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#tears of themis crack
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Mc: I found a skull :D
Artem: we are in a park
Mc: it's Human:)
Artem: how do you keep finding them?
Mc: good luck?
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worms-i-think · 1 year
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GUYS I HAVE SUCH AN IMPORTANT ANNOUNCEMENT.
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^baby :)
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actualbird · 2 years
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what if rosa and artem were in ace attorney
it's sadly been years and Years since ive played aa, so this means i only remember the dumbest parts. that being said, heres what i think itd be like if they had to go to court in ace attorney-esque absurdity
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mee-op · 2 years
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in a nutshell, vyn richter is just a jealous little shit
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roshie-writes · 1 year
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Most ridiculous wip name I've written (but don't worry this fic is crack): the von hagen family and the people who becomes a member of this family (somehow)
Yes, instead of working on my 8 other wips i start a new one that might or might not see the light of day idk.
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peachgea · 7 months
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laughing at the way these events tend to go:
- rosa and artem have somewhere to go for work
- vyn just so happens to be going there for business too
- marius just so happens to have a ticket because rich people/pax
- luke just so happens to have work that involves him getting a ticket
oh would you look at that no one gets left behind 🤣
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cujohcaps · 1 year
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empyrean’s touch pv
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jomteaaa · 7 months
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bakerlon crack part 2:
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VYN YOU DID NOT-- rip marius
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marius you need to up your game
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LMAO NXX ONLY HAS TWO STATES: either a chaotic mess fighting over rosa or rosa's dedicated fan group
reason why luke isn't in both crack posts is because he's a good puppy and wouldn't stir up shit UNLIKE SOMEONE WHOSE NAME STARTS WITH V *COUGHS COUGHS*
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lilydally · 2 years
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so i had a weird dream
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Nie Huaisang is that you?
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Mc: your being ridiculous Celestine, Artem doesn't have a crush on me
Celestine: (opening Artem's office door) are you sure?
Mc: those books could be about anything
Celestine: (holding up a book called dating tips) both of you are equally dense Mc
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worms-i-think · 10 months
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recurring themes 🥴
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NXX on Blind Tasting - Part 2 (Slight NSFW - END)
One of the rounds here have violent kissing that draws blood, please be warned
Still crack, still sorta OOC, still bonkers
This is the end, unless I feel like continuing it...
For some reason Artem insisted on blindfolding her this time. “I hope you don’t mind,” he murmured as he covered her eyes with his blue silken tie. “Or do you prefer Richter doing this for you?” There was a slight layer of anxiety in his words. “If so, I apologize…”
Rosa found the question interesting. “Hm? As long as I’m blindfolded, then it shouldn’t matter who does it, right?” She asked, bemused. 
Her senior secured the necktie with a tight knot behind her head. “Anyone could blindfold you, yes,” he murmured as he made a show of adjusting the knot, trying to prolong their time talking quietly between themselves. “Being your senior…I can’t help wanting to do this for you. Blindfolding in a team exercise” He cleared his throat. “There’s a certain symbolism besides the function of the act. I just feel compelled…as your boss, I was hoping we’d foster...” He took a deep breath. “...A certain amount of trust.”
“Huh…” Rosa was puzzled by his words. Was it the drink, or was he so shocked by her prank—the clownish makeup on his face—that he got kicked into excessive sobriety? 
Makes sense. Artem takes himself too seriously. She chewed on her lip. He’s immensely talented, and so he’s very much capable, but…
“Mr. Wing, you need to let go of some things, you know,” she said. “Like feeling the need to do certain things because you believe it’s the right thing.”
“I’m afraid I don’t quite understand what you’re saying.” He undid and redid the knot of Rosa’s blindfold.
“This is why I made you up as a clown for your dare in the King’s Game earlier.” Rosa let out a loud sigh. “Lighten up, boss.”
“Well, I—”
“Are you quite done, Wing?” Vyn cut in, rather testily. 
“Just about,” Artem replied, and under his breath muttered, “Slut.”
Rosa struggled to hide a snigger behind her hand.
===
Third Round
Rosa didn’t even get enough time to process what just happened.
After the very moment Marius announced that the third round was about to start, not even a few seconds had elapsed before rough, callous hands grabbed at her; with barely restrained heavy breathing his tongue forced her mouth open, seizing her kisses before she could even prepare herself... 
This crosses out Marius, at least, thought Rosa, as his explosive domination of her gradually drowned out the discerning, logical parts of her brain. I wonder if I guessed right…ah, god, but this is so…
The taking turned on Rosa so much that she started to feel a sensation akin to a faint buzz of static electricity crawling across her entire body—the tension so palpable, so exhilarating—and her thighs rubbed involuntarily as she lashed her tongue against the mystery aggressor’s with as much ferocity as his.
“Mmmph…god,” she murmured in between bouts of violent kissing, “I’m so…hhngh—”
She stopped herself from saying the word horny, for fear of accidentally breaking the dam and causing the man to take her right then and there in front of the others…not that she would really mind.
“Hey, ah—oh damn—” 
His arms pressed her close to him, so much that her body almost melded against his; what felt like his hard-on jutted against her stomach, fully reminding Rosa that yes, the little game had long crossed over to what is no longer just mild parlor-game spiciness; and that yes, the men are actually having a go at her in front of the others…which meant that her secret, debauched wish could become a reality, if she played her cards right.
Boldly she accidentally brushed her bound hands against the man’s stiff erection in his pants, making sure that the movement was minute enough not to be noticed by the others. This earned her a shuddering gasp directly beside her ear, and a small, hungry moan clued her in on his identity…
Oh dear.
The violence made sense, now.
“I’m—ah!” Rosa cried out. She was about to say her apologies, but her momentary teasing of hand brushing against the physical manifestation of his frustration set him off so much that he growled, and she could feel him biting, scoring her lips with his teeth. “S-stop,” she mewled. “It…it hurts!”
Indeed it did hurt, and Rosa could already taste copper spreading at the tip of her tongue. But despite the burning on her lips she found herself getting extremely aroused, and as soon as she recovered Rosa returned his savagery; drawing blood from his own lips, fully indulging herself with the tacit permission to inflict her overpowering passion—
But he suddenly pulled away, as abrupt as he started. “No, wait—” Rosa cried out after him. Goddamnit, it was getting so good.
Then, sounds of scuffling resounded in the far corner of the conference room. A cacophony of chairs being pulled, chairs being hurled, and what seemed like the dull thud sound of flesh hitting flesh was heard. 
It was the unmistakable sound of someone getting beaten. By several people at once. 
Surprisingly not a word was still spoken; everyone, even the one being beaten—possibly the man who just kissed her with so much fervor he made her bleed—did not talk, not even a peep; most probably in the interests of keeping Rosa from guessing who the third man was.
But it was too late. Even if he did not make that moan earlier, Rosa understood who it was that she had frustrated so much—especially after the spectacle of her making out with the first and second men—that he was driven into utter resentment for not getting what she promised him earlier.
“Welp, that’s taken care of,” Marius muttered. “Oh fuck…Missy, are you okay…?” 
The concern was such that Rosa supposed the bleeding on her lips looked worse than it actually was. “Um. Yeah. Don’t worry.”
“I guess it’s time to stop this—”
“NO!” Rosa cried out, stopping Artem before he could complete his sentence. “It was getting so good.” She licked her bottom lip clean of blood. “You guys just don’t appreciate the occasional rough…yeah.”
“Wow Missy,” Marius genuinely exclaimed. “Didn’t peg you to be this, um. Wild?”
“Ha-ha,” Rosa said, her tone flat. 
Afterwards she took a deep breath and said, “Luke, I’m sorry. I’ll make it up to you later, okay? Puppy?”
“So you think your attacker is Luke?” Vyn asked. 
“I’ve been yanking him around ever since the game earlier,” Rosa admitted. “I guess…I guess I got too much into the kissing with the other guys and, well…” she sighed.
“...That’s okay,” Luke muttered from across the room.
Third Round Guess - Luke
===
Fourth Round
Once again Rosa felt someone pat her lips with a piece of cloth, gentler this time around, possibly in an effort to dab away the blood still lingering on her lips. Firm, yet gentle fingertips wiped off what trickled down her chin, unintentionally leaving an electric sensation wherever his fingers made contact with her skin.
Eventually the cloth was put away; Rosa waited, once again, on tenterhooks for the last kiss to commence.
A long stretch of nothing followed.
“Uh…” Rosa fidgeted in her seat. “Um. Still there?”
She did not get any response. Of course. Him actually talking would give away who he was. But whoever he was, he was so quiet and still that she almost doubted there was someone in front of her, despite the looming sensation of someone’s presence.
Bound by the No Touching rule, Rosa instead tentatively reached out with her feet to check if there was indeed someone with her. 
Eventually her mule-clad foot made contact with a leg. Yep. Someone’s here. But is he too shy to…?
Considering that she had attributed the last three rounds to Vyn, Marius, and Luke, there was only one more person left. And judging by his inaction, it seemed that her guesses may be right, so far. Though she may have possibly mixed up the doctor and his student in the first and second rounds.
Goddamnit. If Artem doesn’t kiss me now, I’ll…
She was about to voice her demand when fingertips gently nudged her chin upwards; soft, silken lips planting a chaste kiss upon hers. 
It felt something like out of a fairytale, a stark contrast to the series of debauched, depraved, passionate kisses that lit a carnal flame within her. No, this time around what touched her lips was a kiss of a certain promise.
And the man pulled away. 
Once more, nothing else was felt. 
Footsteps were heard; the man had started to walk away.
That, apparently, was the fourth kiss. A respectful peck on her lips.
No. No, this would not do. Rosa was not a tender princess to be handled with care; that was the point she was trying to make when she subjected her men to various indignities in the previous games. “Wait—Mr. Wing,” she called out, at the same time declaring her guess who the fourth man was. “Kiss me, like really kiss me,” she said out loud, almost a command.
A few moments of silence passed, until Artem let himself speak. Rosa had already made her guess anyway, and it was right on the money. “That's all, really,” he said. “I’m glad you guessed correctly.”
Rosa shook her head vehemently. “No, that won’t do.”
“That’s how I kiss, Rosa.”
“Then let me lead you to how I like my kisses to be,” she said. “Come here, Mr. Wing?”
Another bout of silence. Then, after a few moments, “...Alright, then.”
Footsteps once again approached her. Seeing no point to the No Touching rule Rosa lifted her bound wrists to beckon at the man, feeling him up until her palms managed to cup his cheeks. “Kiss me, please,” she whispered, and Artem bent over to place her lips over hers.
As soon as their lips made contact Rosa lunged at him, pulling him down towards her by the neck; with a moan she demonstrated just how she liked her kisses to be: wholehearted, passionate, and hungry. Her tongue slipped inside his stunned mouth; greedily she indulged in her senior—in ways she didn’t know would be possible if it weren’t for the blind tasting game.
Eventually she pulled back, and Rosa said, “This is me, Mr. Wing. Artem,” she whispered. “See? Lighten up,” she repeated her words to him from before. “You really shouldn’t be reserved around me. I don’t deserve such courtesy.”
She then slipped the flimsy handkerchief binding on her wrists, and with freed hands she removed the blindfold covering her eyes. 
Squinting, Rosa tried to hold Artem’s gaze while filtering out the white-hot lights of the overhead LED. “Also,” she gave him a wan smile. “Unlike you, I don’t need to hide my perversion behind alcohol.”
Artem’s eyes widened, the clown-ish makeup dampening how shocked he was. “Rosa, what—”
He never got to finish what he had to say; Rosa—with all the strength that she could muster—tackled her boss to the cold, hard floor and started making out with him in earnest in front of the other three men.
As Rosa clambered onto Artem and straddled his hips, Vyn could only look on with an unreadable stare as he bit hard into his thumb.
Meanwhile Luke started to make his way towards the two on the floor, intent on breaking them up, but Marius had his leash, and yanked the feral detective well away from them. “Fucking hell, HEEL BOY!” Marius tugged on the leather strip hard, sending Luke toppling on his back and grabbing at the collar around his neck, hacking and coughing as he struggled to get loose…
As for Marius, well, he got to know a new side to his beloved Missy Lawyer. For better or for worse. 
Fourth Round Guess - Artem (Confirmed)
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Conclusion
“Oookay, well, that certainly backfired on us, I think,” Marius muttered as he eyed Rosa and Artem having what seemed to be The Talk in the other end of the conference table. He sullenly looked on as Rosa took out a packet of wet wipes from her purse and carefully rubbed away the makeup she had slathered onto her boss’s face.
“Remind me never to listen to your bright ideas again,” Vyn said from his seat across Marius’s, chin in hand, looking thoroughly dejected. “Though I did enjoy myself. A little bit. Perhaps.”
Before the tutor and student could wallow in their rejection Rosa clapped her hands, getting everyone’s attention.
She’s getting good at this, Marius mused. Give her enough time and she’d be stepping all over us. 
Or wait, she may be already doing it.
“So uh, were my guesses all correct? Or did I mess up somewhere?” Rosa excitedly asked. “Come on, tell me!”
“Might as well come out and tell it straight.” Marius stood up. Then, after taking a deep breath, he put on a bright smile and announced, “Missy Lawyer got all of her guess right!”
“Yaaaaay,” Luke muttered from his side of the conference table. He held a swollen cheek with his equally bruised hand.
Vyn merely reached for another paper cup to pour wine into.
Marius ignored the unenthusiastic reception of the other men. “So, in order, you guessed correctly: Vyn, me, Luke, aaaand lover boy over there.” He could not help but throw a half-hearted snipe at Artem. “So, uh, as promised you can ask for a favor from ea—”
Rosa raised her hand to interrupt. “May I?”
“Yes, Miss?”
“Can I change the reward to something else?” Rosa said, suddenly a little bashful.
“As long as you’re not going to ask for something huge like a mansion, then, it’s okay, I guess? Unless anyone has objections?”
None raised an objection.
“Alright then,” Marius shrugged. “What’ll it be, Missy?”
“Um…just the privilege to decide what the next team building activity is, and when,” Rosa said as she smiled brightly, the same bright smile she put on as she put the men through her whimsical punishment from the earlier games.
Marius’s stomach plummeted. Oh boy.
Rosa finally caught Vyn and Luke’s undivided attention, the two men turning their wary gazes at her.
And Artem merely looked smitten.
This is dangerous, Marius gulped nervously.
“Um. I can’t help it. You guys were so good during the tasting.” A sweet, shy smile danced on her lips. “Team building exercise is…I get to have all of you, if you get my drift.”
“Uh, Rosa,” Marius began, his fears slowly materializing, “What exactly do you—”
Vyn, however, had no such scruples when it came to being blunt. “My dear Rosa, are you perhaps suggesting we engage in group sex?”
A silence so thick fell, that they could hear the server chassis fans whirr from the adjacent server room.
Rosa, however, acted oblivious to their collective shock. “As to the schedule? Tonight.”
She then dropped her smile. “You guys would be idiots if you thought I wouldn’t be affected by what you all did to me.” 
Vyn, grinning, quickly pushed himself out of his chair and made his way towards her. “Why are we going to wait till nightfall?” He asked as he sauntered around the table, “I have serviceable rooms upstairs. Let us do it. Now.”
“OI VYN, YOU FUCKING—”
“Someone really did earn that Slut title, huh.”
“Unhand her right now, Richter!”
And team building had finally begun, in earnest.
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surely-galena · 1 year
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Zangr Stewart my beloved mysterious NPC!
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He thinks of the NXX as his companions! They are his friends in this lonely world and he trusts them enough to help them solve the secrets of the mansion :)
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fyodorscoolhat · 9 months
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peachgea · 10 months
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tot guys as silly moments
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