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frost-queen · 3 months

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The moment I knew // part 9 (Reader!Bridgerton x Tewkesbury)

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Summary: An idle search for a certain book sparks up your interest about a particular set of art. The queen's ball is at your disposal as you finally might receive a clear answer. [ part 1 & part 2 & part 3& part 4 & part 5 & part 6 & part 7 & part 8 & part 10 ]

“Are you going to help me or not?” – Francesca asked, looking up from the book in her hand. You had been idling away at your home library. You were normally going to assist your sister in finding a book on French artist. Yet Francesca seemed to be the only one actually searching. While you idled away on the other hand. Deep in thoughts as you stared at the book back’s with a slightly tilted head. – “I am helping.” – you muttered out letting your finger glide across the back’s.

Francesca hummed unintrigued seeing through your false lies. She shut her book with a loud thud, startling you a bit. – “Just help me Y/n.” – she begged. – “The sooner we find it, the sooner we are out of here.” – she came closer to you. You jumped when she had slapped her book against your bottom. – “Fran!” – you called out in shock.

Your sister laughing loud. Clearly amused. – “Please Y/n a bit of help.” – she asked placing the book down on a stack of other books. You nodded walking boredly to a stack of books on the desk. You picked up the first one. A blue cover with golden pressed letters on.

“That’s clearly no French.” – Francesca commented from afar, having looked up from her book to you. You set it aside, looking at the next one. A dark green book with heavy thick black letters. Francesca was looking at numerous covers, holding two in each hand. – “Have you heard anything from him?” – she asked reading the back of a book in her hand. – “From who?” – you replied reading the back of your book as well. Francesca sighed loud. - “The Viscount.” – she answered casually with a quick smile. The mention of him made you act clumsy.

You wanted to set a book back as you knocked the stack of books over. One or two dropped on the ground. – “Sorry.” – you called out seeing your sister’s scolding expression. You quickly duck down to pick them up. One of them was tipped over. Standing on the edges, pages facing the ground. You picked up the yellow book as your eye fell on the title. The secret language of fanning. Your mind immediately got pulled back to the moment with Tewkesbury.

Seeing so vividly in front of you what Tewkesbury did. The same sequence, repeated. At the time you thought it was idle. Now you weren’t so sure anymore. Still crouched down, you tilted the book to read the pages. You ruffled through them. Seeing sketches of ladies performing a gesture step by step with writing by the side. Fascinated you stopped at a page. The secret language it was describing ‘how to let your company know you are uninterested’.

It made you snicker quietly. Turning a few pages you wanted to find the sequence Tewkesbury did. Perhaps his had a meaning too? Your pursuit of finding the true meaning of it took a heavy turn. Almost obsessive as you craved the answer. Was he perhaps also showing to you he wanted to leave your company? Was it something else? Did he try to say you were ugly? Couldn’t dance? Only saw you as a friend? You were almost going insane with the unknowing.

Eyes widened when your finger pressed hard on a page to stop it. Recognizing one motion of Tewkesbury’s. – “Y/n!” – Francesca called out, startling you. The book fell out of your hand as you jumped up, bumping the back of your head against the desk above you. – “Au!” – you shouted keeping a hand on your head as you slowly rose, minding not to hit the desk again while rising. – “Found it.” – Francesca exclaimed happily, showing you the book.

“Oh sorry.” – she apologized seeing you rub your head. Your head turned slightly, looking down at the book you were very eager to finish. – “Come we are finished.” - Francesca went over to you, grabbed you by your wrist and started pulling you out of the library. ‘I’ll come back for you’. You thought as you got pulled through the door. On your way out, you encountered Benedict in the hallway.

“Found it!” – Francesca said happily, holding the book up. Benedict took the book in his hands. – “Excellent sister.” – he replied giving her the book back. – “Now I can astonish my governess.” – she said feeling over the moon. You got dragged along again, trying to keep up with her quick feet, as you hoped much not to trip over your own. Benedict laughed at his adoring sisters.

Finally you had found a way to escape Francesca’s clutches. You loved her but she could be a too much towards you. She had always felt a strong push towards you. She confided with you on about almost anything. You were her most truest friend and beloved sister. You took the turn, leading you back to the home library. That itch of reading more of that book unstilled. Quickening your pace, you were almost panting. Panting with desperation to reach it.

So desperate you walked straight past your brother Colin without a proper greeting. He smiled wanting to greet you, his smile faltering when you walked straight passed him. Clearly too occupied in your own thoughts. Hands almost shaking you threw the door open. Finally your questions would be answers.

Finally the storm in your head would still. Yet you were greeted with a harsh stomp. Bluntly you stared at a cleared up room. All the books that once was stacked around on the desk. On the floor. On the small table. All gone. All neatly set back on the shelves where they belonged. You screamed loud out of agony. As if something was keeping you from knowing the answers.

Stumped and defeated you outed your emotions. Shouting, stomping your feet and swaying your arms to curse at the maids who cleaned up the library. Crying and sobbing, dropping down in utter despair. It would take forever to find it back. Sobbing loud, you remained in place. Crouched down as you held your knees. Your limbs felt numb and stiff yet you didn’t move. Grieving too much for a book. The library had gone dark.

Till the creak of the door and a light flickered into the room. A heavy set of feet entered the room as the light fell upon you. – “Y/n.” – Anthony said soft placing the candle on the small table near you. – “What are you doing here sister. It is bed-time.” – he told you kneeling down to your height. Lips pouted, you moved your position, throwing your arms around him and bury your face against his chest.

Anthony immediately responded by holding your arm and back. Kissing the top of your head. He didn’t need to know what bothered you. He only needed to know that you required his attention and love. – “Let’s get you to bed.” – he whispered, repositioning his hands. He picked you up, carrying you in his arms. You kept your arms around his neck, resting your head against his chest. He blew the candle out, leaving the library in the darkness.

He carried you up the stairs up till your room, where he carefully laid you on your bed. – “How did you find me?” – you asked as he was adjusting your covers to warm you. – “Colin told me, he saw you head for the library.” – he responded tugging you in. – “Good night sister.” – he spoke, giving you a night kiss on your forehead. – “Night brother.” – you responded. He left your room with a warm smile on his lips.

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“What are you doing here?” – you called out in shock. – “Is that how you greet your sister?” - Daphne replied with her hands on her hip. – “Apologies.” – you rushed out, curtsying before her. Daphne’s stern glare faltered, revealing her gracious self once more. She entered your room more. – “Mama has asked me to assist you.” – she spoke approaching you. She touched your chin, admiring you. – “It is just the queen’s ball.” – you told her, gulping soft at the hard glare from your sister.

Clearly you had said something wrong. – “It is not just the queen’s ball Y/n. It is the queen’s ball!” – she exclaimed letting your hair glide through her fingers. – “And you need to look your upmost best.” – she booped your nose making you flutter your lashes. – “If not for the queen, for a certain Viscount most certainly.” – she added nudging you playfully in the side. You could only stare at her. Your stare made her laugh. – “He’s but a friend.” – you told her. – “Uh-hu.” – Daphne said unamused and seeing right through you.

She turned you around, pushing you to your vanity. – “Now let’s make you diamond worthy.” – she whispered to you with a gleam in her eyes. You swallowed nervously, looking back at your own reflection in the mirror. Daphne cleared her throat loud when she stood at the top of the stairs. All your siblings waiting down below. – “Finally.” – Gregory said receiving a flick against his ear from Benedict. – “Au! What was that for.” – he called out.

Benedict was about to comment on it when Daphne cleared her throat, silencing him. Eloise rolled her eyes. – “You are always dramatizing everything Daph.” – she outed with crossed arms. Daphne ignored her comment. – “I present to you, our sisters.” – she spoke with a gesture. First Francesca appeared as you followed right behind her. Mama teared up at the sight of her glorious daughters. Each a pearl in their own way.

“Try keeping any men away from them now.” – Benedict joked to Anthony with a snicker. Anthony slapped his hand at him as Benedict avoided being hit just in time. Francesca and you went down the stairs to join the others. Daphne coming after you. – “I shan’t be present, but enjoy every moment. I remember I did.” – she told you and Francesca.

“I remember you tried to win over the prince.” – Colin commented with a smirk. – “At least I could attract royalty.” – she mocked back with a sarcastic undertone. Benedict and Anthony laughed at Colin’s dumbfound stare, unable to come with any comeback. You were all heading for the carriages as Daphne pulled you back to her, separating you from the others. – “Y/n.” – she started. – “Do not be content with watching from the side. Don’t lose it all when you let the precious time slip away.” – she went on as it confused you.

Trying to find the meaning of her words. – “Don’t keep fighting it and let yourself fall.” – she finished with a soft smile. She gave you a kiss on your forehead before sending you off. You got on the carriage with your brothers and Francesca. The words of your sister spinning in your mind. The carriage got in motion as it hobbled over cobblestone. Riding towards the palace for the queen’s ball. The highlight of the season as it was nearing.

Words were almost impossible to distinguish. The room filled and warm. Up on the balcony was someone observing the space below. A man overlooking it all. Tewkesbury stood by the railing. One hand on the railing as he attentively searched the belows. Many faces he saw, yet not the one he desired to see. In a corner of the room below, he saw his grandmother chatter with some elderly ladies. A bit more to the centre, he saw Enola make her way swiftly through the people.

Still there was no sign of you. He was almost becoming desperate. Hopeless that you wouldn’t be present. Hopeless that you perhaps already settled down for another. Groaning soft, he turned his head away in disgust. Not wanting to think about it. He sighed wanting you to show yourself. Then a group of people caught his attention. His immediate gaze fell upon your brother Anthony, coming in from the right. His second response was to look for you amongst them. There he found you, holding your brother Benedict’s arm. A relieved smile showed on his face. A weight falling off his shoulder.

Letting go of the railing, he made his way down the stairs to reach the belows. He needed to reach you. He needed to see your beauty from up close. Tewkesbury pushed a way through the crowd. – “Miss Y/n!” – he called out to get your attention. You turned your head, having heard your name, yet no familiar face was in sight yet. Till a lord passed and revealed you an approaching Tewkesbury. – “Miss Y/n!” – he repeated coming to a stop before you.

He grabbed your hand, lifting it up as he bowed his head near your hand. A gesture that made your sister almost lose her mind from excitement. – “May I have this dance?” – he asked only looking at you. You looked back to your brothers, looking for confirmation. Anthony shook his head as Benedict slapped him against his chest, nodding.

“We just got here.” – you heard Anthony speak to Benedict a bit annoyed when Tewkesbury took you with him. He positioned you in front of him. The music started as you greeted each other. Tewkesbury kept his hand above yours, guiding your arm to lift and lower gracefully. Turning his head, he repeated the same with your other hand. He then took your hand allowing you to spin underneath his arm.

With a firm pull, were you pressed closer to him. His hand on your lower back. It made you gulp soft. Tewkesbury smiling down at you. With one hand on his back, the other on your lower back, he swayed with you from side to side. Your dress swishing around. – “You look beautiful.” – he told you as you turned with him. He lifted your arm up again in motions, going higher and higher each time. Till you spun under his arm.

He let his hand slide down your wrist to your elbow as you lowered your arm to hold it up against his chest. Tewkesbury pressed his hand against yours, near his cheek, giving your palm a gentle push so you could spin. You spun back to him as he kept his hand on your lower back again. Swaying to the side. Taking your hand, he led it up and down as you approached and backed away.

A smile growing on your lips. You gasped soft when he grabbed you firm to waltz. He took his space waltzing with you. He let go of you with one hand. Holding your hand in his. You spun out, still holding his hand. Returning to him, he changed your hand to his other, where you moved across and spun out as well.

Giggling a bit, you felt like a princess. Tewkesbury moved a hand to your lower back, pulling you closer to his side. You let your hand join his on your hip. His other hand holding yours, stretched out. Pressed against his side, you looked up to him as you waltzed around. Tewkesbury grabbed almost desperately for your waist as the music picked up. Sweeping you up in the moment.

You set yourself off as Tewkesbury lifted you up. Turning a bit before he set you back down. Your eyes meeting as your faces were dangerously close. Gently panting in each other’s presence. Your noses almost touched when you circled around with him. Breaking the tense contact, he gave you a push to make you spin round. Till you went back to him.

The music fading out as the end of the dance was nearing. Tewkesbury and you circled around each other, staring at each other’s eyes. Slowly you stopped as the music stopped, letting out their last note. Tewkesbury and you greeted each other once more to thank one another for the dance. Out of breath, you felt hot. Overheated from the dance.

Tewkesbury took your hand, leading you away from the dance. He simply followed you as it seemed you were taking the lead. Guiding him outside as you needed some fresh air. If you didn’t have any fresh air, you thought you might pass out. The breeze was chillingly welcoming. The queen’s garden a dream come true as you overlooked it. – “I… I hope I haven’t given you any trouble from showing up unannounced last time.” – Tewkesbury spoke joining your side on the balcony.

Looking back at him, you shook your head. – “I hope my family hasn’t given you a fright. The duke can be intimidating.” – you chuckled out. Tewkesbury shook his head. – “Not as intimidating as my grandmother’s death stare.” – he joked making you laugh. You tried to stop laughing, remembering your manners. – “I shouldn’t laugh at your grandmother.” – you told him and yourself to stop being so foolish. – “It’s quite fine.” – Tewkesbury responded, leaning a bit closer to you. – “I laugh at her as well.” – his reaction made you snort loud. Which made you cover up your mouth for thinking you were acting wildly.

“I like your laugh.” – he told you. You lowered your hands. – “I like everything about you.” – he continued. You smiled shyly. – “You must have girls falling over themselves to get to you.” – you responded turning your head a bit away. – “Why did you choose me?” – you asked. Tewkesbury slightly furrowed his brows. He needed a moment, but knew deep down you referred to the night of the opera. He lowered his gaze. – “You laughed.” – he replied, making you furrow your brows.

“It might have been idle back then, but I assure it is not anymore. I’ve grown very fond of you Miss Y/n.” – he turned his posture as you followed so you were facing each other. – “Y/n Bridgerton, the girl who wanted to be a princess.” – he tugged a stray of hair behind your ear, his knuckles brushing against your cheek. – “I see one right now.” – he added with a whisper. You felt flustered taking a shy step back. You turned away not sure what the storm inside of you was saying. A mixture of emotions you couldn’t possibly name or count. You moved further away from him to the steps, needing more air. Tewkesbury followed.

You went down a few steps till you stopped. – “What did it mean?” – you asked. Tewkesbury frowned. – “What did it mean?” – you repeated turning around to him. Standing lower than him, you had to look up at him. – “The fanning.” – you questioned.

If your book wasn’t going to give you answers, you would ask him directly. Tewkesbury swallowed nervously. – “It meant something didn’t it? The secret language of fanning.” – you told him. – “What did it mean?” – you asked curiously, looking yearningly at him. Tewkesbury swallowed soft, before speaking with yearning eyes. – “It means I love you.”

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