy and like...to go worse than Joey so quickly is kind of shocking. Mai just seems embarrassed by the amount of very young boys in love with her. And she’s not even a cougar about it, she doesn’t really seem to want this to happen but it keeps on happening.
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And although he is essentially the card form of a drug pusher, Valon has this soft spot for a girl I guess to give him some sort of redeemable flaw. However, she only wears tube tops and minis and spends like hundreds of dollars on her hair, so it doesn’t really make him seem any less shallow, tbh.
PS I’m surprised, that unlike all the other characters on Yugioh, I can’t just type in Valon’s name into Google and get his age and weight. No idea what his age is, and if you know, feel free to tell me but he just seems...exactly the same age as Joey. He seems very 17. Maybe it’s the obsession with motorcycles and children’s playing cards? Maybe it’s his big ol childlike eyes? He just seems young and niave like how a teenager who just fell in love with a very angry older woman would.
Joey tries to remind everyone, multiple times, that this game is the worst idea ever since it requires one of them to super die, but Mai is on card drugs so I don't know why they bothered. Also, why is Joey still surprised by this after 4 seasons of this?
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Yo it’s S4 and Mai witnesses magic non-stop but still has basically no idea how it works. She really did say “I have no soul” and it was like...I’m 90% certain she literally thinks she has no soul right now. Which I guess, statistically speaking, is rare to actually have a still intact soul after hanging out with the main villain, with the way this show typically goes.
Meanwhile, last episode it really sounded like Duke Devlin was driving to Pegasus’ company building. It really sounded like he would have gone directly there, since Weevil and Rex told him that Yugi was going to Pegasus.
Remember that Duke Devlin works for Pegasus and probably has his own parking spot.
So where did he go instead?
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You know how there’s only one gas station in the entirety of America?
I can’t believe it blew up.
Y’all what is the red splotch in the middle of the pile ps? That is legitimately a pile of blood, right? I didn’t shop that in. There’s just a red puddle in this kid’s show.
Y’all what is that? Like was there a scene with a red handkerchief that I missed? Is that a red handkerchief?
But to move past the mysterious pool of blood that confirms those bikers are so hella dead, I have no idea why Duke was here, I have no idea how he got the tip off that Yugi visited this place, but then he turned around and went back to SF so like...I guess he’ll arrive 3 days from now because again, they are in Arizona. They keep telling me this is right outside SF but like--Mesas. There’s Mesas.
And then this happened.
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That one guy on the writing staff who just stans Seto Kaiba so hard got into the drawing room, I see.
PS someone had to pose for this shot for them to draw this shot from this angle.
Meanwhile, lets see why Mai turned evil. Ah, because it is Yugioh, the biggest reason is that she has no friends (probably because she’s got the most acidic personality known to man) and isn’t card popular enough and got super bitter and jealous.
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Speaking as an artist who is online, I can understand the frustration here. Sometimes (99% of the time) you work really hard and no one cares and you get like 2 notes. And honestly, why should they? Like, why do you do it in the first place?
Mai echoes a lot of the issues of Seto last season, where she wants so badly to be the absolute best to prove herself to the ghosts of her past who really don’t care any more.
But, since Mai was in a coma when Seto got through all of that, I guess she never got the memo and still seems stuck on just wanting to be the best with no other reason than “to be the best” which again, sounds so much like art school problems. This is everyone who has ever had an interest in animation. We all go through that phase.
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Generally we don’t take peoples souls as a reaction to that type of discouragement, but then Mai made sure to mention in almost a foot note that she did spend like an entire season and a half trapped in Marik's shadow realm. And that kind of effed her up in a really big way.
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Thanks, Marik.
Really feels like Marik should be dealing with this problem--really feels like maybe Marik is the only person that we can actually point to and say “Oh yeah, that guy is to blame for Mai right now” And he is the only person that Mai does not actively go out and try to kill.
And I’ll have you know I just deleted like a 15 K word rant about the difference between character assassination and your character just--evolving into a jackass, and how it’s OK to have your character change into a jackass, especially after trauma. I felt this need to really have to defend this ancient writing technique that people have been using since about as long as stories have been around.
Then I remembered “Oh yeah, I’m just making this point because a few number of very loud idiots on the internet want to have very lukewarm hot-takes about popular characters solely because they enjoy baiting people on twitter into getting into week-long arguments that don’t go anywhere.” and I just...let it go. I let it just...go into the ether. Ah. The peace that comes when you already know you’re right.
But anyway, back to Yugioh, which thankfully doesn’t take a stance on this nuanced subject, and only presents this very serious problem without actually offering a solution (because there isn’t a one fit’s all solution to falling off the deep end and getting into drugs and murder), Mai decides to just go and blame this decision she made on anyone else. Because, why take responsibility for your actions, when you can pin it on people who were on the other side of the freakin planet when it happened?
Like, I just want to remind y’all that she was in ATLANTIS.
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I wonder how good the cell reception is in ATLANTIS.
I just...Mai is like in her mid twenties maybe thirty’s. She’s so arbitrarily old that she plays Yugi’s Mom in the video game spinoff where they’re reincarnations of medieval times. That’s how old she is.
Imagine if you made some epically BAD decisions because you were jealous of some teenager’s success and didn’t want to be weak anymore, and then you confronted those teens, and said “This is all your fault.”
Imagine looking someone as dysfunctional as Joey Wheeler and telling him “You made me like this” because lollllllll
And I present this as a joke but like basically this happens all freakin time. We’ve all had a friend like Mai. Past tense of course, because it’s really hard to keep a friend like Mai for very long. (One of my friend’s who went Mai destroyed my apartment one summer and then literally blamed it on me for going to California for 2 months and leaving her unattended.) But like...don’t let Mai’s do it to you. They can get better, but only if it’s their choice, really. You can’t force them to save themselves.
But, as Mai was finally ready to give up cards and probably improve her quality of life by a huge degree, unfortunately, she got sucked right back into the trap.
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Bro note: being a serial murderer cultist is basically working at McDonald's in this universe so maybe this wasn’t even that weird?
But that aside, this is alllllmost like a dark version of “Mai got into an abusive relationship to fill the void in her heart” except she’s not even really dating this guy? Like she hates this guy? He’s just kinda there?
Y’all I really can’t tell if Valon is in an abusive relationship with Mai who is using him for power or if she’s in an abusive relationship with him because he only wants her pretty face and wants to kill Joey because Joey liked her once--and maybe it’s both? Maybe both of these people are just...really bad for each other?
Overall Joey is kind of tossed into this not-a-love-triangle and I’m like
“Hey show? show? Am I supposed to....were any these people ever dating? Is there supposed to be an implied history? Am I supposed to get attached to this?” because I mean...the only character who was able to get some actual physical romance on this show was Pegasus when he macked the ghost of his dead wife because, again, Pegasus is the freakin king of this entire show. Of course HE can do it.
But have this show clarify what the hell is happening between Valon and Mai? I’m gonna take a bet that we will never get to see it beyond Valon being like “Ain’t she a beaut!” Like Steve Irwin talking to an alligator, and Mai just pretending he doesn’t exist. Yugioh romances are so completely one way every single time. If something more than that happens, I’ll be
shook.
Anyway, as all the children on the show keep repeating over and over again, they haven’t had any contact with Mai since she left the freakin country and they went back to High School.
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And so someone threatens to kill himself, as is Yugioh tradition, and someone else barks at him to NOT kill himself, as is also tradition, and they decide to play real cards next episode.
This whole entire episode, PS, Joey went out of his way to just...not play cards. that was this whole episode. Way to draw out a card game over three episodes, I guess.
Anyway if you want to read these from the start you can do so by clicking the link here
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Baby Ducks In The FP - TWB70
The FP is like Breaking: Electric Boogaloo set in a dystopian society of young twenty somethings who don’t know any better about the real world.
Frazier Park and the 248
Frazier Park, a subdivision somewhere in the greater state of California where wars aren’t fought over color or race but by county lines and dance. Not the Samba, not ballet, no crunk, but video game dance battles. Beat Beat Revolution, similar but exactly equal to the popular ninities arcade Dance Dance Revolution encourages battlers to pop, lock, and step in the name of where you from for points earned and undeniable street cred. Hit your mark and you live to fight dance another day. Too bad for BTRO, leader of the 248. Good guy living in a bad town. He danced till he couldn’t dance anymore. Poor fella's heart gave out in a dance battle against the penultimate villain next door, L Dubba E, who is just as annoying as his name sounds. Sure BTRO could’ve been roofied or maybe lugging about in a huge pair knee high ultra space boots wasn’t the best choice of footwear when playing a game where you must step on small lily pad sized shapes in an effort to score big. Not knocking his style but those boots weren't made for walking, it's not just what they do. One of this days those boots are going to dance all over you. [caption id="" align="alignnone" width="1280"] Soul Man, 1986.[/caption]
Hero is In The DNA
JTRO, brother to BTRO and witness to his fall from grace, leaves the 248 in great hero fashion to grieve for a period of time unknown to everyone but the screenwriter of this film. There was a montage, so we must assume it’s been, like, fitty years since he's been gone. Okay, more like two at the most. Dude didn’t even grow a beard by the time KCDC trekked across the small stretch of highway in a beat up ol’ Honda in search of the forgotten 248 heir to the throne. JTRO, self exiled 248 member, made good with his time getting swole carry wood and chopping logs. When KCDC finds him, and pleads for the hero to return home, JTRO refuses. The 248 ain’t his life no mo. "I’d rather bust these logs and dream of my dead brother and question why he wore those damn boots anyway. He knew they were too big!” Frustration aside, JTRO understood what he must do: he most return to the FP.
A fallen tree in a forest doesn’t make a sound. However, revenge screams like a mutha effing donkey on steroids. FP Homecoming
Home isn’t like it use to be. With the 249 in charge it’s like 1940’s prohibition up in the 248. L Dubba E, heir to the one liquor store in town has stopped service the 248 disrupting life as we knew little of it; we can only assume that shit is bad on a dystopian level. No drink means the bums are dry and if the bums are dry, then the baby ducks don’t get fed. The baby ducks don’t get fed. Not my words. All credit goes to KCDC for that, which is the best line of the entire film and there are some doozies.
TRO Hearts Stacey In The Fp
Fathers, be good to your daughters Daughters will love like you do But without the drink, fathers becomes assholes and beat up on their daughters. No heroes journey is complete without a damsel in distress and as harsh and real as John Mayer sung that beautifully crafted song, Stacey is a complete mess. We don’t even know why JTRO would even bother, but we do know that he didn’t take a shot in high school. As she was blowing through guys, JTRO respected the and like the girl enough as not to be just another bike ride. He’s dizzy without even have slept with the girl and among other horrible attributes, she’s hanging withL Dubba E who we can only assume has herpes of the everything. But a hero has chilvery etched into his DNA, and JTRO can’t fight that feeling of wanting to save his Winnie Cooper. Maybe she is cute, in that Betty on crack next door type of way or maybe it’s because he only sees out of one eye. Did I mention JTRO wears an eye patch?
The Redeemer
No redemption song is complete without it’s maestro, BLT, to lead the redeemer to salvation. Through training and excessive hard work, JTRO will work his way to the supreme status of sleeping within the trainers quarters. Scrubs sleep outside. To be the best and covet a comfortable mattress, JTRO will have to be the best, but unfortunately his vision is cloudy — he lacks focus. That girl got him dizzy! No heroes journey goes without a training montage! (Jamaican Horns Here)
Running
Weights
Running with weights, DC, piggyback
Dragging a tire
Beat Beat Revolution Waffles sandwiches
And electrified tennis racquets - now lasts some low grade Rocky shit
NIGGA
N: Never I: Ignorant G: Getting G: Goals A: Accomplished Didn’t really bother me. Well, it did before this stupid ass validation as to why they allowed KCDC used it so freely when I saw no black people in this film. Middle class youngster during the nineties and up till now, still find it okay to use the word nigga when there isn't a black person around to correct them. Some of them just don't care because they're hip, listen to rap music, and have a couple of black friends. Words of wisdom: you will still get your ass whipped. Just saying.
Stripper Shame
I was more upset over the tire stripper pool. Okay, this is the moment in the heroes journey when he’s tested before the final face off with L Double E . JTRO, his trainer BLT, and KCDC invade a party hosted in the 138, a ramshackle Russian Trailerhenge park where dreams go to die. This is where we not only find the girl, Stacey, but our boys happen upon a tire stripper pole based in a pool of water. Now that’s trashy. Isn’t stripping for those idiots in that town insulting enough? You have this poor dunk girl —because alcohol how she eases the pain — swaying to in fro on a pole mounted in a tire surrounded by water in a kiddie pool? Now, that’s offensive. To test his training, JTRO has to entertain the musing of another loud mouth idiot who resembles a smaller and lest cool Gary Oldman from True Romance. It’s in this scene we learn what truly broke his brother BTRO, however, the characters never elude to the fact that BTRO was drugged before his death match with Double L, and the life hack to never send anyone to get you a drink. Date rape rule #1: Order your own drink and watch the bartender make it yourself, ladies.
BTRO Avenged!
The best two moments from this Beat Beat Revolution dance off is the bystander cuffing a woman’s breast for no apparent reason than to show a man holding one beast of a nonchalant woman and the fact that the death match was enclosed inside a ratty mesh cage. Yes, a cage match, people! If you’ve ever played DDR, you should understand how ridiculous this is as you literally jump, hop, and step in place to play this game. A cage ain’t gonna do nothing for you but give somebody tetanus in this instance. After the hero avenges his brother’s death, a fight breaks out and somebody pulls a gun. This was by far the best directed sequence in the movie. The effects were well done and the action scenes were quite impressive for a film on a limited budget. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r5QtZs09_0Y
The FP Does Not Get Made Without Overwhelming Support
As ridiculous a film this is; The FP does not get made if not for the support of family, friends, and the entire 248. Someone had to read this script and question whether the Trost Bros. had lost their collective minds. It’s in this support from I assume the place he’s from that this film shows its true heart. Listed in the credits: * Trost Bros. - Written and Directed * Ron Trost - Ex Producer/ Effects Coordinator * Sarah Trost - Costume * Brandon Trust - Directory of Photography * Jason Trost - Story By No matter how bad the film might be, it takes a lot of effort to pull together the resources to complete such an endeavor. Kudos to all involved in the production of this film. They were successful in their efforts to get a sequel made to The FP, and are currently in post-production. So, if this podcast episode encourages anyone to watch this movie, then maybe that’ll encourage you to support the sequel whenever it releases.
The Scoop Dujour
Links:
The squeal to The FP in the works. BEATS OF RAGE: THE FP PART II Almost Black - Indian student accepted into medical school as an African American [embed]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Kp7eSUU9oy8[/embed] Dedicated to my wife.
Flava Text of the Week:
Never Ignorant Gettin' Goals Accomplished
The plate full but we're always open for suggestions
Leave us a voicemail or email about the podcast episode, ask a question, or share what entertains you. Phone 520-775-1690 Email [email protected] Follow links: Twitter, Facebook, Google+, etc. Subscribe links: iTunes, RSS, email newsletter, etc.  
Talking With Burritos Presents A New Episode!
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inventors-fair · 4 years
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Lessons Unlearned: Short Story Commentary and Reflection
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Well. 21 entries isn’t exactly a 50+ commander extravaganza, but that’s where we’re at. This contest made a lot of sense to me, in my own head, and I think I got lost in the concept without considering the full execution, or that Other People Might Not Think Quite Exactly Like Me. 
Still, I would say that almost all the entries created their own unique worlds, some plane-based, some personal, and it made for great and creative reading. I feel that something more concrete would help a contest like this in the future, like... Well, I’ll have to save that for another time.
Onto the commentary!
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@abzanhero — Captain Morgan the Vengeful
The Card: It’s interesting design space you’re playing with here, and I’m actually a fan. You could pump him up to a 2/2 for a little battlefield presence, but it’s not out of the question. The fact that there’s not consistent graveyard tutelage means that he’s not as overpowered as he could be, and it’s only one counter, which... Admittedly, it’s powerful, but there are a few moving parts to make this less than incredibly overpowered. I’d rather the trigger happen at the end step for that “final fate” feel, personally. Minor templating: “shuffle it into your library” (only planeswalkers get personal pronouns), and I think contemporary design supports “when you do” as a trigger to respond to instead of “if you do.” 
The Story: Ha, it rhymes! ... And yeah, it doesn’t precisely explain the ins and outs of the curse, but it’s swashbuckling as hell. It’s one degree off-kilter to have a rhyme that isn’t part of a meta-tale, but I like it, so. I can imagine younger players doing their best pirate voice as they shuffle him (the character, not the card, I know, pedantry) into their library. Arr.
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@dimestoretajic — Eternal Bond
The Card: I had to go through the Zendikar image gallery to make sure, but yeah, “party members” isn’t a term. I believe this card would read “Exile two target creatures in a party. (reminder text)” And it would be “combined” toughness, right? Either way, this is a hyperspecific and expensive removal spell, at rare, with a modest amount of lifegain. That simply doesn’t feel good, and I’m not getting a feeling of a “bond” out of, well, a removal spell. Let’s move on.
The Story: So, a kind of love story, framed around a removal spell? That already doesn’t make a lot of sense. I don’t have anything positive to say about the writing itself, so for Magic critique, I’ll say that it doesn’t feel like a Magic card or part of a Magic world, absolutely not Zendikar. There’s a time and place for those kinds of cards, such as Cathartic Reunion and Planewide Celebration. But Magic doesn’t need single-card love stories, unless they’re remarkably well-written.
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@fractured-infinity — Baddon, Rivstalt’s End
The Card: Okay, that IS a real town in Innistrad. Had to check that. Anyway, man, someone would love to make a commander out of this bad boy. Kinda eh that he doesn’t do anything specific on his own, but the death effect is cool as-is, I suppose. The only issue is that HOO BOY you are going to have a LOT of memory issues with all your Zombie tokens capital Z. It’s flavorful and I think it would be worth doing, but the second part... Nah, keep it simple. 3UB, no protection, just Zombies, and you’re golden.
The Story: I’m having a really hard time parsing your writing. It took a couple reads to understand that he’s talking about... Well, actually, I don’t know. What do emotional bonds have to do with taking the town, or damaging the bodies? How does that work? Do we get that anywhere else in the story? Hate to say it, but this little snippet doesn’t really make much sense in or out of context, without heavy inference about the world that we don’t really get.
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@gollumni — Tempest Serpent
The Card: I love the idea of off-color emerge! Emerge was a fantastic mechanic and I feel that it could come back again. It creates some really neat draft ideas that unfortunately may bend a lot of the pie rules. But also. A three mana 3/3 flying hexproof? That’s OP at uncommon, no question, good lord. Small templating note: Flying comes before hexproof, and the second should be lowercase.
The Story: I can just see the art of a guy on a boat cowering as the ship snaps in half and a massive stormy elemental electric snake monster BLOWS UP outta the ocean ready to eat him. It’s cool how it’s not about the serpent itself, but rather the human/NPC interacting with the serpent. It’s not Hemingway, but you conveyed something great! I liked this story.
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@i-am-the-one-who-wololoes — Gravedigger of the Order
The Card: I don’t get how all these parts come together. Pro zombies, sure, she’s a zombie caller. The blocking/blocked trigger, uh, I don’t see that coming up a lot considering that she’s only a 2/2 with no significant combat-oriented keywords. And the last ability implies a strong return mechanic that I’ll admit makes a lot of cool sense with your flavor but doesn’t translate to perfect gameplay. I don’t know, maybe I just don’t grok this card, but it feels like there was cohesion sacrificed in favor of flavor.
The Story: Well, this sure as heck ain’t Innistrad. I’m curious about where this would take place, and what kind of world you’re going for here. Let’s try looking at it from an isolated perspective. It’s an alright macabre story, so I’ll give you that. But the name. What is the “Order?” Is she part of it? Do all members of the order whisper to bones like her? I don’t understand her goals and motivations, what “kindness” she whispers, why the dead are coming back at all.
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@ignorantturtlegaming — Demonic Mentor
The Card: It feels unplayable and yet extremely playable at the same time. It’s expensive and creates some really crazy shenanigans in Commander with surplus life. Oh my goodness, Oloro would LOVE this card, good GOD. It’s unfortunate that it does have to be costed this way and that it makes sense for a tutor. I believe the wording could be adjusted to one chunk of text: (using Covetous Urge and Thief of Sanity as references)
“Search target player’s library for up to X cards and exile them, then that player shuffles their library and you lose X life. You may cast those cards for as long as they remain exiled and you may spend mana as though it were mana of any color to cast those spells.”
The Story: I don’t get it. What does having  a demonic mentor have to do with brother rescue? I assume this is part of a larger story, but we don’t have that story for context, and mentorship doesn’t have to do with rescue. This is a card about tutelage and power and losing life, not losing a mind. The library is so often represented as the mind, and you’re not losing that, you’re saving part of it. Really iffy on this one, despite the coolness of the card. Also, watch out - you switched tenses in the second sentence. 
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@macaroni-and-squeez — The Iroan Race
The Card: RRR for haste, sure, whatever, that’s fine in this day and age, if a little color-heavy. But this card isn’t meant for limited. This is a build-around-me if I ever saw one. “Four instances of haste”?? I don’t want to call that brilliant because it frustrates my sensibilities, but dammitall, it’s...it works. For those of you doubting me, the Zendikar Rising release notes for Attended Healer states “Multiple instances of lifelink on the same creature are redundant.” So, if that is to be believed, this card is designed for some combo player to go nuts with haste nonsense. Or maybe I’m just reading it wrong. Either way, I like this card. But I would make it win the game for you, not anyone else.
The Story: Sure, I’m into it. A guy running a race for Iroas checks out. I would have condensed it a little, but in general, yeah, it fits the world and makes a neat little story. I’m really hung up on the name “Kris.” That...doesn’t feel like a fantasy name as much. I mean, we have things like Gideon, and Judith, etc. but Kris? I can’t help but feel that it’s a smidge too out of touch with Theros worldbuilding. Yay, nitpicks.
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@milkandraspberry — Burn Down the Library
The Card: Conceptually, this card is pretty cool. Very strange. It’s a different take on anti-blueness in red, and I can go for it. Sorry about MSE and fonts. Reinstallation is a pain but it’s possible. Anyway. I wouldn’t call this card a breakout all-star, but it would be...fun, I suppose. A good combat trick enchantment thing. Shame it doesn’t do much if you have an empty hand. With wording: Use “can’t” instead of “cannot cannot.” Use “cast blue spells” instead of “play;” that’s been phased out for a while. You also can’t discard spells, but you can discard blue CARDS. Question: what if you couldn’t cast blue spells from your hand? Eh? Eh? Flashback and madness? Ehhhhhh?
The Story: This time, I’ll give an example of how this could be shortened. “After years of fruitless study, the young scholar found a better use for her teacher’s wisdom.” Maybe “frustrated young scholar,” or something to give her motivation. Why is she burning down the library? That’s the most important question to ask. “Because she felt like it” is the obvious answer, but that’s not motivation, that’s not intrigue. We have to ask “why,” always. Your story makes sense, but it’s just on the brink of great characterization.
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@nine-effing-hells — Arch-Evoker’s Capstone
The Card: I want to like it, and I probably do. I don’t know what kind of deck would play it, as it feels like a Commander card for sure, but yeah, I think I do like it. It’s got powerful stuff attached to it with very red sensibilities. The land destruction is pretty wild, but it’s expensive as hell. Or is it? Five mana to destroy two lands... That’s actually, hm. That’s actually really, really, super strong if this were to see any limited play. You may even have to make it XXRR to get around that if you want to keep that effect. Land destruction is unfun. (I <3 Ponza though, so)
The Story: With this specific card, I wouldn’t have recommended also adding three lines of flavor text on top of four paragraphs of rules text. Additionally, um, I don’t get that last line. “It wasn’t every day the horizon was on fire for a week straight”? It’s exerting too much effort without a strong effect on the reader. Edit and save for a card without as much rules text.
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@partlycloudy-partlyfuckoff — Spiraling Depression
The Card: Buries? What opponent? Is this targeting? Is this an edict effect? Least power among creature they control, I assume? I legitimately don’t know what you’re trying to do with this card. Wretched Banquet-esque?
The Story: Instead of attempting to give this flavor text legitimate critique, I would instead advise you that referencing real-world conditions such as “spiraling depression” without a critical lens might appear as insensitive to individuals legitimately suffering from those conditions.
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@reaperfromtheabyss — Blazing Sacrifice
The Card: I really love this card, actually. The choice to do CMC over power I would argue requires playtesting, and I would prefer power to compare to other cards in the family such as the lovely Fling, but I can see the argument against it. Yeah, not much to critique or add onto that front. You made a really great card mechanically.
The Story: And then the story lost me entirely. “monsters that would surely go on to destroy everything he loved” is clunky to say the least. “Surrounded by monsters” is fine, it’s decent, it gets the job done. Monsters are monsters, that’s that. But that last line. That’s...a D&D reference, right? I can’t take that seriously, I just can’t. It’s verging on cliche, and it makes sense on a rudimentary level but adds nothing to the Magic world. I’ll be the first to say that yes, it’s personal bias and that some players would appreciate the memetic qualities, but it simply doesn’t do it for me.
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@scavenger98 — Walking Stick
The Card: It...is a stick. You know, I think I like this one, and frankly I would consider it for constructed play. I’m a Krenko guy, what can I say. But yeah, it’s fun, it’s fragile, it’s got good equip synergy, and I might actually be underestimating its power. I don’t know, is there some crazy combo that you could do with it? This stick is made for walking, not fighting. Heh. Good flavor tie.
The Story: And there it is, right? It’s kinda funny how it’s implied that the whole story about this thing is that this piece of equipment is breaking. And that’s kinda what makes me on the fence about it. Like, if you had a creature, and the text was about the creature dying, that wouldn’t make a lot of sense, right? Maybe if the text was about Bredik fearing the day when he WOULD face a sword? Eh, I’m just being picky here. I think that it’s still pretty good. I like Bredik. He’s not a fighter, but he walks very fast.
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@tmstage — Rocks Fall, Everyone Dies
The Card: Yeah, once again, looking at Zendy Risey, I think the wording would be different than “full party.” I’ve been sitting here and I can’t come up with a better way to word it, but it still doesn’t mesh well even if it groks. And it’s a situational card that’s either going to do literally nothing or it’s going to destroy four creatures for one mana. That’s...not great. Hey. I understand if you don’t like a specific mechanic, but I’ve seen some really great ideas from your neck of the woods. Let’s keep going.
The Story: Technically, uh, this does not fit the criteria. Who was praying to the vengeful god? Was it the creatures in the other party? Is there a god of making rocks fall down? What’s up with the name, anyway? There’s a strong sense of disconnect and many questions that go unanswered. But considering all the factors that are going into this card, I have a feeling they aren’t really asking to be answered anyway.
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@walker-of-the-yellow-path​ — Marathon of Mogis
The Card: Wow, I wasn’t expecting two Theros-themed God-themed enchantments that gave a number of creatures haste. Great minds and all. So, this card. I don’t think you need to reference the active player. The whole thing can be toned down a little. “At the beginning of each player’s combat (or end?) step, that player sacrifices all creatures they control that didn’t deal combat damage to a player this turn.” Keeping it simple. Honestly, though, I...am not sure I like it for four mana. It feels like a game-ender kind of card. Frankly, I would make it six. And I know that’s a lot and I know that it might be too much, but to be honest, this would be an unfun card otherwise, in my opinion. It’s really, REALLY powerful for a clock.
The story: Is that Mogis’ deal? Does he make people run? I checked the wiki and read through it all and I don’t understand why Mogis would get pleasure out of people not dying. The point of the stampedes and the destruction is to invoke slaughter and sacrifice, not to run humans to the bone. The ferocity of minotaurs is not sadistic. This feels like a Rakdos card — the cult, not the color combo. I feel that there was a misunderstanding.
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@wolkemesser​ — Otherskin Scarecrow
The Card: I’ll go out on a limb and say that you could make this a little more Horizons-y and give this card Changeling instead of just saying it has all creature types. Could that make it a shapeshifter? Hm, what if, because it wears clothing from characters in the past, it also has the creature types of all creatures in graveyards? But I digress. Anyway, this card. It’s not bad! It’s not making me super excited, but it’s not bad. You meant for this to have a Reaper King vibe, right? Or at least to work well with it? I think you succeeded. 
The Story: Love the first sentence, don’t quite understand the second one. My interpretation is that it’s taking skin from others, right? Well! Um! That’s actually scary and makes me miss the world of Lorwynmoor even moor. Er, more. It’s unfortunate that the mechanics of the card don’t necessarily depict “skinning intruders alive and taking their identity in a grotesque fashion” as much as I’d personally like. Still, that’s a risk, and you know what, the implications aren’t super strong but it’s enough for me to grok.
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Once again, thank y’all for your entries. New contest tomorrow. Be prepared. Be scared. Be....ard. 
-@abelzumi
17 notes · View notes
inventors-fair · 4 years
Text
Recycling day: Commentary on “Unique Artifacts”
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This contest went exactly how I was hoping it would go. A variety of artifacts, a whole slew of unique mechanical ideas, experimentation — what more could I ask for? I’m glad that people liked this one. I’ve been stewing with it for a little bit. I think there were a few wording issues that I’ll get around to, but I’m also a stickler for perfection. Y’all should know how pedantic I am at this point. I’m practically a vedalken.
Anyway. Commentary time!
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@ajani​ — Devra Chai
I really like your callback to Indian inspiration and the nature of Kaladesh. Mechanically, this card’s got some chops. I also like the abstract use of energy here as it relates to food. There are a few easily fixable issues. Firstly, there should be a comma after “sacrificed.” Secondly, as this is a Food, the second ability should be “2, T, Sacrifice Devra Chai: You gain 3 life.” The “You” is super important. Lastly, and most pedantically, as great as the flavor text is, “it’s” should be “its” because English is certainly a language. Small issues aside, good idea overall. 
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@deafeningsandwichpeach​ — Ancient Stone of Greed
The power level here is really hard to judge. The draw on the first ability seems really strong. Did you base this on Coveted Jewel? Overall, I feel that this card is a fine idea but a little busted with any artifact untapping. Filigree Sages makes this an infinite draw combo, but it’s not broken wide open. Let’s fix the wording. The second ability should be “Spend this mana only to cast a Hydra or Dragon spell.” This should be four lines, with “Skip your draw step” and the death trigger being on separate lines. I’m 80% sure that “Skip your draw step” also should be the first line on the card, and with that, you can probably take off the flavor text.
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@demimonde-semigoddess​ — Gilded Yarn
This is an interesting one. Personally, adding an activated ability onto the equipment itself that’s not an equip cost seems a little hard to grok for the average player. Flavorfully, I understand the first ability, but not the attack clause at all. I’m not connecting it to anything specific in mythological tropes. It’s not a bad card mechanically, but I’m a little lost. Did you shift+enter for the equip cost? It looks really close to the other line.
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@dimestoretajic​ — The Steel Leaf
The one and only! I like the callback. From a cursory look, I don’t think there is an actual “steel leaf” on Dominaria, but the sentiment is appreciated. I’m a little iffy on the fact that it doesn’t exactly do anything if you don’t have the trigger, and it doesn’t really help itself to the trigger, but it’s okay to have cards that you need to build around. The last ability is a little awkward because the way it’s worded now you can return green creatures your opponents control to their owner’s hand and it gets around hexproof, which I’m sure wasn’t intentional. “you control” could fix that easily.
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@fractured-infinity​ — Cold-Iron Skillet
This is a fascinating little equipment. I love the creativity here. Honestly, not a whole lot to say about this one. It’s niche, but flavorful enough. Maybe the second ability should somehow be tied into being equipped to a creature? After all, the skillet’s not gonna do anything by itself, right? Major notes: both “foods” and “faeries” should be capitalized.
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@gollumni​ — Pontiff’s Coinbox
Now this is unique. I can perfectly imagine the art here, which is majorly cool. I’m not sure why you tied the untapping to each opponent’s upkeep rather than their untap step, which is the way things usually go. And based on the amount of massive counters you can gain fairly early on, “twice the number” might be a little too powerful. The last ability should have “YOU gain 3 life” as well. I’d add a “(1)” to it as well, personally. I’m a little iffy on this kind of white acceleration, but there’s only one way to find out, right? 
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@greensunzenith​ — Dust Bunny
It’s a super cute idea, for sure. I kinda like the idea that your opponent keeps having to sweep it away, and that it’ll keep coming back. The difficulty in removing it is a bit of a pain, but that’s the nature of the beast, I suppose. I wouldn’t call the design anything mind-blowing, and frankly, as a one-drop it’s a pain in the butt probably more than it should be, but it’s not bad. Might have to cost 2 or 3 mana, and I would add a little flavor if you can come up with something.
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@grornt​ — Smothering Rug
Well, I didn’t expect a rug for this contest, so kudos there. It changes up combat in a really powerful way, and I’m worried about its power level in a limited format. It’s an anti-trampler, anti-first striker, and man, that makes combat complicated. This is a card that would have to see a significant amount of testing, considering that every deck can play it. Doesn’t blow me away, but it’s good enough. Again, might want to consider flavor text with the amount of rules text that you have here.
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@hypexion​ — Spy Satellite
It’s unfortunate that we had two spy-oriented cards submitted here. Surveillance is a great concept, and I’m glad you used the name in a flavorful way. I don’t know how powerful the surveil is here considering that it’s harder to remove than other creatures which have repeatable surveil. It’s a good card, certainly. I don’t know if the second ability needs UU instead of 1U, but I guess I can see the reasoning. Flavor text is pretty good. Overall, it’s a fine enough card. Save it for a custom cube.
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@i-am-the-one-who-wololoes​ — Press of Magic Knowledge
Ah, batching. I think that you were ambitious in the way that you designed this card, and I’m not sure the payoff is entirely worth it. Seven different creature types is a lot to ask for, and it implies that all these different types would be in a single set. I think that’s entirely too much to ask for. The card itself isn’t...bad? It’s incredibly powerful. The wording might be a little convoluted. Why does it give the ability to the spells, instead of having it just be a trigger? “Whenever you cast an instant or sorcery spell, you may tap an untapped Spellcaster you control. When you do, copy that spell. You may choose new targets for the copy.” A little easier to grok. Name and flavor text could use a little work, too. Doesn’t excite me.
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@illharg-the-rave-boar​ — Hunted Windmill
I’m still thinking about this card. The fact that is has menace and that it gives your opponent a single creature is kind of an “eff you” but in limited, it’s certainly a pain in the butt. The two toughness really makes it feel fragile, but maybe the eight power makes up for it? I think this card could be fine. I think it could even be good. It’s still asking a LOT of questions that only playtesting and the right environment could ask for.
Also tfw “Dawn Kijote.” Take your kudos and go.
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@kavinika​ — Ace of Spades
This card is... Restrictive. Basically, it says that “for the rest of the game, I decide all coin flips,” and that’s not interactive. It’s not exactly fun. If it was a sacrifice effect with a secret kind of ETB, then I guess it would be okay, but unlike Krark’s Thumb, it’s getting rid of a key part of randomness with no time limit, and that’s not great. I liked the philosophy of your submission, but I don’t feel that this card is adherent to MTG principles.
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@koth-of-the-hammerpants — Amphora of Ephara
Kudos for making me look up the word “amphora.” Yet another card I can easily visualize! So, in terms of power level. Man. This card is a pain in the butt. In the right deck, it can grind out aggro decks with even the smallest creatures, and I assume there would be enough artifact/enchantment removal to make it not busted, but holy cow this could be a potential pain. And you know what? That’s not necessarily a bad thing. I would call this card annoying, certainly, but not in a “win the game” way. Two things: One, there should be a comma after the blue mana symbol in the activated ability. Two... “a city?” Too vague. Gotta spice it up with worldbuilding and/or specificity, man.
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@machine-elf-paladin​ — Headmaster’s Lectern
Another great choice for a unique artifact here. Love it. It’s a simple design, but it’s perfectly functional, and sometimes that’s all we can ask for. It’s a great uncommon. Doesn’t reinvent the wheel, but it’s a card that works, and that’s just plain fine. Flavor text 7/10. It’s a little hard to grok exactly what that immortalization looks like and where we are in the timeline. You set up a grand artifact, and then add a funny bit, and the two don’t exactly mesh perfectly. Both parts are fine. Again, good enough to worldbuild.
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@mistershinyobject​ — Peace Table
Let’s get the good out of the way: I like how the middle ability gives a “swords to plowshares” kind of feel. That aspect works. That first ability, though, is missing a major wording. As it reads now, you can tap it and tap any number of creatures with different names — that you don’t control. And you can target those same creatures after. So, basically, for four mana your opponent never gets to attack again. I know that wasn’t your intention at all, but that’s the way the submission reads. Minor note: the flavor text should feel funny, but the art and concept is pretty serious, and it’s a little bit of a tonal clash.
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@misterstingyjack​ — Unwanted Gift
Surprise! It’s horrible. Not the card, though, because I love this card. I can see it going into a set with Morph, and that works perfectly well. It might have to be mythic, because holy shit a reverse Immortal Sun is still awful to deal with. And I take a LOT of issue with that last ability. Just have it punish for every card draw! It’s totally functional without that weird restriction.
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@nine-effing-hells​ — Beldam’s Mortar
This is my favorite artifact in terms of uniqueness. You added mythological aspects that are little-known but easy to grok, it feels magical, it seems cool, and it’s so unusual that you can’t help but to just plain love it. Now, the card. Using Bladed Bracers as a template, there should be one line for the equip buff, and another that says “As long as equipped creature is a Druid, Hag, Shaman or Warlock, it can’t be blocked.” I might take out either Druid or Shaman from that list, personally? Three might be the limit for batching. The flavor text could also talk a little bit more about the importance of the mortal itself as a means of transportation.
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@nvijork​ — Scrying Dish
I have a soft spot for tutors. They are my absolute favorite cards. I love combo, control, unique synergy, all that crazy stuff. Additionally, I love randomness. So, there are two changes I would make to this card, one mechanical and two syntactically. The syntax one is that “3″ should be “three.” That’s just how Magic works. There should also be a comma after “(4).” Mechanically, I would also add that after you shuffle and put the cards on top, you draw a card. It’s the payoff to the scry, it bumps the power level up, and it justifies the cost. Overall, I really liked this card.
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@real-aspen-hours​ — Nutrient slurry
I guess this card would be an uncommon? You gotta add rarity to text submissions. I think that for next week I’ll add an example post. Anyway, besides the name capitalization, I think that this card actually works really well. It feels green, it’s powerful enough, it’s synergistic with the game, and could see some pretty cool +1/+1 counter interaction. Not bad at all. The flavor text might need to be in quotes, because, well, it’s first-person. The card is pretty great, but the submission needs polish.
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@reaperfromtheabyss​ — Resincase Relic
I really would have added imprint here. Although, would that imply that the card never comes back? It’s honestly not the worst price to pay. This is a perfectly functional mana rock, a theoretically budget version of Chrome Mox, and I’m okay with that. It should be “one mana” instead of “a mana,” looking at the Thriving lands and Chrome Mox itself. And two lines of flavor text wouldn’t have gone amiss here.
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@scavenger98​ — Storm Jar
I really want to like this card. For the first ability, I would absolutely make it a may ability — “you may have target creature gain or lose flying until end of turn.” Gotta simplify it. The second ability needs the “s” in “sacrifice” to be capitalized. This is a fun card mechanically, and very potentially powerful in limited! What’s with the flavor text, though? I don’t get it.
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@shandylamb​ — Cursed Compass
So, major mechanical issue: You, as the player, don’t explore — the equipped creature explores. It would read: Equipped creature has “T, Pay 1 life: Scry 1, then this creature explores.” Easy enough fix, but needs to happen. Additionally, good lord, this should be at least an uncommon. Potential scrying and exploring each turn? Very powerful, moreso than I think you’re giving credit for. A great idea for sure, but NOT common, no sir. I like it, don’t get me wrong. Also, I assume this is from one of the Pirates movies. In the future, please clarify the specific piece of media. 
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@starch255​ — Orb of Petrification
This is a card that I really spent a lot of time thinking about. I still don’t know what to feel about it. It’s evident that you spend a lot of time thinking about this card and putting it together, and I want to give you credit for that first and foremost. The second ability is really weird to me, because it prevents the orb itself from activating its abilities, and it shuts down all artifacts on board? I’m not positive how that works flavorfully. It’s not bad. It’s probably super powerful in commander, not gonna lie. Control magic out the wazoo. I’m still on the fence about this one. Fine in standard, fine in limited, probably part of a frustrating combo in eternal formats. Still gotta congratulate you for the design process.
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@teaxch​ — Semaphore Flag
Another really cool choice for a unique artifact. Functionally fun as a build-around. The card needs some kind of basic flavor text, because man it’s looking blank as heck right now. But older cards do that sometimes. Maybe I’m just a stickler for these sorts of things. Overall: probably fine. Probably not gonna see play except for in that deck made by That Guy that copies a buttload of artifacts.
~
Thank you all for your submissions! New contest tomorrow. Get the creative juices flowing.
15 notes · View notes
inventors-fair · 4 years
Text
Pop Culture Commentary
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Thank you all for your contributions this week! I’m really proud with the way that people took from a variety of shows, books, movies and video games. Fun contests like this are interesting because I gotta let my guard down and not take things so seriously.
With that in mind, here we go!
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@ace-hobo​ — Rouse the Oathbreakers
Great rare tribal card. I like how it’s fairly low-cost and is a flavor win plus a really fun niche tribal build-around. When you’re reanimating, use “return,” see Angel of Glory’s Rise. Additionally, if you’re using MSE, shift+enter will allow you to put the attribution underneath the quote.
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@cas-420 — Left for Dead
As a spell by itself, I like how powerful it is. However, I’m not sure I understand the name as it relates to the card; I know you wanted a connection with the game, but I feel that the connection is tentative. “Last Stand” or something would have been more appropriate. I don’t think you need “All” in that second ability, and you can just steal Angel’s Grace wording for the other part. Fun Orzhov card!
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@dabudder​ — The Heart of Etheria
I love this card. It tells a story about legendary creatures, it tells a story about sacrifice, and it’s, no pun intended, heartbreaking. “Heart” in “Heart counters” doesn’t need to be capitalized, but “return” does. I feel that for storytelling it could also work better if the trigger happened at the beginning of your end step.
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@dimestoretajic​ — Shepard’s Charm
This is a weird build-around-me. I think that despite the gameplay being a little weird to say the least, you use colorless mana effectively to show artifacts as machines of their own in this world. You were right about missing “token.” It happens, no biggie. I have the feeling that running multiple copies of this is a bit much, considering the strength of “gain control of all permanents” that would eventually happen. Oh, God, copying this...
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@donutwraith — Unorthodox Summon
I’m afraid without context, I don’t understand this card at all. What is “sem?” What clearance? Also, why “Gentle Giant?” I know it makes sense flavorfully, perhaps, but it’s weird as an actual card type. Zero mana flash enchantments are... Dangerous, mechanically. I can’t think of any ways that it would be broken off the top of my head, but I can think of several players who’d be chomping at the bit to play it.
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@emmypupcake — Louisoix’s Final Sealing
Great flavor. Cool moment. Very overcosted. Six mana for a narrow removal spell like this... Well, I’d rather run a board-wipe or simply a two-mana card that does the exact same thing. For such a high cost and with the legendary restriction, in the future consider other cards and their impact that they have for that mana, then see what other powerful effect you could add.
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@fractured-infinity​ — Preservation // Ruin // Harmony
Are these the names of actual characters and events in the book? Not sure how to feel about that. I like how Harmony can be “destroyed” by your opponents chipping away at their own resources. Watch out for run-on sentences in “Ruin” with that first ability. Without the book context, I think the names are kinda banal, but that’s just me being a pretentious douche canoe. I’m sure that the books make them more effective.
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Genex-P — Soylent Green is People
Great flavor connection! Remember that the quote attribution needs to go on a different line, and that when making Food tokens they have reminder text instead of rules text, see Bake into a Pie. Also, remember, a COMMA after the G, and exile a human CARD. Gotta be specific about these things!
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@ghost31415926535 — Siege of the White Lotus
Really interesting enchantment! I love how it rewards multicolor strategies and turns all your stuff into the Avatar in their own special way. Flavorfully, it’s been a while since I’ve watched AtlA but there are other people who can tell me whether or not this checks out. I’m a fan of the card in general. Just remember proper capitalization and punctuation. There may be an easier way of wording this all too, but I like how it reads.
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@gollumni​ — Imperfect Clone
Darnit, Brian. Bryan? Whatevers. I love this flavor, especially in context. I’m thinking of different ways to word it. “Until end of turn, target creature you control has the same base power and toughness as target creature you don’t control.” IDK, this card’s fun.
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@greensunzenith​ — The Culling of Straholme
I love this card, and the only thing that bugs me, the ONLY thing, is that I didn’t know if that first ability “works.” Aether Storm shows that it does, and I should have done more research. Call this one an honorary runner-up. It tells a fantastic story about the option of destruction followed by the inevitable turning. Man, yeah, whoever’s reading this, this card’s getting added to the runner’s up. It was a really tough series of choices this week.
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@haru-n-harkel​ — Passing of the Matrix
What an interesting card! I’m not sure what the Matrix is, but this card lets me show that it’s a mark of leadership, that it makes a creature legendary flavorfully, and that it’s not resigned to one generation. Not bad! You don’t need “target” in the first line, and don’t forget that when you do a quote, the name goes on a separate line.
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@hypexion​ — The Turning
Pretty sure there should be an emdash between 8 and WW, but I forget. Anyway, funky little card you got here. I’m not sure why it doesn’t have a mana cost flavorfully, but I get how it works mechanically. Good on you for the wording of the activated ability. I’m not sure how something “turning” begets the flavor of destruction, though? Also, yadda yadda quoter second line, you’ve heard me say it thrice up there.
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@ignorantturtlegaming​ — Yoshi’s Adventure
Well if this ain’t a flavor win if I ever saw one! Dinos, eggs, and humans. Really funky stuff. Three wording things. One: The second ability should be something more like “Whenever a Human you control dies, sacrifice ~.” Two: You don’t need to “Sacrifice an Egg you control,” just “Sacrifice an Egg.” Three: It should be “”This creature deals 2 damage to any target.”” instead of just “deal.” Other than that, great first submission.
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@illharg-the-rave-boar​ — Shutdown
Ah, sci-fi. One day we’ll get there in Magic. Anyway, this card! I think that you could have stapled the “End the turn” line to the previous one, but aside from that, I think this card is super cool, a good mythic for this day and age. Pretty fun in a midrange-control build. I know nothing about the game, but I like the feeling of a forced shutdown that you present. Probably the best example of the genre we could ask for.
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@juggernaut-is-a-metalhead — Blood and Thunder
This is a weird heckin’ card. The name and flavor text feel really disconnected from the abilities, though, which is a shame because mechanically this is an insane card that could be very fun in the right deck. The flavor the abilities present of “the world is breaking around me but with enough power I turn into a leviathan” is really awesome.
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@kavinika​ — Sadeas’s Betrayal
Let’s look at the card Sudden Disappearance. With that, I believe this spell could read “Exile all creatures you control.  Return the exiled cards to the battlefield under their owner's control at the beginning of the next end step. Then, destroy all creatures attacking a player or permanent other than you.” You don’t necessarily need the combat clause, but I understand how it could be useful to prevent just blinking. Maybe if it destroyed any number of target  attacking creatures?
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@koth-of-the-hammerpants — Holistic Assassination
9/10, but 1. Enchantments don’t tap, and 2. This feels like it would be very easy to abuse without a higher cost for returning it. Flavor’s interesting, card plays great, it’s a pain in the butt. Very fun.
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@mistershinyobject​ — Zulf’s Fate
Once again, you return creature cards from the graveyard to the battlefield. Wording aside, I really like the dichotomy of this card. It’s a gristly fate that you presented quite well. There’s not a lot to say because the card speaks for itself, and that’s a strength.
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@misterstingyjack​ — Shared Demise
I don’t really like the wording on this, as interesting as the concept is. I feel like it’s a bit much for one chunk of text. Maybe “fate counters” could work here? Like, when ~ enters the battlefield, put a fate counter on target creature, whenever a creature with a fate counter leaves the battlefield sacrifice enchanted creature, and when enchanted creature leaves the battlefield the fate counter creatures are sacrificed? I hope that makes sense. It’s hard to feel “clean” with the wording you have here.
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@nine-effing-hells​ — Hydraulic Salvation
Neat little name! I don’t think you need to add “if you do” to that second mode. And on a card like this, I wouldn’t add the flavor text. I really don’t think it’s strong enough to add anything to this card. Flavorful use of Miracle, though.
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@piecesofliquid — Tragic Reunion
This is a really cool card. Wording seems a little off, but you used flavor effectively to bring back two dueling characters. “You and target opponent each return up to one creature card from your graveyards to the battlefield. Those creatures gain vigilance, haste, and “etc.”” Great use of dual flavor text, even though I can’t quite tell who’s saying what. I don’t watch the show, thpt.
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@shakeszx — I Am Iron Man
I really like how we got two Iron Man submissions next to each other, lol. Two things: It should be “tap an UNTAPPED non-Legendary creature you control,” and you need a shuffle clause at the end of the whole thing. Great idea, funky flavor. Feels more like citizens summoning a legend, but I like the notion anyway. It’s very marvel. Could be RW.
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@shootingstarhunter​ — Inevitable Ultimatum
Having watched the movie, this card would have made more sense if it was an additional cost to sacrifice the legendary creature and it just destroyed all nonland permanents you didn’t control. Also, the flavor text should be in quotes. Aside from that, I really love this card. It’s an ultimatum that feels like an ultimatum. It’s appropriately costed and at the right rarity. So there we go!
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@snugz​ — Good King Moggle Mog XII
What a name. This is a frustrating and flavorfully annoying boss card that I can imagine an AI playing as kind of an Arena boss fight. Fourteen power for eight mana is... Well, it’s not the craziest thing Magic’s done in the past, but the fact that it repeats, man. 10/10 for cute and game capture feel.
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@sorustyitshines — The World Eater’s Ascent
I get that it’s an epic card, but “can’t be countered” isn’t really in the BW pie. Regardless, it’s a powerful boardwipe that, uh, doesn’t destroy enchantments for some reason? Not sure why, maybe it’s an in-game thing. Anyway, fine Commander card, good Evil Rise kinda thing. Overall interesting, but not my favorite in terms of execution.
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@starch255​ — Enter Star Wolf
“For each of them, create a token that’s a copy of that card, except...” I think is the right wording. At least that’s how I grok it. Funky little card! I love how you used black Vehicles to create the evil spaceship feel. It’s a good sci-fi trope to have vehicles. The “four” is also a nice touch.
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@teaxch​ — Claudius’s Plan
Now ain’t this tragic. Interesting card! I like how it only lasts for a turn, giving your opponent one turn to have the deathtouch brigade. Not sure exactly how a poisoned chalice gives EVERYTHING deathtouch, but what the hell, it’s Shakespearian, everything’s tragic, right? I think this card is pretty cool, would make limited fun.
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@thegreateyebrows​ — Khert Fire
Hm, that might have to be a replacement ability. “If a spell or ability would target a permanent or player, that spell targets a permanent or player chosen at random instead.” “Whenever a player casts a spell, if that spell has no target, Khert Fire deals 2 damage to that player.” It doesn’t really need vanishing. If there are any rules people out there, tell me if my wording is off.
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@tmstage​ — Cage the Traveler
This probably should be a rare for how niche the hate is, like Blood Moon, but the ability certainly feels mythic. I like this card a lot. I’ve never played destiny, but this card gives me stakes. There’s a “traveler,” akin to a planeswalker, and there’s something sapping them of their power, a primary antagonist with a goal and a mysterious identity. Bam, established. Not a bad job.
~
Thank you all for your entries! New contest tomorrow.
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inventors-fair · 4 years
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Ι wanna be the very best group commentary part1!
Part two of the group commentary coming out tomorrow and after that, the new challenge. Thanks for participating everybody! Have a good one!
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@i-am-the-one-who-wololoes The epitome of an aggressive 4drop, and a pretty fitting card for Entei. A solid design but lacked the wow factor.
Also repeating for everyone, the only time numbers appear in the text is A) for scying, B) life total modification (damage, gain, or payment.) or C) in  mechanics, like Support 3 (Put a +1/+1 counter on each of up to three other target creatures.)
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@Johnny ([email protected]) You guys reaaaally love Lugia, it was the most popular Pokemon in the contest. In this tri-colored approach, Lugia is a control powerhouse but I feel its overall power level outshadows the optional X part of the card. I don’t mind the additional option but I feel having Lugia on the battlefield sooner Vs holding on to it for a couple(?) of bounces is not a big dilemma.  
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@nine-effing-hells a quirky design fitting the gen1 glitch pokemon(?), I mean I don’t even know if it even counts as one, but either way..
The first time you cast this, you practically “draw” a card, and after that you can pay UB+2life to cast it again as a 3/3 creature that will draw you another card when it dies. I think it after this point, it becomes a threat that cannot be ignored and when it leaves the battlefield, you get another card and an even bigger threat for UB+2 life. I feel A) it’s too open-ended to deal with it, unless you are using pacifism, and B) it gets really big with 0 effort whatsoever.
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@reaperfromtheabyss For those unfamiliar with the games or the pokemon TCG, Mew often appears as the perfect copycat / jack of all trades and this design plays into this space, so I dig it! However, I feel like it needed freedom from the colored activations than limitation on the number of activations, since activated abilities require mana, tapping, sometimes sacrifices etc. I understand that the limitaion was for balance reasons, but you could be a bit more creative on that part. Maybe choose a color or creature type each turn to copy abilities from?
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@underflorenceisgay the very first submission for the fair! Deoxys was another favorite because there are many ways to approach its shifting nature. Here we see it as an Etb trigger. I love the pokemon tailored mechanic of switch in too, but like in games, you can’t switch in and out pokemon forever.. If you have two copies of this card, or pretty much any other blue pokemon, you can make a loop that can end up winnining with storm or a triggered effect like Impact Tremors.
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@aethernalstars Zygarde was a very ambitious design, but I feel you shot yourself in the leg by adding a lot of stuff. I want to both commend and “scold” you for the 1 drop’s abilities. I found the use and the passing of the haste counter super creative, but it serves no purpose for this card pair, as the two will end up fusing into a 10/10 attacker.
Also, the activated ability is oppressive, clunky and probably irrelevant when you have a huge beatstick with both trample and first strike. Mere creatures won’t be able to handle it either way.
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@mistershinyobject​ On first read, Silvally might pass on as quirky or unimpactful, but there’s a lot of strategic depth into its design. It’s graveyard hate, creature ping and also damage pumping all in one card. Combat math with Silvally on the battlefield is going to be hard for both players as long as there is mana to spare for multiple activations.
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@dominaaahria​ I find nothing negative about the direction of this primal Kyogre. It’s anti-red as one would expect, but I think it could be a little bit more than that.
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@gollumni​ This one of the two Eternatus designs of the challenge,  honestly it was a big surprise for me, cause it didn’t resonate with me like other legendaries. Eternatus is said to be the source/cause of the Gigamax phenomenon, and the activated ability does a good job conveying that!
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@worldwariotwo​ You were not the only one that jumped on the hype train and submitted your favourite pokemon instead of a legendary. We will probably do a challenge like this again so no need to worry. Got to say this is a very well made card and it is true to Torterra but sadly I couldn’t place it among the winners and runner ups.
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@horusiswatching​ Solid Melloeta design, can pack a lot of damage since you can attack and with the trigger on the stack you can pay 2 to transform her. The bounce ability of the backside is a bit wordy and it can be relevant in other players’ turns but I would prefer a simpler version.
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@juggernaut-is-a-metalhead Both Mewtwo designs we got had an anti-human element.. Prejudice like this is why we can’t have nice things XD On a more serious note, I like the direction it goes with mutate and it would make a great commander for Ikoria.
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