16: Twinkeyz // Alpha-Jerk
Alpha-Jerk
Twinkeyz
1979, Plurex
The Twinkeyz were a late ‘70s Sacramento garage rock band orbiting guitarist/singer/songwriter Donnie Jupiter. They cut a couple of singles in '77 and '78 and the Alpha-Jerk full-length in '79. The LP apparently suffered from mixing and mastering issues, and it disappeared virtually without a trace, taking the band with it. Jupiter would spend some time in the late ‘80s and early ‘90s playing bass in the even more obscure act Lizards, while also building a career in comics under his birthname Don Marquez. The Twinkeyz’ faint legend lingered though; their debut single “Aliens in Our Midst” is a regular on gay punk compilations, and they’re occasionally cited as a forerunner of queercore acts like Pansy Division.
The Twinkeyz were a B-movie Velvet Underground, laconic, witty rock and roll sweatered in primitive synth warbles and (to quote Scott Miller of Game Theory) “enough guitar effects to stun an elephant.” The lead guitarist (presumably Jupiter) is often the only one who seems more than minimally competent, and (although the songs on Alpha-Jerk were drawn from different sessions) the mix uniformly sounds like it’s thudding from a blown speaker. If the choice to self-produce robs Alpha-Jerk of a professional sheen, they also get to do a lot of stuff most producers wouldn’t allow. Nearly every track is studded with odd noises and found sounds, giving it a hand-made texture that suits the peculiarity of the music.
As with Suicide’s Alan Vega, the thing that makes Jupiter’s blunt songwriting distinctive is that it feels like an indoor kid’s idea of cool teenage music. “Strange Feeling” approximates then-current new wave pop, but the flatness of its affect seems to imply having feelings at all is the strange part; “Sweet Nothing” pulls the archetypally dumb garage move of ripping off the title (and nearly the melody) of a more well-known song, like they were trying to recreate “Oh! Sweet Nuthin’” from memory after dad broke their copy of Loaded over his knee. The lyrics about love, UFOs, psychic powers, and cartoons are obviously cute, but sometimes a sick sense of humour peeps through. Referring to weird psych as “bad drug” music in a well-worn cliché, but it’s the right description of “Alpha-Jerk,” a discordant dirge that could be about a kaiju or the Book of Revelations. The noises in the mix resemble the work of a crow leaving shiny bits and bobs on a tombstone.
It's all very good stuff for anyone with a taste for wimpy garage rock, but “Aliens in Our Midst” stands hips and knees over anything else here. The lyric cleverly mixes yarns about literal aliens with uncharacteristically direct anecdotes about queers and weirdos who “turn out okay” despite shitty circumstances, creating an anthem that is sentimental, bleakly funny, and ultimately hopeful in the exact ratio I adore. The campy call and response vocals in the chorus, Plan 9-ass guitar tone, subtly counterintuitive riff… it’s the stuff abductions are made of.
16/365
Sidebar: Cartuneland.com, the bizarre website of Donnie Jupiter (AKA Don Marquez)
As noted, Jupiter/Marquez mostly switched to illustration after the collapse of the Twinkeyz, and he's still selling his art on eBay. His own site, Cartuneland.com, is bewildering and uncanny in the way webpages end up when a brand outsources its content management to an overseas SEO firm. Samples of his fantasy paperback-style art are interspersed with bland stock photography, and the structure of the site is clearly based on a corporate template—only Marquez isn’t advertising himself as a freelancer, and the site isn't connected to his eBay page. The contact and social links are variously empty or broken, and the links to his past comics direct to Wayback Machine-captures from an Angelfire-era version of the site the artist probably built himself.
Strangest of all is the blog which, shockingly, has two posts this month alone—both of them about the Bodhran, an Irish hand drum. Of the six total posts on the blog as of this writing, two of them are interviews with Marquez. The others are ChatGPT-quality posts about general topics in music (e.g. “Connecting literature to art”; “What is a tin whistle?”) and a peculiar first-person story about learning to play the flute, all credited to someone named Rachel George. The idea was probably to pad out the blog with keyword-laden content to help the site become more visible to search engines, but to what end? Is Marquez really all that bent on becoming the most visible hit on “Don Marquez music” or “Bodhran for beginners”? You wouldn’t be able to tell from the interviews, which feature terse answers from the former Twinkey, such as:
Q: Many of your creations are based on classic horror and sci-fi films from the 1950s.
DM: I wasn’t trying to be retro.
Q: What’s missing from the current cinema that makes old films so memorable?
DM: Horror is a broad genre. Horror is a vast genre.
What we’re looking at here is most likely a Fiver contractor’s unfinished attempt to turn Jupiter’s website into a place to sell his original art, but as it stands it’s an oddly perfect web presence for a 73-year-old garage micro-legend and purveyor of swords ‘n’ tits fantasy. If anybody finds Question Mark’s Livejournal, please drop a link in the comments. And Donnie, if you're reading this, get in touch and I will fix your website for cheap!
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TWO new Heathen Discos for you -> LISTEN
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Theo Parrish – Smile (single / Music Is…, 1997)
Velocette – Bound in a Nutshell (Discotheque Saudades / A Colourful Storm, 2020)
M. Geddes Gengras – Lapidus (Time Makes Nothing Happen / Hausu Mountain, 2020)
The Cool Greenhouse – Alexa! (single / Melodic, 2020)
Eugenius – Mary Queen of Scots (Mary Queen of Scots / August, 1994)
Stark Naked – Sins (Stark Naked / RCA, 1971)
Fly Ashtray – Mulligan (We Buy Everything You Own / Old Gold, 2018)
Richard Lloyd – Alchemy (Alchemy / Elektra, 1979)
Cabaret Voltaire – What's Going On? (Shadow of Fear / Mute, 2020)
Lync – Silver Spoon Glasses (These Are Not Fall Colors / K, 1994)
Van Duren – Grow Yourself Up (Are You Serious? / Big Sound, 1978)
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Tony Joe White – I Want Love (Tween You and Me) (Homemade Ice Cream / Warner Bros., 1972)
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Dick Diver – Waste the Alphabet (Melbourne, Florida / Trouble in Mind, 2015)
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