#take votes: what happens to jimmy from here on out?
Text
poisoned rats in a pot of grain - ch. 9
Masterlist - Previous - Next
y'all i've had this planned out practically since the beginning. i've known how this battle would go for literal months. really happy to finally be here :)
cw: violence, blood, death, dehumanization
~
Jimmy’s awoken quite suddenly in his cell (the door opens and he’s on his knees, he’s good, he’ll go where they want him), four guards filing in. One of them unlocks his handcuffs, another tosses the Canary costume onto his bed. He understands easily enough—his master wants him out in a fight, right now.
He wonders what kind of fight. What he’ll be expected to do.
He’s murdered two people at his master’s command since the first, a woman and another man.
He heard once that killing never gets easier. It’s always just as difficult to take a human life as it was the first time.
Whoever said that was a liar.
Jimmy’s killed three people, and he thinks less and less about it with each scream he hears. His master is pleased with him, and that’s all that matters.
Jimmy knows that if Xornoth tells him to kill today, he won’t hesitate.
The suit has more buckles than his bumbling fingers can manage, so he gestures to those and is relieved when a guard steps forward, helps him buckle up the suit while he does things like sort out the harness of the glider and pull the boots on. It’s the fastest he’s ever put this on, he thinks, even though they shove his hat on without giving him the time to clip it in place.
They attach his leash to his collar, lead him out of the room and down the hall, not toward the meeting room but instead the throne room. His heart hammers in his chest—he hates it in there, but he’ll survive. He’s not in trouble if he’s in his Canary suit, his master is just wishing to meet him there.
Sure enough, they lead him straight to the throne instead of to the covered dog crate, shove him forward. His master is reclining there, takes the leash, loops it around their wrist twice.
Jimmy stands uncertainly for a moment, waiting for his master to rise. They don’t, only gesture to their knee. He drops instantly, presses his chin up to them.
Something’s happening. This isn’t a normal meeting, this isn’t an average show of intimidation. The fight must be coming this way.
Jimmy’s right, because within minutes, there’s sounds—more than the shifting of the dozen guards shifting at the other end of the room. A door in the hall opening and closing, followed by footsteps landing on all the creaky floorboards coming from the hall. Xornoth holds up a hand, stops the guards milling around the room from seeking it out. Soon the sounds cut off, and suddenly there are two people being dragged into the room who have no business being here.
One of them is Major, mouth twisted into a snarl as he shoulders the guards holding him.
The other is Lizzie.
Jimmy can’t breathe for a moment. It’s not just Lizzie, it’s the ocean villain. Lady Shadow, or whatever she’s called. She’s only been involved in one fight with him, and he’d never had the time to properly look at her, but now she’s just meters away and mask or not it’s Lizzie.
Lizzie, whom he had presumed dead.
Lizzie, who had disappeared years ago with no trace.
Lizzie, whom he’d last seen over their parents’ dead bodies, the house burning down around them.
Lizzie, his sister.
He’s missed her. He hadn’t realized until now, until here she is, right in front of him, hair longer and eyes harder and wearing a mask, but his sister all the same. He’s missed her so desperately that it aches, more than it has in years, years in which he had grieved her and moved on because moving on is all he ever does, isn’t it?
His master is playing with his hair and the familiarity of it grounds him, pulls him back into the situation at hand. Jimmy breathes, breathes through the yank of his hair, and settles back into being a pet, though his eyes never leave Lizzie’s. Hers flick from him to Xornoth and back again, paying attention to whatever his master is saying.
Then Xornoth unclips his leash and says his name and Jimmy looks up, waits for instructions. His master tells him to keep the ocean woman out of the way.
He can do that.
Jimmy dives at Lizzie and—the guards jump aside as his arms wrap around her—barrels her into the ground. They roll for a moment—an explosion of sorts from Xornoth’s battle rattles Jimmy’s teeth—he shoves himself up to his feet, sways, then runs.
He’s got to keep her distracted, and distracted means she’s not teaming up on his master with Major. And since he really doesn’t want to hurt her, he needs to pull her away from the fight.
He doesn’t even make it out of the room before water hits him in the back, sending him down. He rolls with it the best he can. It once was second nature to pull a quick kip-up to get to his feet, but now, weakened as he is, he has to pull himself up from hands and knees.
He manages to shove Lizzie to the ground, but her water tugs at his wrist in a way that chafes at the ever-present scabs there. He bites his lip hard, somehow pulls free. A wave of his other arm and a burst of power sends five guards to their knees, electrocuted by their own batons malfunctioning. Handy.
Jimmy leans against the wall for a moment, closes his eyes for the adrenaline to flow through him—
The wall collapses under him and Jimmy knows he’s going to be punished for that, but for now he just stumbles through the wreckage, out of the room and into the long hallway, his boots leaving white footprints in the wood polish. Lizzie’s following behind him, good—it’s his job to keep her away from his master.
He holds her off the best he can for as long as can, darting from place to place in the hall and slashing with the long knife pulled from the inside of his coat when she gets too close. He doesn’t want to pull out his throwing knives, he doesn’t want to lose one or give his opponent an extra weapon, usually he only uses them with plenty of room to dodge if a knife is thrown back in his direction but in this enclosed space—
Lizzie tackles him to the ground, his head knocking against the leg of an end table and his knife flying from his loose grip. He struggles, but his limbs feel like lead with her pinning them down—he hasn’t eaten in who knows how long, he can’t believe that he’s gotten more than a few hours of sleep recently—he’s not good enough, he can’t do as his master commanded—
Lizzie’s entire weight is atop him, pressing into bruises and cuts and his bad hip clunks in the socket and Jimmy can’t help but cry out. He’s not winning this fight. He squints his eyes shut, turns his head, waits for her to knock him out—
“You killed my parents,” Lizzie growls, and Jimmy’s heart crumbles into pieces.
It’s been a rough day at school, from all of Jimmy’s homework getting soaked in a freak water fountain incident to opening the gym closet to find all of the sports balls had deflated.
It’s been two months of the same, and Jimmy is sick of it.
To come into a power so late isn’t unheard of, but it’s incredibly rare, so his parents had taken him to get bloodwork done after a week of unexplainable accidents. At first, the whole family had been excited—they celebrated with a cake and streamers when the results came back positive, Lizzie leaning into the fish tank to tell Jory the good news. But soon enough, exhaustion at everything in his life going wrong sets in, and Jimmy can’t help but feel depressed. Lizzie grows moody, shuts herself in her room after school every day, yells at Jimmy when the power goes out for the sixth time that month. His parents become more and more tired, assure him that it isn’t his fault through strained smiles, start looking into powers counseling to see if maybe someone can help Jimmy learn to control it sooner than the natural course seems to be taking (which is strange, he shouldn’t be this out of control after two months of trying, but he’s even worse than when it started).
It’s all thrown out the window today, when Jimmy gets home, already stressed, to find both his parents sitting at the dining table, talking in low voices.
They’re going to send him away. He knows it before they even say anything, because his father’s been crying and his mother has a notebook before her, fond as she is of pros and cons lists.
Jimmy sits wordlessly across from them, already stressed and tired, already resigned to leaving his family and his friends and his home, when the oven bursts into flames.
His brain kicks into overdrive as his parents both shout, he can't even think of what to do—
And then they go still, mid-stride to the kitchen, faces looking funny. Without any sound other than a strangled gurgle from his father, they collapse.
Jimmy’s on his knees in a moment, searching for a pulse—nothing. Nothing. Nothing. He starts CPR, he’d learned it at camp years ago, he screams for help but no one hears and his mother’s body jerks under him with no movement of her own—
The door opens and Lizzie’s there, staring at Jimmy and their dead parents and the burning kitchen.
Lizzie runs, right back out the door, runs until Jimmy’s certain that his calls don’t reach her anymore.
Jimmy runs, too, before the fire department arrives, stopping to take nothing but his backpack.
He sees his parents’ obituaries in a newspaper four days later.
He never sees Lizzie again.
He doesn’t know what to say to her now, her eyes burning with anger as she presses him into the floor. He knows what he’s always wanted to, what he’s imagined telling her so many times, but his voice isn’t his. He can’t speak without permission, can’t speak without prompting, the words that fall from his lips belonging solely to his master.
Maybe he can steal a few words, because this is the first time ever that something actually seems worth any punishment to follow.
Lizzie presses her forearm down against Jimmy’s throat for a moment before pulling back the weight—a warning. “Say something, Solidarity,” she hisses. “Say something before I kill you.”
And Jimmy swallows, then forces himself to speak.
“I’m sorry,” he croaks. It’s easier, somehow, than speaking for his master. Lizzie slaps him, hard, across the face. Jimmy winces at the burn of it, but forges on. “To you, Lizzie, and to mama, and to dad—I’m sorry.”
Lizzie freezes, arm once again pressing down on Jimmy’s throat. She stares at him, searching his eyes, even as Jimmy chokes and tries to breathe more shallowly.
“It was an accident,” she murmurs, trance-like. Jimmy nods, but forces out,
“Still—my fault.”
Lizzie opens her mouth, about to say something else, then jerks. Electricity courses through her body, shocking along Jimmy’s skin where they’re touching. Her mouth goes slack and eyes go wide with pain, then there are rough hands pulling her off and forcing Jimmy to his feet. He stumbles a bit, finds his footing, lets the guards drag him back to the ballroom.
Xornoth is watching from the other side of the room, and on the ground, Xornoth’s boot pushing into his chest, is Major.
Evidence of a fierce (if short) battle surrounds them, spikes of ice and splatters of red everywhere. Major is in rough shape—blood drips out from under his mask, his supersuit is torn in several places, his eyes are hazy and his breaths coming fast. He pushes futilely against Xornoth’s boot, but his hands fall back to his side after just a moment, worn out.
“Pet,” Xornoth commands, their voice echoing across the room. “Your opponent got the better of you, is that so? Were you not meant to keep her distracted?”
Jimmy bows his head, heart leaping in fear. He’s ready to accept his punishment. He was bad, he messed up, he needs to be corrected.
He hears the smile in his master’s voice when they say their next words. “Before your punishment: an example, for my dear brother, of what happens to those who oppose me. Pet—kill her.”
-
The fight is quick and bloody and wordless, despite Xornoth’s words of business to take care of. It happens so suddenly that Scott quickly becomes convinced that for all these years that they’ve been engaged in a rivalry, Xornoth has been pulling their punches. Before he knows it, he’s on the ground, breath whistling through his broken nose, trying and failing to roll out from under the boot pressed into his chest.
When Xornoth commands Solidarity to kill, Scott can’t bear to watch, but can’t tear his eyes away. He hasn’t known Lizzie for long, but long enough that he doesn’t want to see her dead.
He wonders, briefly, if Joel’s okay. What will become of him if Lizzie dies here.
The two guards shove Lizzie away from them, leaving her shaking like a newborn foal trying to stand for the first time while the forest burns around her.
Solidarity tackles her to the ground without a moment’s hesitation.
Scott chokes back a cry—somebody’s going to die here, there’s no stopping it—he’s alone and his body aches and Solidarity is going to kill Lizzie or she’s going to kill him—but—she isn’t fighting back. Lizzie isn’t fighting back.
Lizzie’s awake, she has to be awake, but she doesn’t move to defend herself, even as Solidarity slams his fist into her face again and again, even as he lifts her up by her hair and slams her back into the ground.
He wraps his hands around her neck, and Scott wants to close his eyes because he can’t watch, poor Lizzie, poor Joel, poor Solidarity, everything’s gone wrong just as he knew it would, and now that Xornoth has him they won’t ever let him go—
Solidarity freezes. Xornoth hasn’t told him to—Xornoth has done nothing to stop him, which doesn’t make sense—if he squints—blinks away the haze in his vision—
Lizzie’s saying something. So quiet that Scott can’t hear it, but she’s definitely speaking. Whatever she says, it makes Solidarity release her and stagger back, away from her. He looks down—at his hands, at the blood spattered across his knuckles.
“Kill her,” Xornoth repeats, snapping their fingers for emphasis.
Solidarity looks up at them, then to Lizzie, prone on the ground, then back to Xornoth. He raises an arm after a moment, hesitantly points at Lizzie.
Xornoth scoffs. “Yes, you idiot,” they say. “You already started the job. Kill her.”
Solidarity’s arm, still outstretched, wavers. He remains, stockstill, in the middle of everything.
Xornoth is about to speak again when Solidarity lets his arm fall.
“No.”
The word is broken, hoarse, barely audible, but it falls from Solidarity’s lips as clear as anything. Scott doesn’t know what to think. Is he breaking free of whatever mind control Xornoth has him under?
The boot presses harder against Scott’s chest and he chokes, all thoughts flying from his mind—he can actually feel his ribs bend under the pressure, that can’t be good—
When Xornoth speaks again, their voice is low, serious.
“What did you say to me, pet?”
Solidarity flinches, but his next words are stronger, louder. “That’s my sister.”
Scott blinks. She—what?
“Pet—”
“That's my sister,” Solidarity repeats, voice shaking as he takes a tentative step forward. “I’m not going to kill her. I’m not. You can’t make me.”
“Oh, can’t I?” Xornoth says, their voice shaking as well—but theirs is barely repressed rage, rather than the fear that colors Solidarity’s. “Kill her now, or spend a week in the cage.”
Solidarity’s eyes flick to the side, to a sheet-covered rectangle up on the dais, but instead of acquiescing to Xornoth’s command, a horrible, unsmiling laugh tears from his throat.
“The cage,” he spits, taking another step forward, then another. “You made me into exactly what you said, you know that? I’m just a mutt, a mutt that whines for your forgiveness—” his voice is frantic and fast and rising with every word, his eyes wild, the air is veritably crackling around Solidarity and Scott’s breath is stolen from his chest as all he can muster is fear— “you took everything from me to turn me into your loyal pet—my voice, my face—do you want my name, master? Or is pet my name now, no more Jimmy, nothing but your little bird—”
“Pet—”
“You took everything from me!” Solidarity screams, and Xornoth—Xornoth flinches. “I had nothing and you took that too, and now you want my sister and you can’t have her!”
Tentacles whip up from the floor, reaching for Solidarity, but they shrivel before they can touch him as he keeps stalking forward. The lackeys who are still in the room double over, clutching at their heads. Scott can hardly breathe, can barely feel anything but Solidarity’s utter rage.
Solidarity is close now, mere feet from Xornoth and blearily—the pressure on his chest increasing with each passing moment—Scott realizes that they’re the same height.
“You made me like this, master,” Solidarity mocks, one hand raised. “You broke me! You know what happens when you beat a dog past its breaking point? It bites.”
Solidarity hurls forward, but before he can collide with Xornoth, the villain collapses, falling forward and off of Scott.
Scott rolls to the side, coughs and coughs as he gasps for air, each cough sending throbbing pulses through his broken nose. He hadn’t—what?—nothing today has gone the way he’d expected.
He catches his breath, pinches his nose, spits up a little blood that had dripped down the back of his throat. He can call an ambulance, probably should . . . his nose has been broken too many times to count, he needs to get it set and preferably professionally or else it’ll heal crooked—
What on earth is he doing? Solidarity is right here, Xornoth is right here—the fight is still going on, he can’t just check out like this—
He looks up, head sending a fierce burst of pain coursing through it at the movement. Sure enough, Xornoth is right beside him—on the ground, limp, eyes closed. Solidarity is kneeling beside them, masked expression unreadable, two fingers pressed to Xornoth’s neck, waiting . . . waiting. . . .
It’s still a fight. He still has to be ready to take Xornoth down at any moment. So, instead of resting his head back and closing his eyes and just breathing like he wants to, Scott sits up, body protesting, and crawls on his hands and knees to be at Solidarity’s side.
He reaches around him, takes one of Xornoth’s wrists in his hand and tugs up the sleeve, presses two of his fingers to it—Now that he’s looking, though, he knows. Their body is too still, eyes shut too loose. He isn’t going to find a pulse.
Xornoth has dropped dead.
The thugs are gone. Lizzie, somehow, is standing, leaning against the wall.
It’s quiet.
Scott releases Xornoth, watches their arm flop back to their body. Solidarity doesn’t move.
Xornoth is dead. They’re really, truly dead.
Scott makes a mental note to schedule a therapy appointment as soon as he can. He’s going to need it after this.
It takes him a long moment (and almost all of his strength) to gather himself to rise to his feet, but Scott does it, placing a light hand on Solidarity’s shoulder.
“They’re dead,” he murmurs, tugging gently when Solidarity doesn’t react. He doesn’t know how, but Xornoth is spontaneously dead. “It's okay. You’re free.”
He’s not sure what he expects Solidarity to do, how he expects him to react. He does not expect Solidarity to scream, to beat on Xornoth’s chest, to shove Scott away.
“No!” the man shrieks, and after a frantic moment of what may be CPR and may be simply attacking the body, he looks up at Scott, eyes bloodshot and wild. “They weren’t supposed to—it was supposed to hurt! It was—it was supposed to be long! I wanted to kill them and make them feel every bit of pain I did—”
Solidarity’s body trembles as he tears at Xornoth, as if trying to force them to wake. A literal bolt of lightning flies off his suit, one that Scott dodges narrowly.
“Wake up,” Solidarity sobs, lifting Xornoth by the shoulders and shaking them before dropping them back to the floor. “Please. Please, master, don’t leave . . . please. . . .”
Scott can’t do anything. He doesn’t even have a clue as to what might be okay for him to do. The sight before him is so disturbing that he just wants to turn away, leave it and help Lizzie to stand on her own and find Joel and pretend that none of this had ever happened.
He can’t do that, though. He owes this to Solidarity.
So Scott stays. He can’t do anything, can’t touch Solidarity, can’t hold him. Nothing that he says calms him, his cries echoing around the now-silent room.
So he sits with him and waits, waits while an exhausted Joel stumbles in and agrees to contact law enforcement and call several ambulances. Waits while officers arrive and take Graceffa into custody. Waits while Solidarity rocks back and forth beside Xornoth’s body, gloved hands frantically pulling at his own hair.
Scott sits there, providing what silent comfort he can, until an EMT wipes a patch of Solidarity’s neck with antiseptic and gently presses down the plunger of a vial of something. Solidarity goes limp quickly, and they carry him off on a stretcher.
“Make sure the Canary gets help,” Scott mumbles as the same EMT helps him stand. “He was under some kind of mind control. Nothing was his fault.”
“It’ll all be sorted,” the EMT tells him, and Scott casts one last glance at Xornoth (and whatever they are to him) before he lets himself be helped out of the building.
#empires smp#esmp#mcyt#jimmy solidarity#scott smajor#empires superpowers au#esh au#mas writes#chapter count on ao3 has been updated!#if all goes to plan - which it may not - this is the penultimate chapter#ok you guys have full permission to scream at me now#ik that i don't usually respond to comments on tumblr#but i do see them and freak out abt them#anybody want a secret about this chapter?? yes???#i had jimmy resist xornoth telling him to kill lizzie the first time#it took until today to change that#take votes: what happens to jimmy from here on out?#anyways lmk what you think!#love you guys
59 notes
·
View notes
Text
-Oh Sunset, I'm so lucky to be in a loving relationship with such a kind, loyal and non-criminally insane person such as yourself!
You're so on the money, buddy, the only thing you missed was 'sexually repelled by cousins'.
-I CAN'T DO THIS, TYLER, YOU'RE SUFFOCATING ME
-I'm sorry! Also my name is Ty!
-I KNOW BUT IT'S A STUPID NAME AND I'M NOT CALLING YOU THAT
She's right, Ty, and to top it off your last name isn't Union, it's like you're not even trying!
Bruh.. This chain of interactions from the hugging to the insulting to the making out took place in about 1 minute, I can't believe Stacy and Julian of all couples produced Sunset. Why can't you be more like your parents?? They were my cutest, healthiest couple ever!!
-They only thing they cared about having sex 50 a times a day! Aunt June basically raised me!!
Omg I'm looking at the pics of the spare updates I never posted because I suck and YA SHE DID, that explains so much, June is truly the platonic ideal of the hot-batshit combo.
Speaking of batshit-
-And hot!
If you say so, Barth is putting the moves on Marla Biggs, whomst we last saw when June (there she is again) used her to dump Erik-
-Yes, and that one wolf whistle from June turned me gay for all eternity, so don't even bother!
-UGH. So I guess I have no choice..
-..but to sleep with another one of my second cousins!
-Oh Barth, I can't believe this is finally happening!!!
-I know, Cyan, it took way too long!
We've been here for a week.
-Don't worry, nothing will interrupt this magical moment-WHAT THE FUCK I'M BEING CHEATED ON GOTTA RUN SORRY CYAN CATCH YOU LATER
Ok apparently I was laughing too hard to take a decent pic, but yes, BARTHOLOMEW CAUGHT HIS COUSIN 'CHEATING' ON HIM AS HE WAS HOOKING UP WITH HIS OTHER COUSIN. I HATE MY GAME.
-AND I HATE YOU, SUNSET. YOU BROKE MY HEART
-FUCK YOU, BARTHOLOMEW, I'M NOT GONNA BE PART OF YOUR SECOND COUSIN HAREM
-I HOPE YOU DROWN IN THE POOL
-This was so beautiful, Sunset, I think I'm falling in love with you💙
-GET OUT OF HERE, TYLER
-It's Ty!
-NO ONE CARES, ASSHOLE
-DON'T TALK TO TYLER LIKE THAT
-That's not my name!
-IT IS NOW, SHUT UP
I gotta hand it to Ty, he's in it to win it, whatever it is one could possibly 'win' when it comes to Sunset.
-Oh Sunset, you're the queen of my heart!
-Gross!🥰
-Aw baby, I love spending all our awake time woohooing and doing nothing interesting, huhu!🌞
-It really is the best, thanks to your horrific LTW we don't even have to try! It's so awful people are bound to vote for us just to watch the trainwreck!
Ya I wish I had a counter-argument but you two really have this thing figured out, even I wanna watch me have a mental breakdown trying to raise your 6 asshole kids.
-Our kids are not gonna be assholes!🌞
LOL YA OK MEADOW, whatever helps you sleep at night.
-Meadow and Felina are not the only ones with a perfect relationship! Britannicus and I are also deeply in love!! I'm writing a novel about it as we speak!!!
Jimmy no offense but I literally forgot you live here and I can barely remember who Britannicus is half the time.
-THE PARTY HAS ARRIVED
Oh Britannicus here you are, thank God, you're so indispensable to this legacy!
-All you main-houser bitches look down on me but I have a lot to offer!! I'm grandpa Gunther's heir!!!
Of course you are, now give us the pizza so the people who matter don't die.
-I'll show you! I'll show you all!! >:(
Yes yes, it's been lovely catching up-
-and now it's time to get serious and break Cyan and Barth up! Hit us with your best shot, Marg, we've been on a winning streak lately with those matches, please don't go back to Cyn's leftovers.
-Got you, say no more..
-Here's Kennedy Cox!
MARGARET
-Well it's very hard to find someone Cyneswith hasn't banged!
Ok ya that's very true but Cyan is understandably like 😬 so let's try this again, here's another dollar.
-Alright, you didn't want Cyneswith leftovers..
-How about Sandy the Zombie leftovers??
I hope I don't have to explain to you why that's SO MUCH WORSE
-And I hope I don't have to explain to you that you get what you pay for when you give a dollar for a date!
Fucking touche, Marg, get out of here.
And now for another sequence of events so absolutely ridic I'm just gonna describe it with no dialogue:
So I send Cyan inside to check the college directory thing and see what available bachelors we might booty call up, but there's no one that I like for her so I send her back out to ask Margaret for another dollar date-
-once outside, we find BRITANNICUS SERENADING BARTHOLOMEW, to which Cyan has no reaction as she's probably too shocked-
-poor dumbass loved up Jimmy has no clue and is inside getting high-
-Cyan asks Marg for another date as Barth is performing the Second Cousin Vagina Monologues-
-Margaret gives us Neon Vest Zomb AGAIN and I'm like wtf-
-at which point Britannicus, who just one moment ago was serenading Barth, WOLF WHISTLES AT CYAN-
-CAUSING BARTH TO FEEL CHEATED ON AND DUMP HER
-BETRAYED BY MY OWN BLOOD TWICE IN ONE DAY! OH, THE SHAME!
BARTH SHUT UP. BRITANNICUS WHAT. THE. HELL
-I told you! >:D
Ok you know what, at least with this I feel we have peaked and there is simply no way the situation in this house can get more insane and degenerate-
-Think again!
NO FUCKING WAY. NO. SPICE WHAT ARE YOU DOING YOU'RE DATING ELDERLY GOOD WITCH, I SPECIFICALLY FOUND YOU A GF TO KEEP YOU OUT OF THIS BS
-I know but there's something almost genetically inherited drawing me to Cyan!
-Yes, It's almost like our parents were into each other but there was some invisible force separating them!
YA THAT WAS THE LAWS OF NATURE
-Oh please, it was the extended family mod and we no longer have to function under its oppression!
NOTHING IN THIS HOUSE IS REMOTELY FUNCTIONING. You know what, enjoy this while it lasts because I'm breaking every single one of you mofos up, istg I feel like I'm fighting the Hydra, I chop one semi-incestuous head off and two others pop up. WELL I'LL WIN LIKE HERACLES
I'd like to end this disgusting update with this image of the rose Ty left for Sunset next to the flaming shitbag Neon Vest Zombie left for Cyan. What is this world coming to that men no longer appreciate you cheating on them with 2 of your cousins during a date?? Chivalry is dead!
69 notes
·
View notes
Text
sometimes that's just the way that it goes
or, joel smallishbeans joins the tokyo lift (an mcyt blaseball au fic)
the thing about joel is- well, there's a lot of things about joel, but the most relevant thing, is that he never really got in to blaseball.
he'd gone to few of grian and jimmy's games in college, been brought to an equal number of pearl's minor league games, and mostly paid attention in conversation about it after his entire friend group became obsessed with the splort seemingly overnight.
but then he'd moved out to tokyo after college, where the blaseball scene had yet to expand to a proper minor league; let alone a major league. he got a non-splorts related job. he had non-splorts related hobbies. and he was suddenly in a timezone 17 hours ahead from all his friends who cared about these things.
so maybe he managed to forget basically all the knowledge he had about the game. sue him.
by the time the ILB expanded to tokyo with the lift, joel was certainly more knowledgeable on the splort than he'd ever been. he had basically the entire league's schedule in his calendar at all times, he voted in the elections, he kept a close eye on weather forecasts across the globe. a small side effect of most of your friends playing a splort that started killing people 10 years ago.
but here's the thing- despite joel's expansive knowledge of what's happening the ILB on any given day, despite his stockpile of votes, despite his constant presence as someone's plus one at any given ILB event or party-
despite all of that...
joel doesn't really know how to play.
which is a problem, when, on a whim that he now knows was definitely some divine intervention at play, he decides to actually go to one of his friend's games on a day they happen to be playing in tokyo. and it becomes more of a problem when an umpire goes rogue, and in the blink of an eye, joel finds himself vaulting a railing and picking up a bat that, until two minutes ago, belonged to a toyko lift player.
and now belongs to a new tokyo lift player.
him.
shit.
and that is how joel finds himself here, on a stool in stress and false's bathroom, staring at his actively-being-dyed hair in the mirror and considering.
he didn't know stress and false very well before joining the lift. he'd met them, of course, at the aforementioned parties and events he'd been brought to, but they weren't close by any means. but seeing as they were the only members of his new team he'd been properly introduced to prior to becoming their coworker, he found himself following them around like a lost puppy from day one. they seemed mostly endeared by this, so far, which joel was taking as an embarrassing but necessary fact of his new career.
the "sitting in their bathroom getting his hair dyed" part of his current situation had come about a few days prior, when the wild card teams were announced and the lift had officially made their first ever post season. joel's remark that they should do something for the occasion had spiraled into stress lending him her bathroom and hair dye to dye the streak in his hair pink in celebration.
by the time they actually got around to it, the lift had been knocked out of the post season by the wild wings in a two game sweep, but joel hadn't backed out, so here they were.
stress was mixing the pink dye while joel got the green bleached out of his hair, humming along to a song joel wasn't really listening to. the bathroom isn't large enough to fit false as well, with joel on a stool, so she's hovering outside doing... something. joel's kinda lost track of her exact movements due to his aforementioned considering.
joel hasn't actually played a lot with the lift, yet. he'd joined the team in the last 20 days or so of the season, so they've gotten a good 20 games worth of a look at his... let's say, skill, and they've all presumably figured out that he's not very good. no one's said anything, but that doesn't mean they haven't been thinking it. but it's also possible they haven't been thinking it, and if joel brings it up right now, then they'll all realize that he's terrible. but also, joel knows he needs to fix this problem, because he's seen what happens to bad players.
so he's sucking it up.
"stress, can i admit something to you?" joel says, as confident and nonchalant as he can manage. it's not very nonchalant.
"hm?" stress says, looking up from where she's fidgeting about. "sure, i don't see why not."
joel takes a deep breath before he continues. "now, i don't know if any of you have noticed this yet, but... i don't really know how to play blaseball."
this is when false chooses to poke her head in from whatever she'd been doing to comment. "sorry, repeat yourself?"
"well, despite the fact that all of my friends have played this game for years, i haven't been paying much attention to how it actually works. so i don't think i actually know how to play, which wasn't a problem for me until about three weeks ago. and now it's a very big problem."
"oh," false says, looking him up and down. joel tries not to feel scrutinized. "i wouldn't have guessed that from your stats, but yeah, in hindsight, that makes sense."
"you looked at my stats?" joel sputters.
"yeah is that not-" false looks at stress, desperation clear on her face. "do people not usually do that?"
"i mean, i don't, but i don't know what all you other geezers are up to."
joel has yet to move on from the stats thing. "i haven't even looked at my stats. what- are they good? actually, no i don't want to know. or, if they're bad, i don't want to know. if they're good you can tell me."
false laughs. "you're fine, overall. not a good pitcher, but that's not your problem. everything else is pretty average, but your batting is your best stat, and it's pretty up there. not really indicative of someone who doesn't know how to play."
"oh!" joel thinks about this. he doesn't think he's been a particularly special batter thus far, but he's not objecting to whoever's quantifying his skill saying he's good. not at all. "ok, well, i kinda know how to play. i think. i know enough that i've been able to be passable, but i want to be good next season."
"are you asking us to coach you?" stress says as she starts the tap to wash the bleach out of joel's hair.
"uh, if you want to, yeah. you're both good, i think."
false, who is now leaning in the doorway instead of poking her head in, laughs again. "yeah, i'd say we're alright." from her tone, joel suspects they're actually very good, and he once again has no idea what he's talking about.
"but we'd love to!" stress says, lightly pushing joel to put his head into the sink. her next words are slightly drowned out by the running water. "obviously the lift practice in the off season already, but we could spend a bit of time doing one on one stuff with you. show you the ropes, you know?"
joel, still in the sink, answers with a thumbs up. as he sits back up and takes the towel stress offers him, he sees false leave the doorway and go back to whatever she was doing, decision seemingly reached.
joel dries off his hair and stress moves in with the pink dye and a dye brush, humming along to another song he doesn't know. he definitely doesn't need her help dying his hair- he's been doing it on his own for years now. but she'd offered the dye she already had so he didn't have to buy a new color, and apparently that offer came along with her doing most of the work as well.
and for once in his life, joel is going to take the help without a fuss.
#mcyt blaseball au#my writing#ok now. the real question. do i maintag this#yeah sure cringe is dead#hermitcraft#smallishbeans#falsesymmetry#stressmonster101#im not tagging falsestress. but know that that's what's going on here#anyways the stats thing.#it is partially joel underestimating his own knowledge of blaseball#and his own general fitness and sports ability#but its also partially that he is. underperforming for his stats for a bit#he's gonna go on an improvement arc#also yes i stole the formatting from the empires fic i reblogged earlier today#i dont ever post fics to tumblr idk how to. format#also also. title on this one comes from the ballad of unremarkable derrick kreuger#go listen to the ballad of unremarkable derrick kreuger and go crazy thanks#hermitfic
19 notes
·
View notes
Text
You promised yourself you'd never (jimmy darling x pregnant wife reader)
Summary: you and Jimmy have been married for years and are now starting a family of your own but with the heartbreak that's happened at the freak show takes its toll on your husband
Warnings: angst, alcohol abuse, labour, childbirth, mentions of death
A/n: jimmy darling got the most votes on the poll a fee days ago I'll post the next fic in the upcoming days enjoy
•¤❅¤•.•°˚˚°•..•°˚˚°•.•¤❅¤•.•¤❅¤•.•°˚˚°•. .•°˚˚°
To say things in the freakshow have been weird this past year is an understatement elsa is now on her way to fulfilling her dream of becoming a star with the help of Stanley but you didn't trust it call it a daughters intuition you wanted to look out for you mother and your family.
But what really got to you was the fact your marriage with jimmy was on the rocks, ever since dell came along you noticed his strange behavior like he's keeping something from you, you had a talk with Ethel and discovered that dell was infact your husbands father, Ethel trusted you enough to tell you that but you couldn't imagine how painful it must have been for her to see her sons father infront of his eyes and do nothing that was until the incident with amazon eve.
Jimmy set out to have a talk with dell in the town, you expected him to be gone an hour or two but he never returned till the next morning, you were heavily pregnant with Jimmy's child you stayed at Ethel's till Jimmy came home in the early hours shouting and bawling Clinging on to dell.
You stood outside his mother's door watching Jimmy with the look of disappointment he never drank a day in his life and here he is drunk, "where the fuck were you jimmy" you sighed annoyed holding onto your obvious bump through your nightgown, "baby I went to town" he slurred "get in the caravan jimmy" you said crossing your arms together.
Elsa told dell something you weren't really caring about, "Jimmy I gotta tell you something is the toledo code the minute you let a woman tell you what to do is the minute you hand your balls to them" dell stated making you, your mother and desiree pissed, "I wanna keep my balls" jimmy slurred going on to tell elsa things are going to change.
"Dell you get your son in that caravan and get him to sleep cause I ain't you got him in that state you deal with him" you snapped walking off, "y/n no where are you going" jimmy yelled in a slur, "to my mom's tent till you sober up" was all you said going into elsa's tent.
*a few weeks later*
From then on everything got worse Ethel passed away jimmy was out his mind with drinking all the time it wasn't jimmy anymore he wasn't the man you fell in love with and married at 17 years old.
You didn't want the baby being born with their father drinking all the time you had enough, you went to get breakfast you could hear Jimmy shouting at himself thinking it was someone trying to start drama in his own head, you made yourself a sandwich something light you couldn't eat much with worry.
"Baby" Jimmy slurred guzzling down a bottle of beer you let out a sigh through your nose trying not to get mad, but it was hard when your literally about to drop a baby any moment and your hormones are going crazy, "you talking to me or that bottle jimmy" you huffed going to sit with the others whilst they ate, "What's your problem y/n" Jimmy raised his voice throwing the last of the bottle away at the end of the table alone.
"You Jimmy, you're my problem look I get it your grieving but drinking ain't the answer not when you have a wife and a baby ready to be born at any given moment Ethel wouldn't have wanted this for you" you sighed cradling your bump.
"Well nothing we can do now y/n because she's dead she's not coming back" he slurred his eyes threatening to fall shut, you felt angry that he would say that he knew what it was like being a kid with a parent who has drinking problems why would he want his baby to be brought up the same, "you better get your act together jimmy before this baby is born the ball is on your side of the court now because I'm done trying I gave my fucking life to you darling you have responsibilities now so wise up before it's too late" you yelled slamming your fist on the wooden table before walking off to cool down desiree following behind you.
"FUCK" you could hear jimmy yelling kicking something in his way you didn't care you just went to your trailer the tears slipping out your eyes, "it's alright sweetheart it's going to be alright" desiree assured holding your frail pregnant body close to her as your sobbed into her arms.
"I'm tired of this des I'm just so so tired" you hiccuped in-between sobs, you couldn't take it anymore if he wasn't going to listen to you who would he listen to, "maybe dell could maybe get to him it's worth a try" desiree suggested you were desperate so you had to talk to del, you nodded in agreement going to find dell.
You searched everywhere for dell finally finding him near the main tent talking to Stanley, "dell I need to talk to you" you said earning the attention from the two men who noticed your tear stained eyes, "after me your first in line" Stanley chuckled trying to gain dell's attention back to their conversation, "Stanley I'd advise you not to piss me off now beat it I need to talk to you dell it's important" you urged "I'll be a moment stanley" dell excused himself his hand on the small of your back guiding you somewhere more private.
"What's wrong?" Dell asked his eyes scanning your face in concern, "it's jimmy he's going down a very bad slope with the booze dell I can't get through to him but maybe you can just tell him how much it fucked everything up for you as a dad or something just tell him anything he needs you more than ever now" you began to breakdown again sitting on a sack of hay dell didn't know what to do.
He was terrified to share his feeling with jimmy on why he abandoned him, "you at least owe him that anyway dell it might give him the closure he needs" you said dell sighed heavily taking a seat next to you, "I'll try and get through to him you and the baby needs him more than anything right now" was all dell could say you nodded staring at the ground silence filling the space.
"Why did you leave him" you suddenly asked wanting to know, "I was so scared he had what I got criticised for not having by my family and I freaked out when I saw his hands they brought up the past I know it's a shitty excuse but it's true" dell stated feeling the guilt eat him up.
"But I wanted to come back I wanted to be there for him I missed so much if his life, his first word, steps, birthdays, Christmas even his own wedding I just don't know how to make up for lost time" dell sighed a stray tear slipping out his eye letting himself be vulnerable, "just be there for him right now dell you can't make up to jimmy for all that lost time but think of it this way you can gain those memories with your grandchild all those things that you missed out you and Jimmy can make even more special memories" you smiled hoping that maybe that would lift dell's spirits up.
"You know what y/n your right maybe me coming here is really a blessing I can't turn back time and make the right choice with jimmy but maybe being there for him now and for this family" dell smiled you trying to push your body up from the sack of hay with dell's assistance to get on with your day.
Jimmy was no where in sight you thought he probably went into town or something you weren't to sure, you went into your mother's tent to talk with her but she was again talking to Stanley it seems if so whenever you wanted to your mother or anyone for that matter he was there rambling on about showbiz and their chance in Hollywood you had a feeling it was all talk about it all.
"Mom?" You tried to gain her attention like a toddler wanting to show their parents a picture they drawn, "not now y/n can you see I am busy my darling" your mother's German accent shushed you Stanley glanced over at you with a smug smile like it was a competition for anyone's attention against you, you couldn't help but roll your eyes at the pettiness of it all your mother was so dumb to fall for it.
"Just think about what I'm offering elsa" was the last thing Stanley said to her before walking past you but not without that smug grin on his face, you scrunched your face at him taking a seat on the sofa, "what was that all about?" You asked cradling your bump trying to get yourself comfortable but it was no use.
"He wants me to be on the television I don't want to be on television I prefer the beauty of the silverscreen" your mother shrugged you scoffed she's really falling for that, "what are you scoffing at my sweet child huh?" Elsa raised her eyebrow at you waiting on your answer, "mother you tried to shoot your shot at fame but look where that got you here hiding the fact that your a freak too it's not right at all" you sighed shaking your head.
"If I remember you married a man who has lobster claws as hands and your carrying his unborn child in that stomach of yours" your mother took offence to your statement pointing her finger at you, "exactly there's nothing to be ashamed of your just like the rest of them mother sure you weren't born with the disformity but you can relate to them I'm the lucky one I could have ran and had a better life but I chose not to because this is my family" you argued back with her proving your point that this is her family she would be leaving behind.
"Because you fell in love your lucky you have someone to love you I'd kill to have someone love me like jimmy loves you y/n you have it very lucky child" elsa hissed she was always jealous of you and Jimmy's relationship since she always wanted to be loved, "well I don't think that's the case anymore" you whispered your hormones now switching rapidly from pissed off to on the verge of tears.
"Why whats the matter my darling" elsa asked of course your mother hadn't noticed that your marriage was on the rocks when everyone else saw, "I tried to talk to you about it all the time of but you wouldn't have noticed since your too busy thinking about yourself as per usual" you snapped a single tear leaving your eyes, elsa's face dropped now realising how much you were hurting and how alone you felt.
"I needed you mother and you were to busy thinking about elsa Mars like always Jimmy's even too busy getting drunk every second of everyday i- I just feel so alone" you sobbed finally having enough you needed a good cry and let all of your emotions out after months of keeping them in.
"But I thought you and Jimmy were fine now" elsa thought out loud you let out another scoff, "Oh yeah mother my husband and I are getting along great Jimmy's just getting drunk all the time barely bothers with me and I'm a raging ball of hormones" you scoffed shaking your head.
"I'll so sorry my darling you and Jimmy will sort things out you always do" you just nodded at elsa's words making your way out the tent jimmy was still no where to be seen.
Later on that night you laid on you and Jimmy's shared bed your record player on to some soft music you held your bump singing softly to your unborn child. You couldn't help but smile thinking how much closer you were to seeing their little face.
You were snapped out of your peaceful mind with the door banging closed revealing the culprit jimmy, staggering in drunk of his mind, "fuck" he slurred almost tripping over his own feet you just watched him not saying anything.
His back was opposite you so you couldn't see his face as jimmy tried to take his shirt off leaving himself in his old worn out wife beater on, "this fucking shirt" he huffed throwing it on the table once he finally got the fabric off with a struggle you cleared your throat gaining your husbands attention.
"And where were you jimmy" you asked nonchalantly you were over this now this was Jimmy's problem to deal with if he wants to drink himself into the gutter then so be it, "out making a little more dough than we usually make like always" he slurred you knew about the tupperware party's for years and it did bring a decent amount of money home so you were fine with it.
"Okay I'm surprised you even made your way back home never mind getting those woman off in that state" you shrugged, "well I made it home and I made a few bucks now I want to open a beer and lay down" jimmy slurred opening the small refrigerator realising its empty from alcohol.
"Where's my beers?" He asked closing the door then opening it back it hoping that maybe the fridge would magically spawn a pack of beers, "well they went down your throat jimmy" you recalled getting yourself off the bed to make yourself some tea, "no I could have sworn I had a few-" jimmy was cut off by you latching onto your stomach in pain a loud groan of pain leaving your lips.
Your body was bent over the counter a wave of fear and panic washed over you, "What's wrong y/n" Jimmy asked also in shock and fear his body sobering up seeing you in such pain.
"I think my waters broke" you groaned your nightgown now soaked another Sharp pain overpowering your body making you let out a scream of agony, "AHH jimmy get my mom please" you begged jimmy laid you down on the bed rushing out to get your mother.
You laid there trying to get your breathing back to normal but everytime you managed to get your breathing more normal then the pain cane back as time went by the pain became more frequent.
The pain was unbearable you couldn't believe the pains of the contractions you were dreading the actual birth, the door swug open revealing jimmy, your mother and desiree all in a panic, "my darling What's wrong" your mother asked kneeling down beside you, "I think I'm having the baby I'm so scared mother" you sobbed holding your mother's hand.
"How far apart are the pains y/n" desiree asked "elsa grab some towels and a bucket of water" she instructed you mother was off in a hurry grabbing everything needed, "there about two minutes apart now" you groaned, Jimmy stood beside desiree not knowing what on earth to do, "Jimmy don't just stand there hold her hand be there for her" desiree said Jimmy was right by your side holding your hand the other stroking your damp hair.
The tears filled the brim of your eyes the pain was unbearable, desiree was checking if she could see the baby's head, "Don't worry honey I've delivered a baby or two in my time" she reassured you nodded holding into Jimmy's hand squeezing the life out of it.
What felt like forever desiree telling you to keep pushing you heard those little cries of your baby, Jimmy's eyes went wide watching as desiree wrap you baby in a blanket, "congratulations it's a gorgeous baby girl" desiree announced your face lit up in a smile hearing those words jimmy couldn't help but let tears of joy escape him.
"A girl y/n a baby girl" he whispered desiree handed your small infant to your husband his eyes never leaving the baby, "elsa can you give y/n a wash and change her into clean clothes" desiree instructed your mother took you to get washed and changed.
By the time you got back desiree was gone jimmy was still holding your daughter with a small smile, "I'll leave you two alone" your mother said leaving yours and jimmy trailer, "can I hold her?" You asked laying back on the bed you noticed the new sheets on the bed, "of course" jimmy handed you the baby you were so scared holding her like fragile China, "she's beautiful" jimmy smiled placing a kiss on your head.
"She really is" you sighed looking up at your husband with a smile and exhaustion in your eyes, "ethel" you whispered jimmy looked at you confused "what?" He chuckled sitting on the bed, "I think her name should be Ethel after your mother, after a strong woman" Jimmy's smile got brighter he couldn't have agreed more if he needed to, "Ethel darling yeah I like that, look y/n I'm sorry for the way I've been acting after seeing the baby I realised that isn't what you both need and I promise I won't ever let another drink come near me" jimmy apologised now in tears.
"Jimmy i forgive you and I know it was with everything happening but now we have a family that's all that matters now" you said placing a kiss on his lips.
#american horror story#evan peters#james patrick march#kit walker#tate langdon#ahs asylum#evan peters x reader#jimmy darling#kai anderson x reader#kai anderson#kyle spencer#austin sommers#evan peters x y/n#evan peters fanfic#evan peters smut#evan peters fanfiction#evan peters fluff#evan peters icons#evan peters imagine#evan peters requests#evan peters x you#evanpeters#evanpetersedit#ahs coven#ahs murder house#ahs cult#ahs hotel#ahs apocalypse#ahs double feature#ahs freakshow
141 notes
·
View notes
Text
Never let anything separate us
Pairing: Sami Zayn x Fem reader x Jey Uso
Description: After the verdict of Sami's trail you and the boys are emotional once the three of you are alone
You were a nervous wreck standing in the ring next to Jey hearing Roman pretty much rant like he has been off and on for awhile since determining that Sami had to go to trial to prove his loyalty to The Bloodline. Tears poured down your face after jey stopped Solo from using a Samoan spike on sami and footage of him taking shots for everyone played feeling like you could vomit as you raise your hand with a finger in the air voting for sami to stay in the bloodline wanting to jump and cheer when Roman says "Not guilty" you watch sami and jey hug knowing just how emotional they were as well as you staring daggers into roman as he adds to the verdict "For now" if you could have you would have definitely killed roman right then and there for all the bullshit that had been happening for the last while putting everyone through hell and always on edge bursting into tears once the three of you were back in your hotel room holding onto them tightly as tears and muffled cries could be heard in the room as the three of you hold each other never letting go for a second. "I don't wanna lose either of you..." if the look on sami's face earlier in the ring didn't break your heart then his words in between muffled sobs against jey's shoulder did while laying your head against sami's chest and sitting in jey's lap molded between them "God I want it all to stop" you knew that jey lived his family but he knew they didn't treat him like they should especially roman which you noticed right away when you joined standing up to roman up until he put sami on trail knowing that if he was mad enough to put sami on trail to prove his loyalty to the "family" then he wouldn't be afraid to harm you or jey especially if he found out just how close the three of you truly were with each other not telling anyone at all except one person you trusted with your life and that was Rey Mysterio who was the real thing you had to a dad in your life and knew that you were now afraid of roman not knowing what could happen to the relationship you had with jey and sami and how much you loved the boys with all your heart. The next morning you had enough only telling the boys you were gonna take care of things bursting into the room where roman and Paul were staring with rage blacking out as you scream at him "YOU HAVE DONE ENOUGH SHIT AND I WILL NOT LET YOU HAVE CONTROL OF MINE OR THE BOY'S LIVES IT ENDS HERE RIGHT NOW!" Jimmy and solo were shocked standing in the doorway as everyone else outside heard everything hearing roman yell at you but sami and jey were left stunned seeing you swing and clock roman in the face leaving him on the floor speechless as you walk by everyone turning when rey stops you bandaging your hand in his locker room walking out to see jey and sami waiting for you after they talked to Hunter about what happened "We're leaving the bloodline babe" the three of you share a hug before going into an empty locker room sharing tender kisses smiling when they ask you why you did what you did "Cause I'd never let anything separate us no matter what" the words left them like putty sharing a long hug and more kisses before revealing on Raw the fate of the bloodline.
#wwe x reader#jey uso#sami zayn x reader#wwe#jey uso x reader#sami zayn#jey uso x reader x sami zayn#sami zayn x reader x jey uso
16 notes
·
View notes
Text
Yellow time :D I’m watching Scar
Pregame
Hi Scar!!!! I’m so hyped you guys
Heck yeah, don’t stress yourself out king!!
I’m so excited for this team, the energy’s already amazing
THATS where all the empires folks are??? Lmao, Scott left Jimmy’s birthday weekend early to like, do his job, smh
Rocket Spleef
Scott absolutely roasting Tubbo lol
I’m so proud of Jordan for not immediately falling out of the sky, aren’t you??
They’re all popping off!!
Scar 11th!!!
Jordan killing Scott 😂
“I was kinda hoping to drown, to be honest” scar????
TGTTOSAWAF
Jordan and Scott bullying each other my beloved
Scar specifying that it was an actual medical emergency he missed practice for, not the nerve damage he acquired in his hand while operating a tortilla press
“Vote for what makes you happy” “ohhhhkay?” “I’m voting to go to Disneyland” them <33
Parkour Warrior
The vibes are incredible, I have never been this chill watching parkour
SCAR COMPLETION!!! He was so proud of himself :))
Scar training arc!!!!
Ayo 4th!!
Parkour Tag
Why does Jordan know the cardinal directions of the parkour tag spawns off the top of his head?? I really can’t talk but like… how????
They’re popping off!! 4/4 so far!!!
Fruit took Sneeg on a run
Scar just dropped on top of them 😂
Cub turning around and coming back when Scar tells him to even though they can’t hear each other is so!! Scar’s freaking incredible at nonverbal communication in minecraft, it doesn’t make sense but he is
When will my husband (buildmart) return from the war (unofficial hiatus)
Grid Runners
Endorsing drunkenness, this are my pg streamers :)) /j
Grid runners is so fun, thank you!! It’s so fast paced that people usually don’t take the time to appreciate it but it’s such a good game
They breezed through lamps!!!
Scar was so confused but Fruit and Jordan were more so 😂
Jordan figured out Uppies so quick, that’s so impressive actually
“Someone watched the life series and made this” real
Scaffolding is so unintuitive I swear, I’m sure there’s a logic to it but I have no idea what it is lmao
Scar gotta take more initiative and trust himself <333
“Green can’t be good at everything, man” but they can and they are :D
Jordan getting onto Scott for being too good at balancing 😂
I didn’t even notice the firecracker plush was still there!!
Meltdown
Scott gotta be careful getting that first coin crate lmao
“I never do straight things but ok” REAL
They’re speeding what???
Ah green swept ‘em :/
MCC out here trying to happen and internet around the world said no
SCAR TRIPLE ELIM!!!! And the greed!! As he should!!!
That fights against cyan was so fast lmao
YESSSSSS SCOTT AND JORDAN CARRY!!!!
“Am I supposed to pour something? I don’t think I have time for that” “Just grab the bottle” real and true
Survival Games
Barn strat real!!
This map is legendary fr
They’re getting pretty decent loot tho
Yikes they just got slammed, there was just no good way out of that area
Sands of Time
Sand daddy Scar my beloved
Torch offhand enforcer, as he should
“Where’s my Scott?” Excuse you sir that is our Scott
Scar is such a good sandkeeper
Them all running in to find Fruit <333
Scott getting onto Scar for double flicking the levers
Scott predicting the blue 6k coins
Dodgebolt
Them joking about how much better they were expected to perform with good spirits :))
CAPITAN!!!!
Last MCC we had Purpled against purple and now we have Red against red lol
Can’t believe they let a whole team of Capitan Stan’s into MCC smh
“It’s so hot in my room” “It’s cause you’re in it, Scar” “Amen!!” Scott and Fruit my beloved
Ayo secret MCC today 👀
Jordan was one of the reasons Scar got into YouTube :((( /pos
#mcc 31#mc championship#goodtimeswithscar#jordan captainsparklez#scott smajor#fruitberries#nerdy’s mcc reactions
22 notes
·
View notes
Text
By Thom Hartmann
Common Dreams Opinion
Jan. 3, 2024
Fascism can happen here and we know this because it is happening here. And unless more people wake up and fight back, it will be too late.
Like an alcoholic family that won’t discuss alcoholism (proving Don Quixote’s warning never to mention rope in the home of a man who’s been hanged), far too many Americans are unwilling to acknowledge or even discuss the ongoing collapse of democracy in the United States.
We see it in everything from our last two Republican presidents having lost the national vote but taking office anyway, to the extreme gerrymandering happening in every Red state in the country, to the naked bribery of our legislators and Supreme Court justices.
And our media exclude it from almost every conversation. Networks run promotions mentioning Trump’s indictments, but completely fail to point out that he is calling for the end of democracy in America, the suspension of the Constitution, and playing the role of a “dictator” on day one.
The extent of the problems within our political and economic structures are laid bare with startling and sometimes frightening clarity.
President Jimmy Carter took it head-on when he told me on my radio program that the Citizen’s United decision, which brought us this crisis:
“[V]iolates the essence of what made America a great country in its political system. Now it’s just an oligarchy, with unlimited political bribery being the essence of getting the nominations for president or to elect the president. And the same thing applies to governors and U.S. senators and congress members. So now we’ve just seen a complete subversion of our political system as a payoff to major contributors, who want and expect and sometimes get favors for themselves after the election’s over.”
This “complete subversion of our political system” grew, in large part, out of Richard Nixon’s 1972 appointment of tobacco lawyer and rightwing extremist Lewis Powell to the Supreme Court.
Powell, in 1971, had authored the infamous Powell Memo for the US Chamber of Commerce, strongly suggesting that corporate leaders needed to get politically involved and, essentially, take over everything from academia to our court system to our political system.
In 1976, in the Buckley case, Powell began the final destruction of American democracy by declaring that when morbidly rich people or corporations own politicians, all that money that got transferred to the politicians wasn’t bribery but, instead, was Constitutionally-protected First Amendment-defined “Free Speech.”
Powell expanded that when he personally authored the decision in the 1978 Bellotti case, which acknowledged corporations as “persons” with full access to the Bill of Rights, including their own “free speech” right to own politicians. Five corrupt and in-the-bag Republicans on the Supreme Court radically expanded that doctrine in 2010 with Citizens United.
As a result, there’s really very little democracy left in our democracy.
— Our votes are cast in districts so gerrymandered that a 50/50 electorate can produce an 70/30 outcome in congressional representation.
— Our laws are written, more often than not, by corporate lawyers/lobbyists or representatives of billionaire-level wealth.
— And our media is owned by the same class of investors/stockholders, so it’s a stretch to expect them to do much critical reporting on the situation.
In his book The Decline of the West, first published in German in 1918 and then in English in 1926, Oswald Spengler suggested that what we call Western civilization was then beginning to enter a “hardening” or “classical” phase in which all the nurturing and supportive structures of culture would become, instead, instruments for the exploitation of a growing peasant class to feed the wealth of a new and strengthening aristocracy.
Culture would become a parody of itself, average people’s expectations would decline while their wants would grow, and a new peasantry would emerge, which would cause the culture to stabilize in a “classic form” that, while Spengler doesn’t use the term, seems very much like feudalism — the medieval system in which the lord owned the land and everyone else was a vassal (a tenant who owed loyalty to the landlord).
Or its more modern incarnation: fascism, a word that didn’t even exist when Spengler wrote Decline.
Spengler, considering himself an aristocrat, didn’t see this as a bad thing. In 1926 he prophesied that once the boom of the Roaring Twenties was over, a great bust would wash over the Western world. While this bust had the potential to create chaos, its most likely outcome would be a return to the classic, stable form of social organization, what Spengler calls “high culture” and I call neofeudalism and/or fascism.
He wrote:
“In all high Cultures, therefore, there is a peasantry, which is breed stock, in the broad sense (and thus to a certain extent nature herself), and a society which is assertively and emphatically ‘in form.’ It is a set of classes or Estates, and no doubt artificial and transitory. But the history of these classes and estates is world history at highest potential.”
Twentieth and 21st century cultural observers, ranging from billionaire George Soros in his book The Crisis of Global Capitalism, to professor Noreena Hertz inThe Silent Takeover: Global Capitalism and the Death of Democracy, have pointed to deep cracks in the foundational structure of Western civilization, traceable in part to the current legal status of corporations versus humans.
More recently, Jane Mayer has laid out in painful detail in her book Dark Money how the Koch Network and a few other political-minded billionaires have essentially taken over the entire Republican Party, as has Nancy MacLean with her book Democracy in Chains. The extent of the problems within our political and economic structures are laid bare with startling and sometimes frightening clarity.
As a result, of all these changes in our politics (most driven by five corrupt Republicans on the Supreme Court putting oligarchy above democracy), Princeton scholars Martin Gilens and Benjamin Page famously found that the odds of average Americans’ political desires being translated into policy are about the same as “random noise,” whereas what they referred to as “economic elites” frequently get everything they want from the political class.
They wrote that we still have the “features” of democracy like elections, but ended their paper with this cautionary note:
“[W]e believe that if policymaking is dominated by powerful business organizations and a small number of affluent Americans, then America’s claims to being a democratic society are seriously threatened.”
It seems that America has arrived at the point Spengler saw in early 20th century Europe, and, indeed, there are some concerning parallels, particularly with the late 1920s and early 1930s. Italy, Germany, and Spain all lost their democracies and moved to fascism during that era, while Spengler and his acolytes cheered.
And, indeed, it was one of FDR’s biggest challenges in the early 1930s: steering America through a “middle course” between communism (which was then growing popular) and fascism (also growing popular). He pulled it off with small (compared to Europe) nods to democratic socialism, instituting programs like Social Security, the minimum wage, and establishing the right to unionize (among other things).
American democracy can’t afford many more years of corruption before it’s dead
Mark Twain is often quoted as saying that history doesn’t repeat itself, but it rhymes. Many look at the all-out war being waged against American government by the hard right, from Trump and his cronies to the billionaire networks funding right-wing propaganda and lobbying outlets, and think “it can’t happen here.”
They’re wrong. It can happen here.
We now have police intervening in elections, privatized corporate voting systems, and a massive voter suppression campaign to prevent elderly, young, and non-white Americans from being able to vote.
Meanwhile, Republican politicians and the billionaires who own them are now dropping any pretense at all to caring about the fate and future of our country’s fiscal health, so long as they get and keep their tax cuts.
In summary, what’s left of our democratic institutions are under siege.
Add to that a largely billionaire-funded/owned right-wing media machine that’s willing to regularly and openly deceive American voters (documented daily by Media Matters), and you have the perfect setup for a neofeudalist/fascist takeover of our government.
Or, as President Carter so correctly called it, oligarchy.
This year’s election may be our last chance to push back against the oligarchy that the GOP has been constructing for the past forty-three years. President Biden and Democrats in Congress made a valiant try with the For The People Act that would have expanded voter rights, outlawed gerrymandering, and reversed Citizens United to strip dark money out of our electoral system, but were stabbed in the back by Joe Manchin and Kirsten Sinema.
If Biden is re-elected and Democrats can take the House and hold the Senate, there’s a very good chance — particularly without Manchin and Sinema to sabotage the process like they did in 2022 — that such legislation can be brought up again and pass.
Double check your voter registration — particularly if you live in a Blue city in a Red state, where they’re already purging millions of voters every month — and help everybody you know get their registration up to date.
American democracy can’t afford many more years of corruption before it’s dead: our time to act is now.
2 notes
·
View notes
Text
Saturday Morning Coffee
Good morning from Charlottesville, Virginia! ☕️
Life is just flying by. Another week in the books.
I’ll be helping Kim paint the kitchen today. Should be an adventure. 👨🎨
Jeffrey Zeldman
Sure, watches that tell you when you’re walking unsteadily and pocket computer phones that show you the closest pizzeria are swell, but were you around for ResEdit?
Unfortunately I wasn’t a Mac user during the ResEdit days but I do know a lot of folks who had fun with it, does that count? 😃
David Ingram • NBC News
Elon Musk’s X is a thriving hub for Nazi support and propaganda, with paid subscribers sharing speeches by Adolf Hitler or content praising his genocidal regime.
Shocked! Surprised! Said no one hearing this. I really don’t know what else to say. He’s a garbage human.
Benjamin Sandofsky
An ex-Apple designer who went on to startup success once told me, “I wish I could give a workshop for Apple jumping into startups, to help them un-learn The Apple Way.” I think Apple makes some of the best products in the world, and I strive to build products with their level of craft and quality, so it pains me to admit that The Apple Way can destroy a lot of startups. Which brings us to Humane.
I have yet to read anything positive about the Humane Pin. It’s not such a bad idea to be able to talk to a device you’re wearing. I’ve had an Apple Watch for years and years, that’s the device to talk to. Siri could use some work but I have a feeling that’s already happening.
John S. Tobey • Forbes
Sell Trump Media Stock (DJT) Now - An Implosion Is Likely
I feel bad for all the folks who believe so much in Trump that they invested their entire life savings in a company poised to fail. There’s a sucker born every day and if Trump is good at anything it’s grifting.
Jimmy Cook
A React Native app is made up of two sides, the JavaScript side and the native side. The native side could be Objective-C/Swift for iOS or Java/Kotlin for Android (not to mention the other platforms for React Native like web and desktop). The React Native Bridge allows the native code and the javascript code to talk to each other. Without the bridge, there is no way for the native code to send any information to the JavaScript code and vise versa.
I’ve been working on a React Native project that integrates into an existing iOS and Android app. We’ve created ways for our React Native developers to use the native iOS and Android code to do work for them and allow them to navigate between React Native views and Native views. There’s definitely more work we could do to improve on what we’ve started but it’s in a decent position.
We’ve already released some React Native based work and will be rolling out more soon.
I’m having a blast!
Devin Meenan • /Film
Jaws' Most Famous Improvised Line Was A Not-So-Sneaky Dig At Studio Producers
This is a fun little read. Make sure you take the time to visit. It’ll only take a minute of your life.
Ellis Karran,Richard Madden • BBC
When they removed the wooden panel, it revealed a large slab of stone featuring a carving of the Lincoln Imp.
How cool is that!
I hope they find more interesting relics around their home. Let’s hope they’re not cursed. 😆
Alexandra Sternlicht • Fortune via News+
But with the House voting in March to force ByteDance to sell its stake in TikTok, 11 former employees interviewed by Fortune tell a vastly different story. Many of those ex-workers, four of whom were employed as recently as last year, say at least some of TikTok’s operations were intertwined with its parent during their tenures, and that the company’s independence from China was largely cosmetic.
This gets more and more interesting by the day. I was against forcing them to sell and I still think it’s a bit heavy handed.
Is there a way to regulate them to make sure American citizens data remains on servers here in the States?
We know Apple had to hand over the keys to iCloud in China. Could that be done here?
It’s above my pay grade and I’m sure someone much smarter than me could give me the lowdown. In the meantime I’ll keep watching from the cheap seats. 🍿
Haela Huntress • Metal Sucks
Maynard James Keenan may be a 60-year-old man ranting against cell phones, but he actually might have a point on this one, at least somewhat.
I like that he does this. When I went to Aftershock in 2019, and Tool closed out the festival, there didn’t seem to be any rules around cell phones. As soon as their set opened it was cell phones up from front to back. I was so tempted to take one away from the dude in front of me blocking my view. Yeah, I was pissed off but managed to keep my cool. It sucked looking around that thing all evening but in the end I got to hear some amazing music.
0 notes
Text
Happy St. Patrick's Day 2024 #653
Happy St Patrick’s Day with two hours of the great Irish & Celtic Music Podcast #653. Subscribe now!
Tradify, Sorcha, Jigjam, The Fire, Hayley Griffiths, Keltricity, Marc Gunn, Tarren, Celtic Wood and Wires, Altan, Michael Darcy & The Atlantic Tramps, Louise Bichan, Toby Bresnahan, The Walker Roaders, Lúnasa, Stout Pounders, Brother Sea, Clare Cunningham, River Driver, Philippe Barnes and Tom Phelan, Jimmy & Scots Folk Band, Clay Babies, CaliCeltic, Ironwood, Derek Warfield & The Young Wolfe Tones
GET CELTIC MUSIC NEWS IN YOUR INBOX
The Celtic Music Magazine is a quick and easy way to plug yourself into more great Celtic culture. Enjoy seven weekly news items for Celtic music and culture online. Subscribe now and get 34 Celtic MP3s for Free.
VOTE IN THE CELTIC TOP 20 FOR 2024
This is our way of finding the best songs and artists each year. You can vote for as many songs and tunes that inspire you in each episode. Your vote helps me create next year's Best Celtic music of 2024 episode. You have just three weeks to vote this year. Vote Now!
You can follow our playlist on Spotify to listen to those top voted tracks as they are added every 2 - 3 weeks. It also makes it easier for you to add these artists to your own playlists. You can also check out our Irish & Celtic Music Videos.
THIS WEEK IN CELTIC MUSIC
0:07 - Tradify "The Roaring Barmaid, Star of Munster Jig, Star of Munster & Fred Finn’s" from Take Flight
4:29 - WELCOME
6:43 - Sorcha "Stomp the Floor / Slide from Grace / The Mouse in the Kitchen" from Stomp the Floor
10:42 - Jigjam "Tullamore to Boston" from Phoenix
14:21 - The Fire "Captain Carswell" from Radiance
18:41 - Hayley Griffiths "Star of the County Down" from Far from Here
21:19 - Keltricity "The Butterfly - Behind the Bush in the Garden - Swallowtail Jig" from Live at Terra Firma Radio
25:22 - FEEDBACK
30:11 - Marc Gunn "Myra’s Lament for Lamlash Bay" from Come Adventure With Me
Listen to Mad Jenny on Lamlash Bay #85
33:54 - Tarren "Hardwood" from Revel
36:48 - Celtic Wood and Wires "I'll Tell Me Ma" from Close the Back Door
40:53 - Altan "The Yellow Tinker (Slow Reel)" from Donegal
43:49 - Michael Darcy & The Atlantic Tramps "The Rambler from Clare" from Down to the Roots
47:12 - Louise Bichan "Qouyburray" from Out of My Own Light
50:27 - Toby Bresnahan "Farewell To Auld Ireland" from All In Good time
55:13 - CELTIC INVASION VACATIONS
57:23 - The Walker Roaders "Old Tar Road to Sligo" from The Walker Roaders
1:01:15 - Lúnasa "The Bull's March" from Live in Kyoto
1:06:25 - Stout Pounders "Raggle Taggle Gypsy (Live)" from Liver Let Live
1:09:16 - Brother Sea "All as One" from Brother Sea Ep
1:13:42 - Clare Cunningham "Home Again" from Home Again
1:17:57 - THANKS
1:19:44 - River Driver "John O'Reilly" from Flanagan's Shenanigans! Live at The Celt
1:24:11 - Philippe Barnes and Tom Phelan "New Kings Road/Órlaith's/New Found Out" from The Clearwater Sessions
1:30:22 - Jimmy & Scots Folk Band "COME OUT YE BLACK AND TANS" from The Viking Irishman
1:33:16 - Clay Babies "OutOnTheOcean / FlowersOfEdinburgh / Mason'sApron" from Speechless Vol. 1: Sloppy Session in the Sticks
1:37:13 - CaliCeltic "Frosty Pint" from Whiskey Mustache
1:40:38 - Ironwood "She Likes the Guinness" from Gretna Green
1:44:31 - CLOSING
1:46:31 - Derek Warfield & The Young Wolfe Tones "Spanish Lady" from Let the Free Birds Fly
1:50:09 - CREDITS
The Irish & Celtic Music Podcast was produced by Marc Gunn, The Celtfather and our Patrons on Patreon. The show was edited by Mitchell Petersen with Graphics by Miranda Nelson Designs. Visit our website to follow the show. You’ll find links to all of the artists played in this episode.
Todd Wiley is the editor of the Celtic Music Magazine. Subscribe to get 34 Celtic MP3s for Free. Plus, you’ll get 7 weekly news items about what’s happening with Celtic music and culture online. Best of all, you will connect with your Celtic heritage.
Please tell one friend about this podcast. Word of mouth is the absolute best way to support any creative endeavor.
Finally, remember. Reduce, reuse, recycle, and think about how you can make a positive impact on your environment.
Promote Celtic culture through music at http://celticmusicpodcast.com/.
WELCOME THE IRISH & CELTIC MUSIC PODCAST
* Helping you celebrate Celtic culture through music. I am Marc Gunn.
This podcast is here to build a diverse Celtic community and help the incredible artists who so generously share their music with you. If you hear music you love, please email artists to let them know you heard them on the Irish and Celtic Music Podcast. Musicians depend on your generosity to keep making music. So please find a way to support them. Buy a CD, Album Pin, Shirt, Digital Download, or join their communities on Patreon.
You can find a link to all of the artists in the shownotes, along with show times, when you visit our website at celticmusicpodcast.com.
If you are a Celtic musician or in a Celtic band, then please submit your band to be played on the podcast. You don’t have to send in music or an EPK. You will get a free eBook called Celtic Musicians Guide to Digital Music and learn how to follow the podcast. It’s 100% free. Just email Email follow@bestcelticmusic and of course, listeners can learn how to subscribe to the podcast and get a free music - only episode.
Check out these Celtic Bands on Patreon.
Looking for some more things to listen and watch for St Patrick's Day!
THANK YOU PATRONS OF THE PODCAST!
You are amazing. It is because of your generosity that you get to hear so much great Celtic music each and every week.
Your kindness pays for our engineer, graphic designer, Celtic Music Magazine editor, promotion of the podcast, and allows me to buy the music I play here. It also pays for my time creating the show each and every week.
As a patron, you get music - only episodes before regular listeners, vote in the Celtic Top 20, stand - alone stories, and you get a private feed to listen to the show. All that for as little as $1 per episode.
A special thanks to our new and continued Patrons of the Podcast: O'McPub Band, Steve Bradley, Windswept Isles, Robert Crader, José Tomás Castro Comparini, John Schexnaydre, Frank
HERE IS YOUR THREE STEP PLAN TO SUPPORT THE PODCAST
Go to our Patreon page.
Decide how much you want to pledge every week, $1, $5, $25. Make sure to cap how much you want to spend per month.
Keep listening to the Irish & Celtic Music Podcast to celebrate Celtic culture through music.
You can become a generous Patron of the Podcast on Patreon at SongHenge.com.
TRAVEL WITH CELTIC INVASION VACATIONS
Every year, I take a small group of Celtic music fans on the relaxing adventure of a lifetime. We don't see everything. Instead, we stay in one area. We get to know the region through its culture, history, and legends. You can join us with an auditory and visual adventure through podcasts and videos. Learn more about the invasion at http://celticinvasion.com/
#celticmusic #irishmusic #celticmusicpodcast
I WANT YOUR FEEDBACK
What are you doing today while listening to the podcast? Please email me. I’d love to see a picture of what you're doing while listening or of a band that you saw recently.
Email me at follow@bestcelticmusic.
Ben Doran messaged on Facebook: “When I received the "music only version" of the "The Gaelic Blessing" podcast, I was immediately reminded of one of the most moving arrangements of The Irish Blessing that I have heard - - by Bill O'Connor and Larry Theiss on their – "Traditional And Original" recording.
I am getting ready to have a day off tomorrow and will get to chores and baking for the "Wild Hog in the Woods" usual Friday night concert that we host at a neighborhood center here in Madison. While I am mixing and baking, I'll surely/certainly listen to that "Gaelic Blessing" program in its entirety. Thanks!”
Ryan S. emailed some photos: "Hi Marc. I love the Celtic Women episodes!!
I am currently building trails outside of austin while I listen to the cast.the spring flowers are already out!"
Shel O'Toole emailed a photo: "Hi Marc, As I'm listening today I'm promoting the International Women's Day event I organised for the Ballarat and District Irish Association. The all women trio I play with, Skedaddle is performing on the day. I'm also looking at ways to promote my newly released poetry book Wildsong. I'll be officially launching it at the IWD lunch.
I'm loving the Celtic Women special. There's so many fabulous Irish women singers and musicians. Noirin Ni Rian, the sean - ós singer and chanter, Sandra Joyce singer and bodhran player are two amazing teachers I met at the Irish World Music Summer School - Blas, many years ago. Niamh Parsons & Delores Keane are firm favourites & I love discovering new female artists.
I'll probably go to a session on St Patrick's day and there's a band playing at one of the Irish pubs in the evening I want to see. Sliánte"
Check out this episode!
0 notes
Text
BLOG 5: ENVIRONMENTAL IMPACTS OF TOURISM
I hate to admit it, but I did not know about the 1989 Exxon oil spill in Alaska. I was shocked, not only by the devastating shots of the oil slick beach, but by the fact that it still remains that way today! I want to say I was surprised by the fact that they got out of paying the majority of what they owed, but the unfortunate truth of the world we live in is that big companies with lots of power tend not to be burdened with the consequences of their actions.
Tourism as an industry has a responsibility to preserve the environment, because they will live and die symbiotically. From an idealistic perspective, the tourism industry should take care of the environment because it is the right thing to do, and we should be respectful and loving to the environment that we live in. From a capitalistic perspective, the tourism industry should take care of the environment because it has to. If the environment is no longer thriving, neither will the tourism industry.
The statistics on tourism in the Gulf region following the BP oil spill were STAGGERING! I had little frame of reference for how I thought tourism in the Gulf would be impacted by the oil spill, but the thing that was most interesting was the number of people who cancelled travel plans to Gulf-adjacent locations that, for the purpose of tourism, were not directly impacted by the oil spill. Not only that, but how many people made their decisions based on misinformation. We live in a world where information is taken out of context, for face value, and without follow-up. The Florida Keys did not need oil on their beaches to feel the negative effects of the BP oil spill, all they needed was the reputation of having been effected by the disaster. The clickbait culture of the internet is a petri-dish for misinformation, no matter how much evidence may exist otherwise.
I wish I could say that a disaster like Deepwater Horizon was enough to revolutionize the oil industry. And maybe it will make people think twice, at least for a minute. But women who swear they will never again during childbirth have another baby nine months later, and you never appreciate how good it is to be well until you're sick. Everyone who worked in the oil industry on April 20th 2010 will retire someday. Eventually, in a future not too far away, Deepwater Horizon will be remembered as a cautionary tale that happened to other people in some other time, because everything is always just "something that happens to other people" until the day that it happens to us.
I'm sure that the executive who made the call to run the rig after the high pressure result came back thought he was just speeding things up and cutting through some tape. Deepwater was voted the safest rig for so many years, how could just one result turn the tides? It was safe for a reason, and that reason was Jimmy's extreme attention to safety and detail, carried out through the trusting relationship he had with his team. It was just one decision made by one person, but it set in motion a butterfly effect that had an absolutely devastating impact on people, creatures, and the environment.
I can't always remember quotes, usually they are paraphrased in the back of my mind somewhere until all I can remember is half the sentiment, but this one I'll always remember, and it feels right to add it here now.
"The only thing that we learn from history is that we learn nothing from history." -- Georg Hegel
And I really hope that I'm wrong, and we learn from our mistakes, and that people do better. But I read the statistics on recent oil spills, spills I've never even heard of that still pollute the earth just as irreversibly as the ones that make headlines. And yet, still, I really hope we can start to remember.
0 notes
Text
Look who just woke up- is that JIMMY SMITS? No, I must have been mistaken, that’s BAIL PRESTOR ORGANA from STAR WARS. I heard they are 67 and stuck here just like everyone else. Even in the 20’s, he still gives off a FATHER OF THE REBELLION, FIGHTING FOR WHAT’S RIGHT EVEN IF FIGHTING ALONE, HARD BEING THE SURVIVOR, SAVING EVERYONE BUT YOURSELF, CONFIDENCE THAT COULD KILL impression. In Sydney they work as a MEMBER OF PARLIAMENT. They’re known to be quite COMMITED & KIND, but have a tendency to be DISHONEST & STUBBORN on their bad days.
Gender/Pronouns : Male / he/him
How long have they been in Sydney : In his memories, whole life. In reality, 1 month
Which suburb do they live in? Darling Point
Personality description : Above all Bail is kind. He believes in creating a better future. He is completely committed to that, and is respected for his views. He also loves deeply, and is a family man. Whilst he is honest in his beliefs, he does have the ability to lie very convincingly as he managed to hide his own allegiances even from Sith.
Memories of their real life :
Bail Prestor was born into nobility, but dreamt of a life outside of that. Dreams often full of chasing purrgil far from his own. He soon realised it was not something that would ever happen, and soon he found new a new dream when he met Breha Organa. Eventually they married, and he took her name. However they knew if they were to have children, it would be from adoption.
With Breha as Queen, he became the statesman for Alderaan, and it was also where he met Mon Mothma. He did not join the senate until after the attack on Naboo. During this he made contacts, ones he knew would be important. However unlike them, his honesty and commitment to justice meant he he held the respect of his opponents. Though he was also known to be an ally of the Jedi, and also befriended Padme when she joined the senate.
As war broke out, Bail remained loyal to the Republic and the senate. When Kenobi discovered the clones, he did originally vote in favour of their creation. That was until he saw them, and realised how human they were. It was a mistake he knew he'd need to redeem, and need to keep fighting for what was right. As the war carried on, he did what he could to bring about peace in the senate, but together with Breha also made sure that Alderaan gave relief aid.
Eventually it seemed that the Clone Wars was over, and then Bail received news that the Jedi had tried to take over the Jedi temple. With his knowledge of the Jedi, he rushed over there, but was intercepted by clones. He had been leaving when he saw them kill a Padawan, and so went to find Yoda. Obi-Wan was able to get to them, but they hadn't heard from any of the others, and those who hadn't been killed by the clones initially were being told to return to the temple. Bail was summoned to the senate, where Palpatine announced the creation of the Empire whilst he and Padme watched in horror.
Whilst he tried to help Yoda attack the Emperor, after this failed Obi-Wan bought an injured Padme to them. He watched one of his closest friends die, and soon learnt the truth about the children's father. Whilst he would have taken both twins, they knew it was safer for them to be seperated, and so he returned to Alderaarn with Leia.
He went to Padme's funeral, but on seeing Ahsoka there, gave her a communicator. Publicly he declared his loyalty to the Emperor, but secretly he and Mon began forming a rebellion. To begin with, it was simply to supply relief, yet he kept an eye on any news of rebellions happening in the galaxy. He could play the part of the loyal senator, but in reality the rebellion was growing quickly.
Eventually they realised a full scale war was coming, and Bail needed to bring Obi-Wan out of hiding. He returned to Alderaan, and sent Leia to go and find him. But Leia's ship went missing. Bail never learnt that she was alive, he was killed when Alderaan was destroyed.
What was their fake life like:
Born before the turn of the century, Bail had a similar life in that he worked in politics, climbing the ranks. However, he did not need to establish any rebellion this time. He also married and adopted children. Whilst he was too old to enlist during WW1, he did what he could to try and assist the soldiers and their families. However his wife passed away working in munitions. He did what he could to raise his children, and do his job, though now has become a bit of a workaholic.
Optional, please pick at least three and interpret them however you wish ::
Theme Song: My Way - Frank Sinatra
Quote: The whole galaxy knows I'm a family man, Ahsoka Tano. The Empire is counting on it. They think it means I'll be more amenable to certain suggestions
Wanted Connections:
Co-workers
Friends
Family - he'd have adopted
0 notes
Text
“In every conflict there are casualties. The question is what is gained and what is lost?”
-Hoffa
youtube
Directed by Danny DeVito, written by David Mamet, and starring Jack Nicholson, today’s Movie Life Lesson comes courtesy of “Hoffa.”
I am choosing this 1992 biopic for this week’s Movie Life Lesson because of the looming Hollywood writer's strike. The strike happening hinges on whether the screenwriters who write the movies and the TV shows watched by audiences all over the world can reach a deal with the AMPTP, the studios that produce those movies and television shows. The contract is for three years so it is time to return to the bargaining table in an attempt to hammer out a new deal.
The deadline for a deal is May 1. Next Monday.
Last week the WGA held what’s called a strike authorization vote. Contrary to what some believe this was not a call to strike that day. It was an authorization by the guild’s members to call for a strike if a deal can not be reached. The vote was 97.9% to 2.1%. In other words, there is overwhelming support among the writers for a strike. The idea is that this unification sends a message to the AMPTP that they will not be able to sew division among guild members to force the WGA to make a less favorable deal. What this authorization says is the deal points being negotiated are important enough that it is worth it to writers to strike.
Presumably, if a deal cannot be reached between the WGA and the AMPTP by the May 1st deadline then a strike will begin on May 2nd.
Subscribe now
For that reason I decided to re-watch the Danny DeVito-directed Hoffa (DeVito both directs and stars in the movie) seeking perhaps some wisdom, and a little inspiration if a strike does indeed occur.
Movie Life Lesson: In every conflict there are casualties. The question is what is gained and what is lost?
It is worth mentioning taking a moment here to mention what a stupendous career Danny DeVito has had in Hollywood. There are few people who can lay claim to so much success wearing so many different hats. To wit:
He starts off as an actor in One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest playing patient, “Martini,” first in the off-Broadway production and then in the 1975 film directed by Milos Forman and based on the Ken Kesey novel.
In 1978, he stars in the hit television show, “Taxi” playing “Louie De Palma” which runs for five years
Over the next two decades he stars in more hit movies, among them Terms of Endearment, Romancing the Stone, Jewel of the Nile, War of the Roses (which he also directs), Ruthless People, Throw Momma From The Train (which he also directs), Twins, Other People’s Money, Batman Returns, and Get Shorty (which he also produces).
His company Jersey Films, in addition to producing Get Shorty, also produces Pulp Fiction, Gattaca, Man on the Moon (which he also stars in), and Garden State. He also produces the tv show Reno 911.
Then he returns to television as both actor and producer in the hit FX comedy series, “It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia” playing “Frank Reynolds.”
Wow.
In the middle of this stunning career, he directs and produces “Hoffa.”
So, let’s get into the movie and take a look at the Movie Life Lesson.
Quick disclaimer: Jimmy Hoffa’s actual life is far more complex than any movie can capture. This series is called MOVIE Life Lessons. My focus are the lessons we can take from the themes and performances in our favorite movies, which in the case of biopics like “Hoffa,” are distillations of a person’s life into a story. It is not the entirety of their life. Thus this post is not meant as a referendum or endorsement of Hoffa the man, but only as a recognition of the lessons we can take from Hoffa, the movie.
The movie is written by David Mamet, in his trademark tough-talking, straightforward, streetwise staccato, dialogue, so it is perhaps not surprising that today’s Movie Life Lesson is distinctly Mametian.
During a truckers' labor strike that is about to turn into a riot, a reporter asks Nicholson’s “Jimmy Hoffa” if he could have anticipated the violence that is about to occur prior to organizing the labor strike.
Hoffa cuts him off and says
“In every conflict there are casualties, the question is what is gained and what is lost?”
Too often we try to sanitize the world, to minimize life’s inherent risks. We claim to do it for our kids. We claim to do it for the good of society. This is not to discount those feelings or some of the good that undoubtedly comes from rethinking our world and the risks take living in it. (I like seat belts for example).
Share
However, the degree to which we engage in self-censorship in order to shield ourselves from the ugliness of the world, from inflicting emotional harm as much or more than physical harm, and from generally making ourselves feel bad about things, is, I suspect, very high.
Unfortunately, too often what ends up happening is reality comes along and smacks us in our faces.
Now, that’s life. It’s bound to happen. What really hurts is when you’re unprepared for it.
There is a funny episode of the show "Friends" that begins with the gang sitting around watching the movie "Old Yeller." Lisa Kudrow's “Phoebe” enters the apartment right before the end of the movie which she knows, sees all of her friends teary-eyed, and naively asks them why they’re so sad. It’s the end of Old Yeller, they explain. Like duh.
Phoebe has no idea what they’re talking about.
The joke it turns out is that Phoebe has never seen the end of Old Yeller . It seems her mother, never wanting to upset young Phoebe, always turned sad movies off before she saw the endings. Like when Travis has to put Old Yeller down. The teaser to the episode ends when Phoebe sees the ending of the movie for the first time and is horrified.
Cue the Big Laughs.
Cut to The Rembrandt’s irritatingly catchy, “I’ll Be There For You.”
youtube
Leave a comment
It’s a funny joke in a tv comedy, precisely because avoidance of reality leads to reality only leads to reality biting us in the ass. Often unexpectedly.
This brings us back to “Hoffa,” the WGA-AMPTP contract negotiations, the possibility of a writers' strike, and today’s Movie Life Lesson.
The question is what is gained and what is lost?”
This lesson is applicable in more than just conflict scenarios. Forget for a moment that much of life is conflict in one sense or another, what about just as a question of measuring our own success.
A good way to determine success is by measuring what is gained and what is lost. Did you come out ahead or behind? Also, because no success comes without sacrifice.
Success lies in the answers to the questions:
1.What is your goal?
2.What did it cost you?
3. What did you gain?
4. Was it worth it?
Leave a comment
Subscribe now
The thing to remember about Hoffa’s Movie Life Lesson is that you want to try and applied that calculation before the fact, not after.
After the fact is what’s called simply a life lesson. That’s when we get smacked in the face. After which, hopefully, we learn our lessons.
The point of this blog is to try and learn the lessons from the movies we love so we can incorporate those lessons into our lives to be more successful. In this case, it is probably best to ask ourselves the question, “what is lost and what is gained” before we take on various challenges and accept responsibilities in life. Precisely so we don’t get smacked in the face when we do.
How do we do that? How do we measure what is gained and what is lost before we undertake an endeavor?
The answer perhaps lies in the question asked of Hoffa by the reporter in the movie… “Could this have been prevented?”
When you seek to accomplish something in your life — be it professional, personal, mental, physical, or spiritual — if it is a worthwhile pursuit, it will require of you certain sacrifices.
This is the “what is lost” part of the Movie Life Lesson.
The takeaway from this Movie Life Lesson is that it is best to try and anticipate what that might be beforehand.
This brings to mind a similar Movie Life Lesson from the movie “Spy Game” in which Robert Redford teaches:
When Is It Time To Build The Ark? Before the rain.
Point being, part of success is determined by preparation.
So, do what you can to understand the risks of something before it occurs. Even if it means facing uncomfortable truths. That way you can take steps to avoid or limit that risk, as well as your potential losses), and to increase your chances of success as well as what you stand to gain. As opposed to jumping in prematurely or going off half-cocked.
If the loss is unavoidable, then it is best to know that beforehand so you can choose whether you’re willing to suffer that loss to achieve your end goal. If the answer is yes, then best to steel yourself ahead of time.
So, how do we measure what will be gained versus what will be lost beforehand?
Make a Pro vs Con list.
Sounds funny, I know. But often life’s best tools are the simplest ones. I have a very successful friend who rarely makes a big decision without first making a pro vs con list.
Are you someone who makes pro vs con lists? If not, how do you weigh your success? Both before and after the endeavor.
Leave a comment
One of the things which is fascinating about the internet is that when the question of a conflict or a disagreement (or a disagreement about a conflict; see Ukraine-Russia War) is posed online, the responses for and against are a kind of real-time pro vs con argument weighing whether said action/conflict/endeavor is worth it. That’s not to say that online opinions should be the guiding force, only that as a discussion of what might be gained versus what might be lost is illuminating. Especially interns of what people value.
This brings us back to the looming Hollywood writer’s strike.
Based on the strike authorization vote it seems clear that the writers have considered what we stand to lose if we do not negotiate what we consider to be fair gains contractually to compensate us for our work. And it has been deemed worthy of striking over it if those asks are not met on key issues.
The question that remains now is whether the tactics taken thus far, including the possibility of a strike, will be worth it in the end?
The way that will be measured will be in terms of what is lost versus what is gained, in terms of people’s careers, and in terms of lives.
Which is pretty much always true in life.
Here endeth the lesson.
Subscribe now
**A quick note: I intend to discuss the specifics of the strike leading up it, should it occur. But I will be doing so in separate posts.
Thanks for following along.
Elice Island is a reader-supported publication. To receive new posts and support my work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber.
0 notes
Text
WHAT HAPPENS IN THE LADIES ROOM STAYS IN LADIES ROOM
WHAT HAPPENS IN THE LADIES ROOM STAYS IN LADIES ROOM - https://keywestlou.com/what-happens-in-the-ladies-room-stays-in-ladies-room/"What happens in the ladies room stays in ladies room." An extension of the Vegs saying. It was the first day of the Speaker vote. Three female representatives were in the ladies room. Rep. Debbie Dingell reported on the confrontation between Reps. Marjorie Taylor Greene and Lauren Boebert. A brief strong argument between Greene and Boebert. Subject matter concerned why one was not supporting McCarthy's election. Nothing more known except after a hurried exchange of words, one immediately exited the ladies room. On this day in 1991, Eastern Airlines went out of business. Closed down for good. I was shocked. Never expected a giant airline such as Eastern to go under. Eastern has been operating for more than 60 years. It had been my carrier of choice. Jimmy Buffett and the Coral Reefer Band will appear on two separate evenings in February. February 9 and 11 at the Coffee Butler Amphitheatre. Tickets $99 for general admission lawn and $149 for reserved seating. The Amphitheater's capacity 3,500. Buffett a son of Key West. His success was born here. Even though an international star, he found the time over the years to appear and do a free concert. Generally on Duval. People packed the streets for blocks. It appears Buffett concerts have gone the way of housing in Key West. Expensive! Sad also. His free street appearances were a wonderful tribute and thank you to his beginnings. Locals benefitted. Fewer locals and more tourists will be at the Amphitheater. Many will have come in just for the concerts. The hotels and restaurants will do a booming business. I take nothing away from Buffett. A great person and entertainer. Generous in many respects. If this is how it now is, so be it. Leaves a bit of sour taste in my mouth, however. Enjoy your day!
0 notes
Text
Follower Snippet Poll Actual Results
Hey ya’ll, I just want to thank everyone again for participating in the poll, I really apperciate you taking the time to give me our opinion on what you’d like. However an unforseen issue occured with the poll that puts the results a bit in the air.
TL;DR: The poll was rigged, massively, by a vote botter/somone with a VPN. In the read more I’ll explain more about what exactly happened but thats the long and short of it. The winner of the poll with 239 votes was Ok Again, in second place was Rebirth with 235 votes, and in last was Victory Piza with... 23 votes.
Before I explain the details of what went down, I’d like to ask you all one more time to extend your opinions and time to me in the form of a google form, where I want to ask your opinions on the situation and what you think about it/should be done in the future. I love hearing from you guys, so I would very much apperciate your opinions.
Here is the link to the google form, Thank you for helping me greatly by filling it out, it’s very short, should only take 2 minutes maximum.
And now, unto the long verions of what happened:
Admittedly, when I made the poll I was already sure Rebirth would win. This is because I’ve seen far more engagement on Rebirth than Ok Again or Victory Pizza even now when all were being promoted side by side. So the intial votes coming in was not suprising at all:
This trend continued for a good 3 days of the poll, with Victory Pizza gaining a few votes, Ok Again gaining more, but Rebirth keeping a very healthy lead. I continued to passively moniter the numbers untill the morning of day 3, when I saw somthing strange happen. Ok Again had a massive surge in votes, and while the picture below doesn’t show it because I tokk this before class, by the time it was after my morning class Ok Again had a lead of 2-3 votes.
I was suprised by this as, again, I thought Rebirth was going to win. But ultimately I shrugged it off. Seeing that the votes were so close, I decided to make a reblog the post showing the results, just to spice things up. After that I saw a an influx of votes coming in, mostly going towards Rebirth, giving it a lead.
Then the next morning Later that day I asked some of my friends on Discord, including my Fiance, if they’d vote on my poll for the story they liked the most. They did so and shared that they quite enjoyed Rebirth, because of this and votes from you guys, Rebirth took the lead again. Untill the next morning:
At this point I was suspicious, but I couldn’t verify (or didn’t know how to at this point, but I’ll get to that later) if there was a vote botter, because at this point there was a trend of whenever Rebrith pulled ahead, Ok Again votes would surge untill it was in the lead. So I decided to do a sneaky with my Fiance, and asked him if he’d hop on his VPN and add just enough votes to Rebirth that it had a lead. Just to see if Ok Again votes would spike again. The result:
It took under an hour for Ok Again votes to spike in order to get a lead over Rebrith. Now, up untill this point I haven’t mentioned that I can see a timeline graph of votes. This timeline helped me and my Fiance look over the voting times and grown more suspicious as the Ok Again votes were acting very strangely as they would only ever seem to grow in response to Rebirth Votes:
At this point our suspiciouns were confirmed, there was somone vote botting on the behalf of Ok Again. So my Fiance and I just decided “screw it, lets just see how far this botter will go.” Cue the halloween race in which we both hoped on VPNs and artifically inflated Rebirth’s Votes as Ok Again’s votes inflated in direct response. The resulting graph looked like this:
Also when I jimmied around with the security setting for the poll it gave me this gem:
But the most damning peice of evidence was the logs. Earilier I mentioned I didn’t know how to directly verify if there was a botter, but my Fiance pointed out there was a tab that showed me all the IP adresses of voters. I’m not going to supply a picture of this for odvious reasons, but lets just say there are 3 IP adresses that show up verrrrrrry often, my own, my fiances, and somone elses that shows up more than both of us.
Again, TL;DR: The vote was rigged.
If you’ve read this far I’d like to thank you, for reading, for voting on the poll if you did, and if you are so inclined, sharing your opinion of this situation with me on the google form I made.
link for it is here.
I hope ya’ll have a super nice day!
#not a prompt#esper speaks#follower snippet continuation#poll#rigged poll#thank you all again#while things didn't pan out as expected#I appercaite everyone;s effort none the less
30 notes
·
View notes
Text
My first thought in regard to every band that gets played on my radio station
ACDC: Every dad’s favourite band
Adams, Bryan: Every mom’s favourite singer until Michael Buble came along
Aerosmith: haha they thought Vince Neil was a lady
Alice Cooper: he’s a Game Of Thrones fanboy and I have proof
Alice In Chains: my sister doesn’t like them because she decided AC were Alice Cooper’s initials ONLY
Allman Brothers Band: good music for dropping acid to
Allman, Gregg: That’s too many Gs for one name
Animals: House Of The Rising Sun, or who even cares
Argent: Sometimes Hold Your Head Up is really catchy
Asia: Tuesdays
Autograph: one of the members went on to be a pharmacist
Bachman-Turner Overdrive: There are just so many pop culture jokes about Taking Care Of Business that whatever I say won’t be as funny
Bad Company: with their song; Bad Company, off their album; Bad Company
Benatar, Pat: Always getting her confused with Patti Smith
Black Crowes: I like them for Lickin, but it doesn’t seem to exist outside of one shoddy video on youtube and my old CD
Blackfoot: this band name feels kind of racy
Black Sabbath: Dio was not better or worse than Ozzy; just different
Blondie: I like Call Me, but Blondie confuses me stylistically
Blue Oyster Cult: MORE COWBELL
Bon Jovi: Hello, childhood trauma, I missed you
Boston: ONE GUY. ONE GUY DID IT ALL AND NO ONE KNOWS
Bowie, David: Don’t let your children watch The Man Who Fell To Earth, or David Bowie’s will end up being the third penis they see in life
Browne, Jackson: Another musician ruined by Supernatural
Buffalo Springfield: Jack Nicholson was at the riot they sing about
Burdon, Eric: no ideas, brain empty
Bush: ditto
Candlebox: ditto once more. Who are these people?
Cars: This band feels so gay and so straight at the same time, I can only assume they’re the poster children of bisexual panic
Cheap Trick: I played Dream Police on Guitar Hero so fucking much because it was the only song anyone who played with me could keep up with
Chicago: Chicago 30 exists, but they do not have 30 albums. Fucking riddle me that
Clapton, Eric: 6 discs in one Greatest Hits is too many. That’s called “re releasing your discography”
Cochrane, Tom: For some reason, everyone thinks Rascal Flats did it better
Cocker, Joe: Belushi did it right
Collective Soul: who?
Collins, Phil: If his biggest hits were done by MCR, they would be emo anthems, but because he’s 5′6″ and from the 80s, they’re not
Cream: *Vietnam flashbacks on the hippie side*
CCR: *Vietnam flashbacks on the war side*
CSNY: David Crosby; meh
Deep Purple: THEY’RE SO MUCH MORE THAN SMOKE ON THE WATER
Def Leppard: the only music for when you’re a heartbroken bitch but also a sexy one
Derek And The Dominos: Clapton and ‘Layla’ broke up
Derringer, Rick: Tom Petty if he was from the midwest
Dio: You thought it was an anime reference, but it was me, Dio
Dire Straits: You can tell how bigoted a radio station is based on how much of Money For Nothing they censor
Doobie Brothers: I have yet to smoke weed, but I listen to the Doobies, and I think that’s pretty close
Dylan, Bob: I take back everything I said about him in my youth
Eagles: Hotel California isn’t their best song, but the memes that come from it are second to none
Edgar Winter Group: @the--blackdahlia
Electric Light Orchestra: Actually an orchestra and sound a fuckton like George Harrison
ELO: I really hesitate to ask what happens with the 7 virgins and a mule
Essex, David: no prominent memories of him
Fabulous Thunderbirds: cannot spell
Faces: Who on earth thought that was a good album name?
Faith No More: I got nothing
Fixx: One Thing Leads To Another is a damn bop
Fleetwood Mac: I ain’t straight, but I’m simply not enough of a witch to enjoy them to full potential
Fogerty, John: He got sued cause he sounded like himself
Foghat: Slow Ride slowly becoming less coherent feels like a drug trip
Foo Fighters: He was just excited to buy a grill
Ford, Lita: deserved better
Foreigner: dramatically overplayed
Frampton, Peter: a masterful user of the talk box
Free: dramatically underplayed
Gabriel, Peter: leaving Genesis changed him a lot
Genesis: if someone likes Genesis, clarify the era, because yes, it does matter
Georgia Satellites: sing like you have a cactus in your ass
Golden Earring: Twilight Zone slaps, but it doesn’t slap as hard as this station thinks it does
Grand Funk Railroad: Funk
Grateful Dead: I like their aesthetic more than their music
Great White: there are so many fucking shark jokes
Greenbaum, Norman: makes me think of Subway for some reason
Green Day: the first of the emo revolution
Greg Kihn Band: RocKihnRoll is literally the most clever album name I’ve ever seen
Guns N Roses: They have more than three good songs, but radio stations never recognize that
Hagar, Sammy: I’m still trying to figure out where he lived to take 16 hours to get to LA driving 55 and how fucking fast was he driving beforehand?
Harrison, George: He went from religious to rock, and if he had continued rocking, he would have gotten too cool
Head East: I respect people who use breakfast foods as album names
Heart: Magic Man and Barracuda are played at least once every goddamn day. They’re not even the best songs!
Hendrix, Jimi: I have both a cousin and a sibling named after Hendrix references
Henley, Don: Dirty Laundry gives me too much inspiration
Hollies: Somehow sound like they’re both from the 60s and the 80s at the same time
Idol, Billy: he’s doing well for himself
INXS: Terminator vibes
Iris, Donnie: knockoff Roy Orbison
James Gang: too many funks
Jane’s Addiction: if TMNT had a grunge band representative
Jefferson Airplane: *assorted cheers*
Jefferson Starship: *assorted boos*
Jethro Tull: The only band to make you feel not cool enough to play the flute
Jett, Joan: icon
J. Geils Band: I requested them on the radio once and it got played
Joel, Billy: he really did just air everybody’s business like that
John Cafferty And The Beaver Brown Band: literally wtf is that name
John, Elton: yarn Elton sits in my basement, unstaring. Please someone take him from me
Joplin, Janis: Queen
Journey: Stop overplaying Don’t Stop Believing. It takes away from the rest of the repetoire
Judas Priest: literally started the gay leather aesthetic
Kansas: another fucking band Supernatural stole
Kenny Wayne Shepherd: the man confuses me to the point where he isn’t in the right place alphabetically
Kiss: Mick Mars and I will simply have to disagree on the subject
Kravitz, Lenny: runaway vibes
Led Zeppelin: Fucking fight me if you don’t think they’re the most talented band (maybe not the most talented individually, but collectively, no one comes close)
Lennon, John: My least favourite Beatle for reasons
Live: I got nothin
Living Colour: slap a decent amount
Loverboy: do you not get TURNT the fuck up to the big Loverboy hits? Who hurt you??
Lynyrd Skynyrd: Sweet Home Alabama is a Neil Young diss track
Marshall Tucker Band: no opinion
Manfred Mann’s Earth Band: VERY STRONG OPINIONS THAT THEY AREN’T GOOD
McCartney, Paul/Wings: Power couple
Meatloaf: I have nothing but respect for a man who willingly named himself Meatloaf
Mellencamp, John: voted cutest lesbian of 1987
Metallica: I liked their appearance on Jimmy Fallon
Midnight Oil: I get them confused for Talking Heads a lot
Modern English: who?
Molly Hatchet: Hollies vibes, but also Georgia Satellites vibes
Money, Eddie: DAN AVIDAN, IF YOU SEE THIS, COVER TAKE ME HOME TONIGHT
Motley Crue: Stan Mick Mars and John Corabi. They’re the only ones who deserve it
Mott The Hoople: no one loves them except for David Bowie
Mountain: props for naming an album ‘Climbing’
Nazareth: I want to make a John Mulaney joke here, but I can never come up with one
Nicks, Stevie: witch queen
Night Ranger: I get them confused with Urge Overkill
Nirvana: Kurt Cobain was the ally grunge needed
Nova, Aldo: he’s Canadian, at least
Nugent, Ted: *serves a ghost as jerky*
Offspring: nothing here
Osbourne, Ozzy: this bitch crazy
Outfield: Your Love is kind of a sketchy song, but it slaps hard
Palmer, Robert: low quality Eddie Money
Pearl Jam: *grunts in Eddie Vedder*
Petty, Tom: I have so many feelings about Tom Petty and they are all good
Pink Floyd: which one is Pink?
Plant, Robert: solo career is a crapshoot, but his voice is unparalleled
Poison: I want them to write a song called ‘Alice Cooper’
Pretenders: I want to say good things, but I have nothing to say
Queen: A doctor of astrophysics, a screaming girl, a disco queen and a diva walk into a bar. It’s Queen; they’re there to play a gig
Queensryche: neutral opinion
Quiet Riot: they got big because of a song they hated. I love that
Rafferty, Gerry: the second-sexiest sax opening in all of music
Rainbow: Ritchie Blackmore created something very magnificent
Ram Jam: one good song and they didn’t even write it
Ratt: I’m sure they have more than Round And Round, but I don’t know it
RHCP: funky, but if you have paid money to hear them, you’re going to The Bad Place (I don’t make the rules)
Red Rider: basically Golden Earring
Reed, Lou: Walk On The Wild Side would be such a cool song if it wasn’t so dull
REM: American Tragically Hip
REO Speedwagon: Props for having a dad joke as an album title
Rolling Stones: Never in my life could I imagine the drummer being named anything but Charlie
Rush: How to make being uncool the coolest fucking shit
Santana: The world needs more Santana
Scandal: There’s something really funny about The Warrior being my brother’s “song” with his girlfriend
Scorpions: Was Wind Of Change written by the CIA? Only the spotify podcast I got an ad for once could say
Seger, Bob: A different variety of Eric Clapton (frankly a better variety, but that’s just me)
Simple Minds: we ALL forgot about you
Skid Row: Sebastian Bach is prettier than all of us
Soundgarden: music that makes you feel like you dunked your head underwater
Springsteen, Bruce: my arch-nemesis. Maybe someday, he’ll find out about it
Squeeze: according to my friends, the stupidest band name ever, but they’re theatre kids, so you know
Squier, Billy: If he can make it through 1984 alive, you can make it through whatever bad day you’re having
Stealers Wheel: Yet another band who I always mistake for George Harrison
Steely Dan: my house’s nickname for the Robber in Settlers Of Catan
Steppenwolf: Either makes me think of Jay & Silent Bob, Jack Nicholson, or that time I had to cut 6lbs of onions
Steve Miller Band: when you’re in the right mood, they slap hard
Stewart, Rod: my soundtrack to summer 2015
Stills, Stephen: Love The One You’re With Is Catchy, but the lyrics are questionable
Stone Temple Pilots: the only band to write a song about goo you smear on yourself
Stray Cats: an obscene amount of merch is available for them
Styx: Supernatural would have ruined them for me too if I hadn’t been into them previously.
Supertramp: I hunted for Breakfast In America for two years and it was worth every hunt
Sweet: I will never understand my two-month obsession with Ballroom Blitz when I was 15, but it was legit all I listened to
Talking Heads: you may find yourself in a pizza hut. And you may find yourself in a taco bell. And you may find yourself at the combination pizza hut and taco bell. And you may ask yourself; ‘how did I get here?’
Temple Of The Dog: I keep confusing them for Nazareth
Ten Years After: somehow still relevant
Tesla: not the car or the dude
The Beatles: Evokes a lot of opinions from people. Mine is that I love them
The Clash: I showed my sister the ‘Lock The Taskbar’ vine ONCE and it still kills her
The Doors: evokes teenage terror from deep within my soul
The Guess Who: Canada’s answer to confusing question-themed band names
The Kinks: kinky
The Police: wrote the theme of 2020 and everyone somehow forgot it was about a teacher resisting becoming a pedophile
The Ramones: playing all of their songs in a row wouldn’t take more than 2 hours
The Romantics: you don’t think you know them, but if you’ve seen Shrek 2, you have
The Who: If someone can explain Tommy to me, I’d be glad to hear it
The Zombies: I think they happened because of the 60s
Thin Lizzy: Could the boys maybe leave town?
Thorogood, George: blues, but make it modern
Toto: the most memed song behind All Star
Townshend, Pete: just makes me think of the end of Mr. Deeds
T-Rex: Mark Bolan is an icon
Triumph: The no-name brand of Rush
Tubes: like the yogurt
Twisted Sister: they did a christmas album and my mom does NOT hate it
U2: U2 Movers; we move in mysterious ways
Van Halen: RIP Eddie
Van Morrison: honestly, who’s named Van?
Vaughn, Stevie Ray: Steamy Ray Vaughn
Walsh, Joe: The Smoker You Drink The Player You Get
War: Foghat, but even groovier
Whitesnake: the most successful band to be named after a penis
Wright, Gary: the 90s thanks him for writing the song every movie used for the “guy sees cute girl and it’s love at first sight” scene
Yes: To Be Continued
Young, Neil: The best part of CSNY
Zevon, Warren: the album cover of Excitable Boy makes me deeply uncomfortable for reasons I don’t understand
ZZ Top: has been the same three guys since 1969. Lineup unchanged.
3 Doors Down: They feel a little modern to be on a classic rock station, but whatever
38 Special: Why 38?
330 notes
·
View notes
Note
Charlie Chan. Who is fascinating, because he was created explictly to be an anti-Yellow Peril character. Unlike most Chinese characters of the time, he's both intelligent, physically capable, and unambiguously heroic. In the novels, he's simultaneously proud of being Chinese AND proud of being an American citizen. He gives orders and instructions to white people, and the narrative treats this as perfectly normal and acceptable. There's a bit in the first book, when an attempt to trap the..(1/2)
(cont'd)There's a bit in the first book where an attempt to trap the protagonist fails, because a message supposedly from Charlie clearly isn't because Charlie's English isn't broken, it's like poetry. Etc. The movies made him more stereotypical, & played by white actors in yellowface, but still, he's a heroic Chinese man, who is as capable and patriotic as any white man. Nowadays, he's thought of as racist caricature. Which he is, but still, it makes one think.
I'm not nearly as acquainted with Charlie Chan as you are (and I definitely suspected he was less racist in the original books because that's nearly always the norm when it comes to pulp characters) but yeah, that "Which he is" is forever going to be the most unfortunate and saddest part of it all when it comes to Charlie Chan. For all the virtues that can be bestowed on Charlie Chan, for everything great that the character had going for him and inspired, the fact that the least offensive image of the character I could find to put here for illustration's sake is from the Hanna-Barbera cartoon kinda exemplifies the big elephant in the room when it comes to Charlie.
Charlie Chan is a great example of two things: One is the way progress is never a fixed quantity and often what was progressive and forward-thinking in it's time can become something outdated and backwards and downright offensive given enough time, and the 2nd is my constant stressing that this is all the more incentive to reclaim the pulps and either highlight or fix aspects of them, instead of dismissing every aspect of them based on the preconception that everything about it's history is unforgivably bigoted and must be handled with the nuance of a sledgehammer.
I stress time and time again the need to highlight and understand the prejudices that went into pulps, because either ignoring them or wielding them as a weapon to attack them does no favors to anyone. The pulps weren't exceptionally bigoted - look at literally any medium in it's time period and you'll find bigotry and prejudice and hatred - and they were exceptional in the number of POC heroes and heroines. Pulps were a medium of experimentation and cheap entertainment that gave way to much, much more varied kinds of protagonists than were permitted in films, serials, novels, comics and radio serials of the day. Imagine if no one was allowed to bring up and discuss superheroes without mentioning the Superman Slap-a-Jap posters or the Captain Marvel story so horrifingly racist it was recounted by an American ambassador after it deeply offended a friend's son and a major influence on the 1950s anti-comic trials. "Pulp fiction had deeply, unforgivingly racist depictions that deserve intense scrutiny and cannot be ignored" and "Pulp fiction was significantly ahead of every other medium at the time in regards to authors and editors striving to publish stories about heroic POCs, this cannot be dismissed and is something that needs to be perpetuated" are not exclusive facts. "A product of it's time" is not an excuse and never was, but it's a fact nevertheless.
Every time someone speaks favorably of Charlie Chan in any capacity, they have to start with a long preface of everything positive that the character had going for him. Yes, he's a deliberate subversion of the Yellow Peril, he's a heroic protagonist, he's plump and good-natured and humorous but far from a joke, he's friendly and pleasant and well-educated and wise, he's a good dad and family man and a terrifically sharp detective who's so good at his job he gets called to solve crimes all over the world, and none of these traits are apparent to people who have to google the character and repeteadly see a white man in awful make-up into every single image of the character, who watch the movies and cringe at the broken English. It's hardly relevant in the face of all the Asian-American critics who acknowledge the character's virtues but rightfully point out that this fortune-cookie spouting caricature, acting subservient to whites and whose virtues are based around his proximity to a white American ideal, doesn't represent them and they shouldn't pretend it does.
Which isn't to say that to like Charlie Chan is "wrong", a lot of East Asians love Charlie and the character's obviously got fans in Asian Americans. It's a complicated subject and I obviously cannot begin to vouch in a subject so heavily based around perceptions I cannot experience. And I deeply detest the idea of speaking for others on their particular experiences on this kind of matter, which is something Americans do a lot everytime they talk about representation in media.
So instead, I'm going to tackle this on a roundabout manner by going on an unrelated tangent to bring up an example of representation that isn't quite representative of what it's supposed to be, has a lot of issues that have been dissected by critics among the people it was supposed to represent, and none of that stopped the character from being popular and beloved and from being claimed anyway. And it's a Brazilian fighting game character, which means it's completely within my ballpark.
Yeah, obviously Blanka doesn't look like anyone who lives in Brazil (whatever resemblance he bears to redheaded jungle protectors of Brazilian folklore is purely accidental). Obviously neither Jimmy nor Blanka are Brazilian names or even exist in the Portuguese lexicon. Obviously there are issues in Street Fighter's approach to representation across the board, sure, and I'd actually say Laura is much worse than Blanka in that regard (again, my opinion, obviously not universal), but the fact remains that Blanka is and has always been pretty controversial. Obviously there's Brazilians who took offense to Blanka and they weren't wrong to do so, and I obviously do not speak for everyone here, that goes without saying.
Obviously the idea that Brazil's major representative in a global cast of characters, the first big name Brazilian character in videogames, is going to be a freakish jungle monster who roars and bites faces has problems, as is the fact that all the others get to be regular people representing fighting styles from their countries while Blanka doesn't. None of the Brazilian SF characters represent Capoeira, which is kinda shitty to be honest. And there's a whole stereotype of Brazil as a backwards land of beasts and savages that Blanka's creation played into. There's no shortage of ground to criticize Blanka's representation and Ono actually apologized in an interview once, but then he learned one teensy little thing:
Street Fighter is very popular on Brazil. Would you like to leave a message to the fans from there?
"Ono: Yes, I'm aware. At the time of Street Fighter II a lot of the arcade machines produced went there, so I knew we had lots of fans there. A message to Brazilians, well, I'd like to apologize. I know Blanka's a weird character and I don't want any Brazilian to feel uncomfortable with that.
When Blanka was conceived, we knew there were forests in Brazil, and so we thought he could look like that. I was actually kinda nervous knowing I'd meet Brazilian journalists. Still, this is the first Street Fighter in ten years, so we'd like all fans to play, including Brazilians, which are many.
Thanks. Well, but you should know that Brazilians love Blanka
"Ono: Ah, good! I was scared of getting beat up if I ever went to São Paulo! (laughs)"
(That's from a 2012 tv special called The Greatest Brazilian of All Time where over a million viewers voted to elect whoever they wanted, and Blanka was going to win. He was polling ahead of Aryton Senna and PELÉ, fucking Pelé, yes this happened. He wasn't even disqualified for being a cartoon character, it was an open poll, he was disqualified due to canon stating he had been born in Thailand, which I think may have been retconned since then. Again, A MILLION BRAZILLIANS voted for this contest, and Blanka was going to win.)
Blanka is great and sweet and lovable, he made the best out of the incredible shitty hands fate dealt him and became a cool and strong green man who shoots lightning and flies, a self-taught warrior who rides whales and planes to fighting tournaments, and he loves his mom and friends and kicks ass and after he's done he dances in joy and gives the kids of his village piggyback rides, and Brazil loves him. He doesn't represent any existing person or fighting style, he's rooted in a negative stereotype and incorrect assumptions, he's not even really Brazilian, and he's our boy and nobody can take him away from us.
No criticism of Blanka, no matter how in-depth or even right it is, is ever going to affect that, because regardless of what was wrong or misguided and offensive about him, we claimed him and loved him so throughly that Capcom kept playing up Brazilian representation in every subsequent game post Alpha, and because of Blanka's impact and reception in such a big game, Brazilian characters have become a staple of fighting games, and that's how we got much more diverse representatives in those games. Fighting games have more Brazilian representation than LITERALLY ANYTHING ELSE on media not produced here. It started as BAD representation, with way less thought put into it than Charlie Chan, and it still mattered to a lot of Brazilians who reclaimed it and made it better than it was ever intended to be, and as a response to it, it gradually became better.
Progress is not a fixed quantity, it's an uphill battle, and it's not unwinnable. Everything's gotta start somewhere.
The Good Asian is a ongoing comic that I think does the best job I've seen yet of handling an Asian American detective protagonist, which is not really a high bar in the first place, and more to the point, The Good Asian illustrates the 2nd part: the reclaiming. The Good Asian deals a lot with the realities that a 1930s Asian-American detective would run into, the strained circumstances and relationships between said character and the world around him, because it's born from an author who took a look at Charlie Chan and Mr Moto and the like and recognized the potential in those stories that could not be fulfilled in it's time period by the people writing said stories.
The Good Asian pays little reverence to Charlie Chan, but it acknowledges that it cannot exist without Charlie Chan, and it reclaims the Charlie Chan premise at the hands of someone more adequately equipped to tell a gripping story that goes places none of Charlie's contemporaries would ever go. Regardless of how good or bad of representation Charlie Chan was, Charlie Chan mattered and was beloved and inspired a better example for others to improve on or rebel against.
I desperately wish that I could google Charlie Chan without having to look at a guy in yellowface, and the ONLY way that's going to happen is if the character ever gets meaningfully brought back and reclaimed for good by people who can meaningfully tackle the character and present him as he should have always been presented.
And then, I imagine it would be a lot easier to show people on how swell Charlie really is. A true, positive role model and hero, who no longer has to look like a gross cartoon to be able to exist at all. Who can finally be what he was always meant to be, and always was deep down.
#replies tag#pulp heroes#pulp fiction#charlie chan#detective fiction#the good asian#street fighter#blanka
53 notes
·
View notes
Last Seen Blogs
dannbob
Untitled
blood--and--coffee
Blood And Coffee
stephenmof-blog
STEPHEN MOF
beautifulchronicle-blog
It's never too late
em-marano
prisoner to my decisions