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matshoemels · 6 years

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14. things you said after you kissed me for steno

Rating: Teen and Up.

Steno + 14. things you said after you kissed me.

Sets right after the previous Steno prompt.

Also, #sorrykevin.

Before he got on a plane in a hasty decision, the only aim Marc had in his mind about his trip was to see his boyfriend. He just wanted to spend some quality time with him, and hopefully, get rid of the anger he inwardly carried with him since the game in a rather too pleasant way. You know, the usual stuff they busy themselves during a mid-week escapade like that. Considering they have only 36 hours, Marc didn’t have anything else in his mind.

He should admit though, the unusually warm weather in Cologne is a great bonus for him. Barcelona has been oddly cold during the whole spring, so the extra sunshine he’s benefiting in the backyard of Bernd’s house is more than a satisfactory addition to his trip. Of course, his boyfriend’s sole presence on his chest is doing the whole trick for him. Bernd in his arms, their limbs are tangled, heartbeats are synchronized, and his lover’s entire body is collapsed on top of him. Marc wouldn’t care about the sun this much if he were in Barcelona all alone, but with Bernd, it’s simply a blessing.

Marc hugs Bernd tighter instinctively, trying to make the most of the minutes he gets to spend side by side with him. He lifts his head a little up from the makeshift bed they did under the shadow of the oak tree Bernd has in his garden, and plants the most innocent kiss on his head.

(Considering what they were doing just fifteen minutes ago and how they’re still fully naked outside in broad daylight, it may have not be the most innocent kiss ¸ but still.)

Bernd stirs a little after that, as if he’s trying to make sure that all of his body is in direct contact with Marc’s. Marc can feel his boyfriend’s fingertips running up and down on his arms, legs, ribs, spine, or to be fair, on any part of his body where he can reach.

Marc wants to open his mouth and tell Bernd that if he continues to do things like that, there’s no way on earth that he can leave him and go back to Barcelona to play some more lousy, meaningless games. But everything around them feels so serene and comfortable that he doesn’t have the heart to ruin their moment.

“Shit. Shit shit shit shiiiit… SHIIIIIT!” Bernd exclaims in that very moment, and stands up as if he’s been electrocuted.

“What’s going on?” Marc asks with a puzzled expression on his face. He straightens himself up to find the t-shirt he had discarded thirty seconds after they reached to Bernd’s house.

“Today is the announcement day, how did we forget?”

It takes fifteen seconds for Marc to understand what his boyfriend meant by “announcement day”, and once he fully grasps the urgency of the matter, and panics way more than Bernd did minutes ago.

“Shit, did you get a call? Did I get a call?” he jumps from his seat to search for their phones. “What if they did and we didn’t hear our phones?”

Bernd joins him to look for their phones, and after five minutes of searching and swearing and yelling at nothing in particular, they find what they’ve been looking dumped somewhere in the living room.

“No calls,” Marc states with a clear disappointment. “You?”

His counterpart sighs in return, shakes his head to indicate that he definitely shares Marc’s disappointment. “No calls. And apparently all the others got their calls. See,” he lifts his phone up to show their WhatsApp group chat to Marc.

Marc sinks into the sofa, and just wishes to turn into ashes like half of the universe’s population did in that movie him and Bernd watched a few weeks ago.

“Maybe they wanted us to find out on TV this time,” Bernd says while sitting next to him on the sofa, he definitely doesn’t believe what he just said, but anyway.

“Everyone got calls. Why would they do that now?”

Bernd pulls Marc in close and holds him tight on his chest, and this time, it’s him who gives the other a head kiss. “Because they’re assholes?”

Marc doesn’t respond to that, instead he just focuses on Bernd’s hand in between his.

“I wonder who got selected instead of us, and like, I’m trying to come up with three goalkeepers from Germany who is better than you and me,” Marc finally says. “and… I know it’s arrogant of me to say that but, like right now, there’s no one else?”

“Well, maybe Manu is magically healed by a fairy who grants Löw’s wishes?”

“Okay but how about the remaining two?” Marc asks. “I was so sure that we’d definitely get selected.”

“Loris and Kevin? Or maybe Kevin and Ulreich? Maybe Loris and Ulreich? I don’t know.”

Marc snorts at all three possible scenarios and gets up to turn the TV on.

“What are you doing, babe?” Bernd asks.

“Well I wanna see who got our spots.”

Andi’s giving an interview about how hard it was to decide on a squad of 27 and how they were up all night having arguments. “Traitor,” Marc mumbles to the TV and then looks up to poke Bernd’s dimples.

“Wanna bet on who’ll be selected?”

“Hmm,” Bernd says while using the opportunity to sneak a kiss from him. “Winner gets to top during our obligatory grief-sex?”

“I like how that kinky mind of yours is working, Leno.” He grins at his boyfriend, though his mood is still visibly down.

“Okay. My bet is that it’s Manu, Ulreich, and Kevin.”

“Mine is Manu, Ulreich, and Loris,” says Marc.

Bernd rolls his eyes at Marc’s bet, because his boyfriend is a huge goofball who definitely doesn’t understand the shenanigans inside their national team.

“Loris will never make it, Marc, because of… you know, his thing. There’s no way they’ll select him no matter what he does.”

Marc’s about to open his mouth to lecture Bernd about not being this pessimist all the damn time and believing that some people might change their opinions, but his intentions are abandoned when he hears the intro music indicating that the announcement is about to begin.

“Well, guess we’ll just wait and see. As if we’re still in the U21s,” Bernd says with a grim voice. “Man, this is humiliating.”

The announcement video is started with the title, and the first person on the screen is Loris Karius, who is literally a baby compared to them. “Guess it’s you who gets to top tonight, babe,” Bernd says while he’s turning to his left to look at Marc. “It’s good that I already got eno-”

“Shh, Bernd, look, look at this,” Marc interrupts him. He’s pointing to the screen frantically at the same time and hitting Bernd on his arm at the same time.

“Are you out of your mind? What’s wron…. Oh shit.”

It’s Bernd himself on the screen, making some pretentious tricks with a football like how they wanted him to do when they were shooting those incredibly stupid publicity stuff.

For a while he’s unable to react about this, unable to say anything. If you ask him later about how he felt when he first found out that he is nominated, he definitely won’t be able to give a proper answer.

The slideshow is continuing while he’s completely frozen, and he barely realises that Neuer is also nominated. And after Neuer, it’s the man sitting next to him is on the screen, effortlessly being cute while kicking the ball around.

“Oh thank god,” Marc lets out the breath he’s been holding since they saw Bernd is been nominated. He closes his eyes for a moment to calm his nerves, and when he opens them, Bernd is sitting on his lap with the biggest grin on his face. “We’re going to Russia,” he whispers.

He leans in for a kiss, and Marc gladly accepts and meets Bernd in halfway. It doesn’t take long for what started as a calm and innocent kiss to become a heated make-out session, open mouthed and with teeth and tongues everywhere, making them both breathless and gasping for air.

Even when they finally draw apart to get the air they both annoyingly need, Bernd continues to pepper tiny little kisses on every inch of Marc’s face. Then, he stops altogether and cups Marc’s face with his adorably tiny hands as if he’s going to kiss him once more. Instead, Bernd just leans so close to his ear that he can feel his breath in his ear canal.

“Мы е��ем в Россию, любим,” he whispers.

Marc startles after that, looking at Bernd with wide eyes as if he just told him the secrets of the universe or something equally important like that. Of course he knows that Bernd speaks Russian to an extent, but that bastard never used the language in his vicinity before. He caught him completely off-guard like that, and wow, Marc would’ve never guessed he’d feel this hot-and-bothered by a single sentence in a language he definitely doesn’t know.

“You’re so hot when you’re speaking Russian, Leno,” he says in between kisses. “Don’t ever speak in German ever again, it’s so hot.”

Bernd giggles at his desperation as if it’s the funniest thing ever, and Marc’s so damn sure that there’s nothing more beautiful in the whole universe than the sound of Bernd’s happiness.

He’s about to suggest that they should continue their celebration in the bedroom, but they both received a message at the same time.

Group Chat created by Andi Köpke

Andi Köpke added Manu Neuer, Marc-Andre ter Stegen, Bernd Leno, and Loris Karius

Andi Köpke: u guys liked my surprise??? Hahahaha

I bet you all thought “ahhh man I didn’t get selected life is terrible”

Guess what boys waking up with blue hair was also terrible.

….

Btw sorry Karius you’re just a collateral damage in this.

“I hate him,” Marc only says. “I mean we’d be long dead without him and I actually do love him, but also I hate him.”

End notes:

- Apparently Bernd Leno knows Russian, it’s something I recently found out so I wanted to include this in a fic as well.

- “Мы едем в Россию, любим” (My yedem v Rossiyu, lyubim) means “We’re going to Russia, love”.

- Sorry Kevin, but I bend the truth a little to fit my babiest blond goalie into the squad. #sorrykevin, but also #sorrynotthatsorrykevin.

#steno #marc andré ter stegen #bernd leno #side reference to QQ #sorry anon I know it took me like a month to write this #hope you're still out there #lemme know what you think if you read this

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theathenszinebibliotheque · 3 years

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AZB @ SIKINOS VOL.3 — Join us this year as we return to Sikinos island for the third time (check 2018 & 2019 past events). During the weekend of the 17th and the 18th of July 2021 (from 19:00 to 22:00), AZB will present at the yard of the old school of Kastro village all the zines that were added to the library since summer of 2019. Also, on Saturday the 17th of July we will hold an open zine workshop (at 19:00) on how to make an one-page zine.

Free entrance. — The event is sponsored by the Municipality of Sikinos and is supported by the SNFPHI (The Stavros Niarchos Foundation Public Humanities Initiative at Columbia University). — List of zines (in alphabetical order) participating at the exhibition "AZB @ Sikinos VOL.3":

• _Brut — Álvaro Fernández • 15. August 2020. A day in the life — Various • 1998-2018: 20 years making zines!/20 anos zinando! — Julie Albuquerque • Abnormal — George Tourlas • Abrasion — Kati Akraio • Airlines on paper — Tefra90 • An illustrated guide to insta-emotions — Kati Akraio • Anartchy — Jens Besser & Shlomo Faber • Another day in the office — Sophia Tolika • Armarolla, issues #1-4 — Stelios Hadjithomas • Around Labor, Art, and the Auratic Condition (This is Not a Love Song) — Various • ArtSexDrugsRevolution.gr — Θείο Τραγί • Atomphysik — Philip Joa • Autobioskat — Georgios Plastok • Berliner Mortis Zine — Livor Mortis Zine & Berliner Mauern • Bernd — Daria Rubisch • Blurry territory, notes for a topography of curiosity — Georgios Plastok & Alfred Fabricius • body / struck, issue 1 — Ifigeneia Ilia-Georgiadou & Angelos Kalogerias • Boys! Männer! — Michalis Pichler • Camila — Julie Albuquerque • Carousel #4 — Various • CcBnC issue[1]: prall — Prall • Cheesyphus — Dennis Muñoz Espadiña • Choose your fighter — Jovana Ćubović & Nataša Mihailović • Claustrophobic Tendencies — Never Brush My Teeth • Cockroach Milk — Never Brush My Teeth • Confused Jack — Inés Ballesteros • Crucial Zine, 2019/20 Winter Holiday Special — Various • Crucial Zine, issues #8-11 — Various • Crucial Zine,The CB1 years/MMVIII-MMXI — Various • Dadatek: a manifesto against techno — filtig • DCIM — Κυκλοθυμία & το σφάλμα • Deadiario — Julie Albuquerque • Desired landscapes, issue #3 — Various • Divine Furies Trilogy: The Oracle, The Rescue & The Wedding Night — Nikos Kachrimanis • Do polaroids dream of instant cameras? — Nikos K. Kantarakias • Doors of Athens — Death Vallée & Tarta Ross • Doors of Kypseli — Eleanor Lines • Dotter — Aimilia Balaska • Enterprise Projects Journal, issues #1-4 — Kostas Stasinopoulos, Evita Tsokanta, Myrto Katsimicha, Panos Giannikopoulos • Faces n' Chases, vol.01 — RTMONE & Nadia Stasinou • Finding New Problems — Andromache Kokkinou • Footnotes, issue C — Various • For the love of God — Sinde Butler • Garm zine — Ιωάννης Καρμανιώλος • Giant-size Holy Shit Comix! — Tasmar • Goodbye Horses — Mass Control Superviolence • Graffiti from an American Refugee — Pockets • Greatest hits — Michalis Pichler • GRIP — Aidan Frere-Smith • Gutzine — Various • Hallow Zine — AUB Zine Society (various) • Haras 2nd class — Sarah Maria Schmidt/Haras (Ananas) • Have some change — Mass Control Superviolence • Help — Andromache Kokkinou • Herbal healing: Making Fire Cider — J Henry Hansen • Hibernation — Fred Afraid • Holy shit comix!, issue #3 — Tasmar • Home Is Where The Heart Is — Aidan Frere-Smith • Hotfoot Terrors — Never Brush My Teeth • How to exist at the beach as a non-conforming body — Asparagus Plumosa • How to make your own one-page zine / Πως να φτιάξεις το δικό σου μονοσέλιδο ζιν — The Athens Zine Bibliotheque • I wonder if they could hear me jerking off and other closet fag tips — Unknown • Imaginary Memories, coloring book — RTMONE • Indie music: From fans to professionals — Athanasia Daskalopoulou, Alexandros Skandalis, Maria Dianellou, Fay Daskalopoulou • İşkembe çorbası - Χαϊκού για γερό στομάχι — Χάρης Αλεξίου • Kavourakia Ta — Queer Ink • Kiefer on dirtbike — Tefra90 • Let's talk about feelings — Unknown • Lethargic Punch — Never Brush My Teeth • Light your future bright, 2nd edition — Barba Dee • Livor Mortis Zine #1 Hype in the Hypogeum — SBF Ruttley • Livor Mortis Zine #13 Mo Honey Mo Problems — SBF Ruttley • Livor Mortis Zine #2 Party Hits Vol.2 — SBF Ruttley • Livor Mortis Zine #6(66) The Number of the Beast — SBF Ruttley • Lord — DED2: APESK, ΗΓΗ • Lost in the city — Inés Ballesteros • Lung-Independent music fanzine, issue #6 — Various • Manual — Leifur Ýmir Eyjólfsson • Map of Santorini, Greece — Lila Ruby King & One Quarter Greek • Mercury Retrograde — Asparagus Plumosa • Moan, issue one — Various • Modern savior — Marianna Papageorgiou • Monsanto Company Earnings Call Transcript — Michalis Pichler • Moth. — Asparagus Plumosa • My first bike touring adventure — J Henry Hansen • My pen won't break, but borders will. — Parwana Amiri • Neo Mythological — The Krah • Neptune Square Neptune or my midlife crisis — J Henry Hansen • Networking with an attitude! — Julia Evans • NEW YORK POST flag profile — Michalis Pichler • Newspaper from the American West — Antonis Theodoridis • Not Dead Yet, vol.1 — Various • Nothingness — Manuel Hernández Ruiz • Official Portrait — Lewis Bush • Parental Leave — Anne-Laure Franchette • Peach + Eggplant — AUB Zine Society (various) • Perzine Prompts, Power to your voice — Andromache Kokkinou • Peza vs. Noir (NAC 1st Year Zine) — Neo-Apollonia Crew • Poor Appetite — Folded City • Pour Une Nouvelle Nouvelle Sculpture Grecque — Stamatis Schizakis • Pro-typos, fiction newspaper, Design Walk 2012 — pi6 • Psychedelic Art — AUB Zine Society (various) • Quasar — Ctin • Queer Ink DIY zine — Queer Ink • Queer βίωμα τραύμα και μνήμη — Mochi & Smar • Quotidien — Georgios Plastok • Room around a page — Chloë van Diepen • Self important — Kati Akraio • Soft cake — Sarah Maria Schmidt/Haras (Ananas) • Solo : A broad, issues: #2 & #3 — J Henry Hansen • Solo Diver — Solo Diver • Some call them balkans, 6 acts/books — The Ground Tour Project • Some fallen umbrellas and something else — Michalis Pichler • Sonic Urbanism — &beyond • Street Crawler, issues #1-2 — Aidan Frere-Smith • Summer Time!!! … And how to survive it! — Asparagus Plumosa • Sunny Days, the A-dash issue — A-dash (various) • Swimming outside the stream (vol.I-IV) — Karan Reshad • Talk to me — Born, Think & Yiakou • The adventures of Betty X — Krista Raisa • The Architect is absent — kyklàda.press • The Athens Zine Bibliotheque People — Nadia Stasinou • The bugbook! — Stefania Patrikiou • The cemetery is a forest — Olga Vereli & Katerina Markoulaki • The dreams of Charlotte — Charlotte & Inés Ballesteros • The Feminine Sublime — Rakel McMahon, Katrín Inga Jónsdóttir Hjördísardóttir & Eva Isleifs • The Gum Issue Magazine, issues #1-3 — Various • The international pop no.1, La Sabotage — Dominik Leitner • The Krah illustra zine (1997-2020) — The Krah • The Krah sketchbook, issue #1 — The Krah • The lioness only swims when she has to — Margarita Athanasiou • The Olive tree and the old woman — Parwana Amiri • The search for what doesn't exist begins — Leifur Ýmir Eyjólfsson • The space in between — Chloë van Diepen • The Ultimate Book Coat, User's Guide—Dah Yee Noh • The urban encounters zine — Various • The Urge — Tairis Dimitris • The worst street journal, issue #4 — Dimitris Mitropoulos • Things we don’t talk about — J Henry Hansen • This is my b. world — b. • Tinted window, issue #1: Hervé Guibert — Various • To make radical poetry from home: zine & catalogue — Various • Tomorrow Land — Jana Jarosova • Torso: The Athens Zine Bibliotheque issue — Andrew Nicholas • Torso: IZM July 2019 issue — Andrew Nicholas • Torso: Wild (16 issues) — Andrew Nicholas • TRAINS (FTBTP) — Livor Mortis Zine • Tunnel Up/Tunnel Down, a zine about virtual private networks — Mara Karagianni • Unlimited Card Zine — Noam Assayag & Nick Splendorr • Until the darkness was gone… — J Henry Hansen • Untitled — Stefania Patrikiou • Untitled — Kunstlerexemplar • Untitled — Michael Oskar Wlaschitz • Untitled, vol.1 — Aidan Frere-Smith • Untouchable!! Unreachable!! — Cara Farman & Cameron Lynch • Versifier — William Lee a.k.a. Shannon Flegel • Vielleicht Schwammerl — Kati Akraio • Von Eisen Und Wind — Klára Zahrádková • We are Stefan Werc — Tiny Hand Collective • What I wore yesterday — Asparagus Plumosa • Why do bunnies need to go to therapy? — Queer Ink • Writing new titles for an unfinished novel — Esther Kempf • You stay at home all day and daydream about shoulder dislocations — Never Brush My Teeth • You were born naked and the rest is drag — Amor de Primas • Zine 02 — Various • Zine of zines: "Pause" — Emily Randall • Zine-Ception! A zine about zines — Asparagus Plumosa • 7 αγαπημένα μέρη στη Σίκινο — These Are A Few Of Our Favorite Things • 7 θρεπτικές ουσίες που πρέπει να προσέξεις σε περίπτωση αιφνίδιας χορτοφαγίας — Margarita Athanasiou • 90 ίχνη — Αλέκος Κοάν & Φώντας • Άτιτλο — Liz Papadaki • Εδραιωτικό τετράδιο φιλίας ε#1 — Maria Paneta • Εμβοές, Πεταλούδες της λήθης — Νικόλας Μαλεβίτσης • ένα προς δύο (1:2) — Nikos Staikoglou • Εξομολογήσεις — Various • Η πρώτη τελευταία και παντοτινή Μπιενάλε του Ψηλορείτη, Παναγιώτης Λουκάς & Μαλβίνα Παναγιωτίδη — Stamatis Schizakis • Η πρώτη τελευταία και παντοτινή Μπιενάλε του Ψηλορείτη, Ρένα Παπασπύρου — Stamatis Schizakis • Η πρώτη τελευταία και παντοτινή Μπιενάλε του Ψηλορείτη, Φοίβη Γιαννίση — Stamatis Schizakis • Θα βγαίνω θα πίνω — Asparagus Plumosa • Θέρως — μ² • Καλοκαίρι από απόσταση — Νίκος Καπετάνιος • Λένα Λεπιδόπτερα — Eloish Leigh • Λίπος Άλμπατρος #6 — Joanne Alexopoulou • Μια εποχή στον χαρτοπόλεμο — Αντώνιος Βάθης • Νεωτερισμοί — Χάρης Αλεξίου • Ντελίριο — Μαρία Κωνσταντοπούλου • Οι παγωμάρες μέρες του Πηλίου — Αναστασία Δαφερέρα • Πευκόραμα — Christina Karavida & Louis Bitsikokos • Ποιήματα για Πόκεμον — #TextMe_Lab • Πολιτικά χοντρέλες — Σοφία Αποστολίδου, Hodan Warsame, Φωτεινή Κάκκαρη & Βασιλική Λαζαρίδου • Πώς να φτιάξεις χαρτί στο σπιτάκι σου και να τυπώσεις διάφορα πράγματα ανάλογα με την όρεξή σου και το budget σου, εγχειρίδιο part 1 — Νέλλη & Χριστίνα • Σαντορίνη: μια σύντομη εισαγωγή — Θάνος Ν. Στασινόπουλος • Σαράντα δύο — Silent • Σεμπρία, τεύχη #1-3 — Κύριος Φλανέριος • Σου 'χω πει ποτέ — Tango with lions • Τα θερινά — Χάρης Αλεξίου • Τι τρώνε οι κότες; — Νικόλας Φαράκλας • Τρυφερά υφαίστεια ως το μεδούδι χωρίς επιστροφή — Αντώνιος Βάθης • Φούιτ, τεύχη ΙΙΙ, ΙV & V — Various • Χαίρομαι που είσαι φίλη μου — Asparagus Plumosa • Χαμένο σαν σταφίδα σε μωσαϊκό — Never Brush My Teeth �� Ψηφίδες / Pixels (12 books) — miss dialectic • Ψωμί — Paky Vlassopoulou

List of zines that we forgot in Athens (will be presented in 2022 at "AZB @ Sikinos VOL.4"): • 38°32’S 143°58’E — Mirella & Arur Kokk • Berlin Love Me — Αντώνιος Βάθης • Do I have self esteem? — Alex Schauwecker • freedom machine — Mirella & Arur Kokk • Kerozine, issue #1 — The Shop Lifters Collective • Tabloid, issue #1 — Various • διαχωρισμός — Mirella & Arur Kokk • Η πρώτη μου βαβέλ — Tasmar

#events #the athens zine bibliotheque #theAthensZineBibliotheque #SNFPHI #The Stavros Niarchos Foundation Public Humanities Initiative #The Stavros Niarchos Foundation #Columbia University #Sikinos #Sikinos island #Cyclades #Aegean #Greece #zine exhibition #zine workshop #exhibition #workshop #2021

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streamingthruamerica · 5 years

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I wanted more time in Amsterdam, but time wouldn’t allow. I still had Germany to consider, and Bergen-Belsen was my first stop. Google Maps predicted a 4.5 hour drive. Then again, Google never consulted me about driving on the Autobahn.

I rented a SEAT Leon–a car I knew nothing about–but was assured by the agent that, “SEAT Leon is a useful car to get from point A to point B.”

“Never heard of it before. What kind of car is it…compared to more popular carmakers?” I asked.

“Think of it as a sportier Spanish version of a VW Golf,” he informed.

OK, I thought. That ought to do, and it seemed so appropriate considering how close the concentration camp is to Wolfsburg, home of the VW factory and largest automobile plant in the world.

For a third of the way, I had to watch my speed, before crossing the country border into Germany. But once A1 turned into A 30, I was off to the races. Ordinarily, 130 kmph (81 mph) is the top-posted speed limit on highways, but for many high performance vehicles, that’s akin to standing still. When clear of road frequent repairs, much of the Autobahn carries three lanes of traffic: trucks and turtles in the right lane; quasi-regulation speed in the middle lane; and Mach 1, bat-outta-hell speed in the left lane.

I waited patiently until I reached De Poppe, where I overtook a BMW 3, and throttled the accelerator as I pushed the transmission into top gear. This was life in the fast lane. When the speedometer crossed 170, I set my sights on the next middle-lane creeper, a Fiat 500. My cruising speed topped 190 and flattened. The Fiat was coming up fast on my right. I checked my mirrors, and suddenly discovered the front end of a Mercedes-AMG GT filling my rearview and flashing its headlights. Seriously?! Within seconds of passing the Fiat?!

I stood my ground–I was committed to passing the Fiat–it was my right! Of course, my tailgater thought the same. The roadster was so close, I could have been towing him. And now its syncopated horn was blaring. In my fantasy, it probably resembled a Grand Prix pas de deux, but in reality, it was German intimidation.

I sped past the Fiat and quickly crossed back to the middle. The Mercedes effortlessly blew by me doing no less than 240, and in a blink of an eye, my nemesis was beyond my driving horizon. Thereafter, I occasionally found my way back to the rocket lane, but I was content to run, where others were meant to fly.

Nevertheless, I managed to shave a half-hour off my run time as I took my exit. The scenery turned verdant green as I shot down the lonely country lane. Trees were filling in, crops were sprouting, and accents of color from wild flowers popped against a cloudless sky.

I was racing to Bergen-Belsen–not knowing what to expect–but once I sensed the immediacy of my arrival, I purposely down-shifted my anxiety to regain control of my emotions. I sat in the parking lot for a minute with the engine idling, thinking about the history of this place and its connection to my family, and the untold suffering and misery caused to so many others, that I wept. It wasn’t a long cry, but long enough to strengthen my resolve.

I entered the facility, where I met Simone, who sat behind the desk of the documentation center…

and I restated my purpose. She took my grandmother’s name and cross-checked it against the memorial registry. It’s estimated that more than 50,000 people died of starvation, disease, brutality and medical sadism while interned at Bergen-Belson. When British Allies liberated the camp on April, 15, 1945, they discovered over 60,000 prisoners, most of them sick or dying.

“You are very fortunate. Just before the Liberation, the Nazis destroyed most of their records to hide their crimes. We only have records for only half the prisoners held here, but lucky for you, your grandmother’s name is on the list,” she said with excitement.

And then she presented me with twin volumes…

and flagged the most significant page in Volume Two…

which caused my heart to race.

Because of limited time to see the exhibition hall, in search of supporting evidence.

Square window boxes dropped into the floor revealed personal items…

that were unearthed after the British incinerated the camp to control the spread of typhus that permeated the surroundings.

Walls of displays detailed the story of the horrors within…

Because of correspondence from Bernd Horstmann, curator of the museum’s Register of Names, I learned that Grandma Rose arrived from Westerbork on January 12, 1944 with 1,024 other Jews,

and was detained at the Star Camp, a subsidiary of the Exchange Camp…

Because Grandma Rose had value to the Nazis as a seamstress, she would most likely be deployed to the SS-owned Weaving Works,

which forced women to produce items from scrap materials,

in addition to repairing inmate uniforms.

Camp conditions at the Star Camp were considered better than other sections within Bergen-Belsen, however…

and the indignity was enough to drive to drive the prisoners mad.

Nevertheless, there was a code of conduct inside the huts, regardless of the barbarism on the outside. Having been relegated to Block 20, Grandma Rose was beholden to Jewish Elder, Joseph Weiss.

As surrounding concentration camps closed, Bergen-Belsen saw a dramatic increase in inmates. Originally intended as a Soviet POW camp for 20,000 prisoners, the camp population swelled beyond imagination and sustainability.

By April, 1945, the Third Reich learned that the Allies had broken German defenses from the west and the south as the Soviets were advancing from the east.

On April 7, 1945, Grandma Rose was among the first to be loaded onto a transport initially bound for Thereisenstadt,

but destined for the gas chambers.

Of course, no one knew where they were going or what to expect, except inhumane conditions, sickness and death.

After six days of unimaginable terror on the rails, Grandma Rose’s train was liberated near the German village of Farsleben on April 15, 1945 by American soldiers from the 743rd Tank Battalion of the 30th Infantry Division.

Still-unidentified women, moments after liberation, April 13, 1945. Courtesy of the Gross family

Maj. Frank Towers, who also took part in the liberation, organized the transfer of Grandma Rose and the other 2,500 released prisoners to a nearby town, Hillersleben, where they received medical treatment from Allied troops. She weighed 90 pounds when she admitted to the field hospital.

I had seen enough, but I needed to see more. I just didn’t know if I could process anymore at the time. But there was one last exhibit that I could not ignore inside the Film Tower, no matter how difficult it seemed.

Eventually, the museum was cleared at 5pm. As many as 10 other patrons filed through the exit and into their cars, leaving me with another couple to roam the cemetery grounds on a beautiful Spring afternoon.

There are no tombstones on the grounds, but there are government memorials…

and government tributes…

and personal markers.

scattered among a cluster of memorial mounds…

where the unknown remains of tens of thousands share a mass grave beneath the berm.

(please be advised of extremely graphic content)

I found solace inside the House of Silence, an outlying metal and glass edifice in the midst of a birch tree grove…

that offers a soaring meditation room…

for personal reflection.

and hundreds of tokens of healing and prayer.

A solemn oath to “never forget,” brings us one-step closer to “never again.”

Searching for Closure, Part 2 I wanted more time in Amsterdam, but time wouldn't allow. I still had Germany to consider, and Bergen-Belsen was my first stop.

#Autobahn #Bergen-Belsen #Germany #Holocaust #House of Silence #Judaism

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webmasterkahpi-blog · 5 years

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The Ancient Culture of Ayahuasca: A Brief Revisit!

The archaeologists are yet to determine the inception of the brew called Ayahuasca. Different studies suggest that this Entheogenic drink has been recently being used widely by the aboriginals. Well! There are many westerners who believe that this drink has been popular in the Amazonian region since ancient times.

The real question that emerges out of this concept is, if there is no such evidence, then what made people think that it has a connection long-dated back. Visions of different people have often been referred to as supporting proof. The believers and Ayahuasca drinkers often talk about visions where they have witnessed the use of Ayahuasca since the ancient times. In fact, sometimes the reference of other terrestrial elements has also been mentioned.

If we keep all these things aside and simply take the help of anthropological research, then the possibility of Ayahuasca being used since thousands of years is pretty strong. But then again, there is no such constructive evidence about the consumption of Ayahuasca. The evidence that is available refers that Ayahuasca was first consumed by the Tukanoan speakers from the upper Western Amazon.

According to Bernd Brabec de Mori who is a renowned Anthropologist suggests that the consumption of Ayahuasca dates back to thousand years or more. He has also noted that as per the records of archaeologists are concerned, the Tukano region was connected to other regions of the Amazon through different trades, yet there is hardly any reference to the ancient culture of Ayahuasca.

Another constraint in finding Ayahuasca evidence is the rainforest climate. This climate fuels the destruction and thus puts a remarkable question mark on the consumption of Ayahuasca. In 900BC, there is a reference for preparations containing DMT. Well! DMT is a psychoactive molecule that is present in most of Ayahuasca brews.

Renowned researchers believe that there are some native groups who have been using this Entheogenic brew Ayahuasca even before the addition of leaves containing DMT or Chacruna plant. Irrespective of the addition of Chacruna plant, the science has shown that Ayahuasca vine has psychedelic effects.

Ayahuasca is considered as the soul food for Amazonian people. The origin of the culture of Ayahuasca might be still unknown or very little references have been found to date. But, this brew has been healing the people of Amazon for a long time. The popularity of Ayahuasca is growing every now and then with the help of aboriginals and a number of Westerners. And eventually, Amazon has become a new destination to the seekers for Ayahuasca research.

#culture of Ayahuasca

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