#the other half which is me did not lmao
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tfw when you write an entire novel with two protagonists that spent the entire plot getting closer to each other, becoming best friends and eventually both of them deciding they would rather die than allow the other to not live a long, fulfilling life, their friendship carrying most of the emotional weight of the entire plot and the emotional climax being one of them sacrificing his life so the other can live and then the other crossing literal universes to find him, a tearful smile in his face as he confesses how much he missed him. which is the scene you wanted to write and show the most because, again, this is the pay off to the slowburn you've been writing in the entire novel and what everything has been building up to since the very first chapter. and then you end the novel by having them share a smile, finally confident they'll be able to have a happy future.
but you also just gotta have one of them marry offscreen because everyone knows you can't be happy if you're not in a het marriage with kids lmao it's whatever it's okay i'm fiNE-
#i talk a lot <3#the greatest estate developer#lloyd frontera#this post was going to be so much more bitter this is me being nice akjshdkahdk#i just....... i'm sad alsjdsjkal#and i don't think i'm wrong to be. like i'm not disapointed bc i don't actually expected lloyd and javier to be together#i'm not that optimistic lmao#but i did have the hope tged would have no romance#because lloyd and javier were already doing so much in the emotional and relationship development front of the plot#that adding romance just feels. awkward. like an aside. an add-on that affects none of the plot and is just there to make sure#no one accidentally gets confused and think those two are in love#and guess what! most of the romance does happen in literal side stories! literally an add-on that does nothing for the plot! i hate it!#it's the heteronormativity and amatonormativity of it all :/#do i think it would've been cool for llojavi to be canon? absolutely! do i think it was necessary for the plot? nope!#they were already perfect the way they are! their friendship is the core of the entire plot and their relationship to each other#is what ultimately moves much of the plot in the latter half!#which is the way relationships should work in fiction! not just have them for the sake of having them!#lloyd didn't need a romantic subplot because the plot was already working perfectly without it!#also what's the point of having a character constantly think about what their idea of 'happy life' is if you're not going to challenge it#it's about the hero's journey of it all!!!#i have things to say dang it!#javier asrahan#tged
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I'm mid-James apology and holy shit this is actually a GOOD apology?? MUCH better than the first one if nothing else.
Will update if anything dramatic happens.
Edit: check the notes and the replies. I had just woken up, this was the first thing I did lol. Yeah it was bad.
#okay he DID just say he had permission to upload Evil Queens and didnt say if that was before or after the plgrsm#but other than THAT i dont see any major issues yet#dimond speaks#NEW TAGS: Yeah no this was shit. he purposefully misdirected the conversation away from some stuff while#overexplaining other things to try and make himself look better. classic james idk why i fell for it#i have since rewatched Todd in the Shadow's video and a vid on his first apology as a refresher#hes doing the same tricks again but far more organized this time around and with actual editing to 'acknowledge' he's listening#which he isnt because he didnt address half the allegations against him#i had just woken up and ive never been the best at spotting lies anyway so yeah. im gullible i know.#you dont have to tell me i already feel stupid lmao
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AJDJSOAJW I MADE MY SPAMTON PLUSH THE DEFRAG OUTFIT
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
I'm so normal. About. This comicc
Yes
Defragmentation by @zarla-s go read it if you haven't rjkwsjdkdhkash
#a#im gonna use the tags to just gush about defrag#like#you dont uunderstand#i dont even know hwy i like the comic so much im not like this about other deltarune fancomics n stuff#im just so rabid about it aa#i remember when i first found the dub i was just glad to find a comic dub that was longer than 5 mins#little did i know that this was the beginning of a defrag fixation which lasted for like a month and a half#i think defrag is like 70% of the reason why my spamton obsession has gone on for so long lmao#god i used to read it so much there was a time that i could quote it word for word up to the like 20th jesus#im not quite as insane now#also GOD I HATE SEWING#im so bad at it#i had to get my grandma to help me since she is good at sewing#she did most of it lmao i did some of the stitching tho#aa im so normal about him#oops nearly forgot to do fandom tags lmao#spamton#spamton deltarune#spamton g spamton#deltarune spamton#defragmentation#defragmentation au#spamton plush
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the b-side to the satoshi-kun compilation video...except, "gou-kun" didn't get a rise out of him, so to establish dominance gary just pretended to forget his name instead - until he couldn't seem to STOP saying his name, anyway
#pokemon#anipoke#pokeani#shigegou#splitdecisionshipping#sticking to my guns on that ship name since more than HALF of this video is from that episode#mine#*video#pokemon journeys#day 278345768493 still no jp raws but oh well the subs are fine. flavour text. i guess#btw gary TECHNICALLY has a +2 on the gou counter but i didn't count anything that wasn't or couldn't be translated as a direct address#there is one moment in jn113 where he says goh's name in relation to something when goh was the only other person in the room though#which is so funny because like. it was obvious what he meant. he did not need to say his name lmao#sorry for the repost i noticed a typo and it was driving me crazy and it was early enough to fix so i acted quickly#if u saw anything....no you didnt dkjfgjhfk
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#creator speaks#a funny i saw on my twitter thought i should insert my ship into it 👍👍👍#WHICH IS FUNNY BECAUSE THE ORIGINAL *IS* A TUMBLR POST but oh well#man the thoughts that simmered in my head in the past year and a half over them and how her inclusion kinda changes the story...#lol ik i always “speak” of it and discord besties would know a little more than those who aren't but i digress#i love it i love the thought of just...Madison putting so much of her faith and trust and love in them that she just becomes loyal to them#helping their cause and personal issues wanting to be a reliable friend and loved one to them#(probably the abandonment issues that's operating in that brain of hers lmao but) she just wants to stay by their side !!#and hope that they let her stay there in the years of them growing up together#somewhere in the messy notes in my brain and in my laptop's notepad did i think far in changing their overall fate to make the ending happy#but i just feel like that's just gonna stay there or be discussed in really tight circles IF i feel like sharing it hehu#i feel like madison and me inserting her into the jojo universe as a sort of “fix-it” tool is one that araki and many others wld surely hat#HAHAHAHAHA#when my notes and lore try to go against the biggest theme of fate in the series and how we're destined to go through it-#-that it can't be changed. how the joestars are cursed yadda yadda#i'm so normcore domestic life happy ending mary sue fix it canon divergence pilled okay !!!#i want both jotaro and kakyoin to be happy and alive !!! and making that possible by inserting my lame ass op oc 😎😎😎#HAHAHAH whatever i'll stop yapping <33
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made my first dnd character ever and she's a total cunt and i love her
#her name is kaia she's a half-elf bard btw. if u even care#the DM came up with a backstory with me bc i CANNOT invent shit on the spot so i basically let him take the wheel#which im not mad about bc it's my first campaign and i was nervous and im still Weird about anything writing-related in front of others#so i kind of accepted that me just being open about my own ideas wasn't gonna happen anytime soon and will take time#and he was really good about it like didn't give me shit for not contributing he just on the fly came up with a whole ass backstory#i love being around writers it was genuinely very beautiful to watch BUT it's also very funny the backstory he came up with#bc now kaia by chance has an absent father and an incredibly close but complex relationship with her mother#and she expresses all of her emotions and anger and hurt towards these things and other experiences through her art form (music)#like? lol. lmao even. like why did he come up with that backstory SPECIFICALLY im giggling#hella goes to uni#it's our first session tonight im very excited <3
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“Embalmed corpses are way weirder than natural ones” this is a Correct Take; I saw my grandfather’s corpse day-of and it just looked like he was sleeping vs my grandmother at her open casket viewing and funeral who looked Fake As Hell
god yeah my grandma's open casket was Peak uncanny valley for me. nothing about her looked right, like one of those celebrity wax figurs where something is clearly Wrong
#they buried her without her hearing aids which#i guess makes sense#but she'd worn them for half her adult life and it was so jarring to see her without#also no one warned me it was open casket#so i nearly had a panic attack lmao#cw: death#idk if that's a catholic thing but no other funeral i'd ever been to did that#i guess it was a visitation not a funeral#and visitation implies visiting the dead
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Oh my god
So 6 weeks or so ago BaldBastard tells us to get rid of the black supply tote, we're getting clear cube ones. Whatever.
The cubes are working surprisingly well, the sign holders fit perfectly in them, keeping it neat and tidy. Everyday supplies like tape, masks, and trash bags are in one, lesser used ones in another. Great.
Motherfucker shows up today and goes "you guys need a black tote. Like put the cubes in there. I don't know who told you to use those but you need the black tote."
BITCH IT WAS YOU!!! YOU FUCKING TOOK OUR TOTE AWAY! YOU FUCKING FORCED THE CUBES ON US!!! YOU!!
Then he was bitching ab how we need to liquidate more and it's like uh huh that's gonna work great until the liquidator tells us to stop sending him shit unless it specifically is in liquidation status bc they dont have the fucking money. You know, like what happened LAST YEAR.
AND he and FGM were like "you guys have a lot in the steel..." and RC and I went "no we dont! It's all basics! Trust me! Go look yourself!!!" And then they were like well pull from boxes then. Okay bitch so we're gonna have a full table of one item bc theres nothing fucking new.
I swear to god you could put an actual chicken in charge as our store manager and there would be no difference. No, it might actually IMPROVE.
#work talk#marquilla#and this was RIGHT as i was getting ready to leave my area for the day and i was like well that's tomorrows problem then bc im out ✌#most of what i have in boxes rn is shit i already have 3-4 facings of already like bitch....#and half the boxes under my table are empty anyway bc the baler is still broken and i dont want to make a shit bale pallet/ i need to use#the boxes as a placeholder so NewLady doesnt push the hanging rack shit under my table!#she has 4 table sections which is like idk 50-100ft? on one side. i have 1. and she gets sooo bitchy ab the childrens#hanging rack items being under mens like bitch thats how this WORKS that is how we did it before you came along! thats the agreement! gfy!#oh oh and BaldBastard asked who does what section and he goes i know Mar does childrens. that i have down [mentally]#and i was thinking and you better fucking never forget that you little bitch. im the only one who likes that section and is GOOD at it#RC (rightfully) threw the rest of the team under the bus though aggsgsgsgshs she was like well Mar and i are the only ones who do the#hanging rack most of the time. and no one bothers with basics but RC. we're all supposed to do the rack. im the only one who does the layout#last time our old teamlead did it she did it BACKWARDS drove me up the goddamn wall man#he was talking to rc and i separate from Newlady (the only other person he talked to) bc we were together at the time which is why she threw#them under the bus lmao
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2023 reads // twitter thread
Court of the Undying Seasons
NA high fantasy
demigirl volunteers to be taken by the vampires instead of her friend intending to kill them for revenge, but quickly learns that’ll be impossible unless she becomes one
she has to get through her training to become a vampire or live as a human thrall, and quickly gets swept up in their world - and discovers a string of murders that could have dire consequences for them all
#Court of the Undying Seasons#aroaessidhe 2023 reads#ok i was kinda hoping this would be more me than most things in its genre niche....but is just kinda is that#why is the main couple a thing? what is the attraction? i feel like I skipped half a book. you’re gonna kill him right#just really did not get that at all lmao. ur usual dark fantasy romance i gues#it’s kind of pitched as ‘she wants to kill vamps!!!’ but like. she immediately learns that’ll be too hard and basically forgets about it lo#i feel like the courts being named after colours reads. well you know it reads like the stereotype of YA with different factions to choose#but I guess I get that if they were called by their alt names it would have been a lot of confusing info to keep track of#the mc being a demigirl is pretty subtle#if you’re looking for it you can see the trans coding#but if you weren’t I feel like it might just read as girl who’s slightly uncomfortable with her appearance…#which is fine I guess. but just so you know if you're picking it up for that#also picked it up for ace side characters but like…. it’s not rly like the authors other books#there’s vague mentions but tbqh I’ve forgotten who is supposed to be ace#(probably because I read like 6 other books between starting and finishing this)#also genderfluid side character who is like. treated as two different people when they’re girl or boy version?#which is sort of treated as a vampire thing but i thought it felt odd#anyway all in all not entirely bad just not for me at all lol
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being trans with ocd is so fucking exhausting dude
#slash sexuality questioning i suppose#slash uestioning in general i suppose#i’ve been half in half out of every label i’ve used for like a year and a half which is very un slay#anyway i told you guys my middle name slaps did i not. and well my indecisive ass is considering making it my first name#one day i will look back on all the gender stuff i did and be glad i did it and/or ill be like this man needed to get rawed#i’m also in like closet purgatory where i’m out as QUEER to p much everyone but what type of queer varies#which may??? be fucking up my mindset in regards to all of this??? having like 3 different normals in kind of an accidental way#thinking and talking about it is exhausting but i probably should lol lmao#the name slaps though. unrelated but i am happy about that#im taking a very long time to decide on a name bc there are a bunch ive cycled through like a BUNCH and i do want to try them all#part of me is like ill only ever start to have more of a handle on this if either i start transitioning and/or live alone at some point#it will stay like this if i keep doing This#karinyo.txt#and it might not be the ocd it might be a bunch of other things (scary) but it certainly doesnt help
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welp
#lmaooo#jill is in aubree's campaign which justin DMs#but she also plays limerick! so we were like OH HEY okay we should talk more about what felix and limerick know about each other#n how long they've known each other and how they met and soforth#and anyway we ended up roleplaying out a couple scenes because of course we did#IT IS... ACTUALLY VERY WEIRD TO ROLEPLAY A GUY WHO DOESN'T WANNA TALK ABOUT HIMSELF LMAO#my own terror of one-on-one conversations heightened by a guy who is EVEN WORSE than I am at carrying his half lmao#but also where like limerick would say a thing and I jay would be like ☝️😃 relevant felix information!!#and felix is like hi hey I don't like talking about myself remember#oops. fuck. but *I* like talking about my blorbos :C#ANYWAY that was fun but I AM sad to have missed the traditional post campaign debrief with my boy :')#we always talk after playing dnd AND this session was REAL INTERESTING we'll have to debrief tomorrow 👀#about me#husband#irl frens#my ocs#felix
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what if capitalism is making the one job i thought was possible for me feel unattainable not because i haven’t literally been doing it since age 13 but because it’s not well paid enough so until you get into a higher position you have to work multiple jobs and i knew that i always knew that but. fuck. why is adulting going to be so exhausting. what if this really is the best time of my life? being a depressed college student? what if it’s downhill from here?
#I love my quiet getting high nights cause they let me unlock my thoughts#i HATE my quiet getting high nights cause they let me unlock my thoughts#like bestie I was just watching critical role why did I pause it to write this down#anyway in other news I have a ten hour tech day and I’m ✨scared✨#technically it’s nine and a half though because they moved the call by a whole half hour#and honestly I’m going to get breakfast for meal swipes so I might end up being late cause breakfast doesn’t open until 10#but like fuck if I’m gonna try to make food here#I want to pack my bag tonight but also I just laid down after doing dishes and I’m exhausted#I’ve had such a long day too I had two normal classes (one of which I basically led the class. I interviewed two professionals in front of#the whole class. FUCK I probably need to send them a thank you email. that’s gonna be a tmrw issue or I might draft hifh but like not sendin#but anyway after that I had one hour for lunch and then three hour lab which was fun!! because we went ride pooling but like we walked a#shit ton and in the sun#oh and my roommates must’ve forgotten I come with today cause they left me behind (which is totally fine cause I didn’t get up but it did#mean I had to catch the on campus transport and that takes forever and so I was late to meet my friend for breakfast and dining hall was#closed so I had to get food elsewhere which literally cost the same as the dining hall in the morning which is dumb but it took waaay longer#anyway hifh boom takes tumblr diary entries too seriously idk why I channeled my whole life into this post lmao#i think it’s cause I’m self-isolating HARD (despite being fairly social at the moment? it’s a surprisingly cool balancing act im pulling off#quite well as a busy bee) so I felt the need to pretend to have human connection without actually breaking my self-imposed isolation lmao#boom blogs high
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My brain and eyes sitting here having me brimming with tears like: yes, we want to cry, crying would be helpful! A release of endorphins!
Me: Cool, let's cry then. I'm trying to make the tears actually...go, but y'all aren't letting them fall???
Brain (eyes are hostages essentially at this point imo): oh. Shit. you actually wanted that, huh? how about a stomachache instead even though you just forced yourself to eat enough calories to call it 'dinner'
Me: Can I at least cry while my gut hurts?
Brain: Oh! No. No, you can't :)
#text post#like it's whatever I have these days Im just so fed up at my brain still being so deep in survival mode that I can barely cry#we'll feel better if we fucking cry!! even a little!! let's get it over with but nooooo what if something happens where we need to be ready#to help or be responsible for others even tho that's almost definitely Not Going To Happen rn#and even if it did it would be FINE we'd be FINE it would be easy to help out and then come back to my own shit#but no no crying just getting really close to it and then my brain refusing to let it happen.#i literally just finished eating too and immediate cramping like bro can we fucking not for once with this#I know things have been A Lot but we're somewhere safe w/ppl close and nearby that care abt us!#seemingly without me needing to earn or justify their caring even!! which is sort of rare for me which is probably half the issue tbh#but like. WE'RE SAFE CHILL THE FUCK OUT AND LET ME CRY GODDAMN IT#gonna have to ask a future therapist to stab me on the left side so i can cry bc idk wtf else will trigger it at this point#aside from me stumbling upon something I don't except to trigger an emotional response right away so maybe??? I should look for that tonigh#looking for movie playlist that's just titled Emotionally Devastating Movies For Broken Boys lmao
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Things that happened today:
I was working from home which actually means that I flexed my hours so I answered emails on my phone while I was out and am now actually doing work
I went to thrift stores trying to find cat stuff before the shelter opened
I went in with the intention of possibly adopting tadpole, the kitten I met yesterday, and they were like hey by the way she has a brother that’s still here do you want to meet him too and after spending two hours petting them while they laid in my lap I decided to adopt both of them because I love them so much even if it was a lot more money than I was planning to spend
I get twenty feet out of the spca parking lot and run over a nail which gives me an immediate flat tire, road side assistance that usually covers these things for free decided that I’m no longer covered by it so I had to pay 60 bucks for someone to come out and put the spare on
I have to drive for work so I was going to have to call in sick for work tomorrow to go get it fixed if I didn’t get it fixed right away so I go to Sam’s club and they initially say they can fix it and then say that it actually has a tire that needs to be special ordered and wouldn’t be there for five days and also that they don’t think anyone would have that size tire on hand because it’s small?
I decide to try the good year down the road in a last ditch effort and they said they don’t usually have that tire but they do today and 180 dollars later my car was fixed
Got home waaaay later than I meant to and am now working, the kitties got scared while the spare was being put on and had a major accident in the crate and they won’t let me clean them but otherwise they’re settling in well and I love them so much
#I spent so much money today I’m working hard on not losing my mind over it#the cats did keep me calm when all of this was going down though#it was so cold and the triple A person was like it’ll be about an hour and a half and I was like um I have kittens in the car I just adopted#and they were like okay it’ll be thirty minutes lol#their names at the spca were tadpole and froglet which are very cute but I was planning to rename tadpole hope and now I’m thinking I’ll#rename froglet luck it’s still up in the air though#in the third picture they’re laying one on top of the other in between my legs lmao
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i have such a reputation that four separate people incorporated pringles into my birthday gifts. be that girl
#to the point my one mate today (the one i almost ditched in that seminar LMAO) ((WAIT I NEED TO TELL YOUSE ABOUT HIM))#anyway! he was like 'oh i actually got you something!' which given our dynamic despite RECENT DEVELOPMENTS AHEM#is so unusual like he was NOT required to get me a gift. but then i immediately was like 'it's pringles isn't it'#and he was just like 'sigh. yeah' LMFAOOOOO#and you know what? chuffed to utter bits. ive already eaten half of them in 24 hours. scranning even more as i type this#anyway back to that guy. so you know i sometimes mention my flatmate from first year who also happens to be on my course#so off the bat we've got a weird friendship bc he's not just a coursemate bc i also lived with him#but also first year halls were assigned not chosen so it's not like we were actually FRIENDS#especially bc my flat did NOTTT get on lmfao so me and him were mainly just. acquaintances who lived and studied together?#very strange foundation to have with someone. but we went all of second year barely staying in contact#and then this year we live in the same area and for the LIFE of me i cant remember how we got back in contact#but all of a sudden we were messaging every day and meeting up before lectures and sitting together in them and stuyding together etc#and we get on REALLY well like he has my exact sense of humour i know ive posted about him several times#over the past three years being like 'me and this guy are the funniest people i know' 'he would do bits on tumblr' etc#AND THE OTHER WEEK HE ADMITTED THAT HE LIKES ME AND WE WENT ON A DATE#AND IT WENT REALLY WELL BUT I CANNOT FOR THE LIFE OF ME FIGURE OUT HOW I FEEL ABOUT HIM#SO IM TRYING NOT TO PUT PRESSURE ON ANYTHING and i was super clear w him also that im not actively searching for anything#so if smthn happens organically then it happens but if not it's my final year and that will always take priority and he was super chill#so i dont feel like i HAVE to make a decision just yet but we're going out again tomorrow#and it's like. even if it doesnt become smthn romantic i just really click with him?? like we get on so well??? IT'S SO FUN#AND THAT'S WHAT MATTERS! WOOHOO! pringles post derailed by a MAN. awful#hella goes to uni
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i have had the most beautiful day today 😌
#woke up at reasonable time day is bright sunnt beautiful and warm (rare) i wash my hair and blast music (immediate ego boost) i dress up#in fav fit do some makeup accesorise get my ass to campus bc whats the point of looking good if i don't see ppl ik AND WHO DO I SEE#but the girl i made out with at a party the other week and have been thinking about!! i was sadly sitting inside the hot stuffy full study#room bc all the outside tables wers taken & whaat did she do but appear after 5 minutes and invite me to sit at her table outside with her?#and whooo is now coming to my bday party in a couple weeks? and there was a puppy outside there the whole day i played with so much blessss#i miss having dogs. and i watched 3 and a half lectures which is the first time ive actually done schoolwork in ages lmao. & then i called#my long distance childhood bestie who's moving in w me in 3 weeks for then bumped into my other good friend at the supermarket#THEN my bestie whose also moving in next year told me her frjend would sell me some weed which is GREAT bc my plug fell of the face of the#earth 2 weeks ago :( so i got blazed w my OTHER bestie and played a literal perfect game of mario kart. win after win baby. bowser forever#jay rambles#drugs tw#i love using tumblr as a diary
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