#the words ''assigned [x] at birth'' makes her feel ''on edge and accused''.................. | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

whore-era · 1 year

Text

glue

☁︎ mean!ellie williams x fem!reader ☁︎ themes: grumpy x sunshine trope, reader chasing after ellie ☁︎ summary: in which jackson's sweetest girl crushes on the town's grumpy asshole. ☁︎ a/n: loosely inspired by the cartoon 'puca puca' lmao, hope yall luv this one ♡ ☁︎ word count: 6,883

spring was coming in swiftly, and you couldn’t be more excited. the snow was beginning to melt, and the town was experiencing small spouts of rain, kickstarting the bloom of some of the most beautiful flowers in the surrounding forest.

it finally gave you a reason to take out your spring-wear and put your thick and heavy winter coats away in the back of your closet. fashion and clothing was a hobby you found yourself engrossed in, taking the time to carefully curate bright outfits and sew together your own unique pieces, utilizing whatever scraps of fabric you could get your hands on. it certainly took your mind off the reality of what went on behind these walls, a responsibility you could never imagine partaking in. everyone in town held those who went on patrol on high pedestals, thanking them for their brave service of facing those monstrosities and protecting us every day.

thankfully, maria assigned you the responsibility of the town’s animal caretaker. tenderly providing the animals with food, care, and love. it was a job you absolutely dreamed of, always having a deep fondness for animals, even since you were a small child.

“oh, jeez, minnie, i think you’re about ready to almost pop,” you mutter, feeding straws of hay to minnie, the beautiful, big, brown cow. she was one of two cows you had on the farm and was currently pregnant, ready to give birth to a cute, little calf.

minnie doesn’t say anything, and chews on the grain instead. but you like to think that minnie understands your shared conversations, and often expresses her opinions in little ‘moos’. it was either that, or you were actually going insane.

“i think we’ll name your baby….buttercup,” you suggest, rubbing minnie’s ears, “doesn’t that sound lovely, minnie?” and she lets out a little snort, inciting a small smile from you.

checking your wristwatch, your eyes widen. “oops, almost time for patrol. i’ll be back later, sweet lady,” you say as you give minnie’s nose a gentle rub. getting up on your feet, you go to the sink and wash your hands, drying them and using another rag to wipe off any dirt or debris from your light blue overalls.

this was your usual routine. waking up bright and early, heading to the barn to feed the animals, and making sure they have enough water and are groomed. then, you head over to the stables and help the other stableboys get the horses ready for patrol. yeah, the horses were absolute cuties, but a huge part of the reason you volunteered to go to the stables was so you could see ellie williams before patrol.

ellie williams was a dream. a dream you’ve been wishing for since you were 13 years old. you were enamored with how fearless she was. she was famous in town for her journey with joel, and what the duo survived out in the open world — causing everyone to heavily praise the two, and think of them in high regard. but you could see there was more to her than meets the eye. yeah, sure, she was a little rough around the edges, but who wasn’t after seeing what she experienced? ellie was usually quiet, and reserved, mostly keeping to herself and her close friends and family.

the younger folks in jackson think ellie was an ass and a big ole’ grouch. always having a grimace gracing her face or a ‘resting bitch face’ that’d intimidate even the most dangerous of bloaters. but those accusations never startled you.

over the years you’ve tried to get closer to ellie, going out of your way to give her gifts and cooking foods you know she likes. it was your way of helping ellie feel better and relax after a stressful day of patrol, and it was the least you could do. sometimes ellie would get a teensy bit annoyed with you, and would occasionally tell you to tone it down, but you just blamed it on her exhaustion due to patrol.

as you brushed shimmer’s mane, you picked up some baby’s breath that bloomed in your mother's garden and began to tuck it into the creases of the braid you were creating.

“do you feel beautiful, shim?” you ask her, “‘cause you look beautiful.” you giggle, rubbing her nose.

putting down the small pail you used to hold the flowers in, your eyes shift to the exit, raking them over the brunette a few feet away from you. your heart flips in your chest, and you let out a small sigh, fawning over her — ellie williams.

everything moved in a slow, fluid motion as she turned and headed in your direction. it was like a spotlight was shining right at her, following her every movement. you could only imagine how it’d be to have the privilege of being ellie’s girlfriend, to hold her hand, to kiss her goodbye, to nuzzle into her body during those cold winters. it was a fantasy only your diary had the pleasure of holding.

there was only one girl in this entire town who held the reputation of being ellie’s girlfriend, well, ex-girlfriend. it was dina woodward. they dated for a brief six months, before splitting up and continuing a civil friendship. you weren’t sure what the real reason was for their breakup, but rumors say they ended things because ellie was a terrible partner, never doing anything ‘romantic’ for her or showing any real affection towards her. others say they only got together because they were fooling around when they were out during patrol, and when word of it got out, they thought they’d might as well be together to save face.

but rumors were just rumors and you were never the type of person to believe such things unless they came from the actual source.

your body reacted before your mind could, and before you knew it, you were jogging over towards ellie, throwing your arms around her neck, “good morning, ellie!!”

ellie rolled her eyes, annoyed by the sudden physical contact and loud voice booming so early in the morning. she took hold of your hips, attempting to pry you off her, “alright, alright, that’s enough.”

pulling away and facing her, you smile sheepishly, “sorry, sorry— forgot you hated it when i got a little loud, especially before patrol.”

she huffed, crossing her arms in frustration. ellie knew you as the girl who had this puppy-sick crush on her the moment she arrived at jackson. as young tweens, you chased her around the school grounds, craving any bit of her attention and bothering her whenever the moment arose, like taking every open opportunity to be her partner during class or science experiments. you were the gum on the bottom of her boot, stuck and stubborn, never budging.

but as the years progressed, she’s learned to tolerate you, thinking you’d eventually get tired of her somehow. giving up after the unreciprocated feelings and chasing after another unlucky fool.

“what happened to shimmer’s mane?” ellie questioned, poking at the flowers adorning the horse’s hair.

“i braided some flowers in it,” you smile proudly, “she’s cute, huh?”

she nodded mindlessly, and leaned into shimmer’s ear, “i’ll take those off when we get outta here.”

you made sure to grab the paper bag and held it out to ellie, “i made you lunch again. i left a little note in there, so make sure you read it, m’kay?” you smiled, nodding towards the bagged lunch.

ellie apprehensively took the bag from your hands, and gave you a curt nod, “yea,” she murmured, “thanks.”

shoving the bag in her backpack, she took ahold of shimmer’s leads, guiding her out of the stables. but you gently touched her arm, “um, ellie.”

she turns slightly, “hm?”

“be safe out there, okay? i’ll be here, waiting for you,” you bite your lip, “and if something happens to you, i’ll— uh— come lookin’ for ya! and i’ll beat those uglies up!”

you smile widely, feeling a bit embarrassed by your word choice, but she got your message. with an awkward smile, she mutters “thanks.”

before she turns again, you move quickly and wrap your arms around her again, giving her a tight squeeze before pecking her on the cheek. a warm, rush of crimson fanned across her cheeks, turning her a bright, cherry red.

“okay, okay! that’s enough,” ellie groans.

“sorry, sorry,” you pull off and quickly smooth out her clothes, but she just turns away and walks off with shimmer at full tilt.

as ellie approaches beside jesse, he does a double-take and gawks at her, his curious eyes scanning the face of the girl next to him.

“wow, dude, you look like a tomato-” ellie cut him off.

“shut the fuck up, jess. just shut up.”

as much as you aggravated ellie, she’d be a liar if she didn’t admit to herself that you made her feel something. something she desperately wanted to despise.

and if there was one thing that was true about her, it was that ellie williams was no liar.

after arriving at one of the checkpoints along the route, jesse and ellie tied their horses and settled at the abandoned fire lookout tower, taking a much-needed break.

ellie picked off the white florets from shimmer’s hair, letting the small flowers fall to the ground.

“god, she put so many in here,” ellie muttered, irritated by how many little flowers tangled in the horse’s mane. jesse peered over at her, amusedly watching her peel off the petals and toss them over her shoulder.

“she ‘do that?” jesse questioned, referring to you as he rummaged through the saddle bag of his horse.

ellie sighed, “yea.”

“she did a pretty good job,” jesse smiled, “she’s nice for doin’ that.”

she huffed, rolling her eyes for the hundredth time today, “whatever,” she mutters, “shimmer is a brave and strong woman. this shit just makes her look— like a joke.”

the raven-haired boy shook his head in disagreement, “i just think you try to make yourself hate whatever she does.”

ellie stopped to glare at him, “not true.”

she didn’t care what you did. she just didn’t want you to involve your perky, bubbly nonsense in her business. ellie thought of you as the complete opposite of her, and being opposites, she couldn’t manage to be around you. you were sunshine, rainbows, puppies, bubbles, and an optimist. ellie was the moon, darkness, crows, horror movies, and a pessimist. two different things. two things that didn’t mix.

“lies. you try to find every little thing wrong with her, but you can’t admit the truth. she’s the sweetest.” ellie tried her best to ignore the words coming from jesse’s mouth, but she couldn’t. it frustrated her how much he thought you affected her. it was simply false.

sure, ellie tries to shake off the feeling of pride she gets when you look up at her with adoring eyes and call her ‘brave’ after a day out on patrol, and yeah, she tries to brush away the heat that rises to her face when she sees your face light up every morning when you first see her, but that’s because it doesn’t mean anything. the way ellie blushed rose red after you kissed her cheek this morning meant absolutely nothing.

“she’s the nicest girl in town,” jesse goes on as the pair take a seat on the wooden steps of the tower, “and you’re being an asshole.”

“yeah, whatever. let’s eat.” ellie attempts to shift the conversation, feeling uneased about all this discussion of you. jesse shrugged, opening his pack and taking out a wrapped-up pack of bison jerky and an apple and took a crispy, juicy bite from the fruit.

ellie took out the paper bag, taking a minute to stare at the ‘for ellie :)’ written in black marker. unfolding the bag, she takes out a tupperware and opens the lid revealing a roasted turkey sandwich on a homemade french roll, freshly made potato chips, a small salad, and a little fruit tart on the side. she takes the small paper in her hand, reading the note you wrote for her:

let me know how you like the food! everything was made this morning and packed with love. be safe and have a great day ellie!

p.s you look pretty today :)

xoxoxo

ellie suppressed the tiny flutters of butterflies floating in her stomach, blaming it on her evergrowing hunger, and crumpled the note, tossing it back in the paper bag.

“woah, where’d you get that?” jesse said with a mouth full of jerky, “couldn’t bother to get me one?”

she rolled her eyes, “she always gives me lunch before patrol. you wanna share?”

jesse shook his head at her offer, “nah, i’m good. don’t think your little housewife would be happy to hear you didn’t finish your food, ma’am,” jesse teased, letting out a chuckle.

dragging out a groan, ellie closed her eyes before opening them again, “she’s not my— oh, fuck off.”

she chucked a chip at him, the crispy snack hitting him on the shoulder as he laughed again.

there were a lot of things ellie’s didn’t like about you, but she had to admit, you were a damn good cook.

the sunshine was something you’ve grown to appreciate during your time in jackson. as the winters can drag out for months, you took every opportunity to bask in the sun outside when the weather deemed it possible to do so. during the hotter months in town, you loved getting dressed in flowy dresses and letting the sun kiss your skin tan. it was a treat you and the rest of the people in town enjoyed, especially when everyone took their loved ones to the lake nearby and waded in the cool, fresh water.

after ellie left for patrol in the morning, the weather decided to look up and the sun beamed brighter in the clear, blue skies today, giving you the perfect chance to change out of your overalls and into a cute blouse with puffy sleeves and a pair of blue denim jean shorts.

sitting on a bench perched outside the fence of the cow’s pen, you let yourself relax, soaking up the warmth radiating from the sunshine and occasionally taking sips from the ice, cold lemonade mrs. meyers made for the workers.

your ears perked up at the bustling clanks of the main gates opening. sitting up and shielding your eyes from the sun, you take a look and see that ellie and jesse are back from patrol. jumping up in excitement, you set your drink down and sprint over to the stables, excited to see ellie again.

“ellie!” you yell out as she hops off her horse. with wide eyes, she hurriedly hides behind jesse, taking advantage of his taller height and wider build.

“cover for me.” ellie mutters to jesse.

winded and breathing heavily from the run, you clutch your abdomen and catch your breath, “where’d ellie go? i just saw her.”

jesse smirks, and ellie looks up at him. don’t you dare. don’t you dare. don’t you fucking dare.

he steps aside, revealing ellie, hunched forward in a pathetic attempt to hide from you.

“she’s right here.” jesse smiles, and walks away, staring at ellie as he leaves the both of you alone.

ellie throws a quick glare his away, before standing up straight and clearing her throat, “hey— uh— i was just fixing my— uh..jacket.”

it was a wretched sight to see. ellie’s lame excuse for avoiding you. if it were anyone else, she’d have no problem telling them to ‘fuck off’ and to leave her alone. but with you, she didn’t have the guts to tell you she was avoiding you. why? she didn’t know. maybe she didn’t want to see your feelings hurt.

but you were oblivious to this. it was a regular occurrence for you to miss things and let them go right over your head, but it was because you saw the good in everyone, even ellie.

“how was patrol? see anything interesting?” you pondered to ellie, walking alongside her as she begin her trek back to her house.

“nah, just the same old shit,” ellie speeds up her pace, and you struggle to keep up with her long legs, nearly stumbling over your own.

“so, uh, ellie,” you stammered, “i wanted to ask if you were doing anything tonight?”

this was your corny way of asking her on a date, something you’ve been wanting to do for ages.

“uh, yeah—” ellie scratched the back of her neck, “i’m real busy tonight.”

false. ellie’s evening consisted of smoking a joint and immersing herself in volume 14 of her favorite comic book. but she already knew, there was no telling what’d happen if she were to be alone with you.

ellie strictly kept her distance from you and always made sure there were other people around you two while talking. it was her way of being in control. she was terrified of what would happen if her feelings were to rise to the surface and reign sovereignty over her.

“oh okay,” you thought for a moment, “how about tomorrow night?”

“uhh, not available tomorrow either. sorry.” ellie avoided your gaze, instead letting her eyes fall to the ground, but to her inconvenience, her eyes gravitated to the sight of your bare legs underneath those shorts, only imagining what she’d do if she could feel the smooth skin under her fingertips.

ellie pushed her thoughts to the side. this is what she didn’t want. she couldn’t let herself think these vile thoughts. she couldn’t let her guard down. she couldn’t allow herself to trust and be vulnerable. ellie had to control herself, doing whatever means necessary to keep you far, far away.

“hmph, okay. it’s fine,” you frown for a moment before forcing a smile on your face, “maybe another time.”

“mhm, sure.”

as you turn away and head in a different direction, ellie let her eyes watch you walk away, ignoring the tight squeeze in her heart that occurs every time you leave. she knew whatever she did, her feelings for you only grew, scaring her more than any clicker could.

that evening, you prepared the farm animal's last meal for tonight and filled up their water basins. but you couldn’t focus, your mind distracted by that certain green-eyed girl. it was almost wearisome having these many feelings for one person, your mind consumed by her very existence, to the point where you couldn’t even focus on work.

startling yourself, you feel the pointy straws of hay poking your legs as you overfilled minnie’s feeder.

“ugh, minnie,” you groan, “ what the heck am i gonna do with ellie?”

you grabbed the broom, and began sweeping the stray hay that fell onto the floor, letting yourself vent to the cow.

“i know, i know, everyone might think she’s a big ole’ grump,” you begin, “but i don’t see her that way. she’s so brave and she’s so smart! i see her reading her astronomy books all the time.”

you smile at yourself, the image of ellie sitting on the brown wicker chair on the porch pops in your brain. “when it gets late at night, i see her doodling the stars and planets,” you fawn, “shh, don’t tell her i told you that.”

you sigh, leaning your cheek against the top of the broom’s handle, “she’s just so— amazing. a real special person. she deserves everything in the world for all she does.”

as silence fills the barn, you gasp, minnie’s eyes widening in surprise. “maybe i’ll do something big for her. to show her how much she means to me.”

you lean the broom against the wall, “thank you, minnie. for always listening to me.” you rub her head before you scurry out of the barn, heading home to lay out your plans. leaving minnie to chew on the straws of grain.

february 14th

“fucking shit!” ellie yelled, throwing her backpack off her back, creating a loud thud as it landed on the floor of the weapon’s armory shed. today’s patrol was particularly grueling today as she and jesse were confronted with two bloaters and four raiders. after a gruesome fistfight with the raiders, all the men did was loot their weapons and supplies and left them alive with their horses. they were considered extremely lucky, as in most cases, the raiders would’ve left them dead.

“c’mon, we did good out there,” jesse remarked attempting to lighten the mood, but he should’ve known there was no worth in trying to cheer up an already pissed-off ellie.

“yea, talking as if we didn’t almost fucking died today,” ellie snapped, “two separate times.”

“you know what you need?”

“what?”

“to blow off some steam. get cleaned up and head over to the bar,” jesse smirked at her, but she rolled her eyes, not wanting to do anymore socializing after the dreadful day she had.

“not today, jess. i jus’ wanna go home, get this shit off me, and sleep for ten hours.”

“c’mon, you buzzkill. it’s valentines day after all,” he sighed, “you gonna spend it cooped up alone in your room?”

“yup.”

“please, ellie. just come with me. let’s celebrate our win today.”

ellie thought for a moment, and knowing jesse would never take no for an answer for things like these, she reluctantly agreed, “fine.”

unlike ellie, you were beaming, reeling in the ecstatic mood your favorite holiday has brought. valentine’s day was a day for love and celebration in the town of jackson. the local kids would decorate the buildings with red and pink heart streamers and maria always hosted a lovely get-together filled with delicious food, good music, and slow dances.

your heart skipped a beat at the thought of slow dancing with ellie — her hands on your waist, your arms slung around her neck, your bodies swaying ever so slowly along the rhythm of the song.

your hands fixed the pink ribbon in the back of your hair and adjusted some strands of hair to frame your face. you swiped some oil across your lips to give them a sheen gloss and adjusted the long sleeves of your red dress. you felt pretty.

scrambling towards the kitchen, you flip open the white box, doubling checking the cake and making sure it didn’t need any last-minute toppings. satisfied with your baked creation, you closed the box and secured it in your hands, preparing to head out the door and make your way toward the tipsy bison.

during the walk there, you quietly rehearsed the speech you had prepared in your head. you were a bundle of nerves as you anxiously ran through the words over and over again, hoping by the time you made it to the bar, you got it down and wouldn’t make yourself look like a complete fool in front of ellie and her friends.

one of your hands pushed against the doors of the bar, the bell tinkling as you entered the establishment. you greeted a few familiar faces and smiled at barry, the regular bartender. but your mind was set on finding ellie, nothing less, so your eyes scanned the area and settled on a certain brunette who was sitting at a booth, amongst her chattering friends as she sipped on a glass of bourbon.

you couldn’t help the smile that curled on your lips, “ellie!”

the brunette snapped her head at the sound of her name, but she let out a despondent groan after realizing it was you. she wasn’t in the mood nor did she have the patience to deal with you tonight, but nothing could stop you from heading in her direction.

“ah, shit. she’s coming.” ellie takes a long swig of her drink, hoping the alcohol would make this entire ordeal more tolerable.

“be nice, ellie.” dina snapped as you approached their table.

you smiled at everyone — jesse, dina, kelly, evan, ellie — and greeted them with a “happy valentines day everyone!”

everyone smiled and held up their drinks in acknowledgment as your eyes flickered on the girl in front of you. “can i talk to you, ellie? alone?”

a mixture of excitement and nerves flooded your body as you were getting ready to execute your plan.

ellie, however, was growing more worried and worried by each passing second. your little red dress was the first thing that caught her eye. the way that it hugged your figure and sat right above your knees to reveal the bare flesh of your legs made her want to protect you from the staring eyes of all the men in here and beat them into a pulp for thinking whatever perverted thoughts that clouded their head. the second thing that got her attention was the shine of your lips and how it managed to make them look pouty and tempting to kiss, an urge ellie had fought so hard to restrain.

she cleared her throat, and laid back nonchalantly, trying to exude this false sense of confidence, “you can say it here.”

you swallowed thickly, “here? i-in front of everyone?”

“yup.”

looking around nervously, you hesitantly agreed as her friends had their eyes on you, completely immersed in your interaction.

“alright, i guess i’ll just— come out with it.”

you took a deep breath to soothe your nerves. “ellie, we’ve known each other for years now, and in that time, i’ve– uh— grown to really, really like you. i think you’re so pretty and one of the bravest people in town— and— and you’re so intelligent, the way you know so much about space and stuff.”

if someone were to put a tomato next to ellie’s face, the resemblance would be uncanny.

“what i’m trying to say is— is that i really hope you could give me a chance— give us a chance— and let me take you out on a date and show you how happy i can make you,” your voice shook, “i swear, ellie. i’d make you the happiest girl in the world.”

you opened the box to reveal a heart-shaped cake covered in pink frosting with the words ‘be mine’ in red buttercream and held it out to her.

ellie was aghast, and she didn’t know what to say. her mind was going a mile a minute, and numerous emotions were shooting through her body. ellie felt so special and loved, a feeling she rarely ever experienced. she was frozen, yet the next words that would utter in her mouth would leave her regretting ever coming to the bar.

“i’m sorry. i— i don’t think i can do this.”

your brows furrowed, “wh-what do you mean?

“you. you’re too much. you’re always hovering, always around, always calling out my name when you see me. you follow me around and i’m sick of it,” ellie couldn’t stop the words from leaving her mouth, “please, just— leave me alone.”

the moment the words fell from her lips, she immediately felt regret. guilt washed over her the minute she saw your face fall and eyes fill up with tears. fuck. she didn’t know what made her lash out at you like that— perhaps it was the alcohol or the fucked up day this was, but she knew there was no excuse to say any of those things to you.

your lips wobbled, and a tear rolled down your cheek, “ellie williams,” you squeaked, “i never wanna see you again.”

you dropped the boxed cake onto the wooden floor, the frosting flinging everywhere, and ran out of the bar. ellie wanted to run after you so badly, to take you in her arms and kiss your tears away, but she couldn’t. she was a coward.

“congratulations, you just got 1st place for being the biggest, fucking asshole.” jesse snapped, but ellie didn’t bother responding, knowing what he said was true.

ellie didn’t see you for a week after valentines day, and that transition from hearing your voice call her name every morning, feeling your arms wrap around her neck to hug her before she leaves, and enjoying your home-cooked meals to nothing at all was like night and day. it was quiet and silent, and all the color that filled her days was suddenly drained to a mere gray without you.

ellie thought that maybe you were just purposely avoiding her, so she started showing up early at the stables before she left for patrol, but you were never there. then, she started walking around the barns, to see if you were occupying your time by tending to the animals, but no, you weren’t there either.

unbeknownst to ellie, you spent the entire week at home, sulking in your pajamas and shoveling your favorite junk foods in your mouth while watching your favorite 90’s romantic comedy as an effort to mend your broken heart. you couldn’t bear the embarrassment of leaving the four walls of your home after being humiliated by ellie.

after spending your days cooped up at home, you finally felt ready to come back to work at the barn. it was currently early in the morning, and you just opened the gates to the fence, letting minnie, the chickens, and a couple of the sheep graze on the grass.

as ellie walked towards the stables for patrol, she caught a glimpse of you from her peripheral vision and nearly broke her neck doing a double take. she knew it was you because you were the only one in this town who owned a pair of bright, yellow overalls.

there you were, leaning against the wooden fence watching the animals as the sun sat on the edge of the horizon, painting hues of violet and saffron across the sky. ellie appeared next to you, leaning her arms against the wood surface.

“uh, hey.”

you ignored her.

“how’re things?

silence.

“the animals doin’ okay?”

quiet.

“are you just gonna keep ignoring me?” yes.

you sighed and turned to head back into the barns, not bothering to look at her.

“i guess i deserved that.” ellie mutters, watching you walk away. she knew needed to apologize to you and she knew just the way to do it.

the day after ellie’s failed plan of getting you to talk to her, she conjured up a way to apologize to you.

as ellie was coming back from patrol, she carefully held the bouquet of vibrant, golden sunflowers in her hands. she remembered to bring her switchblade to cut them off of their long stems and tie them together into a beautiful bunch.

she knew how much you loved sunflowers, and remembered how you always used to beg her to take you outside of the gates so you could go collect some so you can plant your own.

with a little pep in her step, ellie was confident that you would love the gift she got for you and you’d surely talk to her again in no time. everything would go back to how it was before.

ellie approached the entrance of the barn, seeing you tend to minnie and rubbing the side of her belly. a ghost of a smile made its way onto her lips, and she walked towards you, tapping you on the shoulder.

your head snapped around and looked at her, a neutral expression on your face. no more bright smile.

ellie coughed nervously, and she handed the bouquet of sunflowers to you, “here, these are for you,” you took them from her hands, “they’re pretty, just like you.”

you cautiously looked down at the posy of marigold sunflowers.

she fucking loves them. i could tell already, ellie thought to herself. she had to suppress the proud smirk that was about to appear on her face.

but you did something even ellie couldn’t predict.

you picked one flower from the bunch, and you began feeding it to minnie. minnie took the floret in her mouth, and smacked on it contentedly, clearly enjoying her mid-afternoon snack.

as minnie chomped on the rest of the bouquet, you turned your heel and left ellie alone to her thoughts.

“god, i’m so dumb,” ellie groans, and she peers at the small brown mammal, “at least someone likes them,” she comments as minnie looks at her with big, brown eyes.

the next morning, ellie came to the stables early, hoping you’d be there, and to her surprise, you were.

ellie had came up with a new game plan to apologize to you. her first mistake with the bouquet was that she was trying to ‘woo’ you with gifts, but maybe what you needed was for her to just be honest with you and to open up. that was what ellie spent the rest of her night doing, writing a deep letter about her feelings for you and how sorry she is for telling you all those horrible things.

as usual, you were with shimmer, brushing her coat and making sure she was groomed. from the corner of your eye, you could see ellie coming towards you, and you braced yourself.

she stopped in front of you and handed you a red envelope with your name on it. taking it from her hands, she smiles at you and takes shimmer’s leads from you, gently guiding her away.

ellie took the time to put on shimmer’s saddle and to pack her bag with some extra treats for her during patrol, but she couldn’t help but think of your reaction to her letter. she imagined the smile that graced your face as you opened the letter and saw the little stickers adorning the border of the paper and reading over the black ink.

but ellie was wrong. very, very wrong.

as ellie turned her head to sneak a peek at you, she was startled to see you already looking straight at her. maintaining eye contact, you ripped up the letter and tossed it in the pile of horseshit. you brushed off your hands and walked away, feeling accomplished by your petty deed.

ellie turned to shimmer, “i guess i should’ve seen that one coming.”

after a couple of days contemplating what to do with you, ellie decided enough was enough and that she was going to confront you, no matter what.

the sun had already set, and the moon had overshadowed the dark, night sky. ellie climbed up the stairs of your house, and pressed three loud knocks against your door, adjusting the straps of the guitar gig bag on her shoulders.

at first, she thought you weren’t going to answer the door, but after a momentary silence followed by a couple of sounds of shuffling, the door swung open.

ellie assumed you were about to go to bed, as evidenced by your oversized sweatshirt and pajama pants hugging your hips.

“hi,” you greeted, the sound of your voice surprising ellie after not having heard it for a while.

“hey,” ellie replied, “can i come in?”

you move aside, giving her room to step inside your home.

“where are your parents?” ellie queries, knowing they’d usually be home around this time.

“upstairs, asleep,” you nudged your head towards the hallway, “we’ll talk in my room.”

ellie follows behind you as you lead the way to your bedroom, opening the door and plopping down on your bed. she closes your bedroom door and slowly walks around, almost as if she’s scared to make any sudden movements.

she finally sits on your desk chair in front of you, taking off her guitar bag and setting it down on the floor next to her.

you weren’t sure what compelled you to finally talk to ellie and let her in your home, but you couldn’t shake off the feeling of unease and anxiety. there was no telling what she was really here for.

“i came here because i wanted to apologize,” ellie murmured, “i’ve been trying to apologize for a couple of days now and i’m gonna keep on trying because what i did was really, really shitty.”

you were silent for a brief moment, “...yeah. it was shitty.”

ellie sighed, “i’ll apologize a million times if you want me to.”

“ellie— you don’t get it. you humiliated me in front of the whole town,” your voice cracked, “i don’t think i could forgive you that easily.”

her heart squeezed in your chest seeing the tears well up in your eyes and hearing the little sniffles coming from your nose. it was her fault you were hurt. she did this.

ellie got up and sat on your bed next to you, letting her feelings overcome her and allowing herself to wrap her arms around your frame, holding you close as you cried into her hoodie.

you pulled away from her chest, looking up at her with glossy eyes, “i was nothing but nice to you, els. you could’ve told me something if i was bothering you,” you wiped a tear, “i would’ve left you alone.”

ellie sighed and brushed your hair out of your face, her entire demeanor softening as she was consumed by your presence, “i didn’t want you to leave me alone.”

“huh?” you gave her a confused look.

“look, i’m not really good at showing my feelings. whenever i try to express how i feel or whatever, it goes sideways and i end up fucking up,” ellie explained, “i really do like you, a whole shit ton. i love everything you do for me and i love how you’re always there and how you wear these crazy bright colors and how you talk to the animals in that one baby voice.”

heat rose to your cheeks and it was impossible to hide the blush that spread across your nose.

“i want to be with you,” she confessed, “i just get terrified of being vulnerable and opening up. love makes you do crazy shit and i don’t know— i hate not being in control.”

you were silent, thinking carefully of what to say next. ellie was internally begging for you to say something, anything.

“love means taking risks and being out of your comfort zone, els,” you whispered quietly, “take the leap.”

ellie soaked in your words. take the leap. take the leap. take. the. leap.

her hand cupped your cheek and she leaned in, pressing her lips against yours, tasting the salt of your tears. ellie’s lips moved gently against yours, not wanting to show any urgency toward you.

she felt your hand creep up to the side of her neck, rubbing against her soft skin as you deepen the kiss.

ellie pulls away, leaning her forehead against yours, “i’m sorry, baby. please, i can’t bear being without you,” she whispers, “i’m so, so sorry. i’ll never be an asshole to you again.”

“i’ll forgive you this one time, williams,” you murmur, “but don’t take my kindness for weakness.”

ellie pulled away, taking her acoustic guitar out of her bag and placing it in her lap.

“here, let me sing you a song i know you’ll love.”

ellie’s fingers strummed the strings, playing a chord.

i’ve never known someone like you

tangled in love, stuck by you

from the glue

her voice sang the lyrics to your favorite song, eliciting that beaming smile she’d missed so badly.

don’t forget to kiss me

or else you’ll have to miss me

i guess i’m stuck forever by the glue

a tear rolled down your cheek, as you were overwhelmed with joy at the site of her singing. something not too many had the privilege of experiencing.

finding the right words to use for this song

i have you in mind

so it won’t take so long

never thought i’d find you

but you’re here and so i love you

as the lyrics left ellie’s lips, she knew she’d chosen the right song to sing for you. as this song described everything you both have gone through, being attached to each other like glue.

i’m not wrong when i say i’ve been stuck

by the glue onto you

i’ve been stuck by glue

right onto you

i’ve been stuck by glue

the song came to an end, and ellie placed the guitar down, feeling unnerved from you watching her sing for the first time. you sniffle and smiled, throwing your arms around her and hugging her tightly.

“i loved it! you were amazing, els!” you quipped, inciting a small laugh from ellie.

“glad you liked it, babe.”

you pull away slightly to face her, “gosh, how i missed you,” you exasperate, “it was torture having to ignore you for days.”

ellie lets out a laugh, “oh yeah? if anything, i think out of the both of us, you’re the meaner one.”

you smile and shrug your shoulders, “what can i say, williams? you bring out that side to me.”

ellie smiles and pecks your cheek, “and you bring out the softer side to me, baby,” she points out, “isn’t it ironic? we’re total opposites yet we bring these sides out of each other.”

“yeah, it is a bit funny,” you giggle, “but i wouldn’t have it any other way.”

♡♡♡♡♡♡

#ellie williams #ellie tlou #ellie williams tlou #the last of us #the last of us ellie #ellie williams x reader #ellie williams x you #ellie x reader #tlou #ellie x fem reader #ellie williams x female reader #ellie williams x reader angst #ellie x reader angst #ellie x fem!reader #ellie x reader fluff #ellie williams x reader fluff #Spotify

5K notes · View notes

jessikahathaway · 4 years

Text

Under the Covers

DON’T OWN THE PHOTO!

Pairing: Kim Taehyung X Reader

Genre: Romance, Spy!AU, Action

Warnings: Graphic depictions of sexual intercourse (Drunk), guns and violence, birth (not too graphic), Character Death, Blood (Not really any gore). If I forgot anything please let me know!

Words: 23.4k

Sorry I have been absent but please enjoy this spy!AU that’s been in my WIP forever and a half. Love you guys! ~ Jess

The day had been dull, hours ticking by slowly mocking you. You’d recently been put on probation because of irrational thinking out in the field... So, now you were working in the boring section of the office, filing papers and trying to be on your best behavior.

It wasn’t your fault!

Your partner was being a damn coward and wasn’t willing to take the shot! You had to or the damn criminal was going to get away with everything... You didn’t mean for an innocent to get caught in the crossfire.

Accidents happen, variables get scewed and people get hurt. But how many more would’ve been at risk if you hadn’t done what you did? At the end of the day somebody has to take the burden, and if it had to be you then so be it.

Although, being forced to live this life day to day was incredibly mundane... How did the office agents do it? Did they enjoy the monotone, unlively plane they were existing in? You were having a hard time believing that. Life was so short, why play it safe when you could lay everything on the line. Risk it all.

You were a field agent from the International Espionage Agency, stationed in Seoul, South Korea at the moment. This is where you were receiving your punishment. The Seoul office was one of the calmest ones in the entire Agency. Some thought it was due to lack of talent, others thought it was due to the sheer drop in crime rates since the Agency was founded there. There was nothing to do, no one to fight. And not nearly enough booze.

A sweet desk assistant, Lisa, you think her name was, approached you. “Ma’am? Director Jin wishes to speak with you, if you’d follow me please?” she requested. You jumped at the chance for a change in scenery and followed behind her quickly.

The clacking of keyboard keys resounded in your brain as you and Lisa meandered through the desks and identical office cubicles. People whose eyes were glued to their screens as if it were their last breath. You shuddered to think if this were to be the rest of your life. Had your blunder been that bad?

Lisa finally led you to a deep mahogany door that stood taller than you deemed necessary. However, interior decorating had never been your strong suit. She knocked softly, a deep come in followed. “Please enter,” she announced, opening the door for you. Awkwardly, you nodded your head before dipping inside of the room. The center of attention had never been your place. Much preferring to stick to the edge of walls and ducking behind counters and desks as bullets flew past your head was where you longed to be.

The door shutting behind you made you jump slightly, before you stood face to desk with Kim Jin, Director of the Seoul Espionage Agency.

“Sir,” you said, bowing in respect.

“Please, sit,” he offered, doing so himself. You moved to comply and seated yourself in the plush seat provided. Jin cleared his throat before pulling open a file.

“Sir, if I may be so bold, under what circumstances am I here?” you questioned, trying to look at the folder in his hands.

A sharp clap echoed through the room that made your skin crawl in nerves. “You were sent here for punishment, am I correct in this statement?” he asked, already aware of the answer.

“Yes, Sir,” you confirmed.

“And why did you receive punishment?” he quizzed again, sounding like a school teacher scolding a disobedient child.

“Because of poor thinking in the field as well as doing harm to an innocent,” you answered back.

“Correct,” he doted. You tried to keep your grimace in check, although it was getting harder by the second. “So, after all of that. Do you feel that you have received a fair punishment? Being sent to, “the most uncharacteristically dull” agency?” he said, finally lifting his eyes to yours. His glare was so dark you couldn’t keep eye contact any longer.

“Sir, I-”

“No bullshit excuses D3!” he growled, using your rank against you. Designated 3rd rank was your official title given by the agency. Field operative in the highest order. You were surprised you hadn’t been demoted. “I don’t know why your main office sent you to me, but ever since you got here you’ve been nothing but an eyesore in my office,” Jin stated.

“I’m sorry, Sir,” you offered lamely.

“If you were sorry then you’d actually do the work assigned to you. How many reports have you blown off or given to my other office workers, because you ‘don’t have the time’ for it? As I see it, you have plenty of time to fuck around on your phone or go out drinking in the afternoon? If you’re here on punishment, why are you acting as if you’re on a vacation?” he said, throwing pictures of your reckless behavior in your face.

“I had to take that shot!” you defended. “If I hadn’t then the biggest drug lord in the Western Hemisphere would’ve walked right out of that damn store! I couldn’t let that chance go!”

“You didn’t have to go through an innocent woman to get to him,” Jin growled dangerously. “You’re ten times smarter than that, I know you are. All of your testing shows me you knew better than that. You took the easy shot, not the best one,” he accused.

“Where else was I supposed to shoot? Through my fucking knees? Sir, if there was another way I assure you that I would’ve found it!”

“The door frame,” he stated. “It’s made out of a steel and titanium reinforced support system. It could’ve ricoheted and hit the target in the eye. No innocents harmed,” he stated, holding up the store blueprints you’d seen hundreds of times before that night.

Fuck...

He was right.

“What do you want me to do Sir? I can’t make it right, so what’s the point in rubbing my nose in it now?” you questioned, staring at the papers before you.

“I’m going a little off the rule book for you, considering how you are a special case indeed,” he stated. “Taehyung, you can come in now,” Jin announced.

The large doors opened to reveal a taller male, lithe frame and bronzed skin gracing him. His hair was a soft brown, gently billowing against the breeze the door created. You looked to him then back to Director Jin.

“Who is this, Sir?” you asked, peaking at the man he called Taehyung.

“This, Y/N, is my best field agent Kim Taehyung,” Jin stated proudly.

“Pleased to meet you,” he said, giving a small bow before lifting his gaze to Jin. “Hyung,” he greeted.

“Sir, what does he have to do with me?” you questioned.

“Listen,” he growled in a warning. You shrunk back into your seat before nodding. “You and Taehyung are to be partners in a new mission,” Jin explained. You couldn’t help the excitement that flooded through you. Finally, out of this fucking office and into the field again!

Jin must’ve noticed your excitement. “However, Taehyung will be taking the lead on this mission. You are to follow his orders to the letter, am I understood?”

“Sir-”

“Am I understood?” he asked darkly. You nodded numbly, not wanting to get into any further shit. “Good, Taehyung has already been briefed on this assignment. But a refresher won’t hurt you. Taehyung-ah,” Jin stated. Taehyung nodded in understanding and sat down in the chair next to you.

You examined him closer and you were slightly stunned. He was rather beautiful to behold. His skin was smooth and seemed to glow in the sunlight. His hair appeared soft to the touch. Although he wore the signature D3 smirk. He knew he was better than you, and he planned on rubbing that in the whole time you two were partners. This was turning out to be more of a punishment than you originally believed.

“Are you aware of this man?” Jin questioned, setting a picture down on the desk in front of you.

“Of course,” you stated. “That’s Zhao Feng Tong, White Snake of Chinese politics... But what does that have to do with our assignment?” you questioned.

“Feng has been getting his mutts to attack Korean Intelligence forces. As well as some state side. The IEA requested that I assign my best man in taking him down. However, we are in need of cover. Your specialty is undercover work, is it not?” he asked, directing the question to you.

“Yes, Sir,” you responded.

“Perfect, you see that is the only place my best man lacks. He has no cover. So, you are to become Taehyung’s cover,” Jin explained. You quirked an eyebrow in confusion.

“Excuse me, Sir, but how am I to do that?”

“Patience is a virtue, one you’re lacking my dear,” you silenced yourself yet again. “As I was saying, you are to be Taehyung’s cover. Feng has his claws deep within the local government of a small town out in the country. You and Taehyung are to be a newlywed couple that are just moving to the town in hopes of starting a family. Feng is known to come during election time, once he’s there you are to eliminate him. These people are very wary of newcomers. I expect you to play your role perfectly, Miss Y/N,” Jin stated. “Otherwise you will be released from the International Espionage Agency permanently.”

Married? To Kim Taehyung?

Oh fuck.

---

You woke the following week with a wedding ceremony to attend. Pictures and things of the like were necessary in order for the new home to be believable. Stories, memories things all newlywed couples had a plethora of.

Taehyung, however, seemed less than enthused.

Something you’d learned quickly in the time you’d spend with Taehyung was that he didn’t play nicely with others. It was a common theme among D3’s, not enjoying partnership and just wanting to get the job done alone. However, this time your livelihood was resting on you performing well. And like fuck you were going to let that happen.

You walked into Jin’s office that morning to be greeted by a very bored looking Taehyung. He was looking at his phone and Jin was typing on his computer. You cleared your throat to announce your arrival. Jin looked up and nodded at your arrival, Taehyung remained focused elsewhere.

“There’s the blushing bride, has Lisa contacted you about the photography and the shoots?” Jin asked, you nodded obediently, not wanting to get in trouble before your assignment had even started.

“Yes, a car is waiting for Taehyung and I out in the lot. We’re going to get our wedding and engagement photos done today. As well as anything else you can think of that couples have,” you declared. Jin nodded in approval then clicked his tongue at Taehyung.

“Tae, I expect you to be on your best behavior for Miss Y/N, this is her area of expertise. Play nice,” he warned. Taehyung nodded and stood up, placing his phone in his pocket.

“Come on then, let’s get married.”

---

The day passed uneventfully, as did the following weeks. You’d been put through so many outfits and fake smiles that everything was simply exhausting. However, the real work was yet to begin. You were packing your clothes up. Some of them are worn in photo shoots to prevent suspicion.

Your phone was removed and a new one took its place. Photos of you and Taehyung as well as simplistic snapshots every girl had on her phone. You were assuming Taehyung had been given a similar set up.

Tomorrow, you were to move across the country with this man and live as his new wife, until election time... Which was almost four months away. Of course Feng would be around the town doing campaigning and things of the like, however, that wouldn’t be the time to strike. You’d have to be patient this time. Think things through.

You can’t slip up again. Looking through the photos on your new device you found one of Taehyung that you had taken in the park where you were getting your wedding photos done. He’d found a wildflower that had peaked his interest for the time being and was admiring it. You took the opportunity to capture the moment, one where he wasn’t ignoring you or putting you down for negligence. He was simply existing in nature.

You made it your screensaver and shut the device off for the night. Turning your head to your nightstand you saw the glittering jewels of your wedding and engagement rings. The delicate silver and diamonds wove around simplistically. Nothing too extravagant, but enough to show you were spoken for. Taehyung also had a similar ring, just a touch understated.

Images of the prior weeks of preparation made your stomach clench in nerves. You hadn’t been part of such a big operation that relied heavily on your trademarked skill in years. Would you still have what it took? Could Taehyung rely on you as Jin said he could?

These doubts were misplaced of course. You were you. An Designated 3rd Ranked Officer of the International Espionage Agency.

And you weren’t going to fail again.

---

The morning sun blazed in your eyes as you and Taehyung drove through the countryside in silence. Your ring glittered in the sunlight as the roads wound on and became more treacherous. Taehyung had picked you up early, before the birds had even begun to sing, and definitely before you were willing to wake up.

“Get up, we leave in ten minutes,” he said, throwing your pillow on the ground. You heard his footsteps receding into your living room. No doubt to collect the boxes you had placed there the night before.

Taehyung was hard to get along with. A gruff exterior made it difficult to approach him and he held an air of superiority that was hard to breathe in. All in all, Taehyung really irritated you.

He held your freedom over you like a stick and was quick to put you in your place. Sometimes more than necessary. During your wedding shoot, he’d pointed out that if his bride ever wore the dress you were wearing he’d leave them at the altar. That stung a bit seeing as how you had felt rather confident in the dress up until that point.

The photos following his comment were unusable.

For a top operative, he was a massive dick.

Although, for the moment, he was silent. Focused on the road and not on you, which was preferable.

Until he opened his Goddamn mouth. “I’m killing Feng,” he declared as he rounded a sharp corner.

“I’m aware,” you sighed, looking out the window.

“I don’t see why we have to go through this ridiculous game,” Taehyung said, looking at his ring with contempt.

“Feng is a creature of caution. He’ll be on high alert during election season... We need to infiltrate now and make our presence less interesting than if we moved in a week before the election. We need patience,” you explained.

“You’re one to talk about patience,” he sneered. You bit your lip harshly, not wanting to get into it with him right now.

However, one prod can be too many.

“I heard she died.”

Dead silent.

“Pull over,” you breathed.

“What?” he asked, straining to hear you.

“I said pull the fucking car over!” you screamed. Taehyung jumped in his seat before doing as you asked. Before the moving truck had even come to a complete stop you opened the door and got out, stumbling slightly on the uneven ground.

“Come on, are you really going to pitch a fit right now?” Taehyung asked, getting out of the driver’s seat to follow you.

“I don’t give a damn if they fire me, working with you is next to impossible. I didn’t know someone could be so egotistical and rude until I met you,” you growled, stomping down the road.

“Where are you going? We’re miles from the nearest town,” Taehyung stated, standing with his arms crossed.

“Perfect, maybe I’ll die out here and it’ll save Jin the trouble,” you glowered, walking closer to the guard rail of the road. The crunching gravel behind you signalled Taehyung’s approach.

“Knock it off, we’ve got a job to do and I’m not leaving till it’s finished,” he said, grabbing your wrist. You turned quickly and faced him, cheeks red in anger.

“Then do it without me, you’re the one who said you could do this yourself. Money where your mouth is time, prove it.”

With that you yanked your wrist from his hands and kept moving down the road. “Jesus fuck you get on my nerves. Jin will be pissed if I show up to that house by myself. Come on Miss Undercover, get your ass back in the truck,” Taehyung stated.

“No, Taehyung. I will not be getting my ass back in the truck, you can forget it!”

“Fine, you know what? Fine. I give up, you stuck up bitch. Walk to the next town for all I care,” he growled, heading back towards the truck.

“You are such an asshole!” you screamed, turning to start walking in the opposite direction...

When you slipped.

The gravel beneath your feet gave way as you began sliding underneath the guardrail. You were high in the mountains during this portion of the trip, and the roads weren’t well taken care of.

Gravel ingrained new lacerations on your delicate flesh as you tried desperately to save yourself from the fall. Your calves were sticky with hot blood and dirt was clinging to the open wounds like a bacterial infested beauty.

Quickly, you latched onto the metal of the guardrail and attempted to pull yourself up. However, your wrist burned in the effort, scratched up due to your fall. The hot, sticky sensation of blood running down your arm made your hands slippery.

“Taehyung!” you screamed, hanging off of the weakened metal in fear.

There was no response. Blood was pounding in your ears at the thought of death so close. You’d never feared it until now... Because now it was a possibility.

“Taehyung, please!”

“Y/N?” Taehyung’s voice echoed in mild concern.

“Help me!”

The sound of dirt crunching at the approach of Taehyung’s footsteps sent relief through your veins. Taehyung’s face appeared before you as he wrapped his arms around your elbows and hauled you up onto the road. You were trembling in fear and exhaustion and Taehyung fell backwards, you on his chest.

You hadn’t realized it before... But you were crying.

“Fuck, your arm,” he said, sitting up. “Looks to be superficial, I think if we just-”

A loud sob broke through Taehyung’s sentence. His eyes went from your arm to your face as fat tears rolled down your cheeks. Suddenly you were crying loudly like a child, unable to stop. All the frustration and pent up emotions of the past months coming forward in the form of water flooding your eyes.

Taehyung watched in shock as you broke down in front of him. “Hey, Y/N, are you hurt somewhere else? What’s wrong?” he asked, trying to figure out how to make you stop.

“I-I ju-st-” and before you could finish your sentence cries won out. Taehyung looked at you quickly and confirmed that you weren’t injured anywhere else. Although you were still crying.

“Hey, shh,” he soothed, wiping your cheeks with his sleeve. “We’re not getting anywhere like this,” he sighed, looking down at his knees.

Eventually, your tears stopped and you were able to speak without cries interrupting your phrase.

“I’m sorry, I went too far,” Taehyung said, wrapping your arm in a bandage. You swallowed hard as nodded in acceptance. “Allies?” he asked. You took his hand as he pulled you to your feet.

“Allies,” you confirmed.

---

You pulled up to your new house roughly three hours later. Taehyung and you had come to a mutual understanding.

Help me help you.

You still weren’t particularly fond of him, but now working with him didn’t seem impossible.

The place you were going to be calling home for the next few months stood before you. A modest house painted a pale yellow greeted you and Taehyung. The garden out front wasn’t thriving, but all wasn’t lost. Then the shutters had been painted a soft blue, complimenting the structure wonderfully.

Maybe living here wouldn’t be so bad after all...

“Now, remember what we discussed,” you stated.

“Newlywed couples are very affectionate. We’re nice people, but cautious. Flirtatious but not disgustingly so. We are in love, first and foremost,” he repeated.

“Wonderful,” you smiled before planting a kiss on his cheek. Taehyung nodded before getting out of the truck.

“Oh Tae, it’s amazing!” you yelped, looking at the house before you.

“I’d certainly hope so,” he stated, coming to wrap an around around you comfortably. You leaned into his touch, looking at the house in its entirety.

“Can we go inside?” you asked, looking at the key in his hands.

“Of course babe,” he said, walking forwards and unlocking the door, but before you could walk in yourself, Taehyung wrapped his hand around your wrist.

“What?” you asked, disappointed.

“It’s bad luck for me not to carry you over the threshold,” he said, grinning. Your heart thudded for a moment. Taehyung’s boxy grin melted you, unprepared for the attack.

“Hang on, I don’t know if I-wah!” you said as Taehyung lifted you into the air. Seeing some of the neighbors come out at the commotion you quieted down. Slowly, Taehyung carried you bridal style into the home. Your heart stuttered lightly as you crossed over the threshold.

“Here you are,” he said, setting you down. You flushed pink and cleared your throat.

“Alright, looks like we need to start getting the big furniture first, then we can worry about the decorations later,” you blabbed on. Taehyung watched you with muted interest, appearing to be caring however you knew there were probably fifty other things he’d rather be doing.

“Can’t we rest? I was just driving for over eight hours,” he whined, sitting on the floor in defiance.

“You can sit all you’d like but I’m going to start bringing boxes in,” you stated, turning and heading towards the truck.

You examined the perimeter when exiting the building. The neighbors that had come out of their house when you and Taehyung pulled up had since hurried back inside. Perhaps they were merely minding their own business or watching. This was a tight knit town. People didn’t move in nor did they move out. People stayed the same here, you’d be a large topic of conversation amongst these people.

Taehyung walked up behind you and rested his head in the crook of your neck. “What do you see?” he asked.

“Nothing much,” you announced, a smile on your face as if he just said something endearing. “I’m certain they are playing the waiting game. Seeing how interesting we are, how cautious they need to be. Push and pull, when they push we pull,” you stated.

“I hate waiting games...”

“Get ready for four months of waiting.”

---

The night air blew through the home in slow waves. You watched as the street was lit with a flickering lamp roughly twenty feet away. No one had shown up at your abode, and you didn’t think they would for a while.

This wasn’t an American sitcom where the new neighbors move in and everyone starts baking pies. This was a strategic move on the townspeople and Feng’s part. Allowing time for observations and possible encounters was a key part in the beginning stages of any sort of stake out/undercover mission.

Feng was already suspicious. You didn’t have to know anything about his involvement in the town for that to be a solid fact. His most devout following, holed up in a small town now being invaded by outsiders? Background checks were no doubt in progress.

And they’d find exactly what you wanted. Lives painted like pictures in a story book. Rocky beginnings for Taehyung, where he grew up on the streets but was adopted into a good home and cared for until he met you in college. Love at first sight turned into marriage. And here you were, married, a home to call your own. No doubt children in the future. Perfect, but Taehyung’s dent was what made it less suspicious. A crime record thrown in for good luck. You having one parking ticket...

One you definitely refuted.

Before the two of you had went to sleep you managed to get your mattress in your bedroom and Taehyung unpacked a box of dishes. Although the emotional day had taken its toll on the pair of you. Grabbing your sheets you made the bed and you and Taehyung collapsed down onto the mattress happily.

Although, the same nightmare kept running through your mind...

The day you made your mistake.

The day you hurt an innocent.

The very reason you were in this mission right now, was because you were impatient. You wanted the glory of taking down a criminal, not caring about the life that would be at risk because of your greed. That day haunted you...

You were sitting up in bed, looking over your phone to distract yourself. Cell reception wasn’t the greatest here so you’d settled for scrolling through pictures. Photos of you and friends that had been given names and assigned cell phones as well. A mother and father, a sibling for good measure. So many people strung in this elaborate web of lies.

You fell on a photo you didn’t recognize. One of you, drinking coffee in the office. You looked flustered, stressed and not wholly interested in what you were doing. Your eyes wandered to Taehyung who was sleeping in the bed beside you.

He seemed peaceful, which was impressive seeing as how you were struggling to catch an ounce of sleep.

“If you keep staring I’m going to think you want something from me,” Taehyung murmured.

You flinched at his voice, but otherwise remained passive. No wonder he looked so peaceful.

“Can’t sleep either?” You asked, locking your phone and setting it on the floor. Your bed wasn’t on the frame yet and your bedside tables are still in the truck.

“I don’t sleep much no matter where I am,” he sighed, sitting up and rubbing his face.

“It’s quiet here,” you announced, eyes casting over the moving truck in the front yard and for sale sign gone from the lawn. Taehyung lazily rested his head on your shoulder. You did your best to subtle the flinch from the unexpected contact. You had to get used to Taehyung’s displays of affection. People could be watching you at any moment.

“These people here are creepy, almost like they aren’t real,” he whispered.

“We technically aren’t real either. Fake lives made for us like a script for a play,” you concluded.

“But we’re using our real names, isn’t that a big taboo for this sort of work?” he asked.

“Perhaps, but, you respond naturally to your own name. Even a variation of it, if I were to call you Kihyun or something, your response would look forced. Unnatural. But calling you Taehyung,” you said, looking at him.

Subtly he tilted his head towards you, waiting for you to continue. He acknowledged his name without registering it in his brain. Something very common that a lot of people don’t notice. But, it’s easy to observe if you know what you’re looking for.

“Interesting notion,” Taehyung mused.

“Pseudo-Science. Barely science,” you joked. Taehyung breathed a laugh before pulling you back down into bed with him. You squealed unattractively while struggling against his embrace. Taehyung hissed in disapproval.

“You know, I’ve never seen a new bride so unwilling to let her husband hold her,” he reprimanded.

“Perhaps if you played the role of a husband better, I wouldn’t be so unwilling,” you scoffed. Taehyung just rolled his eyes and kept you in his arms.

“Just shut up and go to bed, before you give me a fucking headache,” he complained.

“Good night Taehyung.”

---

The next morning you woke to the smell of coffee brewing. You got up and found the mattress empty beside you. Taehyung was already awake and the smell of food also alluded to his state of alert. You grabbed your robe from atop the boxed besides your mattress and pulled it on, heading towards the kitchen.

Taehyung stood next to the stove with two mismatching mugs and silverware that definitely didn’t belong together.

“Don’t you dare bring out my mother’s nice ceramics for this,” you warned, smiling and wrapping your arms around him. Taehyung bumped your hip with his while handing you a mug.

“I put creamer in it, I hope that’s alright,” he smiled. You nodded and took a sip, already warming up from the chill of the morning.

“It’s awesome, thank you,” you sighed. “Fuck it’s going to suck getting the rest of our shit in here,” you whined. Taehyung’s eyes bulged at your vulgar tone.

“Perhaps we could hold off on that for a while and eat breakfast?” he asked, holding a plate up for you. Quickly, you took it and hurried towards the island to eat. Taehyung laughed as you jumped up on the counter and used the built in appliance as your couch.

“This is so good,” you moaned, licking your lips. The thick coating of grease from the bacon made your lips shiny and Taehyung found himself staring, despite not wanting to. You wiggled a little, bobbing your head back and forth while you ate.

“You’re, like, dancing on our island,” Taehyung said, rubbing his face in disbelief.

“Food is good, sometimes you just gotta dance with the good things in life. Like this bacon, deserves a quality head shimmy,” you noted.

“I’m glad I could provide you with head shimmy worthy bacon this morning,” Taehyung stated.

“My head shimmies are only for the most elite pieces of bacon, so consider yourself lucky,” you snarked. He laughed and began to eat his food as well.

It was silent, save for the clinking of your utensils on mismatched plates.

You were thinking to yourself about your performance. Had anyone seen you so far, they would assume you were a happy couple. However, you weren’t that touchy feely. Newlyweds normally couldn’t keep their hands off each other. If you didn’t increase intimacy, then no doubt your facade would start to crack.

“We should probably have sex today,” you noted, hopping off the counter.

The sound of Taehyung choking filled the room.

“Babe?” you asked, hurrying over and rubbing his back. Taehyung’s face was red and he was obviously startled by your statement.

“Jesus, fuck! Are you trying to kill me?” he asked, while you got him a cup of water.

Well, a bowl of water is what you managed. He gulped down the liquid as his breathing evened.

“Taehyung, we’re a couple. That just got married. We live alone. What else do you think we would be doing?” you asked, raising an eyebrow.

“Well, probably setting the house up? Starting to investigate a litte-”

“Taehyung, there are no doubt people watching this house. If we don’t act like we love each other, then we’re already doomed. We aren’t going to have real sex, just throw a blanket over us and then dry hump me or something,” you said, trying to think of ideas.

“Really? Dry hump you? Under a blanket?” he said.

Taehyung didn’t find the idea of dry humping you repulsive, it was just less fun than actually getting to fuck you. Because, oh boy, hate fucking you would be incredible. Although, it wouldn’t be the passionate love making that you were probably trying to convey.

“Okay, but I can’t promise that I won’t get a boner in the middle of it,” he sighed.

“Taehyung I will bite your ear off,” you warned.

“So kinky already, darling,” he breathed.

“Okay, you stink, go take a shower,” you demanded, pulling away. Taehyung huffed and pouted, following you closely.

“Baby~” he whined, wrapping his arms around your waist.

“Taehyung,” you smiled, however your voice was severely irritated.

“Let’s have fake sex, then I can go take a shower, yeah?” he urged, pulling you against his body.

To an on looker, it was no doubt a boyfriend or husband trying to coerce his wife into getting frisky. But you did want to get more of the truck unpacked.

“Not now, shower then come help me unpack some more,” you stated, placing a hesitant peck on his lips.

Taehyung frowned before pulling you in for a deeper kiss. You fumbled lightly on your feet, getting pulled closer into him. Taehyung wrapped your body up in his arms and moved his mouth against yours aggressively. He sucked on the delicate skin of your lips, so hard you were certain they’d bruise.

“Ouch, Tae,” you winced.

“Mmm, you actually kiss pretty good,” he murmured, moving back in to seal his lips against yours.

“Loving, tender kisses Taehyung. Not trying to fucking eat my face.”

Taehyung moved away and tried to act playful when he smacked your butt before heading to the bathroom. You rolled your eyes before going to get the keys for the truck.

Again the morning was just as silent. They really must be scoping the situation out. Much like you and Taehyung were. There were a lot of variables right now. Many ways for the whole plan to go wrong. It made you uneasy. But this was your specialty.

Making a new life here was going to be difficult. However, right now wasn’t the time to be doubting your skills. There was too much at stake. You weren’t going to be the reason more people died and another criminal got away.

You started pulling in more boxes, managing to get the frame of the couch out of the truck and into the living room as well. You were sweating and your poor arm stung with a fresh scrape from the day before. You looked at the couch and decided that right there would be good enough for now. Running out to the truck you grabbed the couch cushions and throw pillows so you could sit down for a minute and relax.

After placing the last pillow down the sound of the water shutting off made you turn your head. Taehyung emerged shortly after with his boxers on and drying his hair with a towel. Rendered speechless for a moment, you cleared your throat before turning back to the box that was being used as an impromptu coffee table. Lots of picture frames sat inside.

Many of you and Taehyung and some of you with your family. Taking out your wedding photo you smiled. You knew that Taehyung was pissed in the photo cause you had just stepped on his toe in your heels.

Warm arms wrapped around your waist and you relaxed into his embrace. “Bathroom isn’t bugged, so at least we have that privacy,” he murmured into your neck.

You nodded and set the picture down. Bending forward you grabbed a couple other frames and moved to place them in different areas.

“Didn’t you say we should bring in the rest of the big furniture before putting the fragile stuff up? We don’t want it to get broken baby,” Taehyung scolded.

“It’ll be alright. Plus I want to look at these now,” You pouted. Taehyung took a couple and started helping you put them up as well.

You two started decorating and joking around. From the outside it was a happy couple having fun. However it was a strategic move. Making the two of you look non threatening was the most important role right now. Taehyung was set to start his job at City Hall in four days. You were to start working at home as soon as you could.

But there was much more preparations to make. Like lunch.

“Baby, want some lunch?” You asked, turning to him. Taehyung shrugged and brought his hands to your stomach.

“Mm, not hungry for food babe,” he spoke as he brought you into his embrace. You wanted to cringe but forced your body to relax in his arms.

“Honestly, you can’t keep your mind from what I said earlier,” you whispered.

“Hey, if we want to make it believable you should just let me fuck you here in the living room,” he growled.

You felt a shiver run down your spine, despite your best efforts. His voice rattled your bones and made you want to break. Newlyweds normally couldn’t wait to set up a bed nicely...

You could fake it here in the kitchen.

Out of the corner of your eyes, you saw a reflection of light. It was either a camera or binoculars. Someone was watching you both right now.

Bringing your mouth to his ear, you stated instructions. “Taehyung, there’s someone watching us right now. Reflection at 11:00 o’clock,” you informed.

“I noticed,” he said, furrowing his brow to make it appear as if you said something intimate.

“We need to do it out here,” you stated.

“This seems like a lot of work,” he moaned.

“Kiss me and I’ll continue,” you murmured. Taehyung brought your mouth away from his ear and connected it to yours. You moved against his body eagerly, rolling your hips against his. Taehyung groaned and buckled against your body, biting your lip as you whined into his mouth.

“How do we do this?” He asked as he came away for air, moving to kiss your neck and shoulder longingly.

“The couch, I’ll ride you. Your back will be to the observer. So, we’ll mime the action of you and I having sex. But really we’ll just be dry humping,” you explained.

“Okay, I’m going to pick you up and take you there,” he announced.

You blushed. You realized you’d much rather Taehyung grind against you on a couch for an audience than carry you to the couch. You were a special agent, specialized in camouflage and undercover operations... yet you still fussed when your jeans didn’t fit the same. You still got mad at yourself for eating the whole tub of ice cream... again...

“Taehyung wait a sec-ah!”

You were hoisted in the air and Taehyung carried you to the couch. You clung to him like a child and you couldn’t help the unattractive squeak you made as he threw you onto the cushions.

“You’re not going to convince them you love me if you’re acting like a teenager with stupid insecurities,” he whispered. You pulled him in for a kiss to conceal the frown and no doubt rude remark that would escape if you allowed yourself the option.

His lips trailed your jawline, making you squirm underneath him. Taehyung grinned at your pathetic reactions to his actions. You gripped his shoulders, pulling him out of view of your observer... well the one you knew of.

“I’m going to take off my shirt,” you said. Taehyung nodded, holding your hips as he kissed your lips with longing. You reached for the hem of your shirt and pulled it over your head, throwing it to the floor. Taehyung made an odd noise at the back of his throat, making you raise your eyebrow in confusion.

“God, I didn’t know you were hiding those under the stupid office uniforms, holy shit,” he complained.

“Taehyung!”

“How far can I go?” He asked, coming in to kiss your neck.

“T-this is as far as I want, are you okay?” You asked, making sure his comfort was recognized too.

“Absolutely,” he breathed, coming towards your chest with open mouthed kisses. You tangled your fingers in his hair, encouraging him to move more.

“T-Taehyung,” You whimpered as he bit at your bra.

“One day I’ll get you out of this,” he growled before hauling you up and onto his lap. The straps of your bra fell down onto your biceps and Taehyung’s pupils blew up.

You leaned down and placed a delicate kiss on his nose, cheeks and finally one to his lips. He adjusted his hold on you and you nodded. Grabbing your pathetic shorts you mimed moving them out of the way, then you moved to get Taehyung situated too.

“How should I...?” He asked, raising a brow.

“Just, I’ll dry hump you. It’s fine,” you breathed. He seemed like he was going to protest when you gripped right above his pelvic line. His hip jolted, miming the reaction of you taking him out of his pants. Giving a demure smile, you slowly shuffled forward to place your center against his lap.

Taehyung breathed in sharply, biting his lip hard. “What’s wrong?” You asked, placing a hand on his cheek gently.

“I’m fighting every urge in my body right now, so just hurry up,” he growled. A small shudder ran down your spine as his words took weight in your head.

Would it be so bad for you to give in and let him fuck you here?

Yes, yes it would.

“Sorry, sorry,” you apologized lamely, moving your hips against his gently.

“Fuck,” he croaked, gripping your waist tightly.

“A-Ah, Taehyung,” you whimpered, placing your hands over his. You looked up at the ceiling, as if you were in utter bliss.

“So good baby,” Taehyung encouraged, “keep going.”

“Fuck, Taehyung,” you growled.

This was bad, your mind was starting to cloud with the burning arousal beginning to raise in your stomach. You really were starting to want him. The way his brow furrowed, it really looked like he was filled with pleasure at the moment.

“I might come in my boxers,” he huffed out as you ground down particularly hard against him.

“That’s fine, a real orgasm is better than a fake one,” you rationalized out loud.

“Shit, babe, Y/N,” he moaned, bringing you in for a sloppy kiss. You open your mouth and let his hot tongue slide in to greet yours.

Kissing Taehyung was quickly turning into a drug you didn’t want to give up. Fuck, it felt so good. His plush lips against your own, practically forcing your mouth to mould with his. Taehyung was gripping your hips, almost as if he was using your body to get himself off. It was so dirty, raunchy and hot. Hearing his soft whimpers made you wet, cheeks bright red at the idea.

You cried out for real when your clit bumped the growing bulge in his boxers.

“That’s the hottest sound I’ve heard, fuck I love you,” he growled out. You squeaked out an ‘I love you too,’ soon after. Taehyung planted slobbery kisses along your collarbones and chest as he panted harshly against your skin.

“Cum inside me, Taehyung,” you moaned out, feeling a climax brewing in your lower stomach.

“Ah fuck!” Taehyung sobbed out, bucking his hips wildly against your own. You just needed that little push, something to get you over the edge.

“So close, so close,” breathed into the air. Taehyung heard your silent pleas, because soon you felt the bulge of his hot erection directly against your little nub, sending you spiraling into the precipice of bliss.

Taehyung cried out your name, holding you closer to his frame. You collapsed against him, feeling your panties sticking to you uncomfortably. Taehyung shivered, his hot breath fanning across your cooling skin.

You shakily ran your fingers through his hair, kissing his sweaty hairline with a tenderness that could only be given in post-orgasmic bliss. Shit, what have you done?

“Tae,” you said, urging him away from you.

“Hmmm?” he whispered, groggily.

“You and I both need to clean up,” you said, coughing in discomfort at the end.

“Oh, shit, sorry,” he said.

Helping you up you took a glance at the window in your peripheral. They weren’t watching any longer. “We’re clear,” you said, rushing towards the bathroom to clean yourself up.

You shut the door and slid down in, trying not to let your heart beat out of your chest wildly. The sound of the other shower turning on again signalled that you were clear to exit, going to the bathroom before heading out to get another pair of panties and shorts on.

You were certain you wouldn’t sleep at all tonight.

---

The day finally came when Taehyung began his first day at work. You fussed over him all morning. Tying his tie for him, making him a travel mug of coffee and breakfast for him. Taehyung had to admit, it wasn’t so bad having you for a wife.

“Baby, I really gotta go or I’m going to be late, on my first day!”

“Okay okay, just one more thing,” you smiled before leaning in a placing a delicate kiss on his cheek. “Have a great day,” you encouraged.

“I will, don’t miss me too much,” he teased. As he unlocked the front door you were both surprised to find two men standing there.

Taehyung immediately shut the door off a little more, protecting you from their view.

“Can I help you gentleman?”

“We’re here on behalf of Mr. Feng. He wanted to welcome you to the neighborhood,” they both presented Taehyung with some kind of campaign propaganda.

“Thank you, I’m going to be late for work. Baby, have a good day. Gentleman,” Taehyung said, taking the flyer and shutting the door. You watched as Taehyung moved down the driveway, the men in suits following behind him like a funeral procession. Your eyes followed your husband until he was out of sight, making you shift with unease.

This would be the first time you’d be apart since the whole mission began. For some reason your chest was tight, something you hadn’t been expecting. It was ridiculous. The only reason you were feeling this way is because you weren’t really alone. There was always someone watching. You were certain that was the cause of your unease. It had to be.

Taehyung texted you a few times throughout the day. Making your chest loosen slightly, knowing he made it there safely. Even if he was a jerk, that didn’t mean you wanted anything bad to happen to him. Well, nothing too bad...

You started your day by moving some more furniture around, getting the kitchen table put together and all set for later on in the evening. You were going to make dinner tonight before Taehyung came home so he had something to eat after a long day at work.

You couldn’t place it, but knowing someone was coming home to you was... comforting? Even if it was the pain in the ass Taehyung, the thought didn’t bother you as much as you believed it should.

The rest of your day passed by uneventfully, doing some data analysis on your laptop for work. Something Taehyung no doubt picked out for you to do because of your detestment of data worksheets back at the office. Dick.

But the company you worked for didn’t know anything but you were a newlywed needing some extra cash on the side while her husband went out to work for the day. Plus, this gave you another set of alibis if needed. She was on her computer at such and such a time. Because no doubt it was being tracked.

You pulled up your messages and sent a quick one to Taehyung. He responded quickly, sending a few hearts after he told you he’d be home soon.

Quickly you headed to the kitchen and began the real test. Cooking. You weren’t a bad cook by any means, but you usually cooked ramen noodles and things of that nature. So a full fucking chicken was a little intimidating.

Cutting the vegetables and starting the oven went smoothly. You buttered the chicken, slathering the meat in butter and garlic, throwing some thyme in there for good measure. You remember Taehyung mentioning that his mom used to make a recipe similar to this. One he loved.

The idea of a small Taehyung sitting at the counter, begging for some food made your head spin. W-What are you thinking? This is just a mission, and Taehyung is just a guy who is assigned to be your partner. That’s all this is. All it ever will be.

Taehyung came home just as you were pulling the chicken out of the oven. He came over and pressed a sweet kiss to your cheek before looking at the mashed potatoes, broiled vegetables and chicken that were being placed on the table by his wife. You bent over after dropping something on the floor. His mouth watered at the sight. The food also looked good...

“Baby, look at all this. Did you really make this stuff?” he asked, coming over and setting his briefcase on the counter.

“Yeah, it was a bitch and a half to make though, let me tell you what. This chicken here, if it weren’t already dead I would’ve taken my pistol and shot it,” you huffed, remembering the tying and stuffing and everything that made you aggravated with cooking the damn thing in the first place.

“Well, it looks great, can I have a seat?” he asked.

“Yeah! Go for it, I’ll get us some wine,” you said. Running over to the cabinet and pulling out two wine glasses.

“I see we’re going fancy tonight,” he said.

“Well for my husband, anything,” you smiled.

“Thank you baby,” he answered as you set a wine glass next to him.

“Next, do you want red or white?” you asked.

“Red,” Taehyung said, marveling at the domestic nature of this interaction.

Is this what normal people did? Came home to a freshly cooked meal by their significant other and just talked about casual things? Not coming home to an empty house. Stitching themselves up after a bad knife fight. Watching as their blood went down the drain... Was this the marital bliss he heard about?

You came over with a bottle, popping the cork and pouring him a sample to see if he liked it. “How does it taste? Want a little more?” you asked. Taehyung took you in during this moment. You were beautiful. Cheeks flushed and looking flustered as you tried to play your role of dutiful wife. It made him want to paint again...

“Yeah, I’ll have a glass. It’s good, you should have some too,” he said as he watched the berry colored liquid fill the glass.

“I will,” you announced, sitting across from him and pouring yourself some as well.

Taehyung looked at you as you swallowed down some of the bitter sweet liquid in your glass, throat bobbing as it pushed the alcohol down and into your bloodstream. Cheeks turning pink he smiled as the two of you continued to drink.

“Y/N, honestly, this meal was fantastic,” Taehyung said, looking at you as the second bottle of wine overwhelmed him.

“Thanks, I tried,” you stated, swallowing down the remaining wine in your glass.

Taehyung leaned forward on the table, looking at you with interest.

“What did you want to do before becoming part of the agency?” He asked, nonchalant.

You looked up at him, eyes bigger than your head.

“Tae! What if-“

“No one is listening, believe me,” he said, grinning at you with his boxy grin.

“I don’t think-“

“Don’t be such a priss, tell me,” he urged.

“I’m not a priss!”

“Whatever, just, tell me something about yourself. Something interesting,” he pleaded.

“Fine, fine... I-I wanted to be a ballerina okay?”

Taehyung’s eyes widened.

Then he snorted.

“Aren’t ballerina’s supposed to be graceful and shit? You tripped putting on your pants this morning,” he smirked.

“I’ll have you know that for seven years I danced five days a week for four hours a day,” you protested.

“Prove it,” he scoffed.

“Fine, I will,” you said, standing up.

Slowly bringing yourself together you started a familiar routine you did all the time as a child.

Lifting your leg up you grabbed your thigh, straightening your leg above your head before lowering it to your other thigh, spinning slightly before getting up on pointe. Taehyung’s eyes were watching your every move. It looked like you needed a partner. He stood and grabbed your waist as you stretched your arms out.

Jumping in his grasp you turned to look at him.

“Taehyung, what are you-“

“Just feel, keep going,” he said, taking your hand in his.

You weren’t sure if it was the wine or your own emotions taking over, but before you knew it, your lips had crashed onto his. Taehyung grunted in surprise. You wrapped your arms around his neck and urged him to kiss you deeper. Licking at his lips, begging for entrance. Taehyung didn’t hesitate. He opened his mouth and greeted your tongue with his. The wet smacking sounds had you throbbing beneath your jeans, something you were desperate to get out of.

Grinding against his front Taehyung lost his breath to you. “Fuck, mm, like that babygirl.”

You whimpered when you felt his prominent bulge for the first time this evening. Shit your panties were sticking to you at this point. But Taehyung pulled away a few moments later.

“We shouldn’t do this,” he murmured against your swelling lips.

“Why not?” You whined, gripping his hands as they settled against your hips.

“We can’t go back once we do this. Having interpersonal relations in the field, it gets messy. What if I get hurt or kidnapped? Then they have leverage on you,” he explained.

“Let me at least suck you off,” you complained. Taehyung groaned in the back of his throat.

“Fuck, we shouldn’t,” he stated, brushing the hair away from your face.

“Please, please let me taste you,” you begged, your wine addled mind taking over. “Do you not want my mouth?”

“Fuck... Yes, I do want that mouth on me more than you can believe,” he said, running his thumb along your wet lower lip. Taking his thumb in between your lips you smiled and tugged on the flesh gently. Taehyung growled at your teasing before looking at you with his dark eyes. “Get on your knees for me,” he commanded. You nodded frantically before falling to the floor in front of him. Taehyung watched with rapt attention as you undid his slacks and brought out his semi-hard erection from his underwear.

Your mouth salivated at the sight of his thick cock sitting in your warm palm. Taehyung hissed when you ran your hand over his sensitive length for the first time. Your heart was pounding in your chest. Blood rushing to your head, making it spin. But all you cared about was pleasing the man in front of you. Without much hesitation you gave a fat lick from the base of his cock to the head. Taehyung moaned, his head lulling back slightly. You brought the head into your mouth, suckling gently, moving your tongue around the sensitive area.

“Don’t tease me,” he snarled out, looking down at you with dangerous eyes. Complying with his demands you brought a majority of him into your mouth and throat, coughing lightly when he hit the back. He groaned in pleasure, finding your hair and pulling it into his fist. “That’s it baby, suck my dick like a good girl,” he praised, watching as strings of slobber started to form from your mouth to his cock. Bobbing your head back and forth, you built a rhythm for him.

You hollowed out your cheeks, moving your tongue underneath his shaft and around to stimulate him. Taehyung huffed, trying hard not to come down your throat already. He was intoxicated not only by the wine but by you as well. Your beautiful eyes looking at him underneath your lashes. He could barely breathe when you looked at him like that. Those big eyes sparkling with lust and want.

Taehyung rolled his hips forward slightly, gauging your reaction. You moaned at the force promised behind those hips of his, as he pushed himself further down your throat.

“Can I fuck your mouth baby? Would you let me fuck that goregous mouth of yours?” he asked, sprinkling praise in with his request. You nodded fast, relaxing your throat and giving him the thumbs up to go ahead.

He didn’t wait a moment longer before he pushed himself into your mouth and down your throat. Taehyung whined at the tight feeling of your mouth and throat closing in on him, feeling like a vice against his cock. Pulling back out he let you suck in a couple breaths before picking his pace up again. You gagged on his dick, making noise and moaning in pleasure. Taehyung was lost above you, focusing on the sensations of your moaning against him.

“Mmm, fuck baby, just like that,” he breathed out, watching and drool collected on your chin. It was filthy, messy and perfect. You took him entirely, nose touching his pelvis and you swallowed hard. Taehyung cried out, gripping your shoulders and pulling out of your throat and mouth. You coughed at the actions, not suspecting for it to be so intense, but god if you didn’t want him to cum in your mouth. You needed it.

“Tae~” you whimpered, shuffling forwards on your knees to try to put him back in your mouth. But he stopped you.

“Listen baby, this is going to go one of two ways. Either you keep going and I cum down your throat, or I can shove this cock in that pussy and cum inside you that way. Which would you prefer?”

Your body shook with want at the second option.

“Inside my pussy,” you said, already moving to shrug your sweater off and stepping out of your jeans.

“Come here then baby,” he said, opening his arms for you. You rushed forwards, bringing your lips to his before you could even think about anything else. Taehyung opens his mouth and licked your lips perversely. You opened your mouth at once, letting him take full control of the embrace.

“Taehyung, bedroom,” you urged. He at least heard part of what you were saying, because the next thing you knew, your body was being lowered to the mattress in your room.

“Let’s take this off shall we?” he said, removing your tank top and looking at you in your bra. “Fuck baby you have pretty tits,” he growled. You moaned at the praise and eagerly un buckled the back and let the offending material fall off your arms and onto the floor. Taehyung was in action before you could blink, taking a nipple in his mouth and sucking on it harshly.

The sensation sent tingles right to the tips of your toes, making them curl and stretch from his warm mouth on you. With his free hands he held your hip with one and groped your chest with the other, stimulating your body and causing you to arch up into his touch. Taehyung smirked against your skin, laving his tongue against your pert nipple, making you hiss in reaction.

“Such pretty noises you make for me, isn’t that right precious girl?” he said, trailing his lips down your body.

“Taehyung, please don’t tease me. Give me your dick, please,” you whimpered, rolling your hips up against him.

“Tsk tsk, little one. So greedy already,” he smiled.

“Please give me your cock, Taehyung, please,” you begged. “Want it so deep in my pussy, stuffing me full until I can’t breathe. Please please please, give me your cock.”

“Fuck, how could I deny such a sweet request. Alright baby, let me just warm you up a touch okay?” Taehyung pulled your panties down your legs, revealing your wet center to him. “You’re drenched babygirl, who did this to you?”

“You, Taehyung, you did,”

“That’s right precious girl,” he said as he lowered two fingers to your entrance. You relaxed when he ran his middle and pointer finger up your slit, before sinking them inside of you. Taehyung watched as you took him right up to the knuckle. He groaned at the feeling of you, tight and hot around his fingers. He could just picture how you’d feel around his cock and it made him throb with desire.

“Taehyung!” You cried, gripping the sheets underneath you desperately.

“Gonna come?”

“I-I don’t-hah-Taehyung,” you whined out.

“I’ve barely touched this sweet little pussy and I can already feel you clenching like crazy, do you want to come baby? I’d love to see what you look like when you come, I bet you look beautiful,” he said, picking up his speed.

“Taehyung, hngh, please,” you begged, looking at the ceiling with tears forming in your eyes.

“Come for me, come all over this bed darling,” he cooed, using his thumb to stimulate your clit before watching your body tense and finally-finally-release.

“Taehyung!” You cried out, back arching off the bed, shuddering in your orgasm as your mind went blank from everything except the feeling of unadulterated pleasure.

Taehyung smiled at your fucked out face, eyes misty with tears.

“What a good girl, you came all over me shit, that was so sexy,” he growled. You whimpered and reached for him, wanting his hands on your body.

“Give me your cock now? Please Taehyung?”

“Whatever you want darling, absolutely,�� he agreed, lining his cock up with your sopping entrance.

“Fuck!” You cried out when his cock finally entered you. It was so thick, filling you up so well. Taehyung gripped your hips. Letting you ease onto him so he didn’t hurt you.

“That’s it, what a snug little cunt you have,” he grinned, pressing kisses to your shoulders while he pumped himself inside of you deeply. Taehyung has a hard time thinking clearly like this. The wine and you making him drunk.

“Taehyung!” You cried out. “So big.” You felt his cock rubbing that spot inside you that made you see stars. Everything was blurry as Taehyung fucked his dick into you harshly. The lewd smacking sounds of skin on skin made your mind whirl with lust. Taehyung wasn’t in a much better state. Watching as he fucked you, tits bouncing and your ass hitting his pelvis in just the right way.

But he wanted to see your face when you came.

“Lie on your side for me,” Taehyung said, easing out of you gently.

You hissed at the loss, but did as he asked, laying on your side.

“Leg up,” he encouraged, nestling down beside you. You raised your leg as he instructed, moaning loudly when his cock re-entered you from this angle.

“How is it? How is getting fucked by my big dick baby? Can you handle it?” He asked, laying his hand flat against your lower stomach.

“I can take it, I’m-I’m a big girl,” you huffed, head lolling back into Taehyung’s neck.

“I know you can take it, does my baby want it harder?” He questioned, giving a few deep thrusts against you, making your pussy clench down hard.

“Anything, I want anything you’ll give me Taehyung,” you pleaded.

“Anything you say, well then, hold on,” he stated, running his hand between your legs and toying with your throbbing clit. He nestled his head against your cheek, kissing and nipping at your tender flesh.

“Ta-ae-hyung,” you whimpered out. “Feels so good.”

“You too, so fucking tight around my cock. Can barely move... I should’ve fucked you with three fingers to get you ready for this dick huh? Or do you like a little pain with your pleasure, huh?”

Crying out when he pushed against your little nub forcing you back on his dick. Taehyung smiled as you ground your ass against him, trying to get whatever you could from him like this. He didn’t care about tomorrow, all he cared about was you right now. A beautiful woman losing yourself on his dick.

“Taehyung, so close, right there. Yes!” You whined, gripping his hand for some kind of stability.

He interlocked your fingers, using his other hand to continue abusing your clit. “Right here baby, like this?” He questioned.

“Yes! Yes yes,” you said, tears forming in the corners of your eyes for the second time that night.

Taehyung breath came in soft pants against your neck as he worked himself up as well. Your velvet walls were doing him in. Normally he’d last much longer, but with you he couldn’t help but see bliss right around the corner.

“Baby gonna cum,” he warned you.

“In me, cum inside me,” you blabbered out, gripping his hand tightly.

“Fuck-shit!” Taehyung cursed, letting instinct take over as he fucked into you aggressively. It was hard to think straight.

Not too soon after a shot of warmth encompassed your stomach. That sent you over, eyes blacking out as you slumped against Taehyung who was still cumming.

Giving a few more weak thrusts, Taehyung pulled out, looking at the mess the two of you had made.

“Fuck you look pretty full of my cum like that,” he commented, kissing your shoulder softly.

“Mmm, Taehyung?”

“Yes baby,” he said, moving his head up to peer down at you.

“Washcloth, I-I don’t think I can walk right now,” you said, turning pink at the notion.

“I’ll be right back, hang on,” he said, standing up and heading to the bathroom.

As the light flicked on, you felt your eyes fall, heavy with the need for sleep.

---

“What the fuck are we going to do?” You yelled at Taehyung.

The pair of you woke up the next morning, dazed and confused. Taehyung was the first one to notice you two were royally fucked.

“I came in you, shit,” he said, looking at the obvious stain on the bed.

“Taehyung!” You cried out, smacking your forehead with your palm.

“Hey don’t get mad at me! You’re the one who initiated all of this!”

“Don’t pin this all on me, you could’ve rejected me!” You said.

“I tried! But you looked at me and then I-uh... Well... Here we are,” he announced.

“Taehyung, if we fuck up this mission I’m a dead woman. That includes me getting pregnant!”

“Can’t I just go buy you some plan b or something like that?”

“We’re married, if they caught you buying plan b then our facade is over!”

“Then I don’t know what you want me to do! I can’t undo what we did!”

You rubbed your temples, trying not to stress over the fact that you could possibly be carrying Kim Taehyung’s child.

“We have to go with this, just, remember our mission. Now hug me, cause we argued,” you said, opening your arms.

Taehyung moved forward, wrapping you up in his embrace.

“Whatever happens, we’re allies. I’ll cover your back if you cover mine,” he said, fingers splayed across your back.

“I got your six.”

---

The following weeks were surprisingly calm. Taehyung went to work and came home. You usually had a meal ready for the two of you. It was domestic ‘bliss’.

Except for the fact that you and Taehyung wouldn’t barely look at each other. It was hard, feeling the anxiety and panic and not having anyone to bounce it off of. Taehyung was affectionate when you said to be, and the two of you acted your part when you were out in public but... things were different now. And there’s nothing either of you could do about it.

Taehyung came home a little later than usual, you sipping on some wine and staring off into space. He walked over and set his bag down, before kissing your head and pulling you in for a hug.

“I have some good news,” Taehyung said.

“Yeah? What is it?” you asked, not looking at him.

“I’m in the running to become mayor!”

Glass shattered on the floor.

“Oh shit,” Taehyung said, stepping back so as not to step on any glass.

You were frozen in place.

“Taehyung do you know what that means for these people? To Feng?”

“What? Like you honestly think I’ll win? You’re crazy,” he scoffed.

“Taehyung what if you do win? What’ll they do when this mission is over? What will they do when they find out their mayor-” he quickly moved in for a kiss. You wiggled against him for a moment before going still. Taehyung worked his mouth over yours with ease, something you weren’t expecting, but weren’t upset over either.

“God you are so annoying sometimes. Listen,” he said, moving so he could start cleaning up the glass you dropped. “If I get an inside position, show Feng that I’m serious about wanting to be loyal to him? Then I’ll get inside information that’ll be influential in his takedown,” he explained.

“Taehyung if you think they’ll give it to an outsider than you’re dumber than I thought,” you sneered.

“You don’t see them the way I do. Don’t interact with them the way I do. I’ve gained their trust, Y/N, something you haven’t done,” he said matter-of-factly.

“I’m a housewife, what do you expect me to do?” you said, placing your hands on your hips.

“The guys and I are going out to dinner tomorrow night. Be my date, and play nice with their wives. See if you can get any information out of them,” he offered.

“Okay, I can play the doting wife role,” you said to him, standing up.

“Hey watch out!”

“Ouch!” You hissed in pain as a shard of glass cut deep into your heel.

“Y/N, watch where you walk I wasn’t done cleaning yet,” he said, rubbing his face.

Then, his face went pale as he saw the crimson liquid coming from your body.

“Ow, fuck,” you whimpered, using the counter to balance as you looked at your foot in pain. Taehyung quickly swept up the rest before he was kneeling down to take a look at you.

“It’s pretty deep, I think you need stitches,” he said, examining your bloodied heel.

“I-I’m fine,” you whispered, trying to keep the dizzy spell from taking over.

“No, you’re not. You need to go to the doctor. Come on, the clinic is like not even a fifteen minute drive. Get your ass in the car,” he demanded.

“No, I’ll wrap it in gauze and it’ll be fine,” you declared.

“Y/N,” Taehyung warned.

“Taehyung,” you mocked.

“I’m not fucking around,” he said, standing up.

“Neither am I,” you countered.

“Fine, be that way you little shit,” he said before bending down and picking you up bridal style in his arms.

“Taehyung! Put me down!”

“Not on your life,” he said as he grabbed his keys and walked towards the door.

He got you in the car, a towel wrapped around your foot before he took off down the road.

The pair of you were silent as he drove, just going through the night without anything being said. Taehyung looked at your foot and picked up the speed a little bit. You looked out the window, not wanting to look down and see the bloody mess that was your foot. It ached so much, making you want to whine in pain. But you ignored it, keeping a poker face the whole time.

Taehyung pulled into the parking lot, undoing his seatbelt and coming over to your side. Before he could pick you up again, you held your hand out to stop him. “I can walk,” you argued.

“Don’t get stubborn now, just let me take care of you,” he said, sounding moderately annoyed with you. But you couldn’t help the fluttering that took over in your chest. Taehyung leaned down and brought you into his arms, fussing with you for just a moment before he started to walk inside.

“Hi, how can I-Oh goodness!” The nurse who was sitting at the front desk jolted as Taehyung brought you to the counter.

“Can my wife please get some help? She stepped on some glass at home and now I’m worried that she needs stitches,” he said, calm and collected.

“A-Absolutely, let me just page the doctor and Martha get them a wheelchair for her!”

Soon Taehyung was settling you into the wheelchair, wrapping his blazer around your shoulders to keep the chill of the night out. The pair of you waited for less than five minutes before the doctor came out and greeted you both.

“Good evening you two! Taehyung! It’s great to see you,” the doctor said, giving Taehyung a firm handshake.

“I wish we could meet under better circumstances,” Taehyung said softly.

“Now, let’s get you back to an examination room and take a look at that foot,” he said, beckoning Taehyung to follow him. You felt him push you forward carefully, not getting too close to the walls or anything of that nature.

When the pair of you were in the examination room the doctor started the questions.

“Name?”

“Kim Y/N.”

“Age?”

“21.”

“Marital Status.”

“Married.”

“Are you pregnant?” he asked. You bit your lip for a second before answering.

“I-I’m not sure,” you said, worrying your lip with your teeth. You chanced a look at Taehyung in the corner, but he seemed as calm as he was driving here.

“We’ll get a blood draw done then, just to double check. But there are certain antibiotics we don’t use if you’re pregnant so we’ll steer clear of those ones okay?”

“Okay,” you whispered.

“Now, take me through what happened,” he said.

“I dropped my wine glass and stepped on the glass on the floor,” you said, wincing at how stupid it made you seem.

“Well certainly did a number, so I’ll get that glass out and flush the wound. And I’ll need to get a few stitches in there. Next we’ll do your blood draw then a shot of antibiotics and steroids and you should be all set my dear!” he said, smiling.

“Thank you,” you said, gripping Taehyung’s jacket tightly.

“I’ll be right back, just sit tight,” he said, leaving the room.

“You seem nervous,” Taehyung said, sighing.

“Of course I’m nervous, who isn’t when someone is about to stab you in the foot repeatedly?”

“Please, the needle is so thin you won’t feel a thing,” Taehyung scoffed.

“Shut up, it still hurts,” you whimpered out.

“I’m right here,” he said, reaching over and taking your hand in his. You stared down at your joined hands, not so sure what to think.

Then the doctor came back, a tray of utensils in his hands.

“Alright, the nurse will come back with your shots. But we’re gonna do the stitches first,” he explained putting some gloves over his hand.

You tensed as he approached, Taehyung adjusted himself so that he was directly behind you. His head brushed your shoulder as you stared down at the doctor.

“Baby, look at me,” Taehyung’s low voice echoed in your ear. On instinct you turned to face him. Taehyung rested his forehead against yours, rubbing soothing circles into your wrist. “Just focus on me baby, no one else is here, just us two.”

“Tae,” you whimpered, gripping his hand.

“It’s alright, shh, it’ll be alright I’m here,” he said, kissing your forehead and bringing your head into his neck so you wouldn’t look.

“On the count of three I’m going to pull the shard out, I want you to take a deep breath on three for me okay?”

You whispered an answer, too focused on how good Taehyung smelt and how warm his body was against yours.

“One, two, three,” the doctor said, calm as could be.

You yelped in pain, Taehyung right there to soothe your cries.

“Look at that, you did so well baby. It’s alright, he just needs to clean you up,” he said softly.

A burning cold and numbing took over your heel as Taehyung continued to keep your focus on him and him alone. Whispering sweet nothings into your ears and placing gentle kisses to your head and face. The doctor continued his work diligently and before you knew it, the gauze was in place and you were almost ready to go.

The doctor performed a quick blood draw and Taehyung stayed with you through the whole thing. Holding your hand and rubbing your knuckles as he drew even more blood from your body that evening. Once he had what he needed the doctor bid the two of you farewell, saying to drop by the pharmacy for your medications.

“Thank you hyung, it means a lot that you helped her out,” Taehyung said, standing to give the gentleman a fond farewell.

“Anything for you Taehyung, after getting that grant for the clinic, I’ll help you in any way I can! Now, Mrs. Kim please be careful to not walk on your foot for at least two weeks. Taehyung you should take a few days off until she’s settled into a routine. Nice to meet you Mrs. Kim, Taehyung landed a keeper,” he said before exiting the room.

“A grant for the clinic huh?” you said, raising your brows at him.

“Yeah, part of my job is delegating where the money goes,” he said, shrugging off your many questions.

“Fancy pants over here,” you said, scoffing.

“Yeah yeah whatever,” he replied, never letting his fingers leave yours.

A few seconds later a nurse came in with a tray of shots lined up.

“Hi sweetheart, we’re just going to give you an antibiotic, painkiller and a steroid, does that all sound okay to you?” she asked in a kind voice.

“Yes, that’s fine,” you agreed.

“Okay I just need you to drop your pants for me. Are you her husband?” she asked, looking at Taehyung.

“Yes,” he said.

“Would you help her get up on the table and then step outside please,” she requested,

Taehyung nodded, getting you up and out of the wheelchair and up on the table without much fuss. It was when he turned to leave you panicked a little.

“Tae, you’ll be right outside right?” you asked, biting your lip.

“Yes baby, I’ll be right outside the door, just a few pokes and we’ll head home,” he said, kissing your hand before stepping out of the room.

“That’s quite the man you have there, Doctor Namjoon said he was very sweet while putting in your stitches,” she said, wiping your butt with alcohol swabs.

“He’s a keeper,” you smiled.

A couple pokes later you were out the door, Taehyung behind you.

“Now the painkiller we gave her is pretty strong, it’ll make her a little loopy, so just keep your eyes on her,” the nurse said.

“Got it, thank you so much for your help,” he said, before wheeling you out into the parking lot.

Your head was spinning lightly from the painkiller, making you giggly. Taehyung picked you up and set you in the car buckling you in for good measure.

“Taehyung~” you laughed.

“Yes?” he asked, looking at you in confusion.

You burst into laughter at the sight of his face. Taehyung simply sighed before putting the car in gear and taking off.

The ride was mainly your laughter and Taehyung trying not to smash his face into the wheel. But when you got home Taehyung carefully pulled you from the vehicle, careful not to bump your foot or head when extracting you.

You wrapped your arms around his neck easily, cupping the nape of his neck with your palm. He didn’t falter as he carried you into your home, shutting the door with his foot. He kept you in his arms, carrying you all the way to bed, setting you down gently. But before he could remove your arms from his neck, you brought him in for a gentle kiss.

It was different than all the others you’d shared.

It wasn’t passionate or steamy, no lingering touches or wanton desires fueling your actions. You wanted to express your gratitude for him. Just saying thank you because you couldn’t put your thanks into words. He’d changed so much since you first met him. Even though he was still closed off and could be a massive dick sometimes, you were still excited to see him when he came home. Loved hearing the genuine compliments about your food. It was all Taehyung. And you wanted to know more. Any little detail he’d slip you’d take it. Because you really weren’t sure if you wanted this mission to end as much as you did before...

Pulling away, Taehyung breathed against your lips softly.

“What was that for?”

“Just... Thank you, for what you did tonight and-and thanks for coming home to me every night and putting up with me and I really want you to know that-”

“Sure, what else would allies do? If I was cold and cut off to you in that hospital it would blow our cover, I did what I had to do. Namjoon is pretty good at detecting bullshit so sorry if I laid it on a little thick. But he bought our act, so good job to you too,” he said, scratching his neck.

It was like a glass of cold water was dropped onto you.

Allies...

That’s right. That’s all you were to each other. You weren’t actually husband and wife. The marriage was a sham and you would get it annulled the second the mission was over. At least that’s what you wanted before...

“But I’m going to take a shower, so rest up, I’ll call work in the morning and let them know what happened. Night,” he said, standing up quickly before closing the door behind him.

Tears stung in the corner of your eyes, but you forced them back. You wouldn’t cry over him, not like this. Not now...

But before you knew it, tears were racing down your face as you cried yourself to sleep. Dreaming of a marriage to a man who’d never think of you like that.

---

You were sick again this morning.

Taehyung felt the bed shift as you got up and hobbled your way to the bathroom to puke up whatever dinner you’d made last night. This had happened for the fourth day in a row. You getting up, getting sick then coming back to bed as if it never happened. You hadn’t said a thing to him about it, but he knew. And he couldn’t help the way his stomach clenched when he thought you could be pregnant.

This morning was the last straw.

He sat up and waited for you to walk in and when you did his heart lurched. You looked sleepy, and like you were parched. But most of all, you looked scared.

“Taehyung,” you said, looking down at the floor nervously.

“We need to get those results,” he said dismissively.

“No shit sherlock,” you snarked. “But ever think that I might have the flu or something?”

“Influenza is coughing, what you’re talking about is a virus.”

“Okay doctor, sue me. My results should be at the clinic. We can go there and get them,” you said.

“I’ll pick them up after work today, is that alright?” he asked, raising a brow at you.

“Yeah, whatever works I guess,” you said.

“Alright.”

It was silent.

“Taehyung?” you asked, coming towards the bed, your heel almost back to full strength after the incident a few weeks ago.

“Yeah.”

“What do we do if I’m... well if I-uh,” you stammered.

“If you’re pregnant? Well... We’ll deal with it, I guess,” he said, sighing and rubbing his forehead.

“They wouldn’t be an it, Taehyung, they’re a baby, a person,” you said, getting a little worked up.

“Listen, we’ll deal with it when the time comes, this mission is over in a month and then you can go and-well...”

“You aren’t suggesting what I think you are, are you?” you said, hurt flashing across your features.

“Y/N, think about it. We’re spies. Espionage Agents. Do you think our lifestyle is one suited to having children? Leaving them with a nanny all day and then not knowing if your parents are going to come home, them leaving you in the care of strangers while they move you all over the world? It’s the loneliest life I could imagine,” Taehyung said, eyes not meeting yours.

“Taehyung were your parents...?” you trailed off, not wanting to believe the truth.

“My parents were D3s with the IEA. They died when I was thirteen, I didn’t even know they were gone until three weeks later when the agency showed up at our door. I know that life, Y/N, I know that hurt. I don’t want anyone to feel that way. Not because we were stupid,” he breathed.

“What if I kept the baby, left the agency...” you thought aloud, trying to calm your racing thoughts.

“Y/N, think about what you’d be doing. You never really leave the agency. They always know where you are, threaten you with what you did in your past over your head. When you sign up, you’re in it for life,” he explained.

“Taehyung I couldn’t do what you’re asking, I can’t,” you said, tears falling down your cheeks.

“Listen, we don’t know for sure. Let’s wait until we know the facts before we start making scenarios up in our heads.”

“Okay...”

---

Taehyung was driving home, your test results in the passenger side.

He couldn’t open them. As much as he hated to admit it, he was scared shitless too. What was he supposed to tell you? How could he get you to see, that this wasn’t a good situation. But, nothing was set in stone until you opened that packet.

Walking up the driveway he saw you in the window, putting some finishing touches on dinner. His heart swelled with something. Something he’d never known before. He couldn’t place this feeling, but he didn’t hate it... He didn’t hate you.

As much as he tried, you wormed your way into his mind frequently. What you were cooking for dinner, how your heel was feeling, if you really were pregnant with his child or not. All of these and more were taking up space in his normally focused brain.

But when he walked in the door, he discovered a glorious sight.

You, in a dress that he hadn’t seen before. Yellow and covered with flowers at the bottom it was flowy. But what he noticed first was that it accentuated areas of you that usually were understated.

Like your stomach. A tiny little bump visible to his eyes suddenly knocked the wind out of him as he dropped his briefcase, making you jump.

“Taehyung! You scared the piss out of me,” you complained, placing your hand over your heart, feeling it beat wildly against your chest. You saw his distress and immediately came to his side. “What’s wrong? Are you feeling faint? Did you eat today? What have I told you about skipping lunch-”

“I-I’m fine,” he said, shakily holding onto the wall and pulling himself together.

“Are you sure? You look pale,” you said, cradling his face in your palms.

Moving away from you he nodded.

“Yeah... Just... Your test results are there,” he said, pointing at the coffee table he collapsed into when he saw you.

“I’ll look at them, you sit down and eat. You worried me,” you said, moving towards the coffee table slowly.

Your heart was going insane inside your chest. You weren’t sure how you’d react to either situation. But Taehyung had already sat down, waiting for you to open it.

Carefully you ripped open the envelope, pulling out the papers inside with delicate fingers. You looked through your bloodwork, noticing nothing of severe importance. But then your eyes landed on the pregnancy test results.

Pregnant: Yes.

The little circle of red around the three letter word made you want to hurl. But at the same time, you were oddly at peace with the idea. It had taken a lot for you to come to this conclusion, but, if it was meant to be then... So be it.

“What does it say?” Taehyung asked, looking at your calm demeanour.

“I’m pregnant,” you say softly. Taehyung’s head snaps up, looking from the paper to your stomach where his child was for certain growing now.

“Fuck,” he said, sitting back in the chair, looking up at the ceiling.

“What do we do Taehyung?”

“We need to call Seokjin, immediately,” he said, standing up.

“You’re right,” you said, nodding slowly.

“I’ll call him now,” he said, standing up.

You wait patiently as Taehyung puts the call on speaker phone.

“Yah, do you know what time it is you little punk, why are you calling me?” he asked.

“Hyung, we’ve got an emergency,” Taehyung said, leaning closer to you.

“What is it?” he asked, mildly concerned now.

“I’m pregnant, sir,” you said, biting your lip.

“You’re... what?”

“Hyung she’s pregnant and...”

“And let me guess, you’re the father Taehyung,” Seokjin said through the phone, distress in his voice.

“Yes, hyung that’s right,” he said, pink tinging his ears.

“Get her out of there Taehyung, that’s an order,” Seokjin said, not sounding at all like he was joking.

“Sir, I can still-”

“I’ll be sending a envoy to come and collect Ms. Y/N by the end of the week. Taehyung if anyone asks you where she went, she went to stay with her sick mother for a while. That should provide you with enough cover until Feng is in town,” Seokjin instructed.

“Yes sir,” you said, head hanging low.

“And Ms. Y/N,” he said, making your ears perk up.

“Yes, sir?” you responded.

“I’ll accept this as your resignation from the company. Goodbye you two.” With that he hung up, leaving you and Taehyung bewildered.

“What?” you screamed.

“Y/N-”

“Taehyung you motherfucker!” you shrieked, taking off your shoe and chasing him around the house with it.

“Y/N! Please hang on a second!”

“What am I going to do you son of a bitch?!”

“Hey listen, I’ll-ow!” he hissed when you chucked your shoe and it hit him square in the butt.

“No you listen, I just lost my job because of this! What am I going to do, Taehyung? I’m alone, pregnant and scared out of my fucking mind. What. Do. I. Do??”

“You aren’t alone,” he said, rubbing his neck awkwardly.

“Taehyung when they force me to leave the agency because of this I get a limited amount of money, not nearly enough to support me and a baby,” you said, rubbing your temples.

“I-uh, I can pay child support or... something like that,” he said, coughing at the end to hide his discomfort.

“Taehyung,” you said, already stressed at the idea.

“I’m serious, I’ll send you a check every month. How much do you think you’ll need?”

“You aren’t listening to me,” you said, exacerbated.

“What do you mean?”

“Taehyung, what if I don’t want to take money from you?” you said, placing your hand on your hip.

“I’m confused,” Taehyung complained, continuing to look up at the ceiling.

“I’m so fucked,” you murmured, looking down at your stomach in concern.

Taehyung glanced over at you. Eyes brimming with tears as you cradled your stomach in fear. He felt sick to his stomach. You were both to blame for what happened. He should take responsibility, ease some of your worry. But what would he do? Could he be a good father for this child? Could the two of you work together to make this okay? Did he even want to try?

Yes, he did want to try.

Because you were his wife. Through an agency or not it was still an honest to God marriage on paper. So, you both kinda fucked up, but how you handled it would be paramount for the child.

“Let me help you,” he said, standing up.

Looking up from your tummy in shock, you weren’t sure if you believed him. “What are you talking about,” you said.

“I’ve got your six if you got mine,” he announced, as if it was the simplest thing in the world.

“Taehyung a baby isn’t easy. It’s a lifetime commitment. We’d be bound together for life,” you explained.

“Sounds good, I accept this mission,” he said, smiling.

“Taehyung!”

“Let me take care of you, and in the future if something happens, take care of me,” he reasoned.

“Tae this isn’t-I don’t know about this,” you whimpered.

“Trust me, Y/N, trust me this once,” he asked, walking over to you.

Staring into his eyes you didn’t see a hint of a joke or humor in them. He... He was serious?

“Okay Taehyung, I’ve got your six if you’ve got mine,” you sighed.

“Partners?”

“Partners.”

---

The envoy was dispatched to your location a few hours ago. A female agent, playing your sister, would be picking you up and taking you back to the IEA. Taehyung had been almost glued to your side the previous days, saying that he didn’t want anything to happen to you.

“Taehyung,” you groaned, laying in bed around twenty minutes before the car was supposed to arrive. He came into the room, looking at you with a neutral expression.

“Yes?” he asked, eyes locking with yours.

“I-I’m nervous,” you said, twiddling your fingers.

“The envoy will take you to the airport and then you’ll have a meeting with hyung, he’s not so bad. Especially since you’re pregnant. Hyung might be a jerk sometimes, but he’s not heartless, you’ll be safe Y/N, I promise.”

“And the second Feng is dead?”

“I’ll be on my way back to you,” he said firmly.

“Thank you Taehyung, for everything,” you said, feeling emotional.

“Don’t cry, jeez,” he admonished, coming to wipe your tears with his sleeve.

“Sorry, I’m just going to miss you,” you sniffled. Taehyung smiled softly at your tone, placing a gentle hand on your stomach.

“I’m going to miss you too, and your food. Honestly did you refrigerate some of that broccoli soup you made? If you don’t I might starve to death,” he complained.

Giggling you nodded your head. “Yes Tae, there’s at least four servings in there, just don’t eat it all in a row, I don’t want you to get sick,” you warned.

“Yes dear,” he said, rubbing his soft fingertips into your skin. “How big is the baby right now?” he asked, keeping his eyes locked on your little tummy.

“I’m about eight weeks so around the size of a kidney bean,” you explained.

“Our little bean,” he said, smiling.

“Yeah,” you grinned back.

The sound of a car door shutting came from up front. The two of you turned your heads and sighed. “Come on, I’ll get your bag for you,” Taehyung said, lifting what was supposed to be a little weekend bag filled with the necessities.

You nodded and let Taehyung do the heavy lifting while you went to gather a couple things from the bathroom. Your sister, played by Yeri of accounting, came walking up smiling brightly. The two of you embraced quickly, hugging for a long time before Taehyung huffed like a little kid.

“Okay, off my wife,” he said, pulling you back for a second.

“Sheesh Taehyung, didn’t expect you to be so possessive,” she joked.

“Alright baby,” he said, ignoring Yeri all together, “I promise the second this is over I’ll come to get you,” he said smiling.

“Okay, I’ll hold you to it,” you beamed back.

“C’mere,” he said, pulling you in for a sweet kiss. Taehyung and you hadn’t really been as touchy feely recently, so to finally have his lips on yours felt amazing. Wrapping your arms around him contentedly you could hear Yeri gagging in the background.

“Come on kids, time to go,” she said, clapping her hands.

Breaking apart Taehyung tucked your hair behind your ears, “I’m gonna miss you,” he said, genuine sadness creeping into his features.

“I’ll miss you two, we both will,” you said, holding your stomach. Taehyung knelt to the ground and placed a kiss on your stomach.

“You both better behave,” he warned, shooting you a heated glance before standing up to give you a final hug.

“See you later, Taehyung!” you said, getting into the car.

Taehyung waved as the two of you drove down the road.

Time for phase two.

---

The drive between you and Yeri was quiet.

“Thanks for coming to get me,” you said softly, looking at your thumbs.

“Don’t mention it,” she said, waving her hand.

“Does the whole office know that I’m...” you trailed off, thoughts wandering.

“Pretty much everybody knows, sorry, Director Kim came out looking like he had just gone through an emotional rollercoaster. We all were kinda thrown for a loop when he said an envoy needed to be put together and stat. Everyone kind of murmured when Hoseok from HR spoke up about the reasoning for paperwork. And it sorta slipped that you had a bun in the oven,” she explained.

“Aw man,” you said, rubbing your face with your palm.

“I’m sorry that you got fired over this,” she offered.

“I knew that if I fucked up this mission in any way that it would get me terminated. Just didn’t think fucking would be the problem that got me fired,” you sighed.

“So, you and Taehyung huh?” she asked, eyes focused on the road.

“Oh, we’re not... like, serious or anything,” you scrambled.

“Serious enough to stick with you for a baby, that's a big time commitment,” Yeri commented.

“Well, we’re partners, we watch each other’s back and help when the other one needs it,” you repeated what Taehyung had told you nights prior.

“But with a baby? I don’t know Y/N, I’d just keep your eyes on the skies and head on the ground for right now. Try to readapt to civilian life,” Yeri suggested.

“I don’t see why we couldn’t work,” you mumbled, leaning your head against the window.

“Taehyung isn’t exactly a people person, how do you think he’ll react with a little people showing up in his world. Crying at all times of day, demanding feedings and toys and affection. It’s going to be overwhelming for the both of you,” she said.

“I-I get it, Yeri.”

“Sorry, Y/N, I didn’t mean to be such a jerk about it. You know Taehyung better than probably anyone at the agency. If you believe him, then I don’t see why the two of you can’t make it work in a healthy manner,” she soothed.

But the damage was done.

A sense of unease settled over your stomach as you felt your heart clench painfully. Nothing was keeping Taehyung from going out and getting another woman. Someone prettier, a better agent who wasn’t so sensitive, someone who could handle him and his intense personality with ease. Not you who would bicker with him every chance you got.

“Y/N, put your head down,” Yeri demanded suddenly.

“What? Why-”

BANG!

A gunshot ran out over the road, taking out Yeri’s review mirror. The car swerved as Yeri tried to keep it from becoming an easy target.

“Fuck!” Yeri screamed, hitting the guardrail on the other side of the road.

“Yeri! Please be careful!” you said, holding your stomach in fear.

“I can’t do much when someone is shooting at us Y/N!”

“Who would be shooting at us anyways?!” you screamed, grabbing the bar above the window to stabilize yourself.

Another shot rang out, hitting a tire and causing a blowout. The car wobbled, fishtailing as the back end was no longer stable. You gripped onto the bar tightly, remembering your training and attempting to remain calm.

“Yeri, do you have a gun in here?” you asked.

“Yeah, glove box, why?” she asked, trying to drive with a blown tire.

“Because I know exactly who these people are, and they fucked with the wrong person,” you said, pulling the pistol out of the glove box and throwing the magazine in before rolling down the window.

“Y/N! What the fuck are you doing!”

“Saving our lives, maybe,” you said, pulling yourself up and out. Wrapping your leg around your seatbelt stabilized you, giving you better aim.

Firing you nailed the passenger who was shooting in the head, watching as if flew back against the seat. Glass shattered from the bullet’s entry into the windshield. Next you aimed for the driver, shooting threw the broken windshield, hitting him in the throat. The car swerved behind you, hitting the guardrail and flipping before coming to rest on it’s side.

Smirking you pulled yourself back into the car, looking ahead of you. Only for your stomach to drop.

Dead ahead were three more cars, waiting.

Yeri slammed on the breaks, sending you forward into the dash.

The two of you were fucked, blocking your only path out with a blown up car. Yeri seemed to notice because she pulled out her holstered weapon, aiming at the guys standing outside the car. The next thing you knew, the windshield was shattering, Yeri’s head slumping forward against the steering wheel, laying on the horn.

“Yeri!” You cried, gripping her shoulder and shaking her aggressively.

The men swarmed the vehicle, grabbing at you and pulling you out of the vehicle kicking and screaming.

“Let me go you fuckers! I’m going to kick all of your asses!”

Once they finally got a good grip on you, you were held kneeling in front of...

“Doctor Namjoon?” you asked, eyebrow raising.

“Y/N, how pleasant to see you here,” he said, kneeling down to your level.

“What are you-how-when...?” you asked, confusion taking over your entire being.

“Well, you see Y/N, Mr. Feng would like a word with you and your husband.”

“What?”

“Mr. Feng, the one who supplies our town with everything it needs. The one who built our clinic, the one who set up the adoption center in town, would like to speak with you and your husband. We wouldn’t want to keep the good man waiting would we?” he said, standing up and motioning to the other men standing around you.

“Wait, Doctor Namjoon! There must be a mistake, what did we do? Why does Mr. Feng want to speak with us?”

“Because your husband has just won the election for mayor.”

---

Taehyung couldn’t believe the news.

He was now mayor.

Finally he could take down Feng and restore peace.

His co-workers were blowing up his phone non-stop. But there wasn’t a single message from you. Not that you had to message him or anything, but... it’d be nice to hear from you. Taehyung was caught up in his thoughts about you he almost didn’t hear his phone ringing.

The caller ID was yours.

“Hello? Y/N? Where are you? Did you make it to the airport alright?”

“Taehyung!” You screamed.

His blood ran cold at the desperate sound in your voice.

“Hear that little man? We managed to get ourselves a visitor,” a sinister tone echoed over the phone.

“Feng,” Taehyung growled.

“Now now, Taehyung, wouldn’t want to upset me. I’ve got two for the price of one after all,” Feng’s low voice warned.

Taehyung felt sick. You and the baby were in danger.

“What do you want?” Taehyung asked, desperate to save you.

“A resignation letter, brought to the address in the message that will follow this call,” Feng demanded.

“And if I refuse?”

“Two birds with one bullet,” he said, laying it out.

“Is she safe?” He asked, gripping his pant leg, anger suffusing his entire body.

“For now, the clock is ticking Taehyung.”

And with that, there was a click and the line went dead.

Taehyung flew into action, grabbing his bag and throwing on different clothes.

“I’m coming baby,” he promised into the air, hoping to God you heard him in your heart.

---

Your body ached, hands tied behind your back without any care to blood flow or being able to feel your fingers.

You were tied to a flimsy wooden chair, feet taped together. Feng and his men were surrounding the area, everyone seemed to have a position. You tried to find points of weakness, something to exploit, but there weren't many flaws in the way these men were placed. If Feng was good at something, it was security.

Looking around at the several areas of escape, you were disappointed to discover men stationed at every one of them. Of course, it would be a rookie move for them to leave any exit open around someone like you. Although you weren’t sure if they knew your true identity or not.

The likelihood of them knowing wasn’t high. They hadn’t pressured you or asked you any questions since your arrival. They’d merely tied you up and left you to wait. It was agonizing to sit still for the longest time, your hands burning from the rope being tied too tight.

The men around the warehouse were all milling around, all keeping their eyes on the doors. Feng was not a patient man, something you’d figured out. As he stood there, staring at the entrance where Taehyung could come through any moment.

“Boss, we should just kill her then kill him. We have the numbers on them,” one person spoke up, looking bored at the back.

“And what good would that do me? Taehyung is respected in the community, if he dies then the people won’t trust me anymore. Do you want my people not to have faith in me anymore? Do you want me to constantly be battling like this against stupid people who try to work against my tide? I am going to rule China one day, and it won’t be because idiotic people like you tell me what to do,” Feng growled out.

“S-sorry sir,” he whimpered out.

“Shut up and go check the perimeter,” Feng said, barking a few more orders before the men scattered like pool balls.

You sat there, silently observing everything going on. They had a standard set up, something two D3s could liquidate easily. But with one of you being compromised, it made it a little harder. Hopefully Taehyung had a plan.

“Worried that your husband won’t come for you?” Feng sneered, looking at you with disgust.

“When my husband shows up, you all should be very concerned about what you do next,” you warned, glaring harshly at Feng with as much venom as you could muster.

“Taehyung is a man of politics and sweet talking, not action. Although, he must have some action to have you end up in this state,” he scoffed.

“I’m known to be a man of action.”

Both yours and Feng’s heads snapped in the direction of the voice.

“Taehyung,” you breathed, so relieved to see him here. But at the same time fear coursed through your veins. This was a volatile situation with lots of variables, you both had to play this perfectly for it to work.

“Y/N,” he answered, coming to walk forward.

You felt cool metal touch the side of your temple and Taehyung halted in his steps, staring at the gun pointed to your head.

“I believe you owe me something, Mr. Taehyung,” Feng said, holding out his hand.

Taehyung retrieved something from the inside of his jacket, holding it up before setting it down on the floor and kicking it over towards the two of you. Feng bent down to pick it up when you struck.

Lifting your tied legs up you bashed your heel over his head, causing him to collapse onto the ground. Taehyung rushed forward, quickly removing your bindings around your wrists and feet.

“Taehyung we don’t have much time, a majority of the guards will be back soon after checking the perimeter. Once they see your car they’re gonna book it back here,” you warned.

“I know, you act like this is my first rodeo,” he remarked, sounding mock hurt.

Finally the restraints came off, falling to the ground in a heap. Taehyung didn’t hesitate to pull you into his embrace, quickly claiming your lips with his.

“Mmm, Taehyung, not now,” you said, pulling away after a few pecks.

“What the fuck is going on here?” A guard asked, raising his gun and pointing it at you. Taehyung immediately put his body between you and the gun.

“Feng is just taking a nap,” Taehyung pulled out his gun and shot at Feng, three times. “Permanently.”

“You son of a bitch!”

Bullets started raining down on the two of you. Taehyung interlocked your fingers, taking off down the warehouse floor. You could hear the metal bullets flying past your ears, making them ring in irritation.

Taehyung continued to pull you down the alleyway, running fast as he could. Your legs burned with the effort to carry your body. You were frightened, adrenaline pumping through your veins at the idea of something happening to you. Taehyung or the baby. But you couldn’t think that way here, it was flight or fight time. And it’s time to fight.

Grabbing Taehyung’s gun you fired off a few rounds, hitting a couple guards towards the top of the railing. But with you standing still, you got a nick in your shoulder, a bullet grazing your delicate flesh.

Taehyung ripped the gun from your grasp and pushed you in front of him, sending your body hurtling forward. “Taehyung let me handle this,” you screamed.

“If you handle it that way you’ll wind up dead, and I won’t have that!” He yelled.

“Taehyung trust me,” you begged, going further ahead.

“I trust you with my life, but not yours,” he said, moving towards the car. Bullets flew past the two of you, one hitting the car tire dead on, having it pop like a balloon. Taehyung cursed as he sent a few rounds off back into the warehouse. You watched as a few men dropped like flies. His aim was deadly, no wonder he was one of the top operatives of the team.

“We need to find transport,” you said, looking at Taehyung.

“I know, but my car is around back, we’d have to fight our way through,” Taehyung said, looking dead ahead.

“Let’s do it,” you said, grabbing his hand and interlocking your fingers.

“No, I can’t risk you getting hurt,” he denied.

“Taehyung give me a gun and let’s get them. I’ve got your six if you’ve got mine,” you said, smiling brightly.

A few moments later, a pistol was place in your hand and Taehyung started moving ahead.

“Cover my back, I’ll go in first, you get any that I miss. Extra magazines are in my pockets,” he instructed as the two of you walked down the suspiciously empty hallway.

A few steps in Taehyung fired his first round. You both kept moving, hands interlocked and moving as one. You two were partners, and you both were going to get out of this unscathed if the other had anything to say about it. Taehyung felt your wedding band rub against his fingers and a new found strength gripped him.

He wouldn’t fail.

Not today.

You saw movement in the room next to you, taking aim as you fired the round, watching as a man collapsed behind the door. A smirk left your lips as you saw the crimson fluid spill from under the door. Another one bites the dust.

Taehyung fired again, making sure to clear the rooms before heading down the hallway. Suddenly, two men appeared from the hallway in your direction. You squeezed Taehyung’s hand, he instantly flipped the two of you around, firing off two shots in their direction. You heard the distinct thud of bodies hitting the floor when you also took three shots at men coming towards you the new head of the movement.

Two went down easy, the third struggled on the floor, aimed and shot, shooting through the ceiling right in front of you. Running forward you crushed his wrist with your heeled shoe, shooting him through the head for good measure before Taehyung came back, bringing your hands together once more and taking the lead.

“They just keep coming,” you exclaimed, fingers already hurting from the recoil of the gun.

“Hang in there, just a few more, then we’re home free,” Taehyung said, shooting down the hall once more.

“Okay,” you agreed, letting the years of your training take over your body.

“That’s my girl,” Taehyung smiled, rubbing his thumb against your knuckles for a moment before pushing forward through the building.

The pet name sent liquid fire through your veins. You were his girl, you were the one carrying his child, no one else. It was the two of you against the world right now, and you were going to win.

“I see the door, I’m not sure if there’s an alarm on it or not, but be prepared to run,” he said, approaching the metal door with an air of caution. He checked around the seal, not seeing any wires or things of that nature that would trip an alarm, nor did he see any sensors that could also send a signal back to the main area of the warehouse.

“I think we’re in the clear. The car is right around the corner when we get down the stairs, okay? You go ahead of me alright. In case this door does trigger an alarm, I want you to get in the car and go. If I’m hit or I go down, you go without me, you understand?”

Panic suffused your body. Leave? Without him? Never.

“No, I won’t go unless you’re there with me,” you argued.

“Listen, if I go down there’s no way you can get me in the car by yourself. You’re carrying precious cargo baby, best not to risk anything,” Taehyung explained.

“Tae I’m not going to leave you,” you said, shaking your head.

“Baby listen to me, I need you to make it out of here. If I lose you now I-I don’t know what I’ll do,” he said, looking at you with concern.

“You won’t lose me, and I won’t lose you. We’re getting out of here together, Taehyung,” you said.

“Then let’s go,” he announced, opening the door. The two of you bolted down the stairs, not waiting for the alarm to trip or anything of the sort. Your heart was hammering in your chest, blood pounding in your ears. God, it had been so long since you felt like this.

The fear, the adrenaline.

It all made you realize what a crazy few months this had been. Originally, you hated Taehyung, hated what he represented. Everything you couldn’t be, just a reminder that you had failed. But in reality he was always there. Like no one else had been. Sure at the beginning it was by force, but after a while, you enjoyed having him around. He ate your dinners with gusto, complimented your appearance, was there for you when the rest of your world fell apart.

Sure he could be a dick, but there’s a good person under all the bullshit. You wanted to discover that person. The one you had a glimpse of during these months. The one who smiles at every dog, who doesn’t like bitter things, who needs to sleep holding onto you.

Taehyung was the only person you could rely on, and you for him. The pair of you made a pact, all those months ago. Help me, help you. And the two of you were in it for the long haul now, a child on the way changed how you saw your life going. You never expected to be a mother.

But if it was with Taehyung, maybe it wouldn’t be so bad. Maybe the two of you could make it work in a healthy way for everyone involved...

You saw the car, parked just off the road and in the ditch slightly, enough so no one would see it. Another shot rang out as you two booked it across the open dirt clearing around the warehouse.

Making it to the car you flung the driver side door open, when you realized Taehyung wasn’t standing beside you.

“Taehyung!” You screamed.

Looking behind you, Taehyung was there holding his side as if he had run too fast, but you saw it.

Blood.

Everything slowed down. You watched as he brought his hand before his face, staring at the crimson liquid coating his fingers. His eyes looked to yours, clear orbs that stared into his soul. Fuck, he fucked up. And he fucked up bad.

“Go on baby,” he said, falling to his knees.

“Taehyung, no!” you screamed, running over to his side.

“Y/N, get in the fucking car and go now,” he said through gritted teeth.

“No, I can’t just leave you here are you crazy?” you said, holding his side as well.

“Y/N, I’m serious. Leave me now, they’re coming,” he said.

True to his word you heard footsteps coming down the stairs that the pair of you had just run down yourselves. It sounded like a death march approaching you two. Taehyung was shuddering, white button up during red with proof of his injury.

“I’ll fend them off,” you said, holding his head with your other hand.

“No, you won’t. Go now, while you still can baby please,” he begged.

“Please don’t make me do this without you,” you cried, tears streaming down your face.

“I’m sorry, I wish I could... Be there for the both of you,” he said, placing his hand on your stomach. “Daddy loves you... Both of you,” he whispered. Before he went limp in your arms.

“Taehyung, no! Please please come back, I love you too please!” you screamed.

“There they are!”

“Get the bitch!”

With a final kiss you bolt up, firing a few shots at the men before you took off into the car, wiping your tears with the back of your hand.

Throwing the car in gear you peeled off down the road, hearing furious screaming behind you. But all you could hear were those words that’d haunt you for the rest of your life.

“I love you too, Taehyung.”

---

“It’s been five months, Y/N, you need to take it easy,” your friend, Park Jimin, said, helping you stand from your seated position.

“I’m only seven months, I got two more to go,” you said, rubbing your swollen belly with affection.

When you returned to the agency without Taehyung, Seokjin immediately knew what happened.

“Was it short?” he asked you as you appeared before him.

“Yes, he didn’t suffer,” you said.

Daddy loves you... Both of you...

Thinking about him still hurt, made your head spin with the memories of everything the two of you did together.

His body laying in the dirt alone, as you ran to the safety of the vehicle.

Tears sprung to your eyes and Jimin rushed over, shushing you and rubbing your back.

Taehyung apparently had written a will out while the two of you were living in Feng’s little compound. Saying that anything and everything was to go to you. His apartment, his stocks and his trust that his parents left for him. It was all under your name now.

You could easily support your child and send them to any college you wanted without lifting a finger, but you knew that couldn’t work. So you got a job at a local convenience store. Something to pass the time while the baby twirled and kicked in your belly.

People that came in and cooed over you, asking how you were and how the father was. You put on your brave face and told them he passed, but you were still doing well regardless. An old grandmother approached the check out one day...

It had been slow, no one really coming in except for a few college students and a couple middle aged men. Your feet were heavy with the weight of your pregnancy, but other than that, the day was alright.

Slow days like this were always a little harder on you. It gave you more time to think. Think about the past, the daunting cloud that was the future hanging over you. You must’ve looked distressed because a little old lady came up to the counter, a simple bottle of water in her basket.

“Are you alright dear?” She asked, looking at you with concern.

“Yes, I’m fine,” you said, wiping your eyes lightly to get whatever emotion was there out of them.

“Are you sure about that?” She questioned, looking deep into your heart.

And before you knew it, the floodgates opened.

“No,” you whimpered out, tears falling freely from your face.

“Oh my sweet, come here,” she said, opening her arms.

Running around the counter you took the embrace. It was the first time since Taehyung died you felt this level of comfort. Jimin tried his best but, nothing compared to the touch of a mother, someone who knew what you were going through.

“You don’t have to talk about it, I know that pain. My husband passed before the birth of our third child. I know how badly you must hurt, but my dear, we must live on to celebrate their memory. There's sadness that comes with every passing, but we need to be happy for them. Be joyous in their memory, so that they can live on in us.”

You’d never cried that hard in your life you were certain.

But the old lady you’d never met just hung onto you, keeping you close and patting your head until your cries stopped.

“Y/N, are you listening to me?” Jimin asked as he sat at your feet, rubbing them after your long day at work.

“Nope,” you said, popping the p for effect.

“I was saying, that we should make a nursery soon. You can’t put it off much longer. The baby is going to be here before you know it,” he said, rubbing out a knot that had been bothering you since near the beginning of your pregnancy.

“I can’t touch his stuff, Jimin, I can’t,” you whisper.

“Then I can-”

“Go in that room and I’ll cut your hands off Park Jimin,” you warned.

“Okay, okay. Then we should at least set up the cradle in your room,” he said, trying to compromise.

“Fine, but can we do it later, I’m super tired right now.”

“Yeesh, you’re such a little baby. Fine we’ll hold off until you have your next day off. Then we’re doing it,” he said.

“Okay okay, whatever,” you complained.

Jimin’s phone rang. You whined at the loss of his hands on your feet but let him go take his conversation. You looked down at your big, swollen belly and rubbed your hands over the flesh there. You didn’t want to know the gender of the baby yet. You weren’t sure what you wanted, but you knew that if they looked anything like Taehyung, your heart would break in the best way.

Big eyes like his, that boxy smile, broad shoulders and large hands that held yours just so. Tears made their way into your eyes as you thought about him. After five months it still hurt. Not to wake up and have his arm over your waist. Hearing his soft singing in the shower. Not having his snarky comments and kinda rude attitude was even something you missed.

You just missed him...

“Hey, Y/N-oh shit, are you alright?” he asked, coming forward and touching your knee comfortingly.

“No, Jimin. How am I going to do this by myself? I can’t raise a child without him. I’m going to fuck it up, it’s going to go so wrong and I... I don’t know if I can do this,” you whimpered.

“You can do this. You aren’t alone. You know that Joy and I will do everything we can to help you out. Trust in us, we’ll be there every step of the way,” Jimin said, trying to comfort you.

“I miss him... So much,” you cried out, tears flowing freely down your face at this point. Jimin pulled you to his chest, trying to shush you, to comfort you in any way that he could. But it wasn’t enough. It wasn’t Taehyung.

After a few minutes you finally calmed down. Jimin explained he had to leave and with a kiss on your forehead he was gone.

You sat on the couch, trying to watch some TV but nothing was getting rid of that feeling. The feeling in your gut that you knew. It was familiar. But you couldn’t pin it down.

Getting ready for bed you brushed your teeth and washed your face. Getting into bed you wrapped up in the blanket. It had been increasingly difficult for you to fall asleep as your pregnancy progressed. Too big to lay on your stomach and back you had to settle for sleeping on your side, something you weren’t used to. And trying to sleep without someone next to you was difficult.

Tossing back and forth all night you didn’t really fall asleep.

You kept hearing noises and having nightmares.

Watching TV did little to ease your nerves.

You’d been spending time like this recently. So tired you’re desperate to sleep but you know in the back of your mind that sleep is so far away.

Giving up you decided to go on a walk.

You lived in a decent neighborhood, mainly filled with older couples with no children, so you decided that a nice brisk walk in the fresh spring air would do you well. Struggling to pull on your shoes you heard it.

A rustling outside in the bushes. You waited a few moments before you heard it again. It was large, possibly a young bear, but you weren’t sure a bear would be this far into the suburbs. Again, you listened, this time a cough rang out as you waited.

A person.

Running to the bedroom you opened your bedside drawer and pulled the gun that sat under the false bottom. Gripping it tightly in your hands you moved slowly.

You knew how ridiculous this must look, but you were pregnant, alone and not taking any chances. Worst comes to worst you shoot a bear and call the cops saying you thought you were being robbed. You had a license, nothing would come of it.

But bears don’t cough like that...

Slowly you approached the door, gun aimed low. You walked with purpose, keeping your posture straight as to be prepared in case someone came up behind you. If this was a robbery, it was likely not just one person. You didn’t want to call the police just yet, because maybe it was dumb kids deciding to take on a defenseless pregnant woman. Easy pray.

Normally.

However, as you approached the door you heard the rustling stop.

You laid your hand on the door knob, preparing yourself for the onslaught of what could be beyond the cherry hardwood.

Quickly, you pushed the door open, aiming your gun at-

“Meow.”

“What the fuck?” you asked, looking down at a black and brown cat that had situated itself on your front doorstep.

“Meeeooowww.” It drawled at you, looking up and into your house with interest.

“No. Shoo,” you said, waving your gun carelessly into the night.

“Meeeoowww,” it said again, gazing at you with such tender eyes that it made your stomach drop.

“You need a place to stay, is that it?” you questioned, looking down at the animal.

It merely meowed again and moved passed you, strutting into your house like it owned the place.

“Sure, come on in,” you joked, walked back inside only to be stunned by what you saw.

The outline of a man, standing in the middle of your home.

Instantly the gun went up, locking onto his head with deadly precision.

“Who the fuck are you,” you growled, waiting for the intruder to turn around.

“Y/N?”

The gun clattered to the floor.

“What...?” you asked, staring into the face of the man you thought you’d never see again.

Taehyung stood before you, hair much longer than the last time you’d seen him. He looked thinner, but not grotesquely so. You couldn’t help yourself, you walked forward.

“This is a dream, a really cruel dream,” you whispered to yourself as you reached him.

“Baby,” he whispered, as if he was in the same place you were. Star struck.

“Taehyung what are you...” you said, reaching out and touching his face. There were a few scars here and there, but it was the same face, the same man you’d fallen in love with, standing before you.

“Feng’s top operatives are dead, the whole system is shut down, all thanks to us,” he said, as if it was the easiest thing in the world.

SMACK.

Taehyung’s head whirled to the other side as your hand collided with his cheek. Coming back with a confused look on his face he faced your anger.

“What the fuck do you call this?” you asked, glaring at him.

“What do you mean?” he said, holding his cheek in offense.

“What are you doing here, you’re dead Taehyung,” you growled.

“No, Y/N, I’m right here, I didn’t die,” he said, moving towards you.

You placed your hand out in front of you, stopping him in his tracks. “Please Taehyung, don’t do this to me,” you begged.

“Don’t do what? Can’t you see me? I came back for you, for us,” he announced, like a grand scheme that had all gone to plan.

“What us, Taehyung? We never really had an us,” you explained, thinking back to your memories with him.

“The us we wanted to have,” he said quickly.

“Is that even possible for us, Taehyung? Did you think about that? About all these men that are going to be chasing you? And you brought them right here? To me?”

“No, baby, listen. I killed each and every one of them. I made sure that no one would hurt what I want to build with you,” he said.

“And what is that, Taehyung?” You asked, wanting to hear him say it.

“A family, Y/N. I want to build a family, a life with you,” he divulged, looking like an embarrassed school boy.

“Do you really think that’s possible? That your work won’t follow you-”

“I quit the agency,” he said, running his fingers through his hair.

“You what?” you asked, looking at him in disbelief.

“I quit, Y/N, I’m done with espionage,” he said.

“You’re never done with the agency, you told me that yourself,” you accused.

“No, please hear me out. I wiped my record, everything. They don’t have access to anything anymore. Hyung won’t try to find me, I promise,” he begged.

“You can’t make a promise for someone else Taehyung,” you reminded him darkly.

“How can I convince you that I want this, that I want you more than anything?”

“I don’t know,” you whispered, dropping your gaze to the floor.

“Please, tell me how to fix this,” he pleaded, cradling your face in his hands.

“I don’t know if you can, Taehyung. It’s all so messed up,” you said, tears starting to well up in your eyes.

“God, Y/N, I’m so sorry. I did this. This is my fault,” he said, rubbing his face.

“It’s not just your fault, Taehyung, I didn’t help the situation any,” you said, trying to ease his pain.

“I was so hell bent on getting revenge... I could’ve stopped but I didn’t. I didn’t stop until every last one of them was gone, and it took me too long. I mean, look at you,” he said, gesturing to your stomach. “If I had waited any longer our child would be born and I... I could’ve missed that because of wanting revenge. I’m disgusting.”

“Taehyung stop.”

“Y/N it’s my fault that you’re like this. It’s my fault that you had to suffer and it’s my fault that we-”

You wrapped your arms around his neck as you kissed his lips with passion you hadn’t felt in a long time. Taehyung took the opportunity to wrap his arms around your hips, pulling you closer than you were before. Your stomach pressed against his and your baby swirled and kicked and tumbled inside of your stomach. The air wooshed out of your lungs as you felt them wiggle around. Never had they been so active before.

Taehyung pulled away, looking at you with sheer adoration. “I can feel them,” he said, holding the side of your stomach gently. “Can I?” he asked, looking at you with desperation.

You nodded your head, looking down as he fell to his knees in front of you. Taehyung’s hands pushed your shirt up to expose your full belly. His eyes misted up as he wiped at them furiously. “You’re so beautiful, honestly,” he said, placing his lips against your soft skin.

“You’re so full of shit,” you said, laughing. “I’m the size of a whale,” you complained.

“No you aren’t. You’re pregnant, with my baby, fuck that’s so hot,” he groaned, tilting his head back.

“Yeah?”

“Yes, fuck...” he said, resting his head on your belly. Your baby kicked, making Taehyung’s head pop up quickly. “They kicked! Oh my God, Y/N!”

“Yeah, our baby tends to do that, a lot at night too,” you told him softly.

“Really?” he asked, looking genuinely excited.

“Mhmm,” you said, gazing at Taehyung’s sparkling eyes.

“Y/N,” Taehyung swallowed hard, “can I ask you something?”

“Sure,” you agreed.

“C-Can I stay... with you?”

“What?”

“N-evermind! I’ll get a hotel room or something. Maybe Jin-Hyung will let me stay with him for a while but-”

“Taehyung,” you shushed. He quieted almost immediately.

“Yes?”

“You can stay,” you said softly, “I want you to stay.”

“Really?” he said, astonished.

“Yes, but I’m laying down some ground rules,” you said.

“Of course,” he announced.

“You have to sleep in the same bed as me,” you started. Taehyung simply smiled. “You have to rub my feet when I ask, the first time I ask. And I want you to wash my hair for me,” you said, adding on that last one just to make him annoyed.

“Okay,” he agreed easily.

“And,” you said again.

“And?” he waited patiently.

“And I get to pick the first name of the baby,” you said smirking.

“Can’t we atleast get a list of names we both like together?” he asked, pouting.

“Fine fine, we can do that,” you agreed.

“So I can stay?” he asked, looking for any hesitation in your eyes.

“Yes, Taehyung, you can stay. I want you to stay,” you said again, moving to wrap him in your arms tightly.

“So we’re doing this, officially?”

“I thought it already was?” you asked, holding your hand up to reveal your ring, the one you hadn’t taken off since Taehyung ‘died’.

“You didn’t take it off?”

“How could I? It was one of the only things you ever gave me, besides this,” you said, pointing to your stomach with a laugh.

“I’m not going to apologize,” he said, smiling.

“Don’t want you to,” you said, grinning back.

“Let’s go to bed, my pretty wife,” he said, taking your hand and leading you into the bedroom.

The pair of you laid down, not even wanting to change. Taehyung comfortably wrapped his arms around you, pulling you back towards his body.

It felt like being whole again, everything was right with the world.

And everything was going to be okay.

---

Everything was not okay.

“Taehyung I swear to fuck if you hit one more goddamn bump in this road I will slit your throat,” you growled, hanging onto the bar above the window for dear life.

“Baby I’m going as smoothly as I can,” he argued.

“Bullshit, it’s like you’re doing it on purpose!” you accused.

“Y/N,” he countered.

“Do not Y/N me right now Kim Taehyung or I will fucking kill you!”

It had started about an hour ago.

Your baby was quiet, Taehyung and you sleeping soundly when you felt it. A distinct cramp coming from your well... down there.

Readjusting yourself you thought that might help and make it go away. You’d been cramping a lot lately, something the doctor told you was totally normal in your stage of pregnancy. But if it got any more intense then you should probably come in.

Then a sharp stabbing pain made you jolt up in bed. Taehyung was quick to get up too, looking blearily at you in concern.

“What’s wrong baby?” he asked, rubbing your shoulder soothingly.

“Nothing I just-ah!” you gasped, feeling another sharp pain shoot through your body.

“Y/N?” he asked, turning to face you more directly.

“I-I think I’m having contractions,” you paled.

“Are you sure they aren't braxton hicks?” he asked, trying to narrow down the issue.

“No. These feel completely different than those, I-I wanna go to the hospital,” you said, moving to stand up when a rush of fluid went down your leg.

“Fuck, Y/N,” he said, staring at your soaked legs.

“Get the car.”

That’s how you wound up driving to the hospital at three in the morning on a Tuesday.

Pulling into the parking lot Taehyung came around quickly to help get you out of the car. You took his arm, legs feeling wobbly as you tried to stand. Taehyung helped you the whole way, listening to you curse him out while you made your way across the parking lot.

It was a blur from there. Taehyung’s voice the only thing you could clearly make out.

You were in a wheelchair and you could feel the urge to push, you needed to push.

“Taehyung,” you whimpered, reaching for him desperately.

“It’s okay, Y/N, you’re going to be okay,” he said, wrapping his fingers around yours as you made it to the room.

Doctors were in a flurry around you, people poking and prodding at you, adjusting this and moving that when you finally had enough.

“Stop with all the fucking around and just help me push for fucksake!” you screamed.

Everyone stopped and the doctor towards the back seemed to catch on.

“She’s dilated she needs to push,” he said, coming forward and adjusting your legs in the stirrups so that you could have better leverage.

“Okay sweetheart now take a deep breath and push,” the nurse behind you said.

Pushing was so hard, it was like nothing you’d ever felt before.

It was as if no matter how hard you pushed nothing would happen.

“Taehyung,” you whined, making a grabbing motion for him. Soon a big hand was wrapped around yours, warmth enveloping you as you felt the urge to push again.

“Come on baby, push, just like they said, you can do it,” Taehyung encouraged.

“I can’t. Taehyung it hurts too much,” you whimpered, grabbing onto him desperately.

“I can see the head! You’re doing amazing!”

“See? They’re almost here baby, just a little more,” Taehyung said, tears in his eyes.

“Do you got my six?” you asked, looking at him with misty eyes as well.

“I got your six baby, till the end,” he nodded.

One more big push and you felt instant relief.

“Sir, do you want to cut the cord?”

Soon Taehyung’s warmth was replaced by a small body being placed on your chest, crying was all you heard. Instinctually, you brought them to your breast, letting them latch on and drink their fill.

Then a small kiss was placed to the top of your head.

“Baby she’s beautiful,” he cried, nestling his head into your hair.

“She? It’s a girl?” you asked, looking up at him.

“Yes, it’s a girl,” he acknowledged.

“Oh my God,” you cried, wrapping your arms around your baby, coddling her to your chest.

“What’s the name?” A nurse from the back asked, probably getting a crib for her ready.

“Rose,” you said, instantly knowing the name was perfect for your child.

Taehyung made a small whimpering sound from behind you, and you knew he liked it too.

Turning slightly you brought him to your lips, a sweet kiss being shared between the two of you.

“I love you Taehyung,” you said, wiping a single tear from his eye.

“I love you too, Y/N, both of you.”

368 notes · View notes

catboymingi · 3 years

Text

reborn - in this life and the next chap. 3

navi/masterlist

story masterlist

pairing: mingi x reader

genre: angst; soulmates & reincarnation au

word count: 4.9k

warnings: dealing with grief & loss; mentions of suicide (not by any character); language

a/n: credits the shower as a co-author because it fills all the plot holes for me

life could be more cruel than anyone would ever be able to imagine, rewriting stories whose final chapter had already been decided on

once you had the little holes punched into your skin and the small jewelry put in you did feel a lot more like yourself. or a person you wouldn’t mind being, maybe. you felt like you’d taken control. finally, for the first time in forever, you didn’t mind the person you saw in the mirror. maybe it wasn’t who you would’ve been if nothing had happened, but something had happened and you felt like this was a pretty good visual representation of the change you’d gone through mentally and emotionally. you were happy about it, happier than just getting piercings maybe would have warranted, but you felt you had the right to be a little overexcited about it. compensation for a completely unexciting life, in a way.

maybe wasting your money on this hadn’t been the smartest choice, but maybe it wasn’t a waste if it finally gave you some sense of… you couldn’t even name it; accomplishment wasn’t the right word, but it wasn’t exactly content either. identity was only part of it, but there was no word to fully describe what it was.

wearing your headphones proved to be somewhat painful now that your ear had been mistreated like this, but you didn’t care. you went home, listening to music, feeling… good? feeling good. showering again when you were there to fully get rid of the blood that you’d have to deal with these next days or weeks, dressing into your pyjamas even though it wasn’t pyjama time yet, and watching a movie on your phone because you didn’t want to change mingi’s most recent tv channel. you were relaxed.

soulmates were an unfair business. some knew theirs ever since they were children - the mark appearing when the neighbours’ adorable little child was born, who just so happened to have a mark right from birth. others had to look for their soulmate, roaming the world to find them, eventually, never stopping until they found them, until that very first kiss, a spontaneous kiss, made the mark disappear but the heart gain so much. soulmates brought incredible amounts of happiness to those lucky enough to find them at a young age - but the pain they brought was unparalleled. more than one unlucky soul has tried to aid in speeding up the reincarnation process when their other half left them to dance with the souls that were waiting for a new chance at life, unaware that fate did what fate did and that ending yourself would not speed the process up.

some people spend a lifetime looking, only to find the soul matching with theirs for a brief glimpse before it was taken from them. soulmates brought uncomparable joy, but the sorrow they caused made some people think they were not worth it. there was one soul made for yours, and when that soul was taken from life it made many feel like their purpose had been taken. there was one chance for you, every lifetime; a second mark in the same lifetime was entirely unheard of. until now.

yunho’s eyes near fell out of their sockets when mingi entered his apartment again. and the tall brunette was about to question the expression, but his friend already explained himself before he had any chance to ask.

“mingi, what did you do?” was it an accusation? it sounded like one. the blond sounded shocked, so incredibly shocked that he started questioning himself. what had he done? the other had known about his plans for the day, so it couldn’t be the fact that he’d gone out. there had to be something else, but what could it possibly be?

“your neck. look at your neck!” and he found himself dragged to the bathroom, to the mirror, to reveal just what had shocked yunho so much.

“what the fuck?” he knew what this was. of course he knew. it was the same he’d found on his cheek, embarrassing him, until that very first time she kissed his cheek and the mark disappeared and he knew he was meant for her, meant for her only. except she was dead, and his mark had disappeared years ago, and it had looked different. it had looked softer, in a way, like her, who had always been so soft. this one had rough edges, a darker shade, though less prominent. it looked almost like a hickey, and that was probably what his friend had mistaken it for. but he knew what it was.

“don’t tell me you made out with y/n.”

the suspicion hurt, but he couldn’t blame yunho. yunho had never gotten a decent look at his own mark, because it was on his shoulder blade and twisting your body to be able to see it in the mirror made it look different than if you were to see it like that, and it was not like this, of course - the marks, he’d learned from talking to other people, were a lot like the kiss that would make them disappear. soft kisses left soft marks, passionate, angry kisses left marks looking like bruises. but he didn’t want to think about what this meant.

“yunho, has anyone ever had two soulmates in one life? please tell me i’m wrong, please don’t tell me that i just got a new soulmate just like this.”

now it dawned on the blond just what he had seen. that it wasn’t a hickey - that a hickey would be preferable.

“oh fuck.”

that was a very accurate representation of how mingi felt right now. he couldn’t just… he couldn’t just replace her, even if that was fate’s intention. he simply couldn’t. she’d been his everything, she still was, and there was also the fear that his new soulmate would be a literal baby, because that’s how these marks worked. they appeared at the exact time your soulmate entered the world. except he’d been in this world for more than twenty-one years already. the implications that held were weird, even when he knew that he wouldn’t be a creep.

“this has got to be wrong. some kind of… fate mistake. mislabelling. can fate mislabel their soulmates?” the brunette seemed like he was about to have a breakdown, like his brain was glitching, but who could blame him? this was entirely unheard of, and no one knew what this meant - was she gone from his life now? had he been assigned a new soulmate meant to replace her? he wasn’t over her, he wasn’t ready to be over her, he wasn’t ready to give up on her. he didn’t want to do that.

“let’s sit down.” he didn’t protest - he probably wouldn’t even have protested if yunho had told him to go rob a bank, he was so out of it.

“i’m sorry, mingi.” he knew it had to be hard for his friend, and he placed a hand on his shoulder to offer at least a little comfort. though he knew he couldn’t help with whatever the brunette was going through right now he could be there. that was all he could do.

“what the fuck, yunho. what the fuck am i supposed to do about this?”

“i wish i knew.” he could say that fate had its reasons, that there was a purpose for this, that it hadn’t happened if it wasn’t meant to be, but he knew none of that would make the situation better. none of that would help. the only thing that would help was self isolation and lots of crying, as proven by experience. and maybe a lot of makeup to cover the mark up until he was ready to face it - if he’d ever be. that was what he’d get now, for as long as he needed, because life had been hard enough for him already.

you hadn’t seen mingi in a while, though he’d messaged you telling you he wasn’t doing too well, and that if you wanted you should continue with the dancing and he’d just join whenever, catch up with you. and you did, though it felt a little odd doing it by yourself, without him. you’d considered joining the public classes, but you weren’t sure if you wanted to surround yourself with so many strangers yet. and you didn’t want to do it without mingi, strangely enough, you noticed when you had joined one of those classes to just try it out. you just did things by yourself, mainly teaching yourself at home (the apartment was spacious, and the easiest moves you managed to do without moving anything at all) and keeping yourself fit.

you did meet yunho sometimes, though he seemed to mainly be taking care of his friend, which was fair enough. you’d started volunteering at the pet shelter to pass the time, and it made you feel nice, accomplished, and the pets were adorable. if you could you’d take all of them home.

you were there again when you felt your phone buzz, and because you didn’t have any fixed tasks or working hours you decided to check the message. it was the man you hadn’t seen in what, two weeks now?, and you found yourself surprised.

[mingi]: hey, do you want to meet again? i wasn’t doing too well, sorry about kind of ignoring you

[mingi]: but i’m better now, so if you’d still like?

a little dog demanded your attention, so replying was neglected for a few minutes, and when you replied mingi sent another message, too.

[mingi]: you obviously don’t have to though

[y/n]: sure! when?

a somewhat odd pair of messages, but he quickly answered yours, telling you whenever you were free.

[y/n]: i started volunteering at the pet shelter, you could join whenever? i’m there rn too

[mingi]: mind if i join now?

[y/n]: be my guest

you were somewhat surprised that he wanted to join you so fast, but then again, why not? if he was feeling better now there was no reason to wait until some fake-polite amount of days between the suggestion and the actual meet-up had passed, especially since you hadn’t seen each other in a few weeks. plus, you quite literally lived at his place, so you at least felt like this whole pretend-shame wasn’t needed here when you weren’t even going on dates or whatever. you were just hanging out.

when he arrived it was obvious that he really hadn’t been doing well lately. he’d been somewhat lanky when you first met him, but now he looked like a twig. his eyes looked somewhat glossy, as if he’d spent a lot of time crying recently (he had) and the expression had become the default. he looked like shit, in all honesty, very much the opposite of you, who’d had some kind of glow up. you’d managed to score some kind of minijob as a dog walker and had touched up on your face a little more, now also having an eyebrow and a lip piercing. you felt great, you felt like a person, and you were smiling brightly when mingi came in.

“hey!”, you greeted him enthusiastically while one of your hands was buried in a cat’s fur - you’d just brushed her, and now you were checking if you’d missed any knots. it was a somewhat funny sight - all black attire (though covered in light fur from the pets that had won your heart), looking somewhat scary, if you wanted to call it that, but beaming at a little cat with soft eyes.

“hey”, he replied, with less enthusiasm, but you didn’t mind. “seems like you found someone to keep you company.”

“they’re so cute”, you informed him, and the brunette was glad he’d recommended this place. it seemed like the perfect fit for you, just from what he was able to see in that moment. it was sweet, the way your eyes were shining so brightly; at least one of you had been able to get somewhat back on track.

“what’s your job?”

“whatever they need help with, right now i brushed this little princess. excuse the mess on my clothes.” so the fur hadn’t gone unnoticed by you either. “how have you been? besides like, really bad.”

when you asked him how he’d been was the first time you really looked at him, and he really looked at you. he was surprised to find you’d changed, quite drastically. your hair was still the same bright blue he’d gotten to know you with - though you’d probably redyed it by now -, but your face was adorned by some metal that he was at least 90% certain had not yet been there the last time he’d seen you. or he just really hadn’t paid attention to you.

“besides really bad? fucking awful, i guess. but it’s fine now.” (it wasn’t, but he wasn’t about to talk about that.) “how about you?”

you kind of wanted to ask about what had happened, but you felt it wasn’t your place. if it had been you then he wouldn’t have asked to meet you again, and that was all the information you had a right to.

“i’ve been… good, i think? been here a lot, danced a little, got a makeover.”

so the metal had really not been there last time yet. it suited you, though, he had to admit, or maybe it was how you didn’t seem to want to hide your face all the time anymore.

“i followed your advice”, you then informed him, and his eyes widened a little in surprise because he didn’t even really remember the advice he’d given with all that he’d felt and thought about in the meantime.

“at least i didn’t give bad advice.” though he wasn’t smiling you could tell he was attempting to joke, so you grinned at him, half because you appreciated the joke and half for his sake. your attention was quickly stolen by the little cat in your lap, though, that didn’t seem to like being ignored in favour of you talking to him, so you cooed at her, telling her that she was your favourite and that you just had to say hello because you hadn’t seen him in a while. it was almost as if you were talking to a little child, comforting the cat until she was purring in your lap.

then, someone called out for you, noticing mingi first after they’d come around the corner you two were hidden behind. or, he wasn’t exactly hidden with his 183cm, but the wall still managed to keep him out of sight.

“hello, can i help you?”

he froze, as if his mouth had forgotten how to talk. logically, he knew there would be people there. but emotionally? it seemed like he hadn’t been ready for the mortifying ordeal of being perceived yet.

“he’s a friend”, you replied for him, “the one who gave me the idea of volunteering here.”

the lady nodded, smiling at him because she most likely owed him for getting her one of the most eager volunteers she’d ever had. then, her attention was back on you.

“it’s time to feed the bunnies, if you wouldn’t mind?”

of course you didn’t, placing the cat on your lap back where she was spending her days. your pitiful expression didn’t go unnoticed by the tall brunette, and he thought it was sweet how you felt sorry for the animals. you seemed to have a big heart.

and even bigger eyes when you turned to look at him, asking if he wanted to help you feed them. he would have done so either way - that’s what he was at the shelter for -, but the look you gave him, the pleading eyes, got rid of even the slightest doubt there possibly might have been otherwise.

he didn’t regret joining you either, because the animals were adorable and you looked genuinely happy to be around them, and he found himself relaxing a little. it was a good atmosphere - hectic, of course with all the animals, but the people didn’t seem stressed like customer service workers usually were. maybe because there were no animal equivalents of a karen wanting to speak to the manager, something he sadly still did have to deal with.

it seemed like mingi enjoyed both your presence and the shelter, genuinely so, because he spent quite some time with you, deciding to join you if the only time he was free was when you’d be at the shelter, but also continuing the dance lessons you’d started before his two week self isolation period. you sometimes hung out with yunho as well, both by yourself and with the brunette - it had become much less awkward now that you’d got to know both of them individually -, and it was during one of your yunho hangout sessions that you realised that you were an idiot, a fool that had fallen hopelessly in love with someone that would never reciprocate.

“i don’t know how you do it, but whatever you did to bring mingi back among the living, keep doing that.”

“how do you mean?” you hadn’t even done anything, not that you knew, at least. you were just spending time with him, acting as you probably would with any other friend. but maybe that was it - you treated mingi like a friend. you genuinely saw him as one, too.

“for some time i suspected he just forgot how to smile, physically. i almost got a heart attack when i saw him smiling at you”, the blond laughed out before becoming a little more serious again.

“i don’t know what’s up, but he’s eating again. he seems healthier. and i’m really happy about that because he pretty much looked like a skeleton for months now.”

you remembered that, remembered his sunken cheeks and dead eyes, the way he barely even seemed to want to move or talk. and while you hadn’t noticed it changing, now that you thought about it you did realise that yunho was right. he seemed healthier, and he did smile sometimes. it wasn’t a very big or bright one, but it counted.

“i’m just glad he seems to be feeling better.” you genuinely were. you’d come to care about mingi, though you first realised how much when yunho had hinted at you being the reason for the brunette’s… not recovery, but improvement. thinking that you maybe meant something to him as well made you happier than it should, considering how he still seemed to be in love with her, considering how it hadn’t been too long since her death, considering how he was still mourning. you shouldn’t feel anything other than purely platonic things for him, but you did. though you weren’t about to act on them - you knew you shouldn’t, you knew he wouldn’t reciprocate, and you weren’t about to risk ruining the friendship you had managed to build up. one of the only two friendships you’d managed to build up.

“he is. he won’t admit it, but i think it’s good for him to be getting out some. to have someone energetic around, even when he isn’t feeling energetic himself.”

you nodded; there wasn’t much to say to that, but you could imagine how the blond was right. you’d noticed something similar happening in yourself when you first started at the shelter, being forcibly dragged out of your slump, and eventually you enjoyed being out in the world again. you just hoped the effect on mingi would last, because he deserved to feel well, or better, at least.

it seemed like it was lasting when the tall brunette still spent a lot of time with you, trying to get to know you, the you that you’d built for yourself, the you that looked so tough on the outside but that he’d found to be a total softie around the small animals you took care of like your life depended on it. he even started laughing, daily, and while you were glad about that you also noticed yourself fall deeper and deeper for him, something you were significantly less glad about. you knew it was hopeless, it was only going to hurt you in the long run, especially because you hadn’t yet been informed that fate had someone new in mind for mingi, so to you it was very obvious that you’d be pining for him, one-sided, and that he’d never reciprocate. but he was your friend, so you spent time with him still. you wanted to. and in a way, knowing that he wouldn’t reciprocate helped you not get your hopes up too much, helped you be able to ignore your silly crush more easily. you just hung out, as friends did, and you enjoyed the time you spent with him. he had interesting things to tell, genuinely so, and he also seemed genuinely interested in your life. in the things you did in your free time when you weren’t hanging out, in the plans you had for yourself, all those little details that you hadn’t felt like anyone cared about before now. maybe that was what you liked so much about him - that he treated you like a full person, not like someone that was a poor copy of what they’d been before. he didn’t seem to care about what had been, he cared about what was now. and you knew your standards were impossibly low, falling for someone that treated you like a person and was also quite handsome, if you dared to admit it, but you couldn’t help it.

you never made a move, though. you were a decent person, and you also weren’t exactly into getting your heart broken. you were his friend, nothing more, and as his friend you also visited him at yunho’s place sometimes, though he still refused to visit his own apartment. it was understandable. and there was no risk of things turning into a dusty hell that could be mistaken for an archaeological site, because while you didn’t move things you made sure the apartment didn’t drown in new trash, or dirt, so he didn’t need to take care of that.

the time at the blond’s apartment was mainly spent talking, preparing frozen food, being somewhat domestic. just hanging out, watching movies sometimes, with you pretending you hadn’t fallen for the tall brunette. and failing, being obvious to yunho, though he never mentioned it. he just watched as you looked at mingi with those hopeful, soft eyes, as you were happy to get to spend time with him, watched you nervously play with your hands that first time his friend pulled you close while watching a movie. watched you be in love, and watched you set yourself up to have your heart broken. and though he knew that his friend wouldn’t reciprocate, he couldn’t help but hope that maybe he might, because you’d dragged his friend out of the depression he’d found himself in for months, you were someone that could understand, you were someone that cared for him even when you’d first gotten to know him after he’d been broken, you were someone that wanted to be with mingi even when he was still somewhat of a shadow of himself. you cared for him even when he wasn’t happy, you accepted the hurt that had made itself a home inside of mingi’s chest. and yunho hoped that maybe his friend might reciprocate because the blond cared for you, like a brother, he had found that you’d made yourself a home in his heart with your kind and understanding behaviour, with your compassion, with your considerate actions. with your big and soft heart. if mingi would ever find himself giving his heart away again, yunho would want it to be you. but he knew the brunette wasn’t ready yet, was still hurting so incredibly much, so he never brought it up. neither to you nor his friend, because things would be weird either way. because neither you nor his friends would know how to act if your feelings were, in a way, exposed, if you had to face the fact that you were in love with mingi, that you hoped to be more than just his friend. yunho just watched, and felt his heart hurt more with every hopeful look that mingi seemed entirely oblivious to. because, just like you, he knew you had given your heart to someone that would not be able to give his to you.

your movie nights had become a somewhat frequent happening; he’d often invite you over for a movie after dancing, or after spending time at the shelter. you were meeting up almost every afternoon now, after his work, and he spent his days off with you, as well. and while you tried so very hard to not get your hopes up it was so difficult not to when he was so kind and sweet and so beautiful and understanding, when he liked you for you and not for who you were supposed to be, when he supported whatever you did in order to feel more like a person. when he treated you like a full person, too, not just a half, not just part of one. when to him it seemed okay that you first knew yourself a few months ago, that there was nothing more to you. and when you still felt that weird feeling of familiarity around him, even though it now was overtaken by one of actual familiarity the more you got to know him.

you were watching another movie with him, a movie neither of you had seen before, and while that was nothing new because you often watched movies with him what was new was that today, you were in his bed, because it was late and he didn’t want to bother yunho and, though he wouldn’t tell you, he was lonely. he wanted someone there. he wanted you there. so he’d asked you if you wanted to stay the night, because it was dark out and he wouldn’t feel good having you walk home alone in the dark.

you knew not to expect anything from this, you didn’t expect anything from this, just a movie. as you always did. it meant nothing to him, as it never did. but he took you by surprise.

you hadn’t expected the night to end like this even when he’d asked you to stay, hadn’t expected to be laying in bed with his arm around you as you were watching some movie together. neither of you had known about the fact that there was a scene that was bordering on suggestive, and you were slightly uncomfortable because it gave you thoughts you knew you shouldn’t be having about the man next to you, until mingi’s thumb was brushing your waist. just when he’d moved so that his hand was under your shirt, resting on the naked skin of your waist, rather than on top of the fabric you didn’t know, and you were inclined to ignore it, but then he squeezed lightly, and when you looked up at him you found him already looking at you rather than the movie.

“you look really nice”, he said quietly, leaving you so unsure of what to do. you liked him, you did, you’d grown to like him over the weeks you’d spent getting to know each other and having a hobby that was only fun when he was around, but you also knew that he wasn’t exactly over his love. it would be stupid to try anything, it would, but he looked so beautiful like this, and it was already late so your brain wasn’t working at its best, and you blamed that for you leaning forward, just a bit, and pressing a small kiss to his neck, where it went over into his shoulder.

you wanted to apologise immediately after, but his other hand moved to your hair, fiddling with it and gently keeping you in place as if to tell you that it was okay, that he didn’t mind, quite the opposite. and you were stupid, fucking moronic, because you got your hopes up, even when his hand urged you to kiss his neck a little harder, even when he grabbed your hips to move you on top of him. even when he didn’t kiss you even once.

“mingi”, you stopped when you felt his hands wander. “are you sure you really want to keep going?”

you should have asked earlier. you should have saved yourself the pain and the embarrassment of being very obviously into it, into him, as proven by the few hickeys you’d left. you shouldn’t even have kissed him in the first place. you knew as soon as he opened his mouth.

“i’m sure. please make me forget.”

your body dropped to his side as if you’d been shot, as if all energy had left you. you were a fucking fool to think this would be anything more for him than just a way to get over his pain, even if just for a night. you were the dumbest person you knew. and yet you stayed in bed with him, let him hold you tight, because even though it didn’t mean anything to him you could at least pretend that he was cuddling you for you and not because his heart hurt and you just so happened to be there. you forced your tears down, something you had way too much practice in but something you hadn’t needed to do since you started spending time with the man next to you, and pretended for just a night that someone cared about you the way you so desperately wanted to be cared about.

the next morning, however, you didn’t leave him the chance to wake up next to you.

23 notes · View notes