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dc41896 · 3 years

Text

What You Want

Was watching Civil War and thought of this idea☺️. Hope you guys like it!

Pairing: Steve RogersxBlack Reader

⚠️: Bit of angst, mentions of death, fluff

Just hearing his short sniffles through the phone make you quickly stop typing as worry and fear fills your body.

“Steve, what’s wrong? You okay?”

“She’s gone,” he spoke just above a whisper.

“Who?”

“Peggy.”

In your short month of dating, Steve hadn’t gone too deep into detail about him and Peggy. You knew she was a very close friend and someone of major importance in his life. He honestly didn’t have to tell you though, since you could see that for yourself. Before Sam’s meetings, you could overhear the two men from your help desk talking a bit further up the hall about his earlier visit and how she was doing that day. Sometimes he’d have to leave early to go see her after getting calls from the nurse saying how she wouldn’t do anything they told her and kept asking for him.

The last part being the reason how you met after he accidentally swung the door open a bit too hard hitting your shoulder. He profusely apologized asking if you were hurt and even looked over the injured body part to see for himself. You insisted you were fine and even apologized yourself for being too close to the door in the first place, but he continued with his apologies.

The next day he arrived about 30 minutes early with a cupcake sealed in a small, plastic case and a single red carnation apologizing, yet again, for hurting your shoulder. This led to you both talking before and after meetings, getting coffee, and eventually your first date.

“I’m so sorry Steve. Give me a few minutes, I’ll be over soon.”

“You don’t have to. I’m at the compound right now, plus I-I know you’re probably busy.”

“I’m not. And even if I was, right now you’re more important.”

Miraculously, you can hear a smile break through his tears making you softly smile yourself.

“Thanks. You still don’t have to worry about coming to see me though.”

“You sure?”

“Yea, but only because I um think I’d rather be at your place. I-If that’s okay with you?”

“Of course. I’ll go ahead and order food so it’ll be here by the time you come.”

Sure enough, by the time Steve arrived at your door you had just finished removing the containers of Chinese from the paper bag they arrived in. Eyes and cheeks red, you immediately hug your arms around his waist as soon as he walks through the door. He tried to be strong, but feeling your warmth against him along with how sweet and caring you were only made him break down more.

Leading him to the couch, you spread one of your throw blankets across both of your laps before getting a tissue to wipe his tears. As you gently rubbed his back, he told you more about his relationship with Peggy and how finding out she was still alive when he thought he had no one only made her more important. Since then, he’d found out about Bucky being alive too, which came with its own complications, but now that she was gone, it was like a piece of him left too.

You finally got him to eat after a while longer of talking, and even watched a funny movie to try to get his mind off things. Before you could offer to cut on something else, you notice his closed eyes with head propped on his arm. He looked so peaceful as his long lashes sat against his skin with lips slightly parted, that you hated to wake him after the emotional day he had.

“Steve,” you gently speak rubbing his upper arm until his blue eyes slowly appeared. “Wake up, it’s late.”

He sits up with a stretch, covering a hand over his mouth to yawn before looking down at his watch.

“Oh you’re right, sorry.”

“No you’re fine,” you smile standing along side him as he starts to clean up the empty and half eaten boxes of food. “I can take care of it, you don’t have to do that.”

“After everything you’ve done it’s the least I could do,” he smiles putting what food he can together in one container and anything else by itself before throwing away the trash. “Thank you again Y/N for being there.”

“You don’t have to thank me. I’m just trying to do what I can to help.”

As you both finish in the kitchen, you feel like a ball of butterflies going back and forth with yourself on if you should say what’s been on your mind.

“Well, I’ll see you later then,” he states before kissing your temple and then moving to your lips.

“Um, actually Steve?,” you start, holding onto his hand and making him instinctively come closer.

“If you want, you can stay here tonight? It’s pretty late and I don’t want you traveling alone. I mean not that anyone would mess with you, because you’re you,” you nervously laugh. “But still. Plus I-I wouldn’t feel right with you being alone right now.”

Clear blue eyes seemingly peering into your soul, you clear your throat becoming fearful that maybe he thought you were overstepping.

“I-If it’s too early on though, I completely understand. Or if you want to be alone for a while that’s fine too.”

“No no, I uh really appreciate you looking out for me like that,” he answers with a small smile as he peers down at your intertwined hands. “It’s been a while since I had someone besides the Avengers doing that for me.”

“Well, I care about you and just want to make sure you’re good.” Eyes meeting yours, his smile widens before closing the remaining gap between the two of you. His larger, slightly calloused hand caresses your cheek as you let him gently tilt your head to gain better access to your waiting lips. Slow, but not painfully so, his lips moving with yours make you feel as if the perfect ray of sun has somehow managed to touch every single surface of your body instantly warming you.

As you both lied under your covers the rest of the night, his head resting on your chest and palm splayed against your back while you carefully raked your fingers through his hair, Steve never felt so safe. It seemed crazy to admit so early, but with every occasional peck you left on his forehead you felt more and more like home. The home he’d been missing since he woke up all those years ago in a different time among those of a completely new generation.

And you felt just as comfortable with your legs tangled in his while he securely held onto you, as if he didn’t want to let you go. Smiling to yourself hearing his soft snores, you can only hope that this feeling never leaves.

———

So far, the service was nice. It seemed as though the entire New York area was in attendance from the packed pews in the large church. If it wasn’t for Steve being a close friend, neither he, Sam, nor yourself probably would’ve been able to sit.

Although in the midst of a somber moment, you were holding everything together well until you watched him carry in her casket with the other pallbearers. The tears streaming down his red cheeks immediately triggered your own as if you could personally feel the ache in his heart as he said a final goodbye to his first love.

Your arm stays wrapped around his and his hand holding onto yours during the priest’s words of how courageous, adventurous, strong willed, and overall wonderful a woman Ms. Carter was. This makes a small smile appear on his face at their memories as he blinks away more tears.

“Next, with a few words of her own, we’ll hear from Ms. Sharon Carter,” the priest announces causing Steve to visibly stiffen along with Sam.

“You okay?,” you whisper leaning closer to his ear.

“Yea, everything’s fine.”

Judging from the look he and Sam gave each other before looking back towards the front of the church though, that wasn’t the case.

You intently listened to Sharon’s eulogy and the stories she told about the lessons she’d learned from her favorite aunt that helped her become who she was today, but you couldn’t help but notice the way she looked towards your pew. Specifically, at Steve.

Glancing your eyes up at him, you could see his had the same look leaving you with a heartache of your own.

Clearly there was history between the two, which left you wondering what that would mean for you. Sure they weren’t obviously sending flirty glances towards each other, but who knows what Steve was currently thinking.

What if this old flame brought back newfound feelings?

As the funeral ended and the pews began to empty one by one, the three of you are stopped by someone calling Steve’s name.

“Steve, hey,” Sharon smiles walking up to your small group.

“H-hey Sharon.” He momentarily leaves your side giving her a probably much needed hug. Watching her head fall on his shoulder as he comfortingly rubs up and down her back, that ache strengthens as your mind begins to race.

What if Sharon was who he was meant to be with? They both had military ties in some form and must’ve had a strong enough connection during their time. Surely he found more in common with her than you.

You hadn’t noticed you dropped your head looking down at your black heels until you felt a slight nudge from Sam giving you a reassuring wink.

“Sharon you remember Sam,” Steve speaks gesturing to the man beside you.

“Of course, hi.”

“Hey, I’m sorry for your loss,” he says also giving her a hug.

“And this is Y/N,” Steve introduces as you quickly try to get out of your head.

“Nice to meet you, Y/N. I wish it was under better circumstances.”

“No worries, it’s nice to meet you too. Your eulogy was really beautiful,” you softly smile.

“Thank you. I’m glad I was able to get through it holding everything together.”

“Peggy would’ve been proud,” Steve adds causing Sharon to shyly smile, tucking a few stray strands of her long, blonde hair behind her ear before meeting his eyes.

“Well I uh need to see if the plot at the graveyard is ready for her,” she explains taking turns looking at each of you. “Thank you all so much for coming to pay your respects.”

“Let me walk with you in case you need any help,” Steve suggests.

“Um sure, thanks.”

“Of course,” he replies before stepping towards you. “I’ll meet you back at your place okay?”

“Yea that’s fine.”

Sweetly kissing your cheek, you muster the best smile you can as he and Sharon walk side by side out of the church leaving you and Sam as the only people left.

“Welp, looks like we’ve been ditched,” he sighs.

“Yea guess we weren’t cool enough.”

“Psh more like too cool.” Holding his arm out for you to hook yours around, you laugh as you both walk out to the gloomy, cloud covered sky waiting outside.

By the time Steve returned to your apartment that evening, it was just before dark. He called on his way asking if you were hungry or needed him to get anything, to which you answered a simple “no” still trying to sound okay.

As if you hadn’t been wondering since you walked through your door where yours and Steve’s relationship now stood with his interaction with Sharon earlier.

While you felt you were convincing, it wasn’t enough for the super soldier whose enhanced hearing seemed to pick up on the slight wavering in your voice from your recently released tears. You didn’t want to cry and tried everything to stop them from happening, but at the thought of Steve leaving you couldn’t help it. You really liked him and wanted you guys to last as long as you could.

A faint soapy smell wafts from the bathroom as he opens the door, now dressed in his white tank and dark grey sweatpants. Hair still wet, he rubs his towel over his short blonde locs gazing at you peering down at your hands as you play with the seam of the white comforter across you. The soft smile on his face quickly turns to concern though meeting your eyes that didn’t seem as bright anymore.

“You okay?”

“Yea. How about you? How are you feeling after everything?”

“I’m fine, but I’m more concerned with you right now,” he answers neatly folding the towel before moving to your side of the bed and sitting next to your legs. Right hand finding your covered leg while his left reaches out to glide his thumb against your cheek, his sympathetic smile nearly causes more unwanted tears to show.

“You know you can talk to me.”

There’s a brief pause as you sigh trying to find your words and exactly how you wanted to say them.

“Is that why you didn’t want me to come with you?,” you finally ask earning a confused head tilt from Steve. “Because she would be there?”

“What? No of course not, I didn’t even know she was going nor that they were related. And I never said I didn’t want you to go, I said you didn’t have to and didn’t want you to feel obligated since you didn’t know Peggy.”

“I never would’ve felt like that. She was your friend, plus I went to support you.” There you were again, always finding some way to warm his heart when he felt at his lowest. “Everything was okay with the plot?”

“Yea, she’s next to her husband with a few of the flowers from the funeral near her headstone. After I helped her with that, I made sure Sharon got in her place okay and we sat and talked for a while.”

He didn’t have to tell you everything that happened, but you appreciated him being so open with you.

“From the glances between you two during her speech, I um assume you guys dated?,” you carefully ask watching him nod.

“Briefly, yes.”

“And seeing her probably brought back memories....” Scooting closer taking your cold hands in his, he bends down kissing your knuckles before turning them over to show the same attention to your wrists.

“It did, but it’s not making me forget about those that I’ve made recently,” he smiles. “Is that why you’re upset? That I left with her?”

“No I-I...ugh it’s dumb honestly.”

“I doubt it is. Tell me.”

Sinking down nearly hiding your whole body under the sheets, your groan nearly makes him laugh as your eyes and top of your head peek out from the covers.

“I’m not upset you left with her, I just..started thinking that maybe what you had with her would make you want to go back. Which I would completely understand, I mean I’m sure you guys have a lot in common, plus bottom line it’s your choice-,”

“Y/N,” he interrupts pulling the cover down to see your nervous face. “Yea Sharon and I have things in common and had a good time together, but in the end it didn’t work. Nothing against her, but going back is the last thing on my mind. Especially since something new has taken up most of its space.”

“The Avengers,” you answer making him chuckle.

“Not exactly.”

Leaning down, his lips approaching yours tell you what, or better yet who, he was actually referring to. His minty flavored lips molding with yours as your hand finds the back of his neck, his hand on your hip moving you over to make room for his larger body causes you to giggle momentarily breaking your moment.

“Um you’re on my side of the bed..,” you smirk.

“Like you really care,” he smirks back playfully nuzzling his nose into your cheek. “As many times as you’ve wandered over to my side.”

Meeting his lips one last time, you both settle in your usual positions with his face lying in the crook of your neck as you raked through his hair with legs tangled together. Although Steve would surely be sound asleep at any moment from the gradual slowing of his finger mindlessly drawing near your shoulder blade, you didn’t know if you’d be able to having his words replaying in your mind.

“I’m really always on your mind?,” you whisper, more so speaking out loud in disbelief than expecting an answer.

“All day and night,” Steve groggily answers with sleep already set in his voice before he pecks along your collarbone.

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#stevexblackreader #stevexwoc #stevexreader #steve rogers #captain america #the avengers #chrisxblackreader #chrisxwoc #chrisxreader #chris evans

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dc41896 · 4 years

Text

In Due Time

Pairing: Steve RogersxBlack Reader

⚠️: None, all fluff🥰!

“Y-You’re sure this is right?,” he asks looking over the directions from the small box.

“Yes, I read over it multiple times.”

“And it’s 100% certain?”

“I still have to make an appointment with the doctor to officially confirm it, but from these three positives I think it’s safe to say I’m pregnant.”

Eyes red but bright from excitement, Steve wraps his arms around you deeply kissing your lips. “We’re gonna be parents,” he smiles as you wipe away his tears.

“Yea love, we are.”

Gently rocking you from side to side, he stares down at the three sticks on the marble countertop. While he was excited for this new journey with you, something deep inside him worried about if everything would be okay.

Although he always wanted kids, he was a bit apprehensive now being with the Avengers. Plus having the super soldier serum coursing through him, he wasn’t sure if that could potentially pose any problems to you or the baby. Being pulled from his thoughts, he feels you guiding his chin so he could look into your soft eyes. “Hey what’s wrong?”

“Nothing, I’m fine just...thinking.”

“Of...?,” you softly giggle messing with his collar. “Come sit.”

Sitting next to you at the foot of the bed, his eyes stay focused on his fidgeting hands slightly worrying you. “Steve if you don’t think you’re ready-,”

“What? No! No angel, I’ve wanted this since forever and I’m definitely ready! It’s just...I really hope our baby takes after you; healthy, beautiful, smart, funny.”

“Aww that’s very sweet, but why just mine? You have plenty of features I’d want them to have.”

“Even if they’re like me pre-serum?,” he sighs, eyes beginning to water again. “I don’t want them to go through everything I did.”

“I wish I could tell you that wouldn’t happen, but we won’t know until the baby’s here. What I can tell you though is that if they are they will still get all the love in the world from both of us and we’ll figure everything out as we get to it.”

Taking his hand, you place it over your abdomen making him smile as he wipes a tear from his cheek. “Everything will be ok.” Bringing you closer to him, he lies back on the bed grazing his fingertips up and down your back as your head lies on his chest hearing his relaxed heartbeat.

“So, how are we gonna tell the team?”

“Who says we have to tell them?”

“We don’t, but I think my absence from the lab and my mid section growing to the size of a watermelon may give it away,” you laugh. “Come on they’re family, we can’t keep this from them.”

“You’re right, we’ll tell them when the time is right. I don’t want this somehow getting to Fury and he ship you guys off somewhere to be tested or something.”

“I think you’re worrying too much love, but ok we’ll tell them later. And then you can meet all your aunts and uncles,” you smile looking down at your stomach and making Steve lightly chuckle before kissing your forehead.

*4 months later*

Putting on his leather jacket, Steve grabs the keys to his motorcycle hurriedly trying to leave the Stark compound after his shorter than usual training session. He was due to meet you at your appointment 10 minutes ago, but trying not to seem too suspicious with his actions, he knew he had to at least stay and train for a while.

Hand on the door, he thought he was in the clear until being caught by Bruce.

“You’re not staying for the meeting with Fury?”

“I can’t today, I have an appointment to get to.”

“Oh, you okay? Do I need to get Tony?,” he asks concerned.

“Yea I’m fine, I just have to meet Sam to talk about some stuff. Fill me in on everything I need from the meeting though.”

“Yea yea of course. Oh, how’s Y/N doing? We haven’t seen her in a while and miss her in the lab.”

“She’s fine, just taking a little vacation time to herself, but I’ll let her know you asked about her. If anyone asks tell them where I went.”

“Okay, will do,” Bruce replies watching him walk out the door to his bike. Making his way to the conference room, he pulls out his phone to see a text from Sam himself.

Sam: Hey I’ll be at the compound in a few minutes

Bruce: How? I thought you were meeting Cap...

Sam: Not that I know of. Unless I forgot...Hold on let me check

“Huh that’s weird.”

“What’s weird?,” Tony asks stopping beside him holding his titanium mug.

“Oh uh Steve said he couldn’t make it to the meeting because he had to meet Sam, yet Sam just texted me saying he was on his way here.”

“Hmm that is weird. You know Rogers has been acting off lately, but I can’t exactly figure it out. We’ll look into it later though, can’t keep Fury waiting or else,” Tony responds miming his neck being sliced as he crosses his eyes making Bruce chuckle while following behind.

———

“Oh good! You’re just in time for the ultrasound Mr. Rogers,” Dr. Schwartz smiles as Steve quietly walks through the door.

“Sorry I’m late, work issues,” he apologetically smiles immediately sitting beside you and holding your hand after pecking your lips.

“It’s okay! You made it which is all that matters.”

Rubbing the cold jelly over your stomach, you slightly wince as a chill comes over your body. “I know it’s cold I’m sorry.”

“You’d think by now they’d have one that’s warm,” you laugh along with the doctor.

“Yea that’s what a lot of my patients say,” she smiles moving the device along your abdomen. “And here are your twins!”

Watching the two tiny bodies on the screen, you feel your heart race as their respective heartbeats fill the room making a bright smile span across your lips. “Wow that’s really them,” you speak just above a whisper as he leans in to kiss your temple.

“Yep and they look healthy, heartbeats sound good, and dad I already know what you’re gonna ask and Baby A seems to have a healthy length and weight while Baby B is a little smaller in comparison. But don’t worry that’s something that can happen with twins seeing that one may get more food than the other.”

“And is there anyway we can tell now if they might have any respiratory issues or if their DNA is altered?,” he asks gently squeezing your hand.

“The best way we can tell is after delivery. As soon as they’re here, we can test them on all of those things and see if we find anything concerning if you both elect to do that,” she answers wiping the gel off your stomach. “But you guys have a while so you don’t have to decide right now. I’m gonna go get these printed off for you so I’ll be back in a moment.”

Leaving you both in the now quiet room, Steve helps you sit up and pull your shirt down over your belly while you raise the band of your pants over the base of your stomach. Vibrating back to back on the chair next to him, he ignores the device and instead whispers to his unborn babies.

“Steve, you might want to see if that’s important.”

“I can get it later, you guys are more important.”

“What if it’s an emergency?” Sighing, he lightly taps under your chin with a smile before picking up his phone and reading through his messages. “Anything happen?”

“No it’s just Tony and Nat asking questions,” he replies putting it back in his pocket.

“I think it might be time to tell them love, I feel like they’re getting suspicious.”

“Mm I don’t know, maybe we should wait longer.”

“Well if you’re phone is gonna be going off like that all day and night I’m sorry but I’d go to the compound and tell them myself just to stop it,” you laugh as he shakes his head.

“Okay, we’ll do it when there’s a bit of down time and not any missions coming up.”

“Deal?,” you ask extending your hand in his direction making him chuckle while joining his hand with yours.

“Deal.”

*5 months later*

“What do you mean you can’t go?!,” Fury sternly asks watching Steve place his shield down and remove his cowl. “What could you possibly have to do that’s more important?”

“I’m sorry, but I can’t tell you.”

Scoffing, he turns to look at Tony who just shrugs. “Stark get your Captain please and remind him his job really isn’t up for debate.”

“I probably won’t be any help, but I’ll try,” he replies jogging upstairs to Steve’s room.

“Alright what’s going on Cap? First you were missing meetings and now you’re about to drop a whole mission?”

“Tony I wish I could be there but I can’t.” Pulling his black long sleeve shirt over his head, he grabs his keys off the dresser attempting to step beside his teammate only to be blocked in.

“Cap whatever it is I’m sure it can wait. If I don’t come down these stairs with you in your uniform Fury will kill the both of us and make it look like an unfortunate accident. Do you want that?”

Sighing, Steve manages to slide beside Tony making his way downstairs.

“So your turning your back on the team? Your family?,” Tony calls from the top step making Steve stop in his tracks.

“I’m sorry Tony,” he replies before rushing out the front door just as Vision meets Tony at the bottom of the steps.

“I take it Mr. Rogers still won’t be joining us?”

“No, not this time. But he’s not getting away that easily,” he answers pulling out his smartphone. “Vision I’m gonna need your help.”

———

“Sawyer and Sutton you both are more beautiful than I could’ve ever imagined,” Steve smiles holding a baby in each arm. “They look just like you angel.”

“Hmm I don’t know...I see mostly see you,” you answer watching as he gently rocks the sleeping twins.

“Mr. and Mrs. Rogers, you have a few guests here for you,” the nurse politely announces before Tony makes his entrance with Pepper and the rest of the team on his heels.

“I hear congratulations are in order for some lucky parents! We only wish we would’ve known sooner.”

“Y/N wanted to tell you guys earlier, but I told her to wait until I felt the time was right. If you want to be mad at anybody then be mad at me,” he answers placing the boys back in their respective warmed isolettes.

“Cap we’re not mad, just still a little lost on why it took this long,” Natasha adds leaning by the window.

“He thought somehow it’d get back to Fury and we all know how he can get sometimes. Plus we weren’t sure if the serum would potentially affect me or the boys so we wanted all the details first.”

“And did it?,” Bruce asks adjusting his glasses.

“No they’re all fine as of right now, we’ll see if anything happens with the twins though as they get older. How did you guys find out?”

“When you left, Vision and I were able to track you using the cameras throughout the city. We saw you both pull into the hospital and saw a very pregnant Y/N which made everything make sense, also sorry for what I said about turning your back on us. If I would’ve known-,”

“It’s okay, like you said you didn’t know. None of you guys did,” he replies sitting on the bed beside you.

“So can we get an introduction to the newest members of the team? We brought presents!,” Sam smiles as he and others hold up the bags they were holding.

“Of course! On the left we have Sawyer Steven Rogers and on the right is Sutton Grant Rogers,” you smile.

“They’re beautiful,” Wanda gushes with Vision’s arm around her.

“I wouldn’t be able to tell them apart from how identical they are,” Rhodey chuckles along with everyone else.

“At first we were afraid of that too, but once they opened their eyes we found out Sutton has mine and Sawyer has Y/N’s brown ones, which will definitely help.”

As if on cue, Sawyer begins to stir with bright eyes taking in his surroundings as he begins to whine.

“Uh oh sounds like someone’s hungry,” Pepper smiles watching Steve carefully pick him up to give to you.

“He’s not the only one. Hey since we’re out can we get Shawarma? Maybe the tiny person would like some too!,” Thor suggests making you giggle.

“I don’t think that’s what he’s in the mood for but thanks for the offer.”

“Alright lets leave the new parents be. Do you guys want us to pick up anything for you?,” Bucky asks as everyone heads towards the door.

“No we just ate not too long ago, but thanks,” Steve stands to walk them out. Telling the both of you congrats as they walk out, Steve softly closes the door behind them turning to see you feeding Sawyer while humming a lullaby.

“Why’s daddy staring at us huh?,” you smirk at Steve walking over to pick up an awake and cooing Sutton before sitting beside you.

“Because I love the three of you so much and hope you know it.”

“And we love you too,” you softly giggle leaning over to kiss his lips.

Taglist: @fumbling-fanfics @honeychicana @honeychicanawrites @lovelymari4 @my-rosegold-soul @themyscxiras @melinda-january @lady-olive-oil @curlyhairclub @renfrewscorner @secretmysteriousperson @plokyu23 @fullofmelaninsarcasmandepression @nunubug99 @felicity-x0 @ellixthea @jojolu @jnk-812 @brwn-sgr @captainsamwlsn @wildfirecracker @nina-sj @iammyownlover @chaneajoyyy

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dc41896 · 4 years

Text

Mission Complete

Pairing: Steve RogersxBlack Reader

⚠️: Mentions of death, slight angst, fluff

“Who knew such power could come from that small human?!,” Thor excitedly announced as you all walked in the Stark compound. “Wait you are only human right?”

“I mean that I know of. Still don’t know a lot about my dad since I never met him.”

Noticing your distressed mood once you entered, everybody silently concluded amongst themselves that you weren’t in the mood to talk. Everyone besides Thor that is.

Not that he was purposely trying to continuously bring it up, you knew he was just excited about your new amazing feat he, and pretty much everyone else on the team, had yet to see.

“I’m calling it now, you’re part alien to do something like that. And I say that in the best way,” he nervously laughs hoping he didn’t offend. “What if you’re a queen or something of your alien home?!”

“Ok, Thor I think Y/N’s heard enough about potentially being part alien,” Natasha responds hoping he would take the hint to leave the topic alone.

“Why am I the only one amazed by what just happened?”

“You mean how I just basically crushed a man to death by using a level of power I’m not supposed to?!,” you frustratedly retort, tears pooling in your eyes. “Trust me, I’m sure everyone else is amazed too.”

Rushing upstairs to your room before any tears could be seen escaping your eyes, all that can be heard by your teammates is the slamming of your door before silence overtakes the area.

“Dude you really gotta learn to read the room,” Rhodey says, shaking his head as he walks towards the lab to discuss new improvements with Tony.

———

Now in an old, oversized Duke sweatshirt and cotton shorts, you lie on your bed bundled under the grey comforter only able to think about the events prior. How you were left face to face with Luften after he managed to evade the others.

How his body instantly discolored and morphed into what looked like a sheet of paper smoothed out after being balled up repeatedly after your hit.

You would try to close your eyes and go to sleep but that would only make it worse and the images stay longer. Tears falling from your eyes onto the grey sheet beneath you, you hear two sets of footsteps approaching your door.

“Steve you’ve talked to plenty of people before, yet now you’re nervous about talking to Y/N? You’re gonna be fine, just use your Cap-ness, it works all the time,” Natasha explained.

“My what? And I’m not nervous I just don’t want to say the wrong thing is all. Plus she may not want to talk to me which is why I wanted you to come with me.”

“I’m sure she just wants someone to comfort her and listen to-,”

“You know, for a soldier and a spy you guys suck at whispering in front of doors,” you interrupt as you widely open your door, surprising them from being caught.

“Sorry Y/N,” Steve nervously scratches the back of his neck as he enters your room.

“Also sorry about Thor, sometimes he can’t catch a hint,” Natasha asks joining Steve to sit at the foot of your bed with you in between both of them.

“It’s ok, I know he didn’t mean anything by going on..and on.”

“Speaking of, do you want to talk about what happened?,” Steve asks, forearms resting on his knees as he turns to meet your tear stained cheek. “It’s ok if you don’t though, take all the time you need.”

With a sigh, you bring your knees to your chest resting your chin on them as you wrap your arms around your legs. “It’s just...when I went full force I know I was helping the team but at the same time I broke a promise I made a long time ago.”

Feeling fresh tears make their way to the surface you quickly duck your head down to hide your face. While these were your teammates whom you had grown to love, you’d be darned to let any of them see you cry. Or anyone for that matter.

“You promised to not use your powers fully?,” Nat asked with a comforting hand on your shoulder.

“That’s part of it, but I promised never to kill. One day when I was small, I was playing outside in the grass while my mom was inside doing something at the table. She heard me scream and came running outside to find me crying pointing down towards literal pieces of a snake. With my scream at that time I mutilated it and scared both of us. She knew if I could do that kind of damage at that age when I got older it’d only be stronger, so one day she sat me down and asked me to promise her I wouldn’t fully use my gift and I wouldn’t kill,” you explain wiping your face with the sleeve of your hoodie.

“I know it sounds stupid and she was just trying to look after kid me so I shouldn’t even care about that promise now, but still it’s just there making me feel guilty.”

Opening his mouth to speak, a dull buzz diverts his and your attention towards Nat as she looks down at her phone.

“I’m sorry it’s Clint, I gotta help him out with something. I promise to come back and check on you though ok?,” she apologetically smiles before exiting the room.

“Y/N there’s nothing strange about feeling guilty when breaking a promise. I would say most people do if there’s an ounce of good in them.”

“Yea but crying about it doesn’t make for a good hero does it?,” you counter, arms crossed in front of you as you look down at your feet now touching the floor.

“I wouldn’t say that. It shows how big of a heart you have and that you care about causing more good than harm,” he explains. “All great qualities for someone who’s trying to save the world.”

“Thanks,” you softly smile finally looking up to meet his eyes.

“From someone who’s experienced something similar, I can tell you those dilemmas won’t get easier to deal with when they come up, but trust yourself that you know what’s best. Even take tonight for example, you knew your promise, but also knew you had to do what you had to. I’m sure she would understand that.”

You knew he had a knack for taking charge and rallying everyone together before missions, but for whatever reason seeing this side of him was a little surprising. Not that you couldn’t tell he was compassionate, but you guessed you only looked at him as your leader in a way; the one in charge of giving you your orders.

Hearing his words just now made you feel as if he was a close friend, and had been for years.

“Yea you’re right, I’m sure she would. Especially with that coming with what I do now,” you softly laugh to yourself. “Thanks again Cap, and sorry about all the emotions and dramatics.”

“No don’t apologize. You might have powers, but you’re still a human with working emotions even if Thor is questioning it,” he lightly chuckles making you laugh. “And it’s okay to call me Steve.”

“Okay, Steve,” you smile. A comfortable silence falling over you, you both realize you might be gazing at each other for longer than usual before nervously looking down at your hands.

“I uh, guess I better get back downstairs. Who knows what Tony has going in the lab,” he responds after nervously clearing his throat. “Come get me if you need anything though okay?”

“Thanks will do,” you reply, watching as he walks towards the door with hands in his pockets. “Actually, um Steve?”

“Yea?”

“I was wondering if...-you know what? Never mind it’s nothing.”

“No I doubt it’s nothing, tell me.”

“Well I was wondering if you could just sit and talk with me for a while? You know to get everything off my mind for a bit, but if you have something you need to do then it’s okay-,”

“I can stay as long as you need me to, it’s no problem,” he smiles walking back to join you. “So Duke huh?”

“Yea it was my dad’s. He gave it to my mom on a date since she was cold and years later I found and kept it.”

“That’s similar to what happened on my first date, but I’m sure it didn’t go nearly as well as your parents’.”

“What happened?”

“Well let’s just say her needing my coat wasn’t because of the cold, but because me and the Tilt-a-Whirl didn’t mix,” he laughs as you giggle with a hand over your mouth imagining the sight.

———

Being startled by knocking on your door, you open your eyes to discover the comforter pulled over you and a note on the bedside table beside you.

Y/N, hope you woke up feeling better about yesterday. Sorry I couldn’t stay, I had to go on a quick mission with Banner and Thor, but I’ll see you when we get back to tell you what happened. P.S, Thor says he’s sorry about calling you an alien and promises he meant it in a good way ~Steve

You must’ve been more tired than you thought from not at all remembering going to sleep. The last image you could recall was both you and Steve sitting with your backs against the headboard as he told you more about his childhood and life in the army. Hearing another knock, you put away your letter before shouting “come in” to whoever was on the other side.

“Hey, how you feeling?,” Natasha asks closing the door behind her as she walks closer to you.

“Better, thanks,” you softly smile. “Steve really helped last night with everything he said.”

“Yep that’s Rogers for you, he’s always gonna be there to help however he can. And speaking of, he also wanted me to report back how you were doing and if you were coming to train. He understands if you’re not up for it though.”

You didn’t want it to happen, but hearing that he was wondering about you, on top of the letter, made your face slightly heat up as your heart swelled in your chest.

“Yea I’ll come down, just let me get dressed first. Plus I feel like messing with Thor’s head a bit from all the alien talk yesterday,” you reply as you walk to the bathroom making Nat laugh.

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