Okay forget about my crush on Jo, Valcita has my undying love now. I'm sorry Jo but I see a masculine woman and all thoughts are gone. Anyways, I love Jo's new look! Ah and a restaurant? Everything she deserves ugh this save is so fluffy! I'm going to be in a world of pain for when we go back to the 1930s ❤️ - LGL

Gasp! A new lesbian has appeared on the scene and it’s your moment to prove that namesake correct yet again 😌

But come, come, dearest LGL, let’s sit…

The time of your beloved AU happy fluffy time may come to an end faster than I had initially planned. The 1930s now has me in an absolute death grip. I cannot stop thinking about it or writing for it, so alas, many of my plans in the AU have been dashed (including your beloved Rosella but I hope my new offering of Valcita can make up for it).

I still plan to reach the end of this arc in the modern day, mostly because it’s begun to bleed into our historical universe, and there are multiple strings to connect before we move on back into the world of pain. I did warn you after all that there was no determining how long we’d stay there for 😉

Understanding

1,202 words | Original work: No Warrior (sequel to Bread and Water, p. 2)

Content | Fear, language barrier, painful healing, general physical weakness after injury/recovery, mention of: broken bones, starvation, sleep deprivation

Notes | Give him a break (: Or maybe a breakdown, what’s the difference anyway

Your sweet comments give me life, the taglist on this thing has grown so fast, thank you all so much! <3

Bonus | An music! Not for this episode specifically, just. *gestures vaguely*

Taglist | @just-a-whumping-racoon-with-wifi @castielamigos-whump-side-blog @whump-me-all-night-long @alliecat5594 @whumpadump1939 @thingsthatgo-whump-inthenight @whumpzone @angelstars @kixngiggles @whumpsy-daisies @maddamredders-yaoi @briars7​ @yet-another-heathen​

​Yves spent the next few days curled up in his spot right at the bow.

Most of the time, the same man was there with him. Quite frequently, one or two of the others came by to chat. It terrified Yves, but they only ever threw him curious glances, occasionally words he didn’t understand. No one touched him.

That terrified him even more.

He just couldn’t understand.

The man fed him regularly, offering him bread, fish, dried fruit even. By night, he let him sleep under a thick wool blanket. Yves hadn’t realized just how much the hunger and lack of sleep had eaten away at him until he was slowly starting to recover, his head and stomach aching less and less, his thoughts slowly getting clearer.

He still couldn’t understand, though, and the tension was becoming unbearable. He knew this was too good to last, and every passing hour felt like it was piling onto a debt he would have to pay in the most gruesome ways imaginable.

Every day, the man examined his injuries, and it was a terrifying procedure every time.

Today was no different. The man had carefully gone over his broken arm, the whipmarks and bruises on his back, and now Yves knew he had to sit up. The first two or three times, the man had had to lift him up by his shoulders, which was terrifying in itself, but Yves found the idea of pre-empting it, of potentially making a mistake, even worse. By now he dared to, and the man didn’t seem to mind.

Still, it was awful, offering up his battered chest and vulnerable belly like that. Every time, he felt that this was the time his luck would run out, a punch or kick would land where it hurt the most, would crack his ribs up even more or dive into his stomach. Somehow, opening himself up like this was even worse than being forced, bound, dragged into position. He’d had to do it before, of course, knowing disobedience would be worse, but it made him feel even more helpless.

Today, again, no attack came, only the man’s hands dabbing healing salve onto his injuries. It took all of Yves’ self-control not to flinch from fear and pain. The cold air drew up goosebumps on his exposed skin.

Finally, they were done. The man helped him pull his shirt back on. Yves wished he would just draw back, leave him to his own devices, even though he didn’t have to strain his still aching shoulders and back as much with his help.

He retreated back under his blanket, cowering down again to protect himself, although he knew it was irrational; the man - anyone on this ship - could manhandle him into whatever position they wanted. He thought the air was getting colder as they travelled; soon he would be freezing even with the blanket.

“x̴̷̸̢̢̛͞͝x̶̢̧̀͡͏̶͟x̶̸̷̶̢̛͘͠.”

Yves looked up to see the man staring intently down on him. His heart picked up. Was this it?

“x̷̷̸̨̢͜͠͡x̵̧̕͡҉́́͘ ̸͡͡͏̷̧͏͢x̸̴̨̢̡̀̀͟x̴̶̷̛̀́͘͠x̸̴̧̨̛̀̕͟x͏̴͜҉̧̛̀͟ ̷̷̶̢̨̛̕̕x̛̕͟͟͟͞͠͝x̸̵̴̴̴͢͝͡ ̴̸̵̨͘͢͟͞R̡̡̛̀͟͢͠͝u̸̢̢̡͟͝͡͠ǹ̷̨̧͜͏̛̀a̷̕̕͘͢͠͞͝r̸͟͠͡҉̨̛͜.”

“I don’t understand,” Yves whispered weakly. He’d said it so many times in the past few days the words had lost all meaning. Every time the man spoke to him, he felt his heart sink, like he was failing a critical test, a failure which would lead to - it hadn’t so far, but he knew that wouldn’t last forever.

The man placed a hand on his own chest. “Ŗ̶̀͞u̢̡͡͠ǹ̕͠͠ą̕͞͝r̴̴͞͠.“

Yves just stared for a moment. Why would it ever matter for him to know what his tormentor’s name was? But he certainly didn’t want to argue. “Runar?” he repeated obediently, hoping with every fibre of his being he was getting it right.

Apparently he did, because the man nodded enthusiastically. Then he pointed at Yves. “x̵̸̸̷̢̕͜͢x̷̢̨́҉͜͏͘x̡̡̛́́͘͘͜x̴̵̧̧͘͘͟͡x̸̸̨̢̧̀͟͢ ̧́͜͠͏̶͜͞x̴̧̛͞͠͠͡͠x̸̵̷̛̀͘͜͞x̷̶̨̡͏̴̸̀x͞͏̵̨̛̀́͝x̸̵̸̧̡̧͘͜?”

Put on the spot, for a dreadful moment, he thought he had forgotten his name. He shouldn’t have been surprised, he though feverishly, while digging for the answer that would satisfy the man - it had been months, years, a lifetime since he had last heard it.

But it plopped back out of cover in a moment. He almost cried with relief, and placed a trembling hand on his chest. “Yves.”

“I̷̕͠f͘͟͢?”

“Yves,” he whispered, unwilling to correct the man properly, but maybe he wanted that and Yves didn’t know what to do, he was too busy with his throat closing up over hearing his name, however poorly pronounced. It had been so long.

“Y̵̧̕v͟͟͡e͘͜͡s̸̴͟, x̵̧̢̛̛̀͘҉x̴͡҉̀͏̶̸̛ ͞҉̵̶̸̛̀͝x̢̨̨́͘͢͠͠x̸̨̨̧͘͟͜͜x҉̶̴̀̕͢͜͠ ͠͞͏̨̨͠͏̧x͘͠͏̸̢̧̢̀x̡̧̀̀͢͠҉͜x̛҉҉̸̧̛͜͡x͏̷͏̵̢́́͟ ͢͏́͘͜͜͜͞x̶̵͏͠҉̢̛͜x҉̧̢̕͘͘͘͢ ̵̀͘͘̕͢͢͠x̸̢͞҉̶́͡͠x̴̡͝͡͝͏̀͜ ̧̨̨͏̴̸̨́x̸̵̶̶̨̡̛͜x̴̶̡̛́͢͠͞x̸͜͠͏͏̴̛͢x̕͞͡҉̸҉̵̷x̸̴̨̀͟͏̴̡x̴̧̧͏̀҉͜͡x̶̸̵̡̛͢͢͡ ̢͢͜͝҉̡́͝x̵̸̡̨̀͢͡͞ ̴͏̵̸̧͘҉̧x̶̛͢͟͜͢͠͝x͜͜͝͝͝҉͡͞x̸̶̧̛̛͢͞͞x̶̴̨͘̕͏͜͠x͏̷̧̨̀͟͡͡?”

Yves looked up at the man as helpless as ever. Possibly more, since the shock of being called by his name - his actual, real name - still rang through his soul.

The man - Runar - reached out, took him by his unbroken arm, and lifted him up. Like every touch of his, it was gentle, or as gentle as it could be while carrying half his weight.

Still, Yves didn’t doubt that this was it, now, and when he finally stood, his legs didn’t tremble from lack of use only.

His balance was feeble after cowering down for so long, and the movement of the ship threw it off. He was clinging on to the man before he could stop himself. His heart skipped a beat, and he quickly tried to right himself. “I’m s-sorry-”

“x̡̨͘͝҉̨͞͡x̷̷̡̧̀́͞͠x͏̴̢̢͟͟҉͟ ̷̨̡̀͏̧͜͡x͏̡̀҉̧͡҉̨x̷̵̢̨̨͘͢͝x̶̵̢̢̢̛̕͟x͏̵̸̢̛͜͝͠.” If the man wasn’t so big and threatening and probably leading him to the others for entertainment, finally, his voice might have sounded soothing. But he put an arm around Yves’ thin waist that very clearly told him any attempt at escape was moot.

“I - I know,” he whispered, blinking back tears, keeping his eyes cast down. Maybe it would help. Maybe they would go easy on him if he was meek enough.

The man walked him along the ship, slowly enough for his trembling, neglected legs to keep up. He didn’t dare look up to see the wolvish looks of the other warriors, no doubt waiting for their prey.

But all that happened was that the man - Runar, he must remember, there must be a reason he had been told this - turned him around when they reached the mast, and walked him back. They were joined, briefly, by the woman who had spoken to him earlier, but she only asked, “G̡̀͘͜ó̴̡̢o̷̕͢͝d̶̛̕͢?“, the mockery only there in the word, not her tone. He didn’t dare do anything other than nod.

Eventually, they reached their spot at the bow again. Runar guided him back down into sitting.

He was smiling.

That was when Yves couldn’t take any more. Days of horrible tension, and he had been so sure now it would finally break, and - “Just tell me what you want! Please... just tell me what you want.” He broke down sobbing, and realized only as he said it that the man couldn’t have done that, even if he were so inclined. “I’ll do anything...”

The man didn’t react, for a moment - not that Yves could bring himself to look at him. Then, the blanket was carefully draped around his shoulders, and he heard, in a soft voice, more words in this language keeping his captor’s thoughts shrouded from him.

Gem Glow: Part 1

Welcome! Well, this isn’t really made to entertain. I’m just doing this to recover from trauma and get a good grasp of the show’s lore while having my girls react with me. Feel free to tag along.

We’ll be watching four episodes a day and react only to the major events as tackling all of them is a toughie.

 Sharpie: “I want to see real tears, Wilt.”

Wilt: “Tears? At the very first episode?”

Sharpie: “Yes. Otherwise I’ll make you cry by some other means.”

Wilt: “I have these tear marks. Those count, yes?”

Sharpie: “Real tears, I said.”

Wilt: “Ahh, how iconic.”

Spinel: “The area around the lighthouse is lacking a lot of flowers. That’ll change someday!”

Sharpie: “Yes, after a lot of blood, ink and tears had been shed first.”

Spinel: “Here we have a shot of the show’s hero, lamenting the discontinuation of a certain ice cream snack brand.”

Sharpie: “Is this triggering your PTSD yet?”

Wilt: “Not really. I thought it would but surprisingly I’m still okay.”

Lars: “Well, if you miss your wimpy ice cream so much, why don’t you make some with your MAGIC BELLY BUTTON?”

Spinel: “Hey Sharpie, let’s make foodstuff with just the energy in our gem.”

Sharpie: “And you still owe me 86 years’ worth of happiness.”

Wilt: “What is this civil conversation you’re having? That’s not how I wrote you two.”

Sadie: “Uhh Steven? Do you want to take the freezer with you?”

Spinel: “Think what would’ve happened if Sadie didn’t let him take that freezer home.”

Sharpie: “Does… does the cat’s face looked different to you?”

Spinel: “I love the lighthouse. The view up the top is always so breathtaking.”

Sharpie: “I’m not so happy with our roommate though.”

Wilt: “…I might have to draw this someday.”

Spinel: “Don’t you just love it when your pets greet you as you enter your house? I wish you would greet me whenever I fall asleep.”

Sharpie: “You’re just my nightmare.”

Amethyst: “’Sup, Steven.”

Spinel: “AME!!!!”

Spinel: “I AM IN LOVE.”

Sharpie: “You can stop replaying this 5 seconds worth of Pearl now.”

Spinel: “It’s 4 seconds worth of Pearl, you heathen.”

Spinel: “HOOO MAMA. Remember when Garnet kicked our ass?”

Sharpie: “She kicked your ass. She kicked your ass so much I had to start a switch to intervene. Now that I think of it, I shouldn’t have done that.”

Sharpie: “Being sliced open is one thing. Being pulled apart is another.”

Spinel: “It’s good that we’re stretchy.”

Sharpie: “I can disable that function and tear you apart like that, actually. Ever wondered why it doesn’t hurt when others pull at you like taffy but I can?”

Spinel: “I can do the same and prevent you from escaping my hugs.”

Sharpie: “*sigh*… I hate you.”

Spinel: “Ahaha! Pearl is so cute!”

Sharpie: “Ahaha! I love this technique.”

Wilt: “It’s good for breaking a hole through walls in maximum security prisons, yeah.”

Amethyst: “Uhh you guys, these things don’t have gems.”

Garnet: “That means there must be a mother somewhere nearby.”

Sharpie: “That’s a fascinating thought.”

Wilt: “It’s similar to how Pearl can project figures that can maintain itself while independent of the source. In this case, the main centipeedle can project independent but smaller versions of itself.”

Sharpie: “How come 2nd Projections aren’t like that, I wonder. Like we can’t have separate bodies or anything…”

Wilt: “Probably because the 2nd Projection has a personality of its own and it stems from the original gem, while Pearl Projections and mini-centipeedles are pre-programmed projections that would act accordingly to the original’s commands. Like, if Spinel makes a projection separate from her, it wouldn’t be you.”

Sharpie: “Fair enough.”

Spinel: “Speaking of Pearl Projections…”

Sharpie: “No.”

Pearl: “Steven, until you learned to control the powers in your gem, we’ll take care of protecting humanity. Okay?”

Spinel: “I want Pearl to snap my neck like that.”

Sharpie: “As if impaling you wasn’t enough.”

Spinel: “PFFFTT-“

Amethyst: “We went out and stole a bunch!”

Spinel: “That’s my Ame.”

Pearl: “I went back and paid for that.”

Sharpie: “That’s…. that’s very Pearl of her.”

Steven: “He left his family behind!”

Spinel: “AHAHAHAHAHA”

Sharpie: “What’s so funny about that?”

Sharpie: “Oh my stars. I hope we don’t have to bear another one of those.”

Wilt: “It’s catchy. I like it.”

Sharpie: “What a happy little family. It’s a shame that they’re doomed to a life of madness onwards.”

Amethyst: “Quick! Try and summon your weapon!”

“Awww, no weapon.”

Wilt: “He’s struggling. A sign of a well-rounded character. The progress is dramatic if we compare this episode to the last ones. And it only took him a few Earth years.”

Sharpie: “And it took us like what, 86 years to get this far and we’re still inferior to most we meet in our travels.”

Spinel: “God I love Pearl.”

Sharpie: “Can you even pay attention to anything that isn’t Pearl?”

Spinel: “I’m capable of paying attention to a lot of things and to nothing at the same time, Sharpie. Be amazed.”

Steven: “Can one of you just explain how to summon a weapon?”

Pearl: “Oh! I’ll go first.”

Wilt: “I love Pearl.”

Spinel: “I love Pearl.”

Sharpie: “…”

Spinel: “AUUGH! Pearl is so beautiful.”

Wilt: “This is so anime.”

Spinel: “This scene makes me wanna stand underneath a cherry blossom tree with her in a Friday afternoon and confess my love.”

Sharpie: “God both of you disgust me.”

Pearl: “Pay attention to these petals, Steven.”

Pearl: “The petal’s dance seems improvised, but it is being calculated in real-time based on the physical properties of this planet.”

Wilt: “HELL YEAH, I LOVE PEARL.”

Pearl: “With hard work and dedication, you can master the magical properties of your gem, and perform your own dance.”

Pearl: “Like so.”

Spinel: “HELL YEAH, I LOVE PEARL”

Sharpie: “So… Pearl’s approach is tuning into the technical reality of the universe to tap into her gem’s energy,”

Amethyst: “Listen Steven. All that practice stuff is no fun. Whenever I need to summon my weapon, it just happens.”

Sharpie: “And Amethyst’s approach is just winging it. Considering Ame is a gem made for war, of course summoning a weapon is natural instinct. Pearl however… She had to learn serious fighting, something most Pearls aren’t made for.”

Spinel: “We’re the same, ain’t we? Spinels ain’t made for violence but we can whoop butt just fine.”

Sharpie: “We just got lucky… and incredibly unfortunate at the same time.”

Sharpie: “Gems are such nuisances. So much that in other places of the world, a group of humans actually built little Distortion Bombs capable of disorienting corrupted gems to a point of repelling them away. Unfortunately those things are powered by tiny bits of gem shards, which is obviously not an easily obtainable source of power. The project was discontinued.”

Spinel: “The invention worked on us, too, which is kind of impressive!”

Sharpie: “The best those little bombs done to us were to irritate us, or temporarily disable our senses. Corrupted gems have warped sentience I think, so they would rely more on instincts and run away from the source of irritation as much as possible.”

Sharpie: “They say if enough energy is given into the device, it’ll have high enough amplitude to potentially dissipate a gem’s physical form. But this is just a fever dream. There’s no way they have access to that amount of energy without slaughtering a Diamond first. Still, props to the engineer who thought that was a good idea.”

Spinel: “So instead of using gem shards, he decided to use us by writing the function into Springy. If we poof, we can give bad gems nearby a head ache and make them go away. We can protect people even if we die in battle! He basically turned us into heroic suicide bombers against corrupted gems.”

Sharpie: “Necessary, considering every time we poof we somehow cause part of a building to catch on fire, killing the people we’re supposed to protect in the process.”

Spinel: “Uh huh… yeaaahh….. I mean, where else is the excess energy supposed to go?”

Sharpie: “I dunno. Some other harmless form of energy apart from heat? The sparkly dust clouds were already perfect and you just had to change it into something deadlier. Thanks to you, seven people that stood close to us turned into soup.”

Spinel: “Well, there was that one time where the fire storm actually saved us from a meanie who wanted to crush us. We can’t just ignore that.”

Sharpie: “Seven people died, Spinel. Seven people that happened to be our allies.”

 Wilt: “Please stop. We have to finish this episode.”

Steven: “So I’m supposed to work really hard and not try at all at the same time?”

Garnet: “Yes.”

Garnet: “Or…”

Garnet: “You can link your mind with the energy of all existing matter, channeling the collective power of the universe through your gem.”

Garnet: “At least that’s my way of doing it.

Spinel: “C’mon, kiddo. It’s not that hard to understand. It’s how Springy lived for the past 40 years. If she can do it, so can you.”

Sharpie: “I bet this makes the most sense to you, huh Wilt?”

Wilt: “It does. Considering we are all just ripples of energy on the surface of the large lasagna we call the observable universe.”

Sharpie: “What a nerd. Also we’re half-way through the episode. You better cry, Wilt.”

Wilt: “I’m saving this shot for reference.”

In the comics, Rick had more relatives (like his cousin Rebecca) and he probably would've been a big brother had his parents lived. Since we like to joke that he’s the ultimate big brother to the JSA, me and @freckledpianoman decided to make him a big brother in an AU where Wendi and Rex live: 

His little sister’s named Rebecca, but Rick calls her Bex for short. He only calls her Rebecca if she’s annoying him and full names her (“Rebecca Gwendoline Tyler!”) when she’s in trouble. She’s seven and Rick often wonders if he has a little sister or a little monkey with how she’s forever getting into places she shouldn’t be in 

“How did you even get in my room, I locked it from the inside.” “What, like it’s hard?” 

She also likes perching on his shoulders because she likes seeing everything and feeling as tall as her brother 

Rick didn’t know it at first, but Bex knew Beth first. Beth works in the children’s library on Saturdays where she does read alouds for kids and Bex is always talking about the smart girl who reads all sorts of fun stories to her. Bex often requests for Beth to do certain voices and accents and thinks that the voice that Beth does for grumpy characters makes her sound like her brother 

He’s wondering who his sister befriended because this Beth person seems too good to be true. One day he’s running late to pick Bex up because he had engine problems and when he gets there, he sees his little sister being read to while she's sitting in the lap of a pretty girl 

Bex sees him turning red and she tugs at his sleeve and goes, “Rick, don't embarrass me, she’s really nice” 

Rick and Bex have a very petty rivalry over getting Beth’s attention

“Stop trying to steal my friend, Rick! I had her first!” “Kids, behave.” Wendi has to give them a look so that Beth doesn’t think they're heathens

Bex notices the look that her brother has every time he talks with Beth and she’s this close to giving him a shovel talk 

“Stop trying to steal Beth!” “We go to the same school, I’d see her anyway!” “What, no fair! Do you have lunch with her? Does she share her brownies with you?” “Hmm, maybe she does, I guess you'll never know.” 

And Bex chases after him while he laughs 

Wendi ends up with a surprise pregnancy in her mid-forties a few months before Rick's sixteenth birthday. He’s torn between “you’re already old, stop having children” and being anxious over her pregnancy. He glares at Rex and goes, “this is what happens when you don’t keep your hands to yourself”. Rex is sitting there like “shouldn’t I be the one lecturing you on keeping your hands to yourself?” “Don’t distract me, old man, you’re supposed to be the responsible one.”

Everyone argues over baby names, but they eventually settle on Rowan. Her middle name is Elizabeth and yes, she was named for Beth. It was Rick and Bex’s idea since they were allowed to pick a middle name

Beth thought that she heard wrong at first, but she sees Rick smile softly and nod and it’s all happy tears for her. Later Beth buries her face in his chest and scolds him for making her cry 

“You named a baby after me, how else am I supposed to react?”

It doesn’t help that Rowan’s first word is “Beff” 

Rex taught his kids how to use the hourglass in case of emergencies. Rick has used the hourglass before for training. Bex got banned from using the hourglass because she somehow lifted up a corner of the house because she was trying to get her baseball back 

“How?!” “Artemis taught me how to lift with my knees.” 

Rick’s usually very responsible with the hourglass save for a couple of times when he impulsively stole it for “missions”, aka helping Beth or Bex. The third time was when he set the hourglass down while Rowan was using the coffee table to pull herself up and she ended up using it to lift the couch to get her pacifier from under it

“Dad, I think I broke Rowan!” 

Beth often finds Rick asleep on the couch with Rowan napping on his chest. It’s as adorable as it sounds and she takes pics for the group chat. And sometimes she catches him singing softly to Rowan. Bex says that he did the same when she was little and they joke about Rick being the ultimate big brother to the JSA and to Bex and Rowan 

There have been times where Rick and Bex will come out of their rooms to find Beth helping Rex with chemistry stuff, having completely forgotten they were supposed to be hanging out. While Rick’s glad that Beth gets a chance to discuss things with another chemistry nerd (even if it is his dad), the Tyler siblings are still put out by it. It was bad enough that Wendi asked her to pose for her newest painting, but now they have to worry about their dad stealing Beth 

They have to sneak Beth into the house so Rex can’t grab her on her way in, Bex clinging to Beth while Rick guides her in with his hand on her back 

But Rick sees how much fun Beth has posing for Wendi’s paintings and he’s just happy that Beth’s happy 

Beth and Rick share custody of Hootie and after Rowan was born, Rick does not want that ‘damn feral bird’ anywhere near his baby sister, but Hootie acts like a guard owl for Rowan. He tried shooing Hootie away from her crib, but he ends up getting his head pecked while Hootie lands in the crib, nuzzling Rowan's hair much to Rick's horror. He thinks she'll get rabies

Beth scolds Rick when she hears about it from Bex. “Your mom already had Rowan get her shots and Hootie’s up to date on all of his. They’ll be fine.” And Rick comes home one day to find Hootie perched on Wendi’s shoulder while she holds Rowan 

“Mom. There is an owl on your shoulder, why aren't you freaking out?” “He never does anything, he’s just curious about her.” “He’s a wild bird, not a dog.” “He’s basically a dog, Bex plays fetch with him.”

“Of course she does. Trust Beth to rescue a bird just as weird as her.” “Please, you love her weirdness.” 

There’s a babysitting episode where Rick has to babysit his sisters because Wendi and Rex have date night and Rex goes, "do not call us, Rick, I just want a night out with your mother and if you even think about sending a text, I’ll call Beth and tell her how you feel about her. Do not test me, son.” Rick thinks his dad is seriously pent up but as the car pulls out of the driveway, Rick gets a text from Rex that says “you should invite Beth over for some company while you watch your sisters”

Rick is more than a little disturbed that his dad of all people is playing matchmaker

Bex perks up when she hears that Beth might be coming over and she climbs over Rick to try and get to his phone so that she can call Beth. “Bex, stop that, I’ll call her.” “But you take too long, Riri.” It’s a wonder that Beth is able to hear him over Bex constantly interjecting and saying that she wants to talk with her

Beth offers to help out with dinner, but Rick keeps shooing her out of the kitchen, saying that she should relax and hang out with the girls. “But cooking is relaxing for me.” “Go watch a stupid sitcom or something, I’ll be done in a minute.”

They take turns feeding Rowan while she's in her high chair, she’s a very messy eater and Rick always gets food on him whenever he feeds her. But it doesn't stop Rowan from trying to put her hands all over her brother's face. She thinks the faces he makes are funny and Bex just eggs her on 

It's times like this where Rick is glad that Beth is here because as much as he loves his sisters, they can be a handful. “Bex, stop encouraging this.” “Aim for his eyes next time, Rowan.” “No!” He sees Rowan pouting and he has to go into stern big brother mode. “We do not poke people's eyes, young lady.”

Beth thinks it's funny when Rick gets all stern with the girls and she starts calling him “old man”. He's so affronted by it and you know he's gonna get back at her for it once the girls are put to bed. Beth knows it too and she tries to escape, but it ends up with Rick chasing her all over the house before he finally tackles her onto the couch

“Get off me, you might break your hip.” “Sorry, I think my hip is acting up. You’re stuck here now.” “You’re a jerk." “It’s fair game, sweetheart.” “Well, you really sound like an old man now.” Rick just pins her down with his hips and goes, “does this feel old to you?” “I dunno Rick, how are you feeling? Any joints out of place?” Rick smirks and the next thing Beth knows, she’s being princess carried. “You tell me.”

Rick just twirls her around just to hear her laugh more and that’s what Wendi and Rex walk in on. Rick almost drops Beth, but she clings onto him before he can. Wendi has a mischievous grin as she asks if Beth and Rick had fun. She wishes she had her phone out to take a pic of how red Rick’s face went. Beth is embarrassed, but Wendi and Rex invite her to stay the night since her parents are away and it’s too late for her to go home

“Listen, I love Beth and I want you to make a move, don't get me wrong, but I am not ready for grandkids.” “Dad, gross, mom already gave me the talk. I haven't even thought about having kids yet.” “Lies, I’ve seen the way you look at Beth whenever she holds Rowan.” “That doesn’t mean I’m imagining having kids with her!” “I’m not stupid, I’ve given that look before.”

Rick is horrified because he did not want to hear that, but it does explain Bex and Rowan. “Bottom line, you and Beth need to be responsible.” “You’re saying all this like there’s even a chance something’ll happen.” “Do I need to point out the way you look at her?” “Dad, please, can you just—stop embarrassing me in front of my friends? I’ve worked too hard to trick Beth into thinking that having me as a friend may actually not be such a bad idea for you to scare her away now.”

“You don't give Beth enough credit. She’s here to stay.”

Once there was a problem with the daycare that Rowan was supposed to be at and Rick had picked her up before lunch and now she’s hanging at the loser table with the JSA. Rick is treated like an exhibit at the zoo because of his baby sister because she’s just babbling happily in his arms and she gets away with pulling his hair

The teachers are just watching Rick come and go to classes with a baby like it’s no big deal and the students just look at him in shock because the delinquent they’ve all been told to avoid is being ordered around by an infant

And now they have a front row seat for Beth and Rick coparenting Rowan. A couple people straight up ask if they're dating because it’s such a domestic sight. Beth is startled and blurts out, “oh no, no, we’re best friends”

Rick is off to the side, quiet but heartbroken. Rowan pats his face to comfort him 

One time when Rick was out of the house and Beth was hanging out with the girls, Bex randomly asks Beth if she likes Rick. “He’s my best friend, of course I like him.” “I meant do you like like him, like how mom and dad do.” “Oh, um—” "Because it’s okay if you do. Rowan and me like you and so do mom and dad.” Beth looks unsure so Bex and Rowan cuddle with her 

Rick comes back to find all of them cuddling and he catches Bex giving Beth a look. He knows something is up because he knows Bex, that's her ‘I did something and I don't want Rick to know’ look. “What did you do?” “Not even a hi, Riri?” “That’s the same look you had when you let a lava cake explode in the oven and tried to hide it from mom.”

“I didn’t do anything! Maybe you’re trying to hide something so you’re deflecting onto me!” “Did Beth teach you what deflecting means?” “She’s been helping me get ready for the spelling bee, duh. And I’m not deflecting.” “Rebecca Gwendoline, what did you do?” “On second thought, I’m going to bed early tonight, byyeee!”

He just looks at Rowan, who’s gnawing on the plush owl that Beth gave her. “You’re not telling me either, are you?” She blows a raspberry at him. “Of course not. Hanging around Beth has made you and Bex too smart for your own good.”

Beth and Rick once looked after the girls for the weekend while Wendi and Rex go on vacation. The guest room is practically already Beth's room so the Tylers tell her she can just stay over, though Rex did expect them to share a bed. He and Wendi have a little bet going on about it. They end up video calling Beth on the first night 

Meanwhile Beth and Rick are snuggled up against each other when Beth glances at her phone and goes “oh crap” and pushes Rick away from her as she answers, but the Tylers can still hear Rick grumbling. Beth keeps glancing towards Rick, who’s just sitting there pouting because precious time is being wasted and he knows the girls will be awake soon. “Beth, honey, are you okay? You’re looking a little distracted.” “Uh—I’m fine! Just making sure the girls aren't already awake.” 

“Rick isn’t giving you trouble, is he?” Beth sneaks a look at a glowering, pouty Rick. “No?” Right after she says that, he starts sneaking his hand up her waist and she lets out a choked gasp. “Beth?” “Okay, he is a little,” she admits before swatting Rick’s hand away

“Is he awake yet? We can tell him to stop being such a demon if you need us to.” “Uh—no! He's asleep. In his room. You know how he gets, low blood pressure demon and all that.” “Oh, you have no idea. Rex says he still has phantom pains where Rick clawed him the last time he tried to wake him up.” 

“You sure we had a kid and not a feral cat?” Rick forgets himself and goes, “I was seven, get over it old man.” Beth drops her phone onto her lap to panic while Rex and Wendi quietly crack up on the other end of the call

They can still hear her admonishing Rick. “Why would you say that, now your parents are gonna be wondering what I’m doing in your room and this is so embarrassing!” 

Beth’s hiding her face in her hands and Rick grabs her phone off her lap and says “uh—we're gonna go, I think I just heard Rowan.” “Rowan won’t be waking up for another hour—” “Bye mom, love you.” 

Rick spends the next little while coaxing Beth to stop hiding. “It’s not that bad, you know my parents love you.” He rests his head on her shoulder and goes, “c’mon, Beth”, but she jerks away and says “no, I’m never living this down” 

“This isn't the first time they’ve caught us in bed together.” “Not helping, Rick!”

He hugs himself against her and feels her relax, but she’s still hiding her face. Then his phone buzzes and he holds his screen up to her to show a text from Wendi saying, “tell Beth we trust her (not you)”. Beth collapses into giggles over the text

“My own parents think I’m some kind of deviant!” “Okay, but is that such a wild assumption to make? I didn’t even say anything that bad!” “Oh? Then did I just imagine you calling me trouble, sweetheart?”

good news, sluts! my brain's no longer being completely stupid (only mostly), i've seen the new asides and...have some thought-y thot thoughts:

*deep inhale*

Okay, first things first: this art style is soooo fucking cUTE and I'm a jealous, squealing bitch. Anyone who knows who the artist is, could you link me to them, stat? I think Thomas mentioned them at the beginning of the ep, but nYeh, brain hurt, doesn't wanna do wooork-

Okay, I'll admit, I was a little...apprehensive when I first saw the thumbnail and title. Part of it's just me being a bitter Remus Stan, but also...okay, deep breaths, controversial opinion time, get ready:

I don't ship Prinxiety.

Like, at all. 

I can see the appeal, and these dorks were so very, VERY cute in this particular ep, but I was honestly turned off by the ship long ago due to how overwhelmingly popular it is and how some fans characterize these two and treat this relationship as if it's the only valid one, y'know, the works—slight tangent, but that's also why I don't ship Logicality or Remile. I honestly vibe much better with ships like Roceit or Analogical, y'know?

Cutting in for another brief tangent: I'm surprisingly okay with Demus/Dukeceit/Receit/Trashnoodle/Whatever-Their-Ship-Name-Is-Oh-God-Why-Do-They-Have-So-Many-Fucking-Names; maybe it's cause they haven't actually interacted in canon and the fan content gives me such good Gay Disney Villain content, idk man im weird—).

Still, their interactions were both hilarious and sweet and like I said, I see the appeal, it's just not my cup of tea. y'all Prinxiety fans got fucking FED and I'm happy for you nerds. Enjoy ze happy boys!

I guess another factor in my...low-key hesitance when I first saw what the ep was about is that...okay, get ready, another controversial opinion, le gasp: well, I'm not a big Virgil fan. In fact, at times, he swaps places with Patton as my least favorite sides—especially with some of his recent behavior in eps like DWIT (the "prohibit your breathing comment" really triggered me, for example). Sometimes, his attitude, especially around other sides like Roman or Janus, reminds me a little too much of my sister, who I don't have...a very good relationship with. Add to that how the more...intense side of the fandom has a disturbing tendency to turn him into the 'uwu precious woobie emo baby who can do no wrong' while unnecessarily villainizing other CERTAIN sides in the process, and...I think you all see where I'm going with this little rant 😅

However, upon actually watching the ep, he wasn't...that bad? I don't think? I enjoyed watching him be a flustered, disaster-y mess and genuinely excited at the end, his interactions with Roman were nice enough, and him literally pushing Thomas to make a move with Nico despite his obvious panic attack was a nice moment of genuine character development. I like seeing that, that's the good shit right there. And him being all flustered and shit, and smiling so much at the end of the vid was just...well, adorable. This man has no fucking right to be this cute, my god

alsoooo 

pURPLE EYESHADOW

PURPLE EYESHADOW HE LOOKS?? SO GOOD?? WTF?? SLAY EMO, SLAAAAAAAY FUCK, DOES THIS MEAN I HAVE TO CHANGE MY HALLOWEEN COSTUME NOW?

alsoooo 

hAPPY ROMAN

YESSSSS~ MAH BOI MAH SON MAH DUMB BITCH HIMBO PRINCE MAH EXTRA MESSY CINNAMON ROLL

ITS  BEEN SO  LONG

AND HIS LITTLE HEART EYES THROUGHOUT THE VID, OH MY GOD-

IMMA JUST IGNORE THAT "ADDING [MISTAKE] TO THE LIST" COMMENT I AM LOOKING AWAY I DO NOT SEE IT LALALALALA

THOMATHY, SIR, YOU HAVE NO RIGHT MAKING THESE TWO GAY IDIOTS SO BAEBY

Okay, but Virgil not realizing that "cyberstalking in real life" is literally just stalking is both a big ass mood and further proof that, yes, Logan is indeed the only one holding the braincell out of this disaster of a lot. God help them all if he ducks out in the next ep.

👀

And Thomas x Trash Can is my new OTP.  I dub thee ✨ "Trashmas" ✨

we sTAN TRASHMAS

Wait, does that mean Remus actually WAS in the ep? Cause, y'know, trash man?

hmmm

👀 👀 

Okay, okay. 

With how much Virgil and Roman were going off about Thomas constantly lying, I was (understandably) a tad bit disappointed my snek son didn't even make a fucking cameo, but y'know what? In hindsight, I'm okay with this it's fineee~

He was just off playing with shadow puppets and stealing money from us desperate, content-starved peasants with his sheer extra-ness and, honestly? Gotta respect the hustle. 

Get that precious, precious coin, dapper snake! Wring us poor losers dryyyy!

*evil snek laugh*

Also, this is a breather ep and adding Janus in probably would've caused unnecessary drama with the Roceit breakup and the constant antagonism between Virgil and him. It probably would've distracted from the point of the ep (flirting with social anxiety, exactly what it says in the tin)—much like it wasn't really Virgil or Remus's place to show up during POF. Does that make sense? I think it makes sense. Sorry, brain going brr-

Still, I can't believe the "Fuck Janus Sanders" Club is actually canon now 😂

God, first Patton in a skirt and now this. 

Thomas Sanders, you delight in fucking feEDING this gremlin nest of a fanbase, don’t you? You RELISH our screams of joy and pain and suffering, dON’T YOU?

What's next, actual canonical Janus and Remus interaction? Patton saying the fuck word? The Dragon Witch comes back? Janus's bowler hat gains sentience and takes over the world, Doris-style? What do you have planned, Thomas? Joan? WHAT ART THOU PLANNING, I MUST KNOW YOU HEATHENS YOU FIENDS-

And Virgil's little "would it be fair to him" comment, tho.

👀

Like, I get in the context of the ep, he was likely talking about Nico and how it wouldn’t be good for a potential relationship with Tomas to be founded on lies, but still...my anxceit heart aches, man. 

Gimme that sweet, sweet angst with a side of mutual regret and possible future reconciliation and maybe something more wink wink nudge nudge on top, pls

...and fries.

Honestly, tho, that entire bathroom monologue was fucking beautiful, man. And relatable, too—i can't tell you how many times I've talked to myself in public restrooms because I just didn't know how to get the words I wanted to say out. It's...kind of embarrassing, tbh

Speaking of embarrassing, uh, crying stall guy.

Just...

Crying Stall Guy

Like, I was expecting someone to come out the bathroom stall after Thomas stopped talking, but...I honestly wasn't expecting that. God, that whole scene was so cringe worthy and fucking hilarious

Honestly, Thomas in the ep in general was a huge ass mOOD and we collective gay/bi disasters ALL related with him, and if you say you don't, you're either lying to yourself or a demon. 

There is no in between 

sorry I don't make the rules

Like, I get this series is literally a gay disaster talking to himself for thirty minutes or longer, but like- EMPHASIS on the 'disaster' part 😂

Like...Thomas, you're lucky you're such a goddamn bean, because GOD, I cringing so hard when he first started talking to Nico

Although, I too have apologized profusely for genuine mistakes and am a flustered bi mess around my crush sooo

😅

And god, Roman's "thirty = old man" jokes made me feel old...and I literally just turned twenty, like, come on, man!

Maybe that's because I was literally watching this ep after finishing my ACT and had been sitting with a bunch of high schoolers, with their tiny fucking desks and tiny fucking water fountains smeh

*clears throat*

Anyways, uh, we STAN Nico Pintrovert Florés in this house

Like

He gives me such big Carlos from WTNV vibes for some reason and this makes me sooo happy

and YESS, he's a WRITER

And he's??? So sweet?? A pure bean?? Just sits on his laptop at the mall food court all day, like a god-fucking iCON?? A Nightmare Before Christmas fan?? weARS GLASSES??

my hEART

*cries*

The fandom seems torn between "Nicomas" and "Karrot Kings" as a ship name atm—personally speaking, I'm casting my vote for the latter

*crosses fingers* please dont be another janus x remus multiple ship name issue guys, please please please I can't keep track of them all-

*clears throat*

On that note, I'm guess I'm gonna go try and whoo over my crush with carrots now. If THIS disaster can do it and make it actually fucking work, god damnit, so cAN I

Meanwhile, in hell, my brain's just screaming "CANON LOVE INTEREST CANON LOVE INTEREST CANON LOVE INTEREST-"

God, I hope Nico isn't just a one-shot character, he's too pure and Thomas and him are adorable gay Disney fans and I stan

Oh, I wonder how the other sides'll react to him.

Wait.

Oh god.

Oh god.

This ep just unleashed a new fresh hell of potential Nico x Sides ships, hasn't it?

Welp, time to prepare for ze incoming flood of fanfics, I guess. I'll get my umbrella and rain boots.

That last shot of Virgil during the endcard was so fucking ominous oh my god mom im scared can you come pick me up-

Goddammit, Thomas and Joan, I'm NOT fucking ready to be traumatized again, fUCK

I wish I wasn't a broke ass university student so I could contribute to Thomas's gloriously extra Patreon—both so I can support my favorite content creators who make this amazing blessed content and also, to join my boi Janus in fucking  destroying society by giving money to the people who actually deserve it, fuck YOU GOVERNMENT-

Okay. 

Okay. 

New headcanon time as to why Patton, Remus, and Logan weren't in the ep: they were helping Jan film that Patreon promotional video. 

Like

Remus directed it, Logan helped with the lighting and script, and Patton was just there as the cheerleader. 

The reason Janus made a dog with shadow puppets wasn't just to flaunt his deity status and prove how he is truly above us mere wretched mortals 

despite that being the absolute truth and we all know it, don't lie to yourselves

No, it was really him trying to do something cute and silly for Patton, because Moceit rights, daMMIT

*inhales*

noww 

guys, gals, and nonbinary pals

it’s time forr

the most wonderful time of the yearrr

WAITING FOR THE NEXT EPISODE

Step right up, folks! Hear ye, hear ye, my prediction for the next episode: Prinxiety v. Moceit! With special guest stars: Karrot Kings vibing in adorable gay and Intrulogical, bitter at being excluded aGAIN

Who will win? Who will lose? 

here’s a hint: we all will because in this sick twisted game they are no winners only losers-

Place your bets, folks! ✨

Haha im not readyyy~

tl;dr

this episode has cleared my skin, watered my crops, and ended my suffering—an adorable calm before the... angsty fucking shitstorm that’s coming far too soon. Prinxiety stans, enjoy your food. Place an 'F' in the chat for me and my fellow grieving Remus stans. Trashmas is the true OTP, but Karrot Kings is cute too I guess. I've only had Nico Florés for 24 minutes, but if anything happens to him, I'll kill everyone in this room and then myself. Purple eyeshadow Virgil makes me question my sexuality aGAIN, and happy gay disney prince rights y'all. Say a big ole 'fuck you' to capitalism by giving your local dapper snake moneys. Concussion makes brain go brr and imma go buy some carrots and be gay now.

psst hey @quarantinevibes2020​ you wanna join me in being disaster-y? i’ll bring my best gay stare and you bring the wine

Until next time, my lovelies! ~ Ches 🖤

swap personalities au. Jeremy is to be feared and puppet is an uwu. mike is soft no cuss man. Henry has a lorge soul and feels all emotions v much. thats all i got lol

Okay, this escalated into half an AU, so I’ll put a read more, because this really is long as hell. Tldr though, Jeremy is a horrible sadistic cunt using religion to justify his hatred for others and his bad treatment of them, Mike is constantly unsure of himself and tries to be nice but is fairly miserable, Phoney is the happiest guy on earth who LOVES life, Dave is a sociopath, but a well-adjusted, serious one, Marion is an innocent being constantly crying in his little box- And Henry has done a lot of mistakes in his life and is now stuck in his suit, his fear of life turned into nothing but mourning, while being tortured by one of his victims for all eternity. Frankly though, I’m still trying to figure out if their goals and moral stances would still stay the same if their personality switched, HMMMM- I’m having fun with this, this might become an actual AU. I just wrote out a segment as a writing exercise, heh. -

Fredbear’s was Jeremy’s favorite place. It wasn’t as much the attractions there, as it were the employees he worked with. Though, then again, there was one attraction he was REALLY fond of. Comfortable he sat on the music box, the melody being accompanied by loud and agonized sobs. They wouldn’t let him sleep. The box’s mechanism needed electricity to work, using the crank charged it all up, causing the soul inside immense pain. It was his favorite attraction, because the sound always reminded him of his father, back in his childhood. It was familiar. Nice. Comforting. “It’s not because I hate you.” He causally told the box, drawing another muffled howl from within it. “It is more because I’m bored. I want to listen to music. It is not my fault you are in there, you see? Not my fault at all.” Slowly he winded it up one more time, smiling to himself as he heard footsteps approaching. Not the Phone Guy, no. He was too prone to mind his own business. There was only one person who could step up like this. Hesitant, despite already being here. “What is it.” Jeremy finally asked, cold and snappy, suppressing another smile at the wince coming from the other employee. “I- I think you might- well- if you could- you know- I-“ “Hurry the fuck up. I don’t have all day.” Sharply Mike sucked in the air through his teeth, close to tears, but trying to force a smile. “H-hey, maybe you should- not- wind the box?” “Oh? Why?” “B-because the crying, it’s- I-“ He took a shaky breath. “Idon’tlikeit-“ “You don’t?” Pretending to be surprised, Jeremy put his hand in front of his mouth, “I’m SO sorry! You see, crying is actually quite the nice sound. It is the sound of being needed! But of course, a cruel man as you yourself would not understand how wonderful it is to bring comfort to other beings. And it is not like anyone is getting hurt. You are not trying to say the machines have REAL feelings right? Don’t be stupid.” “N-no, not-“ “See? Nothing wrong with that.” “But-“ “What is it with you? Why are you still trying to bother me about this? Are you having an episode again? Are you going to try to hurt me? I know there is a small part within you that just wants to HURT people. You disgust me.” Mike opened his mouth, but was incapable of saying anything. “Yes, that “demon”, that sometimes causes you to black out and wake up surrounded by nothing but agony. You are delusional with your talk about it being Fredbear. Maybe you should just accept that you are horrible and a danger to be around. Maybe you should just leave. Never come back. This world is better off without dangerous sinners like you.” Finally it was enough for Mike and he turned on the spot running off. Jeremy watched after him, disinterested. He wouldn’t do anything more exciting than that. Too much of a coward to take the last step. Though then again, he would tattle on him. Groaning the boy stepped off the box, looking back at it. The sobs have quieted down. The foolish soul inside still trying to keep ahold of its optimism really intrigued Jeremy. Sure, he did god’s work, trying to convince the soul to leave by any means possible- after all, nobody was allowed to hide from the fires of hell- but it was so utterly stubborn. Despite nothing being left, no inkling of a motivation, he stuck around. God must really hate him. Everyone in this restaurant really. But before he could think about it any further, from behind there was a small cough. He turned around, facing the owner of the location. It always took a second for Jeremy to remember it weren’t the man’s glasses that shined, but the eyes behind it. The Purple Guy looked down at him expressionless. “Did you harass Mike again.” It wasn’t even a question, he knew the answer. “No.” Fully confident he said. “But I would not expect a sociopath to understand the difference between harassment and a normal talk.” “… sociopathy is not depriving me of being able to understand and listen to my employees, Mr. Fitzgerald. Nor does it take my morals. I can still recognize your behavior as abhorrent. Why did I even hire you?” “Because you’re into small boys?” He grinned widely, then shrugged as though he hadn’t just leveled an abhorrent accusation at him. “Because I’m the only one willing to deal with Henry?” “… how about you do what you do what you were hired for then. Mr. Fitzgerald.” “Sure, sure. Oh, but maybe you should shortly check behind you, slightly to the right, where Phoney is putting a stack of party hats on fire and trying to put them onto his head?” He started laughing as William quickly turned and rushed off to save the wild Phone-headed man from probably damage, potential death. No way in hell that Jerry would tell him he was the one constantly smuggling in the lighters, since the grumpy guy at the price corner refused to do so. Instead he sneaked into the saferoom of the location, though he probably didn’t have to. Inside there only really was one thing. An old, slowly rotting golden suit. But that never fooled Jeremy. He might was surrounded by idiots, but so far the brain rot hadn’t hit him. “Well, Henry, how are we doing today?” The suit didn’t react. “Aw. Another day of no attention? What is it? Cannot even give me the littlest bit of appreciation for keeping you from breaking into pieces and making your existence even more painful?” Nothing came back. “… well then again, you probably think you deserve it. Which you absolutely do. Not even hell wants you. Nobody wants a child murder.” The suit’s clawed paw twitched, making Jeremy giggle in delight. “That NEVER fails. Fantastic. But is that all I am getting?” He proceeded to grab a bucket from the side, filling it with warm water and soap. “It’s really pathetic. You made that suit as your protection. Your shield from the world you cared too much about. You used the suit to play the big man, to tell people off, Fredbear was a rude bastard and it was the only way you could protect anything you loved. And now? The least you could do would be to go out there and bite all of these heathen’s heads off. But you won’t. Because Fredbear was just a suit and you’re just a coward.” Bemused he started to sprinkle water on the unresponsive suit. Washing, oiling, keeping it in check. “Too bad. I guess I have to wait until the locust descend to feast on their flesh during the end of days.” There was still nothing. Finally Jeremy quieted down, uncomfortable. Just wash it and get done with it. “… bad people deserve bad things. And bad things happen to bad people.” He quietly mumbled. “I’m not wrong with this. I’m not even that bad towards them. They would fucking kill me or worse if that would profit them. They are heathens without any sort of moral compass pretending to be all harmless and nice.” He hadn’t noticed Fredbear’s head slowly moving to the side to be able to look at him in his position. The chuckle made him snap up however. “… projecting… won’t protect you… from your shame…” “You- YOU-“ The boy squeezed the rag, soapy liquid running down his arm. Then he laughed, abruptly and harshly. “Oh NOW you are talking. To accuse me of NONSENSE. Meanwhile your friend William is broken up about your passing and you just sit here- like you COULDN’T if you WANTED. Shows how much you care. Just move on to the afterlife and take your punishment.” Once more there was nothing. Jeremy gritted his teeth, trying to control his temper. “You will NOT make me act in wrath. You will NOT drag me down. You will burn on your own, you creature lower than DIRT.” Outside Mike had finally calmed down, staying around Simon for a bit really had lifted his spirits again. There was just something about his unbridled joy about being alive that nobody could escape. But there was something he had to do. The customers had cleared out, so he could allow himself to sit down next to the box, without feeling bad about putting more pressure onto the other dayshift workers. “… h-hey. Can you… can you hear me? I’m- hey, how about- I might could take you out of there if you- if you would like to-“ The crying had subsided, but the lid stayed firmly on. “Nobody would mind! I think. I mean, I’m sure. Yes. Please, you… don’t have to be alone in there.” A weak voice sounded, muffled. “… no thank you.” “Ah- s-sorry. I just- I hate what is happening to you. I- I wish I could do something. I’m so sorry.” “… it’s not your fault.” “It sure feels like it though.” Gently Mike sighed. “Hey… I could… tell you a story maybe? I really want you to feel better…” There was hesitation from inside. “… can I tell you a story instead?” “Is- is it a nice one…?” “… no.” There was a short break. “But I hope you will listen to it anyways…” “O-okay. No problem. Not- not at all!” He quieted down to listen. From the distance, Old Sport leaned against the wall, watching on. Phone Guy attempted to sneak up, but was quickly frozen in place by a glare. It softened up however and he waved him over. “Phoney. Still alive?” “Alive and well and wouldn’t want it any different!” Happily the man agreed. “What about you?” “Eh. Neither truly happy nor truly alive, but still optimistic.” “What’cha looking at?” “… Mike. Kinda worry for him. He seems so unsure about everything.” “Oh, I’m sure he’s just nervous about this new job. We’ll get him out of that shell, and if we have to drag him!” “That… sounded like a threat.” “Oh. Oh no! I didn’t mean that!” Quietly Old Sport chuckled and patted his pal on the head. “I know. Just wanted to give you a heads up. I wouldn’t want to get you in trouble.” “Trouble? I don’t want any trouble, that’s true! But a lot of so called “trouble” is just an adventure waiting to happen!” “… sometimes. Not in this case though.” “Awww, that’s too bad.” Both of them looked onto the tormented smile on Mike’s face in the distance. Again Old Sport sighed and looked at Phone Guy. “Do me a favor and look after him, alright? I worry for him.” “Everything will work out. I promise! I’m the manager, it’s my job to take care of everyone! Even Jeremy. Especially Jeremy. Poor boy has some issues too. But nothing that can’t be fixed with patience and love!” “I take your word for it.”

A Buffy rewatch 3x19 Choices

aka everyone’s just dying to give each other a piece of their mind

Welcome to this dailyish text post series where I will rewatch an episode of Buffy and rant about it in 10-3k words. What you can expect: long run-on sentences and disjointed observations, often focused on one tiny detail about the episode. What you shouldn’t be expecting: actual reviews that make sense.

And I’ve been waiting forever for today’s episode to finally discuss some quality Willow and Faith feelings... And it turns out that it was just a 2-minute-scene all along? Still, we’ll be making the best out of those 2 minutes, folks.

There’s actually a lot going on in Choices, but I want to get the main rant out first, before I get lost in all the small details of it.

So... Willow and Faith.

Fun fact, did you know that that is actually the 5th most popular BtVS F/F pairing tag on Ao3? Right after the popular canon, the popular “it’s basically canon and you can fucking sue me” ship, the pairing of the two main female characters (shout out to the Wuffys, I got you) and the less popular canon ship.

Which... wasn’t really what I was expecting? I mean, I also wasn’t expecting #6 being Faith/Dawn (having a 2 fic-lead on the ultimate OTP because you’re all heathens), so I guess I know nothing.

Some of those switch though if you filter for the F/F category, look, I have charts:

(Meanwhile Buffy/Kendra has like 12 fics, you really are all heathens.)

Anywho, thanks for coming to my Ted talk about the math of Buffy femslash. Now, back to Willow and Faith specifically.

Once I thought about it, it did make sense that this is actually a popular fandom pairing I guess? On one hand, it’s a common denominator situation, as in note which characters pop up consistently on that chart... On the other hand, in this episode alone Willow taunts Faith to which she responds by punching her and threatening her with a knife... And that’s pretty much how foreplay works as far as Faith’s concerned.

Faith just likes it rough, okay? Remember the screencap I used for Consequences after Buffy punches her?

I rest my case.

But I’m already way off topic here. Because what I was actually planning on talking about initially was how Willow felt about Faith, and the source of those feelings.

I already pointed this out, but I feel it’s worth repeating - Willow’s dislike of Faith goes back to two episodes in particular: Bad Girls and Consequences. As far as I was able to discern this time during my rewatch, there were no previous signs of animosity between the two preceding that two-parter.

In Bad Girls, Buffy blows Willow off for their study session to go out with Faith, and starts rambling about how Willow and Xander wouldn’t understand anyway what she and Faith do.

Willow is deeply hurt and jealous... She actually blows Buffy off too in return when she tries talking to her at school in the next episode, and only listens once Buffy shows up crying at her doorstep not knowing what to do about the whole Faith killed a guy situation.

In the same episode, Xander lets it slip that he and Faith had sex... And Willow is once again obviously hurt and jealous. She even has a good cry about it in the bathroom.

And I guess that that seems like a stronger emotional response than how she reacts to Faith stealing away Buffy from her, but it’s still coming from the same place. Note her line in that episode when she acknowledges her biases:

I'm not the most objective, I know. I kind of have an issue with Faith sharing my people.

“Sharing my people” - she’s pointedly talking about both Xander and Buffy here.

And there is a specific kind of betrayal that she feels from Xander, and that’s going to translate to pretty much all of Xander’s relationship... But at this point, it’s not really about her wanting that relationship with Xander. She had the option and she rejected it.

Still, if Xander has that with someone else, that makes their shared experiences feel less special. It makes her feel like less special in his life. (Which unfortunately tracks with a lot of Xander’s behavior about how he’s always chasing the new, shiny and unattainable thing in his life.)

Meanwhile with Buffy, Willow is mostly supportive of her relationships... up until to the point that she feels like they’re taking up the space that she occupies in Buffy’s life. And that very much happens with Faith in those moments, as Buffy suddenly feels like she can’t share with Willow what she and Faith has. (I swear, I’m not even trying, these sentences just turn out this way.)

So... yeah. Willow is super pissed at Faith for having the audacity to try and take away her people from her, and then hurting the both of them.

And I guess we can see some of that same kind of jealousy with Faith (I can and I will read parallels into Willow and Faith’s characters, just you wait) and her whole thing with Buffy and Angel in Choices... Except it’s weirdly misdirected? Like is the Mayor and the show seriously trying to tell us that Faith is jealous about Angel not wanting to make out with her, when that whole thing was all about Buffy in the first place?

Really, Mayor Wilkins? Really?

Well, I guess he is evil.

Back to Willow though, we have this scene where she gets taken hostage, and after she murders her vampire guard with a pencil (amazing), she decides to get comfortable in the Mayor’s office and read through all 5 tomes of the Books of Ascension??? It’s such a delightful nonsense.

Of course, I’m definitely with her on the whole “knowledge is power” notion. Even if they were to prevent the Mayor from having this Box of MacGuffin, there’s no way to tell if that would actually stop the Ascension. But knowing what’s to come and what they could do about it? That’s a definite win.

The issue is that as Faith puts it, being caught red-handed while gaining that knowledge makes Willow some very strong murder material for the bad guys. She could’ve just put the books in a bag, and tried escaping with them, or get the hell out there the moment she discovered those sensitive pages.

But do you know what I think? I think Willow just wanted to have the chance to confront Faith. She was ready to die just to give her a piece of her mind.

Willow: It's way too late. You know, it didn't have to be this way. But you made your choice. I know you had a tough life. I know that some people think you had a lot of bad breaks. Well, boo hoo! Poor you. You know, you had a lot more in your life than some people. I mean, you had friends in your life like Buffy. Now you have no one. You were a Slayer and now you're nothing. You're just a big selfish, worthless waste.

That’s commitment.

Notice also how she highlights Faith having Buffy in her life and not appreciating it enough to keep fighting. I do feel like Willow is deeply offended by that. I talk about her jealousy a lot, but her commitment to the people she loves is usually her more dominant character trait. Feeling like Faith stole her friends from her hurt her; but her anger mostly comes from the fact that Faith hurt Buffy and Xander in unimaginable ways.

I guess this episode did give me a lot of Willow feelings.

Someone else who shared Willow’s need to impart some wisdom in the most inconvenient times was the Mayor. And honestly? I didn’t care a whole lot about it. Angel and Buffy has a million other conflicts that come before him being immortal.

Like, I get that it’s supposed to shake them out of their own little bubble a bit, and face the fact that they don’t really see a future together. I believe the phrasing I previously used was that being together prevents them from becoming the people they want to be.

Their initial exchange at the graveyard is kinda hilarious though. “You never take me to any place new” - I’m still laughing, ngl.

At the same time, Xander and Cordelia still appear to be having their bitter verbal conflicts. Which is weird, especially after Earshot, an episode that I praised for including Cordelia in the group once again. (I guess maybe Earshot was written with a different place in the season in mind for it initially? I know that it didn’t air when it was supposed to too, because of the school shooting aspect...)

Here, the two of them are once again out to get each other. Even Buffy ends up in the crossfires, as Cordelia aims one of her pointedly cruel jabs at her. Yikes.

But we also find out here that Cordelia is working in a dress shop now, so there’s that.

And this episode of course is also about everyone’s futures. Willow decides that despite being accepted into literally every school ever, she’s going to attend UC Sunnydale with Buffy. Not just to be with her, but because she enjoys saving the world and all that jazz.

Oh, Willow, if you only knew...

This of course also presents a welcome contrast for Buffy, who feels like she doesn’t have a choice but to stay in Sunnydale. It’s a really nice moment between them, as Buffy realizes herself that she too very much made that choice herself. Because that’s who Buffy is. Someone who could never turn her back on the people who need her.

Buffy:  I kinda love you.

We all do, Buffy. Just ask Oz, and his decisive ingredient smashing move that annihilated the whole argument about whether or not they should rescue Willow. (”That’s your future wife!” - me @ Alexis Denisof in that scene.)

Also, shout out at that whole Mission Impossible heist premise we got going on in this episode. I always appreciate a weird clash of genres.

Boss Battle: Vs. Sokumotaka 2

https://sokumotanaka.tumblr.com/post/161038682374/it-becomes-clear-just-how-far-the-white-fang-have

Oh god look it’s clear to me you people who keep sending these either can’t read or lack the ability to understand the situation going on in this show and how fucked up it is from a writing and social perspective.

Actually as we go on, we’ll see this is more of a case of you being incapable of understanding that one’s crimes does not justify another’s actions.

The whole “We’re not working with the evil side of the white fang would have been good cause RT is trying to emulate freedom fighting organizations and spitting on them. Literally did the underground railroad (Yeah remember how many innocent black people died to even get to that place to free themselves?) But ignore that miles and kerry can spit all over harriet tubman’s legacy. okay maybe I’m a bit annoyed about that but making the entire minority organization that originally wanted equality evil? Is a bad idea! http://glyndathegoodwitchofbeacon.tumblr.com/post/138657005354/the-white-fang

Mind showing us the connection between using a system of connections to lead freed slaves to freedom to a group that goes around killing innocent people and breaking up peaceful protests to attack humans for being humans? Because all I see is you trying to drag the writer’s through the mud and instead doing that to yourself.

And let’s take a look at that link shall we? The justification given for the White Fang’s actions is that they are treated like dirt by every human in Remnant. Not only is that not  a reason to kill people in the first lace (I should know, having gone through a  personal version of that before), not every human treats them that way. In fact, judging by how disdainfully Cardin is regarded, racism in current day Remnant is much like how racism is treated today: Prevalent but looked down upon. So that doesn’t excuse the White Fang’s actions against humans, let alone their actions of breaking up peaceful Fanaus protests like they did in Episode 1 of Volume 1 which cannot be excused by that. SO they have plenty of crimes that cannot be excused by what you give them.

So let’s talk about renegades: Adam torchwich a man who falsified a faunus white fang rally one where looking at it the faunus there weren’t bloodthirsty at all, in fact during his speech he talked about equality and overthrowing the government (remember the government that’s oppressing them.) and possibly replacing them with people who would actually give a damn about faunus rights and he tricked them into thinking a train/bomb was going to do it , not that it was below an inhabited city. So you wanna talk about lies then let’s bring him up too humans did their fair share. (Let’s not forget how he talked trash on the faunus race not the white fang but the *FAUNUS* during him and ruby’s last encounter. But I’m sure you’ll brush that off too.

... Who? IS it Adam or Roman? Because if it’s Roman than I can saw about how does this connect seeing as Adam was willing to blow up a train full of innocent humans in the first lace and agreed to work with Cinder when it benefited him. And if it’s Roman, the white Fang had to know what they were gonna do seeing as they had a train of explosives, a bunch of Grimm and tracks leading to Vale. And even then, I can point out that Roman never demanded the genocide of Fanaus, unlike Adam AKA a leader of the White Fang. And then there’s the fact that Roman is a villain and is supposed to represent the worst of humanity, not the majority so it’s not even justified that way.

Okay so we’re gonna base the entire white fang past present and future on a dumb “twirl my mustache oooh so evil.” scene? That’s asinine! Let us not forget again the white fang held peaceful protest (again which I support but you heathens only hear “Blah blah Racist.” again which I also stated the first time I brought up the white fang and even linked to post like this but ha who’s counting?) for “Despite being promised keyword PROMISED equality, the faunus were subjected to discrimination and hate.” -Blake belladonna

No one here is saying that. In fact, the very quote you have at the top talks about how the White Fang has fallen, showing that they were good once before. You’re the only person saying that they were bad past, present and future. We just acknowledged they have soured. And the White Fang ONCE held peaceful protest, they now actively BREAK up peaceful protest, meaning they now longer do that so the point is moot.

And yes, they were promised equality and they didn't get it. So the fuck what? You think that justifies the deaths of innocent people, numbering possibly in the hundreds if not thousands? A single innocent death is inexcusable and the White Fang has caused so much more than that with the attempted Train bombing and the fall of Beacon. Blake (that person you’re quoting) outright left them BECAUSE they were so murder happy. One of the most devoute members jumped ship because they got too radical. Says a lot.

And despite this (usually violating the terms of a treaty was to the writers justified to start all out wars and there has been wars on this that were *ahem* justified.) The faunus met this injustice with peaceful protesting for many many years so they reacted to this injustice for several years (double digits from what the show tells us) before retaliation.

Doesn’t matter how long they’ve suffered. The jewish people were enslaved by the egyphtans for centuries, the Christians were hunted and killed for centuries as well, the African Americans were enslaved for decades and discriminated against for decades more. It doesn’t matter how long your people has suffered: The killing of innocent life is never justified. And if I hear they deserved to die because they were human: That’s racist you asshole.

Way less than real life peaceful protesting last.

I can feel Martin Luther King Jr. rolling in his grave.

Think about this the white fang had justification for reigniting a full scale war for 20+ years but held back in favor of peaceful protesting, not to mention the literal murder of them because as the WOR stated “they looked different or threatening” so humans would hunt them down with NO again retaliation from the faunus until they stated “No we had enough.” and in the end what? got a small cramped island that’s mostly desert and lacking in resources? Yes what a gift for the murder of our loved one’s in which none of these people pay any consequences.

War is never justified because inevitably, innocent blood is spilled. Terrorism is never justified. Especially against a race of people which is what you are demanding. You are demanding that the human race pay for what they did to the Fanaus, even if said humans never did such a thing and even disagree with such a disgusting action. Those people who are all but on your side must pay because of their race correct? Sounds pretty racist to me.

So I mean if you want to say the white fang’s actions aren’t justified because they’re sadistic murderers, causing genocide well so we’re humans in that regard and no one reined them in when they shed so much blood so I think you sound like a hypocrite.  The humans aren’t justified for their actions either.

No one ever said that they were. Ever heard of the concept of “Black and Black morality?” Where neither side is right and it ends u as two assholes punching each other? That’s what this is you idiot. The world isn’t some squeaky clean Black and white place.

In the end I just think making a splinter group that wasn’t 100% twirl my mustache evil would have been realistic, smart and a good call especially since so many people can relate to the white fang’s want of peace and equality, it makes them more sympathetic than the humans who lied to them about equality, oh did you gloss over that too?

But there IS members of the Fanaus race fighting for peace and equality instead of genocide and oppression. Blake, Sun, Ghira and Kali: They want TRUE equality and REAL peace but you ignore that and think that the White Fang should have been this handsome group of freedom fighters right? Well, time for a life lesson: Fight an enemy long enough and you BECOME that enemy. You adapt their style, their attitude and their ways. It happens in real life: Deal with it.

Lastly let’s squash the idea right now that you can’t like villains (Let’s just call them that in case your thick skull doesn’t register that.) I’m sorry but after several of this same message from the same person? I think you’re kinda pigheaded. Anyway let’s squash the idea that you can’t like villainous characters, people like frieza from dbz who’s racist, people like S.U villains who view humans as trash and you jerks like cinder who attacked and is now using the white fanus for murder and stuff because before she took over there wasn’t a single murder only dust stealing but hey let’s not give cinder any blame she’s too sexy.

Ah yes but the White Fang were hurting people long before Cinder came around: She just gave them better guns. Before Cinder, Adam tried blowing a train full of innocent humans. Who forced his hand there? It had to be forced since Blake outright asked about the humans. It’s not like Adam wanted to kill every human he could find because he’s a genocidal bastrad who deserves to be put down like a rapid dog. It was never said that the WHite Fang didn’t kill people before Cinder and Adam tried to before Cinder so no excuses there.

But hey, let’s not blame Adam. He’s oppressed uwu

Christ! Do yourself a favor and just do what I do: Just say everyone on remnant is a little bit of an asshole. And again for the last time leave me out of it, I already debunked this same argument like 3 times come up with some new material.

Really? Because from where I am sitting, sick and in the middle of the night, I just tore your debunk apart in a matter of minutes. Kind of shows how shit your argument is at it’s very basis.

Considering the fact that people like Ruby and Jaune exist on Renment, people who have done nothing but try to help others, I refuse to say that. I will not hold them accountable for the actions of people they don’t know or agree with just because they share the same race. That’s stupid and wrong. Just like you.

I teared up reading Antoine's apology. Baby boy please continue to be open and honest with her, my heart can't take any more fights between you two 🥺 - LGL

Well I know I must be doing something right to be blessed with so many Nonny reacts in such a short time span. But well, LGL, darling, all I’ve got for you in return is a GIF….