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quietlysatan · 5 years

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Year One: The Year of Revelations Part 1 of the Harry Potter and the Diplomat's Son Series - Lady Angel (dameange), AO3

Link: Here!!

Rating: T for too fucking sweet ohmygod it’s so great

Favorite Quote(s): I love these sort of things, and people, the sort who can act as proper as their situation calls for one second, and then a regular human the next.

Severus had to violently subdue his urge to cast a silencing spell at the naked toddler. But he watched the scene unfold with curiosity. Mere moments before, the boy had been the perfect, docile high society child. Seen, but not heard, a perfect little complement to the seemingly perfect aristocratic life. Now, he was laughing and tickling, and generally acting like an eleven year old boy should. Severus found this dichotomy of interest.

Harbin, or Hari, Harry’s name under his adoptive parents, is still just as oblivious as he always has been for all that he’s not dumbing himself down anymore, or possibly never at all if the age he was "lost” is right...

Severus was curious, of course, but kept his own counsel, choosing to turn his attention back to the transfigured vase, changing it into the symbol of his house, although a nonpoisonous one. Chevalier seemed to recognize this as he held his hand out for the green garden snake. Father and son seemed to be mesmerized by the snake, Harbin going so far as to hiss to it, laughing in delight when it hissed back.

I love Slytherins, and this whole family is Slytherin fight me

Those muggleborns and their families that Severus had to contact in the years before Harbin Chevalier either stared in stupid gapped-mouth wonder or exclaimed over everything like it was the second coming of Merlin. The Chevaliers and their bodyguard, instead, smoothly glided about Diagon Alley as if they owned it. Purebloods that usually turned up their noses at everyone, nodded at them with gentility and sharing space with them rather than glaring them out of the way.

Embarrassing but loving parents is my favorite thing

Seeing that no one was paying attention to them at all, he pondered how she could think he was growing up so fast when it felt like forever just since Professor Snape had come to the house. Mothers could be strange creatures like that.

I love Ron, he’s the dumbest smart person in the whole series and he’s such a sweetheart, and he always means well, and whenever authors get it right I fall a little bit in love with their works

The girl gave Weasley a tremulous smile. The boy fell like a domino. Pathetic.

I just think this is really important and something not a lot of authors actually touch on when writing Harry Potter stories, even in canon we barely get any of this if at all, at least as far as the movies are concerned which is such a shame

Severus watched as the child contemplated his toy. An orphan never stopped wondering about their biological parents, no matter how happy they were with their current situation. Harbin wandered out of his classroom with nary a goodbye. He forgave the slight, knowing that ruminations about his birth parents were taking up the boy’s entire mind.

I actually want this one tattoed on me

“Nous apprenons. Nous planifions.”

Words & Chapter(s): 33,610 words, one-shot of what is current;y a 4 part series so far, though each entry is complete each piece of this series is also a one-shot, and I have plans to review each

Summary: this is the summary for the first entry, but I feel it rather gets the point across

Sometimes it isn’t about nature versus nurture. Sometimes it’s nature and nurture. Instead of being raised as Harry Potter by the Dursleys, he became Harbin Chevalier, the son of a French diplomat, and part of a loving Muggle family. What would have been different?

Score: 9459858495880883498439859.9..... So like, literally one of my actual top three reads, I’ve read this about six times and started learning French because of it.

Pairing(s): Eventual Draco Malfoy/Harry Potter does not happen until entry four of the series, Wolfstar!!! Background Sophie Chevalier/Uncle Jonah/Yves Chevalier, eventual Wolfstar

My personal headcanons for each of the (Lovely and wonderful) original characters general looks are as follows because I thought it would be nice to add: Sophie is tall, taller than Yves, but shorter then Jonah, though most humans are. Sophie has warm toned tan skin and dark, nearly black, brown hair and golden eyes as warm as the sun. I always picture her wearing fantastic evening gowns for no other reason than that I can.

Jonah looks like if Vin Diesel and Jason Statham were somehow combined if a bit taller and all around bigger, and his eyes are a deep nearly metallic grey, he is bald, mostly because he shaves his head. I tend to think of him wearing casual easy-to-move-in suits that seem emptier than they actually are.

Yves appears in my head as a slightly shorter than average man, though most don’t notice it past a passing observation, his personality is to warm, he’s a little tanner than most white people, but he is, in fact, white, he’s got beautiful warm friendly ocean blue eyes, and his hair is bright and blonde, a little wavy when left alone, but otherwise stylishly slicked into position. He tends to wear obviously nice, stylish yet comfortable suits similar to Tony Stark when he actually puts on a suit whenever I think about it, honestly, Yves is played by a blonde haired blue eyed RDJ sooooo, take that as you will

Warning(s): Past Child Abuse not very graphically described, but both parents are aware of how bad off he was. Child abandonment by Dumble-douche-bag The Dursleys. Said child was Harry in both situations. I don’t even know who else that would happen to in the HP Universe to be fair though.

The kidnapping of a different child. Not Harry in this case. No worries, he’s perfectly fine and his kidnapper is tormented by him the entire time regardless anyways which is great.

Temporary, understandable, and acceptable Ron bashing. (Spoiler here)

The basilisk thing happens, the philosipher’s stone happens, everybody is okay

Pros: It’s so good I PICKED A LANGUAGE TO LEARN BECAUSE OF IT. You cannot regret reading this. Even if you don’t care for Drarry, you’re gonna fucking love this regardless, and that doesn’t really happen until like the fourth-ish book anyways so...

But the french is so cool, if you hover over it there will be a translation presented automatically somehow, and since I’ve read this seventeen times I’m starting to recognize a few words, which, is awesome.

And Oooh The Game, I love The Game, for those of you who do not know, The Game is, essentially, what “Important People” do for fun, it’s the reason why there are seventy different utensils at a fancy dinner party, why we serve hors d'œuvre, why everything from how you stand, to your accent, to how you talk, and even how you walk, is important at Certain Social Functions, it is, essentially a political ploy, a game to see who is the most Cultered, so to speak. It is the reason why “Look underneath the underneath” is even a thing, for a more in-depth example I suggest watching someone play Dragon Age: Inquisition, specifically The Game mission/chapter/event.

But gods do I love The Game, it’s so much fun, and such a rush, you just have to be careful to turn off The Game when you’re done tho, and not to run out of batteries so-to-speak, They can sense exhaustian and it’s like sharks to blood once that happens

Harry really enjoys slightly seducing absolutely everyone within a five-foot radius, he’s so sweet, and charming, and open with affection, Draco is very adorable about it too, and Hermione’s just such a lovely character in this one, she’s sweet but still her, and she restrains herself some which is always a nice break, Draco actually has to slowly work through his prejudices which is always fucking amazing, and well-appreciated, Ron also has his own to work through, but he’s always been a simple/single-minded person so that was quite easy to work past.

ALSO, THERE’S NO BASHING!!!!!!!!! Except for Ron for a little bit, but Hari takes care of that Real Quick

Harry is a manipulative little shit and it’s beautiful, this is what I mean when I say all manipulations aren’t bad, like, telling your kids they can get super powers if they eat all their veggies, it’s still manipulation but it’s towards a good end, and well-meant

Gif Aesthetic: Harry’s parents when Harry does anything

What Harry sees when he sees his friends (The freaking cuteness!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)

Everyone @ Harry, but especially Draco

The overall mood of this fic????

So cool and badass

#Satan has great taste in: Drarry #drarry fluff #Satan's Top Three #Longish fic #30k fanfic #sweet #fluff #lovely

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legisaskerator · 5 years

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vent vent vent

buckle up bastards this is gonna be long as FUCK

holy fucking shit my life yhas been so goddamn hard recently and i’m not handling it well

first and foremost on my mind at this second is the fact that i am in so much fucking pain right now i do not know what to do. my EDS is acting up really really badly and i’m super bedridden right now. i took my last vicodin and i have no idea when i can get more, or how, and i have like nothing to help. i had to leave class today to weep in the fuckin bathroom because i can barely walk and even sitting up is a struggle. if i felt this sort of pain three years ago i would have likely considered doing something VERY rash to stop it and i’m amazed i’m still, almost functioning. i can barely think i’m in agony i want it to end

i’m so scared this is just the next turn that eds is taking. i know i wont ever get better but fuck, i dont want to need a mobility aid yet. i’m only fucking 22 i have to be a teacher!!! how can i fucking teach if i cant write on a board?? or maneuver around classrooms? how will i ever get a job? or even just. live in the house of my dreams. i wish there was some help for me because i am tired of ehlers danlos running my life. i am scared for my future. i cant imagine who i will become if this level of pain becomes my “normal”. someone move me to mass so i can get legal weed to try to numb myself

on the same path of injury, my mother recently injured herself very badly and was hospitalized for a little w hile. ended up needing surgery to put rods and screws and plates in her leg/ankle, and as a result, she’s not functioning for the next 12 weeks. i’m doing my best to help out aroudn the house and i’m filling in for her at work. she does advertising for a newspaper and brings the papers to subscribing businesses,, which i’m taking over now. at least i like driving?

i love my mom and i will do anythign to help her, but god it’s such a load on my shoulders. i’m upset and frustrated because i’m strugtgling to balance my life around this sudden responsibility. it’s definitely not her i’m upset about, it’s not like she did this purposefully??? she needs the help and i am willing to give it. but i am also allowed to feel these emotions. i am upset at the /situation/. her boyf and my sister are barely helping and they’re neglectful and distant. i’m the only emotionally present one in the family and also (aside from mom) am the only nurturing, caring one in the household. i keep her from having panic attacks, i keep her anxiety down, i’m warm and i try so goddamn hard to make sure shes ok. but it’s exhausting. i’m keeping my family together it feels like, everythings crashing down and i’m the only “sane” one. which is sad because ive been a depressed wreck for weeks and have been working on scraping myself off the fucking pavement, trying to get out of the spiral. i’m scared that my mom relies so much on me. she tells me everything, things i don’t want to hear. relationship troubles primarily. i know i give great advice and am ~wise beyond my years~ (thanks trauma) but, that’s what her therapist is for. i’ve told her i wish she would, tell me less, because as her daughter it’s uncomfortable, and she always overreacts like “oh i’ll never tel you anything again if it’s so terrible then” and i end up feeling fucking awful, and it’s a nightmare. but if things keep going the way they are in their relationship (i’m not gonna spill deets because, privacy still) we might lose our house!!! and everything we’ve finally worked for!!

so i feel like, if i can’t fix this problem, it’ll be my fault our lives come crashing down.

i know that’s ridiculous. it’s not my job.

but it still feels like it

i never feel like i’m doing enough. just in life in general. i’m not good enough i’m not working hard enough i just am not enough. i was very saturated with child prodigy shit when i was younger and that fucked up my psyche so much. it’s still thrown at me by my father, americas got talent and movies where the protag is a ~genius~. i hate it. ill never be that and i know that’s what my dad wants of me. i’m not the next bill gates i just want to be a teacher and live my life!!!! i don’t want to start a band and get famous!!!! i dont want to run a business!! i don’t want to revolutionize the world!! just let me please! follow my heart!!!!!! i can’t fucking stand it when he tries to tell me what to do with my life it makes me want to scream and wail and sjafkl; fd fjasfg;akldf

i can’t do this, man.

i’m so alone. i’m sick of the slut life. i’ve been hoeing around for a year and it’s taking a massive toll on my self esteem and sanity. i’s a terrible coping mechanism and i’m very very not healthy about it. i only have sex when i’m heavily under the influence of something and use it as a way of getting attention, which is, awful. i often forgo protection because it’s ~inconvenient~ and the second a guy protests, i’ll cave because i ~live to please~ and don’t want to start shit. i can’t keep doing this. hooking up is the only time people ever touch me. i just want a fuckign hug sometimes

i keep seeing so many posts like “you can’t love another if you don’t love yoursel!” and “people aren’t your medicine” but what if??? they can be to an extent?? part of being uber depressed is self-isolation and i’m so, sick of it. i need some fucking comfort because right now i am suffering through my life alone and it’s so difficult. it’s not as easy as just, settling though. i’m picky with my lovers because?? i deserve someone good? everyone that’s been coming through my life like, has a fatal flaw that i just can’t do. like long term compatability is risked for me with that shit.like, too introverted, too emotionally distant, people who just aren’t smart, i can’t do it?? i just want someone who’s going to comfort me when i need it, who i can have a healthy debate with, and someone who respects my life choices and things i do.

i’ve been talking to one guy recently who, i was hoping maybe could have been a potential. he’s super nice and considerate/respectful, hes HELLA smart, adores a bunch of the same stuff i’m into, we talk really well together, i feel comfortabgle around him, gotta say he’s hot as fuck too...and he just wants friends with benefits. I respect that. i was in a similar spot literally last semester, there was a pretty great guy but i just wasn’t in the right space for a relationship. so friends with benefits. i don’t blame this new guy for not wanting a relationship he has every right!! but oh god it hurts a little. i worry that it’s me, that i’m just a good pussy for him, or a convenient lay who’s down to clown like 99% of the time. he’s been talking to me less recently and i’m worried that he’s...done with me. idk if that’s true or if i’m just reading into it but i’m in a VERY vulnerable place right now in my life, and i really need someone by my side for it. i need the support and warmth.

i wish my warmth would comfort me. i wish i could turn my nurturing attitude around and help myself. i wish i didn’t need smoene else for comfort. i’m a fuckin libra tho i live for romance

this guys’ great though. i hope he sticks around at least for a little bit longer. i want to learn more bout lovecraft.

my sluttiness is my biggest qualm with myself right now. it’s definitely a huge problem in my life, it’s actively causing me problems. my one friend (because, i have only one fucking friend i can actually talk to. that’s it i hAVE ONE i’m so goddamn l,onely) has been like, coaching me through making better decisions? i’m very impulsive and he’s got great advice and is quick to be like “then don’t” and shit. i’m trying really hard to make sure i dont use him as a therapist though, that’s unfair to him. i’m respectful and all that shit don’t worry bout htat. he’s a huge help to me and has been my absolute rock through college, idk where i’d be without him. he also introduced me to his friend group, who are all really amazing people? they welcomed me with open arms and no ones ever done that before. i’m always super outcasted cause i’m weird and i wont hide it because it’s ME goddamnit! but these people, they’re weird too, they’re freaks and outcasts and, while they’ve all been very close friends since they were wee tots, they still welcomed me in. they still wanted me to be part of them. i’m getting to know all of them still, but i’ve got hope that, maybe i’ve got some lifelong friends now. at the very least, i’m sure i’ve got one.

onto phase 4 of my fuckin monologue i guess, topic SHIFT

my thesis is a mess and it’s due in three weeks, i’ve barely gotten anything done because my teacher is awful and i’m worried i’m gonna fail the course

which would be SUPER bad because, i’ve had this teacher too many times and we do not get along, she loathes my existence, and i really just need to get out. shes partly the reason i need an extra fucking year at school and i always DREAD going to her class. it’s humiliating and discouraging to spend three hours every monday there. no one else likes this professor, they’re only here becuase the school loooooves the researchers and writers. complaints dont matter. all of my other classes are fine but this one has been probably the worst, most emotionally devastating class i’ve ever taken

i don’t even get to write about a topic i want. i was forced to write about the play i was in, instead of Monty Python like i wanted (it’s a fucking comedy class!!!!!) the play is about SCHOOL SHOOTINGS (we won some national awards teehee it’s an outstanding play). yes it’s a “black comedy” but not really? it’s a drama with comedic moments? and i KNOW THIS cause i’ve been studying comedy with this professor for like three cumulative years at this point. i’m struggling beacuse there’s zero research, zero information, and has to be over 20 pages long??? like fuck? i’m so fucked

anyway thanks for coming to my TED talk. i’ve been wanting to make a vent post for like weeks but i haven’t had the time or energy and , i really needed to just....get this out. i feel a little better having all the words down. there’s still so much else going wrong in my life that i could talk about, all the car troubles, my other classes, dorm shit, but, it doesn’t matter in the light of these issues. i can get through this. i just gotta keep fighting.

oh and if anyones like, worried, i’m not suicidal, i’m not going to do that, there’s no chance of that hpapening. i’m in a very bad place but i’m never gonig back there if i can fucking help it

#personal #vent #tw whatever idk sensitive materail or something #i just gotta breathe

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