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my2phetaliaheadcanons · 3 years

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Pet Owners Part 1

Owning pets is rare for nations because a true nation’s pet has a bond with their owners as much as they do the land. Many of their pets don’t really have something they represent inexactness, it's just they were there when the nation was born, and they bonded. No one can really explain how they come to find their owners, both parties just know.

Some nations don’t have the nation pet, but instead either found a mythical creature or own regular pets that will eventually die.

America – A big black shaggy dog. Allen has owned Makwa since he was a small child. No matter where he went Makwa would follow. This mini mammoth is very protective of Allen and has bitten Oliver many times. This dog has even followed Allen into war zones. Their bond is as deep as man and dog can go.

He is Allen’s best friend and more often than not the wall he bounces off of. Whether he is venting, planning, or just sleepy mumbling, Allen takes the time to talk to Makwa.

England – Flying Chocolate Bunny (FCB) and Flying Strawberry Bunny (FSB). These mythical evil bunnies are downright monsters. Unlike his 1p that has only one, Oliver has two. Both nations discovered their bunny allies together, but instead of taking just one. Oliver decided to take two. They were found when the nations were about 150 yrs old.

Since mythical creatures have longer lifespans, they aren’t nation pets and die much later than an average pet.

FCB has red beady eyes and is the color of dark chocolate. His wings are shaped more like raptor’s wings and have a white chocolate underside to his wings. FCB often twitches and drools and looks like he is about to eat the nearest piece of flesh. He is known for being wilder and more chaotic, he does some of the dirty work for Oliver by getting physically involved. Scratching and biting Oliver’s victims, slowly driving them mad by wounds made from an unseen force.

FSB on the other hand is much sweeter. She is a light red with small yellow spots. Her wings look like a swan's, and have a light green underwing. Her eyes are small beady and green. FSB looks like a toy rabbit, small and fluffy. She is Oliver’s eyes and ears. She spies on whomever Oliver asks her to and takes the time to ensure that Oliver has whatever information that he needs. When Oliver had many colonies she was the one sent to spy on them. She is quick and knows how to use magic to shorten her fly time.

Oliver loves his bunnies and feeds them a lot of cupcakes and meat. He spoils them with fancy beds and toys. Though he does expect them to earn their keep with various tasks given by him.

Canada – A big white polar bear. Kuma is Canada’s oldest frenemy, over the years they have traded blows and saved each other. The amount of trust these two have is unrivaled by any other nation and their pets. Kuma has been with Canada since he was about a week old. Kuma is a typical adult polar bear with a scar across his left shoulder and it splits his fur.

Canada’s scars on his chest come from Kuma. They got really intense in a fight one day and came at each other for blood. That same fight gave Kuma his scar. Both winded up extremely wounded and ignored each other for a week before making up.

Over the years Kuma mostly follows Matt’s orders. But occasionally Kuma acts like a brat and ignores Canada. Kuma has his own little house outside that Canada built, but he also has a huge mat on the floor inside Matt’s cabin.

Japan – Koi. Like it’s been said before, Japan likes koi. They are beautiful and he owns many. He has been keeping them since he was physically about 12 years old. He has a pond that connects to a tank within his home. It is a huge tank that has all the proper fixings that allow for a comfortable space for his fish.

He invests heavily in the industry and always checks the farms himself when he has the time. Many family farms know of Kurai, at least a fake name he puts out, and newer farms hope to receive his blessings. His name carries a lot of respect and honor for the koi industry and those that don’t meet his standards close shop quickly.

Every so often he will enter his koi in contests. He loves to know that his are the best and has many ribbons from the past ones he has either won or come close to winning.

Germany – A small brown tabby. Luther loves his tiny kitty and spends many a nap with this little baby on his lap. His little tabby is called Winzig and her name is literally her size. Winzig was found by Luther one night after making his way home after a night of drinking about a year ago. She was small and hiding under a box by his apartment. In his drunken stupor, he picked up the kitten without thinking and brought her home. She is actually his third cat.

There were two others he had owned in the past. His first was a calico that was named Schnurrhaare (Whisker). She was very aloof, but they too napped together often. She sadly died in the year 1901. His second cat Axel came to him about 1950 and was a gift from his boss. Axel was a big Mainecoon that looked like a burnt cookie. He acted more like a dog than a cat and Luther loved him. They played fetch together.

None of Luther’s cats have been a true nation pet. So, each one has passed, Winzig is still young and very lively so she has a while still with Luther. Though the other two, Luther has kept their collars and buried them behind his father’s house. He leaves little bits of string on their graves for them.

Rome – This old man had a lion. Not just any lion, the extinct European lion. Mars was the name of this old boy and Rome had him from the time he was a child. At first, Mars was unsure about Rome and chased him. Over time the two became close. Mars didn’t have a huge mane it was more of a gentle fluff around his head and down his chest. His body and head were covered in scars. Mars was known to have a light pale coated rather than the deep dusty color of many of his brethren. He had a regal air about him and Rome cherished his lion a lot.

When Rome passed Mars lived on, but not much longer than Rome. He lived about 5 years while being taken care of by Luciano. Mars being old then, didn’t do much and seemed to enjoy the calm final years that Luciano offered him. He got a bigger and cooler grave than his master did.

Prussia – Alvin is an old destrier and looks like a Percheron. Lightly colored with dark grey boots and muzzle. Alvin has been with Wil since he was born, this stocky little foal just showed up outside and has been with him ever since. Alvin has been Wil’s first pick of steed into every battle that used horses and Alvin like his owner is brave and loyal.

Both master and pet love spending nights together riding through the woods. Prussia gives Alvin lots of training and treats. They are so close that more often than not spend many afternoons together. Alvin is also trained for various horse competitions.

Spain – So we all know this man owns a bull. Idiota is special to Armando even though he won't admit it. When Armando is tending to his fields Idiota is there giving a presentation of an old friend. Many believe that Idiota is a nation pet because of how long he has lived and Spain agrees. As much as he gets angry at his bull being stupid he could never bring himself to part with the bull.

The centuries of being petty with each other make it interesting to both parties. Though in times of danger both have each other's backs. Once during a siege when Spain was young, Idiota was all that stood between him and Rome. Though despite losing, it took Rome impaling the bull and beheading it to keep it from defending a young Spaniard.

Netherland – He has a snake. It’s a simple grass snake that often hangs out with him at home. He loves his little snake and named him Hazel. He says his snake looks like a Hazel. Baas and Hazel go on many adventures when the weather is ok for Hazel. He takes him to the store, to meetings with his boss, and other places. They spend lots of time gathering info on people and just pulling pranks. Baas believes that Hazel enjoys it as much as his master.

Hazel has a huge terrarium with plenty of space, heating lights, and pools of water. It takes up a whole wall in Baas’ home. It also contains fish and other small creatures that make the tank self-sustaining.

Baas relates to his danger noodle; in that, he sees himself almost the same as his snake. Both are hidden predators that take care of nasty rats. Which happens to relate to his favorite thing to do with Hazel, feed him.

Austria – A Greater Mouse-Eared Bat, I mean what could be better for him. Austria found Krampus around Christmas time when he heard some noises coming from his attic. Krampus had found his way into the attic and freaked out trying to get out. This caused a tear in his wing, and Austria being surprised by this tiny nightmare.

Austria feeling the spirit of Christmas was compassionate and took care of the bat. First, he forced his way into a vet clinic and had his little Krampus looked at. Krampus's huge tear would heal, but it makes it difficult for him to fly again. That was the vet’s opinion and then went off to call a sanctuary to come and collect the bat. Well, Jon didn’t like that and ran off with Krampus.

Since then Jon has done a lot to ensure his little friend was becoming better. Eventually, the wing healed, but not well enough for flying. So Jon has a little bat that can glide short distances and has a little cave in his home. Krampus gets all the proper nutrition and cleanings.

Though shortly after bringing Krampus home, Jon did call Matt. Matt had some words for Jon when he found out what he did.

Switzerland – This man loves goat cheese, so obviously he wanted goats. He and his 1p own a small herd together that they both manage. Vash does most of the physical labor while Hans makes them look good for competition and takes care of their papers.

They are all Swiss breeds and earn their keep by giving milk. They have a great life with all the latest things for goat care. Hans even personally watches the new items get installed to ensure that it is done right and that his goats are given something nice.

Hans pets them often and coos to them as he does. He keeps plenty of treats on hand, to the point all the herd runs toward him wanting treats.

Iceland – Mr. Puffin or Puff as Iceland calls him. This is puffin is nothing like his gangster 1p. He wears a small top hat and monocle. He is much more gentlemanly and often speaks about how Iceland could be better behaved. He often says things like stand straight, address the lady with respect, and so on. Unlike most nations and their pets growing up at the same rate, Puff was an adult when he met baby Iceland. Which concerned 2p Norway, because he could have been some kind of monster trying to destroy his new colony. One of the few times Norway showed concern for Iceland.

Though being the typical expectation for nation pets, Iceland loves Puff. They spend time together going about and causing havoc and attempting to win Norway’s attention. Though Puff still tells Iceland that there are better things to do than pursue Norway, but Iceland wants his brother’s love and acceptance.

Puff does his best to keep Iceland under control and professional, but he fails often. Though he refuses to give up and rather would keep on taking care of his young ward.

#2p hetalia #2p headcanons #2p america #2p canada #2p england #2p switzerland #2p iceland #2p netherlands #2p austria #2p spain #2p rome #2p prussia #2p germany #2p japan #2p pets

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pythosart · 4 years

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A big ol 2019 end of the year update

I felt somewhat compelled to write my end of the year/decade thoughts, but a warning before you read: This one’s going to be heavy, intensely personal, and long. If you don’t feel up to reading that, it may be best to skip it. I promise I’ll go back to shutting up and posting art afterwards. I’m profoundly incapable of being concise, ever, so apologies for the length of this.

2019 was a nightmare.

Some background: In mid 2016, my mother was diagnosed with a rare form of liver cancer. She was given a few months to live. She was given weeks or months to live multiple times, for almost three years. In that time my mom was in and out of the hospital, but spent all her good days living life to the fullest, starting and finishing dream projects, and keeping all of us going despite her own situation. Even when she was bedridden, hooked up to tubes and bags and god knows what, she found time to prop up her loved ones and pursue her hobbies. She even managed to develop new hobbies and interests while otherwise imprisoned by her physical state, something I struggle to do at the best of times even in my young and relatively healthy form. If there’s anything I can make of this experience, it’s that I hope to grow into even half the woman my mother was.

I ended 2018 with my final quarter at SCAD. I spent the entire quarter terrified my mom was going to die while I was away from home. It was horrific, I barely scraped by my last few classes (bless my professors’ endless patience), and immediately left Savannah for home as soon as the quarter was up. I never had room to celebrate finishing college. Any other year it would be a huge milestone, but I barely even care.

This past May, my mother passed away, after three years of petrifying suspense. It happened in the dead middle of the night, while my best friend was visiting for a con, and it still feels like a bad dream. It’s also one of the only vivid memories I even have of this year.

I wish I had more to say on that, but I genuinely think the drawn out suffering and fracturing of my whole world left me unable to fully unpack everything that’s happened. It’s hard to even think about for long, and at times I even half-forget she’s gone. I think of things I want to show her, or tell her, or cook with her. Just the other day I kept thinking I’d tell her how much I liked endive after she showed me how to make it. I found a historical Italian cooking channel that, every time I see it, I just think of how much she’d love it. I knew she’d love Hot Fuzz but never got to show her. Little, stupid things that shouldn’t matter, but they do. They just do.

My mother and I were close, much closer than I am with my dad. Especially towards the end of her life, we had gotten closer, and I felt like I was only just really getting to know her as an equal. I still want to share my life with her, but that chance is gone.

This holiday season has been especially rough in her absence, because not only was my mom the motivational and creative force behind a lot of holiday activities here, it’s the first everything without her. We had Thanksgiving with friends and a catered dinner, instead of spending several days cooking and polishing family silver and setting the table. I won’t be making handmade tortellini with her for Christmas like we did every year. It’s the little things like that.

We’re a tiny family, with over half of us in Italy and lacking much communication due to the language barrier. Family holidays were always small, but there’s just a huge hole how, much greater than the cold numeric value of “one fewer participant.” My mom was always a driving force and a keystone in our support networks, not to mention the main line of contact with the Italian-speaking side of the family, so now the family feels so much more scattered and isolated than ever.

My girlfriend was close to my mother too, and as she’s been living with me for years now and is practically part of the family, I think she took it just as hard as anyone. Cel saw everything I did, and dealt with many of the same uncertainties and traumatic experiences I did.

A month after I lost my mother, I lost my cat too. Galileo was twelve years old, a spry old man who yelled instead of meowed, and just a wonderful cat. I got him when I was in 7th grade, after begging my parents for years to get me a cat. It was my mom who eventually overrode my dad’s hesitations, and from then on Leo was part of the family. He went through a very sudden decline over the course of a week or two, and we learned it was cancer. Feline lymphoma, I think. I had to make the call to put him to sleep, and it ripped what was left of my heart out.

Not that it needs stating, but fuck cancer.

A few too-short months later, I cut ties with a “friend,” which despite how fucking much it hurt, was really for the best. At a certain point one simply can no longer afford to waste energy on a certain kind of person. Unfortunately I’m a persistently optimistic idiot, and it took me too long to cut my losses before deep damage was done. Done to me, my close friends, and even barely involved acquaintances this “friend” dumped on relentlessly and tried to harass into spying on me. Really, if any part of this is unforgivable, it’s that.

All this was, however, a valuable reminder that it’s no good to have any tolerance for habitually dishonest people, even if they think they’re doing it to look “nice.” Chronic liars will gaslight you whether they know it or not, and trying to navigate that in an already damaged mental state is inadvisable. It was an important lesson in picking one’s battles, albeit one learned too late. I’m still holding out hope I can find it in my heart to forgive this person, if only for my own selfish sake so I can move on. I have a lot of experience living on spite, and I don’t want to make a further habit of it.

Naturally all of the above did little to curb my already inflamed pessimism about the state of my country and the world at large, but I need not expand on that, I imagine.

I suppose it would be unfair of me to leave it all at that and only mention the negative, though admittedly positivity is hard to muster these days. A few bright spots of note:

Graduated from SCAD with my BFA in Sequential Art (technically last year, but I did the ceremonial bit this year)

Tabled at Animazement with Woods. We barely broke even, but it was a great time and I plan on doing it again in the new year.

Spent literally an entire month hanging out with my two best friends, which was amazing and exactly the kind of healing experience I needed around that time of year.

Properly did Halloween for the first time in years. I made a costume I’m proud of and we went out on the town… for like an hour, because it promptly started pouring. But fun nevertheless

Started therapy. As of writing this, I’ve only had an introductory session, but it’s a start. Should have started six months ago, but didn’t for reasons to be addressed...in therapy

Started volunteering at the local natural history museum, where I spent like half my childhood. I’ll be doing data entry in collections, but that’s still cool as hell

Got a start on figuring out what I want to do with my life. It’ll involve going back to school for science within the next five-ish years, but it’s nice to have a goal. More of a goal than I’ve ever had, in fact.

Played some extremely good video games (shout out to The Blackout Club and Control)

Made a shitload of unnecessary yet endlessly fun and good AUs with my friends and my one (1) OC

Got an iPad Pro and started learning Procreate, which has gotten me drawing more

Learned a bit of needle felting

2019 was a year of getting much closer to my two best friends, and I genuinely owe them my life at this point. I don’t know where I’d be without them. Nowhere good, certainly.

Woods and Dross kept me talking to people, kept me creating, told me when I was being unreasonable or needed to cool it, heard me out when I needed it but always kept me honest. They helped me keep some creative juices flowing when otherwise I’d have been at a frustrated loss and might have given up for good. If it seems like I’ve kept up my usual art output at all, and if you’ve enjoyed the Lou content (or not, whoops... apologies to everyone who followed me for monster content) you have both of them to thank.

Even moreso, I owe my girlfriend a great deal for being there for me through all of this while she herself was suffering similarly. She and I have had our ups and downs, and been through a lot in the five-ish years we’ve been together. We aren’t the most outspoken couple, but I think our mutual understanding and pain mitigated a lot of the damage this year has done. I don’t think I could have handled it alone.

Furthermore, I really need to thank a lot of other friends and acquaintances I’m not quite as close with, but still talk to. These people especially were willing to call me on my bullshit when necessary, or just talk to me at all, about anything. Even if these acquaintances didn’t know it at the time, there’s a good chance they were dragging me out of one of my frequent existential despair spirals.

I also, weirdly, owe a lot to helping my hen Julia recover from her dog attack. That was around the time that my mom’s health was in its final decline, when I felt the most helpless and despairing. I think having even some tiny something I could do to help was like, the only feeling of control I had in life for a bit there. Julia’s fine, by the way. Still queen of the yard, top chicken boss bitch, etc. Julia was always a kind of kindred spirit with my mom, in a way. Little but not to be underestimated, gray, big personality and commanding presence… Not to mention, she was one of the first in our flock and was always my mom’s favorite.

It would be too much to say I have high hopes or plans of any kind for the upcoming year, but I do have a list of things I want to try and do. Some of which will involve art, and the posting thereof.

Big if on this one, but I’ve also recently started therapy (only took me half a year to work up to making a phone call after the first failed attempt took all the wind out of my sails) and I have…maybe not high hopes, but hopes, for that doing something to help. I should have started therapy two years ago, but the second best time is now, etc etc.

I have a lot of New Year’s resolutions, beyond the usual “get in shape, drink less coffee, blah blah” that I’ll try and write up a little list of separately. Most of them are art-related, so you all will be there to watch me swing and miss I PROMISED I’D TRY TO BE LESS NEGATIVE. New Year’s resolution #1: Maybe don’t make so many self-deprecating jokes.

Anyway, I don’t know how to end any wall of text, be it an OC worldbuilding screed or something serious like this, so... I guess, love yourself, cherish your friends, know when to put your own needs first and when to put your friends’ needs firster. One of the things my mom taught me in this past year or so is that relationships are what you make of them, and that it’s okay to be selfish sometimes. Be generous, be genuine, don’t be a doormat and don’t lie to people you care about, even if it seems kinder in the moment. Savor the time you have with those close to you, and spend time doing things you love. Cliché, maybe, but cliché can still be true. Happy new year, everyone. I sincerely hope it will treat us all better. 2020 may just be an imaginary change of numbers, but I like to think it really does wipe the slate in a way, and make room for all of us to do what we can to be better. Speaking of which, vote. For the love of all that is good, vote.

A little bullet list of New Year’s resolutions, because it’s nicer to look at

Try to get back in shape (of course) - That 30 days of strength thing was good while it lasted, despite my joints hating me

Learn some new recipes, preferably with fewer carbs, you Italian ass

Keep a physical calendar and stick with it for at least a few months

Learn at least one new skill by the middle of the year, whether it’s art-related or something else

Start writing more. Don’t have to share it, but try. Write down ideas somewhere other than Discord where they’re easy to lose

Either reopen Patreon or figure out how ko-fi works. Even if it’s for no money, just to have structure and goals.

Do Animazement again and try out some new product types

Go to SCAD career fair with a decent portfolio

Get better about spending, by whatever method works

Attend some art classes at the local collectives, doesn’t matter what

Play more video games. I swear I only played like three new things this year

Read more classic literature and nonfiction, at least one book per month. I’ve been really enjoying Agatha Christie’s works and am about to start Guns, Germs, and Steel

Read more comics. Basically just consume more media

Do Halloween again, better this time

See friends in person more

Practice accepting whatever shitty thoughts show up and then letting them go, rather than dwelling on them

#not art #text post #death cw

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totalfanfreak · 7 years

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Prison Sentence - Month 3

Prison Sentence {A slight follow-up to ‘Ain’t No Angel. Will remain M, and switched to reader’s POV. I probably won’t go entirely month by month but I haven’t fully decided yet. And thanks to Caffiend who made me want to keep it going.}

Month 3:

Congratulations! You are now approaching the end of your first trimester. You may experience lingering symptoms from your previous one, but good news is that a majority of women see a decrease as the pregnancy continues. Though there could be more as you progress.

It still wasn’t real to you. You didn’t allow it to be, you made yourself carry on as if everything were normal. Until now, when it was night and you had time to think. A shaking hand prodded your stomach, much firmer now, a small change but enough to make you know something foreign was inside there. It terrified you, it was irrational, something the size of a peanut scaring you this way. But it did. You didn’t have the capabilities to do this, truthfully you didn’t want to try, but you were made to. And something you had always been good at was following orders. Sighing, you turned over, looking at your bed mate. Mac was changing too, whether he was aware of it or now not, he was becoming…softer in a way.

You didn’t know if you liked that either.

Growing up soft touches and gentle words were only used as a ploy to let your guard down, reach back out and be slapped down. Done enough you stopped responding to kindness knowing it was all a trick, the only reality being hurt. The people that had expected to care for you, as you are expected to now, being the perpetrators. They made you into this, just as Mac’s parents made him the way he was. He looked peaceful when he slept, the harsh creases in his forehead and between his eyebrows smooth, no devilish smirk on his face but neutral. You took the chance to smooth the wisps of hair that were out of place. His jaw jerked, but he stayed asleep. The handful of Valium he had taken kept him under. Keeping his word to quit the hard habits, reducing to small amounts of meth and supplementing them with muscle relaxers to keep him stable until he was cut off completely.

No, he wasn’t the same anymore. An easy example of that was being next to him right now. He trusted you to be in bed with him, wanted you to be comfortable. You had wanted to tell him you preferred the floor, not for comfort, but knowing your place. You held it in, knowing he’d get mad. He didn’t hit you anymore that stopped before the invasion in your body. For some reason he was afraid of messing up your face. He touched you more though some were still rough. He was trying, but between his aggressive behavior and your meekness you weren’t sure there was enough balance to keep a living thing alive. Besides Haas, as if on cue the dog out front began howling. You weren’t going to sleep, not here anyways, and being as furtive as you could eased yourself from Macs grip on your waist and out of the room.

You didn’t want to hurt his feelings but it was stifling in there, and since the floor had been banned to you then the lumpy couch would be the next best thing. You kind of wanted to watch TV or just have the light on but Mac had already turned off the generator for the night and there was no way you were going out there. Haas would start barking his head off, waking Mac, but other than that there were fucking crazy people out this way at night and you didn’t want to take a chance to run into them.

Do not be surprised by extreme fatigue and sleepiness. Your body is going through a hormonal transformation, your progesterone levels rising. Remember to get plenty of rest, eat a balance diet, and perhaps adjust your schedule – nothing can cause greater fatigue then a busy lifestyle!

You felt yourself being jerked by the arm, your body aching from the dips and sags it contorted to on the couch.

“The hell you think yur doin’ out here, girl?”

You could hear Mac snarling, all the accusations laced in the words. Why weren’t you in bed? Is it not good enough for you? Thin you’re better than me and my shit? You knew it. It made you feel bad that, that was his automatic assumption.

“I couldn’t sleep last night so I came out here. I didn’t want to bother you, Mac. You want me to make you some breakfast?”

You watched his jaw work, doing your best to stay awake. You felt yourself being shaken.

“Don’t be fallin’ asleep on me when I’m talkin’ to ya, girlie!”

“Sorry.”

You stood up, his grip loosened as you went into the kitchen. “Eggs?”

He was still fuming, seeing him flexing his hands at his sides. “Don’t give a shit, get on it while I feed the mutt.”

Your whole body felt like jelly, unable to support your arm when you had to reach into the overhead cabinets. You wanted to lie back down. You flipped on the coffee pot, hoping some caffeine would give you a boost. You were going to have to quit soon, knowing it was bad for…well obvious reasons.

You heard the door slam shut.

“He stopped barking, so I’m guessing he’s happy.”

Mac didn’t respond, yanking down the cups that you hadn’t been able to. You dished out the eggs onto the plates, waiting for the toast to be done you went to get the butter when he grabbed for you.

“Yur sleepin’ in that bed from now on. Ya hear me? I’ll tie ya to it at night if I have to.”

You knew you were blushing, felt the jittery ebb in your hands at what that image could incite. His grip loosened then, humor flashing in his eyes.

“Want me to, don’t ya, Y/N? Tie ya down by yur wrists and ankles, able to do whatever I want with you? Makin’ you wet, girl? Open your damn mouth and tell me.”

You nodded, licking your lips. “Yes, I want you to tie me up and fuck me Mac.”

He growled, grabbing your hair by the back of the head to pull it back, making you look right at him.

“And how ya wantin’ me to fuck you, Princess?”

You never hesitated with the question. “Anyway you want, Mac.”

He tugged at the shirt you were wearing, one of his, as he dragged you to the bedroom. Yanking the shirt over your head he flung you on the mattress, tearing at his coveralls for the day and your panties at the same time.

“Yur mine, girl. Better not fucking be forgetting that.”

“I’m yours, Mac.”

God it was a blessing that he still fucked you. You inhaled deep as he pulled you up the bed, wrapping your arms up with a belt. You watched him, it wasn’t like it had been. He had looked excited as he had now, but before you could see the malice in him, one wrong move or word and you would be done. But now…

“And you’re mine?”

He appeared startled by the question, unable to answer. The surprise expression quickly turning angry when he picked your leg up and thrust into you. Usually Mac liked to play first, a cat batting around a mouse until it was too exhausted to fight, but you tipped him over with your damn curiosity and knew only one of you was going to get satisfied from this. It was still good pummeling through your walls waking each nerve up. You were only heightening, your climax just climbing when he spilled into you. The strangled cry as he out his face in your neck letting you know it was over. He stayed for a minute, regaining his composure, remembering he was pissed before pulling off of you.

He tucked himself back in, fixing his coveralls. “I should leave ya tied up there ya little bitch. Make you remember –“

He trailed off, and you knew to stay quiet now. He shook his head, kneeling on the bed to get you undone.

“Clean yourself up and change the sheets. Better not catch ya doin’ anything else, better be smart and take the time to sleep, got me?”

You nodded.

“Then fucking say so.”

“I got it Mac.”

“We’ll go to the Luna for supper.”

“But can’t we –“

You stopped yourself. Just because he was changing doesn’t mean he was completely so and you kept fucking up around the wrong personality of him.

He glared at you. “I’m not getting you off today, call that punishment for your stupid shit. And you already know damn well that I can tell if you do it yourself.”

He looked at the floor. “I know Mac. That wasn’t what I was going to ask.”

“What the fuck you wanting then?”

“Could we – maybe go to the store today?”

He was staring you down, hard, and you knew not to break that contact.

“We’ll see. Now get in the fucking shower. I’ll be back around four.”

Taggers!

@derpypenguin

#red canyon #red canyon 2008 #norman reedus #reedus #mac #red canyon fic #follow up #reedus fandom #pregnancy #mild S&M #violence

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swipestream · 5 years

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The April Foolio of Fiends

The April Foolio of Fiends! Arthur will try not to eat you, at least not on purpose.

Happy April First, everyone!

We here at Gnome Stew are dedicated to bringing you the finest of gaming material, so we are proud to present The April Foolio of Fiends, an astounding collection of ridiculous monsters in a variety of systems. Feel free to use and abuse these foolish folks in your own games. We don’t condone cruelty to monsters, but they’re just as eager to have fun with you, so have at it!

This is just a taste of all the foolishly fun fiends we’ve created for you. The full collection of critters is available in a pay-what-you-want PDF at DriveThru RPG. The best part is that all proceeds are going to benefit Child’s Play, a game industry charity dedicated to improving the lives of children in a network of over 100 hospitals worldwide. You get to have fun with these ridiculous rascals and we all get to help make the lives of some kids a little brighter.

Mapless Fury

By Camdon Wright, Art by Toast

In a world full of monsters, traps, portals to unknown dimensions, and inns full of quest giving magicians sometimes you get a little turned around. Only the most foul of creature would take advantage of these moments of assistance to send you in the wrong direction. The mapless fury has no mercy when it comes to disrupting your travel plans.

Seeming able to point in all directions at once, a mapless fury will do its best to send you in the opposite direction of your intended goal. If you return to ask for clarification it will send you in an equally wrong but brand new path claiming to have forgotten to tell you about a crucial turn. Mapless furies seem very friendly and helpful.

Which way to go?

MAPLESS FURY (5e) Medium Undead, Chaotic Neutral Armor Class 11 Hit Points 71 (13d8 + 13) Speed 30 ft.

STR 11 (+0), DEX 12 (+1), CON 12 (+1) INT 19 (+4), WIS 17 (+3), CHA 17 (+3)

Saving Throws: INT +7, WIS +6, CHA +6 Skills: Arcana +7, Deception +6, Insight +6, Perception +6, Persuasion +6, Stealth +4 Senses: Darkvision 120 ft., Passive Perception 16 Challenge: 1

Special traits

Always Helpful: All Persuasion checks are made with advantage.

Actions

Dominate Travel: The mapless fury chooses one creature that can understand spoken language, and begins to give them directions. The target must make a DC 16 Wisdom saving throw. On a failed save, the creature will follow whatever directions the mapless fury has given them for one hour. The affected creature will not follow any directions that would cause direct harm to themselves or their party like walking off of a cliff. The affected creature makes a DC 15 Wisdom saving throw at the end of the hour. Failed save: The creature continues on following directions given for 24 hours. All spell effects dissipate at the end of that 24 hours. After a successful save, the creature is no longer controlled, but is confused for 15 minutes about how they got where they are.

Disorienting Touch: Will only attack when defending itself as it is only trying to be helpful. Attack +3 to hit, 11 (2d8+3) psychic damage.

Mimic Beer

by J.T. Evans, Art by Crystal Neagley

This nefarious creature slips into taverns, alehouses, and other establishments that serve fine drinks. The mimic beer will peruse nearby labels of dwarven stouts, halfing porters, gnomish lagers, and elven pilsners until it finds an appropriate draft to take the place of.

Unsuspecting barkeeps will pass the mimic beer down the bar to a hapless patron. When the patron brings the drink to their mouth to enjoy a quality brew, the mimic beer will explode into shards of glass in an attempt to kill or maim the patron.

While relatively weak, the sudden attack of a mimic beer can bring down even the heartiest consumer of alcoholic beverages, especially if they’ve already downed a few draughts earlier in the night.

Though attacks by mimic beer are rare, they become much more frequent during the creatures’ mating season, a time often referred to as Oct-faux-beer-fest.

But is it an ale, a lager, or a stout?

MIMIC BEER (Fate) High Concept: Fake Beer Trouble: The Trick’s On You! Other Aspects: Perfect Replication, Tastes Great, Less Filling Scale: Good (+3) Skills: Good (+3): Fight, Deceive Fair (+2): Notice, Will Average (+1): Burglary, Stealth Stunts: Reproduce Label: Once per day, the mimic beer can perfectly reproduce the label from a nearby bottle of brew. Once the label is set for the day, the mimic beer can’t change its label until the next day. Explosive Attack: As the first attack during a scene, the mimic beer can gain a +2 Fight on its attack and place either the aspect of Shocked or Outraged on the target. Physical Stress: Ο Ο Mental Stress: Ο Ο Ο Size: The size of a large bottle of beer.

Nab-Catcher-Bot

by Angela Murray, Art by Nuactna

That is one very annoyed cat.

A mad scientist once thought he had solved his city’s stray dog problem with a robot programmed to round them up humanely. But then, like most interesting robots, it got some ideas of its own. This nab-catcher-bot has gone off-script and decided that they needed to help in the canine revolution that only they see happening.

As a result, this nab-catcher-bot has been causing chaos throughout the city as they round up all cats they find, as well as the occasional squirrel and raccoon. Thankfully the birds don’t seem to qualify.

Where it’s taking all these annoyed felines (and other critters) no one is sure.

NAB-CATCHER-BOT (Dungeon World) (Solitary, Medium, Robotic)

8 HP 2 armor

Taser Net (d6 damage) Reach, Stuns

Special Qualities: Metal chassis

Instinct: To round up furry things Ignore original programming Assist all good puppers

Anger Drake

by Chuck Lauer, Art by KC Preston

A semi-intelligent, distant relative to the couatl, the anger drake is native to similar ecology, but is much smaller and much, much cuter. Though not able to speak, anger drakes seem to understand the concepts of goodness and law well enough to follow them broadly.

Prone to flitting around humanoids playfully in order to gain their attention and affection, the anger drake makes a distinctive sound that has been described variously as “like a purr dipped in honey,” “a unicorn yawning after a nap” or “the most obnoxious thing I have ever heard. How can you stand that? Kill it. Kill it now.”

For whatever reason, characters and NPCs of neutral or evil alignment find the mere presence of an anger drake to be insufferable to the point of self-destruction, and will often go to extreme measures to just get rid of the things. While anger drakes understand physical aggression, they appear to be driven to find the good in even the most violent individuals, never attacking, even in self-defense, and only flying away when asked politely by a good character or when dropped to fewer than 20 hit points.

But it’s soooo cute…

ANGER DRAKE (5e) Small celestial, lawful good Armor Class 19 (natural armor) Hit Points 80 Speed 30 ft, fly 90 ft

STR 3 (-4), DEX 20 (+5), CON 17 (+3) INT 6 (-2), WIS 20 (+5), CHA 20 (+5)

Saving Throws: CON +5, WIS +7, CHA +7 Damage Resistances: Radiant Damage Immunities: Psychic, bludgeoning, piercing, and slashing from nonmagical attacks Senses: truesight 120 ft., passive Perception 15 Languages: None Challenge: 3

Special Traits

Innate Spellcasting: The anger drake’s spellcasting ability is Charisma (spell save DC 15). It can innately cast the following spells, requiring only verbal components (specifically, its distinctive cry).

At will: detect evil and good, detect magic 3/day: bless, create food and water, cure wounds, lesser restoration, protection from poison, sanctuary, shield 1/day: dream, greater restoration, scrying

Aura of Affection or Obnoxiousness: Each creature within 100 feet of the anger drake that can see or hear it must make a DC 15 Charisma saving throw each round or be affected by the Aura of Affection or Obnoxiousness. Characters of a Good alignment find the creature adorable, and cannot make any attacks, direct or indirect, against it. Characters of a Neutral or Evil alignment find the anger drake irritating beyond the point of reason, and can take no action other than attacking the creature until it is driven away or asked to leave.

Grumbleface (Chitterface)

by Jared Rascher, Art by Toast

The Grumbleface/Chitterface is a fey that has attached itself to mortal rituals surrounding coffee. As with most faeries, the mortal behavior being mimicked is, slightly, exaggerated.

In the morning, it begins in its chitterface form, until it is either asked a question that requires cognitive energy to answer, or until it is exposed to sunlight. Once either of these triggers happen, the chitterface transforms into the grumbleface.

The grumbleface is not nearly as aggressive as it sounds, but its bellowing about needed coffee and need to avoid human contact is enough to cause stress and concern in any near it. If it goes too long without coffee, it may begin to actively destroy any work it previously did that has not been completed.

The grumbleface cannot be changed until it has had “enough coffee,” at which point, it transforms back into its chitterface form. The chitterface form is far less intimidating, but shortly after transforming, the chitterface will let out a burst of questions about daily projects and ancillary tasks that might be equally overwhelming.

In some instances, the grumbleface/chitterface transformation will trigger in the afternoon, often triggered by “one too many stupid questions.”

Get that mid-level manager a coffee, quick!

GRUMBLEFACE (CHITTERFACE) (Fate) High Concept: Highly Motivated Faerie Creature Trouble: High Energy Can Be High Maintenance Other Aspects: Not Even Supposed to be Here Today, This Needs to be Redone from Scratch, Wait—I Have An Idea! Skills: Great (+4): Intimidate (Grumbleface)/ Organization (Chitterface) Fair (+2): Throw Paperwork (Grumbleface)/Navigate Co-workers (Chitterface) Stunts: They Have a Point (Grumbleface): Whenever the grumbleface causes stress with an intimidation attack, they can also give that character a “They Have A Point” aspect with a free invoke. If the character with this aspect spends their turn drinking coffee, they may remove this aspect and the free invoke. Making Up for Lost Time (Chitterface): Whenever the grumbleface transforms into its chitterface from, the chitterface immediately makes an area attack on everyone in its area and all adjacent areas, using its Organization skill. This causes stress to everyone that fails to defend against the attack, as they cannot answer questions fast enough to get the chitterface up to speed. Stress: The chitterface does not have traditional stress boxes, only a set of countdown boxes.

Countdown (Enough Coffee) Ο Ο Ο Ο Trigger (All Boxes): Character has made an overcome action to determine what kind of coffee the grumbleface needs and how best to deliver it. Outcome: The grumbleface transforms into a chitterface

Countdown (One Too Many Stupid Questions) Ο Ο Ο Ο Trigger (All Boxes): Someone asks the chitterface a question that is obvious or has nothing to do with the current situation, and another character has failed in an overcome action to determine how to answer the superfluous question. Outcome: The chitterface transforms into a grumbleface.

Dracomanticoreasaurus

by Jen Adcock, Art by Laura Sorenson

Yeah, it’s all the things.

DRACOMANTICOREASAURUS (Dungeon World) (Large, Solitary, Magical, Intelligent)

16 HP 5 armor

Bite (2d12+5 damage, 3 piercing) Reach, Forceful

Special Qualities: Entrancing look, Shooting tail spikes

Instinct: To charm prey Preen Act with disdain

Little Bunny Tooth Tooth

by Matt Neagley, Art by Crystal Neagley

Little Bunny Tooth Tooth hopping through the forest, scooping up the field mice and knocking out their teeth.

Down came the Good Fairy and said:

“Little Bunny Tooth Tooth, I don’t want to see you scooping up the field mice and knocking out their teeth. I’m going to give you a chance to change, and if you don’t, I’m going to feature you in a book of silly monsters.”

But the very next day…

Little Bunny Tooth Tooth hopping through the village, Visiting the children and knocking out their teeth.

Down came the Good Fairy and said: “Little Bunny Tooth Tooth, I don’t want to see you bothering the children by knocking out their teeth. I gave you a chance to change, and now I’m going to feature you in a book of silly monsters.”

But that very night…

Little Bunny Tooth Tooth skulking through the forest found a little cottage And stole some pearly teeth. Then out came the Good Fairy and said: “Little Bunny Toof Toof, I don’t like you attitude. You’re such a little cretin, Give me back my teef!”

And then she put him in a book of silly monsters.

Well, that tooth was kind of hurting…

LITTLE BUNNY TOOTH TOOTH (5e) Tiny fiend, chaotic evil Armor Class 13 Hit Points 23 (8d4 + 3) Speed 40 ft.

STR 15 (+2), DEX 17 (+3), CON 13 (+1) INT 11 (+0), WIS 12 (+1) CHA 14 (+2)

Skills: Deception +4, Stealth +5 Senses: passive Perception 11 Languages: Infernal, Sylvan, Common Challenge: 1 (200)

Special traits That Rabbit’s Dynamite: Whenever Little Bunny Tooth Tooth’s final attack roll is 3 higher than it needs to be to hit a target, the target must make a DEX or CON save, DC 13 or Little Bunny Tooth Tooth rips out 1d4 of their teeth. If the target has a full helm or other such protection, Little Bunny Tooth Tooth must score a critical hit to rip out teeth. (Humans have 32 teeth. Dogs have 42, Horses have 40. Warning! Do not Google pictures of horse teeth unless you have a paper due soon and want to be unable to sleep.) Dentamancy: Little Bunny Tooth Tooth starts each encounter with 1d8 teeth in his bag of teeth and gathers more with his That Rabbit’s Dynamite ability. He can expend up to one tooth a round (he holds it up and it rots away) as a bonus action to gain a hero point.

Actions Bag Swing/Rabbit Punch Melee Weapon: Attack +5 to hit, reach 5 ft. one target. Hit: 10 (3d4 +3) Bludgeoning damage. This attack may trigger Little Bunny Tooth Tooth’s That Rabbit’s Dynamite ability.

Hermit Mermaid

by Chris Sniezak, Art by Toast

The hermit mermaid is a mer-creature that finds living creatures that are large enough to kill and then occupy by using their bodies as a propulsion engine within the water. They most commonly utilize fish as their tails, because they are excellent propulsion and the mouths are often easy to slide into. Because of this, they are regularly mistaken for your coral variety merfolk. Though, the dead fish eyes on their bodies are often a dead giveaway to their true nature.

When they’re not attached to a creature their lower bodies are a mass of nerve endings that probe and writhe in the water. The bioelectric currents they send out are what they use to kill their prey before sliding inside the carcass and taking it over. When in a body they are carnivores and will eat any fresh meat they come across and have a special fondness for humanoids.

Once in a body they exist within it until they grow out of it. The hermit mermaids never stop growing as long as they keep finding larger and larger bodies to exist within. There’s even a rumor of a hermit mermaid who inhabits a kraken’s body.

A hermit mermaid’s stats depend a lot on what it’s lower body is. You’ll be choosing between sets of numbers to make this monster fit the flavor you decide for your hermit mermaid.

Wouldn’t wearing a shark hurt?

HERMIT MERMAID (5e) Medium humanoid, neutral Armor Class 13 Hit Points 28 (8d8 – 8) Speed 0 ft., Swim. 15 ft

STR 10 (+0), DEX 12 (+1), CON 9 (-1) INT 15 (+2), WIS 14 (+2), CHA 16 (+3)

Senses: Darkvision 120ft., passive perception 12 Languages: common, primordial Challenge: 3 (450)

Special Traits Plug and Play: When the hermit mermaid has a dead body it can can take a minute to enter that dead body and gain the following:

The higher of the AC, movement, Str, Dex, and Con.

Any Physical special abilities of the body that make sense for it having been took over. Of course anything to do with the mouth or the brain is just out since the creature is dead and the hermit mermaid inhabits the mouth.

Add the former creatures maximum HP to the hermit mermaid’s total HP. When taking damage the HP gained from the creature are the first lost.

Add any attacks that make sense.

If the hermit mermaid leaves the body it loses all of the benefits.

Actions Punch: Melee Weapon Attack: +5 to hit, reach 5 ft., one creature. Hit: 2 (1d4) bludgeoning. Shocking Neromass: Melee Attack: +6 to hit, reach 5 ft., one creature. Hit: 21 (6d6) lightning damage and the target must make a DC 13 constitution saving throw or be stunned until the end of the hermit mermaid’s next turn. The hermit mermaid can only use this attack when they’re not utilizing a dead body.

The April Foolio of Fiends published first on https://medium.com/@ReloadedPCGames

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patriotnewsblogger-blog · 7 years

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Noam Chomsky's Venezuela Lesson

New Post has been published on http://www.therightnewsnetwork.com/noam-chomskys-venezuela-lesson/

Noam Chomsky's Venezuela Lesson

Venezuela descends into chaos. Its people, once the wealthiest in Latin America, starve. Even The New York Times runs headlines like “Dying Infants and No Medicine.”

My Venezuelan-born friend Kenny says his relatives are speaking differently. Cousins who once answered “Fine” or “Good” when asked, “How are you?” now say, “We’re eating.”

Eating is a big deal in the country that’s given birth to jokes about a “Venezuelan diet.” A survey by three universities found 75 percent of Venezuelans lost an average 19 pounds this year.

So are American celebrities who championed Venezuela’s “people’s revolution” embarrassed? Will they admit they were wrong?

“No,” says linguist and political writer Noam Chomsky. “I was right.”

Sigh.

Actor Sean Penn met with Hugo Chavez several times and claimed Chavez did “incredible things for the 80 percent of the people that are very poor.”

Oliver Stone made a film that fawned over Chavez and Latin American socialism. Chavez joined Stone in Venice for the film’s premiere.

Michael Moore praised Chavez for eliminating “75 percent of extreme poverty.”

Hello?! In Venezuela, Chavez and his successor, Nicolas Maduro, created extreme poverty.

Chomsky, whose anti-capitalist teachings have inspired millions of American college students, praised Chavez’s “sharp poverty reduction, probably the greatest in the Americas.” Chavez returned the compliment by holding up Chomsky’s book during a speech at the U.N., making it a best-seller.

Is Chomsky embarrassed by that today? “No,” he wrote me. He praised Chavez “in 2006. Here’s the situation as of two years later.” He linked to a 2008 article by a writer of Oliver Stone’s movie who said, “Venezuela has seen a remarkable reduction in poverty.”

I asked him, “Should you now say to the students who’ve learned from you, ‘Socialism, in practice, often wrecks people’s lives’?”

Chomsky replied, “I never described Chavez’s state capitalist government as ‘socialist’ or even hinted at such an absurdity. It was quite remote from socialism. Private capitalism remained … Capitalists were free to undermine the economy in all sorts of ways, like massive export of capital.”

What? Capitalists “undermine the economy” by fleeing?

I showed Chomsky’s email to Marian Tupy, editor of HumanProgress.org. I like his response: “If lack of private capitalism—I assume he means total abolition of private enterprise and most private property—is his definition of socialism, then only North Korea and Kampuchea qualify.”

Tupy also asks how Chomsky thinks “capitalists sabotaged the economy by taking money out if capitalists are superfluous to a functioning economy.”

Good questions. Chomsky’s arguments are absurd.

As Tupy wrote elsewhere about another socialist fool, “As much as I would like to enjoy rubbing [his] nose in his own mind-bending stupidity, I cannot rejoice, for I know that Venezuela’s descent into chaos—hyperinflation, empty shops, out-of-control violence and the collapse of basic public services—will not be the last time we hear of a collapsing socialist economy. More countries will refuse to learn from history and give socialism ‘a go.’ ‘Useful idiots,’ to use Lenin’s words … will sing socialism’s praises until the last light goes out.”

I fear he’s right. This love for state planning is especially outrageous today because anyone who pays attention knows what does work: market capitalism.

Socialism failed in Angola, Benin, Cambodia, China, Congo, Cuba, Ethiopia, Laos, Mongolia, Mozambique, North Korea, Poland, Somalia, the Soviet Union, Vietnam and now Venezuela. We are yet to experience the blessed event of seeing one socialist country succeed.

Yet during the same years, capitalism brought prosperity to Hong Kong, Singapore, New Zealand, most of Western Europe, and years ago, to a mostly poor and undeveloped country we now call America.

In 1973, when Chile abandoned its short-lived experiment with socialism and embraced capitalism, Chilean income was 36 percent that of Venezuela. Today, Chileans are 51 percent richer than Venezuelans. Chilean incomes rose by 228 percent. Venezuelans became 21 percent poorer.

Venezuela has greater oil reserves than Saudi Arabia. But because some people believe socialism is the answer to inequality, Venezuelans starve.

What should Venezuela do once the tyrant falls?

It should do what Dubai and Hong Kong did, and what America should do next with Guantanamo Bay and Puerto Rico: create “prosperity zones.” I’ll explain in my next column.

http://www.therightnewsnetwork.com/noam-chomskys-venezuela-lesson/ %cats%

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