#the eras have been era-ing in my brain recently | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

bigskydreaming · 4 years

Text

antifamutantdown replied to your post:

Thanks to a friend I got my grubby little hands on...

Kalen… You must review the rest I can’t do this anymore

So far the only other ones I’ve read are X-Men #1 and Marauders #1, and I have very little thoughts on them!

My X-Men #1 thoughts can be summed up as cool space house, Krakoan dish soap is neat idea but also gross, we don’t need to see that, why is Havok there, why is Havok anywhere, die Havok die, yay Gabe! Its so weird that I like megalomaniacal actually canon despot and father killer Gabriel Summers better than Alex but like, in his defense Corsair is a shitty father, the Shi’ar Empire is a shitty empire, and like, spending a decade entombed on an asteroid while Xavier mindwipes everyone into forgetting you ever even existed would make anyone cranky, also like, could be worse, at least he’s not Alex. But also, why is he talking like that, its so weird and unnecessary, and also also, I do need SOME context for why he’s suddenly bbq-ing on the moon with his brothers and dad like he never once flambeed said dad like he’s currently searing those steaks, like....did he just Get Over Everything or did Xavier give him a homicidal-otomy before sticking his consciousness back in a shiny new body? I need answers!

But also lolol at him trolling Logan, even if it was in that weird ‘yo, Shakespeare’s dead, we don’t have to talk like this anymore’ kinda way. But also, Teen Cable calling Scott Dad and Jean Mom and asking them if he can trade guns with Raza and finally getting a chance to be parented the way Cable’s always deserved IS MY EVERYTHING, WHY AM I SO WEAK, and him and Rachel getting to be actual siblings and them all FINALLY having a chance to be an actual, somewhat normal FAMILY, like, this is the literal first time in any of their histories that they’ve all been together and just...enjoying a meal together, its....ugh. This is the good food. THIS is the food I’ve been waiting for. But now plz hurry up and tell me if they’re all being mind controlled by Evil Chucky, this is highly critical information and I need it and want it, please can I have it.

Meanwhile, my Marauders #1 thoughts can be summed up as:

Kitty being all yo-ho-yo-ho a pirate’s life for me in a sailboat is random as fuck, I don’t care about the story’s explanation, it just is. Also a million snores to the OH NOES, AM I EVEN A MUTANT AT ALL plot that I had hoped died with the Neo and all the other nonsense Claremont plot bunnies that never needed to be brought to fruition. I am TIRED. I do not CARE. Points to Bobby for making the Only Valid Top Joke, nobody needs to make any others ever, but minus those same points for the random switch of the Pyro that is gay and has slept with Bobby and has Sexual Tension with him for the Pyro that was basically just dead for twenty years, juuuuuuust in time for Bobby and the Not Gay Pyro to be teammates in the same book whereas the ‘Bobby just hit that fairly recently and you’d think this merited followup’ Pyro is once more, nowhere to be found. I am SUSPICIOUS.

But also, death times infinity to the equally inexplicable plot point of Why Is Kitty In Charge When Ororo, Whomst Canonically Is Like The Literal Best Leader The X-Men Have Ever Had and Also Has Actual Queen and Goddess On Her Resume....is like....literally standing right there. We get it. Kitty is amazing, she is the most amazingest maybe!mutant who ever did live, even if she’s not even a mutant or whatever. Like, I actually like Kitty, but part of that like is me maintaining that she would be equally Valid as a character even if she’s NOT the Most Important Maybe!Mutant in all the land, even when she is not on land, but is being a pirate on a sailboat. I just do not get this constant obsessive need to push her as the ultimate successor of Xavier’s dream, like, the figurehead of the next generation of X-Men....when the older generations of X-Men ARE STILL RIGHT HERE.

Its okay to just have her be a super genius spy computer hacker and also canon ninja ghost girl! She doesn’t also have to be Head Honcho In Charge Of All The X-Men Even Though We Refuse To Render a Hard Verdict On Whether Or Not She’s Canonically Old Enough To Drink Yet. We promise to be impressed by her regardless! I am TIRED. I do not CARE. Let Ororo be the leader she’s always been and always should be, instead of just having her stand behind Punky Brewster: The College Years and co-sign her Important Declarations with an “I’m With Her” T-shirt because lol why even give Ororo dialogue if you don’t need to, am I right, X-writers?

Like....you put Kitty in charge of a lineup that consists of Ororo, Bobby and Bishop, literally ALL of whom are older than her, more powerful than her, have decades more experience than her, AND have experience being team leaders themselves (yes, even BOBBY, albeit his experience wasn’t with an ‘official’ team lineup, but its well established that he was defacto leader of his oddball lineup during the O:ZT era, and he managed to get them all the way to the Final Boss Fight and win the day without a single one of the mutants under his care kicking the bucket in the betwixt time which is like, more than 90% of mutant leaders can say about their team lineups).

I’M JUST SAYING that like, even if you want Kitty to be team leader because she’s obviously qualified, like I’m not even disputing that, I’m just being like bwuh, why THIS particular team though? Its so random and like, none of these characters need the girl they all used to babysit to hold their hands and tell them where to go next and who to zap with some of the most potent mutant powers in all of mutant-dom, all of which carry a degree of responsibility that she’s never had to struggle with herself and never will because like....she can’t accidentally wipe a city off the map when she sneezes.

LOOK I HAVE A LOT OF THOUGHTS AND FEELINGS ABOUT THIS PARTICULAR PLOT POINT THAT’S BARELY EVEN A PLOT POINT, I just...I don’t get Ultimate Boss Lady Kitty Pryde. I mean, again, its NOT remotely about whether or not she’s capable of the job, she’s more than qualified and competent out the wazoo, I just don’t get the seeming NEED they have to push her as Big Bad Boss Lady when again...Ororo is STANDING RIGHT THERE. It doesn’t make SENSE.

Also, the colorist on this issue SUCKETH THE BIG ONES and needs to go back to coloring school until they can learn to shade and color Ororo’s skin tones appropriately. She should not look like she and Kitty go to the same tanning salon and then get called away to save the day before anything close to a tan is even gotten. Like, what in all the fucks in the great kingdom of Here’s A Lotta Fucks, was up with that fucking colorist. Who hurt you? Whomever told them it was okay for Ororo to look like that deserves a swift kick in the Oh No You Don’t’s.

Okay there you go! My review of the other two that I’ve read so far. Last week was pretty shitty for me so I didn’t even try to read Excalibur #1, because all I knew is it had Apocalypse ‘on the team’ and I noped in the other direction whilst saying, Lord, I do not have the patience this week to see what the fuck they come up with to justify Apoca-freaking-lypse just kicking it around the island and then being all yeah sure, let’s totally team up to go have magical shenanigans in Otherworld, like, I’m sure there’s a reason, but I do not have the brain cells to spare right now on the off chance that the reason is so dumb, multiple of my brain cells simply give up and willfully expire on the spot, rather than try and make sense of the idiocy.

Sooooo, I could just not be giving that premise enough credit, or I could be giving it too much. Time will tell. As for the rest, that about wraps up the current state of my thoughts on all things Dawn of X, with my ultimate takeaway being mostly cool stories so far dudes, but also, just FYI, I refuse to let myself get too too invested in any of this yet, on the off chance that Evil Chucky ISN’T riding shotgun in everyone’s brains and occasionally taking the wheel to use them all to make weird ass decisions like life is one giant game of Grand Theft Auto for him. Because if he’s NOT playing Gepetto to their Pinocchios, there are some WEIRD ASS character beats and story choices going down, and I actually Dislike instead of Like, so making a ruling on just how much of this is Evil Chucky vs how much of this is just Shitty Writing is like....pretty fucking key and I would like enough info to render a verdict on that matter, like, post fucking haste, so plz feel free to stand and deliver on that any day now, Marvel.

1 note · View note

rebelminxy · 5 years

Text

EVERGARDEN (INTRO)

Summary: It’s the year 2340 and the world has advanced so much in the technological area. Sam and Dean Winchester are the owners of a robotic repair shop when suddenly a flash of white bursts before their eyes. When they come to, they find themselves in another world, a world that only exists in an AR named EVERGARDEN. They are saved by a young player named NoVa, who lets them know that this augmented world isn’t the simple game, it’s life or death. The trio, together with a few other friends they make along the way, work together with the battalion called Knights of Hadron to find a way to reach the World Tree and destroy the main control server to end this horrible nightmare.

A/N: After I watched SAO, and with how technology is progressing these days, I began to imagine a world where Augmented Reality was an everyday part of life. So, I decided to put myself on writing this fic out. Mind you, some of the RPG styles and “rules” I grabbed from different fantasy games, so if you are into games like Skyrim and WoW you may spot some similarities. Thanks to @riversong-sam for the aesthetic above and to the awesome @bees0are0awesome for beta-ing this series :)

SERIES MASTERLIST

MASTERLIST

June 4th, 2340

“Dean! Watch out, it's about to do its ultimate attack!”

Dean turned to the giant creature in front of the group. He gripped his sword tightly and nodded towards Garth, letting him know he was ready. Both he and Garth ran towards the monster and screamed as they ran their swords through, activating their master ability. Sam and Kevin stayed behind, healing both warriors as they slashed and stabbed the creature, lowering its three health bars. Once the final bar was hitting yellow, Dean and Garth moved back.

“Alright, Charlie! Your turn!”

Charlie came from behind Sam and ran towards the creature, rapier in hand. Using her speed and master ability, Charlie was able to give the final blow, lowering its health from yellow to red until the bar was empty. Charlie ran back towards the group as they watched the creature yell out before shattering into a million pieces. The five screamed as they saw the words in the sky letting them know they finally completed the level monster. They happily received their prize and waited for the arena to clear out, letting them see the park they were playing at as people walked by in the background.

“Sweet! Thanks for helping me get this weapon win,” Charlie exclaimed as she examined the rapier she received. “Hope you guys got your gold as well and will be sending you each my divided-up gold once I finish upgrading this beauty.”

“No problem, no rush.” Dean laughed as he watched her admire the new weapon. “Speaking of rushing, Sam we need to head back to the garage. The parts have probably arrived, and Mr. Singer is coming in later for that upgrade on his legs.’

“Sure, catch you guys tomorrow at the big event, downtown right?”

Charlie, Kevin, and Garth nodded in agreement and the five went their separate ways, excited from the fight they just won.

=======

The year is 2340 and the world has advanced so much, technology wise. The United States finally switched to nuclear energy in the year 2032, causing a big jump in technological advances. Self-driving electric cars became the norm, mass production of robots to help humanity with everyday life, even robotic body modifications are a huge change in human life. Those that couldn’t walk now have legs, those without arms finally have them, those that couldn’t see finally can with their robotic eyes. Even those that have no special needs have sought body modifications to become stronger; to advance in jobs; to become more than human.

Because of these advances, many other countries that were still catching up became enraged with America’s powerful growth. Russia and China eventually declared war with America in the year 2326, angered that the country wouldn’t share its technological advances with them. It was a bloody war with many lives lost. But in the end, America prevailed and took control of the two giant nations. Everyone else began to fall in line, bowing down to the powerful nation, hoping to never cause another war like the Nuclear War.

America began to then expand their power through the obedient nations, sharing what they wanted, but also keeping a tight control over their progress towards a grand technological era. It was then that America decided they needed to find a way to keep a leash on everyone in the world.

When scientists found a way to insert a chip into human beings, a worldwide change took place. Everyone received an implant, which eliminated the need for cell phones and other handheld devices. Now, if you want to make a call or search for something online, it’s all at your fingertips, literally. The chip is implanted along the spinal cord on the neck, connecting itself to the brain. A thin sheet of fiber cords implanted under the skin on the non-dominant hand is connected to the chip, allowing access to a virtual keyboard. All that is needed is a slide of the finger and the person has access to everything they could imagine. Phone calls can be made privately with blue tooth headphones, pictures and videos taken with the camera that comes along with the many other apps, just slide it up and snap away.

But with these chips, comes at a very high price. This means that the American government can watch a person’s every move; listen to every phone call. And not just within the home nation, but worldwide. With none the wiser, all of humanity has become happy with the way things are.

And with said advances, came the video games. Computer and VR games are now of the past. Now, augmented reality, or AR for short, is all the rage. One of the most popular games of the year is one called EVERGARDEN. It is a fantasy-based game, an augmented reality massive multiplayer online role-playing game, or ARMMORPG. The game became so popular, that now entire sections of the city are dedicated to EVERGARDEN events, where players of all ages are welcome. It is a world within a world, where reality mixes with fantasy.

Humanity is at its prime.

===============

Sam walked into the back of the shop, pulling out the newly received parts needed to fix Mr. Singer’s leg. He walked back towards the front with parts in hand and gave them over to his older brother. Dean quietly worked on the mechanical leg on his table, his total focus on his work as Sam went over to the old man in the waiting room.

“Is there anything you would like to drink, Mr. Singer?” he asked politely.

“Nah, son, just can’t wait to get my leg back in working order. Been a bother taking off work for this but can’t complain since you boys are helping me with the discount.”

“It’s alright Mr. Singer. You were great friends with our parents and have been there to help us when we needed it. The least we can do is help you with your leg.”

Sam smiled at the old man and went back to sit beside Dean, watching his brother work his magic.

Sam and Dean Winchester owned the robotic repair shop they worked in, having taken over from their dad after he died. The brothers grew up working on robotic parts and modifications, Dean having his own with one eye. He lost his right eye in the Nuclear War a few years back, thankfully the government providing him with the best tech for his replaced eye. Dean modified it himself to help him better with his work, never needing a magnifying glass to see the much smaller parts. Before Sam came to work in the shop, he was going to school to become a specialized technician, wanting to help develop new things for humanity to thrive. But once Dean came back and their parents gone from this world, Sam gave up his studies to run the shop alongside his big brother. Together they made the shop grow, gaining more regular clients. With Sam’s specialized technician background and both their core abilities with repairs and builds, the brothers made a name for themselves as the best repair shop in town.

“So, are we really going to tomorrow’s event? You hate having to deal with the big crowds.” Asked Sam softly.

“I might hate it but its going to be a big payout and you know we need the gold to get better gear.” Dean replied, not looking up from his work.

“Think she will be there?”

Dean froze and looked up at his brother, knowing who he was talking about. In the last two main events in the downtown area, there was a group of elite players who took the wins. But one female player stood out to both brothers. She was the fastest player they had seen and with her bow in hand, she made perfect shots. Being an AR game, players only saw what the other player wore in the game, and this girl always wore a red hooded cape, hiding her face. After the first time she and the elite group came to the event, everyone was whispering about how it was rare to see her, The Red Death.

Not only was she one of the top five players, she was number two, her brother taking the top spot. Her nickname came from players that PVP-ed with her--or player vs. player. The last thing a player would see in a fight with her would be the red cape she wore, before her final hit. Just something about her made the brothers curious. Sam was the first one to admit taking an interest in her, hoping that maybe she could give them some pointers for their little guild of five. But she would arrive right before the arena would show and leave the moment the winnings were dispersed.

“Hey, if the elite group will be there, so will she.”

“I just…it would be awesome to get some pointers from an actual top player. I know you only play EVERGARDEN just for the rest of us, but it would be so cool.”

“Hey, I have fun with you guys.” Dean responded as he turned back to his work.

“The first time I asked you to join us, you asked why I, a 28-year-old, was wanting to play a kids game.”

“Look, I get why Charlie and Kevin are into it. She is a total geek and Kevin recently graduated high school. Garth I still somewhat question…”

Sam groaned as Dean began to laugh.

“Look, love playing the game with you guys and turned out cooler than I thought. Got to meet cute chicks too. I mean who would have thought some of these female players were hot.”

“Dean, c’mon.” Sam groaned, rolling his eyes.

“Well, let’s hope she isn’t all cocky and stuck up like the rest of that group. Swear, top players, think they are the best.”

Sam rolled his eyes again as he left his brother’s side to check on Mr. Singer.

======

June 5th, 2340

Sam and Dean made their way towards the closed off area in downtown, Charlie, Kevin, and Garth not far behind. Tonight was going to be the biggest event of the season in EVERGARDEN. It was announced online that the creator of the game had big plans for tonight, a new monster and update on the battle schemas. That each player would receive a specialized weapon of their choice before the event to then use from then on. And this event wasn’t just in this city. There would be arenas in different parts of the nation, making this the very first nationwide arena event. There wasn’t much information on what the new monster would be and what specialized weapons would be given, only the date, areas and time of the event.

Sam turned around to usher the other three to hurry it up as they got closer. Luckily the event in their city was at an actual arena so no streets would be closed off during the whole thing. Everyone that was heading to the arena was hyped and excited. Once they got inside, the group headed towards the front of the crowd, Sam looking around to see if he could see any sign of who the Red Death could be.

Once the clock struck 4pm, everyone activated their AR functions, their chips all glowing like normal. Everyone took on their character’s outfits and stood ready for the fight. Sam looked around again and finally spotted the Red Death. She stood at the front lines with her brother beside her, her hood covering her face. Once everyone was ready, a big screen popped above the crowd. On the screen was a cloaked figure, his face not revealed.

“To all players, welcome to the Event of EVERGARDEN!”

The crowd went wild with screams and hoopla’s before the figure continued.

“Tonight’s event has been promised to be the best. We do hope you are all ready. All around the nation, many players stand ready for the fight of a lifetime. Because the last player to defeat the new monster will be named Ruler of EVERGARDEN.”

Sam and Dean looked at each other, wide smiles on their face.

“Now, before you a small window will pop up, giving any array of powerful weapons. Depending on your status character wise, you can pick anything in the list and it shall be yours. Now there is only one of each so choose wisely.”

Dean looked down at the small screen that popped up in front of him and he began scanning the list. He eventually reached the bottom and saw this one sword called the Black Knight, which had high stats and seemed perfect for his stat compatibility. He immediately picked it, not wanting to miss out on such a sword. Once he pressed “ok” on the screen, it disappeared and suddenly the black sword appeared before him. He grabbed the hilt and held it in his hand.

“Heavy sucker, but its perfect,” he whispered to himself.

Dean looked over at his brother who held a double-edged axe. Sam looked at Dean and smiled.

“It’s powerful and will have to raise my attack gauge to handle it better but didn’t want to miss out on this one.”

“Great choice Sam,” replied Dean as he turned to look at the rest of the group.

Charlie held a long rapier that looked like it was made of gold, but she let him know it was just a color choice. Kevin held a magical staff wrapped in small vines, letting the group know that he really had to work hard on his magical abilities since the staff carried more powerful spells than he knew. And Garth laid claim to a hammer, reminding him of Mjölnir, but without the electricity powers. Instead, Garth just wanted to be able to smash things and monsters with it. The group was excited with their new weapons. Dean looked up over to where he noticed the elite group stood and saw Red Death carefully caressing a black long bow in her hands.

“Now that everyone has chosen their weapons, let us begin the main event!”

After the figure in the screen spoke, there was a sudden flash of white light. Everyone closed and covered their eyes to not get blinded by the light. Once the flash was over, Sam and Dean moved their hands away, looking around them as everyone’s chip was glowing but this time a color green. That’s when they noticed their surroundings.

It looked like they were in a different world, a green world with trees surrounding them. That’s when everyone began to realize that they were in a forest.

“This is new. Wonder if everyone else sees this forest.” Dean mumbled.

“Dean, look behind us,” Sam exclaimed.

Dean turned to see a bunch of random people looking around all confused. He couldn’t help but notice these people were wearing the starter outfits every player got when they first started EVERGARDEN. Even the small kids had on the outfits.

“Wait, why are kids wearing…. isn’t this game like rated for teens and above?” asked Kevin.

“Yeah, literally 13-year old and above play, anyone younger than that isn’t allowed on the game because of the violence and nightmare inducing monsters,” Charlie replied with a worried tone.

“You are all possibly wondering what is going on,” began the figure on the screen, grabbing everyone’s attention. “You are all now in the world of EVERGARDEN, its true realm.”

Mumbles and whispers began to flow between the players, everyone slightly confused by what was going on.

“As you can see around you, everyone, even non-players are now alive in EVERGARDEN. The entire world map is extended throughout the nation. Your world is now part of EVERGARDEN.”

A bit of panic began to spread between everyone, as Sam and Dean looked at each other with worry.

“Because of the chips in your necks, this augmented reality is now an actual reality. Hunger and sickness are real, just as death is.”

The figure pointed down from its screen into the crowd, when suddenly someone began to scream in pain. Sam looked above the crowd since he was tall and saw a young boy grabbing hold of his heart as if having a heart attack. Sam noticed how his chip began to glow a bright orange and slowly turned into red. After staggering to the ground on his knees, his hands dropped as his body did as well. A loud thunk could be heard as the young boy laid there in the—supposedly real--grass. He didn’t move, someone getting closer slowly to check his pulse.

“He’s dead!” the player yelled out once he removed his fingers from the poor boy’s throat.

That’s when panic began to ensue. The crowd grew louder in the chaos that was starting, people shoving each other.

“But do not fret, for there is an end goal.”

Everyone looked up to the figure on the screen and grew quiet, listening.

“There is a giant tree in the middle of this world, The Great Tree of knowledge. And in that tree are twenty different levels. Each level consists of a powerful boss that you must defeat. Once the first nineteen bosses are defeated, the final and most powerful boss will be your exit. Because at the final boss arena, there will be a button you must press which will help you activate the server controls to end all this. You must fight your way through these powerful bosses to save the people of this nation.”

“Wait, this has to be some kind of joke?” Garth mumbled.

“We don’t have to deal with this! Let’s just take the chips out and we are good!” someone yelled from the crowd.

“Try if you will, but you will surely die. Remember folks, those chips are connected to your spinal cord and brain. Anyone that tries to pull it out will receive a shock to the brain, causing it to immediately shut down, killing you.”

Everyone began to slowly remove their hands from the back of their necks, afraid to prove the figure right.

“Now thrive and survive for this world is now your home. Good luck to you all!”

The screen went black to then disappeared from the sky. Sam turned to his brother, noticing the look of fear in his eyes. They were trapped in this AR world by the looks of it.

“No, if this is only in American, someone on the outside must know what’s going on and will stop this.” Kevin whispered under his breath.

“You really think those outside will help us?” All four guys turned to look at Charlie who was shaking. “Those outside hate us, they hate this government and those living in this nation. This is their chance to let us all die here and get rid of us.”

“Don’t say that Charlie, someone has to know what’s going on and get us out of here. If what that guy said was right, that means innocent women and children are in this world. Old folks, too.” Sam exclaimed as he grabbed Charlie’s shoulders.

“Sam, don’t you get it We are going to die in here!”

All five looked at each other, confused and afraid as everyone else around them was in a panic. That’s when Sam looked up from Charlie because he noticed something red slip past his peripheral vision. That’s when he saw the elite group running past the crowd and into the field, the red cape flying in the air as Red Death and her group ran far away from the chaos.

Tags:

@coffee-obsessed-writer

#supernatural fanfiction #AugmentedReality #futuristic!au #supernatural #supernatural fic #SPN #spn fanfic #Sam Winchester #dean winchester #ofc (original female character)#sam x ofc x dean #sam winchester x ofc x dean winchester #gaming #fantasy

1 note · View note

acaseforpencils · 6 years

Text

Jason Chatfield.

Bio: I grew up in the far flung suburbs of Perth, in Western Australia, and used to spend my paper route money on MAD Magazines (I cheaped-out and stole my dentist’s waiting room issues of the New Yorker. I think I was the only kid who looked forward to going to the dentist).

I moved to New York in 2014 and started pitching to the mag in person. I’m not sure Bob liked me, so I went back to pitching via email. Then I went in on his last day and finally sold my first piece. I feel like it was his final f—k you to the magazine. “Here! Have a Chatfield!”

Find this print here!

The cartoon was a goofy play on Vlad the Impaler.

I didn’t sell to the magazine again until last month, but I’ve had a handful sold as dailies. And I’m published in MAD often, so they’ve clearly done away with any of their standards.

When I’m not drawing gag cartoons I write and draw a syndicated legacy strip called Ginger Meggs which I took over 10 years ago. It’s been around since 1921 and now appears daily in 34 countries. He’s kind of an Australian version of Dennis the Menace, except he predates him by about 30 years.

Tools of choice: For drawing/roughs, I use a Prismacolor Turquoise clutch pencil with a red lead and try to find some paper with a little bit of tooth. The mixed media pads at Blick do the trick nicely.

I ink using a Uni-ball Vision Elite Stick Roller Ball Pen… or a Pigma Micron 03.

DO NOT use the Uni-Ball Vision Rollerball Pens, Fine Point (0.7mm) if you’re traveling. They explode on planes. And ruin your copy of The New Yorker.

For a wash, I just use watercolor and whatever brush is lying around. Nothing fancy. There’s a scanning app on my phone called “Adobe Scan” which does a nice job of scanning line-art into a PDF when I’m out of the studio and need to email in a quick rough.

I use a Wacom Mobilestudio Pro for finished artwork. I like to get out of the studio and work from a bar or restaurant, so it helps that I can take that with me. I use a little glove that I got on Amazon so I don’t grease up the screen, and the felt-tip nib that comes in the pen-holder makes the friction between the stylus and the screen more like pencil on paper. Unfortunately, they’re not waterproof, as I found on a recent vacation…

youtube

My wife plays piano and sings at bars around the city so I’ll often sit at the bar during her sets and draw. Digital/Traditional depends on what deadlines are most pressing. (She has a weekly residency in Astoria —if anyone’s interested in going, let me know!)

A lot of people email me for advice about tablets —I’ve been trialling/demo-ing Wacom products for 15 years— I think they’re great. If you’re married to doing stuff by hand but want to colour digitally, you can get a decent tablet without going broke. Depends on your workflow.

Writing Desk: My wife and I were living upstairs in 5A when my neighbour in 4B died. He was a brilliant poet and had an incredible old writing desk. It’s the only thing that was left in the apartment, so I’m looking after it ’til his grandson moves in at the end of our lease. I work for countless hours at this old thing. It’s beat up, but I��ve patched it together enough that it won’t collapse and bury me mid-brushstroke. I’ve stuck a few of my favourite toons on the top of it.

Tool I wish I could use better: My brain. It really is a sack of cats. Whenever I want to sit and do work, it clocks off. Then it comes up with a pearler of an idea at 3 in the morning when I’m trying to sleep. I write it down in my phone, but autocorrect makes it indecipherable by morning.

I like working with my writer friend, Scott. We both do comedy at night and have developed a nice short-hand. We also seem to have the same library of references and can build on each others’ premises, which tames my sack-of-cats.

Tool I wish existed: The Deadline Extender.® I’ve never missed a deadline, but that said… an extra 3 or 4 minutes to allow for a terrible wifi connection, or a errant scanner wouldn’t go astray.

Also: The Deadline Extender® PREMIUM: Let’s you go back in time to when you were procrastinating and slap yourself in the face. $30 p/month.

Tricks: Ok, well. This is going to sound a bit Dalton Trumbo, but bear with me: I do my best work…in the bath.The most productive 3 hours of my week are during Scotchbath Sunday; an immoveable chunk of time on Sunday evening whereby I lock myself in the bathroom, run a bath, lug my drawing stuff onto a bit of wood that sits over the bath, and just write and draw. Nothing else. I write weeks worth of my syndicated comic strip (Ginger Meggs), I write New Yorker cartoons, scribble up roughs for dailies— and when I feel like I’ve earned it (usually 2 hours in) I tap the side of the bath three times, and my wife peels herself from her piano and I unlock the door to a nice big glass of scotch. It’s a hell of a carrot on a stick to work towards when you’re stuck. (PS. Lest you think I’m some kind of Don Draper-era misogynist; the scotch reward part was her idea. I think she realized it keeps me in the bath and out of her way.)

Anyway. It’s a great way to switch gears creatively. It’s like being on an aeroplane. No wifi, no phones — just the work you need to get done. Get involved. #ScotchBathSunday.

Oh! And if I get my deadlines done for the week, I have a small budget for a solo lunch somewhere where I can eat cheese and draw. I really didn’t know cheese ’til I moved to America. (And yes, I’ve already been to Wisconsin. Good Lord.)

Tips? I always tell younger artists to not even think about touching a drawing tablet until they’ve learned to draw by hand first. Otherwise they’ll always be drawing away, knowing they have the insurance of the CTRL+Z key at their disposal if they screw up a line. That’s not a good habit to have when you’re working to a deadline. But, once you do know how to draw, by all means dive head-first into the digital realm. It’s incredible. Procreate, Sketchbook or Photoshop are all great.

Misc: One of the hangovers from working in advertising illustration is that I’ve had to be a bit of a chameleon style-wise for the last 15 years and haven’t allowed myself to just settle into one style. Lately, I’ve just decided to say “Bugger it!” and try and find a loose, consistent style that I’m comfortable with, that’s an apt conduit to my silly ideas.

I always loved George Booth’s line, and his ability to create a scene with so much movement but just at the right moment in time. Also Sam Gross’ dark, hilarious cartoons with perfect line-economy. And I’d give my left arm (I draw with my right) to know how Barry Blitt has so much control with his washes…

Chatfield’s portrait of Sam Gross

While I’m geeking out, I love seeing younger cartoonists find their feet and thrive in a style that just feels like they’re speaking to you— Ellis J. Rosen, Sofia Warren, Hilary Fitzgerald Campbell, Jason Katzenstein, Amy Kurzweil, and a seemingly endless list of talented younger artists who are putting in the work are a big inspiration.

I know it should be Steig or Thurber or Addams, but my favourite cartoonist is Sergio Aragones.

I was always so enamoured of MAD growing up and studied the lines of Jack Davis, Mort Drucker, Al Jaffee and the Usual Gang of Idiots. I remember being so frustrated I couldn’t even come close to getting my work to look like theirs, but I think I found a style somewhere in between when I fell short.

I think Wil McPhail’s poses are masterful, and I wish I knew how how the hell he did that. One day I’ll trudge up to England and knock on his door to ask him. I find myself doubled-over at John Cuneo’s Instagram, and Ed Steed’s absurdly funny gags. I have a slew of toons I’ve torn out of years’ worth of magazines and taped to my studio wall, or my zillion year-old writing desk. I’m constantly humbled by how generous and welcoming the existing crop of New Yorker cartoonists have been to a goofy Aussie immigrant — Joe Dator, Matt Diffee and Pat Byrnes, Mort Gerberg and an ever-growing list of prolific, talented cartoonists who make the 99% weekly rejection tolerable.

I’ve made some of my closest friends and have been lucky enough to meet my cartooning heroes through the National Cartoonists Society. I got to spend a lot of time with Sergio at the Lakes International Comic Art Festival in the UK last year which made my year. We were signing together for a whole afternoon and I spent more time geeking out with him than signing.

Okay. Enough drooling. Sorry.

I’m a fan of cartoonists.

Website, etc. I have a weekly podcast where I throw around ideas for New Yorker cartoons with a fellow comedian and writer, Scott Dooley. It’s called “Is There Something In This?” It’s a bit of fun. We don’t take ourselves too seriously, but we do take the art of writing gags very seriously. It’s an extremely difficult skill to master, and we’re virtually zygotes at it. We have lots of listeners now, which is bewildering. Talking about drawing is like dancing about architecture, but here we are. Anyway you can find it on iTunes or wherever you waste time listening to podcasts.

My website is jasonchatfield.com and my comedy stuff is up at jasonchatfieldcomedy.com ( I’ve been doing stand-up comedy for 11 years. If anyone wants to come see a show, hit me up! I’ll put you on the door). My instagram is @jasonchatfield. I’m still trolling the British chap who has the @jasonchatfield handle on Twitter to no avail. To that end, I’m @jason_chatfield on Twitter.

If you want more art supplies in your life, A Case for Pencils is on Instagram and Twitter. You can also find me, Jane (the person who created/edits this blog), on Twitter here, which is where I stick the paintings that I’ve been doing instead of interviewing people consistently (I needed to balance working on other people’s work and my own work!). Oh, and If you’d like to support this blog, which is always very appreciated, there are many different ways to do so, which you can find here!

#Jason chatfield #how to draw New Yorker cartoons #artists on tumblr #art supplies #drawing process #artist interview

18 notes · View notes

lvlsrvryhigh · 7 years

Text

LVLSRVRYHI-054: Hunni'd Jaws

Introductions first: for anyone who doesn't know, who are you / where are you from? Yo yo, thanks for having me - I’m Hunni’d Jaws. I'm a solar eclipse personified. I moisturize. Facts: Coconut oil is not what it’s cracked up to be, if you want the hook-up on emollients DM me...on some off the record ish. My latest conspiracy is that I'm immortal.

From New York, exiled in Berlin, I mean “based”. How does "On exile" sound? Like I’m on chic sabbatical for being a leftist multi-national expatriate. Although, ya gotta strive for "arbitrarily-detained" these days, for the social media credentials.

What music did you grow up listening to? I grew up whittling didgeridoos. On the real, there’s a rogue didgeridoo in the house I grew up in. I have no clue how it got there. No one knows how to really “play” it, we’ve all tried. If my folks got it at a flea market, I’ll be a livid that my parents are just hoarders, and that Carlo Santana’s 3rd cousin didn’t loan it to us.

I’m so thankful for access to radio like Hot 97 and NYC. Nineties pop music was an animal. Dance-pop, grunge, dancehall, alt-rock, RnB, hip hop, trip-hop, the OG list goes on. I’m nostalgic for the pop hits, from Ace of Bass to No Doubt.

Mix cds were essential living. My street punk older sister got me into punk music and concert-going, starting at places like the Chance in Poughkeepsie. Thusly train-ing to NYC was compulsory. SO former self getting signatures on my cons. I grew up technically too far to be a bridge-and-tunnel though. “Bridge-and-tunnel" is slang for someone who takes one of the bridges and/or tunnels to get to NYC by car. Bridge-and-tunnels get on the Metro-north around White Plains with vodka Coolatas and clog up the Midtown club scene.

My folks played jazz, on special holidays merengue, 60s funk, reggae some 80s pop - cuz they’re into that - oh and a lot radio monotonous news coverage, tonally so nauseating that they smell like plastic factory fumes. Afro-caribbean & latin music were solace, since I’m half dominican. My uncle was more current, and played lots of new wave, punk, or like fat boy slim and beastie boys for us. We ransacked his computer once when we finally got cd burner software.

I also was heavily into indie rock, post-punk and random hip hop or the genre one-offs, like Hold You Down by the Alchemist, I found. Finding music was everything. I wrote about UK experimental & indie music for my HS newspaper - no one cared. My younger sister got me into A Tribe, Madvillian and J Dilla. Shout out to Nora for keeping me updated on hip hop mixtapes throughout the 2000s. And in college I veered towards indie music and electronic.

I'm cutting myself off, we should pick up the conversation here for the next interview. We can highlight more cringe-worthy pleasures that did not age well and my descent into grime and club, and how I’m still an angsty tropical riotgrrl haha.

One of my earliest musical memories was going to this wedding in 1997 and dancing to radio garage house tracks - what we called techno. Recently, I had a dance floor epiphany at Monarch Club in Berlin. Soda Plains played a garage track I hadn’t heard since that era, maybe that occasion. I made a note of the lyrics, found it later, and binged on it for like a week. This is my mentality.

My first introduction to you as a DJ came via Call Dibs, the show you run with Dis Fig on Berlin Community Radio, so I wanted to get an idea as to how the show first came about and what the motivations were behind starting it together. How did the two of you start to put things together? Yeah before Call Dibs, before deejaying, I was a head in NYC. Fel - Dis Fig - and I met then, kicking it many dawns.

Fast forward, in Berlin we saw a vacancy for our musical focus on BCR - whose programming we admired and were acquainted with. It fell into place. We decided to do this plan b, instead of becoming tech-house legends.

Going through the show's archive is like reading a who's who of upcoming djs over the past few years and it's pretty impressive how on top of it the two of you have been. How do you decide on which guests to reach out to? Do you have any dream picks? Thanks! We follow music, convene on that, take turns hosting monthly, and plan logistical. There's been several artists, I heard one track of theirs and decided to ask them. I was lucky they were down. It's insanely cut-throat. There's usually a rose award ceremony and sacrifice.

No "dream picks", I’d like to work with so many people, especially unique gem artists. I'm interested in new, small, unique voices and showcasing challenging fun sounds.. The cult of celebrity dominates booking, the scene and the industry. At the same time, we don't obscurity hunt. The process is organic, why dilute it?

From what I can gather (correct me if I've got this backwards), you moved from New York to Berlin not too long before the BCR show first started. Do the two cities mean different things for you musically? Did anything change for you in that vein after making the move? Yeah definitely! I lived in NYC for a couple summers during school, then moved to Brooklyn after college for 3ish years. New York is it’s mix of cultures and hustle. There are so many micro-communities doing amazing things. It is a pace, hip-hop, outspoken, loud - the majority of new dembow in my mix, I heard blaring out of cars, at restaurants, and in cabs while visiting over in early June. Even just 2 years ago, Bushwick was not what it is now, or Crown Heights even. I grew up in the music communities in NY through Jelly NYC, Tribes, bass warehouse parties like Reconstrvct and DIY venues like 285 Kent, and lived with the Teklife extension. Ballroom, dancehall, jersey club, and footwork were foundational w/ parties like Ghettogothik, Lit City, S!ck Magic, Mixpak, among others. With all this stacked against a city, there's so much synchronicity, like Dubbel Dutch playing an arcade entirely word of mouth, or mythic rooftop parties w/ lineups of whoever is in town not playing officially in the city. Or heads from around the country, turn out to see acts on a Monday night in Meatpacking district. It’s a constant struggle and everything is bought out. I have a deep bond there, the music community has a different appreciation and gratefulness for each other. People dance. I’m idealizing hxc. It all took bites, I got bored, and was looking to contribute.

I shifted gears, and moved to Berlin, to party less. Hahah. Techno goth, crust punk aura, the gay club scene, and deejaying/producer culture are indisputably mainstream. The leftfield club scene is compact w/ Janus, PAN, Trade, Creamcake, Boo Hoo, among others. There’s a core DJ and music producer community here that inspires me, albeit, a catch-22, is insular. There’s more funding, clubs are seen as institutions. It’s still Germany. It’s much more modest, introverted, and chill. The sound is usually spot on. Flights are cheap. It’s more white, whiter than the Midwest.

If you can sort housing, it’s a refuge for creativity because of work/life balance.

You're also involved with a few programs based around teaching dj skills to women and those within the lgbtq+ spectrum in No Shade and Intersessions. What interested you about these programs? What was it like for you personally when you first learnt to DJ? Was there anything similar out there at the time? Who wants a world w/ the same people, the same cliques, in control throwing the same parties, of similar perspectives, w/ the same mega brands curating, playing the same music? Sign me up if I'm a mega-brand.

I didn’t choose to be half black, a woman, or femme, so I def take advantage of the opportunities given to me. And I'm aware I'm somewhat priveleged. I have a lot of friends who also want to organize and pass the torch. My core ethics are merging human rights, creativity, and access empowerment. I was also involved in the Co-Op compilation w/ Ziur, galvanized to counter the tension and rise of global alt-right movements.

When I first learned to DJ, it was a necessity to socializing. And when I got more serious about it, I had to teach myself. Getting comfortable at the club and tech-literacy was another blind-fold. I’ve had to dj with equipment I've never used before - wish these moments were filmed cuz I went too hard on myself. There were some people to help me but not really. I also had several feminist social groups to help with the visibility of women in NYC, our goals were more about solidarity and the safety of women at parties.

I co-founded No Shade alongside Linnea and Caramel Mafia in association with Acud Macht. The DJ tutoring program aspect gives the participants more security and time with industry standard equipment. They can ask questions, and they are learning from women and non-binary folk. Blasphemy!

Links between music and therapy come up a lot on your social feeds and, though it's not really something I've put a lot of thought into understanding, I often find myself relying on music to clear my mood or help me move past something that's frustrating or aggravating me. Do those ideas ever inform the sets you put together or the music you listen to? That’s sick that you found a personal correlation. Music as therapy vs. music therapy vs. sound therapy vs. vibration therapy vs. however we define music and therapy has an abundance of operational levels. On your experiential level, it’s great for emotional awareness, resonance, letting out stress, etc.

It can be deeply triggering yet cathartic too. It’s tied very close to memory. People with degenerative neurological diseases can get pieces of their identity and abilities back when listening to their old records, or happiness. In other mysteries, if you suffer a major head injury you can miraculously become a musically-creative, perfect-pitch savant. Still so much is unknown in the regard to cognitive neuroscience, music and healthcare. This is Your Brain on Music by Daniel J. Levitin and Musciophilia by Oliver Sacks expand on this.

The club is an undeniable conduit, escape. A good sound bath from a sound system will reset you. Cymatically, it manifests your physical matter. Certain chord progressions and frequencies will awaken certain feelings. Certain rhythms make you rotate your hip joints, certain vibrations catapult you to an astral plane, ASMR and whiteness soothes and entrances. I’m rambling. It’s personal, it’s human, it’s spooky, it's cyborg. There’s loads of sound phenomena to explore.

The tradition of it in the psych world is very “koombayah”, which led me away from the narrow conventional sense of it. However, there are however strides towards incorporating rap into the psychotherapy application. The history of oration down to modern rap is rooted in the "music game over the streets" to narrate the struggle. Poets from West Africa brought oration traditions over to communicate their highest spiritual being. The command of it is called Nommos. As a practice it's so very suitable for the clinical experience. Therapeutic Uses of Rap & Hip Hop by Susan Hadley discusses this, maybe overintellectualizes it, but it’s an important platitude to introduce formally to the white-coat community. I may go back to school for it, so I can dispute and defend the way. I wish I had proper exposure to composition as a kid. I was more interested in learning tabs so I could steeze on covers.

There’s truth deeper and universal, beyond niche music that privileged perspectives get to admire, be bewildered by and entertain with. It's orthodox. It seems the people involved don't consider how esoteric and self-centered this chokehold of participation is, like subjective tunnel-vision ; music culture is full of circumstance, value judgements, media infrastructure, markets, and industry. Who has access? What is contingent? and Why? What does this all mean in 5-10 years?

You seem to take a playful, lighthearted, but also semi-theatrical approach towards your moniker and press shots (covering yourself in honey, planning to do the same but with bees), which is refreshing and in stark contrast to the ultra serious DJ look (black tee, dark background, lots of shadow, plsdon'tsmile). Was that something you consciously set out to achieve? Wow, thanks for noticing! Deejaying is full of bad baaaad tropes. Shout out Kurupt FM for being as played out as possible. Satire, critiques, and creating new information are important to me but it's more unconscious and involuntary. Music gets all bent out on being serious, then plays into trends and lacks originality.

I treat creating under hunnid jaws as a full multi-medium, creative universe. My press shots were fun. They feel so old, they're from a past life at this point. The series are under themes of objectification, erotica, and sex culture paradigms mirroring a literal interpretation of my pseudonym. The general idea was around for 2 years before it came together with my homegirl Syd who's in Rotterdam now. The actual process felt like I was suffocating and stung my eyes, basically honey-board torture. I'm sitting on a lot of weird ideas and bizarre influences. Just takes one or two sentences for an idea to be a good one. I'm excited to use them when I have more content and collaborators. I'd love to art direct for others. And to do more video. Or something extrasensory.

Did you set out with a particular idea for this mix? Where / how did you record it? I recorded it in my room on my pioneer ddj-sb controller. No set intention but this mix is a missing cut from a film reel, like a glimpse into my flashback. Disorienting like a horror flick being played in reverse.

What do you have planned for the rest of 2017? Conjuring up some gigs and beats. Ya tu sabes.

If you had to pick something for people to listen to immediately after this mix what would it be? If you can hold out, listen to Call Dibs this Thursday 6-8pm CET.

#Hunni'd Jaws #Call Dibs #Mix Series #lvlsrvryhi #the levels are very high #interview

2 notes · View notes

elizabethrobertajones · 7 years

Note

Hi Lizzy, I'm new to the SPN fandom and saw a bunch of bibros making fun of meta writers. As a lowkey Destiel shipper it still pissed me off. I'm wondering- who are your fav meta writers to read?

Pfft, it’s practically a badge of honour that THEY are pissed off by the meta. Interpretation worries them because as soon as you get into the what they’d see as hippie dippy “all readings are valid uwu” part of literary theory, you’ve made an attempt to level the playing field with them and they don’t wanna be on it with us, they want to have the one sacred and true reading of the show to which all roads lead etc etc. Actually buying into the idea you can interpret the show and come up with multiple readings or that the text would DARE support another version (even the interpretation that Sam and Dean aren’t soulmates or something ship-free that gets in the way indirectly - or an argument they are soulmates but that’s basically just the show’s way of conveying Heaven is somehow worse than Hell for them :P) immediately is a threat to the idea of a cast iron version of the show that’s the one they latched onto.

Strange world where “reading into things” is an insult instead of a sign of healthy curiosity and a desire to learn and understand. And I see people who literally mind their own corner or would agree in spirit with their interpretation as long as you CALL it that and leave others be to have a different one, get dogpiled by them for daring to treat the show as a flexible and multi-layered, analyse-able thing…

Ah well.

Kinda missing out on the yearly punch up in the parking lot round the back of the fandom right now, tbh, since I’ve been AWOL with hanging around with family and friends stuff. Kinda not missing it. :P Welcome to the fandom, it can get pretty messy, and some of us here just wanna watch the show and ask silly questions to everyone about how many burgers Dean’s eaten on screen recently or whatever important character analysis nonsense is bothering us today.

To which end! :D

No matter how long you have followed me, even if it’s like a day or 2, you must have noticed my queue endlessly spitting out @mittensmorgul‘s full-show rewatch along with the TNT loop, all out of order and a week late because that’s how I roll. Mittens is a great meta writer to read because everything she writes is fun and the kind of hectic idea hopping my brain glues with..

Everything @awed-frog writes is similarly enjoyable to read in that style but longer and more poetic and dark, and very insightful. (You might be able to tell I’m mentioning the meta writers I reblogged stuff from today while waiting for my long term memory to contribute anything)… Linking their ask tag for starters because idk how to find other long meta at short notice :P

Actually while I’m thinking about rewatches, I’ve always enjoyed @dustydreamsanddirtyscars‘s dramatic, purple prose essay approach to meta and flawless blog presentation… Sadly Jenny’s not enjoying season 12 very much with the change in style from the weird dark symbolism of Carver era, to the sort of fractals upon fractals of weird little emotional references and do-overs this year when Dabb gets to do his thing on a whole season, but if you want Carver era weird dark symbolism, I’ve been really enjoying where she has been lurking in Carver era, meta-ing her way through it.

(I just generally dig reading re-watches, especially because all that hindsight is paying off so much now because for Dabb era if we’re going to meta it we NEED hindsight and reminders and the TNT loop playing in the background showing us just how layered and self-referential the show has become (and what it’s doing differently, and how much the characters have grown and changed, which, I think, is the point now) - anyway if you’re doing a rewatch, I LOVE to read posts about old episodes, especially the weird old MotW and really early seasons stuff no one seems to talk about much any more)

There’s a LOT of great meta writers out there and after every episode I try to find and reblog the long reaction notes, if they’re done it, from @dorkilysoulless @grey2510 @kayanem @bluestar86 (and awed frog again). @charlie-minion has been busy this season with other stuff as far as I know with a few more infrequent visits, but I know she has a page with every meta she wrote on it and generally wrote a great post per episode for a good chunk of the time I was in fandom, and still drops by fairly regularly despite a smaller presence. @thevioletcaptain also is great and has an episode reaction for most episodes (though again has been busy with IRL stuff for a few weeks/months/I have no concept of time but she hasn’t posted anything for the recent episodes as far as I’ve seen >.>) and also a page with her meta on it that when I was brand new to the fandom I had permanently open in another tab to cross-reference while I re-watched the show :P

(A lot of my favourite meta writers I imprinted on like a duckling when I was new and remember them really well but of course I love all the new people around here but my actual useful visual memories are all the fandom circa season 9 and not all around any more much, because my brain has been stewing in migraines and fatigue since, like, the middle of season 10, and my new approach is to wearily trudge through my dash barely checking who wrote what unless I have to deal with minuscule fonts on a read more, so I’m afraid my memory of active bloggers is totally rubbish and it’s best just to look at my awesome meta tag and see who I’ve been reblogging a lot lately and some really grevious oversights in people I will smack my head for not mentioning if you bring it up, but your question was phrased in such a way I went straight for who do I ENJOY reading not quick gimme a useful list with no explanation thing :P So uh, sorry if this is 100x longer than you expected :D)

#Asks #I'm really sorry newbies to the fandom have to see all the ugly stuff >.>#I really hope the impression from everyone else regardless of what we ship or do has been better than that

55 notes · View notes

itsfinancethings · 4 years

Link

It’s only April, but Fiona Apple may have already given us the lyric of the year: “Fetch the bolt cutters, I’ve been in here too long.” Fetch the Bolt Cutters is, in fact, the title of both the song where she murmurs the line as a refrain and her first album since 2012. Apple couldn’t have known when she quoted the line, first uttered by Gillian Anderson in the BBC crime drama The Fall, that she’d be releasing the record into a world on house arrest. But Apple has always been spookily prescient about the mood of the culture, magnifying her own internal landscape until it starts to look like a near-future map of the universe.

As a young artist in the late ’90s she wrote piercing songs about, among other things, her experiences with sexual assault and mental illness—topics mainstream pop culture mostly avoided until well into the 21st century. Critics praised her music but mocked her preternatural candor; in retrospect, you get the sense that the presence of such a talented, articulate, tortured brain in the head of a beautiful teenage girl threw them for a loop. Two decades later, Apple has outlasted her haters and now lives a tabloid-proof life in Venice Beach. For company, she has her dog, a roommate and the roommate’s dog. When a reporter asked her, last year, whether she’d seen the movie Hustlers—which includes a scene where Jennifer Lopez strips to Apple’s 1996 hit “Criminal”—she replied, “If I were a person who actually left my house, I’d go.”

It figures, doesn’t it, that Apple was voluntarily self-quarantining years before the rest of us were forced to? She even did much of the work on Bolt Cutters at home, where she cobbled together a studio and recorded with the help of GarageBand and a three-piece band of veteran musicians (bassist Sebastian Steinberg, drummer Amy Aileen Wood and singer-songwriter David Garza on guitar), with whom she shares production credits. According to a recent New Yorker profile, Apple laid the rhythmic foundation for the album by leading the ensemble around the house, where they chanted and banged on homemade percussion instruments. Comfortable though its author might be in semi-seclusion, the album arrives as a message in a bottle from one castaway to a sea full of them. You bet Fiona Apple knows what it’s like to be bouncing off the walls of your bedroom—and your skull—with too much time to second-guess every choice you’ve ever made. How lucky for listeners that her unsparing introspection possesses the alchemical power to make us feel less alone in ours.

Mountaintop sage is a role that suits her better than enfant terrible ever did. Now that the culture is catching up with her, Apple has evolved in the public imagination into a sort of folk hero—trolling powerful sexists, reaching out to other artists who struggle with mental health, donating two years’ worth of proceeds from “Criminal” to refugees. In a 2018 video, she responded to a fan’s question about whether she still believed the words she’d notoriously muttered during a photo shoot in the ’90s: “There’s no hope for women.” Apple patiently explained that she was a scared kid back then and that the music industry in particular had changed for the better in recent years. “We’re gonna be fine!” she exclaimed, shifting into encouraging-big-sister mode. “There’s always hope for women. We are hope.”

Courtesy of Epic Records

That’s not to say she’s gone full girl-power cheerleader. Bolt Cutters can be quite dark. In “For Her,” Apple executes a devastating variation on the standard “Good Morning” with nothing but sparse, hollow percussion as a net: “Well, good mornin’, good mornin’, you raped me in the same bed your daughter was born in.” Like most the album, it’s a song that calls attention to its own construction, transitioning from one sound to the next with minimal artifice. What begins as a clapping, stomping jump-rope rhyme becomes a rhythmic chant whose intonations fall at the intersection of rap and R&B, then stretches into something bluesier. Finally, the shocking “Good Morning” line gives way to a layered, angelic chorus that feels like a sonic representation of healing. The song reportedly originated from Apple’s anger over the Brett Kavanaugh hearings.

Her (mercifully non-literal) form of Trump-era rage coexists on the album with blunt dissections of her past, personality and public image. The incantatory refrain of “Relay”—“Evil is a relay sport, when the one who’s burned, turns to pass the torch”—makes for a timely indictment of our hate-poisoned political discourse but actually comes from one of Apple’s teenage notebooks. She vents her resentment at fakes, jerks, people who present their “life like a f—ing propaganda brochure.” (Never one to perform happiness she doesn’t truly feel, Apple is a conscientious objector to influencer culture.) Yet the song resolves with her finding the wisdom to break the relay’s chain: “I know if I hate you for hating me, I will have entered the endless race.”

Bolt Cutters takes a special interest in her relationships with women. Though she’s proven her feminist mettle over and over again, she has also taken more than her share of abuse from women—especially early in her career, when she was accused of giving girls eating disorders and allowing her 19-year-old self to be objectified in music videos. On “Ladies,” she repeats the title until its two syllables become meaningless, then slides into a lilting torch song for “good women, like you/Yet another woman to whom I won’t get through.” Still, Apple admits that she can be weird with, say, her exes’ new girlfriends. Amid a gentle metallic clatter, the title track opens with a plaintive, charmingly clumsy admission: “I’ve been thinking about when I was trying to be your friend—I thought it was, then, but it wasn’t—it wasn’t genuine.” Perhaps because having compassion for women also means having compassion for herself, she affords herself the same respect: “Kick me under the table all you want/I won’t shut up,” goes the sing-along chorus to “Under the Table.”

The record’s conversational tone, manifested in Apple’s talky delivery as well as in lyrics that scan as prose more often than poetry, creates a rare intimacy. And it’s echoed in compositions defined by their rough edges: hand claps; a cappella passages; sudden shifts in tempo; vocals that alternate ragged whispers, attenuated moans and bracing falsetto with her unmistakable throaty croon. Ambient sounds—the dogs barking, people talking—as well as seconds of near silence, made their way into the mix. As beautiful as the melodies and the epiphanies they carry often are, the songs are not what you would call “pretty.”

This makes the album a significant departure for an artist whose early style was defined in large part by sophisticated, bespoke arrangements created with collaborators like acclaimed producer and composer Jon Brion. Yet Bolt Cutters wouldn’t be the extraordinary experiment in aural and lyrical honesty that it is if it sounded too polished. The record is a missive from the mini-studio in Apple’s house to whatever confined space we’re stuck in these days, compelled as we are to spend a lot more time than usual in our own heads. It offers us a roadmap to understand who we are and make peace with who we have been; to take responsibility for our worst selves and protect our best ones; to come out of our ordeal stronger, wiser, but still self-critical. From Fiona’s lips to God’s ears: We’re gonna be fine.

#IFTTT #Blogger

0 notes

theseaeaglelives · 5 years

Text

Round 19

THE SEA EAGLE

MAKING RUGBY LEAGUE GREAT AGAIN!!!

Round 19

Manly Sea Eagles 11

Defeated

FWRC Melbourne Storm 10

There are few things in life more satisfying that knocking of the filthy rorters from Melbourne. One would be to beat them on their own patch at AAMI Park but to top that would be to beat them in the last 30 seconds of golden point, and that is precisely what Manly did in round 19.

Let’s face it, the Storm are to rugby league what Sun Yang is to swimming, that being previously found guilty, despised, filthy cheaters who should not be allowed to compete in their chosen sport.

The Sea Eagle also notes with bewilderment a recent interview with former Storm fullback Billy Slater in which he recalled his so called “four” premierships. Obviously, Mr Slater also believes that Ben Johnson won gold in the 100m Seoul Olympics and that Lance Armstrong won seven Tour de France’s, and such a degree of delusion can only be explained by the fact that Mr Slater once played reserve grade for North Sydney and in the Sea Eagle’s opinion, is infected by the stench of the Bear.

Taking on the filthy rorters in Melbourne was always going to be a tight affair and with this in mind, despite advice to the contrary from all and sundry in the Fox Commentary box, Manly wisely opted to take the easy 2 points on offer (from a penalty) after 10 minutes and opened their account. Manly 2-0.

Surprisingly for the remainder of the half Manly played with a degree of flair and employed an expansive brand of footy obviously aimed at taking advantage of their more mobile and skilful pack. Unfortunately, and not surprisingly the Storm defence held firm (let’s face it they are more than a step up from last week’s opponents – the Eels). Manly also had to do their share of defence and also proved up to the task, repelling the Storm attack with relative ease.

With only 3 minutes remaining in the half again despite advice to the contrary from all and sundry in the Fox Commentary box, Manly wisely opted to take the easy 2 points on offer (from a penalty). Manly 4-0. Seriously, some of these so-called Fox experts (including incumbent QLD Coach Kevin Walters, Brett Finch and Greg Alexander) need to take a good long look at themselves and should never ever go near a coaching box again. When playing against the Storm (as the second half was to prove) points are gold and no easy opportunity should ever be declined.

Not only did Manly get the two points from this penalty but after getting the ball back from the kick off (as is normally the case), they managed to fashion a try after some fine lead-up work from Brad Parker. The Sea Eagle has been singing the praises of young Parker for some time now as he continues to improve and justify the faith shown in him by Coach Hasler. Manly 10-0 at the break.

A 10-zip lead against most teams would provide some degree of comfort – but not the Storm who responded with two tries of their own. Thankfully only one was converted and with 15 minutes remaining scores were level.

It was also noted that the Storm turned down their own opportunity to take the easy two points from a penalty on more than one occasion, decisions they would ultimately come to regret.

Under the previous coaching regime, Manly would have hoisted the white flag, but not this year under Des Hasler. With their backs to the wall Manly held on to force the lottery that is golden point. Whilst there were plenty of defensive contributors, the Sea Eagle would like to single out Jake Trbojovec for special mention, after racking up an astonishing 67 tackles. Unfortunately, one of them was deemed to be lifting in nature, and young Jake could be consigned for a week-off.

The Sea Eagle has previously gone on record declaring what an abomination golden point is and this game did little to change that view. The only salvation in this instance was that Manly reigned supreme after what appeared to be an avalanche of field goal attempts. Finally, it was Cherry Baby who managed to ice one and with only seconds remaining in extra time Manly ran out 11-10 victors.

Full marks must also go to the free to air Broadcaster Channel 9 who continue to disregard Manly when allocating prime time games and, in this case, have starved viewers of what can only be described as one of the best games of the season.

Final Comment – Mark Coyne

The Sea Eagle reported last week that whilst holidaying in Singapore, Mr Coyne unleashed the following expletive laden tirade at local police officials "you are a f---ing stupid idiot", a "f---ing dickhead" and a "cock", "f---ing cock" and "f---ing dog", he also threatened to "sue you through your f---ing arse" and adding "if some f---ing stupid c--- sues me, I don’t f---ing care. Especially you". And then finally "you are f---ing crazy", "you must be f---ing embarrassed" and "you must be so f---ing proud of yourself"

This week a similar tirade was directed by the NRL Commission towards Mr Coyne, who has now done the only honourable thing and officially resigned from the NRL Board.

It was also reported in various media outlets that Mr Coyne was virtually irreplaceable on the NRL Commission. Notwithstanding, should he be required, The Sea Eagle stands ready to answer the call and fill this vacancy. In promoting his credentials for this role, the Sea Eagle would like to declare the following pertinent essential personal attributes;

The Sea Eagle knows who the Sharks are (and despises them nonetheless)

The Sea Eagle has never consumed his own urine or defecated in public, and now after Todd Carney’s efforts, fears the dreaded bubbler even if it is for a cool dink on a hot day.

The Sea Eagle knows the difference between the Newcastle Knights and the Barcelona Football Club.

The Sea Eagle understands it is wrong to have or simulate having sex with a dog or allowing said dog to lick food from the genital area.

The Sea Eagle understands it is wrong to have or simulate having shat in a shoe and then spread said shoe across a motel room in the presence of other players (or anyone else for that matter);

The Sea Eagle has a healthy disregard for all forms of rugby league officialdom, but in the main still loves the game;

The Sea Eagle will willingly criticise that which needs to be dealt with, and will state the bleeding obvious when it appears not to be obvious to those who should know better, but in the main still loves the game.

The Sea Eagle likes a drink, but knows when it is time to go home – and in that respect believes there is benefits in following the rule that nothing good happens after midnight;

And most importantly, the Sea Eagle has never played in the NRL and thus is immune to the inevitable brain explosions which plague former players.

AFL is Celebrating the Soft

Look, in the current era of me too!, one has to be careful about going too hard when the females start interfering in men’s affairs, in particular men’s sport.

Nevertheless, this one is too much too bear, noting as we do that it is an opinion piece, and therefore not based on any form of objective evidence or investigation:

My son is excited for Auskick. So he's taking ballet first Jamila Rizvi Columnist SMH: July 24, 2019 — 12.00am

My son turned four last month…

Whether via biology or brainwashing, AFL is in my son’s blood. He’s going to have a crack at the game, at least once, and I suspect he’ll enjoy it. However, I don’t want him to feel like some activities are more worthy of admiration than others.

Nor do I want his parents’ expectations or society’s gender norms dictating what will make him happy and fulfilled…...d to shortlist….

Footy, like most traditionally male-dominated sports, is making big strides when it comes to gender inclusivity. …..

Yet, when a little boy wants to be a hairdresser, an early childhood teacher, an aged care worker, or a stay-at-home-dad, his dreams aren’t generally celebrated in the same way………

Despite my lofty intentions, I admit that I was nervous about ballet. …..

While I knew Rafi would relish the opportunity to dance, I wasn’t sure how he’d react to being the only boy in class. Foreseeing potential disaster, I assembled my buddies. Two of my girlfriends have sons the same age as Rafi and they promptly jumped on the ballet train as well. There is safety in numbers. It would be a masculine insurgence at under 6’s ballet.

Jamila Rizvi. Jamila Rizvi is a columnist and former Labor adviser.

Sea Eagle Comment: Thank god this is an article about AFL. When the Eagle was a kiddie, he felt it was cool when he was taught how to tackle low and effectively, how to sidestep, draw and pass, make a break etc. and when he was given the greatest gift you can give to any young boy- i.e. how to exploit the blind side.

He also felt it was cool when the u14’s coach would say, “boys, it does not matter how big they are, just hit em low and hard and they will drop like trees”. Or “boys, they can’ run without legs” – and to then see it actually was true when put into action.

Time have changed, and in the Sea Eagle’s view in this example on ballet being an adequate preparation for AFL Auskick, not for the better.

That said, if a young fella wants to do ballet, in the Sea Eagle’s view more power to him. A very difficult activity of which there can be no doubt. Statistically the male to female ratio is also overwhelmingly in his favour, so that can’t be a bad thing if the young kid has aspirations on being a chick magnet. What is not clear is whether ballet and say rugby league, have any cross ferritization opportunities?

The Director of Controversy is looking at whether a 95kg 10-year-old Tongan could learn a thing or two by taking up ballet before embarking on a full-blown rugby league career. Also being investigated is how would say 4 or 5 said 95kg 10-year-old Tongans be received, if they chose to turn up to the local upper north shore ballet dance studio for a bit of fine tuning in the cultural stakes?

THE SEA EAGLE

0 notes

trendingnewsb · 6 years

Text

5 Crazy Recent News Stories That Didn’t Get Enough Attention

Most people read the headlines of a couple of political stories shared by their most untrustworthy friend on Facebook and feel like they’re pretty well-informed. But the daily large-scale dramas of the Trump administration, mass shootings, Russian agents being assassinated, and the world generally seeming like a montage of newscasts from a ’50s sci-fi movie have overshadowed some utterly insane news that, in a different era, would have dominated headlines for weeks.

So here are five stories that have yet to receive the proper “Wait, what the fuck?!” reaction that they deserve.

The Government Said It Has Mysterious Alloys Recovered From UFOs

Two Pulitzer-Prize-winning reporters made public some fascinating footage captured by military pilots of an unidentified flying object zipping across the skies, making sharp turns and occasionally hovering like a helicopter, and all with no visible signs of propulsion. With the internet as it is, we should’ve been drowned in stories about how “Independence Day PREDICTED THE FUTURE” or whatever.

youtube

The footage is odd, for sure. But it only makes up like 0.5 percent of the craziness within the New York Times article it came from.

Read Next

Get Your Head In The Game With This Xbox Live Gold Offer

The article says that between 2007 and 2012, there was something called the Advanced Aerospace Threat Identification Program running out of the Pentagon, where at least one employee had the X-Files theme as their ringtone and their co-workers hated them for it. Their task was to investigate mysterious aerial phenomena. While there’s a good chance they had a rubber stamp that read “It’s just another damn drone from Walmart” so they wouldn’t have to write it out all the time, the AATIP’s creator, former Senator Harry Reid, fought to secure the program’s findings, fearing that the United States would be helpless to defend itself from the technologies it discovered. That’s the kind of shit you say to justify keeping Magneto in a plastic cell underground.

Luis Elizondo, the former head of the AATIP, referenced “the many accounts from the Navy and other services of unusual aerial systems interfering with military weapon platforms and displaying beyond-next-generation capabilities.” And most of the program’s $22 million budget over five years went to an aerospace technology company owned by a billionaire named Robert Bigelow, who 100 percent believes aliens have visited earth. And that brings us to the pant-shitting part:

“Under Mr. Bigelow’s direction, the company modified buildings in Las Vegas for the storage of metal alloys and other materials that Mr. Elizondo and program contractors said had been recovered from unidentified aerial phenomena. Researchers also studied people who said they had experienced physical effects from encounters with the objects and examined them for any physiological changes.”

Ah, OK. So. WHAT THE FUCK. Is it just a rash, or a headache, or are these people District 9-ing and morphing into a new species that should be shot in the head?

Live Science tried debunking some of the article’s claims by asking scientists and professors what they thought about it. Their grand conclusion is that there is no way an alloy could be unidentified. Thanks, guys. Excellent observation. There’s no way there are things out there that we don’t know! is some shit-ass expertise. They didn’t even try explaining the claim that the alloys are physically affecting people who interact with them. And it’s hard to blame them. If I think about it for a second, my brain goes to scary places that make me want to hide under a bed and cry.

The whole article makes it seem like there are a lot of high-ranking government officials who are certain aliens are real, that they have visited us, and we should probably fear what they might try to do to us. So on a day-to-day basis, you should feel a tinge of anxiety about your career, the well-being of your children, whether democracy will hold in America, and maybe also aliens with their poisonous ship junk.

A Man Spent Years Building His Own Submarine, Then Allegedly Used It To Brutally Murder A Journalist

Every once in a while, a sensational murder case — usually involving an attractive female victim — will take over the country for months. This case is weirder than every one of those combined, and nobody cared.

Peter Madsen had been building his own 55-foot submarine for years. We even wrote about his efforts back in 2010. Kim Wall was a freelance journalist who was just another in a long line to document Peter’s impressively productive waste of time. This sounds like the start of a quirky indie film.

But it’s fuckin’ not.

She set up an interview and two-hour test ride for August 10th, 2017. After the two hours were up, Wall’s boyfriend got suspicious that he hadn’t heard from her, so he called the police. Madsen was later rescued from his sinking submarine off the southern coast of Copenhagen — without Wall. Unless your passenger reveals their true kraken form, it’s weird to return to shore with fewer people than when you left. Madsen claimed that he dropped her off onshore hours earlier, which doesn’t quite align with the fact that her torso was found at sea days later.

At a pretrial hearing a couple of weeks later, Madsen testified that he buried Wall at sea after she was killed by a blow to the head from a 155-pound submarine hatch. Ah, the classic “She was murdered by the submarine, not me” defense. This did not hold up, as forensics found that her skull had no fractures and her throat had been either cut or strangled when she died. More of her body parts started washing up, and they concluded that her limbs had been forcibly removed with a saw and stuffed into plastic bags that were weighed down with metal pipes. She had also been stabbed 15 times.

Madsen’s trial is underway, and maybe it’s not getting any attention because everybody thinks they already know who did it? If so, doesn’t the fact that a man allegedly spent years building a murder submarine specifically so he could do this seem worthy of notice? What in the hell does it take to capture the national imagination these days?

There Is Now Software That Can Put Any Real Person Into Porn Videos, Including You Or Your Mom, Or Both

The future is NOW. Sadly, it’s only for creeps who want to jerk off to fake Scarlett Johansson porn. The technology that’s making it possible is called Deepfake. It’s an AI-driven software that can swap out a person’s face in video footage with someone else’s. Sometimes it’s convincing, other times it looks like their heads are painfully phasing in and out of reality.

That’s how you get Raiders Of The Lost Ark starring Nicolas Cage:

youtube

It’s also how you ruin the joke of an SNL sketch starring Nicolas Cage:

youtube

But it’s mostly for porn. And like all pursuits popular among sad lonely men, it was very popular on Reddit. Luckily, Reddit banned the Deepfakes subreddit not long after it was created — a bold moral stance for a site that lures you in with memes and then knocks you out with a one-two punch of white supremacy and misogyny. Bans on other big platforms like Discord, Twitter, and even PornHub soon followed, even though the underlying technology still exists for free on the internet.

What’s odd is that once it was banned across multiple sites, we reverted back to a pre-Deepfakes mindset, as if we don’t all live in the prologue of a new world where Donald Trump’s rumored pee tape might surface and the mere existence of Deepfakes would be enough for his supporters to call bullshit. We might one day look back at people on a subreddit putting Taylor Swift’s face on a porn star as innocent compared to a future in which a murderer whose face was clearly captured by security footage gets off scot-free because of the plausible deniability of Deepfakes. It’s a scary future where documented proof could be brushed away with a simple “That’s not me, that’s a fake — a deep fake” *winks at camera*.

Also, it means literally every woman who posts her face to the internet will wind up in a fake porn video / sex tape at some point. So there’s that, too.

A “Swatting” Prank Finally Got Someone Killed

You know what’s a real gut-busting joke that always leaves audiences rolling in the aisles? When SWAT teams charge into innocent people’s homes with shotguns and semiautomatic rifles drawn, intent on killing someone if it means stopping a hostage situation, all based on a tip obtained from a prank phone call. My sides! The sheer terror everyone involved must feel is making me pee a little!

If you don’t think it’s funny, then you’re not one of the many teenagers who’ve performed this “prank” because they’ve yet to develop a tangible fear of how utterly screwed their lives will be if the 9-1-1 call is traced back to them. The targets tend to be Twitch streamers, since a SWAT team’s entrance can turn an Overwatch stream into the drug raid scene from Goodfellas. Dozens of celebrities have also been swatted, like Miley Cyrus, Tom Cruise, and Clint Eastwood. Many of these people were lucky to not have been killed. SWAT teams have a long, horrific history of killing innocent people and/or their dogs during raids, in case you needed a cartoonishly ghoulish detail to further turn your stomach.

In an era when the media will drum up a moral panic over everything from violent video games to eating Tide Pods, you’d think this swatting thing would have been the subject of several congressional hearings by now. Especially since in December 2017, a swatting prank ended with someone dead, like every human who’d heard of swatting knew would eventually happen. Some random guys had placed a bet on the outcome of a Call Of Duty: WWII multiplayer match. An argument broke out, and one of the participants decided to get his just desserts by having a SWAT team sent to another person’s house. You know, as one does. The target of the swatting gave a false address. It was the home of a guy named Andrew Finch.

The person who initiated the swatting hired an intermediary to do it for them, Tyler Barriss. He was essentially a swatting hitman with a reputation for calling in swats on behalf of people who don’t want to get caught doing it themselves. And his Twitter handle was “SWauTistic,” because he’s a professional who believes in discretion. Barriss called the Wichita police and reported that someone at Finch’s house had shot their own father in the head and was holding their mother hostage. When Finch answered the knock at his door, a Wichita SWAT officer immediately pulled the trigger. Finch was unarmed and nonviolent. His friends say he didn’t even play video games.

Barriss has been charged with involuntary manslaughter, giving false alarm, and interference with a law enforcement officer. Finch’s mother is suing the Wichita Police Department. And even with a cop’s itchy trigger finger, there’s no denying that if Barriss had instead called and asked if Fincher’s refrigerator was running, he would still be alive today.

Swatting has become a dangerous trend which, unlike the aforementioned Tide Pod eating, is actually happening and is actually harming people. California State Senator Ted Lieu, New Jersey State Assemblyman Paul Moriarty, and Massachusetts Congresswoman Katherine Clark have all proposed anti-swatting legislation — all three have been swatted in response.

A Scandal Involving Cops Forcing Nude Photos From A Teenage Boy Ended In Suicide

Before I get into it, just know this story deals with the sexual molestation of a minor. So it’s not going to be as rip-roaringly funny as swatting.

17-year-old Trey Sims sent a video of his penis to his 15-year-old girlfriend. In the state of Virginia, this paradoxically made him the creator and victim of child pornography. The detective assigned to the case, David E. Abbott, obtained a warrant to take pictures of Sims’ penis to match it with the penis in the video, as if the police have a dick pic database that analyzes head-to-balls distance and pubic hair density to find a perfect match. Of course, all of this is necessary, since it’s so difficult to identify a dick when it doesn’t have a tattoo or a peg leg. Why that warrant wasn’t contested from the start is a mystery.

Another mystery is why, at one point, Abbott decided to start taking pictures of Sims’ penis with his personal cellphone.

Detective Abbot deemed the pictures insufficient, because somehow Sims couldn’t get erect with cops recording him masturbating. Which they had asked him to do, you know, so the pics would match the ones he was accused of sending. Wait, who is this law supposed to protect, again? Anyway, Abbot asked for a second state-sponsored permission slip to photograph a teenager’s erect penis. Abbott also threatened to force feed Sims erectile dysfunction pills, because he was determined to get a picture of a kid’s erect penis come hell or high water, goddamn it.

It was granted, but then halted after Sims’ lawyers made a big deal about the first dick pic photo shoot in the media, claiming the police had infringed upon Sims’ Fourth Amendment rights. That’s the one that prevents the government from conducting unreasonable searches and seizures, in essence calling James Madison an idiot for not foreseeing the need to include a line about the sovereignty of teenage dicks in the Constitution.

Charges against Sims were eventually dropped after he served probation. And with that out of the way, it was time to sue Abbott. But the focal point of the lawsuit shifted from Abbott to Claiborne T. Richardson II, the guy who approved both warrants. This shift happened after Abbott shot himself in his goddamned front yard right before county police officers were going to arrest him on suspicion of molesting boys when he was a youth hockey coach. I just want to reiterate here that this story was barely a blip on the national media’s radar.

Sims’ lawsuit was thrown out when a judge said that Richardson and Abbott were immune, since the Fourth Amendment surprisingly makes no mention of cops taking pictures of a teen’s penis. Everyone up and down the chain kept coming up with creative interpretations of the law to protect a dead detective who killed himself to avoid charges of molesting a minor. The common argument was that Abbott was just following orders. But he was the one who asked for the warrant. Has your head exploded yet?

After four years of this shit, the Fourth Circuit Court sided with Sims, finally deciding that teenage penises are in fact covered by the Fourth Amendment. See? Everything is fine. Nothing to see here.

Luis’ brain feels funny after he played with unknown alloys. In the meantime, you can find him on Twitter, Tumblr, and Facebook.

A previous version of the column stated that Andrew Finch was playing Call of Duty and had been directly involved in the online argument before he was swatted. That was incorrect. The text has been changed to reflect that.

Uhhh … have a stress ball or several.

Support Cracked’s journalism with a visit to our Contribution Page. Please and thank you.

For more stories you should have heard about but probably didn’t, check out 29 Pieces Of Good News That Got Choked Out By Trump Stories and 7 Pieces Of Good News About Huge Stories (No One Told You).

Has anyone told you we’re on Facebook?

Read more: http://www.cracked.com/blog/5-crazy-recent-news-stories-that-didnt-get-enough-attention/

from Viral News HQ https://ift.tt/2IMSHGZ via Viral News HQ

#IFTTT #Viral News HQ

0 notes

wavenetinfo · 7 years

Link

For more on the heroine, pick up Entertainment Weekly’s The Ultimate Guide to Wonder Woman, featuring the cast and creators of the new film and the character’s long history, on sale now.

It’s been more than 40 years since Lynda Carter leaped into action as the most famous daughter of Paradise Island, but rarely a day goes by when the actress isn’t reminded of her superhero tour of duty. “If I’m in the airport, people will come up and just hug me because they feel like they can — and that’s the greatest,” says Carter, the singer and actress who became a tele- vision icon thanks to her starring turn as Wonder Woman. “They just want to hug because some place, some memory in their lives, I meant something to them.”

Brash and brave, fierce and fearless, Carter’s Wonder Woman meant everything to young fans who were mesmerized by her work on the hit series (which premiered on ABC in 1975 before moving to CBS for two more seasons). Her Amazon was unfailingly capable — stopping bullets cold, making liars tell the truth — and Carter embraced the role with gusto. The actress thought up the famous spin by which Diana Prince transformed into her powerful alter ego: “In the comic book, Diana Prince just left and came back as Wonder Woman. But for the show, they couldn’t figure out how I would make the change.” And she enthusiastically performed her own stunts, including one in which she was suspended from a helicopter as it flew through a canyon, all while rock- ing skin-tight satin hot pants and a bustier. Try that, superfellas. Despite hanging up her golden lasso in 1979, Carter has remained committed to Wonder Woman’s ideals of justice, equality and love, working on behalf of progressive causes with her husband of 33 years, attorney Robert Altman. “I try to inform,” says the actress, who has acknowledged that her recent guest-starring turn as the pantsuit-clad President Marsdin on the CW’s Supergirl is inspired by Hillary Clinton.

She has continued to make her voice heard in other ways too. Carter, who began her career as a vocalist, has released three studio albums — her latest collection, The Other Side of Trouble, is due this year — and she can be heard in popular video games such as the Elder Scrolls series and Fallout 4 (for the latter, she wrote and sang five original songs). “I’m always working on something new,” she says.

Nevertheless, Carter’s happy to revisit her most immediately recognizable role, the valiant, larger-than-life character whose presence figures even in some of her earliest memories.

ABC Photo Archives/ABC via Getty Images

CARTER I was very young. I had read the Wonder Woman comic books when I was a child; I was much more interested in those than I was in Betty and Veronica, even though I liked those as well. Just the whole idea of a superhero . . . I grew up in the era of women who were young and vibrant during World War II. They were doing all this work for men, and then the [men] tried to put the genie back in the bottle—and they couldn’t. My mother said, “Oh, you can do anything that you set your mind to. We women were out there in the factories and were doing all these jobs that we were always told that we couldn’t do. And when they needed us, we were right there.”

The character resonated strongly with that audience. It’s the idea of intelligence as well, inner strength. …It is about thinking much more than might. We contribute a different element to life around us than men do. When we look at countries that suppress women’s rights, I think that they are missing the point. Women have so much to offer.

That’s at the core of the character. She’s strong, she’s smart… She’s just intrinsically good. She’s about truth and people doing the right thing and not for personal gain or profit. That’s why she’s got her Lasso of Truth. “Okay, let’s just cut the bulls—. You don’t want to tell me the truth?” [Laughs] “Okay, here we go.”

You brought many of your own ideas to the character. What do you think was important for the audience to see? It was about feminism and women’s rights. [The producers] got a lot of blowback for that. But I said it’s ridiculous to dumb [Diana] down. She’s not wearing something over her face. You don’t suspend belief that [Diana and Wonder Woman are] not the same person. I wanted to make her smart.

Bettina Strauss/The CW

Even though it was packed with ridiculous moments involving brainwashed gorillas, time-travel plots and campy disco parties, the show was groundbreaking in terms of its depiction of an empowered female lead. Still, Carter was one of only a few women on-set.

CARTER There were no other women on the set besides the script supervisor and myself. The hair people were usually women, but there were no makeup women —there were makeup men. One of the things I’m most proud of is that my show [helped in the early years to promote] a stuntwomen’s association; the stunt – women’s union. [Before that,] they didn’t have women doing stunts, they had men doing stunts in wigs.

I don’t see how that would have worked. No. The hair was popping up the top, and they were very uncomfortable in tights. And their bodies [didn’t look right;] I don’t care how far away you got the camera!

Have you ever regretted accepting the role? No, no, no, no. It was a breakthrough for women on television. It was a breakthrough certainly for my career. Yes, it cast a long shadow, but it really did mold my whole career, and I’ve never regretted it. I always talk about Wonder Woman. There’s a new girl on the block now, and she will have plenty of time to talk about it.

In October 2016, to commemorate Wonder Woman’s 75th anniversary, Carter met “new girl” Gal Gadot at the United Nations as they bestowed the rank of Honorary Ambassador on the heroine. Intended to honor the character and bring attention to such issues as gender-based discrimination and violence against women and girls, the announcement did not quite go as planned; the move drew protest from opponents who criticized the decision to select a “character with an overtly sexual- ized image” for such a role. (Wonder Woman’s U.N. tenure ended in December.)

CARTER All this stuff about costumes — “Oh, it’s exploitive and blah blah blah.” Give me a break. You can’t say that the sock in the pants of Superman wasn’t. Get over it. That’s a woman’s body. We are all that. We’ve always been that, but we’re also every other shape and color and size. It’s not our problem [what we look like], it’s yours. I am a woman. This is how I look. I’m smart, and I’m this and I’m that as well.

I don’t understand the threat that women represent. We’re not a threat. We complete the whole picture. I’ve got a great father, brother, son, husband, great male friends, wonderful men in my life, and I embrace them all. Their brain goes one direction, and mine goes another. They do think differently than us. I, for one, always expect my husband to read my mind.

Dimitrios Kambouris/Getty Images

While Carter and Gadot spent time together at the U.N., they had little opportunity to discuss their mutual role. But Carter, who was outspoken about the importance of having a woman at the helm of a Wonder Woman film, did talk at length with director Patty Jenkins.

CARTER Over a period of quite a few months, we talked on the phone. It really was [about] why I thought my portrayal worked, why it lived, what my intentions were from the beginning about the charac- ter. We were so much on the same page of the interpretation of what embodies this character. [Wonder Woman is] not thinking she’s all that. She’s powerful, but…

She’s sensitive. Right.

Why do you think it took so long for this character to get a movie? They were, I think, struggling to cast it and struggling to get the story right. I think they wanted to distance it from anything I did in the past. They have gone back to more of a historical story, which I think is good.

What do you hope to see in Gal Gadot’s version of Wonder Woman? I like her. I just hope it’s successful, that’s all. I think she’s probably pretty kick-ass, and it’s a whole new way to empower women. …We’re not black or white or brown or orange or ginger hair or gray hair or short or skinny or tall or fat. We’re women, and we relate to one another in a very human, sisterly way.

I wanted to know if you were ready at any time to hand off the Lasso of Truth. Anyone can borrow it at any time.

I hope you’ll be fighting for us for many years to come. No one’s going to keep me down.

Clay Enos/Warner Bros.

29 May 2017 | 1:00 pm

Alyssa Smith

Source : EW.com

>>>Click Here To View Original Press Release>>>

(adsbygoogle = window.adsbygoogle || []).push({}); May 29, 2017 at 07:30PM

0 notes

houstonlocalus-blog · 7 years

Text

Let’s Go Skate: Tommy Guerrero

Tommy Guerrero. Photo: Claudine Gossett

In my earliest teens I had so many friends who I had no idea at the time were just a couple of years away from the end of their lives. It felt like every year I lost another friend and skateboarding was what kept me out of the troublesome things that they had all gotten into. Though my first deck was a Hosoi, the first deck I bought was a Powell Peralta Tommy Guerrero model. Watching the Bones Brigade videos and reading the mags, guys like Tommy Guerrero were the ones I could relate to the most. Skating the streets, hopping off of jump ramps, and just using curbs, ditches, and pretty much any terrain we could find, it always felt like Guerrero was the one Brigade member I wanted to emulate the most. When I reached out to him, I had no idea that I’d actually hear back. Though Guerrero literally helped shape my teens through his skating, he’s been a busy guy since that time and he never really seems to look back. Co-founder of Real Skateboards, an accomplished and critically acclaimed musician, and former art director for Krooked Skateboards — under the Deluxe Distribution brand who distributes Spitfire Wheels, Thunder and Venture Trucks, as well as Krooked, Anti Hero, and Real Skateboards — Guerrero doesn’t ever seem to slow down. It’s refreshing to see someone who just lives in the moment and who incorporates all of his past and his present into his future. Free Press Houston was more than thrilled to sit down with him and talk about all he’s done, all he does, and all he has in the works for the future.

Free Press Houston: You grew up in San Francisco where Thrasher is based, do you see San Francisco as the birthplace of street skating?

You won the first street contest as an amateur, and you and Gonz both had pro models come out in 1985, but which one came out first?

Tommy Guerrero: I don’t think San Francisco is the birthplace, but because of Thrasher being here they just reported on it more. Things are happening simultaneously throughout the world, so who’s to say where the birthplace of street skating is. We never really had a skatepark here after South Bay closed in 1980, so we just skated the streets cause’ that’s all we had. Not many people in San Francisco have backyards or at least yards big enough for a ramp, so we skated street just based off of geography and necessity. The terrain alone of San Fran made us ride street more than anything else.

Mark and I were the first to turn professional for street skating specifically, but I don’t know if his board came out before mine or not, so I don’t know who was first. But you know, Lance [Mountain], [John] Lucero, and Neil [Blender] were all skating street before us. They were just known more for vert skating.

FPH: I know you don’t really get nostalgic, but when you were doing the Bones Brigade stuff, as it was happening, did it seem as revolutionary as it became known for?

Guerrero: We weren’t conscious of it at the time, we were just skating. Thrasher and Powell got behind it so hard, which is what really pushed it. I mean, when things happen, you’re in the moment, so it didn’t seem revolutionary at all back then.

FPH: I’ve heard stories about skaters saying “Tommy bought us beers” or your (Mike) McGill smoking hash story. I know the other guys were seen as “choir boys” by some of the other skaters of the time, but you guys drank and smoked out, right?

Guerrero: No one did hard drugs, but we weren’t “choir boys” either. Mostly just beer and occasionally weed, but that’s it.

FPH: You and Jim [Thiebaud] started Real Skateboards in 1991, how big of a leap of faith was it to start your own brand back then?

Guerrero: It was huge. We had no idea what we were doing in the beginning other than to just skate and stick to what we believed in. Fausto [Vitello] and Eric Swenson gave us the money to order like our first 300 boards, or maybe it was 100, I forget. Coming from Powell, I was paid off of royalties at a dollar a deck and that was it. So coming into Real and taking a two thirds pay cut wasn’t easy, but I did it because I wanted to stay in skating for the rest of my life and it was important to do.

FPH: You guys have a pretty stellar team including possibly one of the greatest street skaters currently riding, Dennis Busenitz. I see Busenitz and you having a lot in common where you both are tying two eras together, have you ever seen that as a common thing between you two before?

Guerrero: I’ve never really seen that, but the guys today stand out in two big ways being that they’re so technical and that they’re so consistent with their tricks. Some of these guys are gnarly and effortless in how they come up with different variations of tricks. When we first learned kickflips, we figured there were about thirty different ways to do them, These guys today blow me away with how they can just keep taking things to the next level. Because so many of them came into skating so recently, their starting point is off the charts already. It only makes sense that they’d have the green light to just go nuts with it.

FPH: I know you do art direction for the brands of Deluxe, do you still do graphics work or is it just taking what the artists work on and getting it to have the overall look that you want? Who’s idea was it to do the Trump deck?

Guerrero: I was doing Krooked hands on where Mark [Gonzales] would just send me the art and I’d handle the layout and the marketing of it all with the overall look and feel of the brand. But the repetitive stress in my arms and in my hands along with being in front of the computer all day is not my place in this world. So that all took a backseat years ago, and we have a really talented team of artists today. So Jim will show me stuff and I’ll put in my two cents but that’s about it.

Jim came up with that one. He really likes to fuck with establishment.

Tommy Guerrero in Japan. Photo: Claudine Gossett

FPH: Your grandfather was a jazz musician, you and your brother had a punk band that played with Bad Brains, DOA, and more; does it feel like music has helped shape who you are in more ways than one?

Guerrero: Yeah, completely. Because skating and punk were still new back then with outcasts in both worlds. With punk you didn’t need lessons, you didn’t need to learn “Louie Louie,” and you didn’t need a past in music, you just need that DIY energy. When you’re a kid, when things are just fucked up, skating and punk back then were like saying, “fuck you” to the jocks and the people who beat you up. Because when they’d come into our world, they were the outcasts, but we were the outcasts in the everyday world. I can’t say this enough, but back then, skating was not cool. The two worlds go hand in hand because skating and music are both built off of acceptance from your friends. Music was another form of expression, and in a way, we’re all fuck ups. But when you’re with your kind, things are just better. Skaters see the world in a different way just in how we look at a red painted curb. Every one else sees it as a red curb and that’s it, but a skater sees it as fun for hours. We have seen friends die young while we grew up throwing ourselves into the ground for fun. We’re different. Not many people wanna’ fall down for a living.

FPH: Your solo work feels like my impression of who you are in everything you do. There’s a flow to it, especially on this last solo album, 2015’s Perpetual where it feels like who you are in that moment while embodying the vibe of the bay area. Is that the goal, for it to be a flowing entity that exists in that moment and time?

Guerrero: To be honest, a lot of the time I have an idea of how to approach it. On that one, I wanted to steer away from making an album in front of a computer, moving wav files around. So I bought an eight track Tascam, and worked within the limitations of what I had in front of me. The album before that one was darker and less open, so I wanted something with a sixties drum machine, a floor tom, and a surf almost desert rock guitar sound.

FPH: The most recent album, Concrete Jungle from your group with Ray [Barbee] & Chuck [Treece], Blktop Project is all improvised correct? Was that the plan from the start, to just go in and see what comes out?

Guerrero: We had a day and a half to record, because Ray is super busy, so we worked loosely on ideas and grooves. We set up in a live room of the recording studio and the foundation of the album we did like it was a rehearsal. We wrote a bunch on the spot, but that made it better I think because it was a challenge. I go back and listen to it now and there are things on it that are really great moments.

FPH: I know you just toured Japan doing solo sets and DJ sets, do you see the DJ sets becoming something you’ll start doing on the regular?

Guerrero: I’ve been spinning records for a long time now. I have a friend who has a killer record collection who lets me borrow things, and since I turned 45, I decided to only spin 45’s. I don’t use a Serrato or anything, but I wanted the tour to have a party atmosphere. So I did the solo sets with just me and some looper pedals. I wanted to spin the 45’s with a social type of gathering where I could do something different to change it up and keep it interesting for me and the crowd. Because I go there alot and I really just wanted it to be a different experience for them so I don’t wear out my welcome by coming back again and again and doing the same ol’ things. I also wanted to challenge myself by mixing it up.

FPH: How did BS with TG become a thing?

Guerrero: I’d been talking about it for a while. I love a good story, just BS ing with characters, especially skaters. I love Steve Olson, and I’ve gotten to where I can get someone to just tell me story. Originally I had planned to do it in a bar, you know how people will tell a bartender anything? That’s the look I had in mind and I had a friend who was gonna’ let me use his bar, but it was complicated so I just got a camera and Frank [Gerwer] and we just did it. He’s such a funny guy and so it made sense to use him for it. It’s hard to have consistency because all of our videographers are all out shooting skaters.

FPH: Are there dream guests for you or is it just a shoot from the hip thing on who does it?

Guerrero: Well, I’ve kind of gotten them all already. I mean getting Mark [Gonzales], everyone in the skate community knows that there’s no one else like Mark. He’s such a good guy and I’ve seen him give people the shirt off of his back before, literally. He’s so funny and he has such great stories, plus knowing for so long I’ve gotten to see him through all of the incarnations of his life. Back when he’d come to my mom’s house she’d even be like “your friend Mark is a funny guy.” I mean, I got Natas [Kaupus], the white unicorn of skating who never does interviews, Eric Dressen and Tony [Hawk], too. I’d like to get Neil [Blender] and I really wanna’ do Ed Templeton but I wanna’ go down to where he is to do it. [John] Cardiel is someone else I’d like to interview and [Geoff] Rowley just because he does what he does and just doesn’t give a fuck. I went and did that one with Matt Hensley and we didn’t really talk about Flogging Molly, so I’d like to do a second one with him. I mean, there are too many people in our history that I’d like to do but I’m unprepared. I’m so fucked and I’m not the most organized person.

FPH: You’ve lived a life under a lens, you come off as a guy who looks forwards and never backwards, but if you had the chance to go back and tell your younger self anything, what would it be?

Guerrero: Don’t be so stupid.

It’s insane and inspiring that Tommy Guerrero never seems to stop. Between recording albums, playing shows, and running a skateboard company he still has the time to live in the moment without ever looking back. You can find Real Skateboards at pretty much any professional skate shop, you can find his solo albums and work with Blktop Project in all of the digital outlets, and you can catch new episodes of BS With TG here on Youtube. While he’s not one to relish the “good ole days,” he definitely doesn’t look on all he’s done without humility and grace. Possibly one of the most humble guys you could meet, he’s definitely someone to admire as much today as he was thirty years ago.

Let’s Go Skate: Tommy Guerrero this is a repost

0 notes

elizabethrobertajones · 7 years

Text

12x13 watching notes

I’m posting this but you can pretty much watch my soul depart my body while reading so idk how entertaining it is to read because I got bored, not angry :P

Expectations? Well apparently the subplot is Dagon, who has been apparently by IMDB last time I checked cast as an asian actress, so she's going to die and that's going to be enraging (and it's Buckleming so she'll probably die of stupid, in a weird ass way) and she's hanging with Kelly and Lucifer's baby so THAT's going to be a disaster, so the subplot is already making my brain itch.

The main plot, on the other hand, I am ready to mock gleefully whichever way it comes and expect better than average Buckleming-ing because it's the MacLeods and they like them and put in extra effort. It's going to be like the true Dabb vs cars test - can he wrangle Buckleming to fix the plot hole that's existed basically the entire time I've been in fandom or will it remain hilariously open despite all this revisiting of the past and fixing, like, everything, that's been going on... Are they a law unto themselves or can they fall in line and deliver one of these Dabb-era canon reworkings that address what the fans want to see (aka, no stupid plotholes)? The plothole is SO egrarious they aaalmost pointed it out themselves in 9x21, commenting about how it was bad to keep Gavin from his proper death, but we have never seen COSMIC CONSEQUENCES from it, which are sort of a thing right now...

Though 9x21 has a whole little scene mocking fans, so idk how Buckleming feel but being nice to us is probably their last priority these days and they really do not fit in with all the other writers who are making love to the show :P

Recappy of 9x21 which I watched, like, the day before yesterday, so we're good. I do wonder if Sam and Dean not knowing the exposition of who Gavin is and what happened to him is the plothole already erasing their memories of 6x04.

Like, Crowley has to explain because even HE doesn't remember that incident, he just knows this about Gavin's ship??

Or will the recappy carry on with 6x04...

The good news is we get Sam delivering the line about Coooosmic Consequeeences again IN the recap. This automatically improves my mood.

Nah, on to "What the hell is a prince of hell" exposition without showing Gavin asking Crowley if he was one and Crowley cheekily handing him the title before regretting it and telling him not to ever mention it again, because one or the other of the 3 remaining Princes of Hell may have come for him :P

Poor Cas delivering clearly understandable exposition while bleeding into the Plaid Sofa - if the Princes keep being a thing then we're gonna see that a lot.

Oh thank fuck for Davy Perez and his clearly understandable one line exposition - Ramiel also mentioned the bun in the oven and his sister Dagon in one sentence and spared us clumsy Buckleming recapping of cobbling together a whole montage about this from various hints in the episode.

Listen I've done my rewatch up to where I joined in with fandom so I have now survived the recap of every single Buckleming episode while wryly commenting on it or watching fandom snark about it, and that's probably one of their best because it's so concise I would not have credited them

*random generic ghost death after an incredbly long time watching this lady's bedtime routine* After 12 seasons I'm pretty numb to these deaths, which makes all the suspense kind of time wasting unless it's really well done or contains really obvious hints about the plot - ah well, it wasn't offensive and minimally gross on this show's scale, so :P

Can't believe Dean doesn't sign off with "thanks babe" when talking to Cas. It would be so easy I'm actually confused when it doesn't happen.

He's out of focus but is he wearing a brand new purple shirt? Also have we seen Jensen wearing this at cons? The colour scheme is vaguely familiar but I may just be getting used to Dean wearing purple. Sam keeps swinging between blue and red (they're in the same scheme as last episode, purple and blue, here) and red and blue are the conflict colours - Dean's plaid has been suggesting unification and resolution especially given the colours he wore to talk God and Amara out of it. Purple is the natural extension of that where everything's mixed... or it's totally other symbolism of purple, but I like contrasting him and Sam, and Sam HAS been wearing red and blue at random, seeming a lot more scattered. And he's not talking to Mary.

Anyway the pattern of the plaid looks weirdly flat and 2-tone to me which is probably a commentary on the writing skills of the duo :P

Mary and Ketch are in this episode. It's starting to seem really cluttered but hey I guess they're busy working on something? Could be a random lead in to next episode.

Could be classic Buckleming Clutter.

I should stop judging but I would be worried about fitting in a ghost hunt and Crowley, Rowena and Gavin chatting, never mind throwing in a side plot, never mind not just doing basic exposition about what Kelly's up to but making it complicated with another set of main characters >.>

I do like seeing Mary though so

Poor Cas being the only one not in the episode

Yeah Mary's wearing red and blue striped plaid. Her ring is tucked into her shirt, and she's having fun killing monsters and testing the BMoL's toys with Ketch, who has been a John parallel at the very least for his completely uncompromising approach to monsters. Now it seems he's training her up, testing her to kill monsters (which in this underground carpark vibe place but a ton of dead monsters around her and the implication it's training, makes me think of 8x17 and Cas being trained to kill Dean - is Mary being made to harden up against monsters even more - including family like Cas.

I'm sure this will go very well for her.

We cut to this because Dean mentioned how maybe Mary would want to work with them. He says they haven't seen her in a while, suggesting that a great deal of time has passed since 12x12 IF that was the last time they saw each other.

(I guess we have a huuuge fan fic gap now so Dean n Cas have probably been together for a few weeks at least)

I suppose all these time skips this part of the season are because there's a baby situation going on and they want to escalate it...

I almost commented on Ketch's suit but realised I was about to compare it to Joan Watson because I did watch Elementary at some undisclosed point during these notes so far :P

His stop watch thing seems like a gimmick playing off last episode though. Mary and timing - she refused to give up the colt while Ramiel had a stopwatch countdown. Now Ketch is timing her. She feels she's on borrowed time...

I'm sure this will go well for her.

Blatant Dean reference is blatant when Mary claims she's hanging out watching pay per view and using the magic fingers. Filed under: ... do Buckleming realise how suggestive that was always meant to sound when Dean said it? Why is Mary telling Dean this. Sam always looks horrified when he catches Dean using magic fingers. THE GIFS OF HIM DOING IT.

Oh well. Buckleming.

And then Mary says she's still resting up from the Ramiel thing. Honestly, my BFF might be shipping Mary and Cas to my despair but think about Sam and Dean - their mom and BFF are constantly not around and complaining about no leads on the case, just, like, resting up...

"You're an excellent liar, Mary" It is a family thing.

Has Ketch REALLY, REALLY never been told, put 2 and 2 together or otherwise had it made clear to him that Sam and Dean don't know Mary is working with them? Sure Sam and Dean saw them help in 12x09 but there's something different between calling for help and accepting the proposal and they KNOW they'd be suspicious to work with them after Toni

(Poor Toni, character assassinated in 2 episodes by Buckleming, who are now explaining her away as a rogue operative because they made her go past a point of no return and now she's been ditched from the story... Imagine if that happened happened and she was still allowed to be around without the very well-justified reason she's now the face of the BMoL torturing Sam and Dean and can't be allowed near them. And we thought from 12x01 she had a ton of potential to be interesting and nuanced and all... Argh)

Anyway this makes it very clear they're untrustworthy to work with because of the way they have to be all unsubtle about Ketch thinking that Toni went too far when SHE thinks HE's the psycho.

"So... drink?" Oh, they're dating now I guess

Huh, Crowley. Randomly. Whyyy.

I mean, why didn't they give him an episode to be all weird and sketchy about having Lucifer in his basement while dealing with his family nonsense without SHOWING him having Lucifer in his basement? 12x12 was slick but obviously did not have time to focus on that... Following it with what should be a Crowley-related fluff family episode about Gavin being useless and dorky (I assume. I watched 9x21 too recently and I'm helplessly attached to the doofus again) and Crowley, well, we could have shown him, like Mary being sketchy about the BMoL or Cas in season 6 being sketchy about working with Crowley, just kind of... itchy about time and what he can do and generally having a load of tells something's up... Keep Lucifer out of the episode entirely and focus on Crowley's emotional state to sort of retroactively add the emotional stuff that had to be left out for time and drama last time.

Like, 12x12 was so full on, you need a REST episode after which you think Gavin's return would be perfect MacLeod fluff, and we keep Lucifer away

But nah he's here so suddenly we have to see him and see Crowley interacting with him, and all that subtle menace and whatever from the end of 12x12 evaporates because we're just leaping right in. We shouldn't have seen Crowley until whatever brings him to hang out with the rest of the MacLeods later in the episode (as I'm pretty sure we saw them doing in a promo)

Ugh. :P

Maybe I'm just being picky but I did NOT want to see Lucifer again immediately, and Crowley keeping that secret, and sure WE know he has Lucifer in his basement but no one else does so now we know Crowley's secret, tell it like he has one! Don't show us more!! LESS IS MORE

Also whenever Crowley lectures Lucifer it just reeks of hubris like this is going to blow up in Crowley's face and now it feels like it's going to Buckleming up in his face instead of the more subtle way it could have gone.

Since they're now explaining how Crowley stole a Lucifer for himself.

Maybe Rowena knows he has him but in that case you think they'd use 12x11 to hint there's more Dean doesn't remember or shouldn't remember, OR have Rowena tease him on screen that she knows stuff he'd die to know if only he knew he had to know it :P

Oh, nope, he just sabotaged it somehow. Even Rowena doesn't know.

I know I have a lot of headaches pretty much permanently but there's one that shows up in a little line just above my eye that I'm sure is tuned only to the frequency of Buckleming episodes and only shows up when I watch one.

I'm burning a candle to ward off evil spirits.

Didn't work

Just keysmashed at Mittens and went to go get another cup of tea. Buckleming... Pls. we're 5 minutes into the episode.

I mean in the interest of explaining random things that fans might complain about, explaining why Lucifer is Nick again is... I suppose... an effort...

I SUPPOSE it interests Crowley to collect everything remotely useful connected to Lucifer.

His diary for the week after Swan Song is packed.

I mean we always knew he was snooping around doing various behind the scenes things, but aside from anything else that's too much ass-pulling by saying Crowley did this Crowley did that 6-7 years ago in a row.

Not sure I can look directly at the rest of anything else that happened in the last minute of screen time :P

Lucifer snarks about how stupid this all is. Including also pointing out something that was bugging me that I wasn't going to mention, that Crowley isn't even keeping Lucifer down in Hell where he can be SOMEWHAT contained, but he's got him surface level in his usual dingy rooms.

That comment is just inserting an eye roll :P

Dean is suspicious about Mary's motives for being busy, while Sam is eager to explain it away, which I'm not even sure is flipping their positions about it or not, because Dean has been grumpy about Mary not wanting to hang out with them, but Sam was explaining THAT away too, so he mostly seems to be reacting to what Dean says in defence of Mary, which I guess may be making him less critical of her actions as he's getting to them through the filter of Dean complaining about her staying away or being weird. But of the 2 of them (while Cas has a few more reasons to be suspicious than her sons as of 12x12) Sam has more reason to seem suspicious of her because he was the one asking Mary how she was and asking Mary what SHE got them into last time.

Maybe they're both sort of suspicious but beither wants to commit.

Oh god we don't have to watch a guy die while he's peeing do we?

oh good >.> He's just going to die randomly in this creepy bathroom

Does he have no preservation instinct

Did Sam just say something about ADHD ghosts? Or was it something else and my hearing is messed up? It honestly barely makes sense in context because he was talking about how there's just a ton of haunted stuff at museums but obviously most of them don't seem to be aggressively haunted like this. (And I think it's a nice detail to assume that there's a lot of potential ghost activity at museums given they're ancient artefact-collecting places and those are the exact sort of things that might have a spirit attached.

maybe he said ancient ghosts.

Maybe I will assume he did even if it turns out to be "ADHD" when someone finds the captions for it because that makes more sense >.>

*Dean messes with some priceless artefact weapons and we cringe as he drops them and wonder if this is a metaphor for Buckleming handling canon*

Okay one small good thing: Dean remembers the detail about Gavin's ship.

Whether this is because Crowley told them or Bobby told them, I have no fucking clue but 6x04 only exists if Gavin is slam dunked back into his watery grave, so. Probably Crowley.

Anyway yay Dean's photographic memory.

I actually had to go check with Mittens and demand spoilers if this ever gets addressed and fucking hell Crowley thinks the Winchesters actually killed the Nephilim already what the fuck what the fuck WHAT THE FUCK

Fortunately on that note it's dinner time and I'm putting 7x20 on.

Oh my god Crowley thinks the Winchesters killed the Nephilim??? THEY WERE ARRESTED MOMENTS LATER

HOW DO YOU FUCK UP SO BADLY YOU PUT PLOTHOLES IN YOUR OWN WRITING FROM LITERALLY THE LAST TIME YOU WROTE FOR THIS SHOW?

Does he think Cas did it??

he maaagically knows EVERYTHING ELSE THAT HAPPENS EVER INCLUDING ANY PLOTHOLE FROM 10 YEARS AGO THEY WANT TO FILL

HOW

Why did Crowley have this conversation in the same room as Lucifer and not even try to hide what he was talking about from him?

unrelated side note: why did Crowley think Sam and Dean killed the baby?

Why did Lucifer say "Oh my dad" now the entire fandom has to stop making that joke ironically

maybe if I don't comment on this plotline at all it doesn't happen

Anyway! Sam and Dean stay at the museum overnight for some reason. Guess they really like the movies. Anyway they smuggled a Rowena in with them. I should probably just stop asking questions at this point.

Sam has also decided to stop wearing his jacket and is distractingly beefy and this is not coming lightly from me, a person who has never really objectified Sam ever except for maybe a little in season 7 when he has that hair and sideburns combo

I clearly need something to distract me here :P

Also the last scene involved a lingering close up of a lady's chest. In a coat, but still. Dodgy camerawork to accompany everything else.

*Sam casually manhandles Rowena and pfft I don't wanna ship it but yikes it's a messed up brilliant ship for Sam*

Dean has already kind of decided Rowena is OK, but Sam still has some serious issues and is also apparently grabby with her and well, 10x19 is still a thing, and... just gimme witch Sam already

Oh yep there's Dagon. Now don't die. Already killed the angel in the black vessel, so this is all going well >.>

Blah blah usual line about demons being more sympathetic than angels and Lucifer is just misunderstood. Dagon's pretty cool but she is just reciting pretty much word for word other lines about Lucifer or angels or demons that other characters have already said in more dramatic and weighty episodes.

She does seem more sympathetic about the whole Lucifer's baby thing than anyone else so far.

Also how did random angels track Kelly when Cas couldn't

Also how did Dagon track her etc

The wide shot reveals the absolutely standard boots for female characters on TV which I started noticing and getting bemused about in Person of Interest and then I realised badasses like Parker wore them in Leverage, and now I can't stop seeing the everywhere on Action Female Characters I guess because there's a certain amount of high heel where you can kick butt and still run around. They still seem really unpractical compared to wearing non-heeled shoes but I suppose they're the limit for actresses who have to wear them all day. Eh.

Anyway Dagon seems nice and they have the same taste in boots so I guess they can be BFFs now.

Oh my god we're past the midway point of the episode and finally we get to the promo scene which seemed like it had been at the start of the episode.

Nice to see this is getting the appropriate amount of emotional weight.

At least Dean's wearing his Cas plaid/plaid that looks like the sofa/TFW plaid

Sam is back in red.

GAVIIIIIIIN

I like how they said Crowley was sick to get him here... Crowley is kinda fucked over but not in that way.

Also what a gullible cookie to believe Crowley might get sick.

he doesn't know aaanything

"That's my ship!" "should've been"

YEAH GAVIN GET ON THAT SHIP

He's so sweet. "Oooh! There's Mr MacCallum(?)'s hook! Had no hand, ye see."

I feel weirdly proud of him

Oh wow I'm Rowena in this scene

Boooooring he had a girlfriend

I mean I still love and support him but I am disappointed because 9x21 had that ambiguous guy who seemed to feel right at home in Gavin's one-bed room and assumed they were hooking up with Abaddon

oh well maybe Gavin thought he was single again what with the going to America thing/things had been complicated because of this guy and they were going to America together and Gavin retroactively was already feeling reeeeeally guilty about it before this all came back to - heh - haunt him. Maybe that's why he thought he was going to Hell - he was fucking off to America with his boyfriend after dumping Fiona because he was worried to take her with him for justifiable reasons about ship safety.

SNOW

I think there was some earlier in the dark but it was boring and dark

Also hi I never see snow :P

Mr Ketch still pestering Mary for a drink. He's really into her. Goes and brings up her kids though "It might be best if you were to... disengage from them, for a bit." - dude, that's all she's done all season

Oh look and her ring's back out in plain sight. (She's also wearing a grey plaid - totally drained of colour - "nothing comes before my family"

Oh he's REALLY hitting on her now, telling her she's the best hunter he's ever seen and she might play at being mummy, but blah blah blatant Mark of Cain Dean parallels about blade in her hand blood in the air that's the real you

"The best you"

And yeah all that same paralleling about how it scares her to be a killer etc that Dean goes through

As well as the "you play at - " phrasing that was so horrible levelled at Cas in 9x22 about playing at being one of the angels.

This random museum lady has a ring on her necklace. She hasn't really done enough to be a Mary mirror?

Maybe things will change. At least for now she's just misplaced part of her exhibit because ghosts :P

Pretty sure we saw the ghost go after the white lady but honestly knowing this show I'm kind of worried for her friend

Welp it's still chasing her

Ooh yay Winchesters saved her

No time for character development. Too much going on. Gavin is already confronting his dead girlfriend

I guess this is how Gavin gets talked to go on the ship, so he can protect her >.>

They're blatantly just saying they can't burn the locket to justify sending Gavin back

I didn't watch 7x19 because I didn't want to put myself through it, but it does include a ghost having both bones and an item he's connected to aside from that he uses to move around, so I guess it's pre-existing Buckleming canon and I'm glad I remembered that without havig to relive the episode

"You don't intend to tamper with the flow of time, do ye?" Do they hear the dialogue they write? :P Gavin... literally... is here... tampering with the flow of time... Sam and Dean are just sticking up for the exact thing they've always said about putting Gavin back where Abaddon found him.

I guess Rowena is protesting because she likes him, but still... She might have found a better way to say it

Awww no Gavin is alone someone please give him a hug

Well Rowena did earlier

more hugs for Gavin... at this point all I want out of the episode. I'm still watching FOR Gavin

Hey Crowley. Popping up out of the blue with no explanation to defend Gavin some more.

This is kind of anvil heavy about someone from the past deciding to go back because they don't fit in and there are loved ones back there which is all horribly grim Mary-related stuff >.>

Though she doesn't have a "past" to return to, just Heaven, and we've had periodic opportunities for her to go back throughout the season so idk if it's maintaining the threat until the last minute like the way Dean suffered in season 11 with the temptation of Amara/the Empty that she represented, or just foreshadowing. Outside of Buckleming episodes I feel Dabb era is kind of more nuanced, but we'll see...

*stares at the emotional beats in this scene some more* honestly that could have been worse. Crowley was probably way too over-emotional about it considering he resented that he didn't want Gavin to die in 9x21... Not sure that making him cry was particularly kind to him although maybe he's learned to stop hissing in horror at feelings and never really got better, just manages it more... Anyway, his attachment to Gavin is completely hypothetical since he's ditched him in the future without a glance back except for sulking about feelings some more. Idk maybe he's been keeping a better eye on him than he has on with Winchesters or he'd fuckin' know that they were still desperately looking for Kelly.

I suppose Cas has been shouldering that one more than the Winchesters, and he'd not chat to Crowley about it all.

Hrm.

Anyway, trite emotional scene and then they take Gavin off and just leave Rowena? Even Baby looks embarassed to be in this episode. Rowena didn't even come to see Gavin off??

I'm glad their weird Latin spellbook helpfully has just the ingredients of the spell helpfully also listed in English just in case you were curious what they were/didn't remember them from last time

Eehehe the jar of angel feathers

Henry Winchester nostalgia

"and Abaddon" I'm amazed the sad music didn't record scratch

Also they're not even using the door.

"Oh this is a tough one" Aw Dean don't get too over emotional :S

*Sam notices a fly or something in the background while Dean looks all sappy about a love story*

Ugh I'll let Gavin have that. It makes no sense whatsoever how she appeared like that but okay :P They wanted to show us that I guess instead of just zapping Gavin back. Over-tell everything!!

Anyway I guess "Dabb vs cars" is now to be tagged with a strong sense of pride :P

Although also some disappointment he still has to deal with Buckleming

Also so this episode is still going on

They rewrote history

MARY

She brought food!

Terrifyingly coded food because Mom Beer and the betrayal burgers which date back to Cas in season 6

Dean is dramatic

Also they've changed clothes so this may be up to 3 months later

Oh dear, I think she's about to tell them she's hooked up with Mr Ketch in a Buckleming episode

You know my terror of them fucking this up is actually making it seem like this conversation is going better than it could have. I've only been annoyed with like two details of charactersation/silly dialogue choices so far :P

Dean's just done the despairing blink realising that family is waaaaaay more complicated than just saying they're family

Which he already knew but he has to go through it with Mary because this has been about tearing down all his notions about her and it doesn't work unless he's at least a LITTLE bit betrayed by her.

Rowena and Crowley... okay that wasn't the end of the episode.

Yay Rowena I guess :P I can't believe anyone still remembered 10x23 - we were sort of mostly pretending it didn't happen. (Also blaming Crowley for everything, not Sam even though he's the one who started it) - but Rowena remembered >.> And she rights the wrongs done against her. Always.

*random spooky end*

#12x13 #season 12 spoilers #my stuff #buckleming appropriate wank for ts #I kind of just want to go to bed now :P

45 notes · View notes

trendingnewsb · 6 years

Text

5 Crazy Recent News Stories That Didn’t Get Enough Attention

So here are five stories that have yet to receive the proper “Wait, what the fuck?!” reaction that they deserve.

The Government Said It Has Mysterious Alloys Recovered From UFOs

youtube

The footage is odd, for sure. But it only makes up like 0.5 percent of the craziness within the New York Times article it came from.