Found this cryptic message on my bathroom mirror, beside this cryptic instrument. Is it a riddle? A threat? A warning left tor the next person to use the toilet? #toottoot #nowplaying #murderhorn #youtube #randomencounters https://www.instagram.com/p/Cn8QWNgJNRr/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=

D&D Quotes Without Context

Ravenloft edition, Fundertainment Land arc part 1

GM: Alright, last time on the Yawning portal runners. OOC: Wrong channel. OOC2: Wrong thread. OOC: Wrong channel thread. And our heroes took a well earned vacation to the most luxurious vacation spot in all of Ravenloft: The beautiful Sapphire Islands. Where there was sun, surf, a wedding, fabulous door prizes, and surfing against werewolves. Jonni: “I got this book of tips on being hotter.” Gorbash: “In a physical attraction sort of way or a things in my proximity burst into flame kind of way?” Jonni: “Yes!” “Okay, so, Marsh, I’d ask what I can set on fire, but I’m guessing everything. So we need a safe word for when you want me to light everything up. Normally, I’d suggest ‘funderful’, but given the locale, I’m guessing that would be triggering. So…’Bigbooty’ when you want me to go nuts.” “I find the best defense is a good fireball.” "Welcome to Gunder and Danzi's Fundertainment Land,” the woman says in a chipper tone. "We welcome you to our funtastic home, and we kindly ask you to acknowledge and abide by all the rules here. So that we can maximize our fundertastical experience. “ "No running, no outside food or drinks, no loitering, no littering, no intimate moments, no questioning the rampant consumerism no escape. No escape. No escape. No hope. No escape. No escape NO ESCAPE.” Gorbash: “This is why I picked mercenary work instead of retail.” Jonni: “Wait, BACK THE FUCK UP. What was that about no intimate moments? I demand to speak with and murder your manager!” "Sorry, just on hour 42 of a 72 hour shift. You get used to it.... Or you get a knife and start stabbing people.” "As said, we're the Union. I am here to ascend the Murderhorn, awake the Yettirrasque, and lead us all to freedom from the burning ruin I will leave.” “I get to make the ruin!” Yog-sothoth: "So Poom's character sheet now says 'Wizard' on it, and—" Azathoth: "I think we missed something.” Nyarlathotep: "Awww. But I liked breaking the game with.....uh, ahem, paying attention now….." Nyx: "Bad, Nyar, bad. No breaking the fourth wall: it was just fixed after the last time." Edmund: ”OH COME ON!” Vesh: ”You know, as a cleric of Ioun, you probably should have seen this coming." Jonni: “I suggest violence.” Poom: "I think I'm on Jooni with this one: light everything on fire, and light the stuff that doesn't burn on harder fire.” Jonni: “So, we’re 3 for on that. One more and I can start burning.” “Okay, honey, you relax. We’ll meet back up after I help Marsh topple the banality of evil and smite its ruin upon the mountain.” Gorbash: “Ah, yes. Money talks around here. If only until they part you from it.” Jonni: “Jokes on them: Vesh makes her own. Sometimes they’re baby mimics.” “If they try, give them this.” Jonni hands her a card. It reads “You put my wife in a flask, you’re next. Jonni.” "Let's get to the action of taking this place down already. The longer I have to smell all this over-sugared food the sooner I'm going to snap.” “Am I becoming a responsible adult?” “Maybe, but I doubt it.” "Until closing time, topside cast members try not to get caught.” OOC: Kruez, save some 20s for the rest of us. “I think he’s sweet on you, Eddie.” You suddenly see a stream of black blood start coming out of his mouth. “That doesn’t disprove my theory.” Jonni: “Man, why is it always ‘nightmare circus’. When do we get to go to the magic porno circus?” Azathoth: "Insert 'big top' joke here.” OOC: Gets you right in the nostalgias. “Bigbooty?” Edmund takes up a defensive posture. "I have... Funderful Dollars.” "Come with me I have something to show you.” “Is it a world of pure imagination?” "Only 20% imagination, We have to conserve.” "You want access to the Murderhorn, I will grant it, if you can fight six golden tickets hidden throughout the park.” Gorbash: “Sorry was that ‘fight’; not ‘find’?" “Please. We’ll obviously succeed because we are pure of heart. Mine’s full of lust. You all get your own vices.” “They got an adults only zone?” “I doubt it. Even if they did, the best you'd get is overpriced booze in novelty glasses.” "All kid friendly and no porn, Jonni.” “This is the worst place we’ve been.” "Flaws not withstanding, everyone here has pure and noble hearts that would face down the world if their friends needed them. I'll wager on our side anyway.” “What have we told you about gambling?” "The lab we go to last, please leave the lab for last, I just know we have a big fight waiting there.” “So we go there first while we’re fresh.” "Rats, I knew my logic would ruin it for me.” "Gorbash, don't do that. You are creepy when making those kawai eyes.” “Sure. Let do this and get out of this hellhole.” "That may be an insult to hellholes.” GM: Anyone who gets over a 15 notice something odd about the food vendors. OOC: Odder than being carny food vendors? "None of this will do your cholesterol any good... Not to mention I think its nutritional quality is equivalent of a piece of cardboard.” "Bet you cardboard is healthier.” "That's a big Big Burger.” "Oh god, it is the size of a cart wheel.” "The Double Triple Bossy Deluxe on a raft, 4x4 animal style, extra shingles with a shimmy and a squeeze, light axle grease; make it cry, burn it, and let it swim. Doesn't quite roll off the tongue.” ”MARSHAL, AS I LIVE AND BREATH.” Jonni: “I sincerely doubt you do either.” "I'm with the union. Together we can shut this park down and you return to the Indigo Moon of Yarrl.” "This guy here was my top student, the one I entrusted all my recipes too.” “He killed a man with one of those. Or at least put him in a diabetic coma.” Gorbash: “What's the game, Big Steve?” Big Steve: "Eating contest. One of you against me.” Gorbash grins. "Don't threaten me with a good time.” "Hey we got vegan dishes. Try our new cheese injected fried pickle. Or our goat liver filled with okra. Which is also fried.” "Neither of those are remotely vegan!” "Sure they are. Cheese is a vegetable right?" Marshal: ”Remember to eat the trough, too.” Gorbash: “Is it deep fried?” Big Steve: "And slathered with Hollandaise.” Jonni polymorphs Gorbash into a whale. “Marsh. Get a shovel.” Gorbash: “I feel like this was unnecessary.” Yog-sothoth: "As opposed to what else we've done?” "Ioun... Give pity to this good soul. Protect him from gastritis and heartburn…" Gorbash: “This is delicious Steve.” Big Steve: ”The secret ingredient is lard.” Nyarlathotep: "Not sure how secret that is.” GM: Next up: Baked Bean pizza. “The devil’s pizza!” "Told ya we had vegan stuff here. I mean if you eat around the pork.” "I traveled all across Yaarl, learning from the finest chefs I could find. Then I burned all my notes and made this in stead.” GM: Next up is... Meat Gelatin. “That was quite the quick escalation from unhealthy to war crimes.” "I think at least 3/4th of this park can be called war crimes, Jonni.” GML Next up is... LUTEFISK. Nyx: "No, not that abomination! I can't believe humans came up with that dish and demons didn't inspire them.” Yog-sothoth: "It was Deep Ones.” "No, how could you? That dish is banned on so many planes of existence.” "You think that’d stop me? I ate the last health inspector came round here.” "... I think i'm going to have to stick to salads for the next week…” "I used to eat people, and I agree." "Try our new Lasanga salad, with eight types of meat.” Gorbash: “Nothing teaches you to appreciate food quite like starvation.” "Await the sign, then all employees shall be released.” Inside is utter bedlam, you see dozens of screaming kids running around, jumping all over. OOC: player is getting Chuck-E-Cheese flashbacks…. You're pretty sure you see the kids pull down a waiter and skeletonize them. "Oh no...my irony sense is going off. It’s in the ball pit, always the ball pit.” "I hope not. I really hope not. do you know how unsanitary those are in NORMAL places?” “Those things are 60% urine by volume.” "As the one of us actually immune to disease, I volunteer as tribute.” “You'll rust from the ammonia.” Poom: "Wish whatever's in there'd eat a few of the kids. Turn the volume down.” "My guess, the balls are acid proof and that pit has acid underneath it hiding an acid swimming shark in it. Nasty things.” "Or it's a plastic-ball-ooze.” "No, no, no, no. Not again, not again. That happened at my 12th birthday party.” "I was distracted by the tiny slime.” “Why am I covered in goos!?!” "Sounds like a fowl condition.” “I say we cure the badger of his rabies and make him our standard adoptee for the domain.” “I mean wouldn't be the strangest thing we picked up. Also he should be a union rep.” Jonni makes a badger papoose and straps him in. “You shall be Vesh and I’s only son. You shall see the world through my eyes as I see the world through yours.” Gorbash: “Starting a family right after the honeymoon eh?” “Bitey. Avert your eyes. Mommy has to light some assholes on fire.”

Iron Horses: E350 Plays Transport Fever

Episode IV: Wrong Way, Go Back

The year is 1855, and I can only assume Scrooge McDuck is off adventuring in the Crimea or something. The network is running well for the time being, with my Cramptons, Crewe-types and various GWR guff running a fairly effective service on the iron rails. We’ll be expanding those, but first, I’m considering a considerably wetter addition to our network.

But first, since nobody stopped me...

...the Duckburg-Mobius express train is now called the Flying Duck.

You may be wondering why I’m starting this update looking at a lake.

The answer is quite simple - the first thing on the agenda today shall be to muck about with boats. We’re going to connect Springfield in the west with Bikini Bottom in the east, and hopefully we can use that to kickstart a riverboat empire.

Hopefully.

Now, while I can lay track to the centre of a town, I can’t lay water in the same way. The harbour is going to have to be outside of Springfield. This means we’re going to set up a bus from the centre of Springfield out to the lake on one end, and another from the Docks to the centre of Bikini Bottom on the other.

It’s not long before we have our first riverboat. I think we ought to celebrate with some appropriate music.

Now, it’s going to be some time before she actually starts carrying passengers, so let’s get back to the railway for a bit.

So far we’ve done well hauling anachronistic petrol to Mobius, but I think we can connect this money well (eh he he) to Jump City and Metropolis. That’s going to be our next task.

Connecting the branch to the main line towards Metropolis isn’t too hard...

...although a bridge is needed to get from there to the Jump City line.

Ultimately, it’s not too hard at all, and I’m soon running fuel to the two cities. This should help them expand quite well!

A whole two people ride my riverboat!

But the main line calls again, and it’s time to connect Mobius and Gotham. This shouldn’t be too hard - there’s a small hill in the way, but nothing too problematic.

The station goes in pretty easily. That’s a big hill they’ve got there - you could hide a cave in there. Perhaps some kind of... bat-related cave.

My god. I’ve found it.

Spider-Man’s lair.

The points go in easily, and I build a bridge to carry the road over the railway line.

The line goes in quite easily...

...and soon a nonstop Metropolis-Gotham express is running! Everything is successful and running like clockwork!

Wait, what’s that warning up there trying to tell me?

How in the devil has that happened?!

Yep, my commuter service from Mobius through Metropolis to Duckburg is deadlocked, and I can’t for the life of me understand it. Where did I go wrong?

Now, on paper, this looks normal, right? (I don’t know if you can see the arrows on Tumblr.) Train on left goes up, train on right goes down? I spent ages trying to work out what had happened, thinking the game had glitched or something.

And then it hit me - train on left goes up in Britain. But this isn’t Britain, or Australia for that matter. And when you’re not there (or India or Hong Kong), train on left goes down.

So basically, I caused the blockage through my own incompetence.

Oops.

Naturally there’s some delays while I rectify the matter, but ultimately the trains return to normal.

The delivery of construction material and fuel to Jump City had helped it expand quite well!

Our final task for today will be to extend the cross-country branch to Elmore. Again, this won’t be especially complicated.

The line goes in well. I could have sworn I made a screenshot of Elmore Station, but it didn’t seem to have happened. Oh well. I set up a depot at Elmore to build more trains, and make sure to signal it...

...signals...

...hang on, let me check Gotham for a second.

“Drake... where’s the signals?”

After fixing that oversight, we get a commuter train heading out on an Elmore - Metropolis run. This is a D 1/3 4-2-0 from Switzerland, and that’s about everything I know about it to be honest.

So now we have choices. We can extend the branch north to Springfield or south to Shelbyville, but the presence of the mountain between, which I shall call the Murderhorn, makes both routes difficult.

The main line is less complicated. We can follow the main road through Ooo to Shelbyville, cross the river at Danville and terminate at Echo Creek. This bypasses Middleton but a branch could easily be constructed. Once there, a potential ‘eastern’ main line could be built from Echo Creek via Danville to Bikini Bottom.

In a somewhat less ambitious design, we could connect the two lumber camps near Elmore to the sawmill.

In any case, that will do us for now. Join us next time, where we build more track, start thinking a lot about a lighter form of rail, and remind ourselves to keep right, lest disaster strike again.

Ola und noch ein paar News zum heutigen Tag. Die Jungs von Constrained-Official sind jetzt neu bei uns in der Radio familie. Saustark das Wir die Jungs aus Belgien verpflichten konnten. Was Erwartet euch? Geiler Skinheadrock! Sie selber sagen finest Streetpunk 🙌. Nach einer kurzen Pause, die fast 20 Jahre gedauert hat, sind Sie zurück! Aus der Asche berüchtigter Bands wie Weak Peaks, Convicted und Murderhorn machen sie sich unter dem Banner von CONSTRAINED auf den Weg. Wie die meisten von euch wissen, hat Olivier diese Welt vor mehr als 15 Jahren verlassen. Sie vermissen ihn immer noch, als Freund und als Musiker, aber er wird respektvoll durch Kenny am Bass ersetzt, der die alten Songs in seinem eigenen Stil spielen wird. Durch die Rückkehr von Gründungsmitglied Hans haben Sie, das erste mal 2 Gitarristen in der Band. Nächstes Jahr wollen sie auch wieder Konzerte spielen. Also heisst sie willkommen. Oi! Nach Belgien. Ola and some more news for today. The guys from Constrained-Official are now new in our radio family. It's great that we were able to sign the guys from Belgium. What can you expect? Hot skinhead rock! They say finest streetpunk themselves 🙌. After a short break that lasted almost 20 years, they are back! From the ashes of infamous bands like Weak Peaks, Convicted and Murderhorn they set out under the banner of CONSTRAINED. As most of you know, Olivier left this world more than 15 years ago. You still miss him, as a friend and as a musician, but he is respectfully replaced by Kenny on bass, who will play the old songs in his own style. With the return of founding member Hans, they have, for the first time, 2 guitarists in the band. Next year they also want to play concerts again. So welcome them. Oi! to Belgium. https://www.instagram.com/p/CThefMDo1PT/?utm_medium=tumblr

The Murderhorn ;-)