Those couple of moments when Lucien and Molly talk about their feelings on gender just make me so happy. I just love that that’s one of the intrinsic traits they ended up sharing. Mollymauk explaining how much the peacock feather tattoos mean to him, trying to offer Lucien a way out when he realizes how similar they are, sees that glimpse of humanity the Somnovum couldn't take away--

Can't believe Bolo had a sister named Morbo

Molly and Lucien having their third mental bitch fight of the day:

Molly saying ‘Take us home, Jester’ as she hits them with her guiding bolt, killing them, SHUT UP. IM INCONSOLABLE. 

So this part of the new Lucien novel excerpt

"And finally, a sturdy, silent, beguiling woman called Yasha traveled with them. Something about her, either her eyes or her silhouette, made his brain burn with confusion."

Didn't need to rip out my heart and shred it to bits in front of me but okay.

I just. Can’t stop thinking about the fact that Molly loathed the impressions he had of Lucien in his two years, wanted absolutely nothing to do with him, fought tooth and nail against him while trapped in Lucien’s mind in order to help the Mighty Nein... and yet, and yet, he still extended his hand in kindness to Lucien in the final moment of that battle.

Me: *Reading chapter four of The Nine Eyes of Lucien*

Wait a minute. So you mean to tell me, bestie, after going through a truly Magnus Archives level horrific event™️ in your childhood, that you decided to run full tilt into that same stuff by taking up blood hunting?

At some point the horrors™️ end up becoming your fault

thoughts on the nine eyes of lucien so far at chapter 24 bc ohhh my god. oh my god. ok

seeing what lucien was like before becoming the nonagon ltr makes my heart hurt 😭 he was a normal guy (as normal as u can be as a run orphan) who joked with his friends and cared for them and loved them. like he rlly did love his friends u can see it in the way they interact. and the dynamic and banter between them was soo.....AUGH. it wasnt like lucien was the leader and they all followed him with distant respect, they all Cared for each other, and the tombtakers expressing worry when lucien started getting entranced by the journal....good lord. theyre like the m9 but things just. didn't work out for them and it feels so tragic.

confirmed last name for lucien! lucien tavelle....still got a surname starting with t lol

ALSO U KNOW WHAT ELSE IS CONFIRMED? GENDERFLUID LUCIEN LETS FUCKING GO!!!

ok so lucien's past with his family. it's just. Wow. right off the bat we learn he's got a background with performance tying into molly being in a circus, and lucien's tendency to perform constantly and put up a mask. we also find out he's a middle child! he's got a younger sister and an older brother who got Turned Into A Fucking Skin Puppet ???? and lucien's parents forced him to be a lure for the same witch that turned his brother into a skin puppet by getting her more people to turn into skin puppets?? SO much to unpack, we just know lucien has preexisting trauma surrounding soulless and empty husks.

and speaking of lucien's family--aldreda. oh my god aldreda. their reunion hit me like a sack of bricks. it felt like the start of ppl lucien cared abt distancing themselves from him bc of his own choices. it was like he was so caught up in meeting the expectations he set for himself, to protect and provide for aldreda (the performance theme!!), tht he became someone his own sister couldn't recognize. his inability to be honest abt himself and the things he's done only driving a wedge between them further. and it is actually kind of heartbreaking to see how excited lucien is to see aldreda again only to be met without the same enthusiasm and tht she doesn't want him in her life anymore.

brevyn/lucien killed me so fucking bad. the casual intimacy, the silent communication, the way they clicked, the muddled gray area of friendship and smth more, the obvious adoration lucien had for her. ltr every scene brev showed up in, lucien can NOT stop thinking abt how shes so strong/beautiful/charming etc. like can you STOPPP 😭😭 and their final scene is so painful.......when the book is starting to sink its claws into lucien and brev sacrifices herself to get it for him, smth tht will ultimately be his downfall...SCREAM.

the way the book and the effects it has on lucien is described is genuinely kind of disturbing. the more u read, u can practically See the start of luciens spiral and the way his mind starts to splinter. the little details of him not realizing the passage of time, not eating or sleeping because he's so absorbed in it....Wow. and the change in his personality is subtle but still noticeable which i think rlly adds to how unsettling it feels. he's still mischievous and cocky but theres smth Off abt him with his obsession over cognouza and the somnovem.

EDIT: ALSO. I LIKED THE SMALL DETAILS OF HIM BEING A LIL SILLY :) the scene where hes like "hey cree look at this funny hat i found!" and when vess derogna yells at him he's just like >:( and puts the hat on and sits down by the wall LMAO

This is the Lucien and Molly argument from the end of Chapter 37 if anyone wants to hear Matt and Tal going at it. The audio quality is negligible because of phone recording but helpful for anyone who doesn’t have the audiobook.

Lucien: she stole my dream journal!

Vess Derogna: I Did Not! Somnovum, make me the Nonagon and have him Expelled!

Mollymauk having such fond memories of the forehead kiss--of Caleb--and clinging to those moments for comfort while his soul is drowning in a sea of restless screams and despair and the blood of his loved ones staining Lucien's hands. It becomes a source of strength, an anchor. "Kindness is never lost or forgotten."

That touch of tenderness Molly gave to Caleb mattered. Caleb's "softness and light" mattered. Lucien constantly dismissed Molly's feelings, vehemently insisting he's nothing more than a shattered fragment without a heart or soul--but he is still real, and whole, and what he felt for his Magician mattered.

And he might not even know how much he meant to Caleb in turn. That Caleb wouldn't let him go without reciprocating that forehead kiss from so long ago.

Crumbs of Essek

Representation win! The morally flexible purple tiefling, who got fucked in the head by an evil diary until he decided to take over the world, is confirmed genderfluid.

Quote (p. 158):

“Well, boy?” The dwarf strode up to him, bumping his chest against Lucien’s belt buckle.

“Not exactly a boy,” said Lucien, almost breezy. “Rather, I feel boy and girl come and go, they change, you see, like the refrains of a song you learn again each day.” 

🦋🤍 𝔟𝔯𝔢𝔳𝔶𝔫 🤍🦋

“Aren’t you tired, Lucien? You look tired”

“Shut up, THIS IS ALL I HAVE”

 “Take us home, Jester”

“kindness is never lost or forgotten”

“You’ll be gone” “And every good part of you with me”

“I can’t let you unmake and destroy this world Yasha walks through”

“Wash the blood of my friends off your hands you degenerate freak” 

Brevyn and Lucien tho… 🥺 The ease between them. Teasing each other, loving each other. Sharing their bed with others, together. She convinced him he was too pretty to fail. The softness and the sadness. It shouldn’t be you. The forehead kiss. The Yasha and Brevyn parallels. All of it.