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othercat2 · 2 years

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Build a Life from Scratch Chapter 20 Snippet

The storm outside continues, the wind howling and rain battering at the shelter. You sit by Alter-Dave's side and try to get your head back together. The others are cleaning up and repairing the shelter all around you, and up above you can hear crashing noises that aren't always the sound of thunder. (It is not hard to envision the dogfight that must be going on up there. Sparring with Demoness and her Carrie bullshit is an Experience.)

Roxy eventually comes back and sits beside you, putting an arm around your waist. This is both weird, and weirdly comforting. Neither of you say anything for a while. "I fucked up too, in so many ways," Roxy had said a little earlier. "And I didn't even have a creepy haunted puppet telling me what to do."

Remembering her words to you about Cal don't lead to a kneejerk "Lil Cal is awesome," this time around. You're either finally free of the tag phrase, or whatever splinter that keeps saying it is choosing to be silent at the moment. You give yourself a kind of inward poke--and get poked back. The splinter-self is a shadow inside your skin, watching Alter-Dave, not saying anything, just feeling this wordless anxiety that shivers along your nerves. You shiver for real, and Roxy's arm tightens around you.

"Hey," she says. "What's going on in there?" She taps your temple, and you push her hand away...gently.

"Are we having a feelings jam here?" You drone. You're trying for a monotone, but the one corner of your mouth is tilting a bit, and the smile fucks up your intended demeanor and tone. You sound...affectionate, you think. That might be a thing you're actually feeling right now. (It comes to you that you've missed her, you really have. Her being here...brings a strange kind of relief.) "Here in public? Where you'll give our fine trollish traveling companions heart palpitations?"

Roxy snorts at you. "They'll survive the experience," she says.

#homestuck #build a life from scratch #fan fic #bro strider

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awesomesuperherowanted · 7 years

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Dilaurentis-Fields: Being you

Her arms and legs moved in unison, propelling her body through the water. She raced with such ease that Emily couldn't help but admire her. Emily had convinced her to do a time trial, just to see if swimming would be something she might consider, secretly hoping her daughter would inherit her love for swimming. She figured it didn’t hurt to give her a gentle nudge in that direction. She glanced at her stopwatch and realized Lily could be really good, her time was better than many of her top swimmers.

She and Ali had agreed that when it came to the girls they would allow them to choose what they wanted to pursue. Lily never showed any interest in sports. She preferred to spend her time dabbling in the arts and writing music. Emily had then moved onto Grace, her being the athlete of the two, unfortunately she viewed swimming as a way to relieve her sore muscles. She used it for therapy and recreation, she didn’t view it as an actual sport.

This, however, changed things. Lily was good enough to go to the next level in the sport. If she trained she could easily be their fastest swimmer by the time season rolled around. Lily tore off her goggles, trying to catch her breath, she caught a glimpse of her mom's face and her heart sank. Her mom looked so excited, Lily knew she must have done well. She had wrestled with the idea of doing this, she didn’t want to give her mom false hope. She only agreed to it because her mom had asked, she didn’t have the heart to tell her that she wasn’t interested. Lily knew she should have tanked the time trial, but she didn’t know how to not give 100 percent. She took a deep breath, swimming was just a way for her to spend time with her mom.

Lily climbed out of the pool, grabbing her towel, she walked over to her mom asking, "Well?" Even though she already knew she killed it. Emily smiling eagerly, she praised her daughter, "Lil that was really good, I mean really good. Phenomenal even."

Lily rolled her eyes and droned, hoping to temper some of her mom's enthusiasm, "I’m your daughter so you have to say that. You're biased."

Emily shook her head before reiterating, "No really... with a little bit of training you could be competitive - as in collegiate racing competitive."

Lily, eyebrows raised, retorted, "Seriously mom? I'm 15 and already you have me in college? I'm going to be a sophomore, I still have a lot of time before you break out the C-word."

Emily stood, hands on her hips as she lectured her daughter, "Lily Dilaurentis-Fields… It is never too early to think of the future. Before you know it, you'll be graduating and you'll be wondering what you're going to do next."

Lily grabbed her gym bag, she tossed it over her shoulder, "Okay mom, you go map my future and I will go change." With that she headed off to the showers.

The car ride home was silent. Lily knew her mom wanted her to take up swimming, and she knew eventually they were going to have to talk about it, she just didn't want that to be now.

Emily glanced at her daughter. She wanted to push Lily on this subject, but she knew her daughter. If she pushed, Lily would shut down and there wouldn’t be a second conversation on this. Emily was sure if Lily just took some time she might give it a chance.

Ali watched as the two made their way into the house, both slumping as if the weight of the world were on their shoulders. Ali wondered what was going on. Lily walked past Ali, she asked, "Where's Grace?" Ali answered, "In your room I think."

Lily half smiled and headed off to find her, she figured Grace would know how to handle all this. Once Lily disappeared down the hall, Ali turned to Emily, before she could ask, Emily reassured her, "She's fine. I just asked her to think about swimming for the team."

Ali frowned, she lowered her voice, "Em…” She looked at her disapprovingly, “We said we would let them decide." Emily didn’t say anything. Ali stared at her, finally Emily caved, she threw her hands up in frustration, "I know, it's just... she's good Ali, I mean collegiate track kind of good."

Ali walked over to her, she smiled before saying, "Of course she is, she's your daughter, BUT you have to let her decide what she wants to be good in."

Emily argued, “But she’s a natural. Imagine us at an olympic game cheering our daughter to gold. I mean, who wouldn’t want that for their daughter?”

Ali just stood there, she knew Emily would eventually see it her way. Emily looked down the hall, she knew Ali was right but still, she sighed, "Ugh, I know, I know… it's just... why couldn't she like it? I mean Grace is so much like you, would it be so bad that Lily excels at something I excelled in? Would it be so bad if I wanted my daughter to be the best?"

Ali softened, "Lily is like you, that's probably why she agreed to the test. She doesn't like swimming competitively, but like you, she couldn't hurt your feelings so she did it anyways. Now your daughter is probably in there trying to figure out how to still do what she likes without making you feel bad."

Ali looked at Emily, she continued, "I know this because that's what you would be doing and she is 100 percent a miniature version of you." Ali leaned up and gave her a quick kiss, then she pointed her towards the girls' room and commanded, "Go… talk to your daughter." Emily scowled.

She turned and headed back to the kitchen as she yelled over her shoulder, "GRACE can you please come out here and help me with your brother?" She tilted her head, motioning at Emily to go in. Emily hesitantly walked towards the room.

Lily had bee lined straight to her room. Grace was sitting on her bed, tapping away at her tablet. Lily walked over and dropped down beside her.

Grace glanced at her curiously waiting for her to speak. Lily took a deep breath, she turned over and said, "Mom wants me to join swimming."

Grace gazed at her, confused, she asked, "I thought you hated sports?"

Lily picked at the pillow, she replied, "I don't hate it, I just ..." she let her voice trail off.

Grace answered for her, "Don't like it."

Lily nodded, she lay on her back, her voice a mere whisper, "Yah, and now mom wants me to join and I feel bad if I say no."

Grace nodded, before reassuring her sister, "Mom will understand. Just tell her you don’t like sports. I’m sure she knows you don’t. It’s not exactly a secret."

Lily shook her head, "You didn't see her face, she looked so hopeful. She’s going to be crushed. How would you feel if you were a star at something and neither of your kids cared for it?"

Grace reassured her sister, "Mom wouldn't want you to do something you didn't want to do. You know that. You’re being overly dramatic." She poked her sister, before laughing, “And you say I’m dramatic? I doubt mom will disown you just because you don’t want to join her team.”

Lily smiled, she knew her sister was right, she just couldn’t help feeling bad. As she said that Ali's voice cut through their conversation. Grace nudged her sister, "Just tell her… you’ll be fine," she got up and yelled, "COMING MOM!"

As Grace disappeared through the door, Emily knocked, entering, she asked "Got a moment?"

Lily sat up and nodded. Emily plopped down beside her, "I owe you an apology."

Lily's brow furrowed in confusion, she looked at her mom, "For?"

Emily gave her a small smile before continuing, "For pushing my dreams on you." Lily shook her head in denial, "Mom you didn't."

Emily placed her hand on her daughter's shoulder, "It's okay, I know you don't want to join the swim team."

Lily stared at the bed. She could feel the sadness in that admission. Her mom continued, "I wish you would consider it, but I realize you are good at so many other things so you shouldn’t limit yourself to just one."

Lily snorted, her mom laughed before continuing, “No really, you shouldn’t limit yourself. We would never want that.”

Lily mumbled her apology, "I'm sorry mom. I know you wanted me to follow your footsteps, but…”

Emily finished her sentence, “You don’t like sports. I know.” She shook her head and smiled, “It’s okay, I know, you may not want to be an olympic swimmer, but I’m sure you’ll be the next…”

Lily chimed in, “Bach? Or how about Van Gogh? Or how about a combination of both?”

Emily laughed, “Sure, but I think Lily Dilaurentis-Fields is already pretty awesome.”

Lily pushed her mom, giggling, she teased, “Wow mom, any cornier?” She hugged her anyways. She never had to worry, her moms always believed in them.

Emily smiled down at her, “Better be careful, before you know it you’ll be grown and proving me right.”

Lily held on to her mom. For the time being, she was still only 15 and the world was still a mystery, for now she didn’t have to figure out what she wanted to be, she could just enjoy being who she was.

#emison baby #Emison #lily dilaurentis fields #grace dilaurentis fields #Alison DiLaurentis #Emily Fields

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