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variousqueerthings · 5 months

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And I’ve been flouting the principle of my people ever since

FINAL EPISODE FINAL EPISODE FINAL!!!!! "Time Of The Doctor," let's do it: it's ASDA's Own Brand "Parting Of The Ways"

sexism rank objectification (female character is ogled/harassed/turned into a sex joke by the doctor and/or a lead we’re supposed to root for and/or the camera): 4/10

sexism rank plot-point (lead female character is only there to serve plot, not to have her emotional interiority explored, or given agency to her emotional interiority): 2/10

interesting complex or pointlessly complex (does the complexity serve the narrative or does it just serve to be confusing as a stand-in for smart, this includes visually): 3/10

furthers character and/or lore and/or plot development (broader question that ties into the previous ones, at least two of these, ideally three should be fulfilled): 4/10

companion matters (the companion doesn’t always have to be there, but if the companion is there, can they function without the doctor– and overall per season how often is the companion the focus or POV of the story): 3/10

the doctor is more than just “godlike” (examines the doctor’s flaws and limitations, doesn’t solve a plot by having it revolve entirely around the doctor’s existence): 3/10

doesn’t look down on previous doctor who (by erasing or mocking its importance, by redoing and “bettering” previous beloved plotpoints or characters, etc.): 5/10

isn’t trying to insert hamfisted sexiness (m*ffat famously talked a lot about how dw should be sexier multiple times, he sucks at writing it): 4/10

internal world has consistency (characters have backgrounds, feel rooted in a place with other people, generally feel like they have Lives): 4/10

Politics (how conservative is the story): 4/10

FULL RATING: 36/100 (if I can count….)

CONGRATULATIONS! ELEVEN'S RUN HAS ENDED ON THE OFFICIALLY LOWEST RATED EPISODE BASED ON THESE CRITERIA OF THE ENTIRE RUN!

Now there's a saying that goes something along the lines of being Bad is not bad. Boring is bad

well this episode is Bad and Boring. but at least the music is great!

OBJECTIFICATION: there's a woman who's the high priest of a religious organisation (it's in fact the religious organisation that filters back in time and causes all the trouble for the Eleventh Doctor this whole era) and guess what????

she's sexy

shocking, really. she's the amalgamation of the River Song/Queen Liz The Tenth/Nefertiti with a sprinkle of Irene Adler Bullshit given one last Hurrah!

genuinely she's meant to be at the centre for quite a complex arc of powerful leader with whom the Doctor has an uneasy alliance to years long antagonism with a dash of strange friendship to sticking up for one another at the last Conflict, and all I can tell you about her is that she is sexy, allegedly

OH also that she's apparently a psychopath too

there's also non-consensual kissing, which I've opted to put in the "sexiness" category, but belongs just as much here!

PLOT-POINT: Clara calls the Doctor to be her pretend boyfriend for Christmas (at least she has a family, and while we've not properly met them before now outside of her dead mum in flashbacks, I can buy these people in this estate!)

and from there Clara's feelings about things is uh. The Doctor is great and please don't leave me behind, which the Doctor does... twice!

but this is no Parting Of The Ways/Dooms Day big dramatic event -- Clara is not the focal point here, or her emotions about her life and what it means to be whisked away from it on these adventures, no matter how dangerous, or how it affects her relationship with just-met family, or anything to do with class or feelings of self-worth or or or... no nonoooo what this episode suggests is that she fancies the Doctor

and she has another similar Moment to Parting Of The Ways in which the Doctor changes in front of her (the big emotional moment is with a hallucinated Amy Pond, Clara is kind of just... also there), and she asks him not to, even though to her, as far as I've seen this season, the Doctor is a really good mate, whom she already knows regenerates, because she's seen all 11 of their lives, so where is this emotion coming from? Idk, I guess because she thinks Eleven is hot, or something, that's all I can come up with. general human angst about things not being the same? whatever it is, it's not grounded in anything character-based that I've seen

the point is that things happen and she does some things but none of this is about her and she could as well not be in this story

COMPLEXITY: ARGH okay so me calling this Parting Of The Ways redux -- the Doctor lands on Trenzalore (without knowing it's Trenzalore?) after a bunch of pointless buildup that is way too similar to Pandorica Opens and once again gathers the greatest hits of Daleks, Cybermen and... Slitheen (this has happened twice, does M*ffat know the Slitheen are a family and not a species? gosh I'm getting pedantic now, but you ain't seen nothing yet, because I've just watched all of Eleven's era and had to suffer through things that could have been good but instead were.... this!)

and other species, Sontaran uh... oh Angels at the beginning and... just take my word for it, other species. because there's a Signal, and the Signal is beaming out a Question, and the Question is... it's still Doctor Who, that's still The Question, which the Answer is a Code Word that will bring back the Time Lords from where they're hiding. so many things are Capitalised, because everything is given Capital Importance All The Time

Anyway, this is all centred on a... town called Christmas. because it's a Christmas episode. we're really going to have to get into some cultural Christianity type judgement at this point I feel, although I do acknowledge this isn't a M*ffat fault so much as the fact that there is a Christmas special. one day the Doctor is going to travel with someone who's idk. Jewish. Hindu. Muslim. Druze. Sikh. Take your pick

I do think M*ffat is worse than RTD for inserting Christmas as this all-important Universal Type Thing, whereas at least in Christmas Invasion it was just like... we're celebrating a local family's Christmas traditions. Runaway Bride? fucking hate Christmas. Titanic episode a bit shakier, but makes fun of Christmas, which I enjoyed

eh The Next Doctor... shakier. anyway, it's shaky, where was I?

A TOWN CALLED CHRISTMAS! where you can only tell the truth, which will not matter at all to the plot, I think? unless I missed something massive while yelling NO STOP FUCKING WHAT???? at the screen

and the Doctor and all these species enter into a several hundred years long stalemate, where the Doctor allegedly can't leave because... they'll bomb it to get rid of the signal that indicates where the Doctor must answer the Question to bring back the Time Lords I think? and then the people of Christmas will die

and they can't invade Christmas because the Doctor is single-handedly defending it, which the Doctor can do now I guess

but then at the end the Doctor can't because he's old and it's been hundreds and hundreds and hundreds of years in this frankly boring as fuck town that never changes and has zero personality, and the Daleks invade, and then Doctor regenerates (he was afraid he couldn't because due to technicalities this is the last regeneration, except we know it's not -- not mad at that, I get it, give it some emotion, makes sense) and uses the energy to just blow up all the Daleks

IIII am not convinced that regeneration energy can blow up all the Dalek ships, dunno... but it's not the stupidest part of this episode, which is really just the Doctor's whole *waves hands* Thing about this town that needs to be this way because the Plot Demands It and the surrounding aliens and the Doctor is so very interesting and powerful and rather than dig into the plot, we have a Voice Over giving quick explanations to tie us in from one scene to the next

I'm not sure we ever find out who that is? but M*ffat LOVES a Voice Over, almost as much as he likes a not-so-cryptic mysterious prophecy wrapped in a simple rhyming sche- OH YEAH WE GET THAT TOO

If I'd known to count these from the beginning I would have done so, because frankly it turned out to be one of my biggest pet peeves of the era. why is this thing happening? oh see, there was a prophetic Rhyme said at some point by any rando so it's gotta, sorry. Prophetic Rhymes. gotta Prophecy, because it's in a rhyme that could have been put together by a five year old, that's how you know it's extra Prophetic

anyway then the Crack In The Wall/Universe reappears in this place and is just vibing with the Doctor for all these years, and at the end Clara kneels down next to it and asks it to... save? the Doctor... I've gotta be honest I must have faded out at that point, because I cannot remember if it's explained

. how does Clara come up with the idea to do this?/what is her connection to the crack in the wall that she'd think it was sentient or even that important to events or idk... capable of doing what it later does?

. how does it become sentient??

. uh what does it do other than be kind of spooky and suck up a few daleks?

. where does it go?

. why was it there?

OH and the Daleks infiltrate that Religious Organisation and take over all of them/turn them into the human Daleks we saw back in Asylum and it's... idk whatever, I never cared about this organisation (but we'll get to that)

and then the Doctor regenerates into Peter Capaldi

the point is, I couldn't help but think of Nine's final episode, staying behind to protect the earth, as every character we met in this two-parter has died doing the same. in this episode Eleven stays to protect... some people in some place who have no real character other than as reflecting onto the Doctor. Rose and Clara are both sent away, and both come back, but for Clara that's not part of her arc, it's just that she arrives at key moments to witness the Doctor Doing Stuff

all of the emotional weight behind Parting Of The Ways is superficially recreated in this story, right down to big old Massive Dalek Spooky Voice, which I think epitomises M*ffat's writing. stay on the surface and it'll feel epic and big and complex and like it's emotionally doing something and going somewhere, look at it the tiniest bit closer and it's just... Flash Scene after Flash Scene

CHARACTERS/LORE/PLOT: And then the Doctor regenerates into Peter Capaldi. nothing else important happens in this episode. Clara and the Eleventh Doctor end statically (no real Anger anger about being abandoned twice, it's a short little argument and then they hug the first time and the second she's just... there at the end)

no new info really on the Time Lords/Gallifrey. the name being a Code Word might be new actually

um. Christmas is just some place at the end, why is it safe now?

COMPANIONS MATTER: Sorry Clara you got pulled into the Bullshit of a patented M*ffat finale episode

“GODLIKE” DOCTOR: uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuurgh the Doctor can single-handedly hold off fleets of Daleks, Cybermen, Angels, Sontarans...... Slitheen... I guess... etcetc... and yes they can't bomb the place from orbit, but wow what a way to render all of the main players in DW as apparently utterly boring when up against specialist boy of all time

also the episode cloaks itself in so much grandeur (the most successful layer of which is of course Murray Gold's score), and so much alleged mystery and Oh The Doctor Is So Interesting for a story in which, I cannot stress enough, despite my large write-up above, Barely anything happens!

back into pedantic mode but having just watched Eleven's whole era, which had a few great episodes, a bunch of mediocre ones, and wahaaay too many absolutely unwatchable ones, I find the speech at the end to be entirely too meta self-aggrandising. what are the important things about Eleven, what do we take away? that it was all super awesome and "I'll never forget when the Doctor was me" said straight at the camera -- I'm shocked he didn't wink

yes, Nine had "you were fantastic and so was I" (paraphrased I know), and Ten had "I don't want to go," but it's based in what's been going on with the characters up until that point in various ways, and also wasn't preluded by seasons of narrative that made you want to claw your brains out, so that a line about not wanting to forget a single moment makes you go "actually I'd be happy to forget a fair bit"

this probably feels different if one really enjoyed this Era outside of select episodes, but since I have sooo much baggage tied into it and it hasn't mysteriously improved upon rewatch, it makes me want to shake M*ffat by the scruff of his neck

PREVIOUS DOCTOR WHO: mmmm as far as I'm aware there's barely anything here, apart from youknow. Daleks and Cybermen and a throwaway about TenToo being down to "vanity issues" which I can take, because the Doctor often trivialises things in order not to discuss them

I guess all the callbacks were for Day Of The Doctor, but still. kind of an oddly connectionless regeneration episode. it's your last Hurrah and it's tying up all of M*ffat's loose ends unsatisfactorily and in a rush before getting the heck outta dodge (because who cared about this town where the whole thing is set, really???)

oh and "reverse the polarity"

“SEXINESS”: OHHHHHHH WELL YOU SEE! YOU REMEMBER! that woman I mentioned who's the allegedly mysteeeerious powerful leader of the Religious Organisation?

well she just can't resist the sexy sexy Doctor. her introduction scene includes all of this within idk. ten seconds: Hey babes. New body, give us a twirl. Nice though. Tight.

it is important to note that although the audience can't see it, the Doctor is technically naked when she says these things, because there's a pointless plotline where they have to briefly beam onto the planet and can't bring anything with them, including clothes, so they... hologram them on???

the Doctor also does this in front of Clara's family who all see him naked and don't really interact with this beyond grandmother being visibly into it, and Clara pushing the Doctor into the kitchen and saying "he's Swedish"

also actually, in the beginning of the episode Clara calls asking the Doctor to "be her boyfriend" (omitting the word "pretend" by accident) and he responds by going "Ding Dong"

it's just... really M*ffat's Greatest Hits

I wrote the words WHY IS THIS BEING SEXY??? AGAIN???? several times in my notes, including one bit where he insults Religious Lady enough to make her angry enough to reverse her Dalek brainwashing/death... whatever just to slap him (I think this also doubles as a sexist moment, because the Doctor starts the insulting by pointing at Clara and going that is a Woman! meaning Clara is just representing People better by not being cowardly, but like... why frame it like that, when there's been all this badly-written non-tension between you two), at which point he grabs her and dip-kisses her without her consent

Religious Lady, winded: Kiss me when I ask The Doctor: Well you’d better ask nicely

she smiles, clearly kind of turned on by that bit of misogyny

oh so sexy

INTERNAL WORLD: Town called Christmas? Nonsense, no personality, nothing. Big Religious Organisation that engineered the whole set of events of this era? as bland and boring as when we met them back in s6 (seriously what do they stand for, I still don't know who they are in any meaningful way). Clara's family? yeah I'll give it that, she has a family, which is, again, more than can be said for Amy

POLITICS: I've already done my Christmas Spiel. the other thing is something I said in the review for the last episode, which is that "ordinary" people don't matter. the people of Christmas, Clara, her family, they're just set-dressing for the really Important people (Big Religious Organisation, Dalek Commanders, The Doctor) to do their Important People Things

how do they feel about it? what part of the story do they affect? why do we care about these people?

no, the important thing about this story is apparently the Gods, the Military, the Religious Institutions, who also aren't represented by ordinary people for that matter, but by their Structures and the Leaders Who Uphold them... as practically Inhuman

FULL RATING: 36/100 (if I can count….)

listen... Capaldi is here. and yes, he starts underground in terms of the bar and has to claw his way up, but I know he does it!

meanwhile what can I say about the end of an era?

there were some good'uns. we'll get to that on a bigger summing up, but I will not lie, they were there. not... when M*ffat was writing

it was around this time (actually earlier s7) that I stopped watching, and I'm glad I did, because I can watch it now and enjoy the good without taking the bad so much to my very emotional teenage heart

this episode shouldn't exist, if I'm being honest. they should have ended Eleven's run in the 50th Anniversary, which, while very very flawed, was at least suitably actually epic and is the episode that sets up a lot of the next arcs

the most I can say for this is that it leaves behind a lot of the baggage of s5-7 -- not tying it up suitably, but at least ending it. don't need to care about cracks in walls, the silence and their weird cult, Trenzalore, or The Question... at least I bloody hope not!

#im watching nu!who #im watching eleven who #the time of the doctor #the measurement

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