#theprinceulysses
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spare list
helping me screw with scaled fucker (@landertheliondemon)
fish person thing (they spilled the tea to me) (@fishyfiles)
collector of weird human dolls with children inside and lord of… ribs? hot dogs? I don’t know, I find you interesting. friend..? (@angelo-rib-shack)
liked my posts and has a oddly contradictory name (@savourybiscoff)
they offered to make me a sword. I am honored. (@god-in-the-basement)
not worth killing. puts the I in idiot. (@ilovelovebooks)
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list of ENEMIES (in order of most wanted dead)
set my damn colleague on fire. fucker. (the--real--god)
floating fucking head who capitalizes off of religious trauma and puts glorious lovely angels in bad places because he’s a twat (@the-metatron)
God (@the-almighty-god)
OH MY GODS THERES ANOTHER ONE HOW MANY DO I HAVE TO KILL (@the-unmighty-god)
tried to fuck with my kids and broke my knee (@the-real-michael-demiurgos)
Marquis Leraje
the Marquis’ dumb hot assassin
snake fucker with the stupid glasses (@thedemon-crowley)
no no no please lord save me
angel fucker who talked back to me (@janeway-lover)
stupid old car that only plays one artist (@imthebentley)
fucking pauper who keeps stealing my stuff to make me mad (@youroneandonlysnakelady)
ray of sunshine with hair-bunny ears (why is that a trend in hell?) (@ask-eric-the-disposable-demon)
ugly as fuck crusty-white-dog hair so bad that the holy water should’ve defied the laws of physics to obliterate it from existence (@duke-hastur)
broader enemies
flies and anything in the family muscidae
homophobes
donald trump
croc-wearers
pinapple pizza enjoyers
people who cause inflation
child abusers
annoying motherfuckers
demon owl princes who cheat on their lovely wives with ugly fire toads
#enemies#🦚🗡️🩸#u.f.d.#theprinceulysses#theprincespeaks#list#stupid snakes#stupid people#stupid… deities?#I HATE YOU ALL
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they appear. Even if you don't see them at first it's quite obvious, as with them a strong sound of buzzing appears as well. They seem in a good mood, which probably isn't good seeing as they're holding one of Ulysses' feathers, freshly blinded.
Hello there.
he nearly jumps out of his skin his tail shoots open, it’s eyes darting around frantic. his back is turned to the demon. maybe it’s just another figment of his imagination?
he looked through one of the eyes on his tail.
fuck.
he turned around slowly, wincing as he did. his knee was still broken, after all, even though it hid under the baggy clothes he would’ve once scoffed at and allotted to be only for low class peasants. he forced himself to take a deep breath and smooth out his very much ruffled feathers. his main eyes, freshly with bags, assessed the situation. he finally caught sight of the feather.
his head crest flattened against his head as the unmistakable look of both a child who knew they’d done something and must now face consequence and, if one squinted, pure, A-grade terror.
f u c k.
he took another shaky big breath and tried to scrape together some semblance of composure.
…hey.
//kfp2 reference omg!!!!!!
#theprinceulysses#prince ulysses#the adventures of maai#theprincespeaks#u.f.d.#ulysses#good omens rp#crownedcorrespondance#the fly claw deal
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And don't think I forgot. Unluckily for you, I never forget.
believe me, I know. thanks for the fly swarm nightmares for the past few weeks, though. really loving the five hours of sleep a week in addition to the broken knee. thanks to mikey for that one.
I need to go destroy things. fuck fuck fuck FUCK FUC
#the fly claw deal#theprinceulysses#prince ulysses#theprincespeaks#u.f.d.#the adventures of maai#good omens rp#crownedcorrespondance#🦚🗡️🩸
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I waz wondering, what would happen if I were to deztroy one of yer little featherz? Would it hurt ya?
not a bit. they’re like hair or nails. tugging on them when they’re connected to my body hurts, but destroying them doesn’t. nice try.
the best I can do when they’re disconnected is see out of em. I take a peek on occasion. Right now, they’re in a desk next to some moldy cheese, a pair of smashed sunglasses, and… a long white flight feather. like the ones used for quills. that’s… weird. none of my business if you have a thing for higher beings though.
#lord of the flies#the fly claw deal#theprinceulysses#prince ulysses#u.f.d.#theprincespeaks#the adventures of maai#crownedcorrespondance#good omens rp
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Perhaps this delicious oatmilk latte with almond syrup from @pret-a-metatron might change your mind about killing me?
Though we've never met, we have somehow gotten off on the wrong foot. But I'm sure we can remedy that with chinwag over coffee, like civilized beings.
I can smell out drugs, you know. so if that is anything but coffee, you will be receiving a polite talons-to-the-face, in response.
Unfortunately, I am a sucker for sweets. I will be taking the coffee. I will not be taking your name off my enemy list. Try harder.
And don’t ever say ‘chinwag’ again. It makes you sound like more of a wrinkled old cunt than you already are.
#prince ulysses#theprinceulysses#u.f.d.#metatron hate club#kill the metatron#🦚🗡️🩸#crownedcorrespondance
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I muzt have forgotten, but when did I give you permizsion to zend mezsagez and zigning them in my name? You could cauze a war.
I assumed you were on board. Also, I never wrote your name, and you never told me not do anything. Nobody really knows what the emojis mean. You can’t get mad at me for breaking a rule that was never set.
#theprinceulysses#prince ulysses#theprincespeaks#u.f.d.#ulysses#the adventures of maai#ars goetia#crownedcorrespondance#good omens rp#🦚🗡️🩸#🦚#the fly-claw deal
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diary entry number…. I forgot I had a diary uh let say
diary entry #26
today I went to a brunch. someone tried to get me to smoke weed, and I said no because duh? no one takes drugs from strangers
haven’t eaten much of anything; I think I had a few energy drinks, maybe? my head’s all fuzzy. can’t remember nearly anything. whatever
people keep trying to get me to go to therapy. Thats stupid. Talking about my issues won’t solve them, not that I have any
I found a picture book full of Ellie’s pictures. I flipped through them; brightened my day. I love that little ball of fluff
I think im doje
oh - my knee still hurts. and my body. I think I’ve lost a few pounds. maybe more. dunno.
I miss Argenti. I miss Aurum. it’s been weeks since they went out to go get food. I’m worried.
uh bye diary
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this hangover is not fun dear gods why did I make those choices
#theprinceulysses#prince ulysses#u.f.d.#ulysses#theprincespeaks#the adventures of maai#ars goetia#🦚🗡️🩸
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day 24 of stupid resting
so today i
what- what did I do today?
I… I ate a new bowl of fruit salad? it had honeydew in it, it tasted pretty good.
I took a few steps and… fell on my face. it hurt, a lot, and I couldn’t see for a quick minute.
the ringing in my ears came back, that’s not good.
Aurum taught me more about sewing and fabrics. she rambled to me about plants.
I took a bath. Argenti dressed my wounds again after, and I think I screamed and maybe passed out halfway through. the soap felt good and smelled good though.
the shaking in my hands got… better? kinda? I tried a smoothie with chocolate in it; forgot that I was allergic, really wanted chocolate, spent the next four hours hunched over the toilet bowl puking. my tail grew a little - it’s like a little fan now.
that’s my day. see you all tomorrow.
-u
#theprincespeaks#prince ulysses#theprinceulysses#u.f.d.#ulysses#ars goetia#the adventures of maai#dont try to drug me#recovery
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I‘m scared of @the-metatron. He said smth like that no one older than 5 is safe from him :( I din‘t even know how old I am
I think you’re probably seven or eight. However, you’re a duck, and you’re also one of mine, so he will be getting a sword-shaped piece of my mind if he tries making a move on you.
#theprinceulysses#prince ulysses#theprincespeaks#u.f.d.#ulysses#the adventures of maai#ars goetia#good omens rp#crownedcorrespondance#kill the metatron#metatron hate club#🦚#🦚🗡️🩸
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*a fly follows him. It's not gonna do anything. It's just a sort of reminder*
he stops, notices it, and continues on. his day is worsened a litttle.
not a moment of fucking peace in this house…
#theprinceulysses#prince ulysses#theprincespeaks#u.f.d.#ulysses#the adventures of maai#ars goetia#🦚🗡️🩸#🦚
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this is the besg
I’m wi ruxiing dtuhk; you fyys. I love my life yhoa is gresaaat i think i moght throq up oh gods
//he’s drunk off his ass
#theprinceulysses#theprincespeaks#prince ulysses#u.f.d.#ulysses#the adventures of maai#ars goetia#🦚🗡️🩸
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Easter’s a fucking bitch. the damn day is over and all the holy shit still going on is making me sneeze. I can’t fucking think straight. do they make, like, allergy meds for holy stuff? does that exist?
#theprinceulysses#prince ulysses#theprincespeaks#u.f.d.#ulysses#the adventures of maai#ars goetia#good omens rp#🦚🗡️🩸#sick day
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ATTENTION ALL FREAKS
it’s me.
For whoever’s sake, we will not hurt any of the good angels. We will probably sit them in a cozy book nook with lots of yummy things and many baby ducks. Calm your asses.
@the-archangel-squad @the-metatron @sandalphonsgoldteeth @uriel-on-ice @michaelwiththegoodhair @theangel-aziraphale @urielwiththegoodhair @the-angel-muriel
in regards to any and all Morningstars and/or Abby, please notify us if you want your Angel/s put in the book nook and if they have any snack requests.
please note that the book book will contain a yuan-ti (@youroneandonlysnakelady) and her mothfolk girlfriend (@ittybittymothgf), as a precaution.
#Heaven war#theprinceulysses#prince ulysses#theprincespeaks#u.f.d.#ulysses#the adventures of maai#ars goetia#crownedcorrespondance#good omens rp#kill the metatron#🦚🗡️🩸#🦚#war#attack heaven
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*they appear, holding one of Ulysses' feathers in their hand*
Perhapz you didn't think you'd zee me thiz zoon, did you? But don't worry, I'll make it quick. After all, I got placezz to be.
he jumped, the weapon he’d been sharpening clattering to the floor. He took a breath and regained his composure, though the distrust (read: fear) in his eyes never faded. after a brief bow, he sat and looked up at his lord. ugh. just thinking about the word put a bad taste in his mouth.
what is my task, my- eugh* lord.
* weird throat cough noise, almost a wretch
#theprinceulysses#prince ulysses#theprincespeaks#u.f.d.#ulysses#the adventures of maai#ars goetia#good omens rp#crownedcorrespondance#🦚🗡️🩸#🦚
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