#still upset that we could have got one more episode of Sana alone.. like the 10th should have been 11th | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

onceuponaloonatic · 3 years

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Can you update the misahyo au?

of course !!

In the nearly twenty years of being with Sana, Jihyo had never come home to her crying. Sure Sana had cried plenty once she was home, and while she wasn’t at home, but never once had Jihyo come home to Sana sobbing. It seemed today was a day of firsts.

After dropping Nayeon off, Jihyo had taken her and Nico home, too far into her head about what Sana had told her to really listen to Nico and engage with her on the ride. Once they got home, Jihyo helped Nico out of her car seat and brought her inside. She helped her with her shoes and then told her she was going to check on Sana and Mina. As awful as it made Jihyo, she just needed to see Sana. She needed to see how her wife was and she needed to hold her. Even if it meant she left Nico by the entry to their house, standing awkwardly by the locked front door. (Jihyo had made sure to check that it was locked the minute she and Nico were inside. Jihyo finds Sana on the couch. She’s curled up in a ball, and a mess of tears. She meets Jihyo’s eyes and Jihyo can feel her heart shattering at the sight of her wife so absolutely destroyed. Sana looked so scared. Jihyo was with her immediately. After a quick check to make sure Sana was okay with a hug, Jihyo wrapped her up so tightly. She didn’t want to let go. She ended up holding Sana. She needed to be here for her. Of course she wished Mina was here too, but right now she could only focus on Sana.

“Mama?” The moment is broken when Jihyo sees Nico standing there staring at the two of them. She looks like she’s about to cry.

“N-Nico.” “What’s wrong with mommy?” Sana sobbed harder at the questions, cuddling closer to Jihyo. “It-it’s nothing baby. Why don’t you go play upstairs? Mommy is just a little sad about… Big kid stuff.” “Mommy okay?” Nico asked, the tears spilling over as she watched Sana fall apart. Jihyo’s heart somehow broke even more at the sight. “Just go upstairs please.” Jihyo knew she was being too harsh, but she couldn’t keep three people from completely falling apart. “Mommy… Mommy okay?” More tears spilled out from both Nico and Sana. Sana shook in Jihyo’s arms while Nico stood in front of her, both on the verge of getting much worse. “Nico- please just go upstairs.” Jihyo sighed.

“No!” Nico screamed, more tears coming out as she started sobbing. “Mommy okay?” “Nico…” Sana muttered from Jihyo's arms. Nico stayed for a few more seconds before running off, and Jihyo made sure to follow her long enough to know she went upstairs. Jihyo sighed as Sana shifted closer to her. She was still shaking in Jihyo’s arms. “Babe can you-go make sure she’s okay?” “I will in a bit but I need to make sure you're okay first.” Sana shifted closer to Jihyo, burying her face into her chest. Her breathing was starting to even out, and Jihyo couldn’t help but smile at the sight of Sana calming down a bit.

“I’m fine.” Sana insisted. “No love you're not, and that’s okay. It’s really scary. And you need to feel that fear and sadness. You are a mom, but you're also a person Sana. Burying your emotions even if it is for Nico isn’t going to be good in the long run. It’s going to hurt you and Nico.” Jihyo started drawing small shapes on Sana’s back, pressing kisses to her head as she thought about what to say. It was scary, for all of them. In Jihyo’s arms, Sana took a few shaky deep breaths, slowly regaining control of her mind. “You’ve been a mom for as long as I have, how are you better at it?” Sana muttered once she was calm. As she came down, she felt exhaustion creep in. “I’m not better at it.” Jihyo muttered between kisses to Sana’s hairline. “I just think we need to be our best for her. And sometimes to be our best we need to take some time for ourselves.” “Look at you, such a good mama. I married the right person.” Sana joked, settling against Jihyo and closing her eyes. “You and Mina.” “Mina….” Jihyo sighed. “I’m-” Jihyo and Sana were both surprised when the doorbell rang. Jihyo felt Sana immediately tense up again, all of the tension returning to her body and her face went from sleepy to scared in seconds. Jihyo took a deep breath, knowing it was probably not Sana’s parents. They had no way of knowing their address. Momo’s mother wouldn’t tell them and it’s not like they had talked to Sana since they got arrested. Even with that knowledge though, she still couldn’t help the tension building up inside her. Jihyo made Sana stay on the couch, and the minute she’s gone Sana is grabbing a throw pillow for comfort. Jihyo had to get on her tip toes to properly see through the peephole and Sana would have laughed at her if she was in a better mood. “It’s just Nayeon and Momo.” Jihyo announced to Sana, seeing her wife relax. She couldn’t blame her, Jihyo felt relief flood her as well as she opened the door. “Hey guys, now’s not a great time so-”

“I know. I’m here for Sana.” Momo looked like a woman on a mission as she interrupted Jihyo. “My mom told me what was going on and to check on her.”

“She’s in the living room.” Jihyo knew Momo could be protective, especially when it came to Sana. They had been friends for so long, and Momo was some of the only biological family Sana had left. She knew Momo was one of the best people for Sana right now. “And I’m here for Nico.” Nayeon announced. “Nico?” Jihyo asked. “I’m guessing you guys upset her.” Nayeon moved inside to take her shoes off and Jihyo closed the door behind her, immediately making sure to lock it. “I-how did you know?” Jihyo asked, genuinely surprised. “We have a special bond.” Jihyo looked at Nayeon accusingly. “Alright alright, Mina texted me she was really upset.” “Mina?” “Apparently she went to Mina after you told her to go upstairs. She told Mina what happened and Mina told me.” Nayeon explained. “I can take Nico if you want to talk to Mina… I know you're trying to give Mina her space, but I think it’s time you guys talk.” “Did Mina say anything to you?” Nayeon sighed and nodded no. “She doesn’t have to. This is one of the longest episodes she had in a while, and it’s affecting all of you. With this stuff with Sana’s parents going on, I think you guys need to sort out what’s going on with Mina like now. It’s hurting all three of you, and it’s hurting Nico. This is one of her first times being around Mina when she’s like this- I’m sure she’s confused and scared and it’s stressing her out. When you add Sana on top of it, god I can only imagine how scary it must be at her age.” Nayeon explained. “Maybe that’s why she was so upset earlier when Sana was crying…” Jihyo thought aloud. “I have a feeling that contributed. I think it’s also pretty disorienting to come home to your mom having a breakdown and your other mom basically telling you to go away. She’s three Hyo, she isn’t exactly capable of completely understanding things like anxiety and depression and breakdowns. You did the right thing sending her upstairs, but I also think you could have handled it a little better.” Nayeon sighed. “But that’s okay. You guys are learning. A big part of parenting is learning. You're going to make some mistakes along the way and Nico’s going to be mad at you or upset for a bit, but as long as you make it right it will all workout.” “Thanks Nayeon Unnie…” Jihyo sighed. Nayeon really was one of the best people in Jihyo’s life. As much as she complained about the older girl, she and Jeongyeon had always been Jihyo;s rocks. “It’s easy to have perspective on stuff like this when you are on the outside. But really as hard as it is, at the end of the day it’s up to you to make the decisions you think are right for Nico.” Nayeon put a comforting hand on Jihyo’s shoulder. “Now, I’ll be upstairs with Nico. You might want to give Momo a minute alone with Sana, you know and I both know Momo knows things about Sana neither of us will ever understand.” Nayeon explained.

“Yeah, you're right, I’ll go check in on Mina… I’m sure she’s rattled.” Jihyo sighed.

“Sure. And Hyo, make sure you don’t take on too much. You tend to do that sometimes.” Nayeon sighed, letting go of Jihyo’s shoulder. Jihyo followed her friend upstairs, Nayeon immediately went to Nico’s room. Her door was open, and in passing Jihyo could see her with her face buried into her giant stuffed bear Sana had insisted on getting for Nico’s third birthday. On a trip to Costco, Nico had seen the giant stuffed bears and absolutely fell in love. Convincing her to let go of the bear was one of the hardest things in the world to do. She had thrown a huge fit and Jihyo had to take her to the car. After a full blown meltdown, she had an asthma attack in the car. After that, Nico seemingly forgot about the bear. When her birthday was coming up, Sana had decided it would be a good gift for her, despite the fact they had already picked out quite a few gifts for their little princess. Nico had nearly died when she saw it on her birthday. She jumped up and down and almost had another asthma attack when she came downstairs and found it in the living room.

“Mina…” Jihyo found her wife in the bed. Mina looked like she was crying, her form shaking under the covers. “Love, it’s me again.” “I’m starting to think you might live here.” Jihyo could’t help but crack a smile at that. At least Mina could still crack a small joke. “Maybe I just really like the girls that live here.” Jihyo responded, moving closer to the bed. “Nayeon’s with her right now. Momo is with Sana.” Jihyo sat on the edge of the bed. She reached a hand towards Mina, but stopped herself midway. “Hey love… You don’t have to talk about it yet, but we- we can’t keep this up. Nico can’t- I can’t- I don’t want to rush you my love but we can’t do this forever. Maybe just, can we talk about making things a little better?” Mina was quiet at that, snuggling closer to the covers. Jihyo hates seeing the tears on her love’s face. “I- Nico told me something was wrong with Sana.” Mina’s voice was hoarse. Jihyo made a mental note to grab her some water later. “Yeah… But it’s- we should talk about you first.” Jihyo sighed. “Please my love… It hurts all of us to see you this way.” “I-I’m sorry.” Mina started sobbing some more. Jihyo hated it. She hated knowing Mina was in so much pain. “No no baby it’s okay. It’s okay to be sad. It’s okay to feel like this. We just- we love you. And we want to help you feel a little better.” Jihyo muttered, tangling her fingers in Mina’s hair. “You don’t have to be perfect Mina. None of us expect that from you. Me, Sana, Nico, none of us expected you to be perfect. You know that, right?” Mina’s silence was the answer to Jihyo’s question. “Love, none of us expect you to be perfect. You’re already doing so good. We are all so proud of you.” “Nico too?” “Of course. Nico thinks the world of you, but she knows no one is absolutely perfect.” Jihyo muttered. “She loves all of us so much. She loves you so much.” “What about today?” Jihyo gently moved all the hair stuck to Mina’s face away. “You and I both made mistakes today baby. But it’s okay. She’s fine- I should have texted you and warned you she was in a fragile mood. The last few days… Haven’t been ideal for all of us, her included. Nayeon is with her right now. She told me everyone is going to make mistakes and part of parenting is learning. None of us really know what we’re doing… Do we?” “No.” Mina couldn’t help but giggle. Her crying had stopped, and Jihyo was more than relieved to see the small crack in Mina’s face “Exactly. We can make things better, but we both need to put in a little effort, okay?” Jihyo swiped her thumb across Mina’s cheek. “Mm-kay.” “Okay?” “Mm-hum.” Jihyo continued swapping her thumbs across Mina’s cheeks. “I want to see Nico.” “You don’t have to love.” “I want to.” Mina sat up, reaching for one of Jihyo’s hands. Jihyo immediately held it. “Okay.” Jihyo smiled. “Let’s go.” Mina held tightly to Jihyo’s hand as they made the short journey to Nico’s room. Her door was closed, so Jihyo knocked on it. At Nayeon’s “come in” Jihyo slowly opened the door, keeping eye contact with Mina to make sure she was okay. At Mina’s insistence, Jihyo opened the door. “Hello.” Nayeon greeted them. Nico was in Nayeon’s lap, her face buried in Nayeon’s stomach. “Hey Nico, we have some visitors.” She seemed calmer, sleepily cuddling with Nayeon. “Hey sweetheart.” Jihyo led Mina to sit next to Nayeon and their daughter. “I’m sorry about earlier. I know you were worried about Mommy. And that was sweet, but um the thing with mommy, it was adult stuff. I know you want to help and that’s really sweet of you.” “And I’m sorry too baby, I- haven’t been feeling well lately and I shouldn’t have gotten mad. Can you forgive Ka-san?” “Katsu?” Nico looked up from Nayeon, tears still lingering on her cheeks. “You want Katsu?” Mina couldn’t help but giggle. “Uh-hum.” “Alright, you can have all the katsu curry you want.” Nico brightened a little, reaching a hand out from Mina. The two held hands and Mina brought Nico’s hand up to kiss it. “I love you.” “I love you too ka-san.”

#twice #misahyo #myoui mina #minatozaki sana #park jihyo #im nayeon #hirai momo #namo #misahyo au

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iffeelscouldkill · 4 years

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it only means there is no room for you to fall [Epilogue]

A/N: This is a follow-up to it only means there is no room for you to fall, my alternate post-episode-5/episode 6 Sana/Arkady/Violet fic that I wrote uh... last September, wow. It won’t make much sense if you haven’t read that, so go read that fic first!

Those of you who follow me on AO3, or who followed the fic on AO3, will know that I already wrote and posted an epilogue to this fic about a week and a half after it was written. But I never posted it to Tumblr. I liked it, but I also wasn’t that happy with it - there was too much “plot”, and not enough of the fluff and indulgence that I’d so enjoyed when writing the first fic. And I liked how the first fic ended, so I sort of wanted that to be a stand-alone on Tumblr, until I was happier with the epilogue.

I never intended to rewrite it - I was originally planning to write a follow-up fic or two in the same ‘verse, and figured that once those were written, I would post the epilogue to Tumblr first so that it made sense. However, I lost a bit of steam with the next fic in the series, so that didn’t quite happen.

Fast-forward to now, and... well, I’m sure I don’t need to spell out why I needed a dose of fluffiness and self-indulgence in my fic-writing life. So, I decided a couple of days ago to have another go with writing this epilogue, and see if I couldn’t write a version that I was happier with. Turns out I could! Here it is :D

---

The first thing that Sana is aware of when she wakes is that she’s very, very warm.

The second is that someone is playing with her hair, carding their fingers through the strands that have escaped from the loose plait she wears it in. It feels nice. Sana closes her eyes again.

A vague memory filters through the sleepy haze in her brain. Arkady and Violet hugging her. Arkady leading her into her room, pulling her down onto her bunk, wrapping her arms around her. Violet at her back. She realises that she can hear voices talking softly.

“...might wake up and decide that she can handle it without our help.” Violet’s voice. “She is the Captain, after all.”

A snort from Arkady on her other side. “You underestimate my willingness to flat-out pin her to this bunk until she admits that she can’t handle everything by herself.”

Sana cracks one eye open. “I’d like to see you try.”

She feels Violet jump behind her, but Arkady just smirks, unrepentant. She looks slightly softer-edged in the morning (well, Sana realises that she doesn’t really know for sure that it’s morning, it’s hard to tell on the ship), her normally carefully tamed hair in unruly tangles around her face. It’s a look Sana has only rarely had the privilege of seeing.

“How did you sleep?” asks Violet, and Sana turns to smile at her.

“Like a log. I hope I didn’t snore.”

Violet laughs. “I don’t think so. I would know if you did - I’m a pretty light sleeper. It comes from being a medic,” she adds by way of explanation.

Sana is about to say something else - ask what the time is, maybe - when a key part of the previous night suddenly comes back to her: Ricky Q’s smug voice on the other end of the line. His threats against her crew, and the rendezvous on Hafizah. Sana groans as her head starts to throb slightly.

“Sana?” Violet looks worried, reaching forward to brush strands of hair gently from her face. Sana realises that Violet had been the one playing with her hair when she woke up, and she takes a moment to delight in this tiny gesture of affection from the other woman, who had always seemed quite reserved in her interactions until now. They would brush past each other, sometimes, in the narrow kitchen, and Sana was often guilty of wanting to read too much into the touch of fingers as moonshine cups were passed around, or Violet’s gentle ministrations as she checked an injury. She’d always told herself she was wishing for the impossible. She’s now starting to realise that might not have been true.

“What is it, Sana?” Arkady asks her, tense, like she’s readying herself for a fight. Sana weighs her options. She knows that telling Arkady about Ricky Q and his blackmail will only make her angry, and she doesn’t want to puncture the little cocoon of warmth and calm that they’ve created for themselves. But she also knows that putting her best friend off won’t be well-received. Arkady will probably make good on her promise to pin Sana to the bunk until she opens up about what’s going on (Sana carefully doesn’t think about all the ways that image appeals to her).

Even as she hesitates, Arkady says, “Look, you know all that touchy-feely crap you pull the moment one of us freaking blinks wrong? You know that goes both ways, right? You can’t just... It isn’t right for you to always have our backs, and not let us have yours, too.”

There’s frustration in Arkady’s voice, but there’s an underlying hurt, too, and a hesitancy. Arkady isn’t used to voicing her innermost feelings, Sana knows, and she’s always quick to retreat defensively afterwards, like she’s afraid of being mocked for it. But Sana thinks that Arkady is more afraid that Sana might not trust her with this. That she doesn’t see their friendship (more than friendship? a part of Sana’s mind wonders) as a partnership of equals. Sana lets out a soft breath, fighting down the urge to pull Arkady to her in a crushing hug, which might not be well-received.

“Before I tell you both what’s been going on,” she begins, “Kady, I need you to promise me that you won’t... fly off the handle.”

Arkady eyes her suspiciously. “That depends on what it is you’re about to tell us, because I already really don’t like the sound of this.”

Sana sighs. “Just, promise to hear me out first? I need you to do that for me.” She levels Arkady with her best Captain’s stare, a mixture of sternness and warmth. It works on the whole crew, but particularly Arkady, who will often back down only when Sana levels it at her.

Sure enough, Arkady grumbles but subsides, her cheeks going pink. “All right. Whatever it is, I’ll wait until after you’re done telling it before I blow a gasket.”

Smiling slightly, Sana looks at Violet, whose expression is intent and serious, before she begins.

“Last night, not long after I got done fixing the temperature reg, I had a call from Campbell...”

She outlines the tense exchange with Campbell, his assurances about Red Gregor, and then her accusation, the argument and Campbell’s parting words. True to her word, Arkady doesn’t interrupt, though she frowns indignantly on Sana’s behalf a couple of times. As expected, however, when Sana gets to the second caller and reveals his identity, she explodes.

“What?! What do you mean, Ricky Q? How did that rat bastard even get your number?”

Sana gives her an amused look, but it’s tired. “I told you you’d be angry.”

“Did he hack us? No, he can’t have done,” Arkady says. “Goddamn it, I should have known he’d crawl back up out of the gutter somewhere-”

“Arkady,” Violet says quietly but firmly. She reaches across Sana and takes Arkady’s hand. “Remember what you promised. Let Sana tell it.”

Sana bites back a smile as Arkady goes pink, looking down at their entwined hands as if she can’t quite parse what she’s seeing. “I- fine, whatever,” Arkady stutters.

Violet looks serenely back at Sana. “Carry on, Captain.”

Sana presses her lips together with amusement, and files away the way that Violet says ‘Captain’ to turn over in her brain later, because right now she can’t give it the attention it deserves.

“He talked to the Fowleys, that’s how,” Sana says in reply to Arkady’s question. Arkady’s expression darkens, and darkens further as Sana recaps the conversation and Ricky’s threats.

“That bastard,” she hisses, and this time neither Sana nor Violet stops her.

Violet looks upset. “He said that someone on this ship has been informing to a middleman... but we haven’t had contact with anyone...”

“He’s lying,” Arkady says instantly. “He’s making it up to bait you. Sana, you can’t meet him, you don’t know what he’s gonna do.”

“He knew about Violet,” Sana points out, her voice quiet. “He knew things he never could have found out unless he had some kind of… source. I don’t know what it is,” she goes on, before Arkady can say anything else. “And I don’t believe it’s any of you. But I have to know how he got the intel.”

There’s silence for a few moments as they all contemplate the situation. Sana hates that they’re in this bind, that they have to bow to the whims of someone like Ricky Q because they can’t risk the alternative. And she resents the loss of what could have been a quiet, peaceful morning with her two favourite people if not for this whole mess. (Oh, who is she kidding - the Rumor has never even met “quiet” and “peaceful”).

“I don’t think you should go in without backup,” Violet says quietly. Sana looks at her in surprise, and Arkady does a double-take.

“Hey, that's my line!” she exclaims, mock indignant, but she’s looking at Violet with warm admiration. A tingling sensation spreads through Sana’s gut, and she takes a moment to appreciate the way these shared looks between Violet and Arkady no longer make her feel a stab of jealousy and loneliness; instead, she feels overwhelming affection for both of them.

Still, she shakes her head. “I said I would meet Ricky alone, and I will. I can handle him.”

“Yeah, but you don’t have to,” Arkady points out, practically vibrating with frustration. “You can’t seriously believe he’s going to play fair with his one. You don’t know what shit he’s planning to pull. He could be waiting at the rendezvous with an army of IGR agents!”

Sana shakes her head again. “No. However much of a scumbag Ricky Q might be, he has more to fear from the IGR than we do. He won’t have tipped them off. Listen,” she goes on quickly, “I’m going into this to get information out of Ricky, so I need him to have his guard down. He won’t, if you’re there. And no offence, but I don’t think you could restrain yourself from stabbing him in the gut if you saw him again.”

Arkady shrugs. “Not really sure I see the downside there.” Violet gives a little snort of amusement. Sana smirks slightly, but then becomes serious again.

“I know you’re worried,” Sana says gently. “But I’m still the Captain, and if Ricky is making threats against all of you, I can’t let that lie. It’s my job to make sure you’re all safe. And to make life a living, breathing hell for whoever dares to cross us.”

Arkady smirks and stretches languidly. “I love it when you talk scary,” she jokes, though there’s a spark of heat in her eyes that makes Sana think she’s not entirely joking.

Sana smiles and reaches for Arkady’s hand, lying on the bunk next to her, and twines their fingers together. She does the same with Violet’s hand on her other side. For all that the situation with Ricky Q is a mess, and it could go sideways on them in the worst way possible, she feels calmer than she has done in a while. And her headache has miraculously faded.

“So...” she says. “Is this the part where we talk about... this?”

She feels Arkady go tense, as she’s prone to doing whenever feelings enter the conversation, but to her credit, she doesn’t pull away. Violet is nodding.

“I think... maybe we should? Arkady and I... well, we kind of talked about how we wanted to uh...” Violet blushes bright pink, but forges on, “take care of you, because you always do it for us, and both of us... care a lot about you, and we wanted to show it. That’s why we came to your room, last night. Well, this morning, I guess. I’m not even sure what time it is.”

“I was wondering that, too,” Sana admits. “And speaking of which, I haven’t even thanked you both for-”

Arkady groans and buries her face in the bunk’s one pillow, which she has somehow managed to steal. “Oh my god, can we please skip the speech? You really don’t need to thank us for that. At all.”

Sana knows from years of experience that Arkady’s protesting is her way of saying ‘you’re welcome’, so she isn’t affronted. She shoves Arkady lightly on the shoulder. “It wasn’t going to be a speech. I just wanted to say thank you. That’s all.”

Arkady makes an inarticulate noise of disbelief, and Violet grins.

“And, so that we’re all on the same page about this...” Sana begins, feeling like the ball is in her court now. She’s suddenly unaccountably nervous. They spent the night in the same bed, and Violet has just said that she and Arkady “care a lot” about Sana and wanted to show it, which is pretty hard to misinterpret. But Sana also hasn’t felt about anyone the way she feels about Arkady and Violet. And living as they do in such close quarters, she can’t afford to get this wrong.

“Sana?” Arkady prompts her, and the note of nervousness in her voice is enough to spur Sana on.

“I care a lot about both of you too, and have done for some time,” she says, feeling her face warm with a blush. “As more than just friends,” she adds, to be absolutely clear. “I don’t really know how… dating… will work on the ship, especially not with everything else that’s happening right now - but if you’re willing to give it a try, then so am I.”

Violet nods vigorously. “Yes. I would really like that,” she says, with a heart-melting soft smile. “And, well, Brian and Krejjh seem to manage somehow, so we can probably make it work, too.”

She says it with a grin in her voice, and Sana knows she’s saying it at least partly for the inevitable reaction it will provoke from Arkady when she emphatically declares that their relationship is in no way going to be like Jeeter and Krejjh. There’s a pause as both she and Violet wait for that reaction, but weirdly, it doesn’t come. Sana looks round at Arkady, who is red-faced and fidgeting with the pillow cover.

“So, uh, Krejjh might... know about the three of us already. At least, they know that I have feelings for both of you.”

“Really? How?” Sana asks, and from the surprise on Violet’s face, she can tell this is news to her, too.

“They sorta... gave me a pep talk. Last night. Just before I ran into you in the kitchen,” Arkady adds to Violet.

Violet’s eyes widen. “I wondered what that announcement over the comms was about.”

Sana senses she might have missed quite a bit while she was dealing with the double crisis of Campbell and Ricky Q. She makes a mental note to ask for the full story later. “So, let me get this straight,” she says slowly, because she is absolutely not passing up the opportunity to rib Arkady about this. A lot.

“You took romantic advice from Krejjh? The same Krejjh who kept inviting us to dinner with Brian when he was trying to ask them out? That Krejjh?”

“Well, it worked, didn’t it?” Arkady shoots back, still red in the face. “Anyway, it wasn’t really advice, it was more like... encouragement. They suggested that you guys might be open to the possibility of a relationship involving... all three of us. And something about Dwarnian relationship norms. Apparently polyamorous relationships are pretty normal for them.”

“Huh,” says Violet, contemplatively. “So I guess it’s Krejjh we should be thanking, then.”

Sana smirks at Arkady. “You realise that Krejjh is going to be insufferable about this as soon as they realise we’re together.”

Arkady groans again and faceplants back into the pillow. “Don’t remind me.”

(Sure enough, when the three of them enter the kitchen in search of breakfast - well, lunch technically - about half an hour later, Krejjh’s squeal nearly ruptures their eardrums. “Crewman Jeeter, come look! They’re holding hands!”

“We can hear you,” Arkady complains, half-heartedly.)

#TSCOSI #The Strange Case of Starship iris #fic #ficlet #Sana/Arkady/Violet #Sana Tripathi #Arkady Patel #Violet Liu #it only means there is no room for you to fall #I'm much happier with this version of the epilogue #though I liked some little moments in the previous version like the greenhouse conversation between Sana and Arkady #I had intended to save the fluff and relationship conversation for the follow-up(s)#but I much prefer doing it this way around #obviously Violet still needs to be put in the picture about who Ricky Q is #but she's gleaned that he's not a great guy #if I get inspired to write another ficlet in this verse it will be an alternate Episode 7 with kisses! and cuteness #Tripateliu #new ship name unlocked!#thank you ghostsquidandspacebees :D

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evakuality · 5 years

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Welcome to episode two’s version of my lengthy comparison of these two characters. At this point, despite their stories being fairly similar, the boys are starting to diverge a lot in terms of who they are and how they react to the situations they find themselves in. The first episode can be found over here if you’re interested.

Isak’s second episode opens with him spending quiet time in his bedroom with Eskild. It’s really sweet, actually. Eskild likes people and being with people and he obviously feels like Isak needs someone with him, but he’s also content to be quiet and doing his own thing while letting Isak do his. By contrast, Hans comes into Matteo’s world. He’s also very happy by himself and Hans hasn’t felt the need to be there with him in the same way Eskild has. This is one of the least stressed/down/unhappy moments we see Matteo in during these earlier episodes. He’s playing a game and using his phone. He seems quite content. The difference is interesting here, too. Isak is just sharing space with Eskild so being asked about the attractiveness of guys is a natural progression of the situation, whereas Hans actively comes to Matteo to ask his opinion. It’s a more deliberate action, and I do wonder how much Hans suspects at this point, given that we don’t have the ‘he met me at a gay bar’ story in the same way we did with Eskild. It just seems like more of an open secret with Matteo than it does with Isak, and as we see later in the season, Matteo isn’t quite as adamant about it as Isak is.

The conversations they have are also quite different, though we get the same content. Eskild and Isak have a discussion about Eskild thinking ‘every guy’ is gay and that leads them into the discussion of how you can tell if someone is gay and leads to Isak’s realisation that Even joked about dicks and so he could be gay. Matteo, on the other hand, is much more deliberate in searching out the information he wants (finding out if David could be gay). He looks at his picture of David and he wonders out loud how you can tell if someone is gay. They both want to know the same thing, but Isak is reactive and Matteo is proactive in uncovering that information. Eskild is far more serious in his answer to how gaydar works than Hans, who makes a joke about noses. At this point, I feel like Isak has a better and more clear answer to his question regarding Even than Matteo does about David, even if his actual search for information on Even was unfruitful. Matteo, at the end of this conversation, has no better idea than he did at the start.

The next section is quite different for each of them, which is really fascinating. By this point, Matteo already has his David picture and is already starting to spend a lot of time obsessing over it, whereas Isak discovers the video of Even now. He’s charmed, of course, as Even is quite charming in this video, and we get to see him as he is increasingly fond while watching it. Matteo, by contrast, is with his friends and yet he’s still on the outer with them. They all got into dress up week while he either forgot or didn’t bother. But instead of mooning over a recorded version of David, Matteo gets actual interactions with him. It’s deeply awkward (so awkward!) but they’re both obviously happy to see each other despite that. So by the time they see Sana and Amira respectively, Matteo has another meeting under his belt and one that David initiated while Isak has just been caught watching an old video of some of Sana’s friends (though he doesn’t know that yet of course). It’s here that we really start to see some of the ways in which the two boys are so different. Isak is still in the romance of it all, the crush, and it’s still fantasy in a lot of ways. Matteo is having more real life connections and so is learning that David is at least interested in a friendly way. This is probably because by now Isak has a more firm knowledge of Even’s potential gayness (because, as per Eskild’s thoughts, he talked to a stranger about sucking dicks), whereas Matteo never got that from Hans. He has to glean it from David himself during these interactions. This means, of course, that at the end of the episode on the tram/bus Isak is taken by surprise as Even starts a conversation, while Matteo goes to David himself. Because Isak is definitely still in the ‘this is a fantasy about the hot new guy’ stage and Matteo is in the ‘this is a person I know and talk to and am interested in’ stage.

It’s even more obvious that Isak is still in a fantasy when we see the way he reacts to Even crossing the courtyard and completely tunes out everyone he’s with, to the point that they all go out of focus and their voices disappear in favour of a musical track. It’s not like Matteo is completely immune to this either, of course. He has his own little ‘wow David’s so attractive, imagine what he’d look like if he twirled to a nonexistent musical track’ moment. But when he does it, he’s already tuned out of the moment with his friends, exasperated with their discussion (which is yet again about sex). Isak is much more obvious in the way he tunes out that it’s a wonder the guys don’t pick up on it, particularly since he then tries to slide his way out of having to hang out with Emma. Isak’s fantasy extends to watching Even’s video over and over again (well I assume; he certainly watches it at least once more), and in watching a Baz Luhrmann movie to get closer to Even somehow. At this point, he’s still not made a genuine connection as yet and is still living in his constructed world where Even is an unattainable godlike figure. Whereas Matteo, as said before, is meeting up with David and seeing him around a lot more. And they are painfully awkward in a very real way. Matteo desires David, absolutely, but he’s not the god figure that Isak sees in Even. Consequently, Matteo doesn’t watch David’s favourite movie until after he’s told by David what it is because he has more real life things to hang his crush on rather than an online fantasy.

It’s a different route they take, one that’s more natural in some ways but much less ‘romantic’ fantasy-esque. It makes Isak’s meeting with Even on the tram much more poignant. He’s so deep in his fantasy crush by now that this is like a dream come true, a meeting with his crush! It’s big and powerful and sweeps him away. Matteo’s meeting with David is much more low key. They meet on the bus and stare awkwardly at each other because this is what they are now used to. Both boys, however, learn to relax as they spend more time with their crushes. Both open up and start to get to know the other boy. The scene in the apartment is very similar for both. They are both able to share and be open and they both find out things about their future partners. They both admire the art made by the other person, though Matteo gets a more intimate look because David (by virtue of this being Matteo’s house and not his own) has to show him his sketchbook rather than the things already hanging in public as Isak gets for Even. This scene is crucial for both pairs, imo, and while the ways they talk and interact are different in some ways, the scene serves for both Isak and Matteo to see their crush as a more real and rounded person. The disgusting food just highlights that and by the end they are both very comfortable with this person now. The mystique (for Isak) and the awkwardness (for Matteo) is mostly gone by the time they eat the sandwiches.

Of course, it ends differently for each of them. Isak is confronted with the very real, very present and very physically intimate girlfriend that Even never mentioned. Matteo gets ghosted. And this serves to highlight some of their differences too. Both Even and David appear to be ‘hot and cold’ but Matteo is running on assumptions whereas Isak has cold, hard facts right there in front of him. He even has the words ‘my girlfriend’ to hammer it all home. They’ve both lied to people about where they are and what they’re doing, but Isak has a harder wall put up by Even than Matteo does by David. Matteo is confused, but he’s not unwilling to approach David again as we see next episode. Isak pulls back because this is a big thing for him. So while Matteo looks more proactive than Isak, it’s mostly because he doesn’t have the same roadblocks in his way. They’re both left isolated and confused at the end of the episode, but Matteo is in a better situation.

Speaking of that lie he told Sara, Matteo, interestingly enough, makes a conscious choice to ask Sara to his place in the first place and so she has more right to feel aggrieved that he stood her up. And that’s partly because she’s his girlfriend and not a girl who’s trying just a little too hard to get with him. But it also says a lot about the boys. Isak is spoken over and the boys set up the meeting with Emma for him, presumably so they can find themselves other girls. Matteo’s boys agree to go to a get together for the Abistreich committee, and Matteo has made his own decision to be entirely alone with Sara by then. He again separates himself from them and what they’re doing much more obviously than Isak does. He doesn’t seem as connected to his friends as Isak is as yet, and that makes sense of the fact that he pushes for and gets the more connected relationship with David much earlier than Isak does with Even. He needs it more at this point. There’s a lot of focus on sex for Matteo this episode, actually. Sara tries to make it work when she’s upset, and his excuse is dreadful (‘have to clean’? seriously???), and then they make this meeting time for Friday. Coupled with the boys’ focus on wanting it, sex looms large in his life despite clearly making him uncomfortable. Isak seems much more at ease with these sorts of discussions even when he thinks of them as irrelevant to him. The Carlos/Kiki sex talk takes a much different tone than the Magnus/Vilde one, but even so, Isak seems more willing to be present and attentive in those conversations. Matteo literally doesn’t care, even when it turns to discussion of his own sex life. It’s this set of conversations that he tunes out from to watch David spinning in his imagination.

The differences in how they feel about their girls, and thus in how they treat them are huge as well. I don’t blame Isak here at all; he’s effectively bullied into spending time with Emma when he really doesn’t want to. But he’s quite dismissive and the way he talks about her is quite rude. Matteo, on the other hand, spends time alone with Sara and while he’s not interested in sex, he does want her to be happy and he does care for her. It’s a deeper, more enduring relationship so this makes sense. But it does show up how caring Matteo is, even at this point, compared to how distant Isak is holding himself. Again, it’s the performative vs the truly felt. Isak is still performing for his friends and he’s finding it hard to be true to himself, so his caring side that Eskild mentions later in the season isn’t displayed as much as yet. Matteo is being true to himself, in that he’s trying to be a good caring person, but it’s getting him into awkward situations with Sara where she wants the relationship to get to a point he doesn’t. He cares about her enough to try to make this work (at least he does after he sees David with Leonie and assumes they’re together), and so he looks up how to sleep with a woman if you’re not into her much earlier than Isak does. The reasoning is the same: I’ve seen my crush with someone else and I think he’s with her, though in Matteo’s case that’s a really over-zealous assumption from one hug.

So. That’s episode two. It’s an interesting one to look at because while the boys do share similarities at this point, they are diverging more and more. Isak is more present in his own life and with his friends, so he’s far more conscious in protecting his identity to keep that friendship intact. Matteo is largely absent from his life and from a connection with his friends, so he’s more willing to make a real connection with David sooner. He’s stuck in a situation with Sara which he’s not sure how to navigate effectively, but he cares about her enough that he can’t be as cavalier with her as Isak is with Emma who he wants to shake off at this point. Because Isak is more connected to his boys, it’s harder for him to push back against their expectations around him and Emma too. There’s a fear around losing them that Matteo doesn't have in the same way because he’s already consciously isolating himself from them anyway.

Episode three can be found here

#druck #skam #my meta stuff #my isak and matteo comparison stuff

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skam-stories · 5 years

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if you are taking prompts can you write an incantava imagine like skam og 2x03 where eleonora has to stay in edoardo's place (but maybe edo has a dog!! and the dog sleeps with them!!)

This is such an old request but guess what, I’m delivering. Better late than never, and it’s relevant to this week’s episode.

Enjoy!

Eleonora didn’t know why she kept rifling through the pockets of her jeans, she wasn’t going to find anything new.

She sighed, leaning her head back against the wall behind her. This was just great. Absolutely fantastic.

She’d followed everyone out of Edoardo’s house, then had the terrible realisation that she didn’t have her bag. When Eva had texted her that Silvia was upset after talking to Edoardo, Eleonora had been in such a panic that she’d completely forgotten to bring it. The real kicker, though, was that she kept her keys in her bag. She was at least thankful she’d remembered to bring her phone and wallet.

Eleonora sighed again, bringing one hand up to her face and pressing her fingers against her forehead. How could she have been so stupid?

She shouldn’t have come to this stupid party. By the time she arrived, Silvia was making out with Luchino in a corner. At least Eleonora had got to see the look on Eva, Fede and Sana’s faces in response to that.

The only true positive to this situation was that she’d spent the last hour of the party sitting on Edoardo’s couch patting his dog. She would at least publicly give Edoardo that; he had a cute dog. In hindsight she didn’t know why she expected Edoardo to own some kind of small, yappy dog. Arturo was a scruffy sheepdog looking thing, and Eleonora thought he was perfect.

She’d had a dog before she moved to Rome, but he’d gone to live with her mother. Eleonora shut her eyes for a second, trying to push thoughts of her mother from her mind. Now wasn’t the time, she had enough to process. She needed to deal with one problem at a time.

Her mother seemed to be able to handle a dog’s needs reasonably well. Weird.

Whatever. Not now.

She pulled her phone out of her thoroughly dug-through pocket, texting Filo to double check that he was out for the night. Ah, to be young and free and not deeply entangled in a Gossip Girl-style drama. Is that an out-of-date reference?

Next she brought up Eva’s contact, figuring she could ask to spend the night at her house if she needed to. There was no answer, though, and Eleonora tried to think of who she should call next. Who of the other girls was most likely to let her spend the night?

She was so wrapped up in her worries that she didn’t notice Edoardo’s front door open next to her.

“Ele?”

She turned so fast, pushing herself off the wall, that she felt a pain in her neck. Bringing one hand up to rub the painful spot, she managed to give Edoardo a grimace-like smile.

“Hi.”

“What are you doing?”

Eleonora shrugged. “I forgot my keys, so I’m just trying to figure out whose house I can stay at for the night.”

Edoardo looked at her for a second, seemingly torn, and Eleonora tried not to squirm under his gaze. “Well, come inside while you figure it out then” he finally said.

Eleonora had thought about this. When she’d realised she didn’t have her keys, she’d considering knocking on Edoardo’s door and asking to stay until she sorted it out. But that would mean spending time with him. Alone. She knew that wasn’t the greatest idea. She’d managed to keep her feelings in check so far, but after their date- and the realisation afterwards that maybe she’d been a little harsh towards him- she didn’t know if she could act normally around him. Her version of normal, that is; she didn’t know if she could act like she despised him anymore. But she couldn’t exactly say no to him now.

Awesome. Here goes nothing.

She gave him a small nod, walking past him and back inside when he stepped aside for her.

“Isn’t anybody at home?”

Ele turned back towards him, standing awkwardly in the middle of the room. “My older brother’s out for the night,” she said with a shrug.

A jingling sound behind her made her turn around, and she grinned at the sight of Arturo bounding up to her. She knelt down, reaching for him. He flopped down next to her, rolling over onto his back with his tongue dangling out of his mouth. What did we do to deserve dogs?

Edoardo laughed behind her. “You know, normally he doesn’t let someone hog his attention quite so much at parties.”

Eleonora shrugged, hiding her smile from him. “Can’t help it if I’m irresistible.”

Edoardo laughed again. “That you are.”

She felt heat flood every inch of her body, pressing her lips together and taking a deep breath. She shouldn’t have said that.

“Do you want a drink or something?”

She looked over her shoulder at him. “No, I’m alright thank you. Do you need help cleaning up?”

He shook his head. “You’re not cleaning up, Ele.”

Eleonora just shrugged. She was more than happy to sit with Arturo while Edoardo cleaned up. She watched as he walked over to a table on the other side of the room and started clearing it of empty cups.

“So is your dad coming home anytime soon?” Eleonora was glad she’d caught herself before she asked when his parents would be home.

Edoardo stopped what he was doing, staring at her for a second. She knew he was taking in her words and realising what they meant. Before she lost her nerve, she started speaking again.

“I’m sorry for what I said to you when you were talking about your mother.”

There was silence between them for a long moment. Eleonora could feel the tension in the room pressing down on her chest.

“It’s okay, Ele.”

Eleonora didn’t know what to say. Part of her wanted to say that he could tell her about his mother whenever he wanted, but she knew she shouldn’t. They couldn’t be friends, they couldn’t reminisce about their childhoods or discuss their current family issues.

“My dad’s never really home. He travels for work a lot.” Edoardo paused. “What about your parents?“

Eleonora was speaking before she could stop herself. “My mum stays in Padua with her boyfriend most of the time. She doesn’t come home much.”

She paused for a second before figuring she may as well continue now she’d started. “She’s meant to be home with us now, actually.”

And just like that they were discussing their current family issues. Whoops.

Edoardo abandoned cleaning and sat down on the couch. Arturo left Eleonora’s side to join him and she followed behind him, sitting down next to Edoardo.

“So she’s meant to be home with you right now but isn’t?”

Eleonora sighed. Why was she discussing this with him? She hadn’t even talked to Eva about it. She barely talked with Filo about it.

“Yeah. Her boyfriend, Paolo, has kids with his ex-wife. He normally has them on weekends and he doesn’t this weekend so they’re spending a few days in Venice.”

Edoardo was silent next to her. Eleonora couldn’t decide which situation was worse, a parent who chose work over their kid or a parent who chose another person.

“That sucks. What about your dad?”

And there it was. What she really hadn’t wanted to talk about.

“Uh, he died.”

Edoardo’s arm was suddenly around her shoulder, pulling her gently into his side. “I’m sorry, Ele.”

She let out a single, dry, laugh. “I’m sorry about your mother.”

She hated this. Telling people. It was slightly less terrible when the other person had been through it too. But she still hated this.

It was interesting, though, seeing how people reacted. If people, especially people their age, hadn’t been through something similar they never knew how to act and it showed. She could see it, how uncomfortable they were. So she shut it away, tried her best to be okay for everyone. No one wanted to deal with her not being okay.

When people had been through something similar, it was interesting seeing their reaction too. Often they tried to comfort people the way they’d needed to be comforted; sometimes the way they wish they had been. But they still didn’t really want to deal with it. No one did.

Maybe Edoardo just needed a hug.

Sometimes Eleonora thought all she needed was a really long hug.

Arturo, who’d been lying at their feet, stood up and pressed his face against her thigh.

No, she didn’t need a hug. She needed a dog.

There was silence for a while, Eleonora just sitting there with her head against Edoardo’s shoulder and his arm around her. Finally she spoke up. “Do you have any cookies?”

Edoardo looked down at her, grinning. “Of course.”

Eleonora sat cross-legged on Edoardo’s couch, a tin of cookies resting in her lap. Arturo was standing in front of her, trying to stick his head into the tin.

“No, Arturo, no! They’re not for you!”

“He’d believe you more if you weren’t laughing” Edoardo said as he walked into the room, the last of the cleaning up done. He sat down next to her, resting his arm behind her on the back of the couch.

“I’m keeping your dog” Eleonora told him solemnly.

He shifted slightly down on the couch, resting his head against the back of it as he watched her and Arturo with a smile. “No deal. But you can come visit him. He likes walks on the beach. We’ll take him on one.”

Eleonora looked over at him, rolling her eyes. “Ah, so that’s why you have such a cute dog? You use him to get girls. I bet you suggest beach walks to all the girls.”

Edoardo scoffed, throwing his hands up in the air in mock surrender. “Yes, you’ve caught me.”

Eleonora tried to ignore the way her heart was beating way too fast and her cheeks were heating up. Her lipstick probably blended in with her face.

“I bet you even take him on walks to pick up girls. Do you have him trained to run up to cute girls?”

Edoardo laughed loudly, causing Arturo to bark in response. Eleonora laughed as well, shushing Arturo and scratching behind his ears. She seriously wanted to keep this dog. Maybe she could trade one more date…

“Has your brother got back to you?” Edoardo asked the question reluctantly, and she had to admit she’d kind of forgotten why she was sitting on Edoardo’s couch with him.

“No” she said with a shake of her head.

“Well, you can stay here if you want.” He quickly hurried through his next words, seemingly desperate to get the next words out. “I can sleep on the couch and you can take my bed. No pressure. Whatever you want.”

Her heart thudded once in response. She said the next words without thinking. “You can’t sleep on this couch. You’d be so uncomfortable.”

Eleonora and Edoardo locked eyes, and her heart sped up in response.

Her poor heart. She was going to need a doctor after this.

Maybe she just needed a new heart. This one obviously wasn’t doing it’s job properly.

“Okay” was all he said in response. She sensed he was scared to say anything more in case she changed her mind.

“I only have one request” she said, trying her best to look serious.

“Yes?”

“The dog gets to stay with us.”

Edoardo laughed, tilting his head slightly to the side and giving her a look that made her breath catch in her throat. “Deal.”

As Eleonora followed Edoardo and Arturo from the room, she checked her phone. She hadn’t actually bothered to check for a response from Filo, and she did have one from him after all.

Bailed on the night out. What’s up?

Eleonora bit her lip, pausing to text back.

Nothing. Just wanted to know your plans. I’m staying at Eva’s. Love you.

She slid her phone back into her back pocket, knowing she was doing the wrong thing. Oh well. She was a failure. We all have flaws.

Edoardo’s room wasn’t what she expected. Like his dog, she didn’t know why she’d expected otherwise.

She’d also tried really hard not to think about the inside of Edoardo’s room.

It was simple, but not boring. He’d hung artwork on the walls, and a stack of books sat by what she assumed was his side of the bed.

She smirked at the very sad plant sitting on his bedside table. He followed her eyes, sighing dramatically.

“I unfortunately do not have what they call the ‘green thumb’.“

Eleonora just shook her head at him, still smiling.

“Do you want to take your makeup off? I have some stuff you can use…” Edoardo walked across the room as he spoke, pulling things out of his dresser. He turned around, holding out a shirt and pair of boxers to her.

She was still processing the fact that it sounded like he actually washed his face, a miracle for a teenage boy, so took the clothes without comment.

“The bathroom’s just outside to the right.”

Eleonora just nodded in response, following his directions to the bathroom. She changed, trying to ignore the fact that the t-shirt smelled faintly of him. She raided his drawers, astounded by him being possibly the only teenage boy ever to have a decent skincare routine.

She stared at herself in the mirror, running her fingers through her hair to try and tame it. There was a faint trace of mascara underneath her eyes, and she tried to rub it away with her fingertips but it just left her skin red instead. She sighed, giving up and making her way back to Edoardo’s bedroom.

Eleonora halted in his doorway, watching his bare back as he bent over his bed and fluffed up the pillows. Yes, his bare back. He expected her to sleep next to his bare goddamn chest.

Yeah, she was definitely going to need a new heart.

Taking a breath to steady herself, Eleonora tried to casually stroll across the room to the other side of the bed. “I assume this is my side” she said.

Edoardo grinned at her. “Yeah, that can be your side.”

Eleonora gave him a stern look, but didn’t comment otherwise. She shouldn’t have said that. She would have no permanent spot in this bed. Nope. It didn’t matter how good he looked shirtless.

For the record, very good.

She pulled back the covers on the bed, sitting down and sliding her legs underneath. She looked over at Arturo and patted the covers next to her, smiling when he instantly jumped up next to her.

Edoardo sighed. “The things I do for you. He’s not normally allowed on the bed.”

Eleonora shrugged. She didn’t want to admit that she wanted to keep something in between them.

Edoardo walked to the door, reaching out to turn the lights off.

“Ready?”

“Mm-hmm.”

He flicked the light switch, flooding the room with darkness. Eleonora held her breath, trying to hear his footsteps as he walked back to the bed. She felt the bed dip when he sat down, her heart beating hard in her chest. There was some rustling of sheets as he got comfortable, and then total silence.

“Goodnight, bellisima.”

“Buona notte, stronzo.”

His laugh was extra loud in the darkness. “You don’t think I’m an asshole. You like me.”

Eleonora wished she could just roll her eyes at him in response like she normally would. The whole pitch black thing was a bit of a nuisance in that regard. She slid herself down slightly in the bed, pulling the covers up to her chin.

“You still have shitty hair.”

#skam italia #incantava #eleonora sava #edoardo incanti #mine #skamit #skam it #skam italy #incantava fanfiction #m writes

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lightsandlostbells · 5 years

Text

Druck season 2, episode 9 reaction

This episode is hard to watch. It straight-up turns into a horror movie in the middle.

I’m obviously very excited to talk about Matteo’s season but I still want to do a thorough job with the last few S2 episodes, because I loved Mia’s season and think it deserves a close look. Hopefully I will get these done soon!

Episode 9

Clip 1 - Mia and Alex on the stairs

Mia is coming back from the shop talking to her mom. Bringing her parents into the story more at this point is not only relevant to their own marital issues, as we’ll see, but again, a reminder of what we’ve seen of them so far and a way to connect that Mia is projecting her family problems onto what happened with Sophie.

At first Mia tries to ignore Alexander, like she told him in her text to leave her alone. I don’t know if she’s so overcome with betrayal and hurt and shock that she thinks he isn’t worth her time, or if she just doesn’t want to face the truth. If she doesn’t talk to him, then he can’t confirm what Björn said, which would be devastating to her. But when Alexander wants to talk, she asks him outright if it’s true. When he says she can’t believe Björn, Mia points out that’s what Björn said about him. Ouch. It’s true that Mia knows Alex on a level she doesn’t know Björn, but that also might make the lies worse? Her boyfriend she opened up to and went through drama for vs. some dude she doesn’t really know.

He follows her into the building asking whether he knows how crappy Björn treated Sophie, and Mia blows up at him and says she doesn’t care who did what to each other. She’s mad that he lied to her about his sister. Because yeah, Alexander and Björn’s situation is a case of he said, he said, but the sister lie is pretty cut and dry. He told her she lived in Bali. Sophie is not in Bali, she’s dead. Therefore, he lied to Mia. It’s understandable she focuses on that. Alexander says it was just complicated and he would have told her. He’s not good at talking about that kind of stuff. Sure, I get that he finds it hard to talk about Sophie especially considering how she died. But you know, Mia would’ve had to find out eventually. When composing the guest list for their wedding, when Mia was like, “Hey, why don’t we invite your sister,” was Alexander going to be like, “About that...”?

At the same time, while I understand why it’s the sticking point for Mia, it’s also still one of the things I find most understandable from his POV? I mean, I really do have sympathy for Alexander here, and you could also argue that maybe he was even entertaining the fantasy that Sophie really was in Bali. It’s a pretty big lie, but it’s one that came from a place of pain. And the content of the lie isn’t hurtful to Mia herself, like Mia lying to the girls about being sick was hurtful to Kiki herself because it covered up her lie about Alexander; Sophie being dead doesn’t really hurt Mia in a personal way. It’s just the fact that it was a lie that hurts her.

Mia points out that he beat up a guy and then disappeared for several days. Again, that’s all of Alex. His silence was the most damning thing, tbh. If he’d texted Mia after it happened and gave even the briefest explanation (like “That guy hurt my sister”) then it wouldn’t be as messy. And by not explaining, he put Mia in the path to contact Björn since obviously Alexander wasn’t going to talk.

Alex says Björn is a psychopath, Mia say Alex is also not right in the head, if he can do something like almost kill Björn. He says she’s exaggerating, but ... no, she isn’t. All kinds of stuff could’ve happened to Björn, and I don’t care about him, but I do care about Alex not going to prison for killing a guy or severely injuring him.

He points out that she’s so pissed she could have pushed him down the stairs. Um, what? Which is also Mia’s reaction. Just from this angle, it looks like she’s angry and confronting him, and she grabbed his shoulder, but that’s not the same as pushing someone. But someone who is used to violence and abuse would think that. I truly doubt the thought even crossed Mia’s mind, it wouldn’t cross most people’s minds. So either that behavior is normal to him, or he’s just trying to counter her by making his own actions seem not that unusual. She says she didn’t push him and that’s the difference. Alex said if he did to her what Björn did to him, she would’ve pushed him. Man, that’s creepy? Like I know that Alexander is not a bad guy, and that Björn is a very bad guy, but he is being somewhat manipulative. Especially from Mia’s perspective, since she’s still in the dark, and Alex is basically telling her she’s capable of violence. As much as I would get a visceral thrill out of seeing Mia push Björn down the stairs, doesn’t seem to be the case.

Clip 2 - Mia and Amira on violence

Mia sits by a window at school, when Amira comes up. Hey, they managed to make this clip a windowsill scene like in OG, sort of!

The timing and context of this scene is pretty different from OG, obviously. With Noora and Sana, this scene happened before Noora told Vilde about her and William, so that was a critical component of the scene, the secret relationship, Noora being able to spill about William to Sana when she’d bottled up much of her feelings. This scene happens after Kiki knows, everyone knows, the happy ending should have been achieved.

Mia alludes to some Alex drama, then says she was truly in love with him. A lot of the dialogue here is similar to OG, such as when Mia asks Amira whether she ever just wants to get drunk and hook up with someone, and Amira says her faith is stronger than desire, and when Mia says her principles were the most important thing, but then since Alex, he’s the most important thing.

Mia tells Amira about the whole Alex-Björn-Sophie history and situation. Amira is surprised that Alexander had a sister. I wonder how plausible it is that so few people would know? I think it is perfectly possible, especially if the family tried to keep it quiet, but did Sophie go to the same school as Alex? IDK, it’s not really a nitpick, just wondering if there wouldn’t be any gossip at all, and if Sophie’s former classmates would have any idea she died, if there were any news articles about it, people posting memorials to Sophie on social media, etc. (I can definitely buy Mia and Amira not knowing, but Kiki would certainly be clued in to the gossip.)

Mia says she doesn’t know why she got involved with Alex because he’s not good. Amira is like, because he lied or because he beat up that guy? She doesn’t get it, why did Alex beat him up? Mia explains about Björn saying Alex blames him for the death of his sister, but that it’s not true. According to Mia, Alex twists her words, he says everyone in his situation would react the same way. Amira is like, hit someone with a skateboard??? My beautiful girl, we are on the same page with that one. But she also says, you don’t know exactly what happened between this guy and Alex, and you don’t want to know? Mia is like, is there a reason to hit someone with a skateboard? Amira says it depends what happened. I love her attitude here, I’ll get that that in a minute.

Amira is like, so it’s over between you, because of your principles? She says that when the fight happened with Hanna and those girls, she broke one of those girls’ noses. LMAO WHAT. Damn, Amira went hard. Were there any consequences for that? Not that I blame her since the other girls started the fight. Amira asks if Mia wants to stop associating with her, too. Mia says it was self-defense, they went after Hanna first, but Amira points out she doesn’t reject violence categorically. And well, it’s not mentioned, but Mia also jumped into that fight, she can’t cancel herself, lol.

The lesson for Mia is to find out the truth before she passes judgment. Amira is all, look, I’m not a fan of Axel either, but I saw how you two looked at each other, and maybe he deserves to be listened to. Mia and Amira share a little comfort moment where Amira rubs Mia’s arm and Mia puts her head on Amira’s shoulder.

Oh my God. They improved on this moment from the original show. You guys. This was my least favorite scene in all of Skam, and they made it so much more palatable for me. I’m so happy.

I was always bothered how Sana went to bat for William when she didn’t even know him. For instance, she says that William was angry and scared when he smashed the bottle on that guy’s head, but how could she possibly assume that from his motivations? I get assuming the best of people, but Sana doesn’t know William and she cannot accurately say that he’s a guy with sympathetic motivations and not some dude who just loves fighting and being violent. Like it came across as William apologia from the show’s voice of reason so we were supposed to accept it. Amira, on the other hand, does not make any assumptions about Alex’s motivations - she’s confused by what they were, and questions Mia’s hardline stance against violence, but she doesn’t jump in to tell us that Alex probably had good reasons for what he did. In fact, she says she doesn’t like Alex much, but she saw how Mia and Alex were together and maybe he deserves to have his side heard. I feel like this is what the original scene was trying for, and it somewhat got it across, but it was just framed in such a weird way, where Sana came across as defending William more than supporting Noora IMO, and in a situation where Noora was upset about him being violent. It was such an unhealthy message to be sending. Here I felt way more that Amira was Team Mia first and foremost, but she made a logical point by bringing up the fight to defend Hanna, and sure, it’s not the exact same situation, but it’s a decent way to illustrate that things aren’t always black and white, and maybe Mia should at least hear him out before she ends things with him.

And you know what? If Mia still wanted to be done with Alexander after this point, I’d be fine with that. Of course I know he has his reasons to do what he did, and I mean, from a story perspective I want them to end up together, but ultimately Mia is within her rights to say she doesn’t want to be with a guy who’s capable of beating someone with a skateboard no matter the reason. I felt like Amira was making more of a suggestion to listen to Alex, rather than a judgment toward Mia for not listening, which goes over way better with me.

Also, this scene is missing the part where Noora complains that William is controlling and she feels like she can’t argue against him, and Sana is like ... but does he get angry when you disagree? Then what’s the problem, that he’s smarter than you? That part of the scene has never felt right with me, first of all because William’s not actually that smart, lmao, all of his arguments are self-serving and it frustrated me that Noora wasn’t allowed to pick at the obvious holes in his bullshit. But more importantly, because it felt like there was no problem if William like ... didn’t Hulk out when Noora disagreed with him, that him getting angry was the only possible reason him telling Noora what to do or feel or think would be an issue. As if him trying to tell her what to think/feel/do in itself isn’t a problem, but also, completely ignoring that there are other ways besides anger someone can react unhealthily if you disagree with them. Like, for example, belittling you and calling you naive, something William does to Noora. Or dismissing your concerns as a tedious hurdle to get over, something William also does to Noora. Or turning your argument back on you, making you seem like the bad guy, like oh, you thought I was mean for saying something rude to Vilde? Well YOU were the mean one for saying rude things to me after that! Something William does to Noora. Sana’s response to Noora’s concern that William was controlling presented manipulative behavior within the limited manifestation of anger, when it can take so many more forms. And to be clear, Alex does say a lot of the same bullshit earlier in the season, during the date with Mia, but at least here Amira isn’t rushing to defend him. (And you know, if your friend tells you she thinks her boyfriend is controlling, maybe you should just accept her gut feeling and not try to talk her out if it. She probably knows better than you. Just saying.)

Clip 3 - Björn ruins everything

It’s raining and Mia’s headed to Alex’s. She run into Björn coming out of the building. Björn says he was there to see Alex, but he wasn’t home. Mia’s like, you sure that’s a good idea? I mean, maybe not for Alex, but anything that potentially leads to Björn getting his ass beat sounds like a magnificent idea, IMO.

They have polite talk about how he’s doing. He’s leaving but then turns around and apologizes for dragging Mia into this, it should be between him and Alex only. See, I can completely get why Mia might give Björn some benefit of the doubt, because outwardly he seems polite and thoughtful. He seems to be handling the matter more maturely than Alexander. Alex might be the better guy on the inside, but on the outside he can be rude and inconsiderate.

Mia starts to cry and sits down on the stoop, saying how everything happens at once. Björn sits down; he’s not overly in her face at this point, like he’s not trying to hug her or touch her, he just carefully asks if he should go and then sits down with plenty of space between them. Again, right now Björn doesn’t seem like such a terrible guy. It’s not like his behavior immediately pings as predatory.

Mia gets a text from her dad about her parents’ separation. Her mom kicked out her dad. Björn offers sympathy and beer. She says no, but he says alcohol can solve all your problems. So she agrees to a beer, and Björn goes off to get some. It’s pretty subtle, this moment, because again Björn seems like a nice guy, and in another instance, this could be a completely innocent suggestion. But he’s basically planning to lower her defenses. If she has one beer, maybe she’ll have another. And another. Maybe she’ll get drunk. Maybe she won’t be able to fight back. When Mia initially declines, he re-suggests it in such a friendly, helpful way, not like he’s pressuring her. But he does want her to re-consider. Like why does Björn care whether Mia has a beer or not, why is he invested? It’s chilling when you look back at this and see how his intentions were there all along.

While Björn is gone, Alex calls. He’s at school about to take a maths exam, but they express their desire to talk. They’re very polite and calm, not heated or emotional. They agree to talk tomorrow. Björn just ruins everything, they would have worked things out and Mia wouldn’t have been assaulted if Björn hadn’t been creeping around Alex’s. Actually, why does Björn go to Alex’s place? Is he stealing stuff? Trying to get Sophie’s things? He’s just a creep who gets off on the power of walking through Alex’s place when he’s not around?

Björn comes back with the beer and they clink to divorced parents. He tells her a story about his own family problems; he found chats between his dad and an old school friend, and his dad told him not to tell his mom, but his mom eventually caught the dad Skyping nude. Dad said Björn knew all along, so she kicked both of them out. But now he’s over it and gets along well with his parents.

This is a pretty interesting anecdote, honestly, because my initial reaction was, well, that’s shitty of Björn’s mom. It’s not your kid’s fault, the dad is the one in the position of power and the one who’s cheating on you, the dad is throwing his son under the bus. And then I was like ... well. If this story is true. Because this is something else manipulative of Björn, telling Mia a sad story that relates to her own family problems at the moment. Gaining her sympathy, opening up to her and telling her something personal so she feels she can trust him. I mean, Björn got me here and I know what’s coming in the story. If I momentarily forgot this guy’s true character, then it’s easy to see how Mia can feel like this guy isn’t so bad.

We don’t know if that story is true or not. If it’s true, then it’s an indicator of a dysfunctional family life and possibly a bad upbringing full of secrets and lies - definitely not an excuse for Björn’s behavior, though. Alexander also has a crappy family situation and he manages to not assault drunk girls. In any case, it’s a disturbing story. Björn says he’s over it and has a good relationship with his parents, but does he really? Is that just a thing he’s saying to make Mia think he doesn’t hold grudges? He’s not bitter at his mom for throwing him out as a teenager, he’s totally chill, he’s not the villain that Alexander said he was. He wouldn’t have an unwarranted grudge against Alexander or anything. The story not only makes Mia feel bad for him, but it makes him sound like a level-headed person who doesn’t cling to past wrongs. And the story also makes him sound like an innocent bystander, basically. Björn is the victim of other people’s indiscretions. And hey, maybe in this case it was true, but there’s something about it that primes you to think maybe Björn was just an innocent bystander in the Hardenberg family drama as well. It’s all pretty subtle but looking back on it, you see that sharing this story wasn’t just casual, it was strategic.

Mia says she doesn’t even know why it makes her feel bad, her parents are terrible together. He says it’s stupid to wish everything stays the way it was. They walk off together into the rain. It gets a little blurrier. Probably because Mia is drinking.

By the way, I love the presence of the rain in this clip. It might have been unintentional, it just happened to rain the day they filmed this scene, but I appreciate the atmosphere it conjures. Wet and cold, not super comfortable if you’re caught in it. Just something to add to Mia’s gloomy mood. (Or, you know, I also just like rain sounds.)

We see the two of them getting on the bus and Björn filming her for Instagram, through the POV of his phone’s camera. She’s not into being filmed, but Björn does it. Meanwhile Mia is opening another beer. Björn is getting closer to Mia, leaning into her for a selfie. Seems ominous as FUCK.

Clip 4 - Run away, Mia

Mia is still hanging out with Björn. NOOOOO BABY NOOOOO.

She says she has to go home and FaceTime with her dad, she explains her parents live in Madrid and that she’s 18 and lives alone, moved out when she was 16. Her aunt lives around the corner and used to check on her. We didn’t hear that before? I mean, maybe they weren’t super close, but auntie was an adult figure in Mia’s life monitoring her, that seems like an added bit of stability instead of a 16-year-old being completely on her own. But anyway, this part of the conversation gave me massive anxiety, because I was so worried that Björn was going to use this information against her. He knows she lives on her own, not with her parents, and I was afraid he was going to follow her home or try to go back with her and basically use this information to prey on her. I was utterly dreading that happening and hoping that like, Hans and Linn would be there to intervene and Mia wouldn’t wake up with Björn in her bed or something.

Mia says she doesn’t want to study, and Björn suggests hanging out with the guy her boyfriend almost killed instead. At that, Mia says Alex said Björn treated Sophie badly. Björn does not actually deny this, which is a red flag, IMO. He says that they treated each other badly and Sophie was complicated. Look, it happens in real life, instances where both partners in a relationship hurt each other, it’s mutually toxic, but abusers being like “my partner hurts me too” is a common defensive tactic. They shift responsibility for the abuse and present themselves as the victim, too. Notice he doesn’t elaborate on how exactly they treated each other badly, he just walks away, ending that line of conversation.

He sees some people taking a photo and he offers to help them. See, what a helpful, decent guy he is! Don’t think too much about the Sophie thing! Then he has them take a picture of him and Mia. (I love the one lady who’s waving at them, lol.) Björn has the guy take picture after picture, “one more” over and over. If I didn’t have bigger reasons to hate Björn, I’d want to kick his ass just for that, tbh.

Oh no, it’s even later and Mia’s still walking around with Björn, drinking. Lots of focus on the beer bottles. The night seems to get dreamier as it goes on.

OH JESUS that shot of Mia smiling and Björn blurred in the background, then switching to Björn in the background eyeing her. Fucking CHILLING, it’s like he’s eyeing her like prey. It doesn’t last too long and it doesn’t beat you over the head or anything with what a bad dude Björn is, but it’s enough to send shivers down your spine. It’s enough to make you think something is off, in case you too got drawn into Björn’s faux harmlessness.

I get why Mia would be out with Björn, because he has done a very convincing job of seeming normal and nice. She’s going through a very hard time, with Alexander, her family, not to mention other stresses like exams, and this evening feels like an escape. She can wander through the city drinking and feeling free and having fun. Björn isn’t asking anything heavy of her at this point. He’s just been a sympathetic listener and a chill companion. He’s managed to get to Mia when she’s vulnerable and wear down her defenses with alcohol. This guy is a skilled manipulator.

Clip 5 - Kill Björn, for real

Mia just keeps drinking. Oh no. She’s getting dizzy and drunk. She checks her phone and sees how late it is. . I like how the camera is all wobbly and gets blurry at points, like she’s so tipsy that it takes a moment to focus on her phone. She realizes she has to get home. Björn stops her. He tries to kiss her and she steps back, her giggly relaxed mood gone. She says she’s going to drink water. She goes into a bar or restaurant or something and is in the bathroom drinking water from the sink. (The graffiti reflected in the mirror says Eazy Peasy Lemon Squeezy, by the way. Truly the most important detail of this scene.)

Mia pukes a little into the toilet. She moans as if in pain. Things are getting very unstable and unfocused now. The sound effects and cinematography are ominous as hell, like this went south real fucking fast. There are a lot of closeups so you only get brief glimpses of what’s happening

OH MY FUCKING GOD HE’S BEHIND HER, WE SEE HIM STANDING IN THE BACKGROUND AS SHE’S HUNCHED OVER THE TOILET

Jesus CHRIST this is filmed similar to a horror movie, like he’s Michael Myers or some shit. Seriously, they film Björn similar to a slasher villain, his face blurred out, his figure unfocused in the background. Poor Mia is sick and feeling miserable so she doesn’t even notice that he’s behind her.

Was he locking/barring the door?

…. What is he doing?

HOLY FUCK IS HE JERKING OFF AND FILMING HER, DESPICABLE

The sound of his breathing as he does that ... JFC, he IS Michael Myers.

The look on her face when she realizes she’s not alone, damn. She gets up and shoves him aside, says to leave her alone. Thank God she was able to escape.

Mia gets outside and there’s some slow motion as she runs through the streets disoriented. She gasps when some guy asks if she has a light. Everyone is a threat now. She must also be worried that Björn has caught up to her or found her.

Björn texts her the pictures he took of her that day, going from smiles and happiness to Björn filming Mia from behind in the bathroom. The way the clip ends on her heavy breathing makes me think of Alexander’s panic attack and the focus on his breathing.

So we’re still doing this storyline, with only two episode left. I am glad that they didn’t drop such an important theme of S2; earlier, as we were getting closer to the end of the season with this plot not happening, I thought they might not include Björn assaulting Mia, but that sexual assault would be brought up because it turns out Björn raped Sophie and she ended up committing suicide because of it. I definitely wouldn’t say they toned down the assault but they did omit a part that would absolutely require more screentime than is perhaps possible at this point, when Noora thought she may have been raped but is unsure because she blacked out. That was like a two-episode plot point, there were scenes that focused on her finding out the truth. Something terrible happened to Mia, but it seems like she’s mostly aware of what happened; she was drunk but she didn’t black out. Narratively that’s better for the remaining time in the season, it would be waaaaaay too intense to cram in Mia trying to figure out if she was raped by Björn while she was unconscious, on top of wrapping up everything else in the season.

This clip was really, really good. Horrifying, but well-executed. The reveal of Björn standing behind Mia in the bathroom caused genuine fear in me. It was pretty clear about what happened but it didn’t cross over into unnecessary grossness because they had Björn be shadowed and his movements be kind of obscured, like it was shocking but didn’t feel like the moment was done for shock value, if that makes sense.

Clip 6 - Mia shutting out the world

Mia is lying in bed. She’s got wet eyes but she almost seems all cried out.

Hanna texts her about missing her bio exam, oh no. Mia says she’s sick. Nooo, Mia, don’t cut yourself off from your friends about this.

Hans and Linn come in and say Alexander is here. Mia says she’s sick, and the roommates already told him that but he won’t leave. She still doesn’t want to see him. However, Alexander comes and knocks on the door. She gets up and locks it. I like that moment, how careful and quiet it is, but also how simple it is, like she doesn’t seem to be debating it too much, she just knows with utter certainty she cannot face Alexander right now, and that’s heartbreaking.

You can hear Alexander trying to open the door and calling for her but it gets blocked out when Mia gets back in bed and sticks in her earbuds and listening to sad music - like the reverse of that earlier scene where she took out the earbuds to be able to hear him. There she was slowly opening up to Alexander, here she’s decisively trying to shut him out.

I like that the camera gets so close and focused on Mia toward the end, like she’s shutting everything else out. Except her own thoughts, those she can’t escape. The closing images after Mia shuts her eyes are flashbacks to last night, the trauma lingering.

Clip 7 - New Kiki is an upgrade

It’s a few days later. Mia is on her bed, looking at her computer. Hans says the kitchen is on fire and to come help, and lmao, I love that this is apparently plausible enough that Mia doesn’t call bullshit, like Hans could genuinely be burning down the apartment right now. which I guess was to lure her out of her room. But of course it was really to lure Mia out of her room, and when Mia opens the door, he says it’s a lie, and that she has a visitor.

Kiki is there, and she is wearing big round glasses that are utterly adorable. I love this development for how cute she looks and because of what it says about Kiki’s potential development. I don’t know, is it still considered uncool to wear glasses, or have we moved beyond that? But I do think that an image-conscious person like Kiki wearing big round glasses is a nice sign of her being more comfortable in her skin.

Kiki asks about her and Mia says she’s sick with a fever, Kiki doesn’t buy it. Worth mentioning that the last time Mia claimed to be sick, it was also fake, so Kiki is gonna suspect another fib right away. She says that Hanna said Mia missed her biology exam and didn’t call in sick. Mia said she forgot. Mia :(

Mia says Kiki doesn’t have to take care of her when she’s been a terrible friend and Kiki has better things to do, but Kiki shuts that down, saying Mia Winter doesn’t whine and she doesn’t pity herself. Heh, I love that Mia tried to push her away but Kiki seems totally over the drama, which is a big step considering a few weeks ago she was posting angry IG stories showing how she was pissed at Mia.

That gets through to Mia a bit. She says she likes Kiki’s glasses. Kiki does that expert push-up-the-nose gesture glasses wearers learn to perfect and thanks her, saying Carlos thinks they’re ugly. Mia correctly is like, he has no taste, you look fantastic! Kiki says she thinks so, too. Awww! Kiki was so willing to change herself for what Alexander wanted (trying to get a new perfume because Alexander didn’t like hers) that it’s nice to hear she doesn’t give a fuck what her boyfriend thinks about how she looks. It’s about what Kiki likes about herself, not a boy.

I like Carlos and all, but he’s the one in need of glasses if he doesn’t think Kiki looks good in hers. I mean that is legitimately a terrible opinion. This is why girls should not listen to boys’ hot takes on their appearances

Kiki says she’s feeling really good, although Carlos tells her she should go to a therapist because she’s so concerned about gaining weight. Mia is like, that’s what I’ve been telling you since we’ve met! Kiki says she never said it so directly. Well … fair point, from what I recall? Did Mia ever outright say Kiki should try therapy, or has she always been carefully walking up to the subject but never quite getting there? Really I’m not sure Kiki would have tried therapy before, and I don’t want to pin it on her getting a new boyfriend and valuing his opinion, but I also think the fact that she’s no longer chasing someone who isn’t interested in her, trying to keep his attention, does a lot to push the focus back to herself. Not what Alexander wants, but what Kiki wants.

Mia asks if she’s going to do therapy, and Kiki says she’s already been to a therapist, who is a tree hugger. Yesss, Kiki went to therapy! Honestly I would’ve expected her to put up more of a fight about it, considering she didn’t believe there was a problem for a long time, but it seems she’s accepted it. Mia says it helped her, and explains to Kiki that when she was 13-14 she was so lovesick she didn’t want to eat anymore and got sent to a psychologist after collapsing at school. She didn’t like it at first, but now realizes she wouldn’t have been able to get better if it weren’t for the psychologist. Kiki asks why she thinks she has to deal with everything on her own, then. Mia doesn’t really have a response to that. Kiki holds Mia’s hand and says they’re all there for her. Kiki hugs her as Mia tears up

Such a great scene, and I LOVE that Druck is having characters talk about therapy and normalizing it. We’ve heard about Mia, Kiki, and Alexander going to therapy, and it’s treated not as a scary or shameful thing, but something that’s a real option to help people live better lives. I love that Kiki seems to be in a better place but still acknowledges that she could use help for her weight-related anxiety. I love that they acknowledge that going to therapy doesn’t instantly solve your issues, but that Mia says it ended up being instrumental in her recovery. It’s just a very thoughtful inclusion and I think it’s part of why I feel Druck really wants to help teenagers in the way that Skam did.

Clip 8 - Björn fjucked up

That was a typo in my notes that I have made more than once and I decided to keep it.

Mia waits for Björn in a bar. When he enters he tries to touch her in greeting, and I feel my inner Ripley rising. GET AWAY FROM HER YOU BITCH. Mia is not receptive to his touch.

Björn tries to order a beer for her - he doesn’t ask, just orders, but she says she doesn’t want one. He was probably trying to get her guard down again, seeing how well it worked last time. He even tries to get her to change her mind like last time, saying it’s on him. Trying to seem all friendly and generous again. But Mia is aware of his true character now.

Björn wants to sort out this drama quickly, how dismissive. He apologizes for what happened, saying he was wasted. But when Mia is unimpressed, Björn says he misintepreted the signals Mia gave him, so let’s not make a #MeToo thing out of this. FUCK YOU, DUDE. He says she flirted with him and now she’s embarrassed. Shifting the responsibility, making it Mia’s fault. Mia’s like, I sent you signals to whip out your dick in front of me? Seriously. Even in a hypothetical scenario where she had been flirting with him, how do you make the leap from flirting to taking your dick out, like isn’t that wildly extreme? And how do you interpret Mia as flirting when she had just backed away from a kiss outside? That’s a pretty clear stop sign. Björn says he was drunk, what is she going to do if she really gets harassed? Goddamn. Druck has the abuser response playbook absolutely down perfect, I’m pretty impressed at how they nailed the typical bullshit excuses.

Mia says he did sexually harass her and that she reported him. Björn is like, are you serious? He confides that he has a criminal record and this won’t look good for him. LMAO, not her problem you have a criminal record, dude. Shoulda thought of that before you took of your dick. And why the fuck do you have a criminal record?

He starts to get emotional and almost sniffly (manipulative) but Mia holds her ground. Her face is just unresponsive and unsympathetic and I love it. She’s not cracking. Then Björn asks her if she’s shown the pics to Alex, and Mia shakes her head. He says he’ll show them to Alex. Björn is pissed because her psychopath boyfriend almost broke his neck, and now Mia wants to report him over nothing, according to him. He says he’s just fighting back. Again, I fucking love how stone cold Mia is. Let Björn lash out all he wants, he’s not getting through to her.

Björn says if Mia doesn’t take back the report, He will show Alex the pictures and report him for grievous bodily harm. FUCK. I think she has a very brief moment of consideration, probably for what will happen to Alex, but Mia says, go ahead, he deserved it. DAMN GIRL. STONE. COLD. Björn says what does she think the police will do when they were alone, no one saw them, and she was drunk? Mia says maybe he would’ve gotten away with it a few years ago, but times have changed. And yes, maybe this is awfully optimistic of her. It’s not like #MeToo and related movements have made it so victims always get justice, that they are always believed and supported. There is still a long, long way to go. And of course I understand that things are not simple and there are reasons why victims would not want to report. But I still like that this is the message. I feel like it’s important to show that Mia will not be silenced and that she isn’t discouraged from reporting. Of course it’s never easy, but this is part of how the world changes, when women speak out.

Björn accuses her of trying to fight some feminist war, she says yeah (lmao that backfired on him, feminism is not a dirty word for women like Mia) and that she’s not going to keep her mouth shut even if the police can’t prove anything. It’s not blackmail, it’s the truth.

Björn gets up to leave, but before he goes, says Mia is brave, totally alone. One final attempt from him to get her to back down. Mia says she’s not afraid of him. Not gonna lie, I was waiting for that beer on the table to get thrown in someone’s face or for Björn to slam it down and break the glass or something.

After he goes, she takes her phone out of her pocket and says, he’s gone, I’m coming over to you now. She sees a bunch of text messages of support from the crew. Awww, the girls. So were they listening to the conversation? Recording it, hopefully? Because Björn just incriminated the hell of out himself. Not like he denied taking out his dick.

I do wish we had seen more of the girls prior to this scene, because Noora telling her friends was so important in that story. Even if Mia just told Kiki when Kiki visited, that would’ve been really great to see. But I do like that it proves how wrong Björn is when he says she’s totally alone, for that claim to be countered immediately, when we see the whole time she had people on her side.

Social Media/General Comments

Mia’s mom sends her a quote from Julia Engelmann, saying it moves her and she would like Mia to contact her. Google tells me she is a German actress who does slam poetry. I don’t know if there are any specific connotations with her, let me know if there’s something to this person that’s especially relevant to this story. Anyway, the quote is “Everything’s good, but never good enough. I don’t let go enough but allow way too much.” And regardless of the intent of the quote, in the context of Mia’s mom, I think she’s trying to say how her life isn’t what she wants. She feels stifled with Mia’s dad, she’s feeling restless. She wanted to hang out with Mia but something about it almost felt like she just wanted to get away and hang out in Berlin as much as see her daughter. Her life is OK but she craves more, and she isn’t as free as she wants to be, she allows too much from Mia’s dad. Mia is independent and this season she’s been letting down her guard to let someone else in, Mia’s mom wants to be independent and seems like she’s shutting out her husband.

So there’s a clip of sorts between Mia and her mom, that wasn’t in the episode itself, but was posted on the YouTube channel. It’s a video chat. Mia’s mom says she and the dad are separating, and what we learn from Mia is that this isn’t the first time it’s happened, or said it was going to happen, and that obviously Mom went back to Dad before. Mom says she was too weak it call it quits for good before, and now Dad is begging her to stay. Mom didn’t tell Dad, though, she thinks he just has to know that she can’t stand him anymore. Errr, not a great plan? As Mia points out, she’s just going to treat him like shit until he leaves. Mia describes this plan as cowardly. Now Mom gets upset and says Mia is making accusations. Mia thinks she deserves them because she’s playing with her dad and keeping him in suspense instead of being honest. Mom thinks if she throws him out, Dad will just come crawling back, and she’ll have to be the bad guy by breaking up with him. Mia says yeah, sometimes that happens. Mom doesn’t want Dad to hate her. Mia says sometimes that’s how it works. This actually gets through to her mom, like she seems to realize it has to be this way before she ends the call.

It’s amazing because Mia seems to be a lot more mature than her mom, like Mia’s mom is an adult and Mia is a teenager. But Mia also had to grow up faster by being independent and living on her own.

Mia also learned the same lesson earlier this season. She avoided telling Kiki the truth, in an attempt to avoid conflict, not have Kiki hate her, and not deal with the consequences of her relationship with Alexander. But eventually everything was discovered and exploded. Sometimes you have to be the bad guy if you’re going to be honest.

More Jonas messiness as Matteo asks if he wants to know if Hanna hooked up with boy Sam, Jonas says no, but then seems curious when Matteo says she didn’t. Later, Matteo texts Jonas as Jonas is missing his history exam. Jonas seems way too casual about oversleeping and missing the test, he’s not freaking out about it as most people would. My boy, you are all over the place.

Mia texts Hans to come get her and it has such a feeling like Isak texting Eskild after the hotel scene, I love it. I don’t think Hans realized the depth of what happened to Mia just from that short text conversation, obviously, but he came and got her without questions. I enjoyed this especially because at times Hans has seemed more selfish and careless than Eskild was, but we see that he really does have a thoughtful caring side here.

I lost track of some of the SM stuff at the time, but I heard Mia deactivated her Instagram after the assault? If so, ouch, poor Mia. Also a good use of the real-time and SM format.

When Mia texted Björn to arrange a meeting with him, Björn was so overly friendly, using happy emojis, and he said she could come to his place. UGH. Red fucking flag. Mia thankfully suggested the bar without acknowledging what he said. But it just grosses me out how innocent he tried to make himself come across, as if their last encounter didn’t end in Mia running away from him.

There was a ton of fandom drama because Björn’s actor decided to post some stuff on IG about how in a parallel universe Björn and Mia were the OTP or what the fuck ever, and then went on a rant all Alt Er Love when people pointed out it was messed up to glorify his sexual predator character. I didn’t pay a ton of attention to it because at best it was cringe-worthy and probably an attempt to win over the Skam fanbase, at worst gross and inappropriate, like I get it, as an actor you have to get into your character’s mindset, and a guy like Björn probably doesn’t think he’s the bad guy, he’s the one being wrongfully accused. But you shouldn’t carry that abuse apologia when you’re done with the job. Anyway, I don’t think we’ll see Björn after this so ... bye.

I’m not German so feel free to elaborate, clarify, or correct anything that I missed or misunderstood

If you got this far, thank you for reading!

#druck reactions #druck

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drmiralife · 7 years

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Yousef-No-chill-Acar’s POV - A fanfic Part 2

This is my idea of what Yousef might have been thinking and what might have made him act the way he did in Episode 5 at SYNG and also Episode 6. I just wanted to put myself in his shoes, rather than being mad at him any longer, and try to make light of this messy Yousana situation. The first chapter was a throwback to the development of his feelings and how he experienced the past encounters with Sana in the prior episodes, this one is about Even, the fight and the Noora kiss. Hope you like it and I am open to suggestions and ideas <3

PART ONE here

PART TWO

Yousef met the boys at the Metro station. The Squad hugged each other, pecked each other’s cheeks and made their way to the party. They all seemed excited.

Adam asked “Yo Elias, you sure the girls from your apartment the other night are coming??”

“Yes, Sana said they would be there” Elias said exasperated answering this question for what felt like the 100th time. There was some cheering and High Fives from the guys.

“So I finally get to see her again..”, Mutta proclaimed dreamingly. All the guys looked questioningly at each other. Yousef finally said “Huh, who?” thinking of a few ways to beat him up, if he dared to say Sana. “This one girl- No princess! She was the most beautiful thing I ever beheld, she-”

Elias started laughing “What the fuck, who are you talking about?”

“She was at your place the other night, and I swear the moment I came in, she couldn’t keep her eyes of me” Mutta explained. All the guys chuckled at their friends antics. Mikael eventually said “She probably saw buggers crawling out of your nose and couldn’t help but stare.” The boys cracked up at that comment, while Elias continued “Like a car accident, you don’t want to see it, but can’t help looking!” Adam started motioning buggers coming out of Mutta’s Nose, while they all had a hard time holding back their laughter. Mutta tried to defend himself “Vallah she was into me! “, while Yousef patted his Neck comfortingly. They then went into a discussion, about whether Mutta had a chance with that girl and how he could possibly higher them.

Yousef wasn’t paying attention anymore, he zoned out into his own thoughts about Sana and how these things could apply to their relationship. He knew there were still many doubts between them, which is why he tried to keep his hopes at bay, but he was failing miserably. Last Friday had more than exceeded his expectations and he was hoping the same for tonight, which brought a rush excitement and nervousness to him. Despite that, he tried to calm his mind and think straight, so he wouldn’t fail when they saw each other. He wanted Sana to think he was cool.

Yousef was brought back from his thoughts when Elias proclaimed, Sana just wrote him to ask where they were. The guy’s heads immediately shot towards Yousef. Even though his heart began racing with excitement and his hands were sweaty, because Sana couldn’t wait for them - for him- to be there, he kept a nondescriptive facade in front of his friends. Yousef knew they all suspected he had some feelings for Sana, and they teased him about that from time to time, but only when Elias wasn’t around. The boys didn’t want to make any comments about Sana in front of her older brother. But Yousef also suspected that Elias knew, and once or if there would be anything serious developing between Sana and him, he would get a talk from Elias about not hurting his sister. Not that Yousef needed a reminder of Elias strength nor not to hurt Sana, he could never do such a thing. The thought alone, that he could be responsible for inflicting pain to somebody as pure as her and being the reason for her mesmerizing smile fading, made his heart clench inside his chest. He pushed that thought aside as the Club with the name SYNG was reaching his sight. The guys were still joking about something, but he couldn’t hear anything above his heartbeat and excitement to see Sana after a week, which felt like an eternity to him. He straightened his shirt and pants while walking towards the entry, hoping to make the best impression to her.

Yousef was the first to enter the club, desperately searching for a glimpse of Sana. He was brought out of his thoughts by Elias’ hand landing on his shoulder, which directed him to look towards the stage. There standing was a frozen Even, just as shocked to see them as they were to see him. He looked on stage and a guy, who seemed to be Even’s boyfriend (?) came to help him sing as all the people in the room started chanting Imagine together. Yousef couldn’t help but feel happy to see that Even had found new friends.

As he roamed the club with his eyes, they finally met a smirking Sana. And as if a lightning hit Yousef he understood. An awful sense of betrayal and foolishness was creeping his way through his body, as his smile vanished. How stupid could I have been.. This is the reason Sana wanted us here, this was her plan all along. So we could play happy family with Even again.. And as if the universe was out to get to him tonight, Sana looked more beautiful than he had ever seen. He needed some air, and excused himself and went straight to the bathroom.

He closed the door and held onto the sink while trying to sort himself. Realisation hit him as disappointment rose inside Yousef. She doesn’t want to be with me. She just wants to play god and have us all together here, that’s the reason she even cared to invite me in the first place. That’s why she didn’t reach out to me all week. The dismay was then replaced by anger. She didn’t listen to a thing I said about my faith. Is this what she wants?! To get me back into Islam, by making up with Even?! I poured my heart out to her and she didn’t even mention that she knows how Even is doing. I thought she had understood. Did I imagine last week? Did I imagine everything between us?? His mind was clouded with a cocktail of emotions. He couldn’t even begin to straighten all the thoughts rushing through him. He needed to calm down. He turned on the cold water from the sink, took of his hat and started washing his hands, face and neck trying to cool himself. It reminded him of a time when he still used to pray, which just send his thoughts spiralling towards Sana and the regret he felt about everything that had happened with Even. She didn’t feel any compassion at all about the fact that the Even situation, made me lose my faith. She just cares to get her own way. He couldn’t think straight. How could I have been such a fool? This can’t be true. He turned off the water and dried himself up. He needed to be calm right now. He couldn’t get too emotional.

As he walked out of the bathroom he saw Elias and Adam standing in front of the entry looking a little worried. He walked towards them asking “Whats happening?” Elias pointed outside and said “Mikael and Even are talking. Mutta is there too.” Yousef understood. Mikael and Even looked a little uncomfortable, but they seemed to be talking calmly. Mutta probably helped by breaking the silence. Maybe this wasn’t that bad at all? But he was thrown right back into reality as Even’s boyfriend came interrupting the scene. They heard him say “What’s going on here?” looking quiet irritated and not too happy about Even’s and Mikael’s conversation. Adam, Elias and Yousef tensed a little. Mutta trying to let Even and Mikael have their long overdue talk put his arm in front of the boyfriend saying “Come on Bro, let’s leave them alone” The boyfriend seemed to misunderstand his arm as a threat and pushed Mutta away, who taken of guard fell to the ground. Before Yousef could even blink, Elias and Adam were running to the scene. Shit this won’t end well. Elias didn’t take it lightly when someone dared to attack his friends, so Yousef expected, what happened next: Elias full force hit Even’s boyfriend in the face. Screaming at him what he was thinking by attacking Mutta. Then some other guys came rushing to the scene attacking his friends. So Yousef ran there as well, trying to separate them. It was impossible. In this state Elias wouldn’t listen, he knew that. Only one person can calm him. Sana. F*ck. Yousef ran inside trying, desperately trying to find her. There she was by the bar talking to Noora. He ran to her, touched her back trying to emphasize the urgency of the situation and told her about Elias being in trouble. Worry and shock spread across her face, but was immediately replaced by strength and confidents. She got to her feet with a straight back and made her way outside. Yousef wanted to follow, but was frozen to the spot. This is her fault isn’t it? Had she not set us up, there would have never been a fight. Now she needs to see how she can break this up. He paused that thought. What are you thinking, Acar? She could get hurt. Before he was about to go after her he took a look at Noora, who seemed really upset. Yousef said “You are good here right?” while starting to leave, he heard her say “No”, which made him stop. Maybe this was a sign that he should not go out and get further involved. He felt guilty enough about Even, he didn’t want to face this fight anymore. He knew Elias would stop the moment he would see Sana and they would leave together. So Yousef took this chance of distraction and stayed with Noora. “Why? What happened?” He asked trying to calm down. She tried to smile “Ah nothing really. It’s just I found out my ex has a new girlfriend. And as if that’s not bad enough it seems, everybody knew but me”

“I’m sorry, that must be hard” he said.

“It’s okay”, she tried to smile at him, “It’s just, I just don’t understand Sana..”

“Sana?” that name had him on full attention modus again.

Noora explained, “She knew but didn’t tell me. “

“Mhm..” Yousef thought, that didn’t sound anything like Sana, “But how did Sana know? Does she have more contact to your ex than you or?”

“No no. He lives in London.”

“Well, maybe she didn’t tell you, because she thought it was a rumour? Sounds like she didn’t want to hurt you without knowing the whole truth.” Here he was protecting the girl, who mocked him and his feelings.

“Yes, you are probably right. That is what Sana would do.” Noora agreed, but added “Her behaviour still doesn’t make perfect sense to me, though.”

“Her behaviour?” Yousef was really curious, because it didn’t make sense to him either.

“Yes, you know, I guess she wanted me to get over Willia- I mean, my ex by meeting new guys. So we went to Grønland together, I think so there would be Muslim guys for her as well. And we actually met two really nice Muslim students, who flirted with us and all..” Yousef felt like he has just been slapped in the face. Here he was dreaming and crushing over a girl, who was dating other guys. His heart was aching with the betrayal. He knew it shouldn’t, they weren’t together after all, but he couldn’t help it. She had taken over his whole life, infected his thoughts with every little smile. He was overanalysing every little interaction between them. Thinking she liked him back. But she went ahead and dated other people. Not just other people. Other Muslim people, because that is all that seemed to matter. When he thought it couldn’t get worse, Noora continued her story. “But it didn’t make sense, because Sana had said before, when I suggested dating another Muslim guy I knew that they were immature and only played with Norwegian girls. This didn’t make sense to me at all.”

“Another Muslim guy?”, he asked, and Noora seemed to blush.

She continued smiling nervously “Well, ha-ha, you?” That was it, the final answer, confirming all of his fears. He was the immature guy who only played with Norwegian girls? Is that how low she had thought of him. The pain in Yousef’s chest became excruciating. He was such a fool, falling in love with a girl, who would never like him back. All the interactions he must have seen through pink glasses. Every emotion he must have only felt on his part. He was devastated.

Yousef tried to pull himself back to reality, as hard as it was and managed to say “I’m not Muslim”

“You are not?” Noora asked surprised.

“No” he said coldly. He was drained from emotions.

“So you don’t mind if I do this?” and before he could say anything she crashed her lips on his, her arms snaking her way around his neck and her lips moving furiously on his. He didn’t protest. He needed to let go. So he kissed Noora back, but keeping his hands at his side. It felt good, like any kiss would feel good. But there were no usual emotions, just the pain and need to forget everything. The longer they kissed the less he felt. He didn’t want Noora, he just wanted to forget Sana. He wanted to forget her, forget all the moments they had together, all the conversations, all the interactions. He was in pain, because how could he have imagined all of this. How could his mind have fooled him like that? His thoughts were chaotic in his brain. He felt like he was gonna choke from the proximity. He needed some space. He pulled away from Noora, who looked surprised at his swollen red eyes, as if he was holding back tears. “I-I’m sorry this wasn’t right” she began to ramble “I’m just trying to get over my ex. It’s a really complicated story. It wasn’t fair to get you invol-“ “It’s okay” he choked out with his voice low from a clump in his throat “I’m just trying to get over someone as well” he admitted. “I’m sorry, do you want to talk about it?” Noora said, he smiled painfully at her “No, I just need some room to think. I’m sorry Noora, I really am.” “Honestly it’s okay” she said. With that he left into the night almost feeling like he was in a trance, trying to get home and forget everything.

Here Chapter two of Yousefs POV. I tried to use the theories that most people have already come up with on tumblr and work them together, so it makes sense. I dont know if it does though. Also hope the dialogue isn’t too ooc, tried really hard to get the characters right, but meh. Please leave suggestions and thoughts, if you want this continued <3

PS: Honestly am I just a slow writer or does it take you guys this long to write a fic as well, lol? It took me multiple hours.

PS 2: Please, excuse the imperfections in language. I am by no means a professional writer and English is my third language. Also I am way too tired to reread and correct everything right about now, sorry xo

#skam #yousana #skam season 4 #skam season four #yousef acar #sana bakkoush #elias #balloon squad #boy squad #evak #mikeal #fanfiction #skam fanfic #fic #noora saetre #karaoke #syng

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rumpelsnorcack · 7 years

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Musings as we enter hiatus

So, we’re at the hiatus and I need to take stock, because that clip yesterday was pretty intense and filled with stuff. What with all the added material from the awards show, I feel like I haven’t really processed everything and it’s all still churning away in my head. So, dear people of tumblr, you get to help me sort this out, or rather you get to read the (probably convoluted and bizarre) result of me working this out. Also, I have only watched the clip once so I may be forgetting some things. Under a cut because, once again, I can’t be concise.

Let’s start with the things I am sure about, the things that made sense and which worked for me in the clip. First, the karaoke with Isak and Even. Literally the only thing I’ve reblogged from this clip is of this part because it’s the only part that doesn’t hurt my brain to sort through (or my heart to look at). We know from past context that Even is worried about his past getting out and Isak finding out about it. We also know that Isak is on the hunt for information, so we can assume that this will come to more of a head sometime in the future. However, for right now, they were very supportive of each other in this clip and I love that. I actually want to shake Even and tell him that this kid clearly isn’t going anywhere and it’ll be better for him to be open about all this, no matter how scary that is. Clearly, he hasn’t learned from his experiences last season. But I digress. This part was just purely good. Isak didn’t even hesitate to find out what had upset Even, he just went straight to him to support him and it was beautiful.

I also loved Sana in this scene; she was beautiful and radiant to start and her descent into sadness was beautifully done. Iman is an amazing actress, and all kudos to her for this role. It can’t be easy. I have some issues with the plots that have been put into place around her, but the character and the way she is acted is just beautiful. We see so much more of who she really is this season, and she has a softness and vulnerability that is easy to see behind the facade of ‘strong, take no shit, badass’ that she’s been wearing for the last few seasons. It came out a few times (in s2 with Noora, for instance, or in s3 when she apologised to Isak for things she’d said), but it’s here that it’s shining, and Iman is able to incorporate that so well into the Sana we’ve known all along. That’s not an easy thing to do and I think it’s been done so well, and it’s particularly showcased here as she goes through so many emotions in such a short time.

Other good things: Chris and Sana talking and reminiscing. I love Chris, and I love that she had this lovely moment with Sana. It’s a shame we don’t get to see more of her because of other commitments because this was always one of my favourite friendships in the girl squad, and I was looking forward to more of it in this season. Nevermind; we get this lovely moment so I’m willing to forgive :) Also, seeing the boys again. I know this isn’t their season, but it’s nice to catch up with them a bit more, and seeing them interact. And Eskild! Though I have issues with what he said about Elias, it was nice to see him again. I miss my lovable guru.

Things that I didn’t like. (Now, to clarify, because I’ve seen a lot of posts about writing quality etc; this is not about whether this is ‘lazy’ or ‘bad’ writing, but rather why this writing isn’t working for me right now. I don’t claim to be the arbiter of what is ‘good’ but I am the only one who can say what I like and don’t in writing.)

First, some of the hanging plots have been brought to a climax by introducing tropes that I hate with a passion. Things I cannot stand: love triangles there apparently just to create drama, girls being bitchy and backstabbing each other, and ‘shock value’ reveals that get explained away later (assuming that’s what happens; if it’s not explained it becomes even worse). I feel this way partly because I don’t like the tropes themselves, and partly because they are all so overused and I’m just so bored whenever any of them turn up, let alone all of them. And sadly, all three of these things are present here. Now, all these could be there in order to be subverted later, and if they are then I’ll be happy. But I’m wary, just because these issues are seldom dealt with in a way that makes me like them, and there have been similar things in previous seasons (even season 3, which I wholeheartedly love) that haven’t been dealt with well, imo.

Second, characters. Specifically Vilde. I’m very wary of what’s going on here. Vilde has been islamophobic and ignorant for most of the show’s run. But it had felt like she’d got over that, at least somewhat, in s2 and s3, and this feels like a regression in a lot of ways. Yes, she has been feeling left out and excluded by Sana, but there are more effective ways of dealing with that than going behind your friend’s back and gossiping about her, particularly when that gossip is islamophobic and turns the people you’re gossiping against that friend, her family and her religion. I’ve seen a lot of people talking about how she doesn’t know better and that she needs to be taught, and some even talking about how Sana should have taught her, as if it’s her job to train her friends not to be assholes. But the things is, Vilde has been told on multiple occasions how her behaviour affects those around her. By now she should have learned better. I understand that this is ‘realistic’ but it seems rather unfortunate that this group of girls who were so supportive of each other previously, are now at each other’s throats in the season dedicated to the muslim woc. I want to see supportive girls again, and I want Sana to have friends who support her as much as she supports them.

I understand that part of the message of this season is how much these things hurt, but there’s been no growth in this since the first episode. We know nothing more now than we did then, it’s just been repeated over and over. Yes, it’s come to a head, but it’s not satisfying for me. Mostly, I think, because all of this is external to Sana. In all the other seasons, the main’s issues were internal and they had to learn and grow. This time, everything is being done to Sana and I still have no real idea what it is that she needs to do. I had thought it was that she needed to learn to accept people like Yousef with different beliefs to her own, but now his character has been thrown into doubt and everything once again is external. It feels a lot like Sana has no agency in her own story. This is all compounded when she overhears the nasty girls gossiping about how she’s been kicked off the bus and making islamophobic comments about her while judging her simply for being who she is. Sana has done nothing to bring this on herself, or at least nothing that’s been signposted as ‘problematic’, so it’s hard to see what she might be able to do to sort this out. I’m sure it will be sorted out, but I’d find it more satisfying if Sana had an active role here rather than having outside forces working on her. Now, I know that’s a personal preference, but it’s a shame to me that this character in particular is the one for whom this is the plot. It’s like she’s just here to teach non-muslims a lesson, and that’s so … I don’t know. It feels like Sana had so much potential to her story, and yet it’s not being realised.

Finally, things that just confuse me: the fight, and whatever was going on with Yousef. As far as the fight goes, we have little to no idea who started it or why (and I’m certain it wasn’t the Bakka boys being homophobic, simply because the people we ‘learned’ that from are so horrific themselves), but I assume Isak is not the lily white innocent flower many people think he is. My biggest worry here is that something will happen, or has happened, to make me dislike his character, which again is personal so I’m just going to watch it warily from the sidelines as the season progresses. However, Yousef is another story. It feels cheap to me to have him be so loving and smiley last time we saw him, and so cold now particularly when he then goes on to kiss Sana’s current best friend. Last time we heard of him, Elias was waxing lyrical about what a great guy he is, and maybe that’s a hint that we’re supposed to still see him in a good light, but where’s the build up from that to this? At least with Even, the mental illness line was significant enough (and he reacted to it enough) that there was a clear pointer to what was going on. Here, there are several possibilities, but whatever the actual reason is it’s so well hidden that we can’t point to it as the defining thing. So, he seems inconsistent and out of character here. Yes, this will be cleared up and something will be there that we will be able to point to as the ‘aha’ but it’s not open yet. So, the moment at the end of the episode doesn’t feel earned to me, and it really feels like it’s been done this way for the sake of a big shock just before the hiatus. There was no build up through the episode, so it all hit with no warning in this last clip. No amount of clarifying in the second half of the season is going to change the way this feels right now. To me, anyway.

So, there we have it. I’ll be watching with interest and with hopes that this will all be undercut somehow, but that’s where I stand at the moment. I’m very wary of where things are at right now, but I’m willing to wait and see before making a final judgement.

#my ramblings

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waitineedaname · 7 years

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Syng

SkamFicWeek:

Day 4: rewrite/extend a canon scene

Pairing: Even/Isak

AO3

It shouldn’t have happened like this. It shouldn’t have happened at all.

Even had thought the guys were better off without him, especially after everything that had happened - after everything he’d done. Cutting off contact would be good for them, and finishing school at Nissen would be a fresh start for him.

It had worked so far. Eventually, they stopped texting him, and he’d deleted his social media so he never saw them on his feed. He avoided parties he knew they might appear at, and Sana was respectful enough to never bring it up.

It wasn’t really a fresh start; he couldn’t escape the gossip that followed him from Bakka. He knew how to turn a blind eye to it, and ignore the stares, the whispers. It hurt, but he could take it. He made a few friends who didn’t pay attention to the rumors, and he had Isak.

Oh, Isak. Isak with his quick wit and snarky attitude. Isak with his kind heart and patient nature. Isak with his loyal friends that adopted Even like he was family. Isak, who Even loved unconditionally and - somehow - loved him back just as much. Isak who he woke up next to every morning and made Even thank the universe over and over for.

Isak should never have been involved.

“Do you want to get some air?” Isak asked him as they stepped off the karaoke stage. Having him at his side had brought him down to earth - out of the rising tide of panic brought on by the sight of his old friends - but he was still a little shaky. Isak was right; some fresh air would do him good. He nodded and Isak took his hand, grounding him further. He told the guys not to worry about following them out, finish their beers, and then he was gently leading Even through the crowd and out the doors.

The cool springtime air felt good on Even’s face and he let out a breath he didn’t know he had been holding. Isak led him down to the benches and looked at him with those concerned eyes of his eyes. He looked like he wanted to say something, but he didn’t get the chance before someone else spoke.

“Even?” They both looked up and Even’s throat closed. Jogging over was none other than Mikael. Out of all of them, seeing him was the hardest. His kind brown eyes were fraught with worry and it pained Even to know that was because of him. “Even- Ya Allah, we’ve been trying to get ahold of you for ages!”

Even couldn’t answer. He didn’t know how to. Panic was building in his gut. It was hard to breathe.

“Are you okay?” Mikael started to reach to touch Even’s arm when suddenly there was someone else shoving himself between them.

“Leave him the fuck alone!” Isak shoved Mikael, who stumbled back a couple steps.

“I’m just trying to talk to him!”

“You’re getting in his face!” In some moments of weakness, he’d wondered what it would be like if his old best friend met his boyfriend. He hadn’t wanted to happen like this, with neither of them knowing the full story and tempers flaming. Isak pushed Mikael again, firm in the center of his chest, and Mikael fell backwards. “Just get the fuck away!”

“Hey!”

It was all happening in slow motion. He saw Mikael fall on his ass, unable to stop it from happening. He heard Elias’s voice from the Syng doorway and suddenly he was there, between Mikael and Isak, and Even couldn’t speak, couldn’t move, couldn’t do anything to keep them apart, and Elias’s fist connected with Isak’s face.

And then everything sped up. Even finally managed to unfreeze and bolt forward, catching Isak before he fell to the ground. He heard yelling, saw Isak’s friends rushing out to meet Elias and the guys, but he didn’t pay attention; Isak’s bloodied face and pained noises gave him a distraction.

“Shh,” He tried to soothe Isak, helping him to the bench and gently touching his cheek. Isak hissed in pain, flinching away. “Fuck, that looks bad.” Even glanced back at the throng of people and he felt sick when he saw Mahdi and Elias struggling back and forth, Jonas shoving Adam and landing hits where he could. It felt unreal, like a sick nightmare he’d wake up from any minute now. His past and his present meeting in the worst possible way.

He turned his attention back on Isak. He couldn’t think about it right now. He had to take care of Isak, or else the guilt swarming in his mind would overtake him.

“Where does it hurt?” His nose; his eye; his upper cheek. “Are you dizzy?” No; yes; it hurts, Ev. “We’ll get you to the emergency room. It’ll be okay, baby.”

The yelling increased in volume - Sana’s voice was there now, when did she get out here? - and then fell. He heard Isak’s friends approach, heard Mahdi ask if Isak was okay.

“We have to go to the emergency room.” Sana’s hand was on Isak’s cheek, but Even wouldn’t let himself focus on anything else right now. “Are you coming?”

They were; of course they were. They weren’t leaving their friend behind.

The tram ride was tense and quiet. The boys formed a protective shield around Isak, all buzzing with leftover adrenaline. Even sat at his side, rubbing his back in soothing circles and whispering comforts. Isak curled into his side and was silent except for occasional hisses of pain when he moved his face wrong and disturbed the blossoming injuries on his face.

(Even remembered for a moment the tram ride they shared so many months ago. The awkward conversation, shying away from each other, compared to how Isak’s hand was now clasped in his, his face curled into Even’s neck. Things were so much better now. And yet, they were also so much worse.)

It didn’t take long for them to get to the hospital and they sat in the waiting room for next to no time before a nurse was leading Isak away to get checked out.

Even sat hunched over, his knee bouncing a mile a minute. He could feel Jonas, Magnus, and Mahdi’s eyes on him, could feel their silent questions, but he didn’t look up. It was getting hard to keep down the guilt and anxiety threatening to burst out of his chest.

Isak was brought out not too long after he was brought in. He had a concussion - a mild one - but none of the injuries were serious. He’d have a black eye and should probably not go to school this week, here’s a note to send the principal, and here’s some pain medication, he’ll be sure to have a headache so avoid bright lights and ice it, and are you sure you boys don’t want to press charges?

No; they were sure; thank you for your help.

The boys stuck with them on their way home. Even’s not sure how it happened, but before he knew it, he was sitting on his bed and passing Isak an ice pack, and his apartment was occupied by three more people than usual.

Isak took the ice pack with a mumbled ‘thank you’ and pressed it to his eye. The hospital had cleaned up the bloody parts, but the swelling was quickly becoming obvious. He looked at him, one visible green eye sharp with worry.

“Who were those guys?” Mahdi spoke up from the table.

“That was Mikael, right? From Bakka?” Isak added. Even’s breath hitched and he looked down at his lap, nodding softly. “Even, what happened with you guys?”

Even was silent. He wasn’t sure how to start.

“We can leave, you know.” Magnus piped up. His voice had the oddly caring tone it took on when the situations required him to actually be serious. If he were feeling better, Even would smile. The others might tease him, but Even was really glad Isak was friends with Magnus. He was a good person. “In case you don’t want to say it in front of us. We’d understand.”

Jonas and Mahdi murmured their agreement.

“Or… if now isn’t the right time, it’s okay.” Isak reached over and squeezed his hand. That felt wrong; Isak was the one with the black eye and concussion; Even should be comforting him, not the other way around. “Whenever you’re ready.”

Even let out a long breath. No. It was now or never.

“I’ve… known these guys for a long time. Ever since we were kids, really. Elias-” Even looked up at Isak for a moment. “-the one who hit you, he’s Sana’s brother.”

“Asshole.” Mahdi suggested and Even laughed dryly.

“No, he’s a great guy actually. They all are. They’re really good people. He probably only hit you because he saw you push Mikael.” Even fell silent again, trying to figure out how to word the next part. Everyone else was silent, waiting until he was ready. Isak squeezed his hand gently. “I… I wasn’t diagnosed until last spring. They thought maybe I had ADHD or depression before then. I hadn’t had a really big episode until last year.

“I…” Even licked his lips and took a deep breath before continuing. “I did a lot of really out there stuff. It was just snowballing and I didn’t know what was going on. I’d… I’d been questioning my sexuality a lot. No one knew, but it was at the front of my mind all the time. And Mikael-” He smiled weakly. “Mikael was my best friend. He was funny and smart and handsome and I-” He could feel Isak tense beside him. “I kissed him.”

He closed his eyes tightly as memories of the panic in Mikael’s face, of how he’d shoved him off of him and asked him what the fuck he was doing flashed through his mind.

“That was a really bad idea.” To say the least. “He got upset with me- not angry, but freaked out. It kind of came out of nowhere.” He picked at a loose thread in his jeans, unable to look up at everyone in the room. “Mikael is Muslim, so to my manic mind, that’s why he was pushing me away. I- I got a Quran and began memorizing everything I could.” Isak’s fingers threaded through his own and gave him the courage to keep going. “I found all the parts about being gay and how, because I liked men, I would be going to Hell.”

Isak scooted a tiny bit closer to him, putting Even’s hand between both of his own.

“I posted them everywhere. All over my Facebook, all over the revue wall, all over Instagram. Normally when I’m manic, it’s a lot of intense happiness. This time, it was the worst despair I’d ever felt. And when I crashed, it was even worse. When I was depressed, I tried to-” The words stuck in his throat. “...They diagnosed me with bipolar 1 disorder at the hospital. I dropped out of Bakka. I haven’t talked to the guys since.”

The room was silent. He could hear cars outside and the gentle hum of the building’s air unit. And then Isak pulled him closer, wrapping him into his arms. Even folded against his chest, feeling like he’d just performed some great exertion, and he felt Isak kiss the top of his head.

“Thank you for telling me.” Isak whispered into his hair. Even curled his fingers into his flannel. He smelled like sweat and beer and blood and his deodorant and the soap Even picked out because Isak doesn’t know how to shop for that kind of thing. It was comforting.

“...I need to talk to them.” He said after several minutes of silence. Isak’s fingers were combing through his hair.

“Yeah? Are you sure?”

“Yeah.” He was sure. Things were bad that night, but they were better than they were a year before. He was better than he was a year before. He was in the arms of his boyfriend, in the apartment they shared, surrounded by fiercely loyal friends who hadn’t even known him half a year but still treated him like a brother. Things were better.

And it was time to talk to the boys.

#skamficweek #skam fic week #skam #even bech næsheim #isak valtersen #jonas noah vasquez #magnus fossbakken #mahdi disi #mikael øverlie boukhal #elias bakkoush #my writing #okay to reblog

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iffeelscouldkill · 5 years

Text

it only means there is no room for you to fall

A/N: I wrote a fic! This very fun, self-indulgent ficlet helped me get out of a bit of a fic-writing rut that I’ve been stuck in for the past month or so, and I loved writing it. I wrote a longer ramble about it in my notes on AO3, but basically, it’s a post-Episode-5/alternate-Episode-6 fic in which Sana talks Violet through a panic attack after Elion, and then pining ensues between Sana, Violet and Arkady. But don’t worry, it ends in cuddles <3

Content note: This fic contains a description of a panic attack - not from the perspective of the POV character (that is to say, outsider POV) - quite early on. If you’d like to skip over that section, it starts about a dozen paragraphs in with the line “It’s Sana. Are you all right?” and ends with “Eventually, Violet’s breathing slows and quiets.”

Cross-posted to AO3

After the complete and unmitigated disaster that is Elion, Sana is angrier that she can remember being in a long time.

She’s angry at not having been able to do more to protect Violet, Brian and Arkady from what just happened. She’s angry at the creeping certainty that they’ve been sold out, and at what that must mean. And she’s furious at the Regime for causing all of this, for hounding her and her crew across the galaxy, never giving them a moment to rest.

Because she’s the Captain and the crew are depending on her to get them through this, she pushes the anger down, compressing it into a tiny ball, and does what needs to be done. She helps Arkady dump the body of the unfortunate guard at the Capitol Landfill; there’s a hollow look in the other woman’s eyes that Sana hasn’t seen in years, and had hoped she wouldn’t see again. After they get back to the ship, she watches Arkady disappear into the air vents, and tells Krejjh to chart a course for Rosalind.

As she walks through the ship’s corridors, Sana fans herself with her hand. Is she imagining things, or is it warm in here? Her train of thought is cut short as she runs into Brian, who is humming to himself, looking perfectly at ease. Sometimes she thanks God – well, maybe not God, but the universe, or fate – for Brian and Krejjh, and their unwavering positivity at times like these.

“Hey, Captain. Anything more I can do to help?” Brian asks. “Violet and I got the cargo all stowed away.”

“Thanks, Brian. Nothing much at the moment, but if you can help Krejjh keep an eye on the rearview in the cockpit for the next hour, that would be appreciated,” says Sana. “Is Violet around?”

“Pretty sure she went back to her room,” Brian says. “She was starting to look kind of pale and shaky, so I told her I could finish up on my own. I think she went to go lie down.”

“Thanks, Brian,” says Sana. Brian gives her a salute and heads off in the direction of the cockpit.

Sana worries her lips together, thinking about what Violet just went through. She knows that some people – Arkady being a prime example – prefer to be left alone and not bothered with company when they’re upset. But she has a hunch that Violet would benefit from some company right now.

Her mind made up, she walks along the corridor to the other woman’s room and knocks on the door. “Violet?” she calls gently. “I just wanted to check that you’re okay.”

There’s no answer, but the light around the button next to Violet’s door is green, so it’s not locked. Sana hesitates, wondering what the odds are of Violet having fallen asleep this quickly, and then knocks again. “Violet?” she calls, a bit louder. “It’s Sana. Are you all right?”

She listens, and thinks that she hears ragged breathing coming from the other side of the door. Okay then. Sana puts on her Captain Voice (Arkady calls it her Mom Voice) and calls through the door, “Violet, if I don’t hear anything from you in the next few seconds, I’m coming in, okay?”

There’s a pause, then she hears Violet call, very faintly, “Come in.”

Sana presses the button, and the door slides open to reveal Violet sitting on her bed, clutching onto a pillow for dear life. She’s shaking all over and taking uneven, panicked breaths in, her pupils dilated. Sana rushes forward, catching up Violet’s hands without thinking about it and looking into the other woman’s eyes. “Violet. Focus on me,” she says, speaking as evenly and calmly as she can. “You’re safe. We’re all safe. No-one got hurt.”

“Sana-” Violet tries, her breaths becoming faster and sharper. She grips Sana’s hands tightly, her skin clammy and cold.

“Don’t try to talk, just breathe, Violet,” says Sana, squeezing Violet’s hands. “Breathe with me.” She starts taking slow, deep breaths in and out.

For what feels like an age, Violet’s panicked breathing pattern doesn’t change, and Sana wonders if she’s just making things worse with her presence. Then, slowly, she notices Violet’s breaths in getting longer, and her breaths out becoming slower and more even.

“Good. That’s good,” she murmurs, rubbing soothing circles on the backs of Violet’s hands with her thumbs.

Eventually, Violet’s breathing slows and quiets. Once she’s sure that the danger has passed, Sana moves to sit beside her on the bed.

“Thank you,” Violet says quietly, hoarsely. Then, “I’m sorry.”

“You have nothing to apologise for,” Sana says immediately. “You went through an unbelievably stressful situation and managed to stay totally calm the whole time. You did amazingly. But it’s okay to be…”

“A total mess afterwards?” Violet asks, wryly.

“I was gonna go with ‘shaky’,” Sana replies, smiling. “The point is, don’t feel bad about it.”

“But… all of the rest of you are so calm and collected when dealing with this kind of situation,” Violet says, quietly. “And here I am just… having panic attacks-”

“Hey,” Sana says, squeezing Violet’s arm, not wanting to let her go any further with that train of thought. “First of all, we’ve had a lot of practice in dealing with that kind of thing. We didn’t develop a whole system of colour codes from nowhere. And secondly, you do not want to see how hard my hands were gripping the steering wheel when Arkady and I drove back from meeting the Fowleys. I think they’re still shaking.” She holds her hands out to show Violet. They are trembling slightly, though in reality it’s more due to the adrenaline of talking Violet down from her panic attack, along with her suppressed anger over everything that’s happened.

Violet laughs slightly (so, mission accomplished) and leans into Sana a little. It feels natural for Sana to put an arm around her, so she does. She’s a tactile person, but keenly aware of other people’s boundaries, and usually prefers to let them initiate contact. Violet, to Sana’s slight surprise, rests her head against Sana’s shoulder. Sana looks down at Violet’s dark hair and thinks about pressing a kiss to the top of her head. Instead, she holds Violet just a little bit tighter.

What started as a brief spark of attraction the first time she saw Violet laugh – startled, when Sana offered her a cup of moonshine that she mistook for a cup of tea – that Sana was sure would die down in a couple of days has grown and grown, into a mixture of attraction, respect and fondness that some days feels too much to contain. Sana has watched Violet devote herself to the hunt for the other Violet Liu, take being thrown into the midst of a crew of renegade smugglers in her stride, and drastically reconsider her entire worldview. She’s resilient, brave, funny and insightful. Also, Sana will admit to having always had a thing for smart women.

Unfortunately, so does Arkady. Sana has seen the way she looks at Violet (and vice versa), and she doesn’t intend to stand in the way of that. Not when Arkady has had so, so few good things in her life to call her own.

Sana used to be on the receiving end of those looks, once upon a time. But she’d been too afraid to act on them, back when it was just the two of them, in case it all went south and they both lost the only person they could really depend on. She told herself she’d rather have a best friend who had her back than a romance that might not last, and she almost believed it.

It still hurt a little when she realised that, at some point, Arkady had moved on from her. But if it has to be anyone, she’s glad it’s Violet. The two of them go well together.

Sana has her crew; she doesn’t need any more than that.

“Um… Have you seen Arkady since we left Elion?” Violet asks, as if she’s somehow picked up on Sana’s thoughts.

“Yeah, uh…” Sana tries to think what answer to give. She doesn’t want to lie to Violet, but she isn’t sure when Arkady plans on coming down from the vents. “She’s around. I think she just needed to… regroup for a bit.”

“Oh, yeah. Okay.” Violet sounds a little resigned. Sana waits for her to say or ask something more about Arkady, but instead she says, “Is it just me, or is it pretty warm in here? – I mean, not ‘me’ in the sense of that cheesy joke, but uh, in the sense that I can’t tell if I’m just-”

Hiding a smile, Sana takes pity on Violet and cuts her off. “No, it’s definitely not just you, I’ve been feeling it too. I may need to take a look at our temperature reg.” Violet tenses, as if about to pull away. “If you need to go do that now, I can-”

“No, it’s fine, it’ll probably start working again on its own,” Sana assures her, and Violet relaxes back against her side. “Some of our equipment is a bit temperamental.” “Temperamental?” asks Violet, with a tiny smirk.

“Oof. Bad pun,” Sana says, smiling. “If it’s still acting up in a few hours, then I’ll give it a closer look. And pray that we have the parts to fix it.”

Violet winces. “Right. And if we don’t?”

“I’ll cross that bridge if we come to it.” Worst case scenario, Sana could probably jury-rig something. They would just need to make sure they picked up the right parts on Rosalind.

Violet nods and sits up. Sana’s side feels suddenly cold.

“Well, still, I shouldn’t keep you any longer - I’m sure you have plenty of more important things that need your attention.” “My number one priority is always the wellbeing of my crew,” Sana says firmly. “Anything else can wait. Are you sure you’re okay?”

“Yeah. I’m.. I’ll be fine, Captain,” says Violet with a small smile. “Really.”

“You know you can call me Sana if you want to,” Sana finds herself saying. She’s not sure why; the others all call her “Captain” and “Sana” interchangeably, but she doesn’t think she’s heard Violet use her name yet. Maybe she just wants to hear it once.

Violet gives her a full smile, and it’s devastating. “Thank you, Sana.”

—

The temperature reg does not start working again on its own, and the next six hours are hellish as temperatures slowly and steadily climb inside the ship. Despite Sana’s best efforts, it’s past two in the morning by the time the temperature reg is finally fixed. Arkady spends as much of that time as she can bear lurking in the air vents, avoiding Violet. Finally, when she thinks the stuffy recycled air might be preventing oxygen from getting to her brain and she’s sick of playing back Violet’s horrified expression on a constant loop, she eases herself down and heads for the cockpit.

She winds up talking to Krejjh about the war. It’s been on her mind ever since they ran into Eejhgreb and Krejjh recounted the tale of how – and why – they deserted the military. Arkady has her own memories of that night, but they’re bittersweet. She and her unit had celebrated all through the night, but lurking under it was a fear much greater than anything Arkady had felt during the war. Of what would happen when they no longer had a common cause.

Sana would probably say the conversation has been a “long time coming”, that it’s good for Arkady to get it all out. But all it does is make Arkady feel more frustrated and angry over things that happened years ago. All she’s ever wanted is to put her past behind her.

After they’ve exhausted that topic, as Arkady digs into Krejjh’s stash of fruit jerky, Krejjh jokingly changes the subject. “Speaking of which… do you want some love advice?”

“No,” Arkady says flatly.

“Cripes, trying to lighten the mood a little here, First Mate Patel,” Krejjh says, holding up one of their pairs of hands. “Y’sure?”

“Krejjh, remember when you and Brian weren’t officially together yet?” Arkady reminds them. “And he kept asking you to dinner, and you kept inviting the rest of the crew?” God, that was a shitshow. A very funny shitshow, but by the end of it even Arkady was feeling sorry for Jeeter. All that time spent studying mediaeval Dwarnian hadn’t given him a single clue about Dwarnian romantic customs.

“Yeah, romantic tandem eating is not as universal as you guys think it is,” Krejjh says.

“Well, I don’t need your advice.” God, nothing says ‘romantically incompetent’ like taking love advice from a purple space alien.

Krejjh, of course, persists. “Just sayin’, if y’like someone, maybe don’t spend all your time hiding from them.”

“I’m not being bashful, Krejjh,” says Arkady shortly. “I all but murdered someone in front of her.”

She looks up to find Krejjh giving her an odd smile. “I wasn’t just talkin’ about Science Officer Liu,” Krejjh says.

Arkady stares at them. “What are you talking about?”

Krejjh leans back a little in the pilot’s chair, seeming to look up and out at the stars. “Ya know, one of the other human romantic customs I’ve never understood is why relationships are supposed to be limited to just two people. I guess it’s a hold-over from the whole gender binary thing, but from what I can tell, even most humans don’t think that’s important any more. So why keep limiting yourselves?”

Arkady swallows, her throat suddenly dry. “We do have polyamorous relationships too,” she points out. “They’re not even that unusual these days, but legally there still isn’t that much recognition. A lot of human society is still geared around two-person relationships. And a lot of people still… prefer them.”

“That sounds like a pretty big assumption,” Krejjh counters. “Why not just talk to ‘em? See how they feel about it? What’ve you got to lose?”

Arkady raises an eyebrow. “Okay, assuming we’re talking about me and Liu and Tripathi here and not about you and Jeeter inviting me to some weird interspecies ménage-à-trois…”

Krejjh laughs. “First Mate Patel, I am wounded that you would reject our advances like this.” They put a hand on their chest, a distinctly human gesture that Krejjh has picked up – Dwarnians don’t have a heart in the middle of their chests in the way that humans do.

Arkady snorts, but then becomes serious again, looking down at her lap and toying with the half-open pack of fruit jerky. Now that they’ve broached the topic, she might as well keep going. She could have pretended that they were still speaking hypothetically, or discussing human social conventions, but all of a sudden she’s too tired to keep dancing around things.

“What do I have to lose? One of the best friendships I’ve ever had, with one of the only people I can count on to always have my back,” she says. “And at the same time… someone that I’m only just getting to know, who is also the first people I’ve felt any kind of connection with since…” Since Sana, she doesn’t say.

Arkady can feel Krejjh’s eyes on her, but doesn’t look up for fear of seeing pity in them. “Besides which, Krejjh, my life just doesn’t work that way. I don’t get things that I want – it’s a well-established fact. I’ve had a long time to come to terms with it.”

“That doesn’t sound fair at all,” Krejjh says quietly.

“Yeah, well, life isn’t fair,” Arkady replies. She meets Krejjh’s gaze defiantly, but instead of pity, all she sees is empathy.

Silence falls between them, and Arkady figures that as the person who brought the mood back down again, she should be the one to lighten it this time. But while she’s casting about for another change of topic, Krejjh says,

“Where has Crewman Jeeter got to with that ice? I can’t think who he could be talking to down there.”

Arkady gives Krejjh a suspicious look, not trusting their casual tone. “What, are you implying that-”

“Krrrejjh to all crew,” Krejjh sing-songs, activating their comm. “Folks, this is your pilot speaking. I’ve got a very important announcement to make to the whole crew.”

Arkady stiffens in alarm. “Krejjh, what are you doing?” she hisses.

“Boy am I embarrassed,” Krejjh goes on, in a rueful tone, “but I seem to have misplaced something important. My fiancé? Crewman Jeeter? Along with a cup of ice he totally still owes me? Gonna advise that you sit tight as I dispatch our very own First Mate Patel to the kitchen to solve this little mystery. So, keep an eye out for that, crew, and plan accordingly. Krejjh out.”

Krejjh meets Arkady’s unimpressed stare with a smug look. “Maybe you can’t have everything, but you can at least go talk to Science Officer Liu,” they point out. “Can’t hide from her forever. You might as well clear the air.”

Arkady rolls her eyes and reluctantly makes for the door of the cockpit. “Fine, but if it’s a disaster? I’m officially blaming you.”

—

It’s not a disaster. Although Arkady would never, ever admit it to anyone, least of all Krejjh themself, Krejjh was right. After they’ve got past the horrible first five minutes of what Violet would call “puking it all out”, things get… better. Violet pours them both a cup of kai shui (Mandarin for boiled water – something Violet says her Chinese grandparents drank back on Earth) because they’re out of tea, and they talk properly for the first time since Violet came abroad the Rumor. And okay, maybe Arkady had jumped to a few too many conclusions based on those fraught early interactions.

She’d still liked Violet in spite of what she thought was Violet’s hero worship of the regime, but she’d been fighting it down, convinced that it was just a front that Violet was putting on because she had to, that she’d be shot of them tomorrow if she was given the chance to clear her name and make a clean getaway. It had made it much easier to ignore the feelings flaring in her chest, the way that Violet’s admiration inexplicably lifted her mood, the guilt that she felt over having tricked and lied to her.

Now that she’s come to terms with the fact that she’d misjudged Violet (or at least, judged her too quickly), those feelings have come rushing back in full force. Arkady tries to will her frantically hammering heart to calm down at Violet’s gently affectionate tone as she says,

“Okay, I’m not going to keep arguing with you, because I don’t see us getting anywhere on this tonight, and I’m not even going to try to thank you again for saving my life-” here, a small smile that threatens to give Arkady an aneurysm “-but. For what it’s worth? Except for the times it really does seem like we’re all about to die, living on this ship is the safest I’ve felt since before the war.”

“Well, Violet,” Arkady begins after a beat of trying to find her voice. “That’s very disturbing!” She utterly fails to keep an answering smile off her own face.

“Then why are you smiling?”

“Sometimes I smile! Y’know, every now and then.”

“Good to know,” Violet teases. Arkady mentally composes an epitaph: Here lies Arkady Patel, slain by a cute girl flirting with her. She hopes she’s not blushing as hard as she thinks she is.

An expectant silence falls between them, and Arkady reaches for the first thing she can think of to fill it. “Look, I’m… sorry for vanishing on you right after we left Elion,” she blurts out. Violet gives her a quizzical look, but Arkady has been feeling worse and worse about disappearing and avoiding Violet in the wake of what happened. Sure, she’d been feeling like shit about killing that guard, and part of that had been down to the look on Violet’s face, a look that had seemed to confirm every one of her fears about how Violet saw them. Saw Arkady.

She hadn’t been thinking about what the aftermath of those events would have been like for Violet. How she’d managed to suppress all her panic and terror, remain calm, act and improvise in the face of mortal danger – only to get caught and believe she was about to die. Again. Finding out that Violet has an anxiety disorder only compounds Arkady’s guilt.

“I wasn’t thinking about… you did really well with the, uh. Setting aside your panic thing. But I know it was hard for you, and then you literally thought that you were about to die again when everything went south…” Arkady’s rambling, and she really wishes she could stop. “I just mean, I could have stuck around. To make sure you were okay.”

“It’s okay,” Violet says quickly. “I mean, you’d just – been responsible for getting us out of a really bad situation-”

Arkady snorts. “If that’s what you want to call bludgeoning a guy over the head-”

“-and then I, well, kind of freaked out,” Violet continues over her. “So I don’t blame you for needing some space.” She pauses, and smiles a little. “Actually, the Captain – Sana – came to find me. To make sure I was all right.”

“Really?” Arkady asks, feeling a lurch in her stomach like she’s missed a step. She supposes it must be jealousy, but she’s not sure who she’s jealous of.

“Yeah.” Violet has a soft, admiring look in her eyes that Arkady recognises all too well, though she stopped gazing starry-eyed at Sana years ago, wanting the other woman to see her as more than just a naïve kid. “She just talked with me, calmed me down, and then… sat with me until she was completely sure I was okay. She didn’t once act like she had somewhere else to be.”

Arkady swallows. “Yeah, that’s the Captain for you. She’s one hundred percent genuine with how much she cares.”

“And then she must have gone straight on from sitting with me to her shift in the cockpit, and then to fixing the temperature reg,” Violet goes on. “Brian said she was pretty worn out… Does she ever take time for herself?”

Arkady snorts. “It’s a battle. She can’t rest until she makes sure that everyone on the ship feels loved and appreciated.” She’s aiming for snark, but the words come out fonder than she intends them to. “Trust me, I’ve tried to get her to take more breaks. She acts upbeat, but I think things get to her more than she lets on.”

Violet looks thoughtful. “Maybe next time we should try together.”

She meets Arkady’s eyes, and gives her the tiniest of smiles, just a quirk of the lips, and her eyes are so knowing, and Arkady feels it again, that missed-a-step lurch in her stomach like she’s taken a leap into the unknown. This time, she doesn’t think it’s jealousy.

“She might listen to both of us,” Violet finishes.

“I- uh- sure, yeah, we should. Do that,” Arkady stammers. Jesus. Tonight is not her finest night for dignity, but somehow she finds herself not caring as much as she normally would.

Violet smiles fully and looks away, down at the floor, her cheeks red. “Cool. Great. Um, listen, on a different topic, there’s something that I’ve been meaning to tell you – well, more like show you…”

—

Sana is having a no-good, very bad night.

As if having to run for their lives on Elion and barely making it out hadn’t been enough, the broken temperature reg had stubbornly resisted Sana’s attempts to fix it. She’d sworn and sweated in the engine room as the temperature climbed steadily higher, and eventually managed to improvise a solution with some spare fuse wire and a viciously-applied screwdriver. (She’ll have to switch it out for a more permanent fix after they get some proper supplies, but for now, it’ll do).

It’s coming up on 3 a.m. and she’s hot, irritable and exhausted, but instead of being able to get any kind of rest, Sana has had to endure a tense and difficult call with Campbell that resulted in her cutting off contact with one of their longest-standing and most reliable customers, and leaving Sana with the nagging feeling that she’s made a serious error in judgement. But she hasn’t even had the chance to process that, because minutes after Campbell severed the connection, Ricky Q rose up like an elitist, blackmailing spectre from the depths of her and Arkady’s shared past to make threats against Sana’s crew.

Something about it doesn’t fit right, and she’s convinced that there’s more to what’s happening than Ricky Q’s “middleman” story. Unfortunately, the only way she can know what it is is to play along for now.

Sana can feel a headache building as she practices how she’s going to sell the idea of changing course for Hafizah to the crew. It only gets worse when, in the middle of making the case to Brian and Krejjh, Violet and Arkady enter the cockpit, full of shared excitement about some epiphany they’ve had. They’re standing closer together than usual, shoulders brushing, and as badly as Sana wants to be happy for them, she just can’t deal with this right now.

“So, me and Violet were talking about that alien robot swarm cloud, and she said-” Arkady begins.

“Arkady, is this pressing?” Sana interrupts tiredly.

“It could be,” Violet puts in.

“Is the swarm outside the ship right now, knocking on the door, trying to get in?”

“No, but we think we might’ve found a possible connection-”

“You think you might’ve found a possible connection,” Sana repeats, placing sceptical emphasis on all of the relevant words. She knows she’s going to feel bad about her tone later, that normally she’d be in favour of Arkady and Violet devising theories and following whatever lead they can, but her headache is intensifying and she’s just done with everything tonight. “Have we made any progress on tracking down the other Violet Liu? Are we any closer to solving Alvy’s mystery? Given how we changed our entire course for this, I’d love to get past speculation and into… anything else.”

She sees Violet’s face fall, hurt flashing across it at the implication that the detour to rescue her had been a burden for the Rumor crew. Sana will feel terrible about that later, too.

“Look. We all liked Campbell,” Arkady says gently (for her). “But when somebody turns on us because we missed an appointment? Their loyalty was never worth shit.”

Arkady clearly believes that Sana’s terrible mood is due to Campbell’s probable betrayal, and it’s far easier to let her go on believing it than to go anywhere near the truth, so Sana doesn’t correct her. “I appreciate that. But honestly, it’s just – been a long couple of days, and it’s almost 3 a.m., and I don’t see why this can’t wait until tomorrow?” She injects a pleading note into the last syllable, in a last-ditch attempt to soften things.

“Yeah. Of course,” Violet says.

“Captain, if there’s anything we can do-” begins Arkady.

“Don’t worry, I’ll let you know,” she promises them, already turning to leave the cockpit. As a result, she misses the look of concern that passes between Arkady and Violet, Violet’s raised eyebrows, and Arkady’s slight nod. “Krejjh, I’ll update you on those coordinates as soon as I’m able to.”

“Aye-aye, Captain.”

Finally alone, Sana trudges down the corridor to her room, goes in, and presses the button to lock the door behind her. She flops face-down onto her bunk with a groan.

“Fucking IGR. Fucking Ricky Q,” she mumbles into her pillow.

Barely a few minutes later, there’s a knock at her door, polite but firm. Sana raises her head angrily, and only just manages to clamp down on her urge to shout, “Go away!” She knows that being a captain is a full-time job and that the others depend on her, but damn it, can’t she rest for just a few hours?

“Who is it?”

“It’s me, Captain,” comes Arkady’s voice. Sana frowns. Arkady wouldn’t bother her in her room unless it was important, but…

“Kady, seriously, whatever it is, can it wait?” she asks. “I’m really just… I really need to crash right now.”

There’s a pause, and Sana thinks that her best friend is going to relent, but then her voice comes back, insistent: “This will only take a minute. I promise.”

Sana sighs heavily and sits up, brushing her hair out of her face. At least with Arkady she doesn’t have to be as put-together as she does for the others, but she also doesn’t want Arkady to start asking questions about what exactly has got to her so badly. She walks over to the door and presses the button to open it. “What do you need?”

Arkady stares at her for a few seconds, almost as if sizing her up, and then very slowly and stiffly pulls her into a hug.

“K-Kady?” says Sana, shocked. Arkady doesn’t do hugs unless she’s really, really drunk. “What are you doing?”

“Giving you a hug.” At least the flat, snarky, I’m-stating-an-obvious-fact tone is one hundred percent in character.

After a moment, Arkady lets go. That’s when Sana spots the other person standing slightly apologetically behind her. “Violet? What are you doing here?”

“Also giving you a hug,” says Violet a little shyly. “If that’s okay.”

She waits for a second, and when Sana doesn’t resist, she wraps Sana up in a warm, gentle hug. It’s a little more satisfying than Arkady’s stiff embrace, though Sana was touched by that, in a bewildered kind of way. Violet is very good at giving hugs; she squeezes just enough to make the hugged person feel cared for, but not so much that it becomes suffocating. After a few seconds, Sana hugs her back, feeling a little guilty for taking as much pleasure in it as she does. The only real downside is that some of Violet’s hair is tickling her nose.

Violet lets go after a few minutes, and Sana tries to summon up a breezy dismissal, or better yet, to ask just what exactly is going on, but the words get stuck in her throat.

“Captain,” Arkady begins. “Is something going on? Something you’re not telling us about?”

“Whatever it is… we want to help you,” Violet puts in. “You don’t have to deal with everything on your own.”

“I…”

I’m fine, Sana wants to say. Needs to say. But her throat is closing up, and she’s so, so tired. She’s been holding it together by a thread, and suddenly, that thread is fraying. She squeezes her eyes shut against the suddenly-spinning room. Damn it, don’t let me do this, not now…

“Okay,” she hears Arkady say, and then there’s a tug on her hand, leading her into her own room. Sana goes. She hears the door swish shut behind them and the lock engage.

Sana follows the pull of Arkady’s hand down onto her bunk. Someone is gently taking off her shoes. She lies down and feels warm, strong arms around her, holding her together. Violet slips in on Sana’s other side, a reassuring presence at her back.

Sana blinks and looks into Arkady’s dark eyes. “I don’t understand what’s happening here,” she mumbles.

“We’ll figure it out in the morning,” Arkady tells her.

Violet slides an arm around Sana’s waist. “Go to sleep, Captain,” she says, and so Sana does.

#TSCOSI #The Strange Case of Starship Iris #Sana Tripathi #Arkady Patel #Violet Liu #femslash #just fluff and cuddles and some pining thrown in #this was actually meant to be much shorter but someone (ARKADY) insisted on pining longer than I expected #in all seriousness though I can't blame her #Krejjh is a matchmaker in every timeline #also hugs for Sana plz #this is a fix-it of sorts for Episode 6 in which Violet doesn't bring up the samples right away #and Sana gets the love and support she deserves in the midst of all that ugh #also I have a lot of headcanons about Violet's little smiles okay #I just realised I put them in like... every fic #but she definitely has a cute smile #Tripateliu #Sana/Arkady/Violet #I realised that I originally used two different ship tags for this and the epilogue SMH #but ghostsquidandspacebees came up with the perfect OT3 ship name!

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evakuality · 5 years

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Episode eight: a difficult one in many ways. But I did my best now that we’re moving into different territory for each of them and their personality differences are coming out more. It’s much harder now to talk about each at the same time.

Previous episodes can be found here:

episode one episode two episode three episode four

episode five episode six episode seven

One of the major ways in which these characters and their experiences differ in this episode is that Isak gets his fluffy, giddy, delighted ‘morning after’ scene here rather than later as Matteo does. What’s interesting about that is that Isak needs it now, I think. He’s been feeling very uncomfortable and worried about how Even sees him and feels about their relationship. Even has gone back to Sonja in the past and that insecurity is still hanging over Isak. So when he wakes, alone, he assumes the worst, thinks that Even has left again. He’s overwhelmed when instead he finds Even in his kitchen being friendly with his flatmates. That Even is so easy in kissing him in front of them also freezes him, and we see him carefully watching what the others might think. He remains wary, in fact, until they’re alone and even then it’s not til he says his piece about Sonja that he really relaxes. This is where he really comes into his own in terms of being the one to start initiating things and being confronting on certain issues. It was him who kissed Even the previous night, and now it’s him who refuses to accept ‘fuck Sonja’ as an acceptable answer to his implied question: what does this mean and where does Sonja fit into it? Even so, it takes him a while to get the courage to bring it up. This relationship, despite the sex the previous night, is fragile and he feels vulnerable. So he needs this, I think. First, the more serious moment where they discuss never having felt like this before and the reassurance that brings, and then the lighthearted, fun stuff after to cement that. But he’s still living in something of his fantasy world, I think. ‘Man of my life’ is such a big, sweeping, romantic notion and it still fits with that somewhat dreamy and otherworldly sense Isak has of what’s going on here. The hot mysterious, cool, amazing guy is into him and they’re together now and it’s all amazing. This is also, however, the start of Even becoming more real and more human. He’s a dork, he dances to cheesy pop music etc which doesn’t fit with Isak’s ‘man of my life’ imagery and yet he’s charmed anyway.

Matteo’s version is a much different affair. Yes, they wake on the morning after their reunion and yes there’s a discussion but it’s not fluffy and joyful and unlike Isak, Matteo is left in no doubt as to what has been holding David back for so long. We see again just how much Matteo wants to shower David with all the affection that’s in his heart. He can’t stop touching him, cuddling him, wanting to be as close as he can to him. So when he wakes again and thinks David’s about to run away he gets quite upset and that comes out in aggression (as I said before, he’s a more aggressive character than Isak). His ‘what, you’re going to piss off again?’ is a similar comment to Isak’s ‘I thought you’d left’ but where Isak is hesitant and very careful with how he words that, Matteo just spits it out. He’s sick of this stuff, of the drawings and those connections when David keeps this small distance and looks like he’s going to be flighty again. He meant what he said last night, basically: if you’re not into it then stop trying to connect with me. It’s essentially the same as what Isak says, but it’s much more ‘take it or leave it’ -- he goes to the bed and sits after this, a clear indication for David that he can leave if he wants but this is it. That message is received loud and clear and so David chooses to speak out rather than lose Matteo. And so we get Matteo trying to work it out and understand it, but finding it all quite overwhelming. Before Hans interrupts he’s engaged in the conversation and curious, asks a few questions. But afterwards he’s shut down. It’s not that the new knowledge itself is difficult for him; he actually seemed to take that in stride fairly easily. It’s more that ‘what does it mean’ comes more to the fore after that bursting of their little bubble and so he’s going into his own head and isn’t in a space where he can give David what he needs right now. But what they do have is everything out in the open, and an understanding that they can/will be in contact once things settle more. Isak gets his moment of being shocked and overwhelmed by a piece of news later in the episode, but Matteo gets his here. What this does is a) makes it David’s news to tell and so solidifies the connection between them and b) allows Matteo more time and space to process it. Which, tbh, is something he tends to need. Isak assimilates information much faster usually and he adapts and changes his behaviour to fit more readily. Matteo doesn’t; it takes time for him to shift in his understanding.

It’s at this point that Isak has his ‘evolutionary theory and homosexuality’ conversation with Sana, but before that he quite aggressively comes out to his father via text. Because of his father’s reaction to that he’s a little testy when Sana arrives (potentially because of the way he perceived her reaction to homosexuality as a ‘mental illness’), but he relaxes a lot when she starts talking. He even tries to figure out his mother’s issues around it by asking about religion/Islam. Sana’s words here stay with him and they’re what he uses to try to explain what is happening with him to his mother later in the episode. Unlike Matteo, who was quite amused by the whole conversation and who appreciated the support but didn’t need the reassurance in the same way, Isak uses this to try to work out for himself how to slot himself into this whole ‘gay’ thing. Slowly but surely, his people are showing him that regardless of his sexuality they still love him. This culminates in the next scene where Isak introduces Even to the boys. Unlike Matteo, whose boy squad meeting this episode takes place with just him and the boys with no David, Isak is finding a way to be more open with his friends about his new relationship. This has always been what worried him: how do I keep my life and my friends while still having Even, and so he’s working through that now. He’s awkward and it’s a bit uncomfortable for him (particularly when Magnus exposes his eagerness to see Even alone the night he came over, to Even), but he’s learning that he can have both: a boyfriend and still be one of the boys. There’s an ease about the boys and Even that Isak can’t quite emulate yet but the fact that he’s trying to do this and be open with everyone is a big thing for him. This is not the boy with the facade anymore.

For Matteo, it’s been about ‘how do I stay connected with people when things start to go weird/confusing/shitty for me?’ His next scene after David comes out to him is of him alone, trying to work through what being transgender is and what it means by himself (instead of, you know, asking the person who could actually help!!). This has always been his go to method of dealing with stuff: isolation and seclusion. But where he’d usually try weed to help him through the situation, he doesn’t do that now and he even reaches out to Hans asking for help and guidance. He’s finally figuring out that he doesn’t have to do this by himself, that other people will still love and support him if he’s not 100% sure of something. And then of course, his meeting with his boys is all about bonding with them and not needing to isolate himself. There’s still part of him that’s hesitant, though, because he still isn’t reaching out to the one person he really should be. My assumption is that with David it feels more important because (as we see soon) he’s fallen in love, and so it’s harder to reach out to him because if he screws up and loses him, Matteo loses a lot more than he does with anyone else. He’s getting better with this, but his tendency to self-isolate and self-medicate to avoid the big life things that scare him is still here at this point. The good news is that, like Isak, he’s learning to face the issues and problems he has. In his case, he needs to learn to open up to people and connect with them. He may not be there fully yet, but he’s on his way. This is not the apathetic, secluded boy we knew at the start of this season.

In this vein, the Matteo we see over the next few clips is one who is trying to rekindle those connections and be true to himself. He talks with Hans, his mother and (finally!) David. Isak has yet to be confronted with Even’s big news so there’s less for him to come to grips with at this point. It’s about settling into who he is, trusting in Even and knowing that his friends can and will still be there for him no matter what. He’s never been a big one for self isolation; he’s always liked being alone but it’s never been unhealthy when he’s done it. Matteo on the other hand needs this series of rebuilding ties. It’s important for him to know that he’s not alone either and that he doesn’t have to deal with anything by himself. He can share his concerns with Hans and then be reassured that the only thing that matters is what he feels. He can gain the courage to come out to his mother and he can watch a video of David and just know for sure that he wants him. By the end of that conversation, he’s got another firm agreement to meet with David and they’re both pretty sure they’re on the same page. He’s so sure about it that he tells his mother that he’s fallen in love. He says this easily, much more so than Isak (though that could be a cultural thing), which ties in with his tendency to ramble about how wonderful David, and everything to do with him, is to everyone who will listen. Matteo’s been so in love with him for so long really that it’s just been a matter of getting his head around what’s going on and what david being transgender actually means. Isak isn’t this verbose about how he feels, which is interesting because in most ways he’s the more talkative and engaged one of the two. Matteo is far less likely to talk much, but get him talking about David and he’s happy to talk at length.

Of course, then we get the two hardest clips of the episodes. Both are quite problematic in many ways, and I definitely don’t like everything that happens in either of them, but this is about the characters and I’m working with what we have so bear with me. What’s really interesting is the difference between the two of them in which parent they appear closer to. It’s really highlighted this episode because Isak has most of his interactions with his father, though culminating in his repetition of Sana’s words to his mother. And his father, though it’s clearly a difficult relationship, is trying to reach out and connect with Isak and he supports him financially as well. The messages etc from his mother are always religious with no personal touches and it’s her that he was most worried about not accepting him when he talked with Even in episode five. The contact with his father is always more personal even when it’s tense. By contrast, Matteo has no contact at all with his father, and it’s his mother who is the one with the deeper, more personal connection. This difference between them is one reason why Matteo is less worried about confessing that he’s gay. When he talked to Hans about it his worry about telling her ‘about all this’ it was more because she’s mentally ill and so he’s not sure how focused and clear her understanding is, than because he thought she’d disapprove. Isak’s fear is that his mother will reject him for being gay, Matteo’s is that his won’t understand. So the two texts from each are quite different. Isak tries to reassure his via Sana’s message that it’s okay and Matteo just straight out tells his he’s in love with a boy. Matteo is far less worried about what her reaction will be even though in terms of the relationship they have he has more to lose than Isak does.

After the texts, we have happy, cheerful, affirming moments for both boys. Isak gets to spend time with Even in a happy bubble where they’re together and everything is wonderful. It may feel a bit off by the end but not enough to really worry him. Matteo gets to confidently walk into school and tell Amira he’s there to pick up David. He gets to have that moment of pride in what he’s doing and that he has someone he can be there to pick up. Of course again things go subtly wrong. The students around him are all ‘off’ in the way they’re acting but it’s not til he sees David and watches the video that it all becomes clear. The biggest difference in things at this point for them both is that Matteo already knows David’s secret and is willing to support him, but gets pushed away by David himself as he runs. Whereas Isak has no idea and is rejected by Sonja on behalf of Even while he’s being told Even’s secret. So Isak is now where Matteo was at the start of the week: alone and confused, after a very scary time when Even left the hotel and Isak couldn’t find him. Worse, actually, because Matteo at least knew David liked him. He was told so by David himself. Isak has to face up to the idea that Even hasn’t been telling him everything and that he’s not in love with him all in the same moment as the one where he’s been so worried for a fair amount of time and only now has the relief of knowing Even is safe. The fact that he’s so ready to believe it is interesting. The fact that Even has been so hot and cold all season, and has gone back to Sonja at least once, leaves Isak vulnerable to a fear that it’s still not real. And the knowledge that Even himself isn’t there and hasn’t told Isak himself, and that Sonja is plausible, just makes it worse. For all his seeming confidence, Isak is too ready to believe that he’s not desirable and that the things he’s shared with Even are fake in some way. Matteo, on the other hand, hears ‘I’m not into you’ from David himself and rejects it as utterly impossible. David is confusing, yes, but Matteo never doubts that there’s something between them. And at this point, he’s completely sure.

Anyway, the differences in how these two scenarios play out at the end of this episode feed the differences in how the boys act and react in the episode to follow. Isak, who still needs to learn to trust Even fully and has yet to realise his love, has to deal with the aftermath of this new information and had to live in that terrifying time of fear for Even’s safety for a long time. Matteo, who already knows about David and has fully accepted what they have together, has to learn to give him space and let him find his own way back. For Isak this is hard because he doesn’t have enough confidence in himself and his own worth as yet (though he is getting there). For Matteo this is hard because his impulse is to act and to be assertive and having to not act and to defer to David and what he needs takes choosing not to act, something that doesn’t come naturally to him.

Episode nine can be found here

#druck #skam #my meta stuff #my isak and matteo comparison stuff

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lightsandlostbells · 6 years

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Skam season 3, episode 7 reaction

AKA The One Where The Boy Squad Saved the Day

Episode 7 of season 3 is simpler compared to other episodes, artistically speaking - for most of it, there’s no slow motion, no big music moments, or any other Skam hallmarks. That is, until Even’s dramatic ass shows up at the very end. Which is quite fitting, in a way.

SEASON 3, EPISODE 7 - “Are you gay?”

Clip 1 - Eskild becomes Isak’s guru

Eskild tries to help Noora get over William by showing her the wonders of Tinder. I don’t know if his distaste for William in S4 was something Julie invented that season, as maybe a nod to the part of the audience who did not care for William or Noorhelm, but in-universe I would buy Eskild developing that grudge against Willy around this time. I don’t think he quite knew how much of her S2 angst was William-related, considering she wasn’t an open book and she was dealing with assault-related trauma as well. Here he knows she’s hurting for reasons directly to do with William.

Noora liked the guy on Tinder with the guitar, awww. William apparently had a guitar, as we saw during the More Than Words scene, but he was never shown playing it or talking about music.

“I just think you’re the kind of person who always has to do the right thing. You always have to be so good.” Hmmm, this says a lot about what Eskild thinks of Noora and her role in Kollektivet. Although I think in this case it mostly has to do with what Eskild says a moment later, about how everyone knows William isn’t going to come back. He really doesn’t think William will return for her and believes Noora is limiting herself by waiting for him. Just because Noora will wait for William doesn’t mean William will wait for her (which ... may have been true, it’s never clear in S4).

While watching this clip in real time, I wondered if, with all these moments reminding us that William is gone, Thomas wouldn’t come back for like a cameo in this season finale. Regardless of my personal feelings on the ship, Julie spent a full season on Noorhelm, and since there were Evak/Noorhelm parallels this season, if Evak ended up together, then Noorhelm would get some closure, right? It was actually a little surprising that she would tank her OTP like that without a hint of his return.

Noora is making tea in a Star Wars mug. Is that her mug, or someone else’s? Who’s the Star Wars fan in the flat? Tbh ever since Eskild made that Warhammer reference in the first episode, I kind of like the idea of him having sci-fi/fantasy nerd tendencies. Imagine if Kollektivet had a tabletop game night, omg.

Isak has a little smile for just a fraction of a second at Eskild’s dramatics over the Noorhelm saga.

Eskild is really tired of Isak apologizing for the gay pride incident. I think once he got some distance from the situation, he remembered that Isak is young and just coming out, and not perfectly educated on all issues regarding to the LGBT community. Eskild himself likely made some similar mistakes when he was younger and newly out of the closet. Life is a learning process, there’s no point where any of us reach Mount Woke and forevermore say the right thing and hold all the right opinions about issues of social justice.

Also, at a certain point you just want people to stop saying sorry for their mistakes, because you’ve stopped caring about what they did and just want to move on. And sometimes it becomes more about the person saying sorry than the person they hurt, though I don’t think that’s the case here with Isak. But I do think Isak just does not want Eskild mad at him. He realizes he messed up and hurt someone close to him, someone that he frankly needs during this sensitive time in his life, and who already has done so much for him.

It’s hilarious how Eskild’s annoyed mood does a 180 once Isak says he needs some advice. Those are the magic words. Eskild is a dude who really, really wants to nurture others and take them under his wing. He wants to help. And he likes the idea of being Isak’s mentor. Of course there’s the satisfaction of having his opinion listened to and valued, but he also gets to help out a gay kid who’s not as sure of himself as Eskild. Really makes you wonder whether Eskild had his own guru or whether he had to go it alone - if this is a “pay it forward” situation, or if he’s telling Isak the things he wishes someone would have told him.

It’s kind of hard to think about long-term future headcanons for Skam since it existed so firmly in its present, but I love the idea that Eskild would become a counselor for troubled youth or LGBT teens or something like that.

This is also just delicious payback, because asking for help shows Isak does look up to Eskild and respects his opinion, which is what Eskild wants. It’s really fun as Carl Martin stretches out Isak’s request, playing with him. Messing with Isak is probably more satisfying than another apology. Meanwhile Isak rolls his eyes in peak bratty teenage mode. (Tarjei gives some first-rate bratty teenage face in this scene.)

Here’s the immortal guru line, ha! Didn’t Carl Martin improvise this part?

It’s really nice that Isak felt he could go to Eskild with this concern, though. Coming out to Jonas made him relax a little bit, but Jonas can’t quite understand the specific scenario of being a gay guy (or pan guy in Even’s case) and having relationship drama. There are some factors in Isak and Even’s situation that could be influenced by them being two guys instead of a straight couple, so now Isak wants the input of another gay guy. Still, Isak is mostly looking at the ground while he openly admits his concerns about this thing with Even. He’s very vulnerable, getting it all out there. And honestly, he’s indicating to Eskild that this isn’t just a casual thing with Even - he’s invested in it, otherwise would he be so confused and upset about Even going back to his girlfriend? They weren’t just hooking up, Isak thought they were going to be together.

You can see the mention of “girlfriend” being the thing that sticks out to Eskild, and Isak noticing that and starting to get worried.

I really like this exchange where Eskild asks Isak how honest he wants him to be, and Isak says, “Maybe not too honest,” at first, then changes his mind and asks for the whole truth. That’s such a good little moment because you can see that Eskild wants to protect Isak’s feelings but also doesn’t want to give him false hope or lie to him. He’s really looking out for Isak’s best interests. And Isak doesn’t want to hear the harsh truth at first, which is real and vulnerable, but then he figures he better hear it anyway, which is a mark of maturity.

Look at the bucket of cold water splashed over Isak when Eskild tells him not many guys leave their girlfriends for a guy. This is like the episode opener from episode 4 all over again, except opposed to what Eskild said to Noora - “There are people who leave their wives and families to be with the ones they love.” It’s interesting because he’s talking from a more personal perspective here, as a gay man, rather than Noora’s issue with her het relationship, and his take is more cynical.

Though even with Noora, Eskild was trying to soften the blow - it was clear he thought William was out of the picture for good, going off how he kept mentioning how Noorhelm had broken up despite Noora’s protests. Similarly, Eskild doesn’t want to let Isak down too much, he wants to qualify that he’s not God or Buddha, this is just his opinion … but he also can’t bring himself to openly lie (in his opinion) to Isak and tell him it’s going to work out fine.

Nothing like Eskild asking if his advice was helpful when Isak’s hope is draining fast, and the clip just ending there.

So I remember there was criticism of Eskild’s advice/POV here, and while I understand why because his advice is flawed and he ends up being wrong about Even, obviously, I think it’s important to keep in mind Eskild is coming from a very specific, very personal perspective, where he’s meeting guys on Grindr who are ostensibly hanging on to a straight identity while having gay sex. As that one dude in episode 2 wrote to him, he’s not gay but he likes to suck dick, etc. - and I doubt that random Grindr guy meant he was actually bi or pan rather than gay; in context he was likely disavowing any non-heterosexual identity. Eskild is talking about a specific type of guy who will have sex with men for pleasure, but would not commit to more long-term relationships with men - relationships that are perceived more negatively in society, relationships that will direct prejudice and scorn toward those involved, relationships that unfortunately can lead to terrible consequences due to homophobia, such as violence, discrimination, family disapproval, etc. He’s not getting a correct read on Isak’s situation - the guru is fallible. But his take on it is from personal experience. (Plus Isak is telling him how Even keeps running hot and cold, showing Isak affection then ignoring him, which is not going to give Eskild the best impression of the situation.)

Clip 2 - Nei, Vilde

My heart gets so warm whenever Isak and Sana are in the same frame.

“I read it last weeeeek.” Why is that one line delivery so funny and memorable? Tarjei is a human meme.

Isak is right, the correct answer is D. Sana is convinced it’s A. One of Sana’s greatest strengths is her conviction in her beliefs, but it’s also one of her biggest flaws. As we can see, sometimes she is strongly convinced she’s right when she’s not, and she can have trouble admitting that she’s wrong. (Another moment: that scene from S1 where Sana and Noora are talking about an assignment, Noora says Sana did a problem wrong, and Sana says that the answer key is wrong.) This part of the scene with Isak and Sana fighting over the answer is here to parallel the earlier scene with Sana talking about homosexuality not being supported by evolution and to foreshadow the coming scene where she does admit to Isak she was wrong about it. We can see that Sana, while a smart person, doesn’t have all the answers. She is just a teenager, after all. And we can see that she’s stubborn in her mindset, so for her to say she was wrong about something is a big deal for her.

Also, in Isak’s season he’s the one who’s got the right answer and it’s Sana who’s wrong, and I believe in Sana’s season she’s the one outperforming him, which is funny and fitting for their characters. They both think they’re the brains of the operation.

“Your own organs don’t release waste.” Sana ... do you not know what poop is....

I mean excretion takes other forms,too, but I am given to understand that poop is a globally recognized phenomenon.

Sana pinching her nose in exasperation is pretty funny, though. She must have perfected that gesture during her conversations with Vilde, but as it turns out, it has many applications!

“Just trust me, Sana, I know this.” “I trust myself and it’s A.” Character-defining statement for Sana right there.

I’d forgotten that Isak says, “This is my subject. I know what I’m doing.” Just to support all those fanfics where Isak is a scientist or doctor. Sometimes facts can be super common in fic, but not necessarily supported in canon, but this bit gives credence to scientist Isak outside of him just generally being smart and getting good grades in biology.

AND NOW, as of this week, we have Julie Andem herself saying that Isak is studying biophysics at university, for people who would like to run with her headcanons.

Isak is like, “Let’s just Google it, I’m sick of you being stubborn,” and Sana’s like, “Well, if you’re so uncertain that you have to check Google,” and I’m like, oh my god what a ridiculous duo, I can’t stop giggling at them sniping at each other. The crankiest friends, I love them.

Everyone’s least favorite teacher returns, still without a bra but this time without a racist comment. Uh, character development? (Wasn’t she some teacher at Nissen? Imagine walking into your classroom and all your students were watching extended shots of your nipples when the clip dropped earlier. Unless she usually free-boobs it, then it’s just another Tuesday.)

Isak and Sana can’t come to an agreement, so they agree to disagree by each choosing an answer and marking it. Almost like … they can agree to disagree on other topics … hmmmm...

You can see Sana frown in confusion as she reads the text, and my heart cracks a little with Isak’s response. He looks over with a smirk, teasing her about not knowing her name and it’s very cute, but his smile drops when he sees her expression. And then when he reads the text, Tarjei does such excellent and subtle acting. It’s not like Isak has a meltdown at the table or anything, but you can see him getting punched in the gut, the shock sinking in. He quietly puts the phone in his pocket, a little tremor in his voice.

Vilde, Vilde, Vilde. I actually love Vilde a lot, messy comments and opinions and all, but this is What Not to Do when you think someone you know might be gay. First of all, you shouldn’t be putting someone randomly on the spot like that, launching into such a personal question without even easing into the subject (“I hope you don’t find this question rude” - too bad, because it is rude). I mean, imagine if someone was randomly like, “Vilde, I hope you don’t think this is rude, but is your mom an alcoholic?” WTF. Second, Vilde doesn’t know Isak that well, certainly not well enough to be asking him that question. I don’t think that question would be appropriate from a close friend, either, but definitely not from their level of acquaintances. Third, if you think your friend might be gay, you should wait for them to bring it up to you, because it’s a very personal matter. It’s a sensitive topic and they’re likely to be feeling vulnerable; they might not be sure of themselves and still questioning their sexuality, they just might not be ready. Plus coming out is something each individual should have control over. With these rumors, Isak has this life-changing moment taken out of his hands.

Sana responds to the text well, though, not acknowledging it, changing the subject by asking about the next bio question, and taking care of their assignment for Isak. You know when she saw Vilde next she chewed her out.

This is probably when things really started to make sense to her about why Isak was so hung up about religion not being accepting of homosexuality, and why he confronted her about it. She realizes that no matter her point, maybe her words had some unintended meanings that weren’t the best for Isak to hear.

There’s fear in Isak’s eyes when Sana gets up. He looks at her like he thinks she might hate him now because she knows he’s gay :(

Isak is not ready to be labeled gay, really, so you can imagine how alarming this is. Not just that he had a relationship with a boy, but that he IS something. He’s something that he’s not yet ready to accept about himself, but suddenly everyone in school knows it about him?

To make matters worse, when Isak asks Vilde where she heard it, she mentions that she heard Isak and Even had a thing. So it’s not just that Isak is gay, it’s that Isak had a relationship with Even, like ... exactly how much do they know about his life?

What do you think Even thought about being outed? We don’t know whether he was out or not, whether he was OK with it. He wasn’t wearing a pan pride button until S4. Maybe he was fine with people knowing about his sexuality, but it still wasn’t Emma’s call to make, it was his.

Of course here we learn Emma spilled the beans after hearing it from Sonja. You can imagine how this went: Even told Sonja about him and Isak. I don’t have a problem with him doing that. She was his girlfriend of four years, she deserved to know the truth about why Even was ending their relationship. And she also had graduated and didn’t go to Nissen so she wasn’t exactly enmeshed in the Nissen social sphere, there seemingly wasn’t much risk in telling her. Then Sonja contacted Emma, the sweet first-year girl who she got along with so well, to warn her off Isak. I don’t think it was wrong of her to do this in theory? I guess Sonja could have said, “Hey, Isak is not worth your time,” without going into more details about Isak and Even’s relationship, but who knows how effective that would have been. I get it, she doesn’t want Emma to waste her time and get her heart broken. Ultimately it was Emma’s choice whether to keep Isak’s sexuality to herself or not. And we don’t know exactly how Emma outed Isak, since the details Vilde gives are on the vague side. It could have been Emma venting to a friend but not intending to spread it around school, except someone else happened to overhear. It could have been the friend passing it on to a friend, who passed it on to another friend, and it kept going way more than Emma wanted or predicted. Or, I mean, it could have been Emma really angry at Isak and not bothering to keep it a secret, not understanding the severity of what it’s like to be outed (because it’s 2016, Isak, get out of the closet, geeeeeez).

But whether it was through carelessness or malice, outing Isak was clearly wrong of Emma. And frankly worse than what he did to her - he hurt Emma by leading her on, but outing Isak could have had really bad consequences. Isak is lucky that his friends are good people who accepted him instead of rejecting him. Even if he wasn’t gay-bashed or something extreme like that, he could have had to deal with homophobic assholes at school. We don’t see Isak dealing with homophobes until S4, but it’s not unreasonable to think there would be some shitheads who might use homophobic slurs or make fun of him, laugh at him, etc.

Actually, although he doesn’t really deal with bullying in this season, we do see that he has to deal with people like Vilde and the dance girls, well-intentioned individuals who still make him uncomfortable with inappropriate or generalizing remarks. All of that is a hell of a lot to deal with as a gay teenager. It should have been Isak’s choice when he was ready to deal with all of that by coming out to the school. No matter her intentions, Emma took that away from him.

This is my one substantial critique of the season and the only thing I would change. I think we definitely see that Emma’s actions had negative effects for Isak, but it would have been nice to get more open acknowledgment that outing someone else without their consent is wrong. Either by someone explicitly saying that Emma did something wrong, or by Emma apologizing to Isak for what she did. Or both. Her reaction in her final scene with him does seem like she’s apprehensive about speaking to him, so maybe she realizes she messed up, but it would have been good to get this message vocalized for the audience. Don’t out people against their will.

Vilde says, “Sorry if it’s not true.” But not sorry if it is true, because Vilde doesn’t realize that it’s not the veracity of the rumor, it’s the violation of privacy.

Vilde thinks she’s being an ally, too, except of course her comments are just going to make Isak feel worse. This is what he fears - being judged because he’s gay, coming out = people seeing him as a concept instead of as an individual. Vilde is playing into the same thoughtlessness as Emma in episode 3: she’s making generalizations, and positive generalizations are still a problem. “I love gays!” is dehumanizing. Not all gay people are the same. Some are nice. Some are mean. Some are fun. Some are boring. You know. Like the rest of humanity. She’s showing that she’s slotting Isak into this neat little box, which is what she wants to avoid.

If you’ve read Ulrikke’s Skam fanfic for charity, there’s a bit where Vilde kisses Isak on the cheek because she’s trying to make him her gay best friend. But of course Isak is anything but the “gay best friend” stereotype.

It is kind of ridiculous to imagine Vilde looking at Isak and going, ah yes, there’s a guy who would make a perfect gay best friend. Like Vilde is expecting a shopping partner or someone to give her grooming tips and romance advice, and instead Isak’s preferred BFF activities would consist of lying around, playing FIFA, and smoking weed.

Clip 3 - Coming out to the boys

Jonas asks the important questions, like how does IKEA name their furniture? (And IKEA had an answer for Jonas.) (They told him to have fun at the pre-drink on Friday, lmao. IKEA was just as deep in Skam hell as the rest of us.)

The random girl saying hello to Isak is one of those innocuous-seeming things that really illustrates the negative effects of being outed. Isak is exposed. He’s suddenly a public figure. Even in a “positive” way that’s a lot to deal with; not to be a broken record but he should have been his choice when to come out so he could prepare himself for this attention.

Lmao, Magnus and Mahdi have their own little musical duo. Also, David’s rapping and dancing in this scene is the funniest shit. His comedic timing was great in this clip.

You can notice a few subtle differences in how Magnus and Mahdi greet Jonas versus how they greet Isak, because there’s still awkwardness over what happened at Emma’s party. Mahdi doesn’t look at Isak at first.

I don’t usually comment on this type of stuff but this is one of Isak’s fluffiest looks. Whenever he leaves off the snapback? Fluff factor increases 200%. Helps that he spends part of this scene looking skittish as a baby deer.

Jonas is the one to mention Isak’s pre-party, signaling that he is cool with Isak and softening the awkwardness of Isak having to do it. Jonas is such an excellent bro.

Magnus readily agrees to the party; I think he’s just such an easy-going dude and not someone who likes conflict. Jonas semi-subtly asks if they’re all in, and there’s a little moment where Isak and Mahdi exchange a look. Isak says that he won’t get violent this time, which is his way of saying he’s sorry, and Mahdi is cool with it and gives a giant lovely smile. So just like that, peace is restored in the boy squad.

I remember this was the clip where I fully turned around on the boy squad and went from, hmmm, don’t know how I feel about these teenage boys? to I love them FOREVER. Just in time for the magnificent Fredag clip.

Of course, then Magnus just has to bring up that totally wacky rumor about Isak being gay. Lol so funny that everyone thinks that!! Because it’s obviously not true!! The relief Isak must feel at making up with his friends must grind to a halt. Because it’s one thing that they’re forgiven him for the fight, but are they going to be OK with him once they learn he’s gay? He came out to Jonas and it went well, but what about these guys? Coming out is going to have to be a continuous process for him, isn’t it? And maybe it will get easier but can it ever get easy?

I’m not sure Isak planned to come out to Magnus and Mahdi when he sat down. There’s a text conversation between Isak and Jonas about telling the boys since the rumors went around, but I don’t know if Isak entered the room with the intention of coming out right then and there, or if he was just planning on making amends and then coming out to them in a different scenario, like maybe he wanted to tell them at the pre-drink (hey, it could be easier after a few drinks), but Magnus bringing up the rumors sort of pushed the issue. At least when he came out to Jonas, he got to plan the time and place and had some control over the situation.

Jonas is there, though, and he realizes that this conversation could head into uncomfortable territory for Isak. The upside is that Isak does have Jonas there for emotional support, he has at least one friend he knows has his back about being gay, he’s not doing this alone. I live for Jonas glancing at Isak during this conversation to check on how he’s doing. Which is not great - Isak is REALLY uncomfortable listening to Magnus and Mahdi talk about the rumors.

I really like how they handle this part of the conversation, though, regarding the rumors about Mahdi fighting Isak for being gay. It puts Isak and Mahdi, who haven’t always gotten along this season, on similar ground. Mahdi is also a victim of a stereotyping and generalizing, both “neutral” and negative - that he’s Muslim when he’s not, that he’s homophobic when he’s not. Assumptions that are certainly made because of his race. I can’t speak for Norwegians specifically, but it’s a widespread stereotype that POC are less tolerant of LGBT people and more likely to be homophobic. It’s a good thing for Julie to casually include a rejection of that stereotype. Also that Mahdi is really bothered and not amused by other people thinking he’s a homophobe. Magnus thinks this whole thing is so ridiculous it’s funny, while the others really don’t find it funny at all; it’s shitty for Isak and Mahdi personally, and Jonas knows that Isak is struggling.

I do love Magnus overall but I want to duct tape his mouth shut for a large part of this conversation.

Okay, he drives me up the wall here but admittedly I do get a laugh out of that satisfied huff he gives at the end of the talk, like “Good chat, glad we got that cleared up.” Having no idea the seriousness of this conversation.

Poor Isak. His discomfort throughout this clip is very well-acted, good job, Tarjei. He can’t even look his friends in the eye at the beginning.

And that eye contact Jonas shares with him before Isak starts to tell them the truth!!!! Best bro!!!! He also keeps looking to Jonas for support during the talk, before he tells the boys about Even.

The way Isak comes out here is roundabout, just like before. Like he did with Jonas, he builds up to it - he’s not just like, “Well, there’s some truth to the rumors,” or anything so direct. He starts by winding into the story about the dance chicks, taking some time to get to the point. He needs to work up to saying the words.

An interesting part is when Isak asks if they remember the guy who came up to them and Magnus is like, “The gay guy?” and Isak wants to know why he thinks he was gay. Because Isak is of course thinking about Even, not the random dance instructor. But there’s some stuff to unpack with how Isak gets maybe a little tense or alert about Magnus thinking Even is gay. There are a couple ways you could read his reaction: that Isak is still dealing with what it means to be gay and to be seen as gay, the social perception of it, and can’t turn off the part of his brain that’s full of anxiety about seeming gay, and wants to know what it is Magnus picked up about Even - could it apply to Isak, too? Or that Isak is still thinking about Eskild’s guru advice and Even’s general hot and cold-ness and wondering if Even really is gay (or bi, or pan, or into dudes) and wanting another take on it? Or you know, just confusion over how Magnus could know that much with such a brief interaction.

To be fair, all of these interpretations assume Isak believes Magnus is capable of a deeper level of perception that he perhaps is, lmao. Or, on the other hand, if someone like Magnus could pick up that Even was perhaps gay after seeing him for like 10 seconds, then what does that say about how people see Isak?

It’s honestly pretty funny that Isak is like “Don’t you remember the guy who was such a tall swoopy-haired drink of water? Didn’t him returning Jonas’ hat burn into your minds for all eternity until you pass from this world and it’ll be the last thing you see on your deathbed?” Isak, those guys were in a dance girls coma, a random dude returning a hat was mostly a non-event to them. (Yes, Jonas remembered that moment and figured out he must be Isak’s crush, but Jonas is the The Best Friend and paying close attention to all Isak-related anomalies.)

Once more, Isak comes out to people not by saying he’s gay, but by describing his actions (“We’ve had a thing”). Quickly reinforced by Magnus asking whether he’s gay and Isak reflexively rejecting the label. It goes from Isak saying, This is what I did and Magnus saying, So this is who you are? and Isak saying, No, that’s not who I am. Well, maybe a little bit.

I mean, he does say he’s a little bit gay, but I feel like that’s a concession that yeah, hooking up with a dude is not a straight thing to do, he probably feels like it would be stupid to pretend otherwise. But him fumbling with the gay label here shows how concerned he still is about the perception of others about his sexuality. He still has hangups about what it means to be gay and wants to distance himself from societal stereotypes, and he quickly backs into a defense of himself. Isak might be a little gay but he’s not SO gay he’s into every guy he meets. Which should be obvious - he’s not into every guy out there just as these straight boys are not attracted to every single girl on the planet. But Isak is very insecure. Like at its core, this part is sad to me, because he wants to make sure these other guys are not uncomfortable with him and they don’t see him as a threat. It’s completely understandable why he has these insecurities, because of homophobic ideas about predatory gay men, but it’s still depressing that he feels he needs to defend himself when the words about him having a relationship with a guy are barely out of his mouth.

However, here is another really good moment! Magnus is confused because Isak (in his eyes) hooks up with girls all the time, and Isak doesn’t really know how to say he was lying or faking, or he doesn’t want to say he is not into girls at all yet (because if he’s like, “I’m not into girls,” Magnus is going to be like, “Sooo… you are gay?”) BUT before Isak has to handle this deeply awkward moment, blessed Mahdi is like, “Well, he could be pansexual?” THANK GOD. We as the audience know that Isak is not pan (or bi) but it’s completely reasonable as an outside suggestion that Isak might be. So often this is framed as one or the other, Isak could only be gay or straight. A lot of canons won’t even bring up bisexuality, and it’s really rare to hear pansexuality mentioned at all. Bravo, Skam. 🙌

So this tense moment where Isak is suddenly put on the spot and potentially asked to explain his sexual history is diverted by his friends casually discussing and debating pansexuality and bisexuality. Is this the most #woke way they could have talked about it? Well, no, but it’s a realistic discussion and certainly a good thing for the teenage audience to hear. These characters are not experts on every social issue out there, but they’re open to being educated and sharing knowledge with each other.

Like I kind of laugh at Isak pursing his lips, suddenly excluded from his own coming out while his friends debate labels. In a way it is weird that they’re suddenly talking about whether Isak could be bi or pan right in front of him, but not with him, just among themselves. It’s meant in a good-natured way though, they’re trying to understand him. And Isak must find this deeply surreal but preferable to being grilled personally on how he identifies. Of course they could have just asked him whether he was bi or pan but I don’t think Isak was ready to answer that question.

King Jonas is like “However, he identifies, he’s having a pre-party on Friday,” because hey, that’s the most important thing here, where and when they can get drunk. (For real, bless Jonas for changing the subject before it got too strange.)

Magnus using the f-slur is jarring and not excusable and I mean, I hope Jonas later on was like, “Don’t say that word, dumbass,” and Magnus went home and Googled words not to use when your bro might be pansexual and educated himself. I’m not excusing him, but I don’t think we don’t hear anything like that from him later so hopefully he wised the fuck up.

But again, duct tape.

At least Isak does not seem rattled by it and uses the opportunity to roast Magnus. Because it’s just so easy.

Not gonna lie, the clip ending so abruptly after Magnus is like, “Huh?” makes me laugh.

Clip 4 - Love letter, kinda

Is this the shortest individual clip in all of Skam? It’s less than a minute long. I can’t remember any others that are shorter.

I love that Isak stops and takes a moment to size up his locker, bracing himself for his daily battle. And that it just … doesn’t happen. He’s downright stunned when the locker doesn’t fight him and gives way easily. Isn’t it wonderful when a problem that’s been bothering you is finally gone?

Regarding Isak’s locker of character development, the meaning is very clear. Isak came out to his friends and it’s not the end of the world. They accept him. So his locker (closet) can open without a struggle. He’s not stuck in the closet or struggling to keep his secrets from spilling out. It’s fine. It’s such a simple metaphor but it’s lovely.

And on top of that, he has another message from Even!

Even drew that damn phone twice, you can see subtle differences in each version (besides the obvious text messages).

Again, I love Even’s sketches so much. He’s has such a clever, creative, romantic mind. The “this universe” side of the sketch is acknowledgment that he received Isak’s message, but didn’t reply. The “same time in a completely different universe” sketch is what he feels he SHOULD have done, what he wanted to do but couldn’t get the courage to do, or felt he couldn’t. It’s so poignant! There’s so much longing! I swoon.

This sketch is an apology, too, because he knows Isak must have been hurt by Even leaving him hanging yet again, especially right after Even must have given him some hope with the cheese toastie sketch. This is Even acknowledging that he should have replied and in a better world, he would have.

It makes you think so much about what was holding Even back. I don’t think it was just Sonja (tbh I wonder if Sonja was really in the picture, to be discussed later), I think it was just simply his hesitance over Isak’s comment about mentally ill people. He gave Isak the cheese toastie sketch because he saw Isak was sad and wanted to let him know Even still cared, that his feelings were still there. But then, you know, Isak found the sketch and sent Even a text, and interacting with Isak again just made Even have another round of doubts. He felt like he shouldn’t be doing this, he shouldn’t be continuing this thing with Isak or encouraging it. But at the same time, Even does not want Isak to be in pain. And despite his reservations, despite everything standing in his way, Even wants Isak.

The “miss you” is such a punch in the gut, too. Like we know Even misses Isak because he drew them having cheese toasties together, in another, better universe. But it’s also good to see him state the words so directly. Again, the longing. My heart can’t take it.

This is the drawing that ends up on the wall of the Evak apartment in S4. Isak saved it and they both decided to put it up, even when all the drama had passed, because it was special to them. I like to think it’s a reminder to them of what they went through to be together, and to treasure their life in the present, because going through hell was worth it to arrive at their happiness together.

Look at Isak’s little smile, awwwww.

Not to ruin this beautiful moment or anything but as people have pointed out, Tarjei is reacting to a blank piece of paper.

I think I’ve said this before but looking at Even’s drawing here reminded me of how I am an utter wreck of a human being when I think about his drawings being in the S3 header. Just Isak surrounded by Even’s sketches. Even’s mind, Even’s personality. Even as an integral part of the season, of Isak’s story. I see an Illuminati symbol surrounded by dicks and I’m overcome with emotion. This season still got its claws in me, goddamn.

Clip 5 - REUNION CLIP

This clip is just so heartwarming. When this aired the Skam train had left the station, internationally speaking, and the fandom was so happy and having such a good time with this quality content. It’s really amazing how fast the fandom grew. I think the reaction to this clip was maybe when it sank in for me that Skam was getting big on Tumblr.

The boys talking about russ music at parties reminds me of how S3 is so devoid of anything russ-related compared to other seasons. If Skam had continued until graduation, do you think we’d see the boy squad participating in russ at all, or would they opt out? I mean, I guess we have Jonas’ thoughts on the matter, but what about the others? We don’t see them planning anything, obviously, but a lot of us wanted to see the boys in those overalls. How common is it not to participate?

The way Jonas says “Nate Dogg” cracks me up.

Isak is trying, really trying to get invested in this conversation, but his mind can’t help but roam elsewhere, to Evenland. He is wearing the exact same outfit as in the Bros clip of episode 5, and it’s a similar setup, scene-wise - he’s at a pre-drink with his boys and they’re engaged in a conversation, but he’s very disconnected from it all. The difference here is that Isak has re-established that social connection with them, so Jonas is quick to notice Isak really isn’t there with them, and he checks with Isak. Not just how Isak is feeling right then and there, but making sure to ask about the Even situation. Jonas can deduce that whatever’s got Isak in a mood, it’s probably Even-related. And because Isak has opened up to Jonas, he doesn’t have to sit there in misery the whole time.

The setup of this scene is subtly different from the Bros clip, too. In that one, the boys were all on different pieces of furniture - Magnus and Mahdi on some couch, Jonas across from them on a chair, and Isak between them on another chair - and it made it easy for Isak to sit there disengaged from the group because of the distance. Here they’re all sitting around the same table, a united front, and it’s not as easy for Isak to detach himself. He’s in the same place as they are, he’s level with them.

When Isak says Even has a girlfriend, Magnus asks if he is pansexual. HOW RIGHT YOU ARE, SON. Look at Magnus, using his new vocabulary.

These boys are just darling. I kind of love how Jonas is the friend who is like 100% Team You, like … the friend who will join in with you when you’re spilling your romance woes and be like, “What is his DEAL?” and give you all that commiseration you want, but also the advice you need to hear. And Magnus is like oooo, are we talking about Even? Isak’s friends want all the dirt on their boy’s boy. Like they are invested, they are ready and willing to hear about Isak’s interpersonal issues.

But isn’t it nice for Isak to be able to talk about this with people? That once he’s no longer keeping this huge secret, he can talk with his friends about his romance problems, just like they can talk about their girl drama? It’s no different than Magnus talking about Vilde, except with less TMI. That’s the obvious contrast between this scene and the Bros clip. Isak starts off detached in both scenes, but in this one the boys bring him back in.

And to be fair, Isak could hypothetically had shitty friends who didn’t accept him, or who were theoretically OK with him being gay but didn’t actually want to hear him talk about hooking up with boys because it made them uncomfortable. Unfortunately, that happens in real life. Like … Isak was not unjustified in his fears and in his keeping secrets. It’s just that his friends turned out to be great, and that opening up to them was a positive step.

One annoying part about coming out to his friends: Isak having to deal with Magnus’ incredibly heterosexual questions. But also, it’s nice that the other boys are clearly rolling their eyes and groaning at Magnus being a dumbass, it’s treated as Magnus bieng inappropriate. And this exchange is a small but valid misconception to include in the show, because it’s a big thing for straight people to ask who’s the man and who’s the woman in a gay relationship - they’re still mapping the relationship onto heteronormative roles. Each romantic relationship MUST have a man or woman role in it. And of course that’s not the case. Not to mention this question is also clearly linked to sexual roles, like … two men having sex are two men. It doesn’t matter what they’re doing during that sex. No one’s the “woman.” (I mean, I think Magnus is asking how they decide who’s the top and who’s the bottom? But there are no guidelines for that, either, lol. Those are things people decide as individuals when having sex, it’s not a universal rule who does what. Or I guess Magnus is just very confused about how gay sex works, lmao.)

Magnus’ question always reminds me of this scene from The Office.

Isak’s roast of Magnus here is one of the finest roasts I’ve ever heard, like someone serve it with carrots and enter it in the county fair because it’ll win a blue ribbon. He goes in for the drag about straight sex and then circles back for a snap at Magnus’ lack of action! Double roasted! So roasted it’s burnt! You’re going to be chewing on that sucker and end up spitting it into a napkin. Even Jonas is impressed.

Lmao, I know Magnus is meant to be the clueless straight guy, but I like headcanoning him as stumbling into a bisexual epiphany in a few years. Like sometime after he graduates he’ll be like … ohhhhhh, that’s why I had those questions about gay sex for Isak and was so invested in Evak and was struck speechless by Even.

JONAS IS THE FUCKING BEST, LISTEN TO HIM AND HIS WISE OLD WIZARD EYEBROWS, ISAK

Really, Jonas just cuts past the bullshit and says for Isak to put his foot down about this whole Even situation. It’s now or never. Stop letting Even play with your heart. Did Jonas have a flair for relationship advice when he and Eva were together, or has he gained some wisdom from his own experience with love drama?

This scene is just such a joy! Usually in media, the gay characters are the ones who help out the straight characters with their romantic drama. Here it’s the opposite. Especially because these are straight boys who are completely fine with giving their gay bro advice on how to get his man. This is honestly great of Julie to normalize this behavior. I’ve heard comments that maybe this situation is idealized, that the boy squad are so cool with everything, but you know what? Skam, for all its realism, is frequently about ideal outcomes - not just how things are, but how they should be. Giving teenagers a roadmap of how to react in unknown situations.

Also, how great is it that Isak has been listening to endless conversations about girls, sitting through dance chicks performances, basically going through all these social rituals and bonding with his friends over heterosexual desire, feeling so isolated from it all, and now finally he’s included? His coming out has opened the door for Isak to both be honest about his own attraction to men and no longer having to feign interest in girls. Freeeedoooooom!

The boys are also using their knowledge of dating girls to help out Isak, translating it to him dating a boy. And I mean, there is a different social context with straight relationships and gay relationships, so their advice might not always fit perfectly with Isak’s situation. However, it matters that they’re not othering Isak (well, Magnus is with his questions, but those are laughed at and shut down). They’re able to maintain an easy connection with Isak, not filtering him through a different lens because he’s into a guy. Which is absolutely what Isak wants, to be treated the same.

Isak is very encouraged by the boys telling him to put Even on the spot and be blunt with him about what’s happening with them. I think it’s funny that Magnus is like, “Yeah, it sucks when she leaves you on read,” and we hear it happens to him all the time. Somehow that does not surprise me!

Isak is friendlier and not as blunt as Jonas encouraged him to be in the text message to Even, thanking Even for the drawing at the beginning. He’s human, he’s soft for Even, he can’t totally hide it. But he does make it clear that if Even doesn’t want something more, then this needs to end.

“Call me when you’ve broken up with your girlfriend.” What a line. You harness that self-respect, Isak.

They’re all so proud of their boy Isak for standing up for himself. They’re even like “Bros! Brothers!” when they clink their cans. You have to imagine that even if this thing with Even hadn’t worked out, Isak had a strong support system to get him through the heartbreak.

Lmao, Even answers immediately. Isak giving him that ultimatum and laying down the law really made him sweat, huh.

No, really, let’s talk about what Even thought when he got this text.

Now personally I believe Even was no longer in a clear relationship with Sonja when he got this text. I think whatever happened with them at Emma’s party was either temporary or ill-defined, and they were still technically on a break through all of this. Mostly because Even ends up getting to Isak’s apartment SO FAST. Like ... was Even breaking up with Sonja as he was running out the door??? Did he shoot her a break-up text during the night, after when Isak was asleep? I’d like to think he didn’t do Sonja that dirty.

But yeah, Even responds so quickly. Right after Isak sends that first text, Even realizes that he might lose him. And after all this hesitation, knowing that Isak doesn’t want mentally ill people around, fearing that he could hurt Isak, that Isak could reject him once he finds out the truth … after his efforts to push Isak away, Even can’t do it. When Isak makes plain that Even has to put up or shut up, it takes zero time for Even to make a decision. Or at least, he has to talk to Isak. The thought of losing Isak outweighs any other concerns he might have. There’s something about the simplicity of it that gets me. When there’s no time or room for doubt, Even chooses Isak in a heartbeat.

Jonas is of course the master of strategic texting. Don’t call Even, because calling will put you on the spot and bring you closer together than texting. Isak has to be a little aloof, make Even think he’s really about to let go. Play it cool. The magic words are Chiller hjemme. Lets him know you might be available, but you’re not desperate to talk with him. (Seriously, how did Jonas get this smooth?? I assume from experience but lmao, the evolution between S1 and S3 Jonas is like ... Bulbasaur and Venusaur.) (I don’t know Pokemon that well, if there’s one that has magnificent eyebrows please let me know.)

Isak’s facial expressions throughout this whole texting debate are so funny to me. He’s practically a wide-eyed innocent? He’s so earnest, he really does want to talk to Even! Plus with his little curls popping out from under his snapback, he looks very young and fresh-faced to the whole ultimatum via text message thing.

And he keeps wanting to add more to the text, like “just call me,” or suggesting a smiley, and Jonas shoots that shit down. What a character moment, honestly? Isak the young inexperienced texter and Jonas who has gone through multiple desired relationships. It is really cute that Isak wants to add a smiley! But Jonas is right, it completely would have made him seem too eager and destroyed the perception of aloofness.

What smiley would he have landed on, though? 😀 or 🙂 or 😁 or 😎? I’m partial to the sunglasses emoji myself. Chiller hjemme 😎

There is a conversation to be had, by academics who study the impact of modern technology on everyday communication, about the instinctive knowledge these teenagers have about subtleties in non-verbal expression, such as recognizing the impact that a smiley can have in changing the tone of a text message, and combing Skam for all related examples of strategic use of electronic messaging and/or social media to send messages to their peers.

STRAIGHT UP

Sometimes I think Marlon’s finest acting on the show is that self-assured look he gives Isak when he says Even will call, or that gasp of overjoyed satisfaction when Even shows up at the door a few minutes later. Those are just some damn fine expressions.

This moment where the boys sit in silence, waiting for the text, is so good! They’re hooked into the drama! They want their boy to get his man! And that forlorn shot of the phone sitting on the table among the beer cans, inactive. Not lighting up with the desired response from Even.

It’s also really sweet when the boys try to offer suggestions why Even isn’t responding. Even Magnus has a reasonable idea about checking the typing bubble. When it seems like Isak has given up, Mahdi says maybe Even is just somewhere he can’t talk right now. (Which was accurate, seeing as Even was probably hauling ass over to Isak’s apartment.)

Poor Isak, you could see how he was getting hopeful and feeling better when this whole texting idea started, he was proud of himself for being proactive and putting his foot down with Even’s indecisiveness, he had a little smile and some light in his eyes. And now, the resignation is seeping in. Tarjei does a lot of these smaller reactions so well. Isak is still smiling a little, but it’s bitter, he’s telling them that Even is going to flake again. I mean, I’m not even sure Isak is totally convinced that Even won’t respond. I feel like he does still have that spark of hope, he’s just trying to tamp it down. He knows Even has a history of running hot and cold and he doesn’t want to get too optimistic.

Guys, I’m so emotional about these kids. Tarjei is such a good actor that all of his micro-expressions are giving me pinpricks to my heart. And I’ve seen this a million times and I know that in less than five minutes Isak’s going to be shaking off his virginity like he’s a golden retriever come in from the rain, BUT. But I feel so bad for this kid and his disappointed face.

And the rest of the boys, too. They’re there with their friend Isak getting his heart broken. Even, you’re letting down not just the man of your life, but the whole crew!!!

The other boys try to make some conversation about other topics but Isak just sits there, checking his phone again. At this point, watching the clip for the first time, I definitely thought Even was headed over to Isak’s - no way could they have this random conversation about fermenting beer at school without something big to interrupt it. Also, we hadn’t seen Even at all this week, so he probably had to make an appearance. Still, that wait? Feels like forever.

THAT DOORBELL RING, YESSSSSS. Didn’t our hearts leap up at that simple sound?

How Even got there so fast is such a mystery, too. I guess he doesn’t live that far away, and he could have taken his bike, but I mean, he’s literally there in two minutes after Isak sends the Chiller hjemme text. Two minutes! Sometimes it takes me two minutes just to put on my shoes and leave the house.

I kind of like the idea that maybe Even was already in the neighborhood, or out for a walk or something, trying to work up the courage to go over to Isak. There’s an Instagram post from Magnus of the boys drinking in the kitchen, so if Even happened to see it, he could recognize it as Isak’s kitchen, he could know Isak was at home, he might find himself wandering in that direction….

Lmao, I love them asking Isak if he invited more people and Isak being like, nah, you guys are the only friends I have. It’s kind of self-deprecating but uh … also true. And of course that’s why it was important for these bros to accept Isak’s sexuality.

The boys are really into saying Eskild’s name for some reason, they do it in episode 2 as well. WHERE IS MY ESKILD/BOY SQUAD INTERACTION. I wrote this in the episode 2 recap but I want to know what the boys thought of Eskild, especially prior to Isak coming out, because that probably would have influenced Isak’s attitude toward coming out to his friends?

We don’t get a shot of Even standing outside the building, even though it would be within Isak’s POV. I’m assuming because it would have been too complicated or time-consuming to film for just a short shot. Or maybe for Dramatic purposes, it’s more striking to just have Even appear after the week by smoldering in the doorway, and it heightens Isak’s brief anxiety by keeping Even’s reveal in suspense. But what do you suppose Even was doing outside as he waited? Bouncing up and down nervously as he tends to do? Hands in his pockets? Panting from getting to Isak as fast as he could?

Speaking of Drama, lmao how dramatic is Even, that he just SHOWS UP, in the time it takes to make toaster strudel, with no warning? Hypothetically he could’ve texted I’m coming over to Isak, but of course that would ruin the intended effect of Even just landing at Isak’s door. It’s such a cinematic movie. I think love of movies is so ingrained into Even’s personality that sometimes he just does what a romantic comedy protagonist would do.

Or else Even was just not thinking anything but Isak Isak Isak must get to Isak and didn’t even consider anything but getting his ass in motion. Which frankly, I think is quite likely!

This is a very minor point but the way this clip was filmed always throws me when Isak gets up and we see how tiny the table is. They show it at the start of the clip, but the texting debate feels like some knights of the round table shit in terms of importance. It feels like it should be way bigger and instead they’re sitting at this little square.

The boys are so delighted that Even is there. And it makes me laugh so hard that Magnus is excited about getting to meet Even, L M A O. I mean, even if he assumed that Isak and Even were just going to have a long talk and not bang it out, how awkward would that have been? Who wants to meet your friend’s sorta-maybe-potential boyfriend when they’re presumably about to have a serious discussion about the fragile state of their relationship?

And of course Isak is like FUCK THAT about his friends meeting Even right then and there. Tarjei’s delivery of, “You can’t meet him, what the fuck are you saying?” is perhaps underrated in its comedy.

Lmao, Isak gets so cranky here, too, he went from soft “Smiley?” Isak to RARRRRR grumpy teenage boy in like two seconds. All thanks to Even’s presence, of course!

Bless Jonas yet again for just immediately starting to pack up, no questions asked.

This is a Romeo + Juliet song when the boys start leaving ( “Local God” by Everclear”). I believe it was used in the film when Romeo and his crew are hanging out, so it’s a bro song. We don’t hear any of the lyrics in the clip but they sure are interesting:

I feel just like a local god when I'm with the boys. We do what we want, yes, we do what we want. I feel just like a local god when I'm with the boys. We do what we want, yes, we do what we want. We do what we want. Yeah, we do what we want. Be my Romeo, Tell me all about your love, Tell me all about your pain, Baited breath and rubber gloves. Be my Romeo, My go-go Romeo, I see you twist and turn, You look so fuckin' stupid.

So yes, bro song with direct mentions of Romeo.

All the chaos and casual catastrophe of the boys getting up to leave, I love it. It’s all the typical stuff when you leave a party - where’s my phone, where are my shoes, what’s happening, etc.

Also that Isak herds them out the back door, he really does not want Even to meet them, it’s gonna be too awkward and it’ll be anything but chill if Even knows Isak sent his friends away to get some alone time with Even.

“These aren’t even my shoes!” I LOVE THEM SO MUCH, I truly love these teenage failboats with all my heart.

They are champs for leaving when Isak asked them to, like even with all the confusion this was relatively swift and efficient.

Oh my God, guys. When Isak shuts the door, "Local God” (the song associated with his friends) instantly stops, and he is left there alone, for just a second, and the opening of Lykke Li’s “Tonight” starts … I get butterflies in my stomach. Isak is nervous, I’m nervous, we’re all nervous. What good directing from Julie, switching so quickly from a comedic mood to this vulnerable romantic mood, and how she can do that in just a few seconds with some well-chosen music and a moment to breathe.

Yeah, that moment to breathe, from Isak … where he shuts the door and looks toward the other side where Even is knocking, and takes just a brief pause to collect himself, and you can see how unsure of himself he is … good acting, good directing, just. Good.

AND THEN HE OPENS THE DOOR AND EVEN LOOKS LIKE THAT

I honestly do not feel Isak opened the door with the intention of getting laid, or that Even came over with the intention of getting laid. Especially Even, actually. I think Even really just panicked at the thought of losing Isak and ran over. It’s possible that maybe Even was even going to explain a bit - I don’t know if he was going to go over everything, necessarily, but I think Even wanted to make some things clear - that he wasn’t with Sonja, or that he wanted to be with Isak. I don’t know how he would have brought up his bipolar disorder though I guess it’s possible he could have pushed himself to do so. And maybe in that little pause moment, before Isak opened the door, he thought to himself about the possibilities of what could happen when they were alone, but it was wrapped up in every other uncertainty or fear, such as Even dumping him or saying he wanted to end it, or that he couldn’t leave Sonja. But it all changed when Isak opened the door and they looked at each other; they had missed each other so much and wanted each other so much that talk wasn’t happening.

Even looks really rattled and vulnerable when Isak first opens the door, I’m sure he’s thinking over how he’s going to explain himself, maybe psyching himself up to disclose his mental illness, as mentioned. But he softens a little when he registers Isak, because despite everything, it’s Isak.

Isak is trying to keep it together and play it cool at first and then Even Hallas at him a few octaves lower than normal so that’s not happening. Lawd, Henrik.

Even starts to look a little hesitant and nervous again as they pause too long at the door, like, oh right, I ran over here without a clear invitation. Is this okay? Am I welcome? Should I go?

But obviously Isak is just like, fuck it, and goes in for the kiss. CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT. Isak initiated the kiss, Isak has been proactive throughout the evening, Isak is more assured in his sexuality that he can do this.

You know what else has experienced character development? Isak’s tongue.

The first time I watched that part I think my eyebrows legit jumped off my face. No offense but gay storylines on TV frequently feature dry, tight-lipped, no-homo kissing so it’s nice when actors actually kiss like they mean it. Isak and Even really want each other, it’s believable.

But seriously, this is actual progress for Isak and demonstrates that he’s more grounded and confident in his sexuality.

That moment when they break off the kiss for just a second - I’m pretty sure it’s Even who breaks it off to look at Isak, as if to ask whether he’s sure he wants this. And Isak wastes barely any time before diving back in, by way of an answer. Not gonna lie, that moment when characters stop kissing to look at each other, searching for an answer in the other’s face, is one of those romance tropes that I enjoy, so this was a good scene for me.

Even lost his denim jacket somewhere between the front hallway and Isak’s bedroom, by the way. I’m just imagining Eskild or Noora stepping over it when they got home and being like, yep, Isak had a busy night. (Linn would probably step on the jacket and not notice.)

Even shoves Isak against a wall because he is living that fanfic life.

Kudos once again to Tarjei and Henrik because they really keep kissing and stay in their character’s passionate mindset. There’s a moment where they sort of break off to start undressing and Even swoops in for another brief kiss - it feels like these two seriously can’t stop kissing, they want to be kissing, and it’s a small moment but it makes it feel like they genuinely desire each other.

Lol, Even was going to take off his hoodie first but then decided to divest Isak of his shirt, what a gentleman.

I don’t know why I love that snapback coming off but I do. It’s just funny to me in a way? Like the snapback would get knocked off anyway when Isak took off his shirt but he’s instead he has to make a Moment of it. You know shit’s getting real when the hat comes off.

This bit that goes from against the wall to in the middle of the room shirtless (they moved around!) is just so tender??? Like that bit where Even taps Isak’s lip with his thumb and gets in a quick nose rub. What the fuck.

I mentioned this in my episode 5 review but this scene is what made up the footage in the mysterious hiatus trailer that had everyone in a tizzy for 10 days, except not all of the footage in that trailer made it into this clip, so there’s extra Evak sex scene footage out there. I am sure this would be of interest to no one, obviously.

Not to be weird but I legit think it is nice that Tarjei is doing this scene with this large zit on his forehead because that’s OK! People don’t have perfect skin when they have sex.

I feel like Isak is having a spiritual experience when Even goes down his body, like he’s not even entirely there. Is this happening to me???

Also, totally a callback to the very first scene of the season, when Emma tries to blow Isak in the bathroom and he’s not having it. He does not express such reluctance when Even goes down on him. A+ narrative parallels, Julie, A+.

But this was a really good first time scene (if you believe, as I do, that this was their first time together) and a lovely sex scene that wasn’t either too exploitative or too coy. The Evak sex scenes are handled very well in this season.

And Lykke Li’s “Tonight” was a gooooood choice. How simple and painful is the desire behind those lyrics. You can just imagine how Isak and Even have been missing each other and pining, and how this song expresses the feeling that they don’t want to let each other go. And all this emotion goes unspoken, tonight they’re not going to talk about their heartbreak, tonight they’re just going to show each other all that pent-up longing.

But also, the end song over the credits, “Crave” by Pharrell Williams??? Spectacular. We watch this emotional scene set to this incredibly sweet song full of longing and vulnerability and then the credit song is just like … sex. Sex is a thing that is happening. It is the equivalent of an eyebrows waggle and a suggestive wink. Bet you can guess what they were doing after the credits rolled!

I love this show so much, oh my God.

Social Media/General Comments:

The text that Isak sends in reply to Even’s cheese toastie drawing seems so polite, like Isak rewrote it a million times trying to decide on the right tone and phrasing and everything and finally went for something very neutral, trying to reestablish the conversation between the two of them without seeming too eager.

Eskild sends Isak a long-ish text after their talk on Sunday, where he basically strives to give Isak more encouragement. You can tell he really thought over what he said to Isak because he truly wants to be helpful to him and be a good guru. He realizes Isak is young and probably in his first relationship with a guy, and Eskild can’t help but feel protective and not want Isak to get his heart broken. It’s honestly such a sweet message, because Eskild is first and foremost looking out for Isak’s well-being. Like … there’s a thing in media (and fanfic, sometimes) where a character’s friends are more concerned with making sure their romance works out, rather than whether this romance is right and good for the friend. Isak’s friends in this season are supportive of Evak, but they’re Team Isak first, and they’re not afraid to tell Isak when they think Even is doing Isak dirty or when it might not work out. See also: Jonas in this week’s Fredag clip.

Anyway, Eskild tells Isak how happy he is that Isak came to him for advice, and that’s beautiful. It’s supportive of Isak relying on his friends rather than bottling up his feelings. And he says that he thinks Isak is brave- incredible, show-stopping, spectacular, etc. I mean telling Isak he is brave? What a wonderful thing to say to a kid who’s still in the early stages of coming out and is dealing with a ton of insecurities. Eskild is the fucking best, guys.

But he’s also offering to hook up Isak with someone and help him move on to another guy if that’s what Isak wants, lol. Getting in his jab about tights and mascara but in a good-natured way.

You know who else is the fucking best? Jonas. Isak texts him about the rumors with Even spreading and Jonas is so supportive and sweet, offering to talk to the guys for Isak and telling him not to stress over it. With a heart emoji, no less ❤️

Isak also decides that he should be the one to tell the guys. My brave boy!

Jonas also posts an IG on the same day of the text with him and Isak as Simon & Garfunkel, with the hashtag #bros. Basically a show of support for Isak. Like. CAN YOU BELIEVE. My heart gets so warm thinking about these kids. Skam is a space heater for my soul.

Text between Kollektivet where Linn does not want to leave on Friday and Eskild is dragging Linn out of her cave. I mean, sometimes you want to chill, but this is probably good for Linn. Get her out of the house.

Text between the boy squad after Isak comes out to all of them. They’re able to rib him about his “family dinner” so things are back to normal.

I want to mention that Isak uses a Broad City gif. I don’t know if Isak actually watches Broad City, but the idea is pretty funny.

I know Magnus can be dense as hell but he uses a gif of Sam Rockwell in Galaxy Quest in response to Isak’s drag and like, Galaxy Quest is the greatest film of all time so clearly Magnus is a man of superior taste and intellect.

PS he says something that translates to “never giving up hope” and I’m going to take that he meant “never give up, never surrender.”

Mahdi says Friday is going to be nice because “bros united.” Awwww! That’s especially nice coming from him since he and Isak had the friction; I feel like this is his way of saying he’s really over what happened between them and he just wanted them all to be OK.

I remember when this episode was airing in real time, people had a lot of theories about what would happen on Friday. Jonas mentions an Elvebakken party and Magnus mentions a gay bar. I remember people thinking they might go to the Elvebakken and see Even, or hear about Even’s past from Bakka people, or that they’d go to the gay bar and Isak would hook up with someone or run into Even or something. Instead Isak never made it out of his apartment, lmao.

Also, Magnus being like, “I’m up for a gay bar” is not hurting my bi Magnus headcanon at all. I know, I know, he’s that bumbling straight friend. Still!

Isak texts Eskild about his second drawing and Eskild is like, “Play hard to get.” Which obviously did not work on Friday. He also calls Isak his little godkitten which is. Adorable.

As I mentioned above, Magnus posted a pic of the boy squad at the pre-drink and that’s why I think Even might have seen it and moseyed over in that direction and was already lurking in the vicinity, as to account for him showing up so fast.

#skam reactions #skam season 3 #skam #isak valtersen #evak

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