#that's what the total shift of LB feels like and I'm SO here for it | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

psychomoonlady · 2 years

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23 / 10/ 22

Starting off this page at 3:57 am on a sunday morning definitely gives a little bit of insight into the slightly unhinged lil story I'm living in. Yes I'll be the protagonist and you could follow me to find out what in the ( and i can't stress this enough) absolute fuck I've been upto lately.

Today let's just say I woke up at 3:30 am , had the sudden urge to turn my life around. Then I read a little bit of Murakami's "Norwegian wood" .

I'll show you the lil note I made that I thought would help in totally changing my life. For the better or worse we'll have to wait and watch.

'Here' refers to the city where my college is. It's a Government Medical College in a pretty big city in Kerala, India and I'm right now hopefully a third year student. I say hopefully since I've still not passed a paper from my second year which if I don't pass in one more chance, I might just get expelled. Absolutely no pressure.

The sweatpants and tees are since I've decided to start going to the gym since two of my friends started going and i have seriously got to do something about my weight. I might be super cute but I'm severely underweight, right now running on 32 kg (70.5 lb). Oh I didn't mention, I'm 22 and I'm yay high. Nah I'm super short standing at a majestic height of 4'9. It's a thing I'm really bummed out about since noone takes me seriously because of my tiny appearance. It particularly affects the way patients interact with me but I do have a good way of speaking in a really mature manner which helps compensate for it.

Now about nitc. National Institute of Technology, Calicut.

How is it related to me? Well that's where my ex boyfriend is studying. I'll tell you about our what i thought was really wholesome relationship in the coming days. I don't wanna spoil everything on the first entry. But the current status is that he dumped me three days ago because he felt that we're incompatible. The box I am planning to send includes some gifts I had bought for him since I didn't know what was coming plus two of his college's tshirts that i don't think wearing anymore would be good for my mental health.

On 25th, my second sessional ( internals) exam would be starting and it ends on 28th . On that day we will have to shift out hostel rooms. And currently my roommate situation is a little bit complicated which I'll tell you about in time. So I need new roommates and texted three of my friends at 5am about the pros and cons of living with me and asked whether they would be interested in doing so. Main pros I mentioned was that am a really chill person who won't judge if they play their music aloud and stuff like that. My clothes fit them almost always so just like how we already do, we can continue to share the wardrobe. Also we could sneak in drinks and we'll drink them occasionally when we feel particularly happy. I don't know of many girls who drinks in the hostel and we usually have to sit on the stairs and drink from seven up bottles pretending it's water and it takes half the fun away.

We could also make the room pretty aesthetic which is something I'm rather fond of that i haven't seen many other people care much about. Another advantage is that we could call proxys for each other which also is not something a lot of people are ready to do. Also since we're really close friends we could comfort each other and be there for each other whenever needed. We could study together but that's entirely upto them and if they don't want to do that it's totally okay.

Buying the bean bag chair is part of making the room aesthetic and comfy but that will only work if the room is big enough. So I'll have to decide whether or not to do it after getting the room.

A single room is something I've always wanted but it's hard to get and there are a lot of disadvantages to it and to be honest I'm not sure about it. But since it has been a dream of mine, I thought I'd give it a thought.

#true story #my story #diary entry #diaryposting #online diary #life stories

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incarnateirony · 2 months

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You know what kills me

this bitch like "nuh uh that's not your face"

BITCH

SLAP SOME MAKEUP ON IT. SORRY I DONT HAVE THE RAINBOW HAIR DYE GLUED TO MY DEFAULT GENETICS

dumb cow.

THE EYELINER IS A PRESENTATION CHOICE, NOT A FUCKING GENETIC MARKER.

All this because the delusional cunt won't accept she made the biggest mistake of her life and threw everything out the door that she wanted, and now Everything just wants her to fucking rot, because she's been a miserably abusive, harassing stalker for literal fucking years after I thought I could be free of her, but no, she bitch is gonna fuck it up so bad ancient greece gets involved and she still won't listen.

The controlling piece of shit knows what she's doing by now, she just like her other delusions is imagining she can take control back when she's the one who signed her everything to me, and I'm the one unspooling reality around her and compelling her. The most she's done is give me a brief headache I sent back to her when she got really upset in my direction. I'm dragging her through time and giving her everything from schizophrenic delusions of fursuit gods to day long dreams of the reaper with her last spark of soul on its fingertip, in front of the class, or taking over playlists she builds thinking she's sticking it to me while delivering my message right down to my theme song from the Great Work "Here I am." because again she keeps trying to be me, and won't listen, even when we say, Here I Am Inside, and she makes the playlist saying the same thing. She STILL won't look at the truth.

Oh, and I'm still unclear on if my rib breaking was a rage attack from her or just the trade in killing her spider then, just to give her extra grace of pretending she can do anything here. Even when I post over and over about me putting red warning signs inside her head she keeps walking past, the dense cunt draws it and monetizes it without reading it. "By request" YEAH, GUESS WHAT BITCHES, THAT'S HOW THIS WORKS IF YOU AREN'T A FAKE PIECE OF SHIT, EVERYONE AROUND YOU IS IN THE BLAST ZONE NOW. THEY'RE all seeing the signs too but still as fucking clueless as you are. Even when her holy water ph shifts into acidic from high alkaline. No matter what. Nothing will stop her. She can't let either of us go. No seriously lardo even started working out while listening to my playlist in the middle of this and doesn't see how she's changing to my rebuild of her even while jamming to "Here I Am" and "Inside." Naw bitch moving you is literally an act of god, that's why I lost 100 lbs the second I left your gravitational pull and you're just now moving your ass once I get the fucking forklift under it.

Deep down, she's gleefully happy she's baking mercury to misery in the microwave, because she's mad he left her, and won't cope. Even if it costs her everything, the attention and feeling of it again is what she wanted. And, true to her nature, instead of putting in the work to repair herself, she's letting me do it for her to make her a fucking tolerable human being instead of a lump of forgery, and she doesn't care if it means she forgets who she ever was. She may even consider that favorable. Or maybe it's already starting and that's why she can't notice. Because now the magical reverb for this goes back something like 11 months in origin of disruptions, so who knows, maybe this has become a bootstrap paradox and that's why the bitch totally lost sight of reality, I don't know.

Niekai trying to bind Zenthus to a ring and then wondering why the Silmataurea gets all fucked up. Jesus christ. And every single Kion stuck in the middle is telling her to get bent, cuz she signed to take it up the ass from the Breath. Well no actually Niekai got her bloodline stuck in a death pact for an arranged marriage. That's not ominous at all.

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exx-ceptional · 1 year

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Lovebug x YOU.

Ignore this, its an oc thing man

Green= y o u

Purple= LB!!

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LoveBug, the sweetest dice anyone will ever meet.

He's funny, happy, and really rebels agaisnt the 'stale formal Dice' thing, huh? But.. you cant help but feel worried about him. He's been abandoned by his own maker for being "Defective" per say.. but, how does someone still be so happy after that?

But today, you're gonna plan to give him a small gift- some nice goggles! He dosent really have that much stuff that he got from his manufacturer, so why dont you give him something?

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Ah, there he was at his post in the facility, like always.

This time it was just him-! And you can see the sheer boredom and apathy LoveBug had towards being just by himself. He wanted something lively.. not this dull grey post he was at.

Until, you finally came up to him- giftbox in hand.

Lovebug was looking down tapping on the floor with his shoe when you suddenly came up to him with a big smile on your face.

"Oh, ohhhh.. my! [Y/N] You're actually here-? Didnt think someone would come back to this.. rotten, grey.. bland place." That little comment made you laugh a bit. It was true, its grey, lifeless... and not the best spot to visit always the time.

"I'm only here cause of you, LB." You reply gesturing to the giftbox with a soft smile.

"Aha, you flatter me- oh! Wait- is this for me?- Seriously?! You got me a gift.." LoveBug Takes the giftbox with open arms. You can hear the happiness in his sweet voice.

"Is- Are these my own goggles?- Woah.. Thank you so much! Ah, what would I do without such a wonderful visitor as you, [Y/N]?" LB quickly hugs you tightly- not to the fact it'll hurt.. it's just the right amount of squeeze.

You can kind of hear a bit of a sad tone in his voice.. seriously, he hasnt recieved any upgrades.. headgears or anything else new after that one.. thing with his manufacturer. It just made him so happy... it made him realize a bit, someone still does like him for his defective design.

"You're welcome LB. I felt like it would fit you, I mean- I promise that it'll look good on you! Cause come on, you'd look pretty nice with them. Since, I picked it out just to suit you- oh, here let me help you get them on that little cute dice head of yours."

You adjust the straps to the right size. Twisting, turning, and pulling the goggles just so it would look nice on LB. And honestly, It did-! The goggles goes well with his outfit.

"Aha, cute dice head? That's new coming from you, [Y/N]. Well, not like I mind.. I like it when you kinda call me that..- aha?.." There was an akward chuckle that came from the dice- There's a noticeable change in his tone. Its a bit more softer, lovey dovey, and warm.

"Ooh, Mister LoveBug Likes compliments, huh? Did I totally not expect that." You gave him back a playful laugh and nudge him a bit on his shoulder with a big smile while holding onto his dice head.

LoveBug was a bit taken by surprise when your hand somehow gets on his face. You can feel him kind of shake a bit- he was shy, nervous, and bashful about the entire thing. He enjoyed it, actually. But, he slowly pulled your hand down with a chuckle.

"Well, seems I'm buying someone a drink again after my shift, huh? Well, if you're still awake."

"Dont worry, I'll stay awake just for you. Alright?"

You reply with a soft smile looking at LB with playful eyes. Laughing at his statement.

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You entered the bar.. it was about nearly two in the morning.

There he was, drunk and sitting on one of the stools- and of course you sit beside him with a bit of worry to see LoveBug drinking so much again.

"Hmh- Huuh.. oh! It'ss hic my beloved [Y/N].. agh- I'm sorry man that my shift hic ended so late. Hey, I'm still hic payin' for your drink yknow? hic Hey, barkeep get my friend over here some bourbon. It's the only thing they hic drink."

LoveBug laughs trying his best not to pass out on you..

He's currently free from his ordained vest and coat. He's just in his polo and tie- and up till now, he's still wearing those goggles you gave him.

"Mmmh.. Man, I love you soo much hic [Y/N]... You wont abandon me, hic right?"

Such a sad question. If only he was able to ask that to his maker in time. But, he doesnt need his manufacturer, not anymore.. now that you're here.

The sudden confession made you snap out of your thoughts and look back at LoveBug.

"...No, I'll never leave or abandon you.. I love you to, bud."

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#oc #awhhhcutefluff #Itsjustocstuff #pleasedontlook #cringe #fiction #writing #x reader #angsty #fluff

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