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weirdmageddon · 2 years

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ESSAY ABOUT THE SPAMTON SPECIL FUN PAK AIR FRESHENER

so the second wave of Spamton's SPECIL Fun Pak!!! from fanger shipped out and i got mine. of great interest to me was the air freshener. not only because it displays a clearer image of big shot-era spamton in a red suit and yellow tie reminiscent of mettaton’s TV host outfit, but had singlehandedly changed how the whole fandom perceived how he looked back in the day.

but also the smell. even though multiple people had commented on how potent it was, i only heard two specific descriptions: one said it smelled like cologne, and another, my friend, said it “reeks of grass and citrus. aromatic hell. it smells like someone dumped a gallon of cheap fragrance on him instead of making him take a shower,” and that they could “STILL SMELL IT THROUGH THE CABINET IN WHICH HE IS IMPRISONED”

so i knew that as soon as this pack arrived, i would open it holding my breath and take a giant whiff, nostrils right on the freshener. and that’s exactly what i did. you can’t really expect to know the way something smells until you actually smell it. but regardless, what i think what most accurately gets it across is “kitchen cleaning agent with cologne and shaving cream undertones”

but this is actually a known smell. and it’s likely you’ve smelled it before: it has nearly the same smell as the Black Ice freshener from Little Trees. upon looking up the scent, Black Ice has quite a collective reputation and implications tied into it that are think are simultaneously hilarious and rather sad in the context of spamton.

i googled “black ice smell” and there were tons of reddit posts about it that were downright hilarious that gave me a lot of insight not only into the nature of how people feel about the smell but its collective Lore and what it symbolizes. yeah this scent has lore.

here are some favorite excerpts so you get an idea of how people generally feel about it:

• “When it literally face fucks you as soon as you open the door it’s a problem. And recently it’s been like every single Uber I’ve taken. My throat hurts, my eyes burn, I feel like I’m getting exposed to carcinogens. I don’t want to screw drivers over by down rating them from the ridiculous stench but DAMN” • “It's the Axe deodorant of car air fresheners” • “Seen these all the time in ratty Uber/Lyft cars. Occasionally the Black Ice stench sticks to me so strongly that I've had to shower and change (and launder the clothes immediately so they don't contaminate my laundry basket).” • “It's definitely the worst smelling tree of the air freshener family. It smells like a large Italian man in an Adidas track suit is sitting behind me.” • “Jesus Christ. I had ONE of those in my car back in high school and it was so strong that I couldn't breathe without coughing. How does that person have so many without going into shock?” • “every time you get out of your car people should either have an allergic reaction to the strength of the scent or wonder wtf you're trying to cover up smell-wise.” • “Pulling that odor into my nose makes me think of my expired grandfather’s cologne having sex with a ten-cent whore” • “Black ice smells like teenage angst it is as far as you can get from old lady’s... smells like a 14 year axe bombed himself” • “It smells like douchebag but I like it”

there are more comments you should read here

apparently this scent’s potency is well-known for being utilized by people who smoke weed in the car to cover up substance stench. except instead of actually neutralizing the potency like milk to capsaicin, it just layers itself on top of it, resulting in a chemical cacophony to your senses. people trying to hide the smell of illegal substances tend to take like at LEAST 10 of these trees and hang them up in the car in what is known as a “felony forest”. this is so well known that cops will apparently recognize more than two air fresheners, especially of this specific scent, as being suspicious because of how potent it is for covering up smells.

another the thing with these Little Trees things are that you’re supposed to keep them inside the plastic and cut a small bit of it open like the instructions say to do, otherwise the scent is overwhelming. but people don’t know that and crack open the entire thing and the smell gets EVERYWHERE, especially one as pungent as this. so that makes it even funnier somehow.

not only this, but the smell itself is just tacky. it’s trashy, as you can probably infer from the above comments. it’s so fake. and i think that is also a big part for why it works for spamton. there’s no natural analogue equivalent.

a person on reddit replying to someone born without a sense of smell who asked what Black Ice was like described it perfectly this way:

“it's unpleasant to a lot of people. A smell that does not have an analogue existing in nature. that's pretty much all you need to know. edit: little trees' own website describes it as "A mysteriously enticing masculine scent of woods and citrus." i guess i can see that but to me it is damn rank. like terrible cologne on a dude with bad body odor. Not to mention, these synthesized scents are not a perfect match to their natural counterparts. Like how Grape bubblegum tastes like the color purple; a strawberry little tree air freshener does not smell like any strawberry ive ever consumed. so imagine someone mixing chemicals to come up with the smell of "mystery, masculinity, the woods, and citrus"”

but like. you have to think about this now. i love the implications and symbolism of this. fangamer knew what they were doing by choosing Black Ice as the scent. it’s so trashy. it smells synthetic, it’s like the neon green and orange of smells. it’s so pungent and cheap, so much so that it’s used en masse in cars to mask unwanted smells, especially weed smoke. this miasmic aura it gives off carries with it embedded assumptions. you just know what you’re getting into. i don’t think there’s another air freshener scent out there with this kind of reputation.

the way this implies spamton smells like this is hilarious because you KNOW spamton is dousing himself in this to appear like he smells good to hide the smell of soggy cardboard, but you can tell it’s fake and desperate. this is the smell of desperation to appear presentable. and i don’t think they could’ve gone with anything more fitting.

#spamton #deltarune #analysis

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chao-writes-stuff · 3 years

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DELTARUNE SPOILERS

Heyyy! I wrote a thing involving Jevil and the Chapter 2 Superboss! I'm going to put it under the cut, but at the end, there will also be an Ao3 link if you wanna support me there!

Thank you! Remember to Reblog if you wanna

The Lightner Trio walked down the stairs in the Queen's massive manor, their hurried footsteps echoing like a rough pitter-patter in the technological nightmare. The massive lair confused and bamboozled them, but they definitely wanted to figure out the mystery behind what the Fountains were about, what Queen's true intentions were… and what was in the basement?

"Uhh… Kris?" Ralsei asked, his soft voice echoing out. "Why are we even here? Aren't Queen, Noelle, and Berdly upstairs? And not here…?"

Susie quickly interrupted him, punching his arm lightly to get his attention. "Of COURSE they aren't here. But whatever is here is probably important. Right, Kris?"

"I guess!" The currently blue human replied. "I've been asked by some… guy, about doing these weird favors for him. He really wants me to be alone."

"We sure he ain't a p-" Before Susie could finish her thought, Ralsei muffled her mouth with his scarf. "Who is he? And why does he want you to be alone?"

"His name is Spamton, I think. I don't know much about him, but he gave me this Loaded Disk earlier, and--"

Suddenly, a strange, chaotic voice rang out. Everyone recognized it. The tail attached to Ralsei's cloak popped off, diamonds and hearts flying out with it. The tail spun and took form, and the chaotic Jester they quite literally put to rest yesterday was reawakened.

"Spamton? SPAMTON? The same Spamton who wished for me to go, to go, and be free, free?" Jevil laughed chaotically, with Ralsei caught quite off guard. "You know him?"

"That dorito chip was part of the reason why I was set free, he was! He used to rule this world, before the Queen I've been hearing oh so much about took over. Oh, I MUST know more of how you met that ridiculous lunatic! And that's coming from ME, ME! Spamton, oh Spamton, I'd like to have a word with him~!" Jevil looked quite pissed off, his normally jovial expression looking slightly stern.

"I didn't wanna go down there anyway. Just come back, okay? You're kind of carrying us with your defense boost." Kris, with a neutral expression, gave the clown the disk they were gifted by the malignant salesman, and watched as Jevil immediately sprinted off into the basement. They could hear an echoed "Buh bye~! I'll be back in a few hundred words!" As the jester descended into the decrepit basement below...

Jevil entered the musty, rotting cellar. Despite him rarely stepping on the ground, each step he did take left a haunting impact on his feet. It was silent, save for the occasional rustling of his clothes. He didn't have long to do this. His physical form only had a few hours to be out and about before he solidified, just like the young boy and the puzzle freak. Thankfully, that's all he needed. He was getting excited, almost giddy, to interact once more with his old acquaintance. Oh, what a wonderful conversation they'd have!

He didn't walk for too much longer before he found the train station that was buried deep below. Or was it a roller coaster? Whoever had this built clearly had some elaborate roundabout in mind… too bad they were still imprisoned, haha! Jevil walked and floated across the tracks, reaching a room with a decaying robot inside.

He knew this was a bad idea. But when did he ever have good ideas?

Without hesitating, the joker put the disk into the robot. At first, nothing happened, and he was getting impatient VERY quick. He gave the robot a swift kick in the lower area, before stepping back out of the room.

Step…

SLAM! The clown was admittedly caught off guard with how fast the silhouette from above came and pushed him onto his knees. With a small gasp for air, Jevil looked up slowly at the encroaching menace. The jagged movements, the glitchy, unsolidified form… this was him alright.

"KRIS… MY LOYAL [Sponge!] THANK… YOU. THE [Clown Around Town!] I REMEMBER YOUR [Disgusting] FACE. EVERYONE WAS SO [Thrilled] TO SEE YOUR [Calcified] FACE." The massive robotic behemoth loomed over Jevil, rage in his glasses. Spamton NEO.

The clown got up, a smug, shitfaced expression on his mug. He knew damn well that the dorito in front of him was pissed off, so he leaned back in the air to retort. "At least I drink plenty of milk, uee hee hee! As for you, you haven't changed one bit since we last spoke~! Or would it be a byte, a byte? Regardless, I do hope you've given up on the illusion of freedom, freedom~! The only one who can be free is MEEE!"

The robotic menace swung around to the other side of Jevil, making it very clear who was in charge of the conversation. A small concentrated blast of Pipis was fired at the jester, pushing him back with a surprising amount of force. "YOU ACT SMUG, BUT YOU [Crashed our stocks!] AND THEN YOU [Spoiled relations with our Esteemed Partners!] I DON'T KNOW HOW YOU… GOT IN HERE, YOU… [Tuna Fish,] BUT I'M NOT FALLING FOR YOUR [Roundabout!] AGAIN!"

Jevil laughed maniacally at this thought. This guy was mad! Over something that happened how long ago? Why even bother holding a grudge still? Petty, petty! He knew why, and it's why he came back too. "You influenced him. That pretty little kitty. You gave him enough funds to release me into that carousel of bliss and innocence! But I wasn't done, not one bit! And all those years, spent being free… they made me realize something, my dearest Spamton."

The oddly calm tone coming from the jester put Spamton NEO at an incredible amount of unease. "WHAT? WHAT COULD YOUR [Calcified Lump] THINK OF THAT WOULD MEAN ANY GODDAMN THING TO ME?"

"I CAN DO ANYTHING!"

The joker used his latent power to pelt the giant mecha with small white hearts. Spamton was caught off-guard, stumbling back a fair amount. Of course, you have to fight fire with fire, so the robot used his abilities to send out a Big Shot of blue Spamton Head Pipis.

"YOU [Saturated Marketshare!] YOU CAN'T SIMPLY ATTACK ME AND EXPECT IT TO WORK [As seen on TV!] I'M A [BIG SHOT!] [BIG SHOT!!!]"

Jevil hopped up onto the ceiling, clearing the first few Pipis on the lower row heading his way. Unfortunately, the higher row caught him clean in the face as he bounced between the two, making a small Jack-in-the-box melody as he pinged around.

"SPAMTON, MY BELOATHED! I DON'T THINK YOU UNDERSTAND, UNDERSTAND, WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU'RE TRAPPED IN A CAGE WITH A SHARK, A SHARK! YOU GET BITTEN AND CHEWED UP!"

The fool retaliated by running circles around Spamton, turning into a carousel of horse bullets! The robot, in a surprising feat of puppeteering, dodged the attack almost perfectly… until a stray horsie cut a string, sending the mech's right arm into the horse race. One thing about arms with cannons on them? They fire.

As soon as it happened, Jevil was face to face with a swarm of Pipis all around him. He was stuck. All of them exploded brilliantly, sending the clown flying clean across the rotting tracks and into the wall. Tauntingly, mockingly even, Spamton NEO retorted.

"I'M THE SHARK NOW, JEVIL! I'VE CHEWED UP SO MANY [Failed Buisness Partners] THAT I COULD MAKE A WHOLE [Presentation] OUT OF THEM! STAY OUT OF MY GODDAMN WAY, OR [Sparkle like new!] YOU BRAT."

The buisnessman charged at Jevil, his hands becoming phones. "IT'S FOR YOU." Suddenly, before either of them could react, loud blasts of garbage noise manifest expelled from the phones, attacking the court jester with white blasts of energy. There was nothing he could do to stop this robot's onslaught, it looked like.

"OH SPAMTON, IS THAT WHAT YOU THINK? THAT YOU'RE THE ONE WHO'S SO POWERFUL RIGHT NOW, NOW? I'D SUGGEST YOU LOOK UP, UP! YOU'RE NOTHING WITHOUT THOSE STRINGS IMPRISONING YOU, UEE HEE HEE! YOU'RE NOT A BIG SHOT, YOU'RE JUST A LAZY FRAUD WHO CAN'T STOP HANGING ON TO HIM! I GUESS SLEEPING FOR 100 YEARS DOESN'T MAKE LITTLE OLD ME MISS MUCH, RIGHT?"

Without warning, Jevil was myseriously gone from his corner. The spamware looked frantically for his target, before being struck in the arm, the leg, and the chest by scythes. Devilsknives. The last knive cut a few strings clean off the puppet, who briefly hit the ground before rising back up.

"SHUT UP! SHUT UP! [Hyperlink Blocked.] I'M STILL HIS LOYAL ASSOCIATE! HE MAY NOT HAVE TALKED TO ME IN [Employee of The Month for 144 months!] BUT HE'S STILL THERE…"

Jevil interrupted him cleanly and concisely. "FACE IT. YOU'RE NO BIG SHOT ANYMORE, SPAMTON G. SPAMTON. ALL YOU ARE IS A FAILED INVESTMENT, UEE HEE HEE!"

With those words, a purple blast came from behind the clown, striking the robot right in the noggin. He flew back a bit, giving the joker enough time to turn around to meet his esteemed guests.

"Ah, my imprisoners~! Didn't you guys have a Queen to rock-em sock-em?"

Susie immediately cut him off, as she punched him in the arm (causing his head to spring up, naturally.) "Well, Kris over here couldn't shake the feeling things were off. So they forced us down here, and now they're right. Somehow?"

"I know I'm right.. Jevil, who the hell is Spamton?" Kris replied, their worry about the situation starting to rise.

"It's of no concern to you~! His screws were almost as loose as mine, and I don't think it's my job to tighten them~! Uee hee hee! Thank you for the help, but I can do anything~! Even tell you guys that 3 coasters are about to come down and force you guys along for the ride~!"

Ralsei immediately stuttered something out. "Three… what?"

And just like that, with a loud rumbling, the heroes were swept up into 3 old, rusty carts, barrelling down the track. Jevil laughed to himself, proud of what he got to do. "Ah well, it's a shame I can't finish him personally…"

"But oh well! Are you proud, proud? They took care of him…"

"Doctor."

Ao3 Link!

#Deltarune #Deltarune Spoilers #Deltarune Chapter 2 #Jevil #spamton #kris #ralsei #susie #undertale #okay cool thank you byyyyeeeee

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