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wanderlust-in-my-soul · 10 months

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If you're going to be like this, I'm not going to have the strenght to hold you up. Do you still want me to take a shower? You don't have to anymore.

#step by step #step by step the series #step by step ep 10 #pat x jeng #jeng x pat #jengpat #man trisanu #ben bunyapol #and there is no space between them #no safety gap!#good scene...good scene #thai bl #thai series #thai drama #bl drama #bl series #asianlgbtqdrama #myedit

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wen-kexing-apologist · 10 months

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Compartmentalizing

So I was re-watching Step By Step Episode 10 yesterday when I started to notice something. I was planning on writing about it today, but @chicademartinica beat me to the punch line.

HOWEVER! There is more I can build off of here and so I am gonna!

I was talking with @shortpplfedup today and she started a fabulous analysis of Jeng that I hope she will post…

When she mentioned that Jeng was trying to compartmentalize Pat from the rest of his life, and both of these things (chica’s post and Nini’s brilliance) spoke to an observation I had also had, and that I touched on in my post the other day.

Boxes.

Last week @respectthepettymade a wonderful post about how Jeng has always been boxed in, separate from Pat and the rest, and how the preview for Episode 10 had Jeng stepping past that barrier line

and well, you would think that after crossing that barrier, that Jeng and Pat would no longer be confined. You’d think that they’d have eliminated everything that was holding them back…

But instead, every single scene with Jeng and Pat together boxes them in. EVERY. SINGLE. ONE.

And I AM TEARING AT THE CURTAINS BECAUSE OF IT

Scene 1

Pat has his third eye opened thanks to everyone’s favorite Gay Fairy Godmother, Chot and has decided it is time to get over the hang ups he has and be honest with Jeng about his feelings. It is Jeng’s birthday, so on the way to confess his mutual interest, he stops to get a cake (#anticarrotcake for those of you on tumblr following the carrot cake wars)

Pat is boxed in by the display case looking at a cake he is going to get for Jeng.

Scene 2

Pat arrives at the kitchen, and calls after Jeng, who at first remains with his back fully turned, unable to look in Pat’s direction. Until he gets the courage to turn around and

Here Jeng is, in his little box, all alone, but here Pat comes, approaching the edge of the barrier, stepping right up to the line

And collapsing over it, entering Jeng’s space, entering Jeng’s world, barreling right into it face first.

And that is where he and Jeng will stay for the entire episode, inside their own box, inside their own little world.

Scene 3

They finish eating each other and eat cake instead and are immediately trapped together here, walls on either side as they start navigating being openly affection with each other (and perform a phone screen ad) they don’t know it yet, but they’ve already sealed the fate on, and created an inevitable downfall for themselves…at this point though, they’ve merely missed the “turn back, unstable ground ahead” sign.

Scene 4

X amount of time passes and we see Pat and Jeng trying (and failing) to be discreet at the office, going so far as to hold hands, touch arms and legs, and play footsie under the desk

This is a little less obvious of a box but the arms of their office chairs and the side of the desk create a box inside of which their physical affection for one another can exist.

Scene 5

Work ends, Pat and Jeng get in Jeng’s car and the entire day’s worth of unrestrained sexual tension comes crashing together.

Here we actually end up getting a double box, with Pat and Jeng enclosed by the car window, and Jeng’s car, existing as a current space for intimacy with Pat is also sitting in between two barriers (the window support structures in the background). They have had to spend the entire day being aware of the people around them, and while they have ultimately failed to be completely separate in the office, the second they are alone, they re-enter their own little world. Closed off from everything around them.

Scene 6

Jeng is openly flirting with Pat during office badminton, and being so obvious about it that his assistant notices and Chot has to bail him out by asking Jeng for water too so it won’t look like he is favoring Pat. Notably, the three queer men in the office are closed in, closed off from the rest of the group, in their own world. Keep the fact that Chot can enter their box in mind as we continue.

(Chot's hair in this scene is one of the best parts of the episode)

This moment, these barriers are where Jeng and Pat have no longer accidentally missed the “turn back now, unstable ground” sign on their path of doom, but have found caution tape and ducked underneath it to press on.

Scene 7

We cut to Jeng’s condo, and the first image we see is of Pat standing alone inside the double barrier, admiring the view in front of him, we’re about to start heading towards Pat’s office homophobia journey and we’re getting a little foreshadowing here that Jeng is going to end up leaving Pat to his own devices.

But for now, Jeng enters the scene, enters the box where he and Pat can exist together, can share space together, can be open and affectionate and attracted to each other.

Jeng asks Pat to come with him to give some leftover food from the bakery to the homeless.

Scene 8

Jeng and Pat give away the food and go and sit together under the bridge, where they are immediately boxed in by concrete pillars and discussing cruelty. This is where Jeng and Pat are at their peak. At their strongest, and you can see that because they are literally sandwiched between two concrete pillars rather than thin metal lines of window panes.

They are at their strongest as a couple here, because this is the truest and most honest part of Jeng that he has shown to Pat since they started fucking. (And I will be referring to what they have now as fucking, they are in lust, they are in like, but they are not in love). This is where Pat has his first opportunity to get to know Jeng a bit better, what his mindset away from work is, how he is trying to solve the world’s problems. Pat gets to see the Jeng that Jeng has often had to tuck away, here in their own little world.

And then this person enters, the artist of the stick figure drawing that sits above Pat and Jeng’s head.

Remember Chot? Chot, gay man, one of three in the office? Remember how he was able to enter Pat and Jeng’s barriers at badminton? Alright, well, here again we have someone who doesn’t quite…enter the boundary, but does cross in to it, stands in front of Jeng and Pat in a way that does not place them all the way outside of it especially because his drawing is inside their boundary.

Why is this important?

Well, I wrote about this the other night but that person only says two lines to Jeng and Pat:

“That picture was drawn by me, you look the same,”

“It looks like us”

Which means I have decided to interpret this character confirming his own queerness. So a second queer person is able to join Pat and Jeng in their little bubble. Jeng and Pat have hiked the trail, they have missed one sign, ignored the other, and have found their pristine view.

But, remember, the ground is unstable and the earth is starting to quake (and not just from them...nevermind)

Scene 9

Jeng enters a work meeting with Pat, Chot, and his busybody of an assistant. Again, Jeng is boxed in, but this time he is alone. He is compartmentalizing, trying to compartmentalize his life, here he is trying to put himself back into the box of Boss, and on the surface he appears that way, but in reality Pat is sitting before him. So while Jeng may be trapped here, in the expectations of his family to run this part of the business, he is looking forward, looking forward to Pat.

And where Jeng’s box in this scene is made of glass (we’ve been talking a lot about glass closets recently with this show….anyway) the assistant is also boxed in…around wood. Something you can’t see through. Boxed in, however, by a door. Something that can be opened, something that can be opened and reveal something beyond. Pat has entered Jeng’s world and they have spent all their time together inside that world, inside that barrier, unable to look out, and unwilling to see what is happening around them.

Scene 10

One of the least obvious visible barriers and one of the most obvious emotional barriers

Jeng sandwiched between Pat and Pat’s Dad. But he’s still boxed in here, with the top of that window wall running just barely above his head. Visually, he is still caged in here. But this barrier is made up of potential family, and Pat is out to his father, in a way that I don’t think Jeng is to his. (By that I mean I think, no I am sure, that Jeng’s Dad knows he’s gay, but it’s not exactly like Jeng can take Pat around to meet his pops. Especially not after their first encounter….). Jeng is undeterred, refers to Pat’s father as “Dad” does not try to defend himself against his angry ranting or attempts at instigating a fight cause of how many nights Jeng left Pat crying.

Scene 11

Unsurprisingly I have many additional thoughts about this scene and the way they utilize the boundaries here, but I’m going to save the additional thoughts for a different post.

There are many many many many instances in this scene where Pat and Jeng are trapped in a frame, but I’m using this one for the Dutch angle, because Dutch angles make things seems off-kilter. And unfortunately for Pat and Jeng that’s the way this is going, their foundation has not been built up the way it needs to be for them to be strong and stable. But they are too wrapped up in each other to see the ways things are beginning to turn.

Scene 12

Boxed in yet again, this time with Ae and Kanon pushing themselves between them. But this barrier, this box wasn’t of their own making, this is one that Jeng and Pat were invited in to, (like literally invited to) and it is a box they can not stand together in, they must stand apart.

Scene 13

Jeng is riding the high of unlimited access to young, talented, and enthusiastic dick and starts imagining a wedding between him and Pat. Once again they are boxed in by the archway, and personally I think it is worth noting that the most intricate, decorated, and beautiful barrier Pat and Jeng are placed inside of this entire episode…is in a fantasy.

Scene 14

Jeng calls Pat into his office to talk about the Forge Project and a promotion to manager!

Now, obviously all visual media is up to the interpretation of the viewer. So if you will allow me to be absolutely ridiculous in my interpretation of this shot. The barrier around them here is a little less obvious (similarly to the barrier from Scene 2 when Jeng has Pat pressed up against the glass). The barrier here is made up by two separate walls, one at an angle, and one side of the barrier is hidden by Jeng’s shelves.

Personally, I think Pat and Jeng feel like they are being careful at work, they are certainly not maintaining healthy distances, and they are by far pushing their luck, but the affection we have seen them directing towards each other in the moments in the office are 90% eye contact, 10% everything else so I’m certain in their minds, they are like ‘yeah, no one knows’ and that’s reflected in way this barrier is framed. At first glance the scene looks open, like they have freedom to move around, the windows show the city beyond and so you have all this…space. But the barrier is there, because they aren’t capable of staying in the world outside.

Scene 15

Pat is left to his own devices, Jeng nowhere to be seen, and suddenly the real world is knocking at his door. Pat is left to view homophobic comments about him from the other side of a wall. From the inside, looking out, Pat is suddenly enlightened to the real world consequences of his relationship with Jeng, and those consequences are pressing right up against him. He is trapped here, he has no room to move around, he has no space to breathe in, he cannot fit anyone else in this space with him. He is alone and being crushed.

Scene 16

More homophobia, more vitriol thrown in Pat’s direction, and another box Pat’s found himself in. One he can’t leave, one that makes him a spectacle to others. Pat is on display. Not only does the window trap Pat inside it, but the way the whiteboard and the perpendicular dividers for the cubicles are placed fully makes it feel like Pat’s in an enclosure. Like he’s at the zoo, like he’s putting on a show. Ying and the woman in blue are on the edges of this barrier, the woman in blue peers at Pat in his enclosure, Ying reaches through the bars to keep Pat there. The only person who is fully inside that barrier with him?

Chot.

Once again, the other gay in the office is able to exist inside the boundaries. In this case the boundaries seem more sinister. These boundaries weren’t built by Jeng or Pat, they were created by the other people in the office.

Scene 17

Meanwhile, Jeng is being alerted to the fact there are rumors circulating about him and Pat. But Jeng doesn’t care. Because Jeng has money, has power, and has a second job should all of this go South.

It is as Nini said, Jeng is compartmentalizing hard. Here Jeng is initially standing outside the barrier. Refusing to enter the business side of things. He’s blending in with his surroundings here almost, like if he stood still enough people might not notice him. He doesn’t want to hear anything about the rumors, so he refuses to leave the barriers he has created around himself. But just like Pat in Scene 15, the walls around Jeng are closing in, that space Jeng has around him that is supposed to be for him and Pat is no longer big enough for both of them.

Jeng is told that Pat needs to be taken off the Forge project. Jeng is told the Board is going after Pat.

Reluctantly Jeng steps back into the corporate world.

Scene 18

A long, hard, emotionally taxing day at work for Pat and we get the next box

Okay, I lied, it’s not a box. Pat is standing at the end of a walking path and is no longer able to move forward. And though logically we know that there is legitimately space on either side of Pat that would allow him to walk around or exit, the way the cubicles line up make it look like they are trapping Pat in.

Pat cannot move forward, his next move can only be walking back.

Scene 19

Pat and Jeng are cuddling in the evening and the events around the office are clearly weighing heavy on Pat’s mind, but as we know by now, Jeng is compartmentalizing, Jeng is ignoring the world around him, he doesn’t want to acknowledge it. At the beginning of the episode Pat entered in to Jeng’s world, stepped through Jeng’s barriers, stayed in there with him.

But now?

Now things are changing. Now Pat has seen what lies beyond the walls they’ve put around themselves.

And when Pat suggests he and Jeng stay apart for a little bit, while Pat is laying in Jeng’s space, Jeng does not want to entertain the conversation and tries to shut it down in every way he can.

And he is only successful when he moves in to Pat’s space, but it’s not because Jeng’s successfully soothed Pat’s fears. No, it’s because Pat gave up trying to express his concerns to Jeng.

And Pat is left alone, stuck in his own head, while Jeng rests peacefully outside Pat’s world.

Scene 20

I have to give it up to Pat for valuing himself enough to ditch Jeng in the middle of the night, and then go over Jeng’s head to Jeng’s father and resign from the company. Pat’s pissed, Pat is being the responsible one, and Jeng knows he fucked up. When we see him sitting in that conference room he is moping. Full on kicked puppy dog, and I’d hope that that would be enough for Jeng to do some introspection, and to finally stop trying to keep Pat separate from everything else in his life. But we will have to wait and see how the next two episodes go.

We end the episode with Jeng, sipping coffee, stuck back between two barriers that can barely fit him.

That is every single scene with Jeng and Pat together and even a few where they are apart, and this whole essay has been my evidence that they are throwing walls up everywhere this episode.

The lesson here, kids, is that Jeng and Pat rushed in to this too fast. They spent all this time in a slow burn because they were valuing the workplace, because Pat was trying to get over his crush on his boss, because there were a lot of fucking considerations that needed to happen.

But Jeng grew impatient, and got swept up in the moment, and Pat was stuck right in there with him. They closed themselves off to everything around them. They stopped paying attention to anything but each other, which meant they weren’t careful, which meant other people caught on, which meant that Pat, who has no power in this company, was forced to face reality and Jeng, who has power and is happy for the first time in who knows how long, stuck his head in the sand, refused to look at Pat’s reality, and ultimately let Pat down in a big way, and he’s gonna suffer for it. They are both going to suffer for it.

Onwards towards the Episode 11 Curse!

#step by step #step by step the series #step by step meta #step by step analysis #step by step ep 10 #manben #benman #patjeng #jengpat #jeng x pat #pat x jeng #man trisanu #ben bunyapol #dee hup house

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lurkingteapot · 10 months

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code switching and emotions in step by step

During ep … 8? 9?, I noticed that Jeng tends to switch to English with Pat when talking about emotional things. He didn't for the big damn confession in the club, but for a lot of things, he'll drop into English from Thai, and Pat does it right back.

We don't know what their respective strongest languages (L1) are, though I'd assume it's Thai for both of them, though they've both, per the narrative presented to us, lived abroad and speak English fluently, so we don't know for sure (in the sense that it's never stated). Pat uses it with his parents occasionally, Jeng uses it with Jaab on an occasion or two.

And the thing is … unlike many many MANY examples of codeswitching in fiction, I feel like these sort of make narrative sense. Linguistic research suggests there's a lessened emotional impact, particularly of negative statements, when hearing or speaking a second language compared to the strongest language. There are a lot of theories as to why this is, and I've been out of academia for way too long to be confident I could accurately represent any of them, but iirc the effect has been tracked fairly reliably across several studies in the past 10-15 years.

And this isn't something consciously acted upon normally! Just something that happens with the way our brains organise our languages, but it has consequences in how we use language. Bilinguals, when speaking to someone else who shares their languages at sufficient levels of proficiency, might find themselves naturally switching into one or the other because it "feels easier" to express things in one language or another. (Also, as anyone whose L1 ISN'T their main fic reading language can attest to, porn in own L1? cringe as fuck almost universally, and there's a containment-breaking tumblr post to that effect out there somewhere to prove it.)

In the case of Jeng and Pat, my hunch is that it's a) an emotional thing – some things feel safer, easier to say or hear with some emotional distance, whether it's soul-bearing honesty ("It makes sense to me") or suggestive little lines to drop to your FINALLY BOYFRIEND ("I'd rather have you [than the cake]"), and b) as a sort of equaliser – Thai has a few features that express hierarchy/seniority that can't easily be dropped from the language that aren't present in English, and Jeng in particular might feel that using English with Pat brings them onto a more equal level.

Of course, there's also the possibility that it's just there for flavour, or for getting shit past the radar, or even for the actor's sake – all been done before. But I like to think that this is something the creators actually intended for the characters, for all the reasons outlined here.

#step by step #ค่อย ๆ รัก #step by step the series #step by step ep 10 #step by step meta #meta #armchair linguistics #language meta #my nonsense #I'm tired and not sure this is coherent but I'm posting it anyway

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syrena-del-mar · 10 months

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I get why Pat asked Jeng his thoughts on marriage, having come out of a closeted relationship with Put and having heard about Chot’s 8-year closeted relationship with Krit (not to mention the emotions of seeing his best friend getting married and happy, wanting that for himself too), but I’m dying at the fact that he popped that question during Ae’s wedding.

And that transition of him and Jeng being the ones getting married. And Jeng’s “Some day will be our day.” You just see the spark of hope in Pat’s eyes— Ahhhhhhhhh!

#step by step #step by step ep 10 #step by step spoilers #step by step the series #patjeng #pat phakphum #anyways as a closeted person I understand Jeng but I hurt so much for Pat

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josslukehug · 10 months

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❤️‍🔥

#step by step ep 10 #step by step #manben #man trisanu #ben bunyapol #thai actor

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gg-carboxylase · 10 months

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Oh.

Uh. Geez.

Maybe I shouldn't be watching this on my lunch break. I thought this would stay the tame bl.

I absolutely, positively did not think Man would be able to make it believable. He just has this kind of uncomfy with the process vibe but I absolutely judged wrong.

Ahem.

#step by step ep 10 #step by step series #step by step #man trisanu #ben bunyapol #jeng x pat #This is mildly spicy

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he-is-lightning-in-a-bottle · 10 months

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Step by Step: Doing Slow Burn Narrative Structure Wrong

I love me a good slow burn. Some of my favorite dramas are the slowest slow burns to ever burn, and the leads literally don't get together until the very last episode. Step by Step is not following typical slow burn pacing, and it's suffering because of it.

First, a mini lesson in 4 act narrative structure and typical romance pacing. This is what our brains enjoy. In a 12 episode BL or 16 episode kdrama, each act is evenly split into 3 or 4 episodes, respectively.

ACT 1 - introduce the characters and plot (ends with: the first hint of romantic attraction from one or both of the leads)

ACT 2 - build romantic tension, give them reasons to start falling in love (ends with: a first kiss, or at least one character determined to make a move, they aren't necessarily together at this point)

ACT 3 - navigate actually becoming a couple (ends with: the honeymoon episode of pure fluff, they finally figured their shit out and resolved any internal relationship conflicts)

ACT 4 - test the relationship, usually with external conflicts, often includes a breakup or at least a big fight (ends with: a well-earned happily ever after)

Now, typical slow-burn structure is only slightly different:

ACT 1 - the same. introduce the characters and plot (ends with: the first hint of romantic attraction from one or both of the leads)

ACT 2 - build romantic tension, give them reasons to start falling in love (ends with: a reason for at least one of them to run away from the potential relationship, usually in the form of an internal conflict, often from a second lead or miscommunication)

ACT 3 - continue to build romantic tension while they solve the conflict that's keeping them apart, first real kiss happens within this arc (ends with: them getting together, unless it's the slowest slow burn to ever burn and they wait until the very last episode in which case they only solve the internal conflict and spend the next few episodes resolving external conflicts)

ACT 4 - test the relationship, usually with external conflicts, sometimes includes a big fight but never a breakup (begins with: the honeymoon episode of pure fluff, they finally figured their shit out and resolved any internal relationship conflicts) (ends with: a well-earned happily ever after).

You can totally play around with this (say by switching the internal and external conflicts with each other, or by teasing your audience with an accidental/meaningless kiss earlier in the story, or by having your characters have casual sex early on), but you absolutely must hit these narrative beats for the romance part of the plot at the right time or the story will feel frustrating (too fast in parts or too slow in others).

So how is Step by Step doing slow burn wrong?

They pretty much nailed the first three acts, only flubbing the timing by ending the third act 20 minutes into episode 10 instead of at the end of episode 9. But they are failing our 4th act completely.

First, we were owed a honeymoon episode of pure fluff and didn't get it. We got 1/3 of an episode showing their domestic bliss.

Second, the final relationship testing conflict at the end a slow burn should not feel like it has the potential to destroy that relationship. It's usually supposed to demonstrate that now that they are finally a unit, they are stronger together. It should feel like our characters are standing firmly on solid rock, not ever-changing quicksand. They fought long and hard to finally get together and there is no way in hell they'll let the other go.

But that's not the 4th act we're seeing.

At this point, the way the story is going, I feel like they're trying to tack on an Act 4 from the typical romance pacing rather than the Act 4 from a slow burn. They're giving us huge external conflicts, likely followed by a big fight and breakup next episode, and they'll only be happily together at the end of episode 12.

It's all wrong. You can't just switch out the Slow Burn Act 4 with the Act 4 from a typical romance! It's totally unsatisfying and will make the final act pacing feel too rushed. Your leads only JUST got together, and now you're throwing them into relationship-breaking conflict so soon with only one episode remaining to resolve it all? The only way to salvage that is to have yet another time skip as a cheat (putting character development offscreen instead of onscreen where it belongs), a trope which (again for those in the back) IS TOTALLY ANNOYING AFTER A SLOW BURN.

I adore episodes 1-9, but unless I am reading what they set up in the last third of episode 10 all wrong, I expect I'll have to massively skip a bunch of these last three episodes on any re-watch.

Le sigh.

#step by step the series #step by step #step by step meta #step by step ep 10

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fourthnattawat · 10 months

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“it’s alright. i own this place”

🤧🥰🫶🏾💗💜🫦🧎🏾‍♀️❤️‍🔥

#step by step #step by step the series #MAN IS SO SEXY AND HE KNOW IT #jengpat #jeng x pat #man trisanu #ben bunyapol #step by step ep 10

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my-rose-tinted-glasses · 10 months

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Who the HELL is Paint? Where did he come from? Is he a rebound or was he always there? Am I suppose to know?? Did I miss something? If I did someone help me. This show is driving me crazy.

#step by step #step by step ep 10 #thai bl #bl series

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random-crap-i-like · 10 months

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After watching Step by Step ep 10, it's clear what we have here is....

A rich, privileged man in love thinks that his boyfriend's concerns aren't a big deal, either because he thinks he has the power to solve them, or because he doesn't see it as a big issue. In case you can't tell, I'm referring to the last bedroom scene where Pat was trying to share his worries with Jeng about people at work knowing about their relationship. And Jeng was like Pat needs more sex lol.

Problem is Jeng doesn't work in the trenches like Pat does. Pat's being more directly effected while Jeng is in a position of privilege and power where no one will insult him (at least directly). People will think that Pat advanced at work because of his relationship Jeng, while Jeng...won't have that same issue.

Jeng is still in the honeymoon phase while Pat is freaking out. But it looks like that Jeng is going to have a wake-up call.

#step by step the series #step by step #step by step ep 10 #step by step jeng #step by step pat

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