#there's no way i was forced to play clarinet from the ages of 9 to 15 for the fucking bit. it was for my education or something
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what if i said kevin day was one thousand million percent a piano kid growing up. what then
#aftg#the short answer for this is that i've been listening to classical music since 6am and i think i've fundamentally gone insane#the long answer is that i know nora was like the ravens only ever did exy#but like that is not a sustainable way to raise children you can't teach discipline with a contact sport#i'm not saying he liked it i'm maybe not even saying he was good at it#but yeah when kevin was like 12 some bitchass old woman who has never felt gods love in her heart made him sit still with his back straight#for hours on end and now he both hates tchaikovsky (correct of him) and also has really good attention to detail (also correct of him)#because learning music is very beneficial for children to like. learn how to make connections or something i dont remember the reasoning#but i swear this is a real thing#there's no way i was forced to play clarinet from the ages of 9 to 15 for the fucking bit. it was for my education or something#anyway i'm having a really normal morning#learned how to make brown sugar shaken espresso and i am abusing that new power to the extent of my ability#edit i did not mean to post this on main but it took too long to write this out i'm not rewriting it. deal with my insanity cowards
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ELLE FANNING / CIS FEMALE. — henrietta prophet is really making a name for themselves as a tier 6 shepherd. i think that she is studying economics + communications in their sophomore year at lockwood, living in omega mu. originally from darlington, south carolina, henri is known to be ritzy & magnetic, but can also be intractable & guileful. — james / 20 / est / she/they.
aaaaaand that’s 5/5 intros done !!! woo !! realizing tht henri’s might be my longest as well :/ sry abt that ... all of that just 2 say she’s chaotic evil n a liar ... god ... anyways !!
TW ANIMAL CRUELTY, VOMIT MENTION, BULLYING, VIOLENCE, HIT & RUN, MURDER, DEATH, BODY IMAGE.
a e s t h e t i c s
the struggling flicker of a diamond-encrusted lighter, puppy dog pouts and crocodile tears, a mother’s pearls and her earrings to match, tarnished tennis bracelets soaked in vinegar and baking soda, baby pink stiletto nails, baby pink stiletto heels, furs and leathers and snakeskins, body glitter, reapplying lip gloss three times within ten minutes, biographies of famous war generals, twelve rings and ten fingers, persistent nosebleeds, the twirl of a tennis skirt, swan imagery, marble floors and chandeliers, fuzzy sleeping masks, long sheer robes, each lock of blonde hair methodically curled, practicing expressions in the mirror, spinning many webs.
general info !!
full name: henrietta eloise prophet
nickname(s): henri, etta, hen.
b.o.d. - august 13th, 20 yrs old.
label(s): the baby doll, the hellion, the icarian, the minx, the prevaricator, etc.
height: 5′9″ n she’ll stomp you out with her hooves
hometown: darlington, south carolina
sexuality: mostly straight :// tragic. but she’s also chaotic evil so :/
pinterest
stats
biography !!
born in a city entirely too small for her, in a hospital in which she never cried in, and brought home to a four white columns exterior and a perfectly maintained lawn to two, normal, average, relatively well off but nowhere near millionaire status adults.
her father, william, was a simple man who has spent years climbing the ladder as a car parts salesman, only to stay stuck in the same position - same roll, same paycheck - for the past however many years. her mother, audrey, was an accountant at the same bank she visited as a child with her own mother, tiny fists balled up and tugging at the hem of her dress as she made withdraws.
there are no more prophet children, at least between william and audrey - henrietta’s an only child and a spoiled one at that. her parents showered her in gifts and affections - a desperate attempt to subdue her toddler terror years, a plan that worked most occasions.
she’d always been particularly bossy, particularly bratty - in her pink ribbon’d dresses and too puffy skirts, hands on hips and an awfully demanding voice to anyone that dared displease her - whether they were classmates, friends, family, teachers - waiters at restaurants, mommy and daddy’s coworkers. it had once been considered cute, in a way. nothing too concerning.
then she started ripping the wings off of butterflies, sticking them beside her eyes and prancing about - announcing herself the butterfly conqueror. not the butterfly queen, or princess - conqueror. vanquisher. defeater. victor. winner. champion.
she’d play by herself, often - partially in fault to the butterfly accident, which happened at another child’s birthday party - which had her dismissed early from the event, which had henrietta snatching back her carefully wrapped present (and a few, smaller bags - shoved right inside her barbie purse) and stomping out of the backyard.
it was easier to command an army of stuffed animals and barbie dolls than other people, but it hadn’t ever felt the same. playing pretend was never as good as actually doing. she minded being alone. hated it, despised it. so she’d learn to draw people in - small promises of homemade snacks and wearing her favorite tiara instead of herself - little white lies intended to draw people near and dear to her.
an awfully demanding, awfully conniving child whose personality only worsened as she got older. clawing at kids who wanted to be ‘queen’ at play time in kindergarten turned into getting sick, so very unfortunately, onto the dress of another girl for her third grade talent show who dared pick the same song as henrietta.
in middle school she became part of her school’s ‘peer mediator’ program - in which students deal with other student’s conflicts - a terrible, horrible idea. a terrible, horrible idea that henrietta had loved, fed off of. peers came to her, and days later - rumors were spread about the very people seeking comfort.
nothing has ever been off-limits to henrietta. if she wants it, she gets it.
history class entranced her - from the moment she had begun to learn about wars, she’d been obsessed. on her own, she’d research them - the strategies war generals had used, and which ones failed - which ones succeeded. she took the strategies to heart.
because henrietta had never felt like she’d been enough - not in a way that she loathed herself, no - henrietta loved herself. still does. but because her life had never felt enough - her parents were never enough, with all their affection - she always wanted more. more clothes, more toys, more friends, more control. more more more more more.
she always wanted to lead the narrative, to shape her own path - to shape other’s paths, always imagined things different - how she’d change things, if she could, whether they were classroom rules or real life situations. insatiable.
moved to rochester, new york the summer before her freshmen year at high school due to her father switching territories in a desperate attempt to up his paycheck. with her stained reputation ( known for biting classmates, throwing major tantrums, starting rumors, once gave the first clarinet chair bad sushi so she’d be sick during a winter concert in the 7th grade - leaving henri no choice but to take her place as best clarinet player, and other unsettling behaviors ) - henrietta thought it was an excellent decision.
spent the majority of that summer practicing how to speak without her southern drawl - it was cute, she’d admit, but far too predictable. never wanted to be known as a southern belle - just a gal with impeccable taste.
frequented new york city often within that time span, often with her dad’s credit card, and often buying well-made fakes so that she could build upon her identity as someone rich. someone important. someone influential. they couldn’t afford the real deal - so she made do, maxing their card along the way.
got introduced to the internet at a relatively young age, but she never utilized it in a way that benefited herself until she reached high school and realized she wanted to be bigger than big. better than all the girls older than her, a force to be reckon’d with.
got involved on kik in a bout of boredom and spoke to strangers often, mostly ridiculing them as she saw fit. made friends with a few - but enough of them to introduce her into a culture of scamming the creeps she’d run into on the app. how to promise them photos of herself and meet-ups, if only they sent a little bit of cash to aid her.
the money was good - but not consistent, and she’d only been so young - there was more to learn. she needed someone to teach her. and then she met tatiana samuels.
henri doted on tatiana, when they met. a few grades apart - tatiana was in her own world, a world that henri wanted in on - desperately.
she told tatiana many things - told everybody who would listen, many things. how her parents had died a few months previous ( & left her a hefty inheritance ) and she had moved in with her uncle, who she hated, and how she wanted to believe that there was still something good in the world after fate had been so cruel to her family.
tatiana took her under her wing. showed her the ropes, how to lure boys in and how to ignore the taste of certain liquors, and how to leave some stores wearing more layers than you had on going in.
henri still wanted more - and she had formed her own group of friends, twisted them around her finger so they’d never question her. still itched for something grand. something tatiana couldn’t give her. she could shoplift as much as she’d like, steal from her friends and seduce creeps online - but she was bored, and restless, and desperately trying to plan her next steps.
they stopped talking as frequently once tatiana had graduated - and then, they stopped speaking all together. this never bothered henri.
then during henri’s sophomore year came the whispers of something new. something that sparked her interest - something that she hadn’t been meant to overhear, but she had, and wanted in on.
watershed.
she wasn’t a coder, had no part in programming the app - she hadn’t even been one of the originals behind the app, just a girl in the right place at the right time - with the right ideas and the ability to be underestimated - an ability that was more often than not useful. it became another obsession of hers - much like wars, it captivated her interest.
she’s been involved with the app since 2016 - mostly out of self-interest, as she’s a girl with a lot of secrets, and a lot to lose.
the rest of high school was a blur - she’d gotten a lead in the musical after an unfortunate accident involving the lead, leaving her in a neck brace and henri, her dutiful understudy, to take on the role herself. a nasty rumor had spread about the head cheerleader during henri’s senior year - causing the girl to transfer and henri to take her place, as what was only right. both merely just coincidences that had worked in her favor.
( one fateful spring break, her senior year - henri and her gal pals had gone on a trip to california to shop, party, and celebrity hunt. all expenses paid via credit card. it was cut short after a particular accident which involved attempting to break into a celebrity’s home and fleeing the scene - henri taking the wheel and maybe, just maybe, committing an awful hit and run - and them all leaving to new york the next day. as far as those girls know - they were blackmailed into silence by someone on the app. and maybe henri has something to do with that, as well. )
lockwood was the obvious choice for her. tatiana died her freshmen year - and it was tragic, truthfully - and she shed a tear at her funeral, after all of it had been done, but no more than one, and no more after that.
personality !!
she’s an economics / communications major though she takes a lot of business / political / history related classes as well on the side. she likes to be well-rounded and educated.
still pretty obsessed w/ wars … has two twin balinese cats named napoleon & hannibal and they roam around omega mu.
a cheerleader, on the student government council, in debate, a newspaper writer, and in several sports (tennis, for one). she likes to be very involved - and likes to be very in control of what she’s involved in. needless to say she’s got a major role in each extracurricular of hers.
puts on a very kind, very friendly - helpful, maybe, if not a little eager to please personality. polite and the tiniest bit stern when it comes to school. she’ll walk you to your classes if you’re new, and leaves with fifty new facts about you while you know nearly nothing about her.
just … very clearly magnetic & charismatic & able to captivate and hold someone’s attention for a long while. rly charming :/ i guess :/ an interesting person to talk to b/c she always has a story to tell.
but she has motives for everything she does and it’s all an act - she’s very ambitious, very manipulative, and very well known for being just the opposite of that.
if anything - she tries to come off a little ditzy at times - a little giggly, while still retaining some semblance of elegance and respect. tries to radiate warmth without actually having to be so.
she’s often distant - very emotionally unavailable, none of her relationships have been long term - but there’s a lot of them, and if there is a social event then she will be there, undoubtedly, with a date on her arm.
learned from tatiana herself how to lead others on - she’s very good at making others feel important and like they have a place in her life - when henri often feels the opposite about them.
somehow manages to be seen doing charity work, or helping with fundraisers, and generally being a very involved student - whether it’s written in the college newspaper or photographed - without doing much work at all.
speaking of the college newspaper - she has an anonymous advice column where she gives purposely terrible advice under the guise of being something helpful, and well-meaning. her name is miss antoinette.
likes to be in control, and when it’s taken from her it’s always a shock - puts her on edge, and though she tries very hard to keep things under control, she’s frequently brimming with anger.
kind of person to scream when she’s alone - throws & breaks shit, a full out violent display - a tantrum meant for a toddler, in the body of a twenty year old.
the closer you become to her - or the closer you think you’re becoming - the more unsettling she seems to be. how unrealistic, almost. if you focus, you can start to pinpoint where her real laugh ends and her fake laugh begins.
has had … moments that were not her proudest - that involve her threatening someone with a sparkling pink pocket knife. mostly irritants, and after much provoking - and thankfully not in public.
she’s also incredibly stubborn - it’s near impossible to move her, or shift her opinion. always has to have her way and hates being told no.
looks out for only herself and no one else. if it comes down to it - she’ll gladly leave everybody else in the dust, especially if it means she advances.
very destructive - doesn’t hesitate to use gossip or rumors against others. has blackmailed others via the watershed app before, and will likely do so again. tends to end up using the things people tell her against them. very prone to guilt-tripping and turning tables.
her favorite color is pink & you won’t forget it. essentially evil elle woods. only wears shades of pink, and cream & white. & champagne & rose gold & metallics. will only resort to other colors in moments of absolute desperation - and even then, they’re always pastels.
big fan of fur and diamonds and pearls - everything finer in life. owns mostly designer items & flaunts them while trying to look like she’s not flaunting it.
like … she wears a lot of fur coats, and shawls ?? and dresses & skirts and heels, like she’s always dressed like she’s going to go to some big event sometime soon.
sleeps with an eye mask & a white noise machine. insists on getting 9 hours of sleep and will be incredibly grumpy without those 9 hours. spends a good amount of time on her skincare routine - like how in the marvelous ms. maisel, maisel would wake up before her husband to do her makeup and her hair and then go back to sleep right before he woke up ?? and how she’d measure herself constantly ?? that’s sort of how henrietta functions. cue american psycho morning routine monologue.
speaking of sleep … she has really weird n bizarre n frankly. just. off-putting dreams that feel like glimpses of a different reality but they just so happen to be her favorite part of her day. :/
is just … really obsessed with herself. huge ego - if she catches herself in the reflection of anything, whether it’s a window or a mirror, she’ll spend some time looking at herself for … longer than she should.
still has a nasty habit of scamming men online, though she’s delved into other websites & uses a few of the watershed functions to her benefit. pretty much constantly has money because of it.
very big into parties, though she tries her hardest to not go overboard. prefers to be able to make thought out decisions - though there have been times where she’s gone too far.
as i’m sure you can tell by now - henrietta is a very big liar. a hypocrite, too. will tell people not to do things for their best interest, then goes and does them. still tells people her parents are dead when they’re ?? very much alive ??
frankly just lies about her childhood a lot in general, even though it wasn’t terrible.
does this … thing … where if she catches wind that someone has lived close to her hometown she’ll :/ harass them on the watershed app and basically :/ just spread gossip about them until they’re firmly ostracized & away from her.
hooks up with quite a few guys but she has this … thing where she makes them think they’re special because she’s letting them sleep with her and she’s ‘very selective’ but frankly. she both is, and isn’t.
admittedly the jealous type, but also overall avoids catching feelings because she hates the distraction.
she has … emotions, somewhere, but she’s always been the type to bury them and pretend they don’t exist, even when she simultaneously acts like she does have them ??
just … a mess, overall !!
i’m sure there’s more abt her bt frankly i’m tired JSNDKFG
connections to the victims !!
tatiana samuels / her mentor. they met when henri was a freshmen in high school & tatiana was a senior, and tatiana was the one who showed henri the ropes. some of her best tricks are because of tatiana. they became distant after tatiana’s graduation, however.
george craig iii / close friends during high school, if only because of tatiana. but like her, their friendship also became distant once george had graduated high school and they hadn’t spoken much after that.
hana williams / one-sided hatred, henri hated hana and didn’t believe she was a genuine person due to hana’s outright cheerfulness. hana didn’t know this.
christoph wainwright / fellow shepherd, they knew each other almost exclusively through the app. he did her dirty work for her.
wanted connections !!
alright … friends. particularly friends who don’t suspect her to be anything other than who she portrays herself to be ( a very school-involved, well-rounded, friendly gal ).
but then … a close friend, near and dear to her, who has seen the considerably … worse parts of her, but not all of it. who knows that she’s not just another giggling gal pal - but not the full extent of it.
someone who just. gets on her nerves & annoys her to no end. someone she’s threatened with violence before.
fwbs & one night stands - casual hook-ups.
party buddies.
people she went to high school with & are familiar with her past involving tatiana.
someone from her childhood :/ just one person who knows that henri is not all sugar & spice.
others who are suspicious of henri’s supposedly good nature - whether they’ve witnessed something they shouldn’t have, or they think her vibes are off.
fellow shepherds. shepherds she’s using. any fellow tier 6s out there ??
teammates from tennis, or cheerleading.
or others involved in the same extracurriculars she’s in.
someone she’s manipulating for whatever reason. maybe multiple people.
full blown enemies where she just can’t hold back.
someone who is just as destructive as she is & they wreck havoc together when they’re off campus.
a good amount of her exes ?? nothing long term.
her dealers :/ mostly … weed & pills.
rly anything else !! whatever u want !! do it !!
#wshintro#animal cruelty tw#vomit mention#bullying tw#violence tw#hit and run tw#murder tw#death tw#body image tw
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Donner, Blizten, and Pooka
The traditional host for Billy and Zoë, DeviantArt, is being recalcitrant, so I’m posting it directly to my tumblr this year. If AO3 had a spot for original work, I’d use that just because I love how straightforward their system is. I should look for a better platform, I guess. But for now, this year’s is hosted on tumblr. (I don’t know why I never say Zoë and Billy. I guess it’s just that I’ve been saying their names in alphabetical order since 2002, and I’m not likely to start now.) This is actually an idea I've had since the first year I starting writing these, and I'm so glad I've finally done something with it.
This year’s story has a few instances of gruesome imagery, but no major triggers behind the obvious “character death”, as you know at least one character, be it recurring or otherwise, is going to be a dead one.
With no further ado, enjoy 2019′s addition to the Billy and Zoë universe.
(4940 words, 9 pages, several horror elements. Because it’s a freaken horror story.) Recomended audio accompaniment.
Donner, Blitzen and Pooka
No, this isn’t the same story as last year, just the same exposition
Billy and Zoë were always said to be good kids, not getting in fights, making the sports teams, honor roll, debate team, cheer squad, chorus and band. Both moderately popular jacks-of-all-trades, they managed to make prom king and queen even though they were just friends, and got scholarships to the same college. Billy played sports year round, but managed to talk about other things, mainly debating, singing or playing clarinet. Well, not when he was doing those things, as they involved his mouth. He had a tall, muscular build, his features seemingly mismatched. He had soccer legs and basketball feet, baseball arms on a football torso, which his head was thankfully not too small for, his white blond hair contrasting with his cheeks, which were always red for some reason, be it anger, embarrassment, or chill. Zoë’s body, however, seemed more perfectly constructed. Her complexion was warm and comforting like a cup of cocoa and she had shiny black hair, large brown eyes, long willowy arms and legs rippling with muscles and small, athletic breasts that did not get in the way when she cheered, played the flute, lacrosse, tennis or cricket. Both frequently smiled, especially when the life-long friends found out they were going to college together.
It was a bright, cold day, one of those days in mid-December when there’s finally what to Billy’s mind counted as an “adequate” amount of snow. It was just so hard for him to really get into the spirit of things when the weather looked less like a Christmas card and more like a whole lot of dead plants stuck together with asphalt. Why someone who went for a jog through the woods every morning before class was so excited about five inches of snow was beyond even Zoë’s understanding and also Billy’s ability to explain. The cold air just felt so… crunchy on his lungs. It sounded bizarre, even to Billy, but once he’d been going long enough that he didn’t feel too cold, running in the snow was so refreshing.
So, despite the fact that his cheeks looked like the entire cheer squad had slapped the shit out of him and there wasn’t exactly what one might call feeling in his fingers, Billy was in a very good mood. He turned away from the main road and jogged into what was charitably called the cross-country trail by the college track team. It kept the name mainly because very few people were wiling to reassess it. There was nothing quite like going over broken ground to get the blood pumping, Billy thought. He was immediately greeted by the smell of pine and the crunch of unbroken snow under his feet. He took it from the fact he couldn’t hear water trickling that the river had finally frozen over. He couldn’t see it from the trail, but from his previous morning jogs he knew that it ran parallel to the trail for about half a mile.
Some people asked him, and quite rightly, when exactly a first-year college student had found them time for a morning jog, but it was early in Billy’s athletic career when he learned how to have the “Why am I doing this? It’s way too cold out. It’s way too early. I hate every choice that led me to jogging in the snow.” during the first ten minutes of the jog itself instead of for a twenty minute block beforehand, so that saved a lot of time. It was all a matter of dedication and mind over matter. Also, he had dropped his 8:00 AM ethics lecture within the first month, so that gave him plenty of time. He could drop one course if it gave him enough energy for his other classes, this college had a notoriously high freshman drop-out rate, and Billy refused to be just another fresher who dropped off the face of the earth.
It was nice to have a jog into the thin strip of forest that the college seemed have bought to be a pleasant stripe of green forty feet in the background of the models in their early thirties wearing backpacks that came around about once a year to pose for photos that would make the college look more fun-loving and ethnically diverse on the website. It was one of the few places on campus that was far enough away from the Laundromat basement to not smell heavily of dollar-store Febreze knockoffs. Even on days when he had to substitute his morning job for an afternoon jog, because after all, no amount of Red Bull can hide the fact an all-nighter was all that stood between Billy and a “incomplete” assignment, especially not if you were the teacher’s aide who had to read the damn thing; Billy almost never saw any other students or faculty on his jogs. Unless, of course, you counted the caretaker’s distressingly fat Maine Coon a part of the faculty, but Billy had only encountered one student who was willing to argue Timmers worked for the college, and that person was a third-year law student who had just smoked a bag of marijuana so large Billy honestly wondered if it was now available at Costco.
The fact of the matter was that Billy had never seen another human walking the cross-country trail at eight in the morning, so when a slender figure stepped out from between the trees Billy let out a manly exclamation of surprise that he would insist did not sound remotely like a three-year-old girl stepping on the tail of a cat of the same age. Fortunately, that slim figure was Zoë, and she’d been friends with him long enough that there was no point in trying to fake having dignity in that moment.
“Zoë!” Billy exclaimed, deeper than his previous scream but still high enough that he took a moment to cough and compose himself before he continued, “What are you trying to do, give me a heart attack?”
“I don’t want to hurt you,” Zoë said urgently, which is never a good way to start a conversation. She held out her hands in that position people usually only take if they’re trying to calm down someone who is on the verge of throwing a fit or if they’re pretending to tame a flock of velociraptors.
“You look like hell,” said Billy, which was true. She was still wearing the outfit she had been the night before, but appeared to have taken her morning shower anyway. Water dripped miserably out of her sweatshirt and dribbled down her leggings, her long black hair plastered to her face in a single black, tattered sheet. Her makeup ran down her face in long black streams that made her eyes look large and hollow, and heavy brown stripes that showed thin strips of bluish-pale skin between them.
Despite knowing as little about makeup as he could manage, Billy was aware that Zoë was not exactly a beauty vlogger and her usual approach to makeup involved pulling random tubes of liquid out of her coat pockets and saying things like, “Oh shit. I’ll just blend it out I guess.” or “Or don’t look at me! Don’t look at my eyes, I hate this, I guess I’m just catwoman now!” or “I guess that’s what blotting is for.” Somehow seeing it running off her face made it look more dramatic and distorting to her features, rather than “I’m a woman performing a musical recital and if I do not rub something on my face it will appear from where the audience is sitting that I have rubbed something on my face, but in a way I do not want.” That was definitely not the effect it was creating now; now it looked like something had tried to rub her face off her head.
Billy thought that he could see faint white etching of frost forming on her hands and up her neck, but he was fairly sure that was an optical illusion caused by the thin light through the branches and the part of his sock that melted snow had now soaked through sending a “it’s too cold out here to be alive” message every few seconds.
“Billy.” Zoë said urgently. She stumbled forward, her legs seemingly unwilling to bend properly. Her hand grasped his shoulder, so cold he inhaled sharply with pain. It was like the mere touch of her skin on the fabric of his sweatshirt was actively stabbing him through to the bone with knives so cold his flesh stuck to the blade like lips on cold metal. She looked into his eyes and he shuddered again. There was something wrong with her eyes, they looked concave, like the eyes on fish that has no business being still sold as edible at that age.
With apparent effort, Zoë forced out another four words. Though the phrase was short, each word was spoken with the slow intensity of someone fighting both the urge to scream in someone’s face and the urge to collapse with exhaustion. Billy was far too distressed by the state of his friend to notice that, as thin and breathy as her voice was, she didn’t inhale before speaking.
“Leave the reindeer alone.”
Startled and not yet getting a concept out of what Zoë had just said, Billy pulled away from her instinctively. He tried to parse out a meaning from her statement, but with only half of a mind on the subject, as the rest of his mind was taken up by worrying about what Zoë had done to get in that condition, it seemed meaningless.
“What happened to you?” Billy asked, trying to fight his urge to recoil and losing. Zoë simply shook her head and began to back away. Okay, she was clearly not in a state to discuss it, maybe once she had warmed up and was in a safe place and dry clothes he, or maybe a therapist, could get her to talk about what had happened. Billy didn’t like the idea of that, he was bad at giving emotional support and would much rather hurt whoever hurt his friend. To be honest, he didn’t have any experience fighting someone physically, but he was very big and muscular and thought he had pretty good odds beating up someone if he had to. After all, he was motivated, and more importantly, he was eighteen, and eighteen year olds have an inflated concept of their ability to come out on top in a fight.
Someone had hurt his best friend and he needed her well enough to tell him who it was before he beat the tar out of them. That meant getting her inside immediately. She probably already had hypothermia, based on the fact it was late December and she was dripping wet.
“Let’s get you inside.” said Billy, taking a cautious step towards Zoë. She drew further back, stepping over a fallen branch without taking her eyes off of Billy. He put up his hands as unthreateningly as possible.
“You’re going to be okay.” he insisted, moving closer. Zoë shook her head, she looked like she might burst into tears at any moment, but god what was wrong with her eyes? Every time Billy tried to make eye contact with her, he felt something deep inside himself forcing him to look away before he figured out what he was looking away from.
“Leave the reindeer alone.” Zoë repeated, her voice low and urgent. Billy lifted his hand, and much quicker than he would have expected, she spun around and walked briskly back into the woods. He broke off into a run after her. Cross-country it was. While it seemed that every branch in the forest was trying to high-five his face, Zoë moved forward quickly without appearing to be impeded by the woods at in the least. Branches cracked loudly as he pushed by them, snow crunched beneath his soaking wet sneakers, his breath came in long ragged gasps as he ran. Strangely, it seemed like the only noises in the forest were the ones Billy was making himself.
“Zoë!” Billy cried out, not expecting her to react but desperately wanting a noise to blot out the awful silence around him. She didn’t appear to hear him at all, and she certainly didn’t call back. Zoë made no sound. Not even the woods made a sound, no birds chirping or squirrels chittering threats to animals fifty times their size, no distant sounds of other students waking up in the campus just beyond the trees.
Billy had no idea how she managed to walk that fast, but at least it meant she was doing better than she looked like, he wouldn’t have expected someone who looked as bad as she did to be able to walk at all. He should have caught up to her by now, Billy thought, pressing on with a fresh gust of effort, but she seemed to only get further away the more he ran. He ignored the pain and the wet and the branches lashing out at him, not daring to take his eyes off of Zoë least he lose sight of her. She was getting harder to follow, her wet gray sweatshirt blending into the shadows between the trees. She moved silently behind a tree and failed to emerge from the other side. Billy blinked furiously and forced himself forward a few more yards, as his mind argued between the two ideas that if she stopped behind that tree, he could catch up, and the fact that tree was too young and thin to hide a toaster behind it, much less a teenage girl. He grabbed onto the tree when he reached it, more to stop himself from falling facelong into the snow than anything else.
Bent over double, face red as plastic holly, Billy gave up on catching Zoë and tried to catch his breath instead. He was fast enough on the sports field, but he knew that in a footrace Zoë could overtake him nine times out of ten. The tenth time Billy wasn’t sure if Zoë was just sick of being asked to a rematch and let him win one. She was shorter, but had much longer strides than he did. Billy pressed his eyes closed and cursed himself internally for not thinking of this sooner. No one went off the trail in these woods, she could run as fast as she could, but her footprints would still lead Billy to wherever she stopped.
He opened his eyes but didn’t straighten up. He looked at the snow. Billy wasn’t much of a tracker, but he could tell the difference between four inches of untouched snow and snow someone had just walked through. He was so sure she had been standing just here when he lost sight of her, that this was the tree she had darted behind. He glared at the tree accusingly, as if it were the tree’s fault that he lost track of her. Taking a deep breath, Billy drew up to his full height and looked around. Behind him, there was a distinct path he had been crashing along as he chased her, but aside from that Billy had no indication of where he was. He inhaled deeply, and the cold air was like daggers on his heaving lungs. How could he had been enjoying the weather less than half an hour ago? It was less than half an hour, wasn’t it? How long had he been running through the woods? He might not have been used to running between trees but he was still exhausted. He even didn’t feel this tired at the end of a football match, so how long had he been in the woods? He looked around, trying to remember which way the shadows were falling when he started his run, less to guess at how long he’d been out there and more to see if he’d gotten turned around. He must have done, Billy reasoned, as the woods weren’t that deep. It was just a strip of young trees between the quad and the river, wasn’t it? He should have been able to see at least one of them from any point in the woods.
Finally, Billy’s eyes fell on something other than glittering white snow and twisted branches. In the snow, not far from him, the trees thinned enough that there was what should have been another stretch of unbroken snow. But this snow had fresh tracks left in it. Sadly, he could tell in a moment that these were the tracks of an animal, not Zoë, but they were so odd that for a moment, Zoë flew from his mind. They were large, but delicate and round, cleft in the middle like a deer but with two dots behind them. Part of Billy thought that they looked a little like rabbit ears with little round eyes under them, but he had as little experience with rabbits as with deer.
The strange thing about the prints is that they started in the very center of the clearing and moved out into the deeper woods, like some giant hand had placed the animal delicately in the center of the clearing and let it wander away. Billy put that thought out of his mind, because it was ridiculous, it was creeping him out, and if the animal had held still while the snow started to fall that could have covered its tracks. Probably. Not that it had snowed in the past week, but Billy put this out of his mind and moved closer to the tracks.
These tracks were broad and easy to follow, even with him churning up the snow beside them as he traced their path. He asked himself why he was following these tracks when Zoë was clearly in danger of something, but he found himself reluctant to give up on them and look for signs of someone who hadn’t left any tracks he could follow until this point. There was a movement at the edge of his vision, and Billy began moving towards it before he fully looked up. Maybe these tracks had lead him to Zoë after all. There was something grey moving between the trees, and his heart shot up in his chest with hope, failing to quiet down appropriately when he saw whatever it was it was far too large to be Zoë. And whatever it was, it was moving towards him.
Billy held still for a moment, not daring to move lest whatever it was spook as easily as Zoë did. Maybe it was her, after all, and she was just much closer than he thought she was. No. It was coming out of the trees now, it was looking at him, and it was clearly what left the hoofmarks.
As he had been conscious the past few years, Billy was aware of the movie Frozen and was able to think “Yeah, I guess that looks like the reindeer owned by dude who people keep saying I look like, so I guess that’s what reindeer look like.” despite the fact a small part of him had until this point always pictured reindeer as looking more like Bambi than Sven. Whatever it was, it was wearing a bright red bridle so it was clearly tame. Also, he rationalized, a wild animal wouldn’t be happily trotting up to a human it had never seen before.
“Hey.” said Billy weakly, holding up his hand and immediately feeling stupid for doing so. The reindeer cocked its head and trotted forward a few more steps.
“I, uh, don’t have anything…” Billy said quickly, patting down his pockets. A reindeer with a bridle walking up to a random human was definitely something that had broken out of a petting zoo. That would account for why the red bridle covered in round brass bells.
“I know.”
Billy blinked hard and cocked his head. The reindeer looked down at him. Billy had really not expected reindeers to be this big, but that didn’t account for where the voice came from.
“Who’s there?” asked Billy, looking around.
“I am.” said the reindeer. Billy hadn’t caught its mouth moving but that was definitely where the sound was coming from. He took in the bizarre appearance of the enormous creature. It’s antlers seemed to branch up forever into the trees, its thick creamy-white mane shook gently with every breath. Thick white and brown fur covered powerful muscles and the smell coming off of it was like nothing Billy had ever experienced. Because he was watching it so closely, he could see the dark, furry lips form the words, “You’ve lost your friend.”
It wasn’t a question.
Mind racing, Billy desperately tried to figure out what the appropriate thing to do in this situation was. Either he was losing his mind, in which case what he did next didn’t really matter, or a reindeer was talking to him.
“Do you know where Zoë is?” Billy asked carefully. The animal smiled. It’s mouth wasn’t suited for it, and there was something very odd about the teeth.
“I can take you to her.” the reindeer replied.
This was weird. There was no getting around that. He had just found a talking reindeer in woods that were much, much bigger than they were on the outside, but the important thing was that Zoë was still missing.
“I promise,” the reindeer said slowly, with a warm and husky voice. Billy couldn’t quite understand how the animal’s lips were forming English sentences, but they were definitely moving in time with the speech. Tentatively, Billy reached forward and touched the animal’s head. Warmth immediately flooded into his hand, and the reindeer rubbed against it affectionately. It reminded Billy how cold he was, and suddenly all he wanted was to bury himself in the animal’s fur and start feeling his fingers again.
“I promise to bring you to Zoë.” the reindeer repeated. Billy flexed his cold fingers. If he was this cold, then Zoë, soaking wet and turning blue, needed help now. The last doubt out of his mind, Billy moved to the reindeer’s side and tried to figure out the fastest way to get up it. Steeling himself, he took a firm hold of the red bridle and swung his weight up on the animal’s back with all his might. He got a leg over and pulled himself into a balance, and it seemed to him that the reindeer flexed its muscles to settle him more firmly astride itself. Warmth flooded up into Billy from the thick, shaggy fur.
For a moment, there was nothing but the stillness of the woods and the ragged warm fur beneath Billy’s hands. Neither of them moved. Then, he heard the animal’s voice again.
“Dear god, you are stupid.” said the reindeer.
Before Billy had fully registered what the reindeer had said, the thick, warm fur wriggled around his hands like maggots eating a corpse and tightened onto every part of him it could grab. Like thick cords, the fur wrapped itself around his fingers, his wrists, and up his arms. A sickening thought crushed the air out Billy’s lungs: This was not a reindeer. Billy knew almost nothing about reindeer but this was not a reindeer and it never had been one.
The reindeer arched this neck back and laughed, its mouth opening at entirely the wrong angle and showing entirely the wrong set of teeth. It was as if someone had transplanted a wolf’s mouth into a reindeer’s head, but did it wrong so that the mouth could open up to an obtuse angle. A long, horrible tongue rolled past the fangs and writhed in the air like a dying snake as the creature snarled out a sickening noise that was slightly an agonised screech but mostly a cruel laugh.
Billy became aware of the fact he was screaming and probably had been since the fur moved. The creature’s laughter rang through the icy woods, echoing and shattering icicles off the trees. The animal reared, and Billy hoped for a moment it would throw him off but the fur moved like snakes, rooting him firmly to the spot.
Then it ran.
Ice-encased branches whipped across his face, but could not dislodge him even when he pulled with the force. The forest was still morning-bright, the sunlight cracking through the branches and casting a thousand periwinkle-blue shadows dancing around the snow like dying spiders. The not-a-deer’s hooves passed over the landscape, sending a flurry of snow in its wake.
Before them, the woods appeared to finally thin. They were reaching the edge of the woods, and a last gasp of hope awoke in Billy’s chest. If they got out of the woods, would the not-a-deer let him go? Was that it’s plan all along? Sunlight danced on the ice, and Billy’s breath caught in his throat. He knew what the thing’s destination was. He threw himself as hard to the left as he could, but something… momentum? The twisting fur? The sheer will of the creature? Righted him again. There was nothing Billy could do.
They were heading right for the river.
With a leap, the not-a-deer broke out of the woods, hanging in the air for a moment, the icy surface of the river sparkling beneath them like a delicate spun glass sheet.
“The ice!” Billy screamed. “It won’t hold us!” But even as he wailed these words, Billy knew that was exactly the idea. The crash of hooves meeting ice was enormous, but even that was drowned out by the sickly crack of the ice’s surface giving way. Billy’s last scream was cut off as the water hit him; he couldn’t breathe, he couldn’t move, all he felt was the water shredding icy cold through his whole body, it felt like even his heart forgot to beat.
Billy knew he was going to die. He would probably drown before he froze to death, and all that was left to do was decide if he was going to die with his eyes closed or not. It was the only choice he had left in this world. Billy forced his eyes open against the icy water. At what he saw, he almost wished he hadn’t.
Zoë’s body floated unfettered mere yards away from him. Her eyes were closed, her skin was discolored, and her hair floated around her face like smoke. Blood cut red streamers in the water from where something with a large mouth and sharp teeth had removed a chunk of her leg. But still, he could see it was just a taste missing. This was where the thing took it’s meals. This was not a dinner table, this was a larder. This was were the thing brought it’s meat to eat slowly over the long, cold winter.
There was something else in the water, something small and moving towards him. It didn’t swim, it didn’t float, it merely stood upright in the water, pulled ever closer to Billy by some unseen force. It was also Zoë. But it was Zoë as he saw her in the woods before this all started. She was underwater with him, but water dripped off her heavily, tears rolled down her cheeks from her sunken, lifeless eyes. Billy knew no sound could carry through water, so when he heard Zoë speak, he knew she wasn’t using her mouth to do it.
“I told you.” said Zoë’s ghost, her voice trembling. “I told you.”
Billy couldn’t respond, his lungs full of water, but his last thought as the cold and the water and the shock drained what little life was left in him, was this:
I found Zoë after all. I found her.
Above the surface, the ice rocked gently and slowed in its movements. The world was quiet, but after a few moments, one finch let out a tentative twitter. The silence of the wood was broken. The thing had fed once again. A few more animals dared to start moving. What appeared to be a small clump of leaves stood up and stretched its back. Timmers shook snow out of his fluffy mane and trotted delicately to the edge of the river. Humans were so horribly predictable: they see an animal and automatically assume it’s there for their benefit. Timmers had long since stopped trying to warn the students about the pooka himself, no amount of purring around their ankles or hissing and charging from the woods or growling ominously at the river seemed to do any good. Every human who had gone to the river had met the pooka and every human who met the pooka were drowned by it.
Timmers thought that this time, leading a real human with a real voice, even if they were a ghost at the moment, to the next victim would have some effect. The plan had almost worked perfectly: the ghost had spoken to her friend, the human was warned, and he still jumped on the reindeer the first chance he got. Timmers stretched out his body in the feline equivalent of a sigh of resignation and turned back to the caretaker’s cottage, where a tin of good wet food and an army blanket twisted into a turban-like affair waited for him in front of the electric heater, Timmers’ salary for his important work on campus, even if no one bothered to listen to him.
There was just no helping humans.
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1. Do you bite or lick ice cream? Both
2. What is home to you? Anywhere with my loved ones
3. What was the last lie you told? Definitely something minor, I just can’t remember it.
4. Does everyone deserve the truth? That’s a good question. I guess if an individual seeks/demands the truth then they deserve it.
5. What is the creepiest toy ever made? FUCKING FURBY
6. Describe a moment in which you did something unacceptable in a bad situation. Where do I even begin?
7. List two things that are more easily done than said. (No, I didn't mix them up.) Getting out of bed in the morning is actually much easier than I make it out to be. Yet I lay there for ages beforehand agonizing and dreading it. The same goes for working out and going to the gym. It’s all the lead-up that’s worse than the activity itself.
8. When was the last time you worked really hard to achieve something? Several months ago I was doing some intensive therapy and EMDR to detach myself from traumatic memories.
9. How many all nighters have you pulled? I’ve never counted, but not many. I love sleep too much.
10. If humans didn't evolve to laugh or smile, how would we express our happiness instead? Hand gestures maybe? Clapping? Jumping up and down?
11. How many romantic "things" or "flings" have you had? Again, I’ve never counted. I will say I’ve had far more “flings” than actual relationships though.
12. What is your paradise? Laying in bed next to my honey, a breeze from an open window chills the room but we’re cozy under the comforter. Our favorite candle is lit (Winter White Woods), and we’re silently reading our books, setting them down only to occasionally sneak a kiss. It’s my personal heaven.
13. What is your favorite background noise? (Ex. Water dripping, people talking.) Certainly NEITHER one of those, as they both drive me crazy. I like consistent white noise from a fan or AC or something.
14. How many hearts do you think you have broken? Beats me.
15. What is the most important thing about electronics? What does this say about you? I don’t understand the question
16. Why do people care about celebrities? Do you care about celebrities? Because they’re wealthier and more attractive than any average person could ever hope to be, and as a society, we prize those qualities. I also think many of us find it to fun to fantasize or live vicariously through beautiful, rich people. And to answer the second part of the question, I do care about celebrities but I try not to conceptualize them and remind myself that they’re still people.
17. What is the most annoying thing someone can do to you? Walk slowly in front of me in a store/other public place.
18. Do you overexaggerate? What are the pros and cons of this? I sure do, but I’m working on it. I can be dramatic at times... The pros of this are that situations that worry me are never as bad as I envision them to be. But alternatively, that means things I hype up in my head aren’t as great as I imagine either.
19. Have you played any instruments before? Which instruments? Well I think every child in American public schools is forced to learn the recorder at some point. After that, I played the clarinet for a few years. Then as a teenager, I took “guitar lessons” with a friend of mine but we never did much guitar playing....
20. Do you like taking selfies? Why or why not? I do! I prefer them to any other type of photo because I can control how I look in a selfie.
21. List 3 things you like about yourself? My friendliness, my empathy, my neatness/organization.
22. What is the best advice someone has ever given you? I’ve been given lots of great advice over the years. I’m just bad at thinking on the spot...
23. Do you have what it takes to raise a child? Why or why not? I feel that I do. I have a very strong maternal nature, I love babies/children and I have a lot of experience caring for them. Of course, I know *raising* a child is much different than simply feeding/changing/playing, but I believe much of that is a “learn as you go” type of deal.
24. How do you cheer yourself up after a bad day? Cleaning helps me relax and feel better about my life. I also love taking hot baths, journaling, reading, vegging out in front of the TV or enjoying a glass of wine or two.
25. When was the last time you felt awkward? The day I was born and I haven’t stopped since
26. Are you introverted or extroverted? Or a mixture of both? I’m introverted in the sense that I value quiet and solitude, and I feel most at peace when I’m alone. But I have good social skills and (I think) I’m better at interacting with other people than most self-professed introverts.
27. What constitutes a good friend? Loyalty, honesty, established trust. Similar interests and sense of humor are important too, IMO.
28. Would you rather have a lot of friends to hang out with or just one best friend? Just one best friend
29. In a regular day, what do you not want to hear? Donald Trump, or anything related to him.
30. What is your dream job? Writer
31. Is it better to be lazy but smart or hardworking but unintelligent? I like this question! There are success stories from both ends of the spectrum. The optimist in me wants to believe that hard work and grit will take you further than any natural talent will, and in many cases, this is true. However, I also believe in a “work smarter, not harder” approach. Sometimes cutting corners and accomplishing tasks in a more “lazy” way is more innovative.
32. What is a truth about yourself that others find hard to believe? I’m not an animal person at all. I think because I’m a vegetarian and because I just have a sensitive, compassionate nature, people assume I’m an animal lover. In truth, I’d like most animals to keep their distance from me.
33. What have you always wondered about the other gender? E v e r y t h i n g.
34. Which fantasy world would you like to visit the most? Wonderland
35. Describe the worst friend you have ever befriended. No thank you. Not worth the time.
36. Imagine that you have switched bodies with someone you don't know. You can't switch back. What do you do? That depends entirely on whose body I get.
37. If you found the recipe for immortality, would you sell it or would you burn it? Sell it. I’m poor.
38. What is the most important, applicable class you have ever taken? The most formative class I can remember was 10th grade Advanced English. Prior to that, I was a bookworm and always excelled at reading comprehension in school. But it wasn’t until this class that I learned to deeply and critically analyze texts. To recognize the significance of a single word. To appreciate the power of just one detail of a scene or a story. It was in this class that I realized no element of a text is insignificant.
39. Name the last book you read. Currently reading “The Favorite Daughter” by Patti Callahan Henry
40. Imagine that you are unable to express emotion. How would this affect your world? I’m an exceptionally emotional person so everything about my life would change. Everything!
41. When was the last time you made the first move? Almost never. It’s just not my style.
42. What is your opinion on electronic music such as dubstep or trap? It’s not my taste
43. What was the last movie you watched? I truly can’t remember
44. Do you like and appreciate your life? I do!
45. Do you like and appreciate yourself? Again, I do!
46. When was the last time you cried? Couple days ago
47. What are you scared of? Almost everything
48. What is the most embarrassing, cringe-worthy thing you have ever done? I’m not going there...
49. What are some of your hobbies? Reading, writing, crafting
50. What is a superficial yet annoying mistake you constantly make? I mess up pronouns in conversation a lot. If I’m talking about 2 or more people, I might mistakenly interchange their pronouns.
51. Are you a good friend? What makes you a good friend? If not, what makes you a bad friend? I like to think so. Sometimes I’m maybe more distant than I should be and I’m usually not the person to arrange plans. But still, I’m reliable and loyal and I’m always available to lend an ear.
52. Do you honestly learn from your mistakes? NOPE ha ha ha.
53. What have you learned the hard way? Most lessons
54. What is the most important thing to have in order to attain happiness? Love. Whether it’s from family, friends or a SO. I need to know I’m loved, appreciated and supported.
55. Which medium do you use for expressing your artistic emotions? (Singing, writing, etc.) I’m a writer, so the written word is my preferred and most used medium. But I like to dabble in other art forms too: painting, drawing, crafts. And I sing A LOT, which could arguable be a form of emotional expression.
56. Are you a creative or a logical thinker? Creative
57. What is the smartest thing you have ever done? Enroll in therapy
58. What is your ideal meal? Mexican or Mediterranean
59. What is the worst thing someone could do on a date? Tell me he voted for Trump or really anything of that nature.
60. Do you like animals? Which kind is your favorite? A very select few. I love rabbits, deer, goats, cats. That might be it...
61. If you could turn one legal thing illegal, what would it be? Those hidden fees when buying concert tickets online
62. Do you have any guilty pleasures? Fast food. Really any kind of cheap, junk food that’s void of any nutritional value but tastes so fucking good I can’t resist.
63. What is the best thing that the internet has ever created? Road work ahead? Uh yeah, I sure hope it does.
64. Do you like playing video games? Which video games? No, I was never into them.
65. What is your opinion on beauty in today's society? I’m very happy to see beauty ideals (slowly) expanding to be more inclusive. But we still have a long ways to go
66. Are you a morning person? When do you usually wake up? Well 3/5 days of my work week require me to be up at 5:30 am. I usually cry and cringe when my alarm goes off, and sometimes continue to cry and cringe through my entire morning routine. But I often feel better once I get to work, and I like the idea of having the whole day ahead of me. Sometimes it’s nice being awake before most of the world.
67. Do you have a favorite Disney movie? Character? Anyone who knows me knows I’m all about Sleeping Beauty/Princess Aurora. I actually love all Princess movies. Oh, and Toy Story. I live for Toy Story.
68. Would you rather live in the city or in the countryside? The city, I like the convenience of walking anywhere I need to go and/or using public transport. As a non-driver, it’s pretty crucial for me.
69. Would you rather live near the ocean or in the mountains? The ocean, I suppose. Though neither of those options really speak to me.
70. What are the best things about winter? COZINESS. I’m talking fireplaces, fuzzy slippers, cozy jammies, lots and lots of blankets!
71. What scares you most about the future? The uncertainty of it.
72. What makes you feel old? Modern slang. I have no idea what “kids these days” are saying, and I feel like such a loser when I try to use trendy lingo in conversation.
73. How many hours do you spend on the computer or phone on average? Majority of my day
74. What are some of your New Year's resolutions? I don’t make them
75. What is your life story in 6 words? Making it up as I go.
76. Describe yourself in one word. Emotional
77. What bad habits do you do? Worrying, over-thinking, obsessing
78. What genre of music do you listen to? A variety. But most of my favorites could be categorized somewhere in the realm of rock/alternative/pop rock/soft rock.
79. Most prominent childhood memory? My earliest memory was the birth of my sister, one day before my third birthday. And I would say it’s one of, if not the most, important memory of mine, considering her significance in my life and the bond we share.
80. Imagine if you had an older brother. If you already have one, what is it like? If you don't, how would this change your life? I only have sisters, so my life would be VASTLY different if I had a brother. I learned a great deal from my older sister, none of which would’ve been possible if she were a boy.
81. Spirit animal? Deer
82. Do you believe in horoscopes? To an extent. I think they’re entertaining more than anything, and I do believe they can be used as a tool for self-reflection, goal setting, inspiration etc.
83. What is the worst advice you've ever been given? Hmm...
84. List the 3 most important people in your life right now. I’m gonna say “my babies:” Hannah, Aubrie and Samantha.
85. Favorite memory of your family. Oh there are too many to list! It’s never a dull moment when we’re together...
86. What do you look for in a relationship? Passion
87. Do you have a role model? Why or why not? Several
88. What is your opinion on social media? I’m a fan, but I try to limit my usage or at least be mindful of what I’m consuming.
89. Are you a pessimist or an optimist? Realist?
90. List some things that you think are overpriced? Medications of all kinds, feminine products or anything marketed specifically to women, vegetarian foods...
91. What is your worst memory or creepiest experience? I don’t wanna go there
92. What superpower would ruin the world? Mind-reading would cause a lot of issues I’m sure.
93. What is something you swore you would never do when you grew up, but you did anyway? I can’t really think of anything
95. If you could travel anywhere, where would you go? Poland or Iceland
96. How do you approach people? That depends on the situation and environment but usually with a “hello” and a smile.
97. What is your opinion on first impressions? I don’t believe they’re always correct. We all have off days.
98. What are some things you did as a child that you no longer do? I did a lot more outdoor activities as a kid than I do now.
99. What languages can you speak? English, a little Polish.
100. What do you think society will be like in 30 years? I’d like to say I can’t imagine it much worse than it is now but I’m not gonna tempt fate
101. What do you do on your lazy days? Sleep late, stay in bed most of the day, sloth around.
102. What ended your last relationship? He ended it, although I should have. We had too many differences that made a healthy relationship nearly impossible. And he was emotionally abusive, insulting and manipulative.
103. Favorite food? Mexican or Mediterranean. I feel like I already answered this, no?
104. What is the most terrifying dream you've ever had? .....
105. When was the last time you got seriously angry? I don’t get angry often. I get sad and upset, but not necessarily mad.
106. What was the last friendship you broke? I can’t recall
107. Do you have any pet peeves? Several
108. Who was the last person you gave a hug to? A client this morning
109. When was the last time you got seriously stressed? I’m easily stressed so, every day.
110. What part of your personality do you want to change? My anxiety
111. Who is the most positively influential person in your life right now? My friends and boyfriend are all equally influential
112. What is your biggest motivation? Making my family proud
113. What did you want to be when you were little? An author/illustrator
114. What are some things that you are good at? Writing
115. What is one thing you want to be good at? Singing. I’m not bad, but I’d like to be *good*
116. What distracts you the most, especially when you're trying to work? THESE
117. How important is privacy to you? Quite important. Nothing bothers me more than invasive, prying people.
118. If you could create one social norm, what would it be? Kindness
119. What's the craziest lie you've ever told? Uh... probably some ridiculous story I made up while drunk
120. What story do you like to tell about yourself at parties? I don’t have a “go-to”
122. What is the stupidest thing you've done to impress someone? Nothing comes to mind
123. What is your morning routine? It depends on the day. Ideally, I get up and have a nice cup of tea and ease into my day. But more often than not, I hit snooze a hundred times and then end up rushing out the door with my hair unbrushed and my shoes barely on.
124. What's the last thing you did that is worth remembering? It’s all worth remembering
125. If karma was coming back to you, would it help or hurt you? Help. I think...
126. What is your opinion on playing "hard to get?" It’s not my game
127. What are the pros and cons of straightforward? Honesty is great, but sometimes it can mean hurt feelings. But it’s possible to be truthful while still polite.
128. What do you consider "leading" someone on? Making plans with no follow-through, flirting with no actual intentions of taking things further (with the knowledge that the other party *would* like that). I don’t know though, I think often men accuse women of “leading them on” when they’re really not.
129. Are you the friendzoner or the friendzoned? I don’t believe in the friend zone
130. What do you admire most about your friends? Their loyalty to me and refusal to give up on me
131. What do you admire most about your family? See above
132. What is your opinion on "going with the flow?" It’s not my forte
133. Do you enjoy talking or listening? A healthy combination of both
134. When is it time to end a friendship? When it’s no longer serving you or providing anything positive to your life
135. What is the worst excuse you've ever come up with? I’d have to think about that
136. If GPA didn't matter, what courses would you have taken? I’m pleased with all the course I took
137. What are your favorite baby names? Aurora Michelle for a girl. Levi Joseph for a boy.
138. When was the last time you had a deep conversation with someone? Yesterday
139. What instantly ruins a conversation? An uninterested participant, someone who only talks but refuses to listen
140. Biggest turn ons and turn on offs. I feel I’ve already answered this
141. Biggest disappointment. Uh
142. Do you have any self-restraint? Hardly
143. When did you last do something outside of your comfort zone? Moved into an apartment
144. Prized possession(s)? My claddagh, a bracelet from Nora, my journal collection, many photographs
145. What is your opinion on second chances? We all deserve them
146. Text or call? TEXT TEXT TEXT
147. What do you like about the 21st century? The internet is pretty great. I couldn’t imagine life without it.
148. What advice would you give to yourself 5 years ago? Focus more on school and less on partying
149. How organized are you? Quite organized
150. Favorite mode of transportation. Train
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rules: answer 30 questions and tag people you would like to get to know better.
tagged by: @fuckyfarnes just now and @greenangelheart ages ago, oops
gender: cis female
star sign: capricorn
height: 5’9"
favourite bands: queens of the stone age, editors, stone temple pilots, puscifer, the killers, dethklok (i'm trash ok), gunship, duran duran, soundgarden, eagles of death metal, them crooked vultures, psychedelic furs, gorillaz
favourite solo artists: chris cornell, lorde, billy joel, brandon flowers
current favourite song: I Appear Missing bc it's the most bucky song i've ever heard and i am always sad about james buchanan barnes
last movie i watched: i think it was sicario? idk what it was for sure, it was like a month ago
last tv show i watched: the last thing i watched was the CLE @ MIN game in puerto rico. i think the last thing i saw that was a show show was The Zoo
when i created this blog: okay i looked this up once and i think it was march 2016? it's kind of hard to remember bc i'd had a marvel sideblog for a while, but decided to make a main for it once the fandom for my previous main started dying. (i miss you, mmfd)
what i post: anything related to comics. i mostly post marvel properties and cast members, but occasionally some dc, image, and dark horse stuff too
last thing i googled: east of west tv show amazon (i am so excited about this omg)
any other blogs: i have a sideblog for everything that isn't comics. it's an absolute mess. @deeperisleep
do i get asks: not a whole lot, but more than i used to. i probably average a couple a month
followers: 2138. i lost several after i dared talk about asexuality lmao (speaking of which, i'm not ignoring your message, anon. i've just not had the energy to answer it yet)
favourite colours: orange, purple, red, silver, copper, and lately rose gold
average hours of sleep: anywhere from 4 to 9, depending on how i'm feeling
lucky number: 11
instruments: i played the clarinet in high school. senior year was the bass clarinet
what i’m currently wearing: a light blue hospital gown with little dark blue and green sunbursts on it
how many blankets i sleep with: just a sheet for most of the year, but i do have a comforter for the really cold nights
dream job: the real, it-could-never-happen dream was astronaut. the more attainable one was asl translator/speech therapist or music teacher
dream trip: the dream trip is to just go and never come back tbh. i'd love to be able to go from country to country, city to city on one big continuous journey. i'd spend a month or three in each place and then move on. that way i could see all the places i want to see, which include belize, greece, morocco, south africa, tanzania, barbados, chile, ecuador, wales, italy, scotland, japan, ireland, germany, iceland, new zealand, china, india, spain, the phillipines... just everywhere. i want to see the entire world, save for north korea and any other places who don't want me to visit. i don't want to force any place to host me
do i have a crush: in real life, no. in Unattainable Celebrity Land, absolutely. sebastian mostly, but also lupita and hayley. also brandon flowers a bit. seb is the only full-force, they've-been-in-my-dreams (no, not like that, geez), i-might-die-if-i-ever-looked-them-in-the-eye kind of crush though. he's the only celeb i've had a legit crush on, tbh
favourite animal: emperor tamarin
hair colour: dark brown
i tag: @sighodinson @batfamiliy @directorrogers @tiredbuchanan @buckysoldatbarnes @sebrostan @imperatorrrrr @dorkychris @daysoffuturepast @thewinterbucky @greggybird
and anybody else who would like to do this -- just say i tagged you bc i'd love to learn more about all of my followers! 💜
#about me#tag game#i've tried to put a read more in several times and it refuses to work i hate mobile so much uuugh
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25th May 2020 - Orff
Carl Orff (1895-1982)
Gisei, Das Opfer (1913) https://open.spotify.com/album/74d2v19w4fuI8aPcRkVi99?si=MqdFYt9VRIuezbY-YEqMGg
‘O’ is another letter that doesn’t have huge amounts to offer in terms of composers. I’ve chosen Orff because I’m genuinely intrigued to see what else this composer has put out apart from Carmina Burana. I wonder if Orff suspected that his magnum opus would be used in every single ‘dramatic’ moment in reality TV for the intellectually challenged from now until presumably the end of time. You’ve all heard Camrina Burana, but what else did Orff do? I’ve chosen a fairly early work of his, written at just 18 years of age. It’s a story of a Japanese calligraphy teacher who kills one of his pupils, but not the right one, and his parents are sad, basically. Apparently heavily influenced (perhaps pillaged) from Debussy, it was not performed until 2010. Also, Orf is a viral skin infection passed to humans by infected sheep and goats, colloquially known as scabby mouth in the farming community. And who said I couldn’t get music and medicine into the same blog?
Get ready, this is a long one!
Above - do we think this might me set in Japan?
1. Vorspiel: introduction. A very quiet and tender opening by the eerie female voices. Also with some windy noises. A few lines spread around the woodwind, and then things begin to get a bit more exciting with the introduction of the tune in the cello part (maybe viola). I think the choir are humming. I don’t know about Debussy, but the section from 1:35 sounds exactly like Ravel’s Daphnis et Chloe. Not quite as nice though. I mean, there’s no denying this overture is nice to listen to, and quite interesting, but it doesn’t sound new. Interesting trombone solo with wind machine. Aren’t they synonymous? Ehhhhh. 3:35 is a shock. Is this where the boy gets killed? No idea.
2. Vorspiel: No demo yama. Right, so this is still the overture. The section with strings harp and female voices from about 0:56 is really cool, atmospheric. 1:36 sounds a bit ominous again, with tremolos, then some brass, then hahaha that tuba solo at the end is cracking me up. Firstly, is that all people think tubas can do. Plod plod bitch. Secondly, what happens to the sound at the end of the last note?? Is it a weird vibrato? Is it running out of air? It sounds like such a wispy sound considering the instrument it’s coming from.
3. Vorspiel: Die Gottheit nahm das Opfer am. This means ‘the deity accepted the sacrifice’. That seems like a big plot point considering we’re still apparently in the overture. Or as google translate calls it: foreplay. Scary baritone and interesting textures with the brass in the next section, both muted and un-. Oh the singing sounds German, at least he used a real language in this opera. The accompaniment sounds like accompaniment, and by that I mean, I feel like there should be some singing over the top a lot of the time when there isn’t. Lots of lovely tuba. Ooooh 2:24 could be more in tune I think…it does sound quite high to be fair. Actually, the rest of the singing so far has been pretty good. Lots of hard Ts. 3:35 is a really interesting section, it’s very grand but then diminishes into being pretty scary again very well.
4. Vorspiel: Dann…tiefste Nacht. Then deepest night. 0:13 onwards all feels a bit familiar as well, from other composers works. I have to say it doesn’t sounds very ‘deepest night’. The last movement did more. I had a heart attack at 1:21. There’s lots of variation over the next few minutes. I’d love to see what’s meant to be happening on stage. Without that, it does feel a little disjointed. The little harp scale up to 3:55 brings us to a really lovely section actually. That harmony’s interesting, as is the instrumentation. Laughed again at 5:05. How else would we know we were in japan if not for some exposed gong/tamtam notes? It’s tuned for the singer to come in at least! “Doot Doot Doot” is fun. Then the shit hits the fan. The orchestral accompaniment does sounds at times a little like a concerto for orchestra, with solos from bassoon, tuba, double basses. It’s nicely written. Again the end of this part feels like I need to be watching something alongside it. The texture at the end is fantastic. I don’t know what’s playing but I like it.
Above - Cut the vorspiel, I’m ready for the main event. Also, if you look closely you can see the TV I’m thinking of buying.
5. Oper: introduction. Ok so we’re into the actual opera now. Well, nearly, we’ve finished foreplay anyway. Nice controlled accelerando, and the clarinet part’s pretty cool, before we’re back to the first section. I like this so far. A great introduction to the meat of the work.
6. Oper: Wollt ihr Ruhe halten. Or as my other half often says to me when they’ve run out of my favourite dim sum at Ping Pong: ‘Do you want to keep calm?’. Solo violin pretending to be a butterfly (Schmetterling) isn’t very nice. I’ve never heard a butterfly sound like that. The duet from 1:15 is lovely, however brief.
7. Oper: Sakura! Sakura! I’m hoping this is how star of Rupaul’s Drag Race Season 12; Rock M Sakura got her name, but I feel like the reference may be a little niche. Starts off with the waily woman from the last movement. Now she’s wailing ‘Sakura’ though. Who is Sakura? I feel like actually this could do with a little more accompaniment than just harp. The singer is a little overpowering at times, although her pianos are really soft and well done.
Above - life imitating art.
8. Oper: Ist’s erlaubt? It’s allowed. What’s allowed? A synopsis would really ameliorate my listening experience I’m sure, but that’s effort, and I can’t read, type, and listen at the same time. Another excellent tuba demonstration at 0:25. There’s a nice cough at 0:59. Is this a live recording? Maybe this is the only time it’s ever been performed. Are trombone chords every in tune? Not according to 1:53 of this. 2:33 all gets a bit exciting briefly. The string entry at 3:15 is very inaccurate. That must be the violas. More out of tune trombone at 4:03. I feel like the orchestra are maybe sight-reading because they know this isn’t going to be a roaring success…Again 5:00 onwards is very directionless. All jokes aside, the tamtam playing is great, and the sound is dampened at exactly the right time. It’s really effective. At 6:02 what is happening? Is that two tubas? Or a tuba and something else being badly played, out of tune on top. I can’t tell, but it’s bad. HA that dramatic ending is then followed by one solitary note on the tamtam which sounds very much like an accident.
9. Oper: Sei nicht mehr Traurig. Don’t be sad any more. Or, what Alex says to me 2 weeks after we went out for that dim sum-less meal. Interesting harmony. Quite waily again though.
10. Oper: Oh! Bauerngeischter. Oh! Peasant hunt!!! That is not what I was expecting. Oh wait, it’s actually Bauerngesichter – peasant faces, much better. Fanfare central. Maybe it is a peasant hunt too? Bassoon trills are fun. I have absolutely no clue what that is 0:38. If anyone could enlighten me, I would be very grateful. Is it a contrabassoon played high? I honestly have no clue; it could even be stringed at a push. Beefy last note though. I mostly spend the rest of this movement wondering what that instrument was. I can’t find the bloody instrumentation anywhere. Snapped out of my stupor by laughing at the random extra tuba note at 3:11. HERE IT IS AGAIN at 3:46. So weird, so out of tune in the higher portions. That’s why it’s on its own I think.
Above - Orf; why you should wash your hands at the petting zoo!!
11. Oper: Hinter uns lag die Stadt. The city was behind us. If you listen carefully at 0:02 you can hear the tuba player stick his hand in a crisp packet. Nice combination of the bass, and high register of the harp, I like that quite a lot. It’s more interesting than the bass and tuba duet afterwards. 2:00 is straight out of Daphnis again for 2 seconds. The trombone chord at 3:22 is eventually in tune, but it doesn’t start that way.
12. Oper: Ihr wart doch heut’ beim Mahl des Bonzen? If you had given me 1,000 goes at guessing this translation, I would never have come out with the correct answer: You were eating the fat cat today? This seems to be a rather rude question judging by the bloke’s reaction. This baritone bit is quite recitative-y, I just wish I could understand what they were saying. From 2:00, the orchestral parts are exciting, if a little forced. 2:50, we see this weird tuba vibe again. And the chord at 3:06 is actually really nice, as Roxxxy Andrews would say: thick and juicy. String entry at 3:30 is very messy again. Another heart attack at 4:48. So screechy. More of the same until the end.
13. Oper: Entlasst nun eure Schuler, Genzo. Now release your students Genzo. Heard across the country in March, when money-grabbing boarding schools tried to keep their students during the pandemic for ‘safety’ reasons. More tuba. 0:14 – what is this person playing at. The entry of this mysterious companion of the half decent tuba sounds like they flutter-tongue that entry. I often joke “Oh I could do a better job” but in this case, I think I actually could. IS it just a low horn? I can’t tell. Lots of to-and-fro between a couple of the men now, but I don’t know what about. One sounds much angrier than the other. I assume the calligrapher is the friendly sounding one, but that’s a very stereotypical assumption.
14. Oper: Hm! Seltsam! Hm! Strange! You’re telling me. Nice little bit of spoken word. It’s actually nicer than hearing them belting all the time. There’s a glass harmonium or some glasses being played at 0:50, sounds quite cool. Probably not worth the expense of renting one. Christ, calm down at 1:08. They briefly switch to English at 1:53, but ‘can shoe size’ doesn’t make much sense, or is at least very cryptic. Someone undoes their Velcro shoe at 3:09, maybe that’s what it’s referring to. 3:34 is nice, and I get the Debussy vibes here. Again at 4:00.
15. Oper: Macht auf! Macht auf! Open Up! X2. Orff does love whacking two very low instruments next to each other and just hoping they can play in tune. Spoiler alert, they can’t. I like the dramatic knocking on the door. Just sing, love, it’s louder. The lady sounds worried about something. If only I knew what. 2:09 is fun. The chord at 3:23 sounds exactly like what you would hear in a film set in Transylvania when the camera pans to Dracula’s house. More shit low playing at several more points in the next section. 4:50 to the end is great actually.
16. Oper: Die Sonne sinkt! The sun is setting (I assume, I didn’t actually look that one up). The tuba and miscellaneous other instrument’s last hurrah before a random piano plays 3 chords, someone coughs and the strings forget to come in; all before 1:00. Why is there now a piano? Wouldn’t the harp have done the same job? The end is quite simple, but it sounds nice. Although the last chord is uncomfortable and sounds very unfinished. Deliberately I’m sure.
Overall – 6/10. Well that was a couple of hours of my life I will never get back. I’m perhaps being harsh because opera obviously isn’t meant to be just heard, and with the right staging, and acting and me being able to understand the plot, it might be a nice little work. A lot of the problems I have with this are actually with the playing rather than the writing, although many of the tuning issues may be attributable to weird instrumentation. Either way, it’s certainly got areas of interest, but there’s lots of weak parts too. It’s not going to be accompanying the talentless droves on the X-Factor any time soon, put it that way.
Below is what Orff intended for his music, in its purest form:
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