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kationella · 3 years

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To Be A Sun

This is me ranting about the symbolism of the Sun Arcana characters in Persona. Ok, thanks.

As of Persona 5, our Sun characters have been Tatsuya Suou, Akinari Kamiki, Yumi Ozawa, Ayane Matsunaga, Sho Minazuki and Toranosuke Yoshida. Unlike the Justice characters, the Suns seem to be completely different characters with no similarities. At least, at first glance.

The themes of this rant will be the following:

1. Loyalty

2. Solar Eclipse

3. Center of the Solar System

4. Supernova

5. So...

Loyalty

I will begin with a trait that the Suns have in common: Loyalty; although they don't have the same brand. Whether its loyalty for a certain person or their personal ideals, the Suns will stick by them to the end of times.

Coincidentally, this also means that it will be extremely difficult to change their mind about the object of their loyalty. Stubborness is a side effect of this.

Let's review.

Tatsuya's loyalty lies with his friends, especially Maya and Jun. The latter tried to kill him and Tatsuya forgave him the same day. Not to mention that Tatsuya stubbornly clinged at the memory of his friends even though it meant the possible destruction of Earth.

Though we meet Akinari near the end of his life, we get a glimpse of his loyalty to the protagonist in the way he was always waiting for him each Sunday afternoon and how he strived to say goodbye to the protag even after his death.

Yumi's loyalty is towards her mother, getting angry at her father on her behalf and forsaking her role in the school play to help her.

Ayane is an example of the other type of loyalty; the one dedicated to their ideals and beliefs. Even though she develops it late in her Social Link, she learns to stick by what she wants for herself.

Meanwhile, Sho and Minazuki are devoted to one another. The entire plot of P4AU is them trying to be alone together.

Old Man Tora shows the two types of loyalty. The first one towards his firm ideals and the other one towards the people he means to serve. This is what makes him the only politician I believe in.

A Sun Arcana is one of the best friends you could ever get. The ride or die type of friend. The problem with this is that, in their effort to stick by their object of loyalty, they forget to take care of themselves. It would be extremely dangerous for them to align their loyalty with a toxic person or dangerous belief. More on this later.

The Suns need to find their inner source of happiness so they can properly shine. Something no outside force can take away. And talking about external threats...

Solar Eclipse

The Suns already start with a distinct shine of their own. Something they were born with. However, when we met them there is always one external influence that blocks their sunlight.

And so, we have the Solar Eclipse effect, where a character from the Sun Arcana feels inadequate due to factors outside their control, not realizing they are perfect the way they are.

It's common for a Sun to have a certain individual related to those problems who serves as their blocker.

Whether it's some dimensional game you're a piece of (Nyarlathotep and Philemon), your parents' dispute (Yumi's father), a lost opportunity to show your worth (Original Trombone Player), experiments made on you (Ikutsuki) or a scandal you were wrongly accused of (Kuromoto).

The only one without a certain person would be Akinari, but to be fair it's hard to blame someone else for a genetic terminal illness. Ironically, his last days were spent talking with someone who had a piece of Death inside him. Who knows. Maybe if Akinari had known that Minato was related to Death itself...

Especially if we consider that almost all of the Suns had an amiable relationship with their blocker at one point or another.

Philemon was Tatsuya's guide through his journey.

Yumi felt gratitude towards her father for bringing her to the world.

Ayane did return the trombone solo to the original player.

Ikutsuki was the closest thing Sho had to a father figure.

Kuromoto was Yoshida's old mentor.

Once that blocker moved on with their fate, the Suns started to shine again. And what to do now that the heavens are their own again?

Center of the Solar System

The most basic fact about the Sun (besides the fact that it's hot) it's that it is the center of the Solar System. Every other planet rotates around them. The Sun stays firm, with a shinning light for the rest of the system.

In the same way as that, the Sun Arcana characters have the potential of becoming leaders and the protagonists of their own stories, setting an example for the rest of their acquaintances.

Tatsuya is the most obvious example. He is the main protagonist of his own game. Nothing to say that isn't already known.

Akinari writes a storybook that would become the inspiration of a new generation of children, if Nanako's love for it is anything to go by.

The whole point of theatre is to lead the audience through a story and create emotions in them through a character. Something Yumi excels at.

Ayane's Social Link is about being more selfish and grasping the opportunities presented to her.

Yoshida is the most literal example, being a politician and all.

Sho still has to find that *something* that will end up making him an example to others but he is on the way.

A fully developed Sun will be able to be a charismatic leader, who earns the loyalty of their team through kindness and generosity. Sunlight is meant to help others see the world around them, in the same way Suns will help others see their potential and own inspiration. You just can't take your eyes off them since you literally gravitate towards them.

This is the main point that separates a Sun from a Star. Those with the Star Arcana need to learn they can shine brightly for themselves, while the Suns learn that they can shine for others as well. They all start with low self-esteem, but their pride will keep developing as time goes on.

Suns have a natural talent for initiative. Through their stories we helped them realize their own potential but now its up to them to do the rest.

Supernova

As we all know, fire needs fuel to burn, but what happens when you allow your inner fire to burn you from the inside out and leave nothing behind?

You get the case of King Leo, the Reverse Sun.

So far we have only one Reverse Sun character but we can determine a lot from him. Basically, Reverse Arcanas are the "corrupt" version of their original personalities, so what happens when a Sun becomes corrupted? Well...

See, King Leo or Sudou fits all the criteria that defines a Sun.

He is extremely loyal to both Kashihara and Joker. However, this loyalty only brought him misery when both abandoned him. Sudou poured so much in them that when they disappeared, he had nothing left.

Sudou thought his Solar Eclipse was caused by Tatsuya and Maya, when in reality it came to be thanks to Nyarlathotep and his father. A life of hallucinations and misery caused by these two.

Sudou's position as an executive in the Masked Circle shows his leadership aptitude and potential to become the center of his own system.

Sudou spent so much time eclipsed that, in his desire to shine as bright as he could to break free, he ended up burning everything in his path. He literally exploded in a fiery rage and collapsed.

At that point it became mercy for Tatsuya to kill him.

His is a sad case, especially when comparing him to the other Suns and realizing his lost potential.

A similar case outside of Persona where the "Inner Fire Burns All" applies would be Azula from Avatar. Now that I think about it, she would make a good Reverse Sun Arcana... hmm.

So...

The Sun Arcana is such an interesting card. By all accounts, it symbolizes happiness and joy. A common mistake is to think these are given. No, a true Sun Arcana *fights* to achieve that happy ending. Once they reach it, their victory will be the sweetest of all.

Celestial Arcanas in general have the tendency to be a guiding light to everyone else (although some of them do it unintentionally).

There is also the matter of the writing parallels between the Suns and their Moon counterparts, but that is a theme for another time.

And now you'll ask me: "Kationella, what was the point of this analysis?"

Well, it all comes down to one question that has been plaguing me for days:

Would it be ironic for Suns to wear sunglasses?

#persona 2 #persona 3 #persona 4 #persona 5 #tatsuya suou #tatsuya sudou #akinari kamiki #yumi ozawa #ayane matsunaga #toranosuke yoshida #analysis #meta

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miyomiikonran · 5 years

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OCtober #8 p.2 - Who's your most developed OC?

Oh my, that's a question (as well as next one) that actually made me think quite a lot about my OCs, and I came to quite complicated conclusion that I simply can't choose one OC ¯\_(¬u¬)_/¯ For me it really depends on point of view. How should I even measure development? By number of universes OC exists in? Or just compare all of different versions like it were normal characters and choose the one with the most complicated/thought out story of them all? I came up to such division when I asked Ironic (@ironic-artist) who would he consider my most developed OC, after I already had my own answer ready. To my suprise, he said smth completely different than me which came from that difference in point of view, I thought about amount of universes, he thought about characters on their own.

What were the answers though? I said Takashi&Shinuo, with a bit of more of emphasis put on Takashi, who's more active when comparing the twins to themselves. Shinuo is more about thinking and planning, which often can lead to interesting outcomes and suprising decisions he makes in some universes, but Takashi's all about action, making decisions as he goes and pushing forward no matter what is happening. For example, as I said before in here, Shinuo's very likely to step out of confrontation if he thinks it may lead out to violent outcome or he'll try to put down emotions and talk things through. He often considers someone's motives and feelings first and possible reactions, which can even prevent him from interacting at all, while Takashi ditches that out completely. He reacts immidiately basing on his own judgement only or what he considers important and his stubborness often prevents him from giving up even for very long time till he reaches his goal, of course it sometimes leads him to conflict, but he's not afraid of it at all.

Both of them, as they always exists together (I can't kill my own OCs for real, even if I sometimes think about such tragic endings TuT) have TEN universes they exist in and almost half of them (4) were actually made for them and later expanded to other characters as well. Which kinda makes me want to make a chart presenting my way of thoughts when creating more AUs on their example as they're characters with most of these from all my OCs :'D Maybe tommorow I'll add such thing, but don't expect nothing high quality, I suck at drawing and I'll probably make it in paint x'D

Well, but what did Ironic said? Just to make you aware, Ironic is my ultimate soulmate-creating-OC-shitposting-buddy ever. Most of my OCs were created just because Ironic had another idea on his mind and he knows around 90% of stuff created about my OCs in last 10 years. There's literally not even one person who could be more reliable with such question ❤ And he said that such character for him would be either Circus AU Miyomi about who I talked here, or Sadao, about who I talked here, here and here. It was very suprising choice for me tbh :') While with Miyomi after thinking a minute or two I could agree, as this universe is quite widely developed and Miyomi's story continues a lot after she joins the circus, to the point where we even talked though possible bad-ends for it and created a world dedicated to it called "post-circus" which includes concept of reincarnation and soulmates. It also makes sense as developing her took me around 2-3 years before I was satistied with result and once again I included some details in her story with which I'm very familiar myself, which helped me make it more accurate. Sorry, I can't really talk about details, as Ironic wants to ilustrate it one day c: But I can summ it up as journey of a person who started from rock bottom, by pure determination and will to live turned from victim to offender, criminal, force feared by many. At first, it was just an outside appearance as she was completely closed out and stuck in her past, haunted and tied up by everything she did and lived through, not able to affect who she is or change it any way, but eventually found her way through trauma, in the end finding some peace and place for herself even in a world that seemed to forgot the meaning of kindness and forgiveness. Woah, I awakened my almost non-existent poetic sense :')

But Sadao? It kinda shocked me, because of his origins (random, only for fun kinda rp) I didn't take him seriously most of the time and often added ideas about him or his friends based just on funny sentence I or meme I found on internet >u>" But I can see why Ironic can see it like that, as despite of my wild creation process Sadao ended up as very datailed character, who evolves a lot though his story, I even consider him a type of person I would like to be myself, a definition of happy and healthy attitude. He started as egdy, misunderstood and neglected child, that through many mistakes and missteps learned how to take resposibility for another person at young age, which resulted in him becoming confident in his own abilities and made him able to stand up for himself and others. This bloomed a lot when he gained some space and free time only for himself, making him a force hard to stop once he decides he wants something- he finished school despite his past fails and got to university. He opened for new and other people which got him to reflect on everything he did to this point and make important decision about dropping out because architecture didn't make him happy. But getting to know new people, socializing and developing his relationships did and concentrating on that made him able to gain some peace of mind and eventually meet love of his life. Then all these past experiences helped him make important decisions and grow as person, gain more resposibility and finally see some value in stability. By himself he got to the point when he decided that he wants to finish his studies and create his own family, which was something he always lacked himself and that was kinda the last step he missed to really be happy and be able to say he feels whole, which when I think about it, made it all very wholesome c:

Well, this post turned out similar to some posts from last OCtober, kinda personal and more about my way of thoughts than characters themselves, but it's quite satisfying~

#oc-tober #oc tober 2019 #october #oc #original character #circus au #takashi #shinuo #miyomi #sadao

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skeletorific · 6 years

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Underfell and Swapfell Meta (aka the longest fucking post)

*You hear a distant sound of knuckles cracking. There is a shuffle, like someone sitting down and then a sound of rapid typing.

Let’s begin.

So. To start broadly:

What does it mean to “Fell” a timeline?

The original Underfell began as a simple concept: an alternative universe where “kill or be killed” was not simply Flowey’s bleak outlook, but the law of the land.

What I’m interested in dissecting here is how that law is enforced in both Fell and Swapfell, and how the societies these different enforcements styles influence the characters that populate it.

I’m going to start off with a similar origin story for the “kill or be killed” law, referring to characters by their roles rather than their names to avoid Asgore/Toriel, Frisk/Chara, etc confusion.

Essentially, both Fell and Swapfell already had worlds that were naturally more inclined to certain levels of brutality and violence, but these took a decided turn for the worst when the First Human and the Royal Heir made an attempt to break the barrier and were slaughtered by the humans living at the foot of Ebott. In a fit of grief and anger the Ruler Goat declared not only all-out war on humanity, but that until they were free of the barrier, the weak would be winnowed out of their society to ensure that when they Barrier collapsed humanity would be facing the strongest fighting force monsterkind could muster. This is the world that the Pacifist Child will eventually fall into.

This is where the timelines diverge.

I’ll start with Fell, for.....

reasons.

Asgore, regardless of universe, is inclined to make impulsive decisions, especially when under emotional duress. His Fell counterpart is no different in this. In his grief and anger he enacted the harshest forms of martial law, promising to his subjects that unless they were prepared to fight for their lives, they would not be allowed to keep them. Monsters as a society have a strong sense of communal emotion. They felt his anger as their own, and in the end, enough of them were incensed enough against humans that they were ready to follow his lead even down this darkest of paths. The few dissenting voices were soon too busy fighting off the others to rebel, and eventually were either wiped out or had adjusted to the new world order.

The first few years were pure anarchy. Monsters barely stirred outside their door, expecting to be preyed upon at any moment. Certain, more friendly and trusting subsets of monsters, like Whimsuns and Vulkins, were completely wiped out. Others, like Tems and Froggits, had their numbers severely reduced and were forced to become far more brutal. It was during this period that Toriel decided she had had enough and left for the Ruins. At first, she tried to create a safe space for monsters to retreat to, but the violence found its way into the Ruins until she eventually sealed herself off. She is disillusioned and cold, and can in fact be one of the most frightening characters in the Underground if you get on her bad side.

The anarchy wasn’t sustainable. Even if you are the biggest and the strongest monster in the area, you eventually get tired of looking over your shoulder for attackers hoping to get lucky. Anarchy transformed into Kratocracy, rule of the strong. Eventual pockets of relative order started to form around the Underground. As mentioned, Toriel held sway over the Ruins, and though she cared little what her subjects did amongst themselves, she made certain she and any of her children would be able to walk freely.

In Snowdin, Grillby was the major power player. His bar was a strictly no-weapons zone: customers feeling unsafe was bad for business. The fireman became landlord/ defacto mayor (of sorts) over the area. He was strong enough to protect clients that paid his rent (excessive though it was), and eventually, troublemakers were either killed off or contented themselves with picking off the occasional straggler in the forest. Disappearances are not looked into but a tenuous order is kept. When the skeleton brothers moved in for a while it looked like there might be a bit of turf war between Edge and Fellby. However, Red saw to it that an uneasy truce was negotiated between them. Red ensures the Grillby’s shadier activities are ignored while Edge uses his influence over the local chapter of the Royal Guard to punish troublemakers.

Despite housing the Captain of the Royal Guard, Waterfall is a pretty much the Wild West. Tem Village and Gerson’s shop are perhaps the only areas where you can afford to sleep for a few minutes and even then its like as not your wallet will be taken in the process. Undyne has too much on her plate to be concerned with being on the clock at her own house. The area is home to some of the Underground’s most brutal and aggressive monsters, as well as a hilariously out of place snail ranch, run by the one being in the Underground who literally cannot be killed. Napstablook is not a good-tempered ghost, however, and lingering near his farm is not recommended.

The Lab is Alphys’ small kingdom, and in addition to the Amalgamates that serve as her guard dogs (brutal and twisted reminders of what she can do to monsters that cross her), she also has the Captain of the Royal Guard on a hook, and Undyne will send extra protection to her for whatever reason.

Hotland is deceptively peaceful. Muffet and Mettaton duke it out in a resource batter but open warfare is ultimately detrimental to both of them. It scares off the customers. Don’t let your guard down, though. This town is not a fist to a face, but a knife in the back. Not to mention the graphic stories of what Muffet will do to you if you don’t have money for safe passage.

The road to New Home is....surprisingly unguarded. Perhaps a silent challenge from Asgore to test his mettle. Or maybe the rumors are true. The king regrets his decision and silently prays he’ll be deposed. Angry and embittered by his countless losses, and remorseful for what he’s done to the world he once swore to protect.

Ultimately Underfell is not a society with any kind of consistent ruling class. The citizens of Snowdin are more beholden to Grillby and the brothers than whatever the royals are saying. All you need to gain and keep power is to be both strong and wary. There will always be challengers, but the battle is in many ways honest. Schemers are few and far between.

The Underground also places a supreme amount of emphasis on the militarization of its citizens. Though the purpose has been muddied there is still a strong belief that the reason they are still doing this is to make sure humans will be facing off against the strongest fighting force imaginable. Strength, however toxic, is valuable. Brawn is also prized over brain. While a certain amount of cunning is always welcome academic types are regarded as highly suspect. Its hard to communicate to people perpetually in danger of being killed off that yes, your equations are definitely helping. Alphys’ predecessor was thrown into his own Core for not producing results in a timely manner, and she is forever paranoid of meeting the same fate. This is also why Red is even more reticent than his Tale counterpart about his background as a scientist. Ultimately its safer for him to be perceived as a thug than an engineer.

However, the primary theme of Undertale rings true through all the AUs. There is something at the core of these people that is good. Though they can be lead by bullies and tyrants, they have a lot of respect for courage and determination. This is how a Pacifist Human can win them over. The willingness to continue to overcome obstacles while sticking to your principles is a rare trait, but one that they find fundamentally compelling. Everyone is beginning to grow weary of the war, of the loss. Suddenly the possibility of laying down their swords doesn’t seem nearly as distasteful as it once might have.

Swapfell is a very different story.

Now, buckle up kids, Toriel dissertation time.

The canon on Toriel is very....nebulous at best. Honestly this probably stems in part from the fact that most aus are built from a single character up, and this character is more often than not a Sans or a Papyrus. Its also probably a result of Toriel not being a particularly popular character for lengthy character dissertations and examination in the way Alphys or Papyrus is. Most people tend to leave it at goat mom, so the shuffle of Toriel through aus tends to be very.....flexible.

This isn’t to shit on any particular version of Toriel. We’re all making this shit up as we go along with aus and people are free to like what they like and make what they make. However, for me, what I prefer to do with aus is boil an Undertale character down to an essential flaw and an essential strength and try to preserve that across aus. For Sans, its resignation and perceptiveness. For Papyrus, its lack of self confidence and loyalty.

For Toriel, the two things I tend to preserve for her is this. Her essential flaw is stubborness, especially as relates to her stringent ethics. What she prioritizes may shift a bit. I think the Swap generally leads her to prioritize the freedom of her people over the lives of individual humans. But what is unchanging is her unwavering dedication to them. Regardless of who she has to cut out of her life, she will dedicate her all to those ethics. And her greatest strength is her maternal nature: she has a strong desire to bring out the best in people she cares about, and will tend to nurture them whether they like it or not.

Now, a Fell version would twist this a bit. No matter how I looked at it I couldn’t see any version of Toriel making the impulse choice to enact kill or be killed. No matter how brutal the world that’s quite a leap to make, and I never see Toriel as a person inclined to rashness.

So rather than a royal edict, I believe kill or be killed was less the law of the land, and more an ethos that slipped in. Swapfell Toriel is a gifted manipulator. Her maternal nature and her known attachments to everyone Underground meant she would be trusted. So when she began her work, it never occurred to anyone to distrust her.

Toriel’s resentment didn’t only fester towards humankind (though that certainly was a part of it). In a way she came to resent the world around her. How they were all chasing a dream that many of them would likely never see the end of. They grew and overtime came to forget her children as they looked towards the stars and prayed to be rejoined to them. As much as she wished the children had never gone, at least they had gotten up to do something. At least they had acted. Would any of these monsters have the courage to?

So Toriel did what any good mother would do when she saw her child sitting listless. She gave them a little push.

Rivalries were exacerbated by her playing back and forth between them. She encouraged Gaster, then Alphys to employ harsher tactics on lower criminals, arguing that consistent parasites would hurt the Underground more and more in the long run. At the same time, she pulled them back from larger conspiracies unless it was too big to ignore, creating an environment that proliferated backstabbing and theft. Her favor was never guaranteed with any of them, and she changed her minds on decisions that her courtiers feared that her mind had been taken in her grief, which earned her the moniker “The Mad Queen”. If she’s crazy, though, its like a fox.

Kill or be killed did become the law of the land, in practice if not indeed. The understanding was that anything goes, as long as you’re not stupid enough to caught. However, rather than kratocracy (rule of the strong), swapfell is more oligarchy (rule of a few). Those who already had previous access to resources and enough ruthlessness to survive quickly rose to the top.

Grillby and Napstaton continually battle for supremacy over Hotland and are the primary resource providers for the entire region. Their employees have the highest mortality rate of the entire Underground, but the pay is also unspeakably good. And given that both of them charge heavy protection fees to anyone unlucky enough to live in that area, many are willing to weather the risks.

Undyne runs her own roost in the lab but it largely content to remain unbothered by the outside world. There are rumors of her kidnapping monsters that get too close and....modifying them, but she’d argue that she’s doing them a favor by making them stronger.

Alphys’ extreme anxiety is more understandable than ever. Her job as Captain of the Royal Guard has rapidly transformed from keeper of justice to keeper of power. She has to keep those in Toriel’s favor happy, even if they’re intentions are unjust. This has lowered popular opinion of her quite a bit, and many regard her as merely a lapdog with a hammer. It gnaws at her, as she still has a profound loyalty to her people, and when she can she’ll often try to get around her orders, but in general she tends to lock herself away to hide from the shame.

Muffet is not quite the powerhouse in Snowdin as Fellby is in his version, given that she prefers to keep to herself. Still, her bar is a well known front for most of the dirty deeds done in the region. She’ll keep your secrets, for a price, and has her fingers in the pies of pretty much everything going on Underground. She’s not as cold-blooded as she’d like to appear. Ultimately if you’re down on your luck she simply sends you on your way and doesn’t bother with you. But never, EVER, cut her out of a deal. Her pet is a hungry beast.

The bros I’ve gone into lengthy detail elsewhere, so I won’t deal with it much here, but they work in alliance with Muffet and try to keep their fingers on the pulse of the town.

Asgore left Toriel once he began to understand that her newfound hobby of pitting their people against each other wasn’t going to change. He had no larger goal in mind. His mind and heart were tired, and he simply wanted to spend his days in peace, nurturing his flowers and speaking to no one as he lived with his grief. However, the monsters of the Ruins have grown wicked with their years of isolation, and he is forced to resort to brutal techniques to stay alive. His trident is never far from him, and as we all know, daffodils can be highly toxic when pushed down one’s throat. Always keep an eye on his tea.

The Swapfell monsters are hands down the hardest to redeem out of the main four aus, but like Fell they have their softer points. In a world predicated on relationships most of them are naturally inclined to quite a bit of loyalty. Friendship is a risky business, but almost all of them have a person they would sacrifice anything for without question. For the bros its each other. For Alphys, Undyne. For Grillby, Fuku. You see how it goes. Getting in good with one will ensure that the other is more likely to go easier on you. They also have an inherent respect for craftiness. Where Underfell monsters will mock and despise you for dodging attacks and running away, Swapfell monsters have an appreciation for a tactical retreat and may even praise you for avoiding getting a scratch on you the entire battle. Ultimately, they’re all tired of this long dark period, and would welcome the opportunity for peace, for no longer looking over their shoulder. The Human only has to convince them to admit that to themselves.

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love-chocolate-forever · 7 years

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Music is my inspiration

So for the last hour and a half, I've been working on getting notes right so that I can record an instrumental version of my song Yesterday so I can sing along to it with music. I also would love to make a video for the song and put it on YouTube as well, since it is the song closest to my heart. This song means a lot to me; it's about a close friend who moved away, and I would like to think that he'd be proud of me and tell me to keep up the good work. Not saying I'm gonna be famous or that I'm great at singing or writing songs, just that it's my passion and I would love for others to experience what I have felt. If I ever do manage to get the notes right (which I will due to my dedication plus stubborness), I will be sure to share the song with you. Until then, I'd like to thank anyone who is reading this as well as all my musical inspirations for all the hope and determination they've placed inside my heart with their songs. These people include, but are not limited to, Ed Sheeran, Taylor Swift, Christina Perri, Charlie McDonnell, Mandisa, for King & Country, my youth leaders, closest friends, and family. I couldn't have gotten to where I am without these people, and I pray that I make them proud with my music. Hoping to get this song recorded and uploaded soon!

#music #inspiration #yesterday #ed sheeran #taylor swift #christina perri #charlie mcdonnell #for king and country #mandisa #friends #family #youth leaders #songwriting

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wrath-and-regret-blog · 7 years

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VERY LONG CHARACTER SURVEY. ( FOR KALADIN )

RULES. repost; do not reblog! tag 10! good luck!

TAGGED BY: @luck-crowned

TAGGING: You.

BASICS.

FULL NAME: Kaladin “Stormblessed”

NICKNAME/S: ‘Stormblessed’ (for his ‘luck’), ‘Kal’ (A nickname he used when he was younger, mostly by Tien, because his full name sounded like the name of a lighteyes and it set him apart from the other children even more.), ‘Bridgeboy’ (Adolin only)

AGE: 20 (Rosharan years)/approximately 22 (Earth equivalent) [as of the end of WoR]

BIRTHDAY: sometime in the year 1154

ETHNIC GROUP: Alethi

NATIONALITY: Alethi

LANGUAGE/S: Alethi

SEXUAL ORIENTATION: Demisexual, completely oblivious. He’s sO STUPID WHEN IT COMES TO FEELINGS/ATTRACTION, SO STUPID WHAT DO I DO WITH THIS BOY???

ROMANTIC ORIENTATION: Same as above. Trust is extremely important in both of these situations. Trust is everything when dealing with Kaladin in any situation, but especially in romantic/ sexual ones.

RELATIONSHIP STATUS: [verse dependent] He’s single in most verses, but there is a lovely, wonderful verse in which he and Adolin are a thing.

CLASS: 2nd nahn by birth (2nd highest darkeyed rank), sas nahn after being branded a slave, 4th dahn militarily (a rank, usually for lighteyes, for those who command a battalion and/or those who are shardbearers. Granted to him from his rank as captain and officially after becoming a shardbearer.

HOMETOWN / AREA: Raised in the town of Hearthstone, within Sadeas’ Princedom in Alethkar.

CURRENT HOME: Verse dependant, but mostly, The Shattered Plains, in Dalinar Kholin’s warcamp after being made captain.

PROFESSION: A soldier, a captain, a radiant, a bridgeman, a surgeon, it really depends on who you ask, but if you ask him, he’ll maintain that he is all of these things and he always will be. Those pieces make up who he has become. He’s never just one of them without the others.

PHYSICAL.

HAIR: long, thick curls of deep Alethi black. Soft to the touch but easily tangled or otherwise disheviled. usually pulled back into a tail and tied in place with a black chord. His bangs are long enough to almost completely cover the slave brands on his forehead. Looks lovely when washed and brushed properly. (would also look very nice with sapphires in it. *Side-eyes Jay*)

EYES: Originally a dark, warm brown with flecks of hazel throughout the iris. Unnoticable from a distance but clear to see up close. When accessing his Radiant abilities, his eyes blaze a bright, piercing azure and remain that color until some time after his stormlight has been exhausted. They then begin to fade back to their natural color unless fed more stormlight. Almond-shaped eyes with an epicanthic fold, thick dark eyelashes, and lines from years of exhaustion and grief that tend to offset how young he really is. His eyes are often lined in kohl, like many Alethi soldiers stationed on the Plains.

NOSE: A rather straight nose with a pointed tip. The bridge is more of a slope than a bump and most of his facial freckles are concentrated across it, spreading from cheek to cheek in a dense constellation of dark flecks on his skin.

FACE: An angular, square face-shape with a strong chin and jaw. has been referred to as a ‘leader’s face’. Absolutely covered in freckles, as is the rest of his body. Usually all hard lines and sharp angles but can sometimes soften when looking upon someone he cares about. His eyes are his most expressive feature.

LIPS: Full, somewhere between rough and soft, warm to the touch, and coated with a light sprinkling of his freckles. They aren’t as dark on the thinner skin, but they are still there.

COMPLEXION: A dark brown Alethi tan. Darker than most Alethi, due to all his time spent in the sun. Freckles everywhere. Everywhere.

BLEMISHES: Many scars, most notably some very large ones on his chest and shoulders from his time running bridges. Also, plenty on his back from his time as a slave. Then, of course, there are the brands on his forehead.

TATTOOS: None

HEIGHT: 6’9″

WEIGHT: I’m so terrible at these??? How much does a muscular yet kinda beanpolish 6′9″ man weight???

BUILD: Veeeery tall. Long powerful legs leading up to pronounced hipbones. Solid abdominal muscles set into a flat stomach. A strong chest attatched to broad shoulders. All in all, he’s lean muscle and hard lines, like he’s been carved from the stone itself.

ALLERGIES: Nothing native to Roshar, but most likely MANY things from other worlds. Since they don’t exist on Roshar, his body hasn’t been designed to handle them.

USUAL HAIRSTYLE: As Guard Captain, he keeps his long hair tied into a high ponytail and keeps his face clean-shaven. As a bridgman, he kept it in a low ponytail and eventually shaved the beard he’d grown as a slave.

USUAL EXPRESSION: Usually stern and serious. Often with a mouth set into a grim frown or a hard-edged look of determination in his eyes. Regardless, he usually sports a stoic expression or one of gloom. Occassionally, on a magically slim chance, he’ll smile and it is truly radiant.

USUAL CLOTHING: His Cobalt Guard Captain’s uniform.

PSYCHOLOGY.

FEAR/S: failure; powerlessness; watching those he loves die while he’s too weak to help

ASPIRATION/S: To protect everyone that he possibly can. To live the kind of life that Tien would have been proud of.

POSITIVE TRAITS: Protective; Dedicated; Willing to give his all for someone; A natural leader; Caring, loving; Driven to do what is right

NEGATIVE TRAITS: Reckless, does not value his own life, unable to accept that he can’t save everyone, prone to deep despair, fAR TOO GENTLE-HEARTED FOR WAR WHY IS HE A SOLDIER SANDERSON WHY DID YOU DO THIS TO HIM

MBTI: INFJ - The Advocate

ENNEAGRAM: Type 6 - The Loyalist

ZODIAC: Scorpio (sun) - Cancer (moon)

TAROT: Strength. Absolutely Strength.

TEMPERAMENT: Melancholic

SOUL TYPE/S: On the quiz it’s Caregiver, almost tied with Leader. Off the quiz, I’d say Warrior

ANIMAL: He got Wild Dog on the test

VICE/S: Despair, apathy, and a tendency to believe himself to be cursed, all of which make up a mindset he refers to as ‘The Wretch’. This mindset has driven him to nearly attempt suicide. He also gets attached to people far too easily.

FAITH: Agnostic. Though raised in a Vorin society, he, himself, is uninterested.

GHOSTS?: He doesn’t believe in them, per say, but at times, he’s considered the possibility.

AFTERLIFE?: He wonders sometimes, hoping that if his loved ones are in some kind of life after death, that they’re happy.

REINCARNATION?: No

ALIENS?: He’d merely shrug. “Anything is possible, for all I know,” He’d say.

POLITICAL ALIGNMENT: As it stands, the Kholins have his loyalty. He stands with them, so long as it is right.

ECONOMIC PREFERENCE: He’s very good at budgeting himself, knowing how much to spend on the supplies he needs and how much to keep on hand. Frivilous buying does not exist for Kaladin. He’s never been in the financial position where that would be appropriate, and now, he uses spheres more for Stormlight than for money.

SOCIOPOLITICAL POSITION: Having suffered at the hands of the lighteyes for all his life, ( his family torn apart; his loved ones murdered; being enslaved; his trust broken again and again, ) he finds it difficult to see beyond his experience. He has a deep distrust of the lighteyes, including the Kholin’s, before Dalinar bought his freedom with his shardblade. Now, he’s fiercely loyal to them; though he knows they aren’t all innocent, he still sees the good in them and chooses to protect them.

EDUCATION LEVEL: Somewhat high for a darkeyes, having learned from his father for the most part. It was mostly medical education, not necessarily academic in general. But, as an apprentice surgeon, he learned his trade well.

FAMILY.

FATHER: Lirin - (A surgeon who risked it all to try and give me a better life...which I threw away any chance of. His words still reach me, even now)

MOTHER: Hesina - ( The best mother I could have asked for. She gave me my stubborness...and my hair. I’ll never forgive myself for failing her. )

EXTENDED FAMILY: Tien ( Where can I even begin? My brother...my dearest friend. The only one who could ever lift my mood as easily as smiling. You were smiling then, the last time I saw you. I told you that I would protect you for those four years and then bring you home...I couldn’t even do it for four months. I’m so sorry...I miss you every day. Every day that passes, something happens that I wish I could tell you about. I’ve seen so many rocks out here, Tien...I think you would have liked them. Without you here, they all just look the same to me. )

SIGNIFICANT OTHER(S): None, currently.

NAME MEANING/S: “Kaladin” means “born unto eternity”.

HISTORICAL CONNECTION: I mean, he’s a Radient? That’s a pretty big historical connection.

FAVORITES.

BOOK: He doesn’t read and doesn’t hold much interest in being read to.

MOVIE: Honestly, in his modern verse, he doesn’t even own a tv? The only movies he’d ever see would be at someone else’s house or if someone took him to the movies. He’d enjoy action movies with well coreographed fight scenes and the occassional Drama if it’s good.

DEITY: He got Poseidon. Since he’s called the ‘Stormbringer’, I can see why. Qualities listed are: Pride, loyalty, devotion, reason, leadership, humor, unpredictability, rage

MONTH: No preference.

SEASON: Spring or Autumn

PLACE: Oh. Umm....he really hasn’t...got one? Not a specific place anyway. If he had to choose. He’d say his favorite place is around the fire with Bridge 4.

WEATHER: not overwhelmingly sunny, but also not storming? Kind of overcast and chilly, though he hates the constant drizzle of the Weeping. He likes windy days the best.

SOUND: He likes the sound of the wind, whether it’s blustering hard or it’s just a faint breeze. Everything it does makes a different sound. He likes the sound it makes when it whistles through the trees or when it rustles his hair.

SCENT/S: He didn’t have one for a very long time, but now, he’s grown attached to the smell of the stew that Rock cooks for dinner.

TASTE/S: He’ll eat pretty much anything he can get, because he hasn’t kicked the mentality of ‘this might be my only meal today’ yet. He doesn’t think he ever really will. But anything eaten with his loved ones tastes much better than if he eats it alone.

FEEL/S: the weight of a spear in his hands; that surging, freeing energy that whirls and rages within him when he inhales stormlight; The feeling of having a clean-shaven face; the heavy fabric of his uniform; the Kholin cloak that was given to him after that final bridgerun.

ANIMAL/S: He enjoys skyeels, from a distance, and thinks that axehounds are...alright. He doesn’t trust horses at all. All in all, he isn’t very good with animals.

NUMBER: I have noooo idea...

COLOR: He likes blues and other cooler colors the best. Officially can’t stand the color brown, thanks to his time running bridges. Everything was brown.

EXTRA.

TALENTS: He’s excellent with a spear and is also an inspiring leader. He is able to command attention and respect by leading through example. He’s quite graceful as well, and could possibly be a good dancer if he wanted to learn. However, without any knowledge of how to dance, he just sticks to spear kata.

BAD AT: Knowing when to care and when to accept that nothing can be done. ( HE CARES TOO MUCH. ) Taking care of himself, expressing his feelings, letting go of his past.

TURN-ONS: Trust, understanding, respect, passion, confidence (Also arrogance? for some reason?), being valued

TURN-OFFS: Degradation, being told he’s ‘not worth it’, classist Alethi bullshit, selfishness

HOBBIES: Training (Himself and his men), spending time with Syl and his bridge crew. He’s really not much for hobbies but he does enjoy climbing up to high places.

TROPES: Broken Ace, The Captain, Chronic Hero Syndrome, Combat Medic, Driven to Suicide (almost), Failure Knight, Guardian Angel, Honor Before Reason, Survivor Guilt, Gravity Master, Handicapped Badass (Mentally rather than physically, since he suffers from severe clinical depression, even before developing his survivor’s guilt.)

AESTHETIC TAGS: ;Aesthetic ( KALADIN )

#;Muse ( KALADIN )#I DID IT.#TWO DOWN ONE TO GO

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hello-dr-freeman · 3 years

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📓

WOOOOO!!! On a spur of the moment one night because I started playing it I had the idea for a Death Stranding HLVRAI au and I think its super cool!!!!

I havent got much in terms of plot nor knowledge since i havent progressed too far in the game but I adore it and it's crazy concepts so far and this is mostly a self-indulgence kind of thing. HOWEVER I have all the basic roles for each of the characters and if anyone knows about the Death Stranding plot then you might be able to roughly figure out how the story will progress.

I started working on some character designs and profiles as I work through planning the story but if you're interested, here are all the character's rough descriptions:

Gordon Freeman - A courier with level 1 DOOMS who is known for his tenacity and stubborness determination in his quest to deliver packages. Has a bridge baby he's attached to and has shown symptoms of chiralium exposure which causes his one track mind easy to frustrate nature.

Benr(e)y Benrey Benry - A friend of Tommy's and a high level DOOMS sufferer and Repatriate. A freelance courier affiliated with Coolatta Industries and is well known throughout the country to be a harbringer of misfortune.

Tommy Coolatta - Heir to Coolatta Industries and a mid-level DOOMS sufferer. Is dedicated to his work and has taken over his father's role in the company after his death despite rumors circulating that he's still alive.

Harold Coomer - Just a really jacked dude without DOOMS symptoms but has symptoms of low level chialium exposure. Very well-known as a capable courier who can bulk-deliver like no other but don't be dissapointed if your fragile packages end up worse for wear.

Bubby - A DOOMS sufferer of unknown level with a past he keeps very close to his chest. Works alongside Darnold in taking care of various bridge babies in circulation for Coolatta Industries.

Darnold Pepper - A scientist who works on taking care of bridge babies for Coolatta Industries and does not show any symptoms of DOOMs or chiralium exposure. Spends most of his time within a Coolatta Industries base researching and assisting Tommy in his various goals.

Forzen - A MULE and ex-courier who causes problems on purpose. Used to be friends with Benrey during his time as a courier but hanging around each other a lot exposed Forzen to a lot of chiralium and subsequently ended up with a significant amount of chiralium exposure that causes his strange obsessions.

Mr. Coolatta - The CEO of Coolatta Industries and President of America before his death. No one knows where he is or if he is even alive but Tommy has taken up his mantle and has become dedicated to searching for him and what seems to be a secret mission laid bare only for his son.

#hlvrai #death stranding #look i am OBSESSED with this idea and i really need to play more of the game to be able to fully realise my ideas #I'm still open to more of these it's really fun

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atamascolily · 6 years

Text

A Natural History of Tatooine, part 18/?

Back to the past. Cray and Nichos's memorial service is emotional for everyone.

(Previous installments)

The ritual began at sunset, after the day's work and lessons were over and the guests had finished their dinner. Kyp summoned the students to the Great Temple when he slammed a wooden mallet against the han--a board suspended in the air by two thick durasteel chains outside the entrance-- in a series in a complex pattern. Dressed in formal robes, they trickled in pairs and trios past him into the meditation hall. Mara had arranged cushions in a circle on the dark cold stone at the center of the room, and directed everyone to their seats as they filed into the doorway.

Seating was roughly by seniority. Luke sat in his usual seat in front of the altar, Mara on his right and Callista at his left. Aerial and the four other new students were on Callista's left all the way to Kam, Tionne and Corran on Mara's right. Callista's position, like her presence at the Academy, occupied an odd grey area: neither full apprentice nor guest, a part of the community and yet separate from it. It was an improvisation, and Luke hoped, a temporary one.

This was only the second memorial service they'd ever done-- the first was after Gantoris's death at Exar Kun's hand a year earlier. They were still working on the ritual, but he hoped it wasn't a rite they'd have to perform often. Yet with three deaths in two years, it felt necessary in order to stabilize the fledgling and fragile community in their grief and provide an outlet for emotions that could fester if kept hidden.

When everyone had arrived and it was time for the ceremony to begin, Kyp finished his hammering and came into the hall to join them. The only sound was the loud grating of stone on stone as he closed the door behind him, and the soft padding of his bare feet against the floor. He settled himself gracefully onto his cushion next to Cilghal with a practiced flare, releasing the ties that kept the long curves of his sleeves out of his way.

They sat together in the circle facing each other for a long time to let their minds settle and steady. Luke felt Callista, still unused to physical embodiment, shift slightly, though her mind was calm; Mara was still and silent on his right, her expression unreadable.

Luke wished he'd had time for a soak in the hot springs before the ceremony, but there hadn't been time. He let go of his responsibilities and concerns, and let himself fall clear and open in the silence, surrounded by the familiar presences around him. He was tired and sore and aching, and he was--awake and present and clear as he grounded himself in the present moment and his stories dropped away.

He opened his eyes, gazed for a moment at the people in the circle. They were all family, of sorts, though a very differt family than that of blood and birth, or the tighter, deeper bonds he shared with Han and Leia. Even though they dressed more or less alike, their individual personalities shone through in their posture and the way they carried themselves. There was Kirana Ti, fierce and proud, her back straight and her head high; there was Streen, who slumped when his concentration slipped; there was Cilghal, calm and placid; there was Kyp, his bright adamantine energy channeled and tempered with newfound maturity under Mara's tutelage. Dorsk 81, Kam, Tionne, Corran, Mara, Callista--each one of them a shining star in the expanding and shifting constellation of the New Jedi Order.

Even the new students radiated very different energies from each other: Aerial the Rodian, timid and shy, crouching down next to Wedan, the Chadra-Fan, confused and concerned; G'ata the Bith, who blinked her large eyes as if she wasn't sure what would happen next. None of them had known Cray and Nichos for very long, and Luke feared it was not an auspicious beginning to their time at the Jedi Temple, yet it couldn't be helped. To be a Jedi required an acceptance of death, both of oneself and of others, rather than turning away in avoidance.

As with Gantoris, Luke spoke first. He told them of Cray and Nichos's arrival at the Academy, of the pride in Nichos's face when he spoke of his lover--The most brilliant AI programmer at the Magrody Institute—and strong in the Force as well, he'd claimed, and he had not exaggerated. The two of them had breezed through the preliminary exercises with ease, damp with sweat and laughing in the Yavin heat as they trained side-by-side, and Luke's joy at their joy, his delight in their stability and even temper and good sense, and their ability to balance each other's weak points.

He spoke of their love for each other, of Cray's determination to save Nichos when he was diagnosed with fatal Quannot’s Syndrome, how she wedded her skills with cybernetics and the Force to create a new body for him; of Nichos's incredible courage to detach from his failing body and his skill to inhabit his new home, though he lost his own Force skills in the process.

Luke saw Callista frown at this, but it was too late to take the words back. Hurriedly, he changed the subject to safer ground: his decision to accompany Cray and Nichos on their first errantry to Ithor, the mysterious signal they had detected in the Moonflower Nebula, his decision to investigate.

"It was my decision, and they agreed to come with me," he said, meeting the eyes of every being around the circle in turn. "I take full responsibility for what happened next."

He told them of their ship being shot out of the sky by a hidden foe; their crash-landing on a nearby planet, and their conscription into the Eye of Palpatine, with its automated, insane computer guidance system bent on carrying out a pre-programmed mission of destruction as a result of Irek Ismaren's summons. He told them of Cray's capture at the hands of indoctrinated Gamorreans; of Nichos's helplessness in his new droid body; of meeting Callista's spirit in the ship's core.

He glossed over Cray's torture, and her outrage at Nichos's inability to help her when she cried to him for help. Nor did he discuss his own private conversations with Callista, the dreams that were more than dreams, and his own fantasies of preserving the ship in some fashion to save her life. Instead, he spoke of Nichos's decision to sacrifice himself to destroy the Eye of Palpatine and prevent a holocaust--and Cray's decision to surrender her body to Callista's spirit so she could follow her lover into death.

"They tricked me," he admitted sheepishly to his students, to his colleagues, to his friends. "I would never have agreed to it otherwise. They ambushed me and dumped me in an escape pod and I woke up too far away and too late to stop them.

"It was their choice and I honor it--and yet a part of me wishes that I had died in their place. I would not be here before you without their sacrifice, their bravery, their courage, their dedication, and their love. And neither would Callista."

He nodded in her direction, saw her biting her lip to keep herself from sobbing as he spoke, put his hand on hers, knowing that everyone saw him do it.

"We owe them both our lives, and I honor them for it. Though they were on their first errantry, I considered them to be Jedi Knights in all but name even before we set out for Ithor, and their actions on the Eye of Palpatine proved it. I don't have to wish for the Force to be with them, because I know that it is, and they are now a part of it forever and always."

He took a deep breath. "A Jedi's life isn't easy. Any of you may be called upon one day to make the same choice they did, and that isn't easy knowledge for me to bear. Yet Cray and Nichos died as they lived--and they lived fully. That, at least, I can take comfort it.

"But I miss them," he whispered. "I miss them so much."

Silence in the hall as all eyes were on him. There was one thing left to say, the one phrase to end his part in this.

"Cray Mingla and Nichos Marr--may the Force be with you. Always."

Callista, sitting on Luke's left, ought to have spoken next, but he sidestepped her and gestured to Aerial to speak. Stuttering and stammering at the attention, Aerial did her best to comply.

As he'd expected, the new students had barely known Cray or Nichos, but their stories, though brief, were moving. They spoke of their awe at Cray's skill with the Force, their envy at her ease, their gratitude at small kindnesses--directions to the meditation hall, a suggestion to shift posture at just the right moment, a helping hand in moments of frustration and need. Luke learned that even after his droid-conversion, Nichos had been a steadying presence in the meditation hall, and that Cray had helped G'ata build some eye protection to help her handle the Yavin sun. Small things, yes, and yet so meaningful to those who received them.

Then he moved to the older students, who had known Cray and Nichos longer. Patterns began to emerge, as threads connected. Nichos: young, handsome, kind, inspiring, clever, even-tempered, passionately in love with Cray. Cray: persistent, armed with a determination that bordered on stubborness at the wrong moments, devoted, dedicated, fantastically brilliant in her chosen field; beautiful, but unaware of it, and unafraid to get her hands dirty. Each story ended with the same wish: "May the Force be with you, always."

By the time they got to Tionne, everyone was weeping more or less openly. Even Mara looked teary, though Luke suspected she'd deny it if he asked her about it later.

"Cray was a dear friend," Tionne began. "So kind. So beautiful. So talented. I was--so jealous of her at first, but she never looked down on me, never treated me as less worthy because she was stronger than I was in the Force. We stayed up together and talked and talked--and I will never forget those long nights during Nichos's illness, where I begged her to rest and take care of herself and she refused, so desperate was she to find a cure. I thought of her as a sister, and I--refused to believe she was gone when I first heard the news. It didn't occur to me that she could just be--gone."

Tionne straightened her slumping shoulders as she rallied herself. "I promise you all, I will not let Cray and Nichos be forgotten. Generations from now, the Jedi will sing of their victory against the Eye of Palpatine and mourn their loss along with us. They will be remembered. This I vow, for I will write their story myself.

"Cray Mingla and Nichos Marr," she said, clasping her hands in front of her heart. "May the Force be with you both--always."

Corran, who had been personally instructing Nichos before his illness, offered a different take. "I never knew Cray well, but it wasn't surprising to me that Nichos was unafraid to die. He'd already died once, in his own way, and I think that was far scarier to him than any blaster bolt could be. He--struggled with his identity after his transfer, unclear if he was still himself, still human, or only a simulacra. I couldn't help him with his dilemma, but I think he found his answer on the Eye of Palpatine--and with it, a kind of peace that had eluded him. Life dealt him a nasty hand, and he played it well. I hope I would have done as well in his shoes. May the Force be with him--with both of them. I'll miss him very much."

Then it was Mara's turn.

"Cray and Nichos were not my students, but I honor their actions and their sacrifices as if they were my own," she said. "Like Corran, I hope I would have done as well in their place had our situations been reversed. As a former agent of the Empire, I feel so much rage and grief for their deaths, so much unnecessary suffering and so much pain as a result of the schemes of a man long dead. But I take comfort in the fact that I was able to do what I could to help--and that I was able to bring Roganda Ismaren and her son to justice at last. Their deaths will not be in vain. There will be no more suffering as a result of that dreadnought or its masterminds. And I take what comfort I can in that."

Knowing Mara's distate for the expression, Luke was surprised when she added, after a long pause, "May the Force be with them."

The last person to speak was Callista. She had been weeping silently ever since Luke's speech, and he wasn't sure if she would be able to handle the pressure. But she gathered herself visibly when she saw him looking at her, and faced the circle of grieving Jedi bravely.

"I only knew Cray for a few hours, and yet in some ways, I know her better than any of you here," she began. "What we shared in that short time on the Eye of Palpatine together brought me closer to her than any human being I've ever known. She knew me, all of me, trapped in the computer core, and even in the midst of her pain and grief and her determination to destroy the dreadnought, she had enough compassion to ensure that I would not go down with it. She offered me her body, she stood aside and walked into the dark after Nichos, down a road I couldn't follow.

"She didn't have to do that. She could have gotten into the escape pod and ran. She chose to save me instead. It was her idea, not mine; we had no idea whether or not it would even work. Every second of my existence, every breath I take, I owe to her. I owe her a debt I can never repay, and never will be able to repay because she's gone. But I can do what I can to help others. I can fulfill the vows I took as a Jedi to save all beings. I can live. I can honor her life by living mine to the fullest."

"In some ways, this ceremony has been like watching my own funeral," Callista admitted with a laugh. "I know Cray so well, and yet in some ways, she's a stranger to me; I never saw her the way you did, never got to know her as a fellow student and friend. I wear her body, and yet I'm not her, and I can never be her. For better or worse, I can only be me. And I'm still struggling to find out what that is.

She took a deep, struggling breath. "Thirty years ago, I was a Jedi Knight, a student of Master Djinn Altis, of the old Order. Since then, everyone I knew is dead, slaughtered by the Empire, and the Republic I served is gone. Like Nichos, I lost my ability to use the Force when I came to this new body. I am a stranger in a strange place, and everything I know is gone, even the Force. I--I hope--I can be a Jedi again. But Luke said--Luke said--there would be a place for me here as I am if I wanted it, no matter what happens.

"I hope--you'll accept me. I hope--you'll understand that although I look like her, I'm not Cray and never will be." She swallowed. "But I do want to honor her sacrifice--by taking on a part of her name as well as my own.

"Thirty years ago, I was Callista Masana. Now I am Callista Ming." A slight smile, as flicker of her old humor emerged. "Pleased to meet all of you. I hope you can catch me up on everything I've missed.

"Cray Mingla and Nichos Marr--may the Force be with you always. And thank you. For everything."

#star wars #my fanfiction #fanfic updates #a natural history of tatooine #jedi academy shenanigans

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