this undeniably has to be one of the worst opinions I've seen about this season. like out of the plentiful failures season 4 had... you really couldn't choose one to talk about? max's mental health was one of the only things that I felt season 4 handled pretty damn well.

I do think it could have been better written, yes. the ending of her arc in season 4 was....insulting at best.

but overall? the show does a great job of addressing that max actually hated billy (she literally fucking admits to wishing for his death) and that her grief is more complicated than just missing a person. because she wasn't missing a person! she was ultimately glad billy was gone. but even in death, he torments her.

she watched a person she grew up with be brutally murdered by some fleshy abomination, RIGHT in front of her. her shitbag step father bailed on her and her mother after billy died, forcing them to move to the trailer park. her mother abuses alcohol and is never home because she's always working so they can afford to live in the trailer park. her friend group has been split in two by the byers moving away, which took el away from her too. she doesn't know how to reach out to lucas, deep down doesn't feel she deserves his love & concern, despite lucas' best efforts (vecna literally taunts her with lucas turning on her at the final confrontation). she wished so badly to have someone like steve in billy, but she knows that billy would never be that person. he was the complete opposite & she can't just have steve in his place. she mourns the brother she never had. she is devastated by the way billy still hurts her, even after he's gone.

she's what. fourteen??? when this all happens?

like the death of an abuser is never so simple as "hooray! I am so very joyous now that the source of my pain is gone!" the damage an abuser inflicts on you is not some cut to the skin that can be healed and one day forgotten. it's so much more tortuous than that. especially for a child.

In honor of the100th episode of Supernatural Misha has worked on (He’s worked on 100, only acted in 99 though) - I decided to share with you guys, 100 reasons that I love @mishacollins as a sort of tribute/celebration to him. He’s done so much to change my life and I just wanted to put my love for him out into the universe. I also made this into a twitter thread which can be found HERE.

1.) He gives me strength to get up and get through my day whether he knows it or not. 2.) He cares about his fans & constantly strives to show just how much. 3.) He cares about minorities that the struggles we face daily. 4.) He cares about the LGBTQ+ community & has gone to far length to prove just how much. 5.) He cares about mental health & the issues that affect those of us who suffer because of our MH issues. 6.) He cares about disadvantaged youths and wants to give them an equal playing field (Free high school, etc) 7.) He cares about disadvantaged groups in general & proves it daily through his work with Random Acts. 8.) He cares about lonely Senior citizens & tried to brighten an otherwise lonely day for them (Valentines Day). 9.) He funded Random Acts - a registered 501(c)(3) charity on his own because he's the change he wants to see. 10.) He constantly runs charity events throughout RA & gets his fans excited to donate & put good out into the world. 11.) He runs GISHWHES - the biggest scavenger hunt in the world and most of proceeds from that go to charity too. 12.) His scavenger hunt often encourages others to commit random acts of charity towards strangers. 13.) He cares about the state of our country and how the political turmoil affects the everyday citizen. 14.) He is extremely invested in politics and is not afraid to speak his voice on things that offend him. 15.) He fights for the people. Not just his people, or my people - but all people. 16.) When he makes mistakes, he owns up to them and apologizes even when he doesn't have to. 17.) He is active on social media and gives us (his fans) peeks into his daily life, which he knows we always want more of. 18.) He is a general friendly person who goes out of his way to be an angel to everyone he meets. 19.) The money from his Castiel photo ops at conventions goes to charity. 20.) Growing up, he experienced the struggle of poverty & goes out of his way to level the playing field for others in that situation. 21.) He's EXTREMELY humble about his accomplishments and doesn't brag about his good deeds. 22.) To date, he's still shocked and made to blush when fans express how he has changed their lives. 23.) He wears safety pins when he can, to let people know he is an ally and will protect people who need protection. 24.) He's a published poet and has a way with words that speaks to millions. 25.) He is EXTREMELY intelligent and uses his ideas and intelligence for nothing but GOOD. 26.) He is an amazingly talented actor & with that talent has become one of the most loved characters on Supernatural. 27.) He plays himself on Supernatural (an angel) 28.) He engages his fans, even going as far as answering questions other actors refuse to. 29.) He's selflessly shared extremely personal stories of his struggle at conventions in front of large crowds. 30.) He supports intersectional feminism. 31.) He supports nasty women and acknowledges the world needs us and has talked publicly about it 32.) Even though shippers are historically snubbed in the SPN fandom, he gives us a voice. 33.) He's gone as far as to physically "Ship" Destiel and that warms the cockles of my heart. 34.) He married his high school sweetheart. 35.) His relationship with his wife is absolutely beautiful and a goal for anyone with a significant other. 36.) The love he has for his wife is visible whenever he talks about her, he softens up and smiles. 37.) He supports his wife's business endeavors no matter what they may be & defends her accomplishments. 38.) He & Vicki renewed their vows dressed in drag at an Albertsons and that in itself is amazing. 39.) He takes the time to maintain his beautiful marriage & goes on spiritual retreats with his wife. 40.) His family in itself is pure and goals for anyone with a family. 41.) He's a busy man but still takes time to be a great father to his kids and it shows. 42.) He gives us access to his time with his kids sometimes and it never fails to put a smile on my face. 43.) He brings his kids to conventions sometimes and it's adorable - there's NOBODY who doesn't love it when he does that. 44.) There are tons of instances where he has been seen comforting distressed fans on his own free will. 45.) He encourages fans to say hi to him if we see him out and about. 46.) He takes fans out to do fun things during his meet n greets, something which no other actor does. 47.) He has publicly stated he appreciates fanworks whether it be art, fanfic, crafts etc. 48.) He built his own house, proving he loves to see the fruits of his effort. 49.) He built most of the furniture in his house further proving he's a hard worker. 50.) He interned at the White House during the Clinton administration 51.) He made the engagement ring he proposed to Vicki with. 52.) He invited fans to join him during his bike ride for E4K this year. 53.) He teaches his kids about healthy eating while teaching them HOW to cook. 54.) He ran over 50 miles for charity & anyone who's ever even ran 1 mile knows how brutal that must have been. 55.) In 2011, he was named TV’s “Best Non-Human” by TV Guide which proves he's actually an angel. 56.) His smile is singlehandedly the most beautifully infectious smile I have ever laid eyes upon. 57.) He looks good in literally anything. 58.) When I'm feeling crappy about life, I just look at pictures of him and I instantly feel better. 59.) His charity is in partnership with a crisis support group that has helped thousands of people like me during hard times. 60.) He's not afraid to be emotional publicly and has even publicly cried before over issues that matter to him. 61.) His hard work and dedication inspire me to want to reach MY own goals. 62.) Seeing everything he's accomplished makes me not want to give up. 63.) His sense of humor is brilliant and truly funny. 64.) He's not afraid to make himself the butt of a joke and that kind of humor is extremely attractive. 65.) His humility (that I touched on earlier) transcends into everything he does whether it be his job, family or charity. 66.) He directly helps his fans - ex of which can be helping w/homework, sending them autograph replacements etc. 67.) He has posted his phone number publicly with the sole purpose to have conversations with fans. 68.) He truly regrets working on a movie about sexual assault & openly discourages people from watching it so we don't get triggered. 69.) He steps out of his comfort zone sometimes to face issues in the fandom that no other actor wants to. 70.) He takes the time away from his family to come to conventions for his fans even when he's extremely tired. 71.) His smile lights up any room. 72.) He very clearly says "fuck you" to gender norms & constantly does things like paint his nails. 73.) He encourages people to vote, even if it's not for his candidate. 74.) He acknowledges the importance of white people being allies to minorities. 75.) He is extremely humble about his incredible good looks. 76.) He takes the winning gishwhes team on a vacation with him every year. 77.) He has been known to talk about very personal issues that resonate with fans during his meet n greets. 78.) He is nice to literally everyone (I'm serious, even to the people he dislikes: note, trump) 79.) This is kind of unrelated toa lot of the other reasons but he's THICC HAVE YOU SEEN HIS THIGHS? wow. 80.) He's an anchor for a lot of people who constantly struggle with depression (such as myself) and he guides us back to a good state of mind. 81.) He's interested in the environment and he proved that during E4K this yr by bringing a geologist to talk to us about the terrain. 82.) His interactive gishwhes competitions inspire people to think outside the box. 83.) He's simply beautiful like have you SEEN a picture of him? 84.) Everything he does is to better this world and community. 85.) He is the purest person I have ever come across in my life and I've come across quite a few people. 86.) His smiles are always genuine, you can tell by the way his eyes crinkle. 87.) He has struggled so much in his life and even then, came out successful. He is GOALS for all of us. 88.) He understands the reality behind a lot of these online "challenges" such as the ALS challenge & truly cares about the causes. 89.) He is extremely work oriented and has been known to stay on set way beyond what he was supposed to to film & perfect his scenes. 90.) His voice is pretty much the single most incredibly beautiful thing I have ever been graced with the opportunity to hear. 91.) He cares about orphans, refugees & homelessness. 92.) I truly believe that he loves each and every single one of his fans. 93.) He's an imaginative goofball & that shows through with the items he has for gishwhes every year. 94.) He was the best thing to ever happen to me. 95.) This man is the epitome is what one should strive to be when it comes to their attitude, life & personality 96.) Whenever there's a tragedy in a foreign country, he tries to tweet his support in their native language. 97.) He continually shows he cares about the fans that go through struggles and need support. 98.) When I first found out about his past, I promised myself I'd stop self injuring & make something out of my life. I am now clean of self injury and have been for a while. 99.) He unknowingly helped save me from one of the worst depressive periods of my 26 yr old life where everything seemed bleak & hopeless. 100.) His love for life saved MY life when I was hellbent on ending it last year and I will be eternally grateful to him for that.

So yeah, if you ever want to even begin to question my love for Misha Collins- don’t. I will love him fiercely until my dying breath.

Congrats on the milestone, Misha. We love you.