#started this in Jan did like 100 then got tired and decided to finish it before the end of the year few days ago | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

bard-llama · 3 years

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WiP List

This is gonna be looooong (like, REALLY long), so I’mma go ahead and give you a cut here. But if you’re interested in what i’m working on, take a look!

Order purely based on the order my tabs are in. I’m only counting WiPs that actually have more than a paragraph written, because if I didn’t, this list would be even longer. Also, pls don’t judge me but what I name my WiPs 😂

Post-Coital Smoke

Kinda what it sounds like tbh. I just wanted Iorveth getting high and admiring Roche’s body and then Roche decided to be a tease. At some point, I assume there will be sex.

Angst: Sex object Roche

Iorveth’s POV of realizing that Roche hurts himself whenever he flirts at Iorveth. Premise is that Roche has been groomed (intentionally or not) by Foltest to be his. So when he feels attraction towards Iorveth, he needs to be punished. And obviously Iorveth helps him learn that no, that’s not okay and idk recovery???

Midwinter Feast

This idea was 100% spawned by me trying to write holiday fics, but Foltest hosts a Midwinter Feast where they close the city for 12 days, leaving Roche to get along with the Nonhuman/Scoia’tael(ish) delegation during that time. Also, Foltest might be using the feast as a delaying tactic to resupply his army. I legit have no idea where this is going, I just thought the idea of Roche and Iorveth stuck at a feast for 12 days was funny.

Solstice Feast aka To Birth a Verdant Future

This was actually an xmas gift for @lutes-and-dandelions, but I havent finished it yet 😓 But the premise is similar to the former in that it’s another solstice feast. But it’s set post-W3 with Emhyr as Emperor throwing a party in the new conquered capital of Vizima. Roche broods a lot about Foltest’s memory and how he hates Emhyr and decides to distract himself by hanging out with Iorveth and suggesting they follow an old elven tradition. And that’s all I’ll say. XD

Next Year (Solstice Feast sequel)

Literally set the next year. This time they merge their lives by merging their people’s traditions.

Lily Preserved in Amber

Okay, haven’t gotten very far in this, but I decided it was an elven rite of passage to go searching through the forest for a sign of your future. And Iorveth finds a piece of amber with a lily preserved inside. I haven’t decided if it purely means Roche or if it means his whole family with Roche and Boussy and Anais and all. So far, he hasn’t even found the amber yet lmao. But he did just discover music!

Character taking control of the other and Character B just letting go and enjoying themselves

Under the subheading “Porn Snips”, so uh, yeah. Starts with Roche and Iorveth fighting to decide who gets to top, involves Roche getting choked, and Iorveth ripping Roche’s pants off. Oh, also, they’re currently at a fancy party hiding somewhere in the garden lmao

Based on @moonlights-ordinance‘s art

Moonlight’s working on an adorable piece where Roche leans his forehead against Iorveth’s back between his shoulderblades. I decided to make it post-W3 with both of them working as paper pushers/administrators under Emhyr’s Temeria. And Nilfgaard does not believe in chairs with backs (or, really, Emhyr wanted to see how long Roche’s pride would make him suffer. It’s a long time). The idea is to show development over time as they slowly get more comfortable with touch and start using each other as backrests. And then the sweet scene Moonlight is drawing.

Eliza for @useless-empty-brain aka Can’t We All Just Get Oolong?

Next is Iorveth’s POV, but I legit cannot figure out where to start. But we’re gonna see some of his thoughts (like how Eliza volunteered him to stay in Vizima for an unspecified period of time and he said yes even though he can’t and now has to commute regularly because he doesn’t want to miss tea with Roche but also doesn’t want Roche’s spies to catch on lmao) and his curiosity about Roche and Foltest and what Roche’s mission is (which I... totally know.)

Roche’s Scars

@moonlights-ordinance sent me a great pic of a mod for Roche where he had some pretty vicious scarring/mutilation. So of course I decided I needed to tell the story of each one. But really, it’s a story about the stages of acceptance with scars. Both Iorveth and Roche start out hiding theirs, but eventually come to reveal them comfortably in public.

Vernon Roche of the Scoia’tael aka The Value of a Man

Does my title give it away? Oops? So, this is a found family fic where Roche is captured by the Scoia’tael and the elves and dwarves slowly come to see him as - well, I was gonna say human, but as a person, I guess. And start feeling really, really guilty, especially when some not great things happen to Roche.

Oh also, Foltest is a giant dick and uh, SPOILERS he does not try to get Roche back. Which leads to a whole subplot that will end with a found family for EVERYONE, because they all deserve to be happy dammit.

All of that was just one document lmao. I have 24 documents, some of which have quite a few WiPs in them. 😱

Kiss Prompts

24. Deep kisses where they have their hands tangled in each other’s hair to pull them closer. AKA How to Fluster an Elf

When I got the idea for How to Fluster an Elf, I decided it was gonna fill the prompt dammit. And then it really, really expanded on me.

33. An unexpected kiss that shocks the one receiving it.

Roche dreams occasionally that Iorveth visits him and watches over him and sometimes speaks, but he can’t understand Elder Speech, so he assumes it’s all gibberish.

Then he finds out it’s not and suddenly he’s not so certain it’s a dream

16. One person pouting, only to have it removed by a kiss from the other person.

Okay, I literally just need to buckle down and write some good kissing. This is set in (Im)Perfect Strangers and Iorveth is pouting about them leaving the gardens, so Roche makes it up to him.

25. Wet kisses after finding refuge from the rain.

This one won’t actually be published with the kisses ‘cause it’s porn and the rest are T-rated lol. Buuuut Roche and Iorveth are trying to have a secret liaison in the forest when the rain starts. Featuring nature magic, tentacles, and Iorveth getting filled.

Scenes from Another World (aka AU premise)

Old Men in Vergen

Set during Witcher 3, but with an established relationship. Roche comes to visit Iorveth in Vergen to ask for advice on leading an insurgency. Iorveth just wants to feed Roche while he can now that he’s not the one starving in the woods.

Language Aphasia/Deal with the Devil

I wanted to write Gaunter! So I decided that Gaunter is in a mood for some mischief (he calls it being generous) and comes upon a traveling Vernon Roche who wishes that he could be understand Iorveth. Then Iorveth’s Scoia’tael find a passed out Roche in the woods and bring him to Iorveth for judgement. Only somehow, Roche only understands Elder Speech now. He can’t understand Common at all. The Scoia’tael find this very offensive and Iorveth is mostly freaked out that someone who can do THAT was wandering around his forest.

Bunk Beds: The Portrait of Cirilla Fiona Elen Riannon

Based on a silly comic, Ciri convinces Iorveth and Roche to try to help her destroy the portrait. Geralt gets pissed and sends them to Bunk Bed Exile. Shenanigans ensue and somehow they start to get along.

Iorveth’s Scoia’tael Giving Him Shit For His Taste in Men aka The Lovestruck Fox

Right now, working on a piece from the POV of a new Scoia’tael recruit who is discovering that Iorveth’s Scoia’tael roast the fuck out of him over his crush on Roche.

Speaking of, anyone have suggestions on prime roast material? I am not this creative.

Let’s Torture Roche!

No, really. This one is pretty dark. And told in kind of a different style than my usual, because I felt like it. So, premise is that Iorveth and Roche were a thing in the past, but then Roche was recalled to Foltest’s side and he went. So Iorveth is understandably pretty hurt and pissed (this was decided for a prompt of someone breaking down as soon as they’re behind closed doors). Buuut what he doesn’t know is that Roche is not with Foltest of his own volition. Hostages, blackmail, and torture are all involved and Foltest is a pretty horrible guy. But of course we need a happy ending, so eventually, Iorveth will rescue Roche and they get to recover together.

Life Debt aka Iorveth is an Asshole

The concept for this was that Roche saved Iorveth’s life and now that they were no longer enemies (set during Witcher 3), his honor demands that he follow Roche around until he can repay the favor. Featuring Iorveth being a trolling asshole, correcting the new Temerian Loyalist’s fighting abilities, and Roche being very, very tired.

In application, it’s mostly angst so far, ‘cause I had to set up HOW Roche saved Iorveth’s life. And then I decided to really hurt Iorveth. But tbh I will probably skip ahead after establishing this stuff, because I just want shenanigans.

King and Country

I’ve got several WiPs for this one, including the Stripes’ recruitment, their decision to change sides, the Stripes being double agents, and of course, Iorveth and Roche’s developing relationship. But hey, I’ve skipped ahead to writing their wedding already, so... you know it ends happily ever after?

Friday Fight Night for Jan 29 (which I did not make oops)

So, this actually turned into a long piece that’s gonna be part of my Chronic Pain series. Basically, King Foltest is treating with the leaders of the Scoia’tael in Temeria and Iorveth is one of them. Unfortunately, he’s having a REALLY BAD pain day, but he’s also determined to be there to represent his people. Roche helps him see sense. Possibly forcefully.

Exhaustion Prompts

“If we’re both in this state, we both really screwed up somewhere huh?”

Iorveth and Roche are trapped in a dream and I got a little stuck creating the creature that trapped them there. But pretty sure Saskia is gonna interrupt their flirting by saving them.

“You were almost dead from pushing it too far!”

In which Roche has a heart attack from too much coffee. Yeah. He’s okay, though! But PT is about to blow a gasket and coffee will very much be disallowed.

Found Family Prompts

Taking Out the Trash for @useless-empty-brain

Literally a story about taking out the trash lmao. We’re gonna see if I can make this intersting.

Touch Starved for @mochii-girl

Honestly, haven’t gotten much done on this yet, but I’m thinking puppy pile cuddles in Corvo Bianco

Coffeeshop AU aka Brewing Romance and Dissent

Ooof I’ve got a lot of bits and pieces of this written, but nothing quite finished, except for the moment when things change from “we flirt as I order coffee” to “I make you special drinks and invite you to come visit me after hours”. Writing a canon coffeeshop au when I know shit all about coffee is HARD.

Curse Breaking

Omg this is one of the first WiPs I started for Iorveth/Roche, no joke. STILL WORKING ON IT! The premise is that Roche finds a feverish and dying Iorveth in an empty Scoia’tael camp, saves him with the power of True Love’s Kiss The Power of Strong Emotions, Like That Which You Might Have For Your Enemy. Then they team up to go save Iorveth’s Scoia’tael from a big bad mage and Roche invites Triss along for the ride, which totally doesn’t make Iorveth jealous. I kinda stalled out at the part where they reach the mage’s hideout and see the results of the mages failed experiments. On Iorveth’s people. It’s gonna hurt. A lot. But afterwards, there might be makeouts. And some sort of implication that they’re all down to do this (minus the horrible, traumatic parts) again.

Roche POV bloodplay

Roche’s POV starting from before his first encounter with Iorveth. Then he has a weirdly sexually arousing encounter with the elf, and tbh, that’s as far as I got. But Iorveth draws blood from Roche’s neck, presses his thumb to it, and then licks it off his thumb. Next, Iorveth was gonna be the one getting Uncomfortably Aroused, but I haven’t gotten that far. No idea where this is going overall.

Iorveth Investigates Roche

This kinda isn’t a real WiP in that idk if I’ll ever finish it. I mostly started it to do some worldbuilding about what public information there would be about Roche.

Voyeurism AKA Eye on You

Yeah, I don’t have much for the next chapter yet, tbh. So premise is that Iorveth accidentally ends up watching Roche get off at the brothel and finds it really, really hot. Hot enough to get curious and go back for more. Next one is going to involve thigh fucking and Iorveth might possibly get pegged by Daph??? idk

Fake Relationship

Poor @lutes-and-dandelions has been waiting forever for this one and I can’t even find a place to end the scene and post what I have so far. Premise is that Iorveth and Roche are both investigating their missing men and the trail takes them to the Murivel Resort for Couples. So they go undercover. Featuring Roche’s POV of being doubtful, Iorveth using the excuse to flirt outrageously, strip gwent, and a magic amulet that hids Iorveth’s scar and that Roche hates.

Competitive Makeouts AKA The Chase

This was kissing practice and it turned into a casefic! Which is awesome because I love casefics even though I haven’t published any yet. So in this one, as Iorveth and Roche sneak off to makeout, they also end up investigating a conspiracy in the Temerian military.

Iorveth/Roche(/Kayran) + Roche/Foltest aka Every Kiss Begins with Kayran

In which Roche accidentally walks in on Iorveth’s monthly fuck date with the Kayran and gets invited to join in. Then, somehow, it starts to turn into a relationship. With an elf and a tentacle monster. And yet, somehow, this relationship is healthier than the one with Foltest. The contrast opens Roche’s eyes.

Pining and Poignards

In which Iorveth stabs Roche with his favorite knife and wants it back and is also maybe pining a lil bit. Meanwhile Roche is rather pissed, but also curious and begins to teach himself Elder Speech to try to read the inscription on Iorveth’s knife. I stalled out in the scene where Iorveth accidentally watches Roche masturbate in the bath.

Iorveth tittyfucking Roche

Look, it’s what it says on the tin. Roche’s POV of Iorveth’s fascination with his chest and how it makes him feel and then there is sex.

Dirty Gremlin Man

Iorveth gets off on Roche being a sweaty, stinky human. Roche pins Iorveth in a fight and Iorveth gets very distracted watching a drop of sweat trail down Roche’s face. So distracted, in fact, that he doesn’t think twice before stretching out his neck and licking it. Then, of course, he remembers where he is. Featuring a very confused Roche, a smidge of jealousy, and Iorveth stealing Roche’s sweaty clothing to do unspeakable things to it. And somehow they get together.

Want me to sit in your lap?

Geralt LEGIT says this to Roche like 5 mins into the Witcher 2 and it’s GREAT. So of course, I had to write a scene where he actually got to. This is set post Witcher 2 while Geralt, Triss, Roche, and Ves are headed back to Temeria. Triss offers Geralt a little stress relief - which involves warming Roche’s cock and watching Triss and Ves get to know one another.

Red is the Rose

So, Chapter 4 is set post-Witcher 2 and Iorveth is obsessing over the fact that the Rose of Remembrance still has not wilted. He wonders what might be possible, so when he hears a rumor that a certain Temerian Commander was taken captive by Dethmold...

Dethmold most definitely dies. But unfortunately, that doesn’t save Roche from the curses he cast. So they go looking for Geralt to find out how to fix it.

This has only been 9 of my documents, y’all. I think I have a problem.

De-Aged Fic aka The language of friendship is not words but meanings

Ugh, I lost my momentum on this one, which sucks, ‘cause the next chapter is so close to done. Iorveth just needs to do a little freaking out first. But then they will both be back to adults and have to DEAL with the fact that they made good friends and would kinda like that again. I think this fic is gonna be purely friendship for them, but they’re gonna get there.

Glory Hole

A fic for the @sugar-and-spice-witcher-bingo where Roche hears a rumor that some Scoia’tael go to this brothel on the outskirts of town and hey, he may as well check it out, right? By going undercover and working the glory hole, of course. He never ACTUALLY expected Iorveth would come, but his legendary mouth was enticing enough to draw the Scoia’tael commander out.

Snuggling

Thirteen “accidentally” handcuffs Iorveth and Roche together when they capture Iorveth. This leads to them lying on the cot in the Stripes’ holding cell, spooning. There is banter and tickling and escapes not attempted and also maybe some sex with Inexperience Iorveth (i say maybe because I already started the sex, but idk if it will fit in).

Petals and Stripes

A weed is but an unloved flower

Okay, the Stripes are going to attempt to woo Iorveth during a battle. Also, there is a stabbing. And then a kidnapping. And then, miracle of miracles, someone actually tries talking!

One person's weed is another person's wildflower

Ves’s POV! She cleans up the mess her idiots make and terrifies the life out of one elven suitor, but first she’s gotta deal with her own conflicted feelings about her Boss, the guy she relies on to show her the shades of grey in the world, loving the elf she’s supposed to kill.

After that, I’ve got 2 more fics planned in this ‘verse. One is gonna be a fluffy and/or sexy date after Iorveth and Roche have gotten together. The other is a Scoia’tael side story, featuring lots of gossip about the humans sending their Commander love letters.

Love Shack

The Better Part of Valor

Ugh, I’m stuck on the sex again. Roche is having a really shitty day, so he goes to the cabin and signals Iorveth that he wants a round. Iorveth offers gentle (for them) sex and praise. And at the end, there’s a very significant scene where Iorveth removes his bandana. Roche buries his fingers in Iorveth’s hair, but doesn’t actually see his face, as he’s laying on his stomach with Iorveth on top of him.

Medicine

The morning after! Roche wakes up to find Iorveth in the bath, facing away from him, and notices a new scar. Iorveth has to deal with actually revealing his scars in daylight and they discuss the significant differences in elven and human medicine. Hint: I turned my own medical procedures into elven medicine, so it’s pretty fucking good.

PWP Ovi

Set ambiguously late, maybe after Thou Art More Lovely and More Temperate. Iorveth and Roche explore what Roche can take. We start with overstimulation, go into consensual somnophilia, come inflation, breeding kink, and oviposition. Because elves reproduce by laying eggs, which is not at all the case purely because I started this WiP ages ago and was horny.

The Picture Says It All

There’s going to be 5 more pictures that Rinn draws for Iorveth. Next is Roche hard at work, hunched over a desk. Then we’re getting some shirtless Roche, for “research”, of course. Then Roche cuddling with PT and the rest of the team, about which Iorveth is not at all jealous. Then a face study of Roche during a fight and uh, Iorveth is uncomfortably turned on. And finally, a drawing of their cabin with a silhouette in the window. She knows.

Roche & Rinn: The Haunting of Barrack 8B

Oh man, I really want to finish the next chapter, because I already have the one after that done. But first, we get introduced to Adda! This ‘verse is going to feature Adda the White a lot more than any of my others have done so far and I’m very excited. Also, Silas continues to be terrified of the ghost and the ghost and Adda become girlfriends buddies.

Roche builds Iorveth a home

Set late in the ‘verse, after Roche knows his feelings, but they haven’t said them yet (not out loud, anyway). Iorveth takes a trip to go meet Saskia do things off screen and Roche ends up turning to his old hobby, carpentry, to keep himself from pining too obviously. So obviously he ends up builing Iorveth a solarium. And a pillow nest. And a scaffold so that flowers that blossom in the moonlight cover the glass and give them privacy.

I got stuck here because Rinn needs to give Roche a hint to get him to build the pillow nest, but I hadn’t developed Rinn and Roche’s relationship yet, so had to go back and do that. But eventually Iorveth returns and they have wonderful I’m-not-saying-it-but-i-love-you sex in the new pillow nest.

Foltest (WiP): Long Live the King

This is actually the last fic in the ‘verse, so I don’t want to give too much away. But actually, I haven’t figured out what the next chapter is, BUT I have the chapter after that started and it is GOOD, just you wait!! I’m very excited.

Don’t Cry For Me, Temeria

This ‘verse alone, I have 14 WiPs and a dozen more unwritten ideas.

(Im)Perfect Strangers

I am frustratingly stuck on this chapter. Theoreatically, we are going to have a check in on how the mountain and the rest of our cast is doing and then Roche launches his Wooing TM plan (aka dinner, gift, and dancing).

Between Two Fools

Yeah, Roche and Iorveth have very different understandings of what their gifts represent. There is some soft happiness and then a swift rug pulled out from under Iorveth’s feet, I’m afraid. BUT we are almost to the part where the two idiots sit down and actually talk properly.

Unlucky Number Thirteen

Not only do I have more of Thirteen’s story planned, but I have ideas for ALL the Stripes to have stories. We’ll see how that goes. But for now, Thirteen starts spying for Roche. A lot of still-nebulous stuff happens, including Thirteen’s first time, for which he asks Roche to help. Additionally, once we reach the (Im)Perfect Strangers timeline, Thirteen has a special story all his own. It involves learning to read and a secret I shall not yet reveal.

Silas

Like I said, all the Stripes are hopefully getting stories. But Silas’s is coming along nicely. He starts a new life as “Silas”, as a man, and joins the army. Boot camp is rough and awful and he’s not very good at any of it, but one day, Roche comes looking for a recruit. He needs a codebreaker to decipher Thirteen’s scouting reports (another one for pictures). So Silas joins the Stripes, but he’s still terrified that they’ll fnd out and think he’s been lying to them. Fortunately, they’ll be putting his fears to rest.

Stripes Sex aka Earning Your Stripes: The First Time

PT’s POV! The Stripes (pre-Silas) are all still getting comfortable with each other as a team. But Thirteen has known Roche the longest and in a specific capacity. So one evening when he needs to get out of his head, Thirteen asks Roche to dom him. PT is confused and scandalized and then jealous, but he gets to join in soon too. Meanwhile, Finch and Ves have fun with their bratty arsonist and Fenn is loving it.

break (v /brāk/): to destroy someone's resistance

This is very long and entirely build up to porn. And then lots of porn. A question during a random conversation leads Roche to make Iorveth ask him to take Iorveth utterly apart in a consensual non-consent fantasy set when they were still enemies in the forest.

Bath House

This was supposed to be a simple PWP where Roche talks dirty to Iorveth under his breath while the two of them are at the bathhouse with Boussy (who LOVES baths and brought them to the fancy bath house), Anais, and Thirteen (who HATE baths and react to water much like a cat). They kinda took over the story and there has been no dirty talk yet oops.

Iorveth POV: Tutti

Iorveth begins to reclaim his love for music and lets himself improvise and compose again. And he ends up writing a song that is the story of his and Roche’s romance.

Daggers, Dumplings, and Dresses

The Elihal/Hattori side story! Though we haven’t actually met Hattori yet. So far, Elihal is expounding on his past and his relationship with Iorveth (he used to make all of Iorveth’s fancy gowns for concerts). Elihal and Hattori won’t play a HUGE role in (Im)Perfect Strangers, but they will be appearing!

Ves and Ciaran aka The First Rule of Fight Club

Ves is stuck walking a very long way back to Vergen with the memory of Ciaran’s skin against her teeth. And even though elves lie like breathing, she can’t help thinking about what he said about Roche not being worth her loyalty. Slowly, she begins to work some things out.

Sex with Saskia/Dragonfucking

Yeah, it’s what it sounds like. Iorveth tells Roche that Saskia agreed to a threesome and where to meet, but he neglected to mention the rather large dragon that was currently rimming his ass. Roche gets distracted from his confusion by the hotness and watches Iorveth get fucked by a dragon (with 2 dicks to fit 2 holes, of course).

Come Inflation + Piss Play

Um. Yeah, it’s a PWP where Roche asks Triss for a potion that will make him come a lot. And then Iorveth wants more. No idea where it’s going, tbh.

Stripes vs Scoia’tael: Water Balloon Fight

Literally a water balloon fight. For morale.

Baby Mama

Uh, the title is a bit telling here oops. But let’s just say Iorveth and Roche go on vacation to the cabin on top of the mountain again when Iorveth is hit with the sudden extreme urge to breed. Roche is down, but at some point, they do actually need to talk.

King Roche aka fics where Roche is in charge and hates it. Some are more in line with this than others.

Post W3 Becoming Terrorists Together

Ah yes, the murder husbands fic. Literally, Roche gets stuck leading Temeria under Emhyr’s orders and he’s good at it, but he HATES it. Enter Iorveth, who both points out security flaws, joins Roche for a surprisingly unawkward bath, and proposes that they go hunting down war criminals on their own time. How can Roche say no?

Pre-W2 Ambassadorial AU

Different first meeting AU! In this one, Iorveth is sent as the elven ambassador to Temeria and it’s about as much fun as one might expect. Triss and Roche, the other outcasts amongst Temerian court, decide to befriend him. Well, try to anyway. idk where this is going, but it’s been fun. Also, Iorveth wears a fancy braid over his eye, because I said so. Also, I might be planning an OT3 porn scene at some point, because it turns out, elves are VERY sensitive to magic XD

Leap of Faith

Okay, yeah, this has nothing to do with King Roche, but it’s the doc I was working in when I got the idea. In this one, a mage captures Iorveth for Foltest and starts torturing him. Roche, without really thinking about it, decides the mage goes too far, so he kills them. Leaving him with an elven prisoner and a castle full of people who will consider him a traitor for that. They escape the city, but now Iorveth has gotta convince Roche that no, the King really won’t forget that whole murder and prisoner escape thing.

The whole point of this fic was for me to write them jumping off a cliff lmao. When am I gonna get to that? Probably like last or second to last chapter, tbh. Which should be... after the next one? No, I lied, it’s next chapter! I need to get on that!

An ill-favour’d thing, sir, but mine own aka Possessive Sex

Piss Fic

Um. Yeah. Roche is really horny when Iorveth gets home and is on him immediately, which is great, but Iorveth has gotta piss. Which becomes less urgent as Roche is determined to have his face fucks, but after he comes all over Roche’s face, it’s VERY urgent and Roche is a fucking brat and won’t move out of the way. So obviously the response to this is to piss on Roche’s crotch - which Roche is apparently more than okay with.

Cum Dumpster Roche

Yeah, this one doesn’t have much yet, I literally just wanted Roche getting railed and claimed and L O V I N G it.

Possessiveness

Iorveth spends a lot of time thinking about his enemy, his nemesis. He’s researched Roche extensively, spent hours thinking up tactics and strategies to outwit his nemesis. He literally knows what Roche named his stupid weapons, but he’s never actually met Roche.

But he’s dreamt about it. The Roche in reality doesn’t look like the assumptions he made in his dreams, but who cares about looks? Because Roche is his, and certainly not some dh’oine king’s.

Tentacles + Breeding

Gods, this one is SO CLOSE to being done dammit, I just gotta finish it!! But it’s a fun one. Iorveth and Roche are fighting, when Iorveth suddenly starts fighting plants, which are fighting back. Then the plants notice Roche and suddenly he’s tied up with vines and his clothes are getting torn off and uh, he’s not supposed to find this hot, is he? But he really kinda does. And then Iorveth goes and claims him and tries to protect him from a nearly-extinct non-sentient plant that sensed a warm spot to lay its eggs until someone else could come along and fertilize them. Iorveth is delighted to be that person.

Dream: Pleasure Slave

Yeah, Roche really likes getting claimed in these. In this one, he has a favorite dream setting where Iorveth rules some grand elven kingdom and Roche’s only role is to bring him pleasure. Not to deal with politics or nobles or policy, but just to make Iorveth feel good. So far, this features cock warming, come inflation, a leather cock cage (so to speak), prostate milking, and a very nice silver chalice that Iorveth expects Roche to fill before they’re done.

Roche wears a collar

This was gonna be a simple lil thing based on me creating Roche in heroforge and giving him a lil hidden collar. But then Iorveth decided to get really sappy and had to design and create the perfect collar for his enemy. And then, much to his surprise, he gets the opportunity to PUT his collar on Roche. Which is great, except the sight distracts him so much that Roche manages to escape.

But the next time they meet, Roche is still wearing that collar, hidden under his chaperon and armor. Iorveth has feelings about that.

Standalone

Crones fic aka And Ghosts Did Shriek and Shrill

So this is the angsty fic that started from a crack premise. Er, one of them. I seem to do that a lot. But in this one, Roche goes to the Ladies of the Woods and asks for his men back. The Ladies agree, in exchange for 6 lifetimes of service. But no creature can reverse death. Which leads to the Stripes coming back to “life” as ghosts - only Roche is the only one who can see them. Ves can’t (not at first).

Believe it or not, the whole idea behind this was the Stripes roasting Roche as he tries to flirt (terribly) with Iorveth. But uh... somehow it turned pretty dark. Like, it’ll have a happy ending for sure, but it’s gonna be a lot about processing trauma and grief and building families and also curing a plague, because that’s the first assignment from the Ladies.

Stripes fics

Cuddles with the Commander

This is intended to be a sequel to The Pride of Temeria, but I kinda got stuck figuring out exactly how Roche should react. Tbh, I don’t have much of this written yet, but the goal is for Roche to approve cuddles with everyone lmao.

Fire Breating

Okay, this one started as crack purely because I love fire, but it’s actually been really fun. So, Iorveth and Roche are established and Iorveth has been invited to a family night with the Stripes, which is kinda a lil awkward. So they decide to showcase some of their talents - which includes Roche singing musicals and PT breathing fire.

Iorveth is horrified that humans have harnessed this skill.

Iorveth’s missing eye

This is really short and idk if I’ll continue it, but the idea was for Roche to really wonder what was up with the bandana over half of Iorveth’s face was about. And then, of course, to find out.

Iorveth Gangbang

Why is this under Stripes fics, you might ask? Well, I have great news for you. Guess who the gang is?

In which Iorveth and Roche are in an established relationship and Iorveth gets tied up in the middle of the Stripes’ camp while Roche orders his men to take him apart. Iorveth very much enjoys himself, and then when the Stripes are tapped out, Roche shows ‘em how it’s done.

Kink Bingo fics aka that event that I totally failed, but hey, prompts are prompts.

Age Kink

In this fic, Iorveth and Roche both end up captured by unknown forces and end up imprisoned together. I think the Stripes and Scoia’tael are probably working together to find them and save them, but in the meantime, Iorveth and Roche decide to get to know each other a bit better. Featuring muscle spasms, blow jobs, and pain kink.

Eskel/Lambert (okay, a little out of place here, but eh, it’s in the doc and I am still working on it)

Started for a prompt on tumblr, Eskel and Lambert end up fighting and, trying to keep the peace, Eskel casts axii on Lambert. Which leads to Lambert confessing that he bit Eskel because it’s the only way he could get his mouth on him. This leads to some dodged confessions, some frottage, and some snarky banter, because of course it does.

Tempt Not a Desperate Man aka the Fuck or Die series that started with Devour What’s Truly Yours

Fisting

The next part of the series, where Roche struggles with the fact that he’s been high key horny ever since the encounter in the woods with Iorveth and nothing is satisfying him. Iorveth, on the other hand, is jealous and annoyed that Roche keeps going to the whorehouse.

Then Roche decides to make a potentially suicidal move and enters the forest to try to find the clearing from last time. And, as you might guess from my heading, fisting will be happening.

Iorveth POV: The Chaperon

Okay, I don’t actually have much of this written, but it’s really cute so - Roche keeps using his chaperon as a cum rag, so Iorveth knits and/or sews him a new one.

“Human Bootlicker”

PWP where Iorveth jokingly suggestions Roche should surrender on his knees - and then Roche does. And asks Iorveth to take his prize. Featuring Roche coming all over Iorveth’s boots from getting his face fucked, then leaning down and licking up the mess while Iorveth watches and then comes over his face.

One Accidental Proposal and Five Attempts At Accepting

So one of the themes of this ‘verse is gonna be the Elven Baths where the Roses of Remembrance grow. As in, they decide to make the elven baths a place they meet up. This is the first time Iorveth takes Roche there, and Roche does not know what significance the roses have. But he DOES know that Iorveth blushes cutely when he tucks a rose behind Iorveth’s ear, so...

Iorveth would like to accept, only Roche doesn’t know WHAT he’s trying to accept.

The Legend

So in the game, there is a legend around the statue of elven lovers above the elven baths. “Legend has it the lover’s sighs are enchanted within these very stones, though only those in love can hear them.”

Iorveth overhears his Scoia’tael gossiping about the legend and comes to an abrupt realization that Roche and him were the ones they were hearing. Oops?

Standalone Fics

Letters

This is kind of a bittersweet WiP that I mostly wrote in one go and then went to sleep and kinda lost the will for it. BUT the premise is that post-Witcher 3 Roche is in charge of Temeria and his brooding is interrupted when he receives a letter sealed with a forget me not pressed into wax. Iorveth continues to send letters describing his life as a “civilian” in Nilfgaard and how much he hates it and Roche relates a little bit too much. Then Iorveth decides to run away and live on the streets as a musician and he might inspire Roche to start learning the cello and presumably at some point, they meet.

Identity Porn

Iorveth and Roche have a meet cute in Flotsam’s tavern while the elf is listening in for local gossip and Roche is passing through on his way to meet with the other northern kings to get support in fighting against the new emerging threat of the Scoia’tael. Neither knows who the other is, but that doesn’t stop them from starting a relationship where they meet every time Roche passes through Flotsam. But their house of cards can only last so long, and at some point, they will meet as enemies. Who knows what happens then? idk, not me.

Gwent pinup calendar aka Cards Out for Your Country

Hahaha, so I started this series in response to some WONDERFUL art of Roche with his Tits Out For Temeria. And obviously we need more of that, so I created a list of 24 characters who are asked to pose for some pinup art, all in the name of Gwent. So far, I’ve only finished Dandelion’s pose/the introduction, but I do plan to do as many of them as I physically can.

Gwent Game in Corvo Bianco

Wow, I didn’t even remember this WiP, so uh... clearly I haven’t worked on it in a while. But it’s Iorveth’s POV of how surprisingly comfortable he is in Corvo Bianco and Iorveth and Geralt get drunk and play gwent.

Zoltan/Jaskier/Priscilla

A giftfic for Wibbly that involves Zoltan being sappy about his bards and then Priscilla dominates them. Featuring all my headcanons about dwarven genitalia (two holes, one with a retractible dick).

Dijkstra fics

Noticing Roche’s Fucked Up Relationship

Anyone else randomly finding themselves shipping Dijkstra/Roche? No? Ah well. For this one Dijkstra observes Roche and sees a few too many reminders of himself with Vizimir, except Foltest is no Vizimir, and Roche clearly hasn’t learned to set up boundaries. Dijkstra feels weirdly compelled to help him figure that out before Foltest destroys him.

Developing Respect Fic

Also known as “let’s torture Roche 1.0!” This fic switches between the present, where Roche has woken up in a cell somewhere unknown and it brings back far too many memories for him to be entirely sure of what is happening when. In the past, he was captured by Redania while on a mission for Foltest, long before he was anyone notable. Dijkstra comes to visit, curious about this prisoner who refuses to break, to even tell them his name or confirm his country (but he has a Temerian tramp stamp, so they know lmao). So Dijkstra decides that this is not a man who will be broken through torture and decides to try conversation instead. The idea is to show them slowly gaining respect for each other, but like, obviously Roche is still a prisoner. Eventually, he’s returned to Temeria in a prisoner exchange, but meanwhile, in the present, Roche is all alone, with not even guards around and no way to free himself.

and that’s all!! I am... legitimately scared to count, tbh. This post is so fucking long, the number cannot be good for my heart. But, that said, please come talk to me about any ideas you find interesting!! Or anything you have questions about!

And if you made it this far down the list... wow. Thank you, you rock.

#rorveth #iorveth x roche #the witcher #don't cry for me temeria #wip wednesday #my fics #WiPs #yeah it's not wednesday but whatever i finished the list

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miss-mishka · 4 years

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The Old Guard (Image, 2017) vs Youth (comiXology, 2020): A Completely Biased Comparison

I don’t really know what this is, kind of a crack review, because I had more to say about these two recent reads than I could fit in my Goodreads reviews. So it will be a long read if you opt to proceed. Be warned: ADULT LANGUAGE BEYOND THE CUT, I make no promises that my words will be coherent throughout & sarcasm will abound as I discuss two mini/limited issue comic series’ that I’ve recently bought into.

They are:

1)The Old Guard, 2017 Image Comics 5 issue miniseries release, written by Greg Rucka, illustrated by Leandro Fernandez

Main cast, above, left to right: Sebastien le Livre aka Booker; Nile Freeman (no alias, currently); Andromache the Scythian aka Andy; Nicolo di Genova aka Nicky; Yusuf al-Kaysani aka Joe. Noriko is also a related, but not pictured, character.

2) Youth, 2020 comiXology Original 4 issue miniseries, written by Curt Pires, art by Alex Diotto

Main cast, above, from left to right: River, Jan, Kurt, Frank. Trixy is also a main character, but not featured on this group cover. (That wasn’t deliberate on my part. Since it’s a new series, I wanted a cover shot to help you if you want to shop for the series & this was the only one with most of the group clearly visible.)

So now let’s get to some plot.

The Old Guard is a group of warriors that are much harder to keep dead that your average person. Their ages range from Andy, estimated over 6,000 years old, to Nile, 27 per issue #4. The hows & whys of their ability to recover from injuries up to & including death, are completely unknown, but the ability can end with the same lack of understanding as it began. Andy has found 6 others like her in her time on Earth. 1 has died.

Youth is the teenaged couple Frank & River running away from their home town, meeting up with the older teenaged, possibly early 20s,trio that comprises rest of their group. While fleeing cops, drunk & high after a party, the group’s van is struck by what appears to be a meteor. It does, but doesn’t kill them. They each get a special power from it & all can suddenly fly.

Their enemy/obstacle/villain:

For The Old Guard, it’s big pharma bro Steve Merrick; his security chief, former CIA agent & the one who led Merrick to Andy’s team, James Copley; and the ‘mad’ scientist Dr. Ivan.

For Youth, this is it. Bootleg Nick Fury and the government resources at his disposal. (Take note, this is the one clear win that Youth has over ToG. I love & want more Don.)

Relationships:

Joe & Nicky

Andy & Noriko

Frank & River

Frank & Trixy (just hooking up to help ruin the actual relationship above)

While both comics have their group dynamics, they also have a clear gay couple at the center of their storylines. For The Old Guard, it’s Joe & Nicky. For Youth, it’s Frank & River. But Frank seems to be questioning, as he’s drawn to his new female acquaintance, Trixy. Kurt & Jan also seem attracted to Trixy, but the relationships between those three are not explored in these issues. River is most definitely immune to Trixy. So, Frank & River fall into the dysfunctional relationship category while Joe & Nicky, together over 900 years, are #RelationshipGoals.

So what’s the 411?:

For The Old Guard, Andy, Booker, Joe & Nicky sign on for a job from Copley to rescue some kidnapped schoolkids. Izza traaaaaaaaaaap! While the team decides to go on the offensive & track Copley down after he’s learnt their secret, Nile is killed in action only to find that she’s one of the ones that don’t stay dead easily. Andy goes to retrieve the new ‘recruit,’ the first since Booker in 1812, while the guys go to a safehouse to search for Copley. When Andy & Nile finally arrive at that location, they find Booker recovering from severe injuries while Joe & Nicky have been taken. It becomes a rescue mission for their captured brothers in addition to the seek & destroy goals for Copley. Along the way, Booker & Nile bond. Andy’s a tougher nut to crack. While Booker tries to locate their targets, Joe & Nicky are being tortured by the mad Doctor “for science” in hopes of discovering a profitable immortality drug for Merrick’s biz. Booker conveniently finds the whole Merrick operation taking place in Dubai, so off they go for their rescue mission & revenge. But...well, IZ ZA TRAP! Booker’s done with this undying thing & has sold the team out to see if Dr. Ivan can cure him of life while using the others to defeat death. Andy & Nile, though, aren’t helpless lil ladies. Neither are Joe & Nicky. With rescue under way, Joe & Nicky convince the doctor to let them go, then kill him, then find the others, meet Nile for the first time, kill Merrick as one happy new family, take off for Malta(yeah, in the comics, they’re THERE again), vote Booker off their island for 100 years & then leave him alone to be found by one very salty Noriko - she’s well-brined after 500 years in the ocean & batshit insane, to boot. That’s the first of three arcs planned for this group. About 160 pages over the 5 issues & not a panel wasted, in my opinion.

For Youth, River’s got a lousy step-dad, Frank has a lousy job; together they hate their town & lives, but maybe kind of love each other. So River says let’s steal my stepdad’s cherished old Mustang & run off for California. The car gets a flat, but there’s no spare to replace it & they ran away with no money because they’re teenagers. While broken down in a Walmart parking lot, the car draws the attention of Kurt, who grew up learning some mechanical stuff, appreciating the classics & is willing to offer help. Upon hearing that it’s a flat tire & the couple has no means to replace it, the decision is made to torch the car (it’s a Mustang, HOW DARE YOU?!) & get into the van with Kurt & his two female travelling companions. The five barely exchange names before they’re off to a party where alcohol & drugs mix to make Frank & Trixy horny for one another. River sees them making out & starts to leave when the cops show up to raid the party with all it’s underage & illegal happenings. River, such a sweetheart, is ready to leave Frank & Trixy to be arrested, but Kurt makes sure they all get away together in the van. A high (emphasis on high cause Kurt did some cocaine at the party) speed chase ensues with just a little awkwardness among the group as they realize that Frank & River were together & Trixy only kind of cares that she was pulled into their mess. Before there can be arguments, hairpulling slapfights or other drama over the man, the speeding vehicle is demolished by a meteor slamming to Earth. Except it may have been aliens? In issue #2 we see this:

After this faceoff, these celestial beings go at it, destroy what appears to be their home planet & create the space debris that hits the van & gives the youths powers. It totally killed Jan for a little bit, but that’s ok because Jan has the best powers. She came back from death & can track other powered people without Prof X’s massive Cerebro setup, which is handy when you’ve got Bootleg Nick Fury tracking you down because of the ‘anomaly’ that hit you. Trixy? She’s got a temper. When Don Thunder descends upon them with a small army of soldiers, Trixy turns them into twisted piles of gore and metal. I’m not sure what she did, but it was messy. I imagine in a movie the squish, crack, snap, pop, burst & splat sound effects would reign in that moment. With that dealt with, the group makes plans for what they should do next. Which is apparently, rob an armored truck (can anyone guess whose idea it was?) because they have no money for food or lodging. The heist does not go to plan because the guard driving the armored truck is distracted so he doesn’t see River standing in the road trying to stop the vehicle until the newly powered kid STOPS the vehicle. I’m pretty sure the guards, especially the driver whom they made sure we knew had a pregnant wife, are dead. Frank’s upset about this, blames River, who honestly could have flown off as soon as he realized that the truck wasn’t stopping as planned & the now very strong River smacks Frank into a wall. This pairing is not destined for 900 years together, I imagine Yusuf would continuously chop off his hand rather than strike Nicolo in a non-fun & consensual way. But the Youth gang still grabs some money bags and flies off. While multiple people capture it on their cell phones. Modern technology is an enemy to both the Youth & Old Guard. The kids take their money & go party. Alcohol & drugs again. Frank & Trixy making out again. This time when River sees his man with the girl, he declares the relationship over & storms out of the club. Killing a few people & knocking a sizable hole in the building to fly off while Frank freaks out & Trixy realizes this guy might be too much drama for her edgy self. We’re at the end of issue #3 which closes with this gem:

The more you know, right? Issue #4 has Don recovering from his injuries after Trixy’s finishing move failed to eliminate him (Dictionary: fore*shad*ow, verb: be a warning or indication of (a future event)). He sees video of the armored truck robbery on the news (O! these pesky kids with their cell phone cameras & viral videos) & he’s back on the hunt for the gang. River’s gone back home to the place he always went to to be alone when his stepdad was too much to deal with at home. Frank finds him there, because he had been shown that spot. It was their spot. It’s a sweet reunion where Frank still loves River despite the carnage so long as River still loves Frank with the cheating. A win-win lost-lost. And our Bootleg Nick Fury has his remaining eye on the lovebirds & is ready to attack! Jan, Kurt & Trixy see breaking news of the fight Frank & River put up against the government goons & Trixy is outvoted by the other two that they’ll go help their acquaintances of like 48 hours. The time they take deciding & getting there, though, puts them unfashionably late. Frank is seriously injured causing River to go Dark Phoenix so that the others can get Frank to safety. It fades to black, skips forward 3 months & implies that Frank’s going it alone in California where he was meant to be with River, but River is gone. (So obviously not dead, but captured by Thunder who clearly has his own powers because River’s Phoenix fire definitely didn’t kill this Superspy.) But Trixy’s all consoling and explains how Jan is locating other kids with powers - posthumans, they’re called - all around the world & they’ve decided to start searching for them to create a bigger group. Frank says it’s like the X-Men, but Jan isn’t quite Xavier level leader, so I say more New Mutants. Frank declines to be part of it. Trixy leaves him on a nice, sunny beach & goes to find Jan who portals them here, the most obviously “Not X like” structure in the world for their not a Bootleg X-Men/New Mutants series to take place in in the future:

(JFC, the colors alone are classic Wolverine! Originality. Did you maybe want to try that with this series?)

For the end of “Season 1″ of Youth, which implies there will be more. The single issues of the 4 part mini account for 125 pages & I consider several of those pages wasted.

Final Verdict:

With powerhouse publishers like DC & Marvel having decades worth of this content, Youth was entering a very crowded arena. The only thing it focused on as a lure to draw attention from the big leagues was the relationship between Frank & River, but representation has come a long way & Youth needed more. More story development, more group dynamics, more SOMETHING. Because I read the series in a world where I now know that The Old Guard exists & what Greg Rucka did with that series in simple & overt representation is a master class that Curt Pires needs to attend before any 2nd season talk for Youth. The world, my world, is ready for immortal gays. We’ve seen it, we need more. If River’s still alive, as I suspect, then there’s potential, but it shouldn’t magically erase all the issues that Frank & River had as a couple. They are not anywhere near the level of Joe & Nicky. And if/when Youth returns it needs to focus on the characters that we’re supposed to engage with & keep the focus on ALL OF THEM. Comics take art, with or without words, to tell some incredibly entertaining & complex stories. Don’t waste the space on blackness & block quotes, no matter what Marlon Brando is doing with mailboxes. Create the visuals & worlds in your head & tell the story with your heart so it comes to life for all of us. That’s what Rucka did with The Old Guard & I want to see more writers, artists & publishers striving to attain that level for us. I’m spoiled to it now & you can expect this kind of insanity from me if you fail to reach for this bar.

If you cannot tell by the end of all this, I am completely biased in favor of The Old Guard & if you can afford it, but haven’t done so yet, BUY THE BOOKS! Youth gets points for effort & dragged for everything else.

#comic review #youth (comixology)#the old guard #sleep deprevation does this to me

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soysaucevictim · 5 years

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About yesterday and today’s stuff as well as summary of my last program experience, and plans for what to do next under the readmore - this time around.

Mar 20:

I had been up since a bit after 11AM.

Most of the day was spent watching YouTube and gaming. Also played some rummy with the family again. (Although I did consider cleaning the bathroom instead...)

As far as productive stuff went, did do some dishes, made some dinner, and did my exercise.

First, today’s DD. 2′ leg raise hold with EC. That took some willpower to keep going after the last minute. Got to trembling but keeping the breath steady is always helpful. :U

Second, Day 30 of the Full Circuit Program. Strength training. It was generally pretty easy way to end the program - squats, calf raises, and punches. Although I did try to mind my form, my knees were complaining a bit in the last few sets.

Last, Day 30 of the Touch Your Toes Challenge. As always, breezy and relaxing~

Did get to bed a touch too late last night, however. :P

Summary of Experience:

My trip through the Full Circuit Program was such a mixed bag. Wound up finishing this about a week later than intended, several instances of me doubling up (only pairing ab and flexibility days - any other combo would be over-training.). Combination of dealing with sickness, mental health dives (such as and not limited to Day 19), and poor time management really threw a wrench in my usual consistency. I do think this a worthy program to revisit down the line... when I have my ducks in a neater row. :P

I guess I’ll rank my most favorite to least favorite days again, too.

Tendon Strength / Flexibility - Hurts like hell pushing through them... but leaves the knees and hips feeling like butter afterwards. And I’ll always love ‘em for it! =w=

Ab Work (Crunch Variations) - I’d say most of it was wheelhouse stuff. Only downside were the instances where I had to hold my head up. But I’ll deal~

Cardio - a lot to like, but still not quite a fan of burpees or jumping lunges. Pffft! Also, I definitely had to mind my pace, I knew if I didn’t stagger my pace for stuff like the jacks, I wouldn’t be able to sustain them for the whole workout. :,D

Strength Training - these were pretty nice to do after the tougher cardio days - don’t leave you as bushed. (But fatigued? Definitely.) Lunges & push-ups are still not the most exciting/fun, but that’s how it is.

Ab Work (Plank Variations) - I’ve said my piece on these ones. Had to mod pretty much all of them to get through them. orz

I didn’t have much novel to say throughout the Touch Your Toes Challenge, other than it was a nice treat to cooldown with after some of the more intensive program days. (That and stepping outside to cool off further.)

What Next?

I think dialing things down with Cardio Go! Program. will be a good idea. And to get some strength training as complement - the Abs & Core Challenge.

Since my workout schedule went sideways during this last program and getting it done several days later than intended... I’m going to start on this stuff on the 23rd.

In the mean time, I’m doing some old DDs~

Mar 21*:

I’ve been up since a bit before 8AM.

Got to the facility, one of the first things I did while there was today’s DD. 2′ chest expansions with EC. Did this one while I was out at the facility again, an enjoyable exercise to wake up some more with, too! Counted 135 reps by the end. Got pretty challenging but I'm happy I kept the pace >1/sec, today! :D

I spent most of my time after that socializing, attending WRAP Group, and taking a short walk with another group of people.

Got home, spent the most of my day with the usual time wasters... and napping. I was too damn tired (sleep deprived and too much sugar). Also logging various things.

I did endeavor to do some old DDs, despite how late it was getting*. (Not counting others attempted but wasn’t feeling for ‘em. Wound up doing everything past midnight.)

Jan. 3, 2016 - 60 climbers. Pretty straightforward and easy for me to get done. I do enjoy these!

Jan. 9, 2016 - 200 turning kicks. Man that was fun and intense. Probably not helped by a false start due to misinterpreting it as SIDE kicks almost halfway into the quota. Pffft! I chose to split this into a string of 50/50/50/50 - no pausing to rest (probably only ~1-2″ at most).

Jan. 14, 2016 - 50 body saws. I did this before looking at the illustrated instructions... and I think I may’ve actually done 100... as I counted my “forth“ movements as a completed rep. Oops. That was really intense, but I decided to try to do it fast and drove most of my momentum in my feet/ankles. So it was [barely] manageable that way.

Jan. 16, 2016 - 1k punches. I switched stances at the halfway point, continuously punching for all of it. It definitely started to get a bit challenging near the end - but 1k is still easy enough in one go to say “I got this.“ Very fun and satisfying... my arms are probably going to be very sore in a day or two, though. :,D

Jan. 21, 2016 - 3′ calf raise hold. Was a bit confused since I already hit like on the OP. Unsure if I did this specific one before, but since my DD checklist didn’t have this one logged - I assumed I didn’t. This involved some swaying, wobbling, and trembling - but I manged to maintain focus on my balance. Very doable and enjoyable!

With that, I really should be turning in proper, soon... whew.

#adventures with fitness

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martinlawless · 3 years

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National Masters Circuit Race Championship 2021. Age Category 45-49 Race.

British Cycling, National A Race E1234 Leicester Cycle Circuit Sunday 4 July 2021

The National Masters Circuit Race Championships… a chance to win a proper National jersey for the year as recognition by British Cycling. There are separate category races in 5-year bands from 30+. Men and Women.

This year is my last in the 45-49 year band. Everyone’s UCI birthday is 1st Jan, so I’ll be 50 next year on the final bong from Big Ben. I did this race two years ago and really enjoyed the event and scene. So I made it a priority to sign up to this one early on and focus in on it.

The race would be on the Leicester Cycle Circuit. I’d never been there before. Turns out to be a very good 1km loop. Tarmac quality excellent and good safe run-offs onto grass (take note Colchester). It’s not technical, really. Though racing makes things technical. A simple circuit means more speed. More speed means more reaction times required on challenges and opportunities that appear in the bunch. And, as ever, the wind and weather makes a virtual hill - turning a stretch into a danger zone that can challenge riders and generate a split. The course is dumbbell shaped, with the northern loop being tighter than the southern one. The northern one rises a bit too.

I set off in the car in very good time. I didn’t have anything to hold back for and get there to see teammate Chris in his 40-44 category race. His field is smaller than ours. Maybe 25 riders. It’s a tough race. Chris goes heroic and into the first break of four from the gun. Hauled in and blitzed, he finds it hard to stick at the back recovering while fresh breaks occur. It’s a reminder to me that in my 75 mins race there will be several attacks. If I find myself in a break, it has to be decisive - or I’m bailing out back to the bunch. I’ll burn up easily otherwise.

I’ve got my crit wheels on. New second-hand Dura-Ace C35 tubular wheels. Ramped up to 110psi just to feel extra bad-ass. Super quick and nippy. I sign in. Pin up. I nearly forget to put on the transponder, which would be a disaster. There’s a good chance of a heavy shower, but it’s warm. So race suit only. Becoming less racy with every wash. Factor 50 suncream. I love my Koo eyewear, but for close-quarters crit stuff, I prefer my “100%” wraparounds that give me brilliant peripheral vision and eyes in the back of my head. I feel like a bit of a doofus Daft Punk wannabe. But - hey, safety first. I do a regular back garden workout. I always add in stretching around the neck and shoulders in simulation of the constant need to look around you in a tight race. I should do pilates and yoga as I get older too.

I have a good little chat with James from Cinnamon-Contour. He’s bandaged up like Roglic having had a crash in the sprint at Hillingdon in one of the rehearsal races last week. I’m impressed he’s back. I also bump into Chris from Verulam. I’m confident he’ll do well. The course suits his atomic finishing sprint power. He finished 3rd in one of the rehearsal races. Other than that, I don’t really know anyone - jut a few of the usual faces and backsides. It’s a good thing: it means the race is bringing in people from all regions - not just the south and east. I hear all sorts of accents. I’m concerned by how fit looking some of these old boys appear!

Our race is the most popular. I’m unsure why, but I have a theory it’s because mid-life crisis is peaking as people get to 50. One last chance to pretend to be Sam Bennett, Cav or Caleb.

This is a proper British Cycling event. The briefing is more stringent than the usual “rock-up with a banana and go” race. This adds nicely to the drama ahead. It feels significant. Points go down to 15th place. The top-third will score today. I am in a bit of a downward points spiral from my current 2nd Cat licence. The points started late this season - early races were zero-points post-COVID. And now I can’t see where I’ll get them from. I simply can’t find the time or BC events. To be honest though: a gentle relegation into 3rd Category doesn’t bother me at all. I’ll have more options to race.

There’s always something to forget or nearly forget. It’s a gel at the start this time. But I remember in time on the start line. I will have another halfway I reckon. I put my finger on my Wahoo to ensure I don’t forget to start the all-important Strava. We have two neutralised laps behind the car to get used to the bends and we’re released.

It’s a steady start. I expect we are all mostly unfamiliar with the course and each other and just want to walk into this one. Eventually, there’s a break and the peloton cranks up.

In a rather unconventional prep, I’d ridden a Hilly TT the Sunday before, a Zwift crit Monday, a tired chaingang Tuesday. Then did the Fred Whitton loop in the Lake District on Thursday with three friends. I’m unsure 110 miles featuring the toughest ascents in England, three sleeps before a short high energy effort, is in any training manual. After the Fred, I did not turn a pedal. I was unsure where my legs would be. In the first few laps I’m relieved to feel they are fine. A sports massage helped. In fact, I feel good. The Fred had raised my pain threshold it felt. When asked to dig deep, it was no problem.

I’m pleased to be lolling around the top third or so in the bunch. The first break gets a third of a lap gap. But the bunch aren’t really bothered. All the same, there’s always a rider or two getting frustrated about the lack of coherence in hauling them in. The laws of physics prevail, and the first break fizzles out eventually.

I can hear Chris cheer me on each lap which is motivating. I concentrate on my line, holding it, seizing gaps where possible and generally keeping my nose clean. As expected, I don’t feel I can be in a small break. I just need to watch out for a big split. I can feel this isn’t going to happen though after a while.

The wind is a bit tasty. As much as it’s valuable to look at those big flags you get at events for the direction, you can’t beat throwing a bit of grass up in the air before a race for the truth.

It gets tight at times. This Leicester doesn’t feel that wide. I go onto the grass on one lap to avoid a clash. In these situations you don’t panic, just glide back on and everything is all right. I get a good backside push on another lap. No problem. ‘On your left’, ‘On your right’. All the good calls you want in a race. No daft riding here which was appreciated.

A second break is brought in. Then on 37 minutes, the decisive break from Ian, who everyone seemed to fear, was made. He would take another rider with him and the bunch would let him go pretty easily.

The last laps approach and the race dynamic changes. The bunch gets top heavy as people prepare for the sprint. The last few laps are very twitchy. We are wide across the lane and very tight as everyone jostles for the sprint. I find myself in the middle of the bunch at times and hate it: locked in shoulder to shoulder. There’s few oohs and aaahs as riders barge each other. I see one rider barged and he has to unclip to save himself. He skips along the road on foot at 30mph+ and re-clips without losing too much momentum. It’s impressive control regained. I can see Verulam Chris inching forward. I want to keep on his wheel but the way through is blocked. It’s always remarkable how you might have a few laps to make a simple move up a few bike lengths - yet it’s just not doable. Stuck.

Into the final lap and final bend, it’s high speed but I’ve got something extra in the tank to give. I am forced wide if I’m to apply any sprint. This puts me out of the draught, and I lose momentum, but I gain a clean run. My sprint is OK. I can hold a decent effort for 10 seconds, albeit I won’t be strong enough to gain ground. The front of the tight sprint pulls away while I come in just off the back of it but ahead of the string of others behind.

I replay the last moments over and over. It’s hard to see what else I could have done except to maybe find more confidence in my endurance to move up and hold a premium position early on. I eventually scan the data. I’m 21st and ahead of me are many names I know to be strong. I’m happy with that.

I return to the car park and change. I have a good post-race chat with Chris. He has crazy high power and he’ll smash a race soon, with a bit of luck, choosing the right break. I decide to have a peep at the Cat 3-4 race going on after ours. As I rock up, there’s a crash at the most basic point of the course. Four riders down. Three get back up gingerly, one a lot slower. I’m thankful our race ended safe and well. Take out the neutralised laps and our race is well over 27mph average. Dynamic and speedchess-like reactions required at all times.

Tired of sugary things, I crave salt, so stop off at the nearby McDonalds on the way back. The most biblical thunderstorm kicks off in the drive-thru. I wonder what would have happened to our race in such conditions. As I carefully navigate the motorway with Lance Armstrong’s ‘The Move’ on Spotify, I wonder if they black flag circuit races for lightning as we all go around a big open field sat on quite metallic things.

I think about next year’s Masters and take a look at the results for this year’s 50-54 category. I’m slightly disappointed to see names of strong riders I know struggle to reach the points. It’s a useful reminder that it never gets easier - we just get older.

Strava link: https://www.strava.com/activities/5574763935

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365-money-diary · 3 years

Text

Days 1-7

DAY ONE [JAN 1 2021]

8:00 AM - I’m back! It’s been a few years since I’ve done this and I thought it would be cool to try again. There are a lot of differences with COVID in my life – I mostly don’t leave the house and we [K and I - same boyfriend] are waiting for the vaccine before integrating back.

10:00 AM - Grab a handful of chex mix, make a chemex, and zone out on the couch for a bit. It’s been a really slow week all around, but good. I’ve gotten a lot of cleaning stuff done and I’m hoping to wrap up my to-do list this weekend.

11:45 AM - Clean the kitchen and shoot black bean burgers for my recipe blog. I started this sometime in 2018 but really picked things up in 2019 and even more so with being home in 2020. I have a goal to turn this into a lucrative side gig by the time I have kids which won’t be for a few more years.

2:30 PM - Burgs turn out great and photograph well too. K and I eat them with a side of chips and salsa and a seltzer.

4:30 PM - K, KP (dog), and I take a 1-mile walk. I do a Pure Barre livestream after. I’m doing the platinum challenge this year (15 classes x 12 months), so my first class of 180 is done! Hah. Decide I want to buy some stickers for the chart I made to track my classes so I buy a pack on Amazon. $7.44

6:30 PM - Make cauliflower rice for dinner with tofu. Put Mamafuku crunchy chili sauce on it that friends gifted us for Christamas.

10:30 - Get a nasty text from my mom about refinancing my house. I want to put K on the title, but it turns out I will get taxed a gift since we are not married (yet!). Kind of annoying, but K and I decide to just wait until that happens. Also my parents suck with anything non-traditional and it is becoming a huge problem in our relationship.

DAY ONE TOTAL: $7.44

DAY TWO

9:30 AM - Make a chemex. Feeling a little off from last night and the way my mom seems to think she can step all over me. Watch Youtube [Dessert Person] and start to edit photos from yesterday.

12:00 PM - Make soyrizo tofu (for me) / egg (for K) scramble tacos for brunch.

1:00 PM - Can’t decide on which color background is better for these burgers and after polling my friends one of them suggests and A/B test. The nerd in me is so down and I build the campaign in Facebook. Open a seltzer. $10

3:30 PM - Ride the Peloton for 10 minutes (Trying to integrate this more into my workouts - I love it, but I love barre more!) and then do a barre stream. I email the studio about the new warmup since I seem to have hurt my lower back from yesterday’s workout.

5:00 PM - K is tired of finding my hair literally everywhere so we decide it’s time to cut it - I haven’t had a cut since December 2019. He chops off a good 6-8 inches. It looks ok!

6:30 PM - Heat up leftover lasagna rolls and air fry some green beans for dinner. Eat a piece of peppermint bark while everything heats.

9:30 AM - Make a chemex. Feeling a little off from last night and the way my mom seems to think she can step all over me. Watch Youtube [Dessert Person] and start to edit photos from yesterday.

12:00 PM - Make soyrizo tofu (for me) / egg (for K) scramble tacos for brunch.

5:00 PM - K is tired of finding my hair literally everywhere so we decide it’s time to cut it - I haven’t had a cut since December 2019. He chops off a good 6-8 inches. It looks ok!

6:30 PM - Heat up leftover lasagna rolls and air fry some green beans for dinner. Eat a piece of peppermint bark while everything heats.

8:00 PM - Pour myself a glass of rosé and rummage for snacks - eat a small handful of chex mix and some gf pretzel sticks.

9:00 PM - Looks like yellow is winning the A/B test by about 2%! I build out the rest of the assets for the post so it’s ready to go first thing tomorrow.

DAY TWO TOTAL: $10

DAY THREE

9:30 AM - Chemex and a handful of chex mix. Turn on Raptors / Pelicans game from yesterday. Wrap up my black bean burger post and get it up into the interspace.

1:00 PM - Wow that took 100 years. I’m really trying to amp up my posting signal, and what normally takes 30 minutes took an hour. Blah. Need to get away from screens.

2:00 PM - Eat leftover black bean burgs for lunch with chips & salsa with a Polar seltzer. Set chairs up in the backyard. NY Friend is in town and he and Q are stopping by. Q paid me back the last of the ~$2k he owed me sometime last summer. We’ve remained very close and I don’t feel like our friendship has been affected by this transaction in a negative way!

5:15 PM - NYF & Q head out. Jump on a zoom with K’s family for a bit and then hop over to another one with some of my girlfriends. Pour a glass of rosé.

8:00 PM - Watch the last two minutes of the Suns game (they lost). Need to eat. Heat up a Big Sur Breakfast Burrito for dinner with tortilla chips and truffle hot sauce. Check analytics on black bean burg it’s doing REALLY well. Yay!

9:30 PM - Make brine for ham seitan and check my fantasy teams (I’m in two NBA leagues). Both are on track to win this week!

DAY THREE TOTAL: $0

DAY FOUR

7:00 AM - Pure Barre weekly charge. $15

8:30 AM - Cue that They Might Be Giants Song, I Don’t Want to Go to Work. Pull on a pair of fitted sweats with an Everlane tee. Make a chemex and seitan ham dough. Open my computer and discover that Slack is down. Do some misc reddit things before returning to emails.

9:30 AM - KP barfs on the carpet. Gross. K helps me clean it up. Wash hands and toss seitan ham in the oven.

10:00 AM - Eat siggi’s plant-based yogurt for breakfast. This is by far the best vegan yogurt out there. 10/10 - vanilla is the best.

11:45 AM - My seitan exploded. Damn. It’ll still taste good but I hate when that happens! Eat a piece of rye toast.

12:45 PM - Eat a leftover lasagna rollup for lunch along with the last of the chex mix. Open a Polar seltzer.

4:30 PM - Here’s the part where you stop reading already because of generational wealth - Dad calls and says there was enough money in the family trust this year for every grandchild to get $5k and that he transferred the money into my account. This was a total surprise - we thought last year was supposed to be it. Always eternally grateful for all of the gifts my grandparents have given me over the years and 2021 is no exception. Check my account and see my stimulus also hit today. What a day to be alive.

5:30 PM - Do a Pure Barre live stream, take a birdbath, and get ready for the grocery order. We order Instacart every 2.5 weeks and it’s always a production to wash and put everything away. In this order, we get frozen burritos, tofu, tortilla chips, riced broccoli, real cheese, vegan cheese, frozen corn, plant-based yogurt, cloves, low carb tortillas, bread, onions, scallions, bell peppers sauerkraut, pickles, relish, vegan butter, sprouts, bananas, basil, green beans, vegetable bouillon, chickpeas, oranges, romaine, grapes, clementines, black beans, vegan mayo, broccoli, potatoes, carrots, tomatoes, thyme, rosemary, cauliflower, garlic, lemon, celery, cucumbers, limes, jalapenos, apples, horseradish, leeks, cilantro, marinara sauce, dark chocolate, frozen peas, olives, BBQ sauce, salsa, pepperoncinis, mustard, lasagna noodles, & lemon juice. $324.11

8:15 PM - Finish up seitan ham and roast potatoes to go with veggie sandwiches. We eat these at the start of every grocery run and they have Dave’s Killer Bread, Vegenaise, vegan cheese, seitan ham, cucumber, onions, red bell pepper, sprouts, romaine, and red wine vinegar. So delicious. Pour a rosé after dinner.

DAY FOUR TOTAL: $339.11

DAY FIVE

8:15 AM - Lay in bed thinking about the generosity of my grandparents. Decide to put $3k of the money into my investment account, $1k into HYSA, and put the last $1k off to the side for wardrobe improvements – I lost some weight last year and NONE of my clothes fit. I have 4 dresses that are work-appropriate and the rest - I gifted to friends and others in need. For the most part, I’m waiting until COVID winds down and I have to be in public again before buying much just in case my size changes again.

9:00 AM - Chemex, banana and a clementine for breakfast. KP seems to be feeling better today.

12:30 PM - Make K and I salads for lunch with romaine, cucumber, bell pepper, tomato, chickpeas, red onion, and cashew ranch. Open a Polar seltzer.

2:00 PM - Yard guy texts me and says he never got December’s payment. He says it’s totally chill but it’s absolutely not because he did a crap ton of work on our side yard. Pay him plus an extra $20 immediately and schedule something for the weekend so he can get the rest of the leaves out front. $180

3:00 PM - Last night I found the DDR subreddit and honestly couldn’t be more happy. I LOVED the game and still have my gear from middle school. I drop in the shed to find my mat and dust it off to use for later. Also eat a handful of gf pretzels. Venmo my old coworker for a joint bday present for another old coworker. $25.30

4:00 PM - Work is finally slow so I change into my exercise clothes early and do pure barre livestream. I make it through the entire workout uninterrupted and try DDR for the first time in a hot minute.

5:45 PM - That was SO fun. I played for 30 minutes. Did mostly songs on standard but had way better stamina than other times I’ve tried to pick it back up again when I’ve been extremely out of shape and couldn’t really keep up + light songs are boring so this was just a treat.

7:30 PM - Make leftover bean, rice and cheeze burritos for dinner with chips and homemade chile de arbol salsa. Drink a glass of wine after.

DAY FIVE TOTAL: $205.30

DAY SIX

8:50 AM - I slept through my alarm? Or turned it off. Weird. My butt is so sore today from yesterday’s workout. Make a chemex. Eat a banana.

10:00 AM - Have a call with a mortgage loan officer and give him the official green light to proceed with refinancing my house. Interest rates are so good right now. Shortening my loan by 4 years and mortgage will only go up by $20! Give the guy my card number to pay for the appraisal and credit check. Goodbye stimulus. $658.66

12:30 PM - K turns on the news to watch the Trumpers protest. I make a salad for myself for lunch and toss one for him in the fridge. Attend virtual therapy. Got some good things to think about and am energized after. Therapist doesn’t take insurance so this is OOP. $90

2:15 PM - Tune into the news. What a giant cluster. I don’t have much to add to the conversation. I’m disgusted but not surprised. Eat 2 clementines and a handful of gf pretzels.

5:30 PM - Do a barre livestream. Start to catch myself feeling a little wonky halfway through and make a nuun. Perk up after 5 minutes and finish strong.

7:00 PM - Make veggie sandwiches for dinner with miso butter broccoli. Watch the news for a while, finish a book about abusive partners (I grew up with a lot of abuse and still deal with it from family members who suck), pour a glass of rosé and eat a couple chocolate squares and a few sweedish fish.

12:30 AM - Fall asleep on the couch. At some point I wake up and sleepily eat a few mini pretzels on my way to the bedroom.

DAY SIX TOTAL - $748.66

DAY SEVEN

8:50 AM - Sleep in again but this time on purpose. Make a chemex and eat a banana and two clementines for breakfast. Make an effort to drink water too.

10:00 AM - My back has been feeling really bumpy lately and I think I need to get that layer of bacteria off since my regular cleanser isn’t cutting it. Buy a bar of zinc soap from Amazon. $14.04

1:30 PM - Eat K’s salad from yesterday so it doesn’t go bad with a Polar seltzer.

4:00 PM - Work has been wild today. Lots of calls. Good progress, but not so much for a major report I have due soon. Hopefully I’ll be able to finalize it tomorrow so it’s off my desk. Eat some grapes.

5:30 PM - Ride the Peloton for 10 minutes and do a barre live stream.

7:00 PM - Rinse off, do the dishes, roast potatoes in the oven, make the last of the black bean burgers for dinner. Spend the rest of the evening working on the header and footer templates for this project, reading Remain in Love, and watching NBA.

DAY SEVEN TOTAL: $14.04

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spainmozsombi · 5 years

Text

Eventful days

On thursday I decided to go to the university to get some papers signed that are needed for my erasmus scholarship. As I entered the building I saw some people, who I know from previous week, going around in the building. I was told that classes only start on the 23rd of september so I didn’t think about it much. After I met another dude with whom I supposed to have classes together I stopped him and asked like supp, and he told me yeah he’s having a class, he’s just going out to smoke. And I was like. Is there a break now or what? He’s liek naah I just needed to smoke. Cool. Umm okay. Which class, where, etc. He told me, and of course it was one of my courses already happening. I found the classroom and managed to enter without the teacher noticing. (Not that he cares much, saw some people the next day doing the same thing and the teacher was giving zero ****s.) So. Course called “Theory of democracy, gender and interculturalism” was already happening but I didn’t miss much, he was just asking people where are they from and what do they study, why did they take this course. Teacher speaks good english, he laughs whenever he finishes a sentence, but his accent is a bit hard to understand so I’m gonna have to pay attention. After class I asked the dude who went to smoke (he’s albanian by the way) what is up with classes I thought they only start in 2 weeks, and he said that’s case only for the first year students, apparently my classes are not in the 1st year. Not that I mind starting earlier than planned, easier to manage my time like this. I also had another class in the evening from 6 to 8 pm...(what is this timing?! I wanna be at home by 8 not sitting in class. Gonna survive it somehow, I’m just whining). This class is called “The political systems of the Magreb”. Sounds interesting, it is gonna be taught by two professors halving the semester. The first professor is a lady around 50 or so, she speaks very slowly and even though the topic is cool, she manages to talk about it in a boring way. Don’t wanna judge the whole thing yet, there’s gonna be groupwork, analyzing the news, so it might turn out good.

Since I had this random start with courses on thursday I figured I’m also gonna have classes on friday, there was one in the morning (theory of dem.) 9-11 am, and the Magreb class in the evening again. I got some new information about the ‘theory’ course that there are gonna be two exam dates, jan 24 and febr 10. I wanted to be home by jan 10 or something like that so I could take my exams at home...Guess it’s not happening...We’ll have to figure something out, teacher said dates are not negotiatable he’s not responsible for them..

For some reason here in spain they have the same course twice a week 1,5-2 hours each time, not like in Hungary once a week. Weird, so 3 courses a week means 6 times that I have to go to uni which is more than I expected. I also wanted to learn spanish at the university and somebody told me that even if I’m a total beginner I have to take a test and then I can apply for a beginners course for free. Test was on friday, found the place, there were already like a 100 people there. The first problem was that they explained everything in spanish which is obviously problematic for me. (random fun fact a french guy next to me asked if I am german?...totally. Ja natürlich).Thank God after they were done with that they asked if there are any beginners should they explain stuff in english. It was already pretty embarassing cause only like 6 people out of the 100 (or more) raised their hands. The test was supposed to take 60 min to write (comprehension) and then a 40 min long grammar part. Of course I was done with both in about 20 min. I’m not proud of it and I could have just told them that I am a total beginner I can’t even say hello/goodbye in spanish so...Cause first I had to do the comprehension part and then they handed out the grammar part. As I gave the 1st part to the teacher I asked her if it’s necessary to do the second part since I don’t know anything and she was like yes yes, she even asked If I know how ABCD choice thing works. So I spent another 10 min reading the test, out of 60 questions I answered 3. Yey. I don’t see the point of it, since I’m not gonna lie about my knowledge just so I could get into a group where people already know things. Whatever. I handed in my 100/100 test and when I got out of the classroom I saw a teacher explaining things to people who also already finished so I moved closer maybe I can get some valuable information. A girl asked if we now that we are done with this test can start taking beginner courses and are they gonna be free. The teacher kindly explained that the results will be online in a few weeks but courses are not free but we get a discount. Cool. Course costs about as much as my monthly scholarship so I’m not sure about it, haven’t decided yet.

Evening class was the ‘Magreb’ thing again, the teacher tried to make it interactive but she could barely understand If somebody said anything in english so it made things kinda problematic. Also, when she finishes with her part of the course on nov 7-8 there’s gonna be a presentation which I also can’t attend since I’m gonna be travelling in that time. Fortunately she’s fine with it. Already met a spanish guy on thursday named Oscar who’s also taking this course (he’s local), and I asked him if we could form a group together and he was all about it. Also he plays the guitar. He has two guitars. He said we could jam sometimes. How freakin cool is that?!

I met Oliver in the evening and we went for a short walk in the jewish district with him and his flatmate named...(sorry, I don’t remember, german girl from somewhere around Dortmund). We saw the Alhambra with all nice lights in the dark (forgot to take any pics so gonna have to go back there), and finally had tapas after! Also listened to some spanish guitar music! Was a good evening!

On saturday I wanted to visit a bike track not far from Granada so I made some sandwiches and hit the road. Trail was about an hour of riding from my flat, but on the last 15 min there were some steep uphill parts. But for this track it was definitely worth it! Long as hell not like trails at home, it was at least 5-6 min long, steep rocky parts with roots, small jumps, big jumps, built corners, step ups, etc. All that’s fun! All of that’s meandering around a torres (a stream that only has water in it after huge rains and storms, otherwise it’s totally dry). Had a good time. I was about to go home when I met some spanish riders, and even though non of us spoke the other language we managed to understand each other somehow. They were kind enough to offer me to take me in their van to the top of the hill (will upload pics later) and even had the chance to ride with them! Sadly I was a bit tired so I had a crash (which rarely happens) but these guys helped me to get up, put me back together and everything, I’m grateful for them, thanks again! I felt a bit dizzy after it, I thought I had a puncture but since they did not hear anything it turned out only my ears were ringing for a few minutes. Other than that I only had a few bruises and wounds, nothing exceptionally serious. As I woke up today they were already looking better and I don’t feel any problems, gonna chill for the day watch some bike races. Better to be safe than sorry.

That’s all folks!

#tapas #spain #erasmus #granada #crash #bike

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fishermariawo · 6 years

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A Heartfelt Thank You For Giving Me a Decade of Life

It’s Friday, everyone! And that means another Primal Blueprint Real Life Story from a Mark’s Daily Apple reader. If you have your own success story and would like to share it with me and the Mark’s Daily Apple community please contact me here. I’ll continue to publish these each Friday as long as they keep coming in. Thank you for reading!

Three months of Primal has already given me an extra decade of life.

Yes, that is an attention grabbing headline but after living Primal for three months, my blood cholesterol has changed so much for the better that I sincerely believe my odds of longevity have greatly increased.

I lived my first three decades as an enthusiastic carbs eater, enjoying my pasta, bread, and (when I turned 18 in Australia) beer, with high activity levels ensuring my clothes always fit. Then in my 30’s I found out I had high cholesterol. A family history of heart disease suddenly became relevant to my long-term health. It came as a shock to realise I was mortal, but after following the standard medical practice of cutting out saturated fat, etc, my lipids seemed to be under control.

Along came marriage and a child, and suddenly my evenings and weekends of activity were curtailed. Yet without a change to my eating habits my jeans got tighter and I decided something needed to be done.

With the conventional assumption that a calorie was a calorie, a low fat restricted diet seemed the best way to get rid of excess flab and with a trusty food app installed on my iphone I began. I was successful over a six month period at getting rid of 25 pounds (from 185 to 160), but boy did it hurt. And after hitting my target I watched my scale gradually drift back to 170…175..180… back to where I started with nothing to show for it but an extra hole in my belt and a forgiving wife who didn’t want to suffer through my hunger crankiness again.

And I still had high cholesterol. At this stage I had pretty much resigned myself to following in my father’s footsteps with an eventual prescription for statins followed by a heart bypass and eventually something worse.

As an avid reader of blogs I had discovered Mr. Money Mustache and in August 2012 he wrote an article on The Primal Blueprint. I read it but it didn’t really sink in because most of my spare mental energy was directed towards a planned move from Australia to the USA.

We landed in Oregon in 2014 where I re-discovered a more active lifestyle but also the delights of a rapidly growing microbrewery industry. Having the flexibility of working from home allowed me to keep my waistline sort-of in check. One factor that did end up nudging me towards a Primal diet was the unpleasant discovery that nearly all bread in the USA tasted sweet given added sugars/HFCS. So instead of having sandwiches for lunch, I got into the habit of cooking usually a variety of meat / legumes / vegetable stir-fry. Despite this, I was still enjoying my Grape Nuts in the morning, occasional pastries for snacks, and regular dinners with pasta or rice.

After a year or so it was time for a medical checkup and to my dismay my cholesterol levels were looking grim with a Triglycerides/HDL ratio of >8x. After a heart scan, it appeared my cardiovascular system was still OK, but now being in my early 40’s it appeared it was time to join millions of others and start taking medication; something I was not looking forward to.

I begged off a prescription for a year, deciding to focus on a stricter ‘low cholesterol’ diet to see if that would improve my blood levels. Remember, I had been aware of Mark’s work for several years, but never had the catalyst prompting me to embrace Primal. Then I found the blog of Zach Bitter, an ultramarathon runner (and holder of several endurance world records) who shifted from a high carb to high fat diet in 2012. He had posted before-and-after biometrics data that clearly showed a dramatic improvement in his lipids profile. Reading that post was my ‘Ah-Ha!’ moment when I properly appreciated the real life benefits that Primal could give me.

This occurred at the start of summer last year and as luck would have it our family set out on a road trip to Colorado, catching up with extended family and seeing the sights. This vacation did include a lot of hiking, as well as a lot more dining out with beer and desserts. As you might expect my bathroom scales were not pleased, with my weight hitting 186 lb on our return.

This was the final catalyst to spur me to action. I began to strictly follow The Primal Blueprint using a food app (MyFitnessPal) to make sure my diet included less than 100 grams of carbs a day. My digestive system was a little upset during the first four weeks as I shifted my daily routine from (for example) having a big bowl of cereal for breakfast to coffee with a dab of coconut oil and cream. What did come as a pleasant surprise was how quickly my sensation of hunger changed from an acute, sharp pain to a rather muted background feeling. Whilst eating Primal did increase our family’s spending on food, I ate out and drank a lot less which helped the budget. I was careful to keep my calorie intake well under control using the food app and over three months lost 15 pounds without having to suffer a feeling of constant hunger. Another factor I also consider important is that with a Primal strength training plan I did get stronger which indicated to me that I was not sacrificing muscle tissue

The real proof of the pudding came in December last year when I had my cholesterol tested again. After three months of strict Primal my Triglycerides/HDL ratio had fallen to 3.4x. Although still too high, I was delighted to see such a rapid change and progress towards a healthy cardiovascular system in a relatively short time and I truly felt that I had been given a clear shot at a longer and healthier life.

So where does that leave me now? I’ll be maintaining my Primal lifestyle and will get another cholesterol test done this summer which should hopefully show further progress in my lipid profiles. Meanwhile, I am enjoying having steady energy throughout the day as well as the gustatory pleasures of doing nearly all my own cooking and eating high fat meals. Cutting back on beer from a regular glass a day was hard, but now I usually have one a week as a treat after some hard work and find that I am enjoying the taste with considerably greater intensity.

In conclusion there are a couple of things I would like to pass onto any new Primal followers:

1. Overeating: Now that my body is adjusting and I’m on the way to being a Fat Burning Beast, the biggest challenge I have with food is a tendency to overeat because everything tastes so good, especially snacks. A few pieces of dark chocolate? Yes, please. How about another handful of almonds and macadamia nuts? Sounds great! Hmmm, that full fat yoghurt with some flaked coconut was nice, there’s still a few spoonfuls in the bowl? Can’t wait! I easily dropped to 170 pounds with the assistance of calorie tracking, but when I shifted to relying on internal cues at the start of this year I did slowly regain a pound or two.

2. Hunger and Habit: My efforts at a high carb calorie restricted diet were painful, so I was wary of a change to Primal since the physical bulk of Primal meals are much smaller than carbohydrate-laden meals (such as a big plate of pasta) for the same energy intake. This also goes back to my Overeating comment (1.), so be aware of portion sizes when starting out. My breakfast habit took me a while to break as I was eating in the morning when not hungry. Also, four decades of habit made me always clean my plate and then look for seconds. So I’ve been devoting a lot of mental effort to portion control and stopping when sated. I recommend Jan Chozen Bays’ book Mindful Eating as an excellent place to start if any readers have had similar problems.

3. Cardio Exercise: Mark brought the issue of chronic cardio to our attention, highlighted by his own experience as a professional athlete. I followed Mark’s plan with short duration, high intensity sprinting but my heart wasn’t in it. I loved to sprint when playing sport, but my days of contact rugby are over. Going back to Zach Bitter’s blog I discovered Dr. Phil Maffetone who suggests constant heart rate exercise at low levels to ensure fat burning. Having purchased a heart rate strap and watch I have started running again and I am relishing a few 1hr sessions slowly trotting around Bend each week. I can return home refreshingly tired but not exhausted—and importantly not starving for a carb-laden snack. I consider this approach makes me more of a long-distant cousin of Grok, living in Africa and gradually running down an impala for his daily serving of saturated fat, instead of fleeing from a bear (that wants Grok’s fresh-caught salmon).

4. Strength Exercise: When younger I was a bit of a gym junkie, taking a break from my office routine during the week to do a daily weights session. Now I do my training at home, having installed a homemade chin-up bar in our garage and purchased a 100lb barbell from Dick’s Sporting Goods. A session takes me less than 10 minutes: push-ups to failure, overhand wide grip chin-ups to failure, clean and jerks to almost failure (heavy weight overhead), another round of push-ups to failure, underhand narrow grip chin-ups to failure, then I finish with some deadlifts. I don’t even bother changing into exercise clothing as the short duration/high intensity gets me nice and warm but not sweaty, and I can do a couple of sessions a week when I feel like it. It also keeps my strength close to Mark’s Primal Essential Movement ‘mastery’ levels

5. Cooking: You will likely need to spend a lot more time preparing food, so get creative with any time saving ideas. Mark has his ‘Big Ass Salad’; my equivalent in winter months has been a soup base that I prepare on weekends. I purchase organic cauliflower, carrots, celery, and kale as the basics, finely chop them in a food processor, and freeze in single serves. When I have lunch, I pull a serve from my freezer, add some stock / broth in a pot, and either coconut oil and curry powder or olive oil and herbs / spices (or for a special treat, duck fat and some chopped organic chicken breast). It is ready in 10-15 minutes.

Compared to some of the transformations I’ve seen on Mark’s “Success Stories,” I feel my story is quite modest. You don’t need to be at a personal low to gain from adopting a more Primal lifestyle, and the underlying health benefits that have already emerged make it worthy for anyone reading this to give it a try.

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cristinajourdanqp · 6 years

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A Heartfelt Thank You For Giving Me a Decade of Life

Three months of Primal has already given me an extra decade of life.

In conclusion there are a couple of things I would like to pass onto any new Primal followers:

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watsonrodriquezie · 6 years

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A Heartfelt Thank You For Giving Me a Decade of Life

Three months of Primal has already given me an extra decade of life.

In conclusion there are a couple of things I would like to pass onto any new Primal followers:

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milenasanchezmk · 6 years

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A Heartfelt Thank You For Giving Me a Decade of Life

Three months of Primal has already given me an extra decade of life.

In conclusion there are a couple of things I would like to pass onto any new Primal followers:

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cynthiamwashington · 6 years

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A Heartfelt Thank You For Giving Me a Decade of Life

Three months of Primal has already given me an extra decade of life.

In conclusion there are a couple of things I would like to pass onto any new Primal followers:

(function($) { $("#dfTbHwC").load("https://www.marksdailyapple.com/wp-admin/admin-ajax.php?action=dfads_ajax_load_ads&groups=674&limit=1&orderby=random&order=ASC&container_id=&container_html=none&container_class=&ad_html=div&ad_class=&callback_function=&return_javascript=0&_block_id=dfTbHwC" ); })( jQuery );

The post A Heartfelt Thank You For Giving Me a Decade of Life appeared first on Mark's Daily Apple.

Article source here:Marks’s Daily Apple

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excusetheconfusion · 7 years

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The homeless days.

After rekindling an old friendship from a 7 year hiatus, I've been inspired/influenced to write an experience story. Usually my blogs are just stoner ramblings about my feelings and thoughts but today it'll be more of a recap kind of deal. If you've kept up with my blogs, you know about the 'bad' ex, you know about my dad dying, you know how I sold the house that I hated...this picks up right after I sold the house. After living in the small town of Houston, Missouri from 2010 to 2013, I sold my first house. Really, sold my dead dad's house. Before that, I had lived with my dad on the Gulf Coast. We went through Katrina, lost everything over and over again. So material things hadn't meant much since 2005. We had our mobile home, then another, then a FEMA camper, then a FEMA cottage, then another camper. We didn't really move, all these homes were on the same piece of property, but hurricanes kept taking them. One day, after my dad had gotten his back pay from SSI and some other government things that he had been owed, he typed in cheap properties, and Houston, Missouri popped up. We moved summer of 2010. It was my first time having a real house, I thought it was going to be great. I hated leaving my friends, and I didn't care for the town too much, but it was a real solid house. Not even a year later, my dad was killed. I ended up pulling the plug while my dad was in a coma, basically brain dead. Bar fight gone wrong. I finished the job that a 23 year old, Caleb Buckner couldn't.(feel free to search Midtown, Licking Missouri Barfight, October 8th 2011, Victim Rickie Murray) After that, the boyfriend at the time, who was 20 seemed pretty mature considering I was 16. So here I am 16, no family, a house, 2 vehicles, in a town where the only people I knew were my dad's bar friends, and my boyfriend's family. I was a good kid. Good grades, good intentions, polite, soft spoken, the worst thing I did at the time was smoke a little pot. Which what 16 year old hadn't done that? Well, my family in Louisiana tried to get me to come home but, I knew better apparently. My family let me make my own choices, which looking back on now was stupid. I was 16, they should have made me come home and have a normal life. But they didn't and that's when I began my journey alone. My boyfriends grandparents adopted me. They gave me a room in their home, and treated me like their own. They went to my drama club plays, they helped me with cash when I needed it. They loved me just like I loved them. I called them grandma and grandpa and things were fine aside from the fact that their grandson was incredibly abusive. But where else could I go? We ended up moving into my dad's house 6 months later. So, I'm 17, a senior in high school with a 21 year old living with me. It got worse once we were really alone. It was about a 2 year long process of getting dad's house back from the government. I had a plan to leave Shad, but I had to bide my time. The day I found out the house was out of probate and was able to be sold, I packed up all his stuff and had it sitting on the front concrete porch. The day he moved out was also the day that The guy who ended up being my kids dad and I would sleep together. It was a hasty thing that happened at a very vunerable time. But we ended up in love and dating soon after. He was a hippie soul, and introduced me to many of the things I cherish and while heartedly believe now. I had wanted to be homeless since I met this guy called Homeless Dave at a party in Mountain Grove, Missouri. I envied him. I always wanted to just sneak away from my ex in the middle of the night and just walk and keep walking. I figured I'd do it one day, but I didn't know how soon it would actually be. My new boyfriend and his friend's family had a plan to go to Colorado. So I said fuck it, and that I'd go too. I didn't know these people from Adam. They move in with me, and I instantly regreted it. I didn't have a kid at the time, and I never thought I would have one because I didn't like fucking kids. Well, this whole thing was turning into a shit show. Long story short, their plan was for me to financially support everyone with the new money from selling the house. Which wasn't going to happen. So, I have to be the worst person in the world and say no to a family, because all it would do is bring me down. It was hard. I still feel guilty, but the gift of being in the present (future) is that they are still in the same boat. Divorced. Had more kids, in jail, on drugs, etc. No matter what I would have done back then, it wouldn't have changed their future. So I go to Colorado, alone...minus my dog and cat. I gave away everything I owned. I took clothes, pictures, and an open mind. And kitty litter and dog food. I make the trip totally alone, 19 years old, first time free, and totally in love. So, the plan was to go to Boulder and be homeless. But I had a home, I had family, I had people who cared about me. So I wasn't homeless, I was houseless. And I wanted to be. At this time, the big flood in Boulder had just happened, so there were not only regular homeless, but there were displaced victims of a natural disaster there too. And I say homeless because it is the PC thing to say. Hobo is insulting apparently. And I mean that with all the sarcasm. I stayed at the park in Boulder, right by the library. The mix of people were rich Boulder college kids, retirees, teens who left home just because, 20 something year old stoners, drugies, or 40 something year olds who were kicked out of the crazy homes back in the day. Some people lived in tents, motel rooms, cars, storage units. Even if some of them had money, they still lived like that. I met a ton of real people. I mean, as far as they knew, I didn't have anymore or less than they did. I didn't tell a whole lot of people that I just sold a home. I didn't want to get robbed or anything. Turns out, it ended up happening. The deadbeat husband with the family that I bailed on, well he stayed in Colorado being a bum while his family was in Missouri. I let him sleep in my car from time to time. In my car, had my dad's jewelry. Gold necklace, a few gold rings... He stole them and hocked them. He stole my cell phone, and a set of tires and rims that I left in Missouri. All for nothing too, if he had stolen my things and bettered his life with it, then I don't care. Rob me fucking blind,if you are going to fix your life. That's a sacrifice I'll take. But he didn't, and he took the last of my dad's things that I had. So there I was in Colorado and the only soul I knew was the guy who I had just started dating a couple weeks ago. He got a job with relief clean up from the flood. So I was just chilling. I had my pug, Rosie on a leash and my cat, Jan in a kitty fabric carrier. I had my back pack with water, snacks, and my recreational tools with me. I would just walk around and take naps in the grass. I'd sit by a creek. Go walk down town. I was just free. It was pretty safe for the most part. I have to say, the worst thing that happened was on one of my first days there. I saw some nerds playing MTG at a table, which was a card game I was familiar with. I join them and before I could even say anything a guy sits by me. He uses my body as a wind shield, leans down and pulls out foil and a straw. I'm in disbelief. Then he exhaled and said, 'It's just meth'. Then he walked away. Shortly after, I left the nerd table to hang out with some other homeless. Another funny story. So, I have my dog Rosie, who was an unbelievably disgusting animal. Nasty mucus filled eyes, a long dry shark skin tongue, that usually had poop stuck to it, because she literally ate shit. So with that horrifing backstory, I would walk around with Rosie and people would ask to take pictures with her. I let about 10 people take them for free. I decided to start charging. I was homeless, so I may as well hustle. This huge black guy with a briefcase come up to me, asks to take a picture of her, and I was like 'what cool thing do you have to trade'? This mother fucker opens up his brief case, that is full of buds of weed, and he throws a handful on the ground. Well that was enough of a payment for me. Never saw him again. Once it got to be October, it was getting pretty cold in Colorado. So we got an apartment in Westminster. Which ended up being the hood. And ya know, we still kept our homeless friends. We would go visit them in the park, or they would come and stay the night. We kept in contact the whole time in Colorado. Those people were 100. And those are the people who most see I'm the sides of the road and look down on them. Honestly most of those people had more money in their pockets then most 40 hour a week workers. I'd say the experience in a whole was humbling. Not just for me but for perspective on other people. I've showered in a homeless shelter. I've ate food from a soup kitchen. I had strangers give me socks and hot dogs, they took time out of their day to give me some comfort. It was a toughening thing too, knowing that I don't need anything or anyone and I'm good. I have it handled. I denied help when I felt like it. Because I knew I had the means if I wanted. I was pretty ghetto at times. I mean, I took sink showers in grocery store bathrooms for shits sake. I highly recommend doing something crazy like this at least one time. The only thing stopping you is you. It is as easy as waking up and giving everything away. Just walking away from everything you know. Right when it is scariest, that's when you jump. Who knows, you may jump into a shit storm, and walk away with less than what you came in with. You may ruin your relationship and be miserable. You may meet the love of your life. You may get pregnant and have the most beautiful baby. Your life may take a complete 180. But wouldn't you rather know what happens? I don't know how anyone could just wonder about these things...jump. It's the best choice I've ever made.

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rueur · 7 years

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Morning Pages (05.01.2017)

Thursday 5th Jan - 7:37 a.m.

I’m already feeling skeptical about this whole morning pages idea. I feel really groggy, and my teeth hurt and my eyes hurt. I need to fart, and my fingers feel really weird typing right now. I don’t think I had a rough night though. I woke up at 3 a.m., maybe halfway through 3 a.m., with my right ear turning all liquidy so I had to wash my fingers, naturally. I flicked on the lamp, checked to see that Fish was still alive (because he swallowed this piece of grass whole yesterday, like it ran the length of his body and I thought he would choke on it and die), and then washed my hands in the dim bathroom. I then climbed back in bed and tried to fall back asleep but it took a while, honestly. I was conscious of how dark it was when I got back in bed and then felt like something was touching my legs again, my feet I mean. And then I thought I’d have to sleep on my other side because of my ear, but I couldn’t do that because I was paranoid that there was something in the room with me. I’ve paused now. I’m not writing. I feel like it’s hard for me to write about this fear of mine. I only get it when I sleep alone. I feel like it’s a defense mechanism to loneliness: fear of being in the presence of spirits. Because really, being here alone was my choice. Being alone at home, sleeping alone at home, is technically not really my choice but I made peace with it. Kind of. Before I came here, it was hard for me to fall asleep in the dark. I think that when I go back home, it’ll still be hard for me to fall asleep in the dark, because I know that my grandma is at home. Or Bugger. I don’t mind if Bugger is still keeping me company, because I love him. I really do. But I also want him to move on. His life as a dog was so tragic, he deserves something better. I don’t want him to be stuck as a tragic ghost dog. Like when Jasper dies, I think I’ll want him to move on immediately. Hopefully Jasper will live a long cat life though.

I felt like putting a paragraph here to not make this seem as rambly as it’s naturally going to be. This is stream-of-consciousness anyway. I’m also constantly worrying about how I’m going to store this stuff. I was thinking of putting it all on a blog? Like every morning I’d add a 3-page entry (or thereabouts) of my stream-of-consciousness morning page of the day. I don’t think I have enough space on Google Drive, so I think I’ll need to put it somewhere else. And my laptop doesn’t have enough space either. I need to get that fixed.

I’ve paused again. I tried to read what I’d written, but I know that I can’t. Julia Cameron said not to in ‘The Artist’s Way’. Lord help me, I hope something comes out of this trial. I think that something will have to; everyone else who’s tried this on Goodreads has said that it helped them. Anyway, I think I should keep talking about 3 a.m. last night, to be honest with you. I tried falling back asleep, I tried sleeping on my other side, and could do neither. Then, begrudgingly, I got up, lifted the blind an inch or so, and then went back to sleep. Wait, no, I turned the lamp back on and tried to sleep with the lamp on but I couldn’t do that to Fish. It was too bright and I’m constantly afraid that I might kill Fish. Fish is not my fish, by the way. He is a near-twelve year-old goldfish who got attacked, like mauled, by a cat when he was around five years old. Emily told me this. And when they found him they thought he was dead. But a couple of hours later, he started twitching and trying to breathe, and Emily rushed to get him back into the water and somehow, miraculously, he made a full recovery and is still alive like seven years later! This is an OLD goldfish, who has undeniably lived. And I need to keep him alive? But so far, so good. I started house-sitting on the 17th of December and now it’s the 5th of January, and I will be here until the 23rd of January. Emily is my old drama teacher. She lives in a small one bedroom apartment in Northcote; she posted on Facebook a while ago that she was looking for a house-sitter/pet-sitter for the summer and I volunteered immediately. I would’ve done it for free because I’ve always wanted to live in Northcote. It’s honestly beautiful. But she’s paying me, $100 a week. Which I’m not complaining about, I’ll need money before the semester starts because I know I’ll have nothing left besides my savings at the end of this year, if I don’t get a job. I quit my old job and Thailander, this Thai restaurant. They were paying illegal wages. I was getting $13 an hour, and I was also being pretty overworked. I quit at a time back when a lot of people were quitting, actually. At the time that I was quitting, Bao and Winnie (my old bosses) were losing not just me, but also Waen and Doro. Waen (whose name is actually also Winnie, but because of bosslady Winnie, we had to call her Waen) was a backpacker/student from Thailander who came to Melbourne to work so that she could take holidays from her jobs on her holiday and then go road tripping around Australia. In her year here, I think she saw more of the country than I’ve seen. I’m pretty sure she went to Central Australia, and Western Australia, and I haven’t been there. And Doro is a very philosophical chef, who I still have on Facebook (I have Waen too, she’s very artistic) and whose page is filled every day with the most inspiring, assuring stuff. It’s kind of refreshing. Anyway, those two (aside from L as well), were the people I loved working with the most. L was the head chef at Thailander. He was so good at his job that he was actually paid minimum wage, but damn did he deserve double that at the least.

My shoulders are getting really tired from typing this out. And it is fast approaching 8 a.m. and I’ll need to get up and feed the cats soon. I’m a little anxious about that. Emily has two cats too: Bruno and Romulus (Romy). Bruno is thirteen and has seen more death-defying action in his life than even Fish. Bruno was hit by a car twice, and to make things even worse, he has recently been diagnosed with hyperthyroidism, and also his pancreas has trouble functioning. SO, he doesn’t take in nutrients properly, his hips have been displaced permanently and when he walks it’s always with a bit of a limp and also slightly veering to the right. I have to give him two sets of medication two times a day: a capsule mushed in with his wet food, and thyroid cream rubbed into his ears. Romy is the most low maintenance of the bunch, and the fluffiest, and the fattest. He’s seven, and apparently he was a wild cat before Emily adopted him. Emily says that the stray instincts are still with him.

Oh man, I didn’t even finish talking about Thailander. Fish is looking at me like he wants food. I don’t even know if it’s a boy or a girl fish, I’ve just been calling it a male this whole time but I honestly have no idea, nor does Emily. Ugh, this morning pages thing is getting quite old. Right now it just feels like a diary to me. This isn’t even stream-of-consciousness, I’m just writing about my life. Maybe I’m doing it wrong? But Julia Cameron said there’s no wrong way of doing it, as long as you get three pages out. I have to admit that the original settings for this word document were Arial font, at size 11 and I changed it to size 12 so I’d have to write less. But I think size 12 is reasonable.

I just scrolled down to look at how blank the rest of this final page is and it’s stressing me out. I have something pulling at my back. Not a presence, just a tired muscle. Then I shouldn’t say ‘I have something pulling’ should I? I should just say, there’s a muscle in my back that’s causing me grief. I took a second to sit up just then, because I didn’t like lying on my stomach. And as soon as I sat up, I felt all the blood rush to my head. I’ve been lying down for so long. I kept waking up at 5 a.m., 6 a.m., 6:30 a.m., and kept thinking ‘maybe I should do the three pages now, or now...or now!’ and kept making myself fall back asleep. When I saw 7:30 a.m., I just had to get up. I was tempted to write them at 3 a.m. when I couldn’t sleep, because I was wide awake and it was technically morning, and I was also feeling a lot at the time. I was afraid. I opened the blinds a little and then tried sleeping with the lamp off but more natural light coming in from the street, and I thought it would be fine. But then the bottom of the blind started hitting the window frame in the night breeze. I stared at it with frustration for some time, timing how often it happened, and then decided to finally say that I was being ridiculous (fuck it! I didn’t know if I was going to allow myself to swear in these pages, I feel like I swear too much), rolled over onto my other side and fell asleep! Who knew that all you needed to get a job done was an overwhelmingly stubborn desire to just get that job done!

Anyway, back to Thailander. I miss L. I miss Hassan, the cute Pakistani chef I worked with on Sundays (11/12 - 9 p.m.) rolling into work super late and super hungover. I miss that whole work environment, honestly. But my restaurant shut down after Doro, Waen and I left. Two of their restaurants shut down actually, out of their original four. Now it’s just the little place in the QV basement, and their very first store on Collins Street. I also miss working in the city, and working in hospitality in the city. I meet a lot of really interesting people. I met Isaac, and Greg, and Andrew. Isaac is a pianist and a musical director. Very talented, very young, very busy. Greg works in set design. He’s a grizzled dude in singlets and he has a big, greyish beard and he’s gluten free. So is Isaac, actually. And they knew each other but they never came in to eat at the same time. Isaac only came in a handful of times though, and while he never left a tip, he did leave his phone number, which was cute. Okay, I’m out of pages. I’ll tell you about Andrew tomorrow morning then?

#morning pages #stream of consciousness #or at least it's supposed to be #1 #05.01.2017

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