Rio & Buster Pt.1

Rio: [Okay, so, depending when your birthday falls and when this getaway has been booked for, telling you when we’re told, which is assumedly when you’re like oh I might have a party and he’s like nope, you can’t]

Rio: I’m going on a minibreak for my birthday, thought I better let you know

Buster: Yeah, flights are non-refundable so

Rio: I had to ‘ruin my own surprise’ to find out, sorry

Buster: Of course you did, don’t worry about it

Buster: like I said, I hadn’t booked anything yet

Rio: Good stuff

Buster: As long as you have a good birthday

Rio: Cheers

Rio: sure I will

Buster: See you at Christmas then

Rio: Can’t wait

Buster: Me either

Rio: It’s always good, whatever family drama is happening any given year, no one cares for at least one day

Buster: That’s the spirit, babe

Rio: You know me

Rio: any excuse to be merry

Buster: Right

Rio: [let him go girl, shh]

Buster: [that wasn’t awks at all and his OTT gift isn’t gonna feel so out of the blue or anything after how you left that, oh lads]

Rio: [the way we’re gonna have whiplash about this like what, you don’t hate me again]

Buster: [a very confusing vibe to have to walk into christmas with]

Rio: [I’m like do you say something or wait because lowkey it’s such a massive thing you’d be better to wait in person but also hello, what do I say, oh lads lol]

Buster: [thank god that there are gonna be so many people there so you can avoid each other for a bit without it being obvious until you collect yourselves/have some dutch courage]

Rio: [and people do start their merriment in the AM like savages on Christmas so by the time lunch is there and been consumed, we’re all a little cray, even the children with the sheer excitement lol]

Buster: [He is defs one of those savages because clearly dreading having to see her and also Liam knowing she’s done absolutely fuck all about this and Edam are having an adorable fam christmas moment right in front of y’all’s eyes]

Rio: [Mhmm, there isn’t weird energy at all, totally not simultaneously avoiding and staring at Liam like why and why, not to mention doing the same with Buster for different reasons, what a day, don’t really blame you for getting drunker than you normally would]

Buster: [but if he’s a dick to Liam in some way, she’ll have to say something/take him aside before everyone else is like ??! cos can you not please]

Rio: [a good place to start, at least there’s plenty of places within a pub so areas are quieter than others without it being like why are you chilling here ‘cos sometimes we all need a breather from family fun times lol, not wanting to just push you away so lowkey pulling you to the bar like let’s make you a drink rn haha it’s all fun and games, nothing to see here people]

Buster: [looking at her like excuse you when they get there because he’s the one who pulls her around places usually lol ‘What’ll it be?’ like y’all really are here for drinks but we know that’s not the case because if it was he’d have just got her one she likes without asking]

Rio: [‘please don’t’ quietly but firmly, because the last thing we need is you and Liam having any kind of fight, not even answering about the drink because not the point but we’re not going to stop you making your own]

Buster: [‘I swore I wouldn’t hit him’ like I haven’t and therefore I’ve done nothing wrong]

Rio: [‘you said you’d stay away from him, it’s not hard’ because we know they’re in their own bubble, better and worse]

Buster: [‘for you’ because we’ve noticed you hardcore avoiding that man and also us, obvs]

Rio: [shrug like yes? Like you’re really owning that decision and it doesn’t just feel necessary to the point the opposite is impossible ‘there’s so many people here’ gesturing off to the main function room where basically everyone is, as if we can just pick anyone else and have a gay old time]

Buster: [‘not enough’ because the tea is that there could never be enough people around anywhere at any time to make it easy for him to ignore her or Liam rn but soz hun you’re less important as we’re blurting this out]

Rio: [we can never just outright lie, even if it would make the concept of y’all ignoring/getting over each other so much easier, we just can’t, soz ‘I know’ looking over at said room of fam now, thinking ‘may as well have a [some festive twist on a cocktail ‘cos the only one I can think of is a snowball and that’s a lot to commit to so I won’t be specific lol]’]

Buster: [making that drink for her like the gentleman he is as though he isn’t heartbroken she didn’t spend her birthday with him]

Rio: [aren’t we all boy, aren’t we all, it was clearly a terrible trip before the being outshone fiasco ‘that must’ve been so much money…’ literally as you’re thinking about all this because you have no clue how to bring this up so may as well be accidentally]

Buster: [‘that isn’t what matters’ soz but he doesn’t care about money that’s his level of privilege]

Rio: [‘but it does mean something’ like you wouldn’t just spend a load of money on a literal holiday for anyone, boy, we’re not convinced]

Buster: [‘I meant what I said’ because he did about wanting her bday to be memorable, not making that clear but we know you’ll remember]

Rio: [‘it was me who didn’t stick to what I said’ the I’M SORRY thankfully not being shouted but you know it’s there in how we sound about it ‘I don’t know how to say thank you, though’ ‘cos the word is not enough]

Buster: [‘your birthday should be special’ calling her special and making it blatant she deserves it specifically with the amount of emphasis on the your and there’s also the unspoken no matter what/if I’m there or not and you don’t need to say sorry or thanks being all in his tone and mannerisms rn]

Rio: [‘it’s not like it’s your job to make sure it happens, shouldn’t be’ because we know it really was you doing the most there, despite this]

Buster: [‘I wasn’t going to let [whatever her bf is called whether he’s got his name right or it’s just close enough because not even trying to be shady or funny here with it you’re simply that irrelevant to us hun]’ as if her flop bf could frankly but you’re too !! about it to be cocky ‘it definitely shouldn’t be his’]

Rio: [‘it isn’t, wasn’t’ too fast but we don’t have to be nice about your trip now because you’ve shown your true colours since with all the fallout so ‘I’d have rather stayed home’ like legitimately would have rather have been with our family than what that turned out to be, and that’s not shade by comparison it’s like, at least my mum would’ve given a shit and got me nice things etc]

Buster: [‘You could’ve-’ stopping himself because he’s not so drunk he actually believes she could’ve just told him what a flop this bf was being and dropped it all and gone off with him]

Rio: [‘I’m not good at ending things’ as a fact because yeah, we should’ve but we would’ve felt too bad and this felt easier but it’s not like that did her any favours in the long run]

Buster: [‘I don’t have a problem with it’ because he is that cold bitch or so he projects, we can drop our flop sister like a stone and be unfazed, ignore the whole Chlo/James/Jay situation etc etc, saying this as if he could’ve dumped her bf for her, I lol]

Rio: [‘what’s that like?’ as a genuine question and not a slam]

Buster: [‘necessary’ it sounds like he’s dissing her and calling her a soft touch or something but that’s just how he feels with the life he’s been living]

Rio: [do a breath out like yeah, probably]

Buster: [doing his own like a little sigh ‘go and enjoy yourself, yeah?’ meaning on this ski trip because I doubt very much you have yet with all that bf drama going on]

Rio: [thinking he means right now like oh, okay ‘to the point’ like lol, I got it]

Buster: [doing a wrist grab to stop her from going as if she was gonna leave rn immediately before he can stop himself, excuse us everyone because it’s so soft but so !! ‘No, go skiing’ in such an oh you manner]

Rio: [do a little soft lol because truly not what we thought you were saying ‘right now? Can I have time to pack?’]

Buster: [shaking his head like nope leave get out, but he’s clearly as amused ‘I’ll send you [however many outfits she would need for however long this trip is, just being listed cos you know he’s thought hard about every aspect of this trip and imagined her there in every possible scenario not at all casually and we’ve gotta spell that out to her]’ as if that’s nbd and not the most daddy vibe]

Rio: [sitting down as he’s speaking and not taking your eyes off him like you are literally entranced by this story he’s telling you right now because it’s too everything you’re about ‘you’ve already sent me outfits’ as if any of those date night lewks will serve you well for a ski hol but you have to remind him so he doesn’t think you’ve forgot either]

Buster: [‘you’ve already worn them’ which sounds like outfit repeating is a crime and that’s the only reason they won’t do but likewise gotta remind her that he’s seen the pics of when she has for the absolute mood that is]

Rio: [‘I wore [one of our faves] on my birthday’ really blurting that out but we have to because the point is we were thinking about you, not whatever we were doing]

Buster: [giving her a compliment really specific to that particular outfit whether the colour brings out her eyes or it’s flattering in some other way, the point is, he’s letting her know he remembers said outfit vividly because he does every outfit she tried on and he bought that day + leaning in to say this basically in her ear so nobody else hears it so that’s an added mood]

Rio: [closing your eyes because if you look at him right now you know it’s going to be THE most ‘I’ve missed you’ because something you could say, not technically a cause for concern]

Buster: [how innocent that is not would make him die though, saying her name with so much feeling in response but quiet enough it’s just for her thankfully]

Rio: [reaching out to hold his hand because there’s a bar y’all are basically hid behind so it’s not gonna be noticed and maybe you’re just trying to move him so you can squeeze past on the off chance it was ‘will you forgive me about my birthday?’ seriously because we do feel bad about it]

Buster: [looking down at their hands and back up at her as if she only did it to be forgiven but he can’t help but play with her fingers the exact same way he did when they were on their dinner date because he knows she’s being serious actually ‘Will you spend the next one with me?’ since we all remember when he said he’d spend his 19th with her, so promise to do the same, thank you]

Rio: [a face like who, me? So innocent it is now the opposite, nodding SO enthusiastically ‘if I have a new boyfriend, I’ll dump him’ so casual, not like this paired with us resting our other hand on your leg is giving the most loved up vibes ever ‘I swear’]

Buster: [‘Don’t get a new boyfriend’ as if that’s so casual and not the most possessive thing you’ve ever said, boy, and paired with him doing the kind of move where he’s acting like he has to get past/go behind her to reach something on this bar purely so he can brush up and press against her]

Rio: [we’re pushing back against you because there’s no world in which we’re capable of doing anything but ‘I don’t want one’ on the gasp you also HAVE to do; like boyfriends just happen to you, kinda, but the what we actually want is blatant and there’s no point denying that]

Buster: [meanwhile we can’t deny the noise that’s escaping from him when he tries to answer her by saying good or whatever he was gonna say, thank god this pub is noisy and full of peeps always when y’all are around each other, it wouldn’t be loud but there’s no styling it out if anyone else heard it]

Rio: [looking back at him like you didn’t realise how in his way you were like oh no, flipping round to face him to do the dance of moving him one way and yourself another like there we go, lemme help you but really you’re just pressing against him in another way ft eye contact]

Buster: [I love this for you both, dangerous and ridiculous though it is and we’ve gotta add to it him lifting her up so she can reach something because she is smol and that’s believable, not at all just seeing how many positions y’all can be in and how it feels, nope]

Rio: [acting like the noise you’re making is you struggling to reach something as you stretch and not what we all know that it is, pass whatever random thing you’ve now picked up to him ‘teamwork’ like you’re just getting on exceptionally well and this is very platonic and you’re not holding the thing between your chest and his so you’re that close]

Buster: [also sitting her on the bar at one point like she’s so in your way you’ve gotta for a sec but we all know the real reason and if you wanted her out of your way sir you wouldn’t be standing as close as you are still]

Rio: [never wearing a long enough dress/skirt for all this so we know that you can see a lot right now and we’re absolutely fine with that and our face is only red because it’s warm with all these people around, grab a bag of crisps and share them with him by popping them in his mouth at random intervals]

Buster: [I’m so relieved that those crisps are shutting him up somewhat though it won’t stop him asking her ‘Do you need me to take you outside for some air?’ like that’s not TOO dangerous and I forbid it lol, just being a concerned cousin btw, if anyone’s listening in haha]

Rio: [putting his hand on your forehead like am I hot, do I feel hot? When you know you do because you casually feel like you’re on fire ‘it’s the wine’ like wine is a code now because of your dinner date shenanigans, wrapping your own arms around his neck to help yourself down off this bar because any way you can touch him and get him to touch you without it being ‘too far’ is what we must do in this moment]

Buster: [managing to stop himself from going too far with touching her entire face and neck despite how much he wants to because he does have that opportunity to help her down from the bar that he’s ofc making the most of and he’s also shamelessly gonna put an ice cube in her mouth because again can’t get away with rubbing it all over her body but it could just be another crisp or a moment like it, so we are kidding ourselves here]

Rio: [having to hold his fingers between your lips, even for a split second, because yeah, you could be fakeout biting him for bants, but we’re barely even thinking about the excuses at this point]

Buster: [y’all are spiralling and I can’t even blame you with how insane the levels of tension between you have been for the longest time, but thank god there are loads of family members around to cockblock y’all from going outside anywhere together without even realising that’s what they’re doing because we simply wouldn’t be able to stop you from hooking up rn otherwise]

Rio: [mhmm, too much family, not enough randoms and distraction, like some child is gonna come over and want crisps themselves in a minute or an adult is gonna want another drink, so you have to stop, because we’re literally tugging at the hem of whatever he’s wearing on his top half, like are we trying to get you to take a layer off because you’re hot too or are we simply pulling you into us]

Buster: [I’m too here for this I’m like yes do it, Junie no, we cannot, I’m not rewriting st paddy’s it was great, get away from each other for a bit, thank you]

Rio: [as long as you don’t fully hookup, and lbr, we know you’re both into the idea of getting away with as much as you can in front of the fam so, go take your moments to calm down before it’s not undetectable and we know it won’t be long before you gravitate back together]

Buster: [mhmm we all know you would have been getting up to shit at the christmas dinner table if you weren’t trying to ignore each other at that point, we’re gonna have to say some of the fam get together to play cards or something so you can have a moment like that cos I love a cliche, not soz]

Rio: [that’s a very real vibe, for now, to separate you for long enough, gonna have to say Grace has found and thus cornered you to paint nails or something because that’s not something you can do together without raising eyebrows]

Buster: [me immediately like stay away from Nancy please Grace, knowing what’s coming for y’all]

Rio: [knowing that that kicks off the upcoming Summer, ew, literally like 12, grow up, yes we would throw your nails under the bus right now but we aren’t to know how strange you’re gonna get lmao]

Buster: [do anything but fight Liam to the death, meanwhile, Buster, I know you lowkey don’t wanna spend time with anyone else ever but find something]

Rio: [it’s the way that once we allow ourselves to start, we literally can’t stop checking for him, like he’s not going anywhere and yet 👀]

Buster: [it’s so mutual though, to the point that someone really should’ve clocked it, so many of y’all like Tess and Ali are out here calling themselves observant and knowing but here we are again]

Rio: [the lies we tell ourselves like this hasn’t happened before lmao, oh lads]

Buster: [they gotta be on the same team for whatever game this fam are playing so they can sit really close together with bent heads and all that jazz as well as being on opposite ends of the table for something else, hitting all those poss cliches]

Rio: [absolutely, how you’re going to concentrate in any of these games is another thing entirely but you have to try]

Buster: [this boy is so competitive he’ll find a way to still win somehow lol, god bless]

Rio: [love that for you, as does this girl because we’re not here to downplay any of your achievements just because people think you’re too cocky for their taste]

Buster: [not soz he is actually smart and hardworking and good at things and not just cocky because he’s hot and rich or for no reason whatsoever]

Rio: [we’re here for him for so many reasons and not just because he’s hot and rich, soz haters, and we will have a glorious time despite the still palpable tension]

Buster: [there’s nothing you both love more than doing the most in front of this fam, like we said, and every chance to push every possible moment as far as they can is being taken during every game that’s being played, for sure]

Rio: [sorry it’s basically their kink, we wouldn’t have got this far otherwise]

Buster: [exactly and soz but she’s also had a shit bday and all round shit time lately so she deserves this, imo]

Rio: [my boo says let her have her incest lmao but seriously, the way we’re no longer freaking out about Liam or our breakup, wasn’t going to happen any other way huns]

Buster: [nobody talk to me btw about how he’s putting protective distance between her and Liam at all times in such a deliberately subtle way so that nobody else will be able to say anything but he knows she is and feels safe because that’s so adorable and important]

Rio: [it’s so fine, not at all killing us because of course we can feel it]

Buster: [like, if there was any doubt about how deeply he actually cares, we can’t act like it’s purely a lust thing when he’s doing all this thoughtful chivalry] 

Rio: [oh we know y’all are in love, even if you’re now on the, we just wanna fuck, train of thought to rationalise it]

Buster: [the question is, can we think of any more xmas traditions and activities y’all can use to flirt indecently lmao] 

Rio: [hmm, what else do we do on xmas, it is mostly drinking and games and telly, there could be a movie put on and y’all can either watch and be cosy or use it as a chance to piss off for a minute whilst most are distracted?]

Buster: [I was thinking that because pubs have tvs, also karaoke is always an option that you could use to piss off for a bit because he’s not gonna wanna be involved in that haha] 

Rio: [a good shout, even if it’s gotta be all xmas songs for those of y’all wanting to belt ‘em out]

Buster: [so let’s do the best of both worlds and say you watch the film but piss off during karaoke though you might not be able to be as cosy and couply as you want during said film depending what babies and young kids exist because we all know they gravitate towards Rio because she’s that maternal gal] 

Rio: [that works, I don’t think there’s a huge amount of kids here because it’s the Bibi part of Gen 4 which is mostly non-fam peeps, Libi is nearly 1, Ro is preggo and Toni and Archie exist, that’s about it? Because the younger part of Gen 3 are still tweens, basically so yeah]

Buster: [how awks she’d feel around Libi rn makes me sad] 

Rio: [it is sad because you’re so the bitch to be after cuddles normally so it’s noticeable but literally Toni is the only one old enough to be toddling about and I’m sure you’re kinda clingy to your mother for obvious reasons so]

Buster: [you’re welcome for the lack of fam cockblock for once though lads] 

Rio: [it’s a relatively good time for y’all to be sneaking, unintentional but very helpful lmao, like to think you have a spot by the fire for that christmassy cliche]

Buster: [yes, I love that, also a good reason for y’all to wanna leave that spot when karaoke starts because it’s just too hot by a fire] 

Rio: [it’s a very good excuse that is more legitimate than just pissing off because he doesn’t smoke and we don’t smoke weed to the level we need to do it Xmas day thank you; but whilst the movie is on no one is gonna raise an eyebrow at blankets and being closer to share said blanket because that’s the point]

Buster: [you’d honestly look weirder if you weren’t snuggling is the excuse, tis the vibe] 

Rio: [not sorry we’re taking this and running with it because when else are we having the excuse to be lying our head on his chest]

Buster: [enjoy how wild his heartbeat is because there’s no controlling that however calm and collected he acts all the time] 

Rio: [we really would be because if you needed any confirmation he was also in this and not just playing, there you are, squeeze his hand for that hard same]

Buster: [so glad that a blanket means he can put his arms around her so tight without anyone knowing about it because that’s what’s going happen] 

Rio: [making a happy little squished noise like when you are bear hugged, but literally not louder than the volume of this TV so only he’s gonna hear that]

Buster: [moving like we’re just settling and getting comfy but really he just wants her to keep making happy noises only he can hear because we know he’s so about it] 

Rio: [we definitely are, it is who we are, wrapping our arms around your middle in this snuggle, looking up at him]

Buster: [can’t really get away with her being fully on his lap but getting as close to that as we can, she’s on his leg definitely, very unintentional santa vibes of me there lol] 

Rio: [soz we can’t sit still because you know exactly how we feel about that festive vibe]

Buster: [doing the playing with her necklace move again from their date but this time moving the clasp back round to the back of her neck and really doing the most to touch it and her hair + breath on it which isn’t even deliberate at this point] 

Rio: [thank god for the cosy vibe because we are red as fuck right now, crossing our legs so we’re even more sitting on you without it being super apparent we’ve really got comfortable]

Buster: [gotta touch her leg and just leave his hand there when she’s drawn all that attention to them, can’t not] 

Rio: [little sounds from the effort of not moving excessively to move his hand further]

Buster: [don’t want her to shh ever but doing one in her ear purely because of how hot it is] 

Rio: [pushing your head into his chest like you’re headbutting him for shhing you but again it’s the effort of having any chill]

Buster: [gotta make his own sound about it, we’ll pretend it’s like she’s winded him with that headbutt but it’s so not] 

Rio: [tap his lips literally as fast as that to shh him so it looks purely like bants and not because you wanna feel his breath again]

Buster: [shamelessly pulling at her dress under this blanket the way she did his top before as if it’s not short af and barely there already because of how she’s sitting] 

Rio: [the intake of breath we do as we instinctively push against you, cannot let it out casually]

Buster: [this boy just throwing what caution there was to the wind and bringing her the rest of the way into his lap because duh] 

Rio: [having to cover your mouth like you’re stifling a yawn so the ‘fuck’ doesn’t fully escape because we are dying now]

Buster: [as per it’s beyond mutual and he’s just trying to fully bury his head into her neck and hair, regardless of how not at all casual that is rn, saying his own ‘Jesus Christ’ so quietly but so !!! and on that baby’s bday as well, sir, putting that necklace clasp in his mouth for a sec, blink and you’d miss it but she obvs will not] 

Rio: [gripping onto his legs so hard under this blanket because we can’t handle how this feels and how you’re acting rn AT ALL ‘Buster’ like you’re just whispering for him to stop hogging the blanket or something and not that your brain has malfunctioned at this contact]

Buster: [he can’t even say her name back rn because he’s too !! we’re all just trying to cum and simultaneously not cum in front of our entire extended fam and by all I mean you pair of utter feral savages, the way he has so dramatically manoeuvred her so that they can make the most intense eye contact for a sec because he can’t speak, if any of y’all see that, no you don’t] 

Rio: [it is only sheer dumb luck you do not kiss him because this proximity and intensity demands it but luckily you remember in time and your head lands by his ear instead ‘I want this’]

Buster: [literally, it’s a miracle you both can still keep some awareness of where you are and the things you absolutely can’t get away with, almost proud of you tbh ‘I know what you want’ because he do and he wants it just as much, please whisper that, thanks so much, even though you are moving slightly to make the point and that’s not very subtle] 

Rio: [‘please’ like it’s feasible and you can when you’re already both too close to losing control here]

Buster: [‘we can’t’ as he’s continuing to behave in a way that totally contradicts what he just said]

Rio: [‘you can’ moving further back on him like see]

Buster: [when you were gonna do another shh in her ear like no no don’t be silly but then she moves and he’s dying and trying not to MOAN so he ends up just grazing her earlobe with his teeth for a sec, very much like the quick bite of the necklace clasp, thank god for all her hair so it just looks like you’re trying to whisper very quietly and be considerate]

Rio: [biting the inside of your cheeks so hard because it’s like you passed on the MOAN with that earlobe attention, shamelessly letting his body entirely support yours at this point as a must]

Buster: [he knows what she’s doing because of course he does and even though he isn’t allowed to hear her MOAN fully right here or right now he cannot help desperately wanting to because this is the feral point they’ve reached, so obviously moving in a basically involuntary way like please do it]

Rio: [soz we have to touch ourself because there’s just no way to stop it, its not like you can see from your POV because the point is no one should be able to, moving his hand to his lap like go on]

Buster: [you’ve got this far, boy, there’s likewise no way you’re gonna stop now and be like um no that’s my limit]

Rio: [making your little whimpering noises every time you make accidental contact here]

Buster: [he can’t even shh her any more soz everyone but he’s as close to losing it himself]

Rio: [excuse us everyone nothing to see here, just doing our best to silently masturbate]

Buster: [mhmm, not like the way he’s breathing on her skin again is indecent af because he really wants to kiss her and can’t, no no, and it’s not as if you’ve set yourself an impossible task here]

Rio: [not like it’s entirely too close and would be so easy to take this even further but you cannot]

Buster: [you’re trying to hold onto that last fleeting piece of self control and we respect it]

Rio: [if this film ends before y’all, you’re gonna be fuming]

Buster: [realistically I doubt that even with how careful and near silent you’ve gotta be with all your touching you’re both so ridiculously turned on rn it’s only a matter of time]

Rio: [being able to feel everything you’re doing is all it would take, never mind the situation of where you are and how you’ve been all day ‘you-’]

Buster: [Exactly, I’m honestly surprised it didn’t happen as soon as y’all started touching yourselves, lowkey impressive of you both tbf ‘no, you’ the childishness of that response isn’t lost on me and isn’t reminding me of y’all’s truth or dare moment, it’s fine]

Rio: [just saying ‘you’ over and over, not doing more than mouthing it but with increasing desperation in our expression]

Buster: [whispering her name back the way he could not when he was too overwhelmed as such a definitive no, you because !!!]

Rio: [‘holy fuck’ under your breath because you will never not react the hardest to him saying your name]

Buster: [just like he will never not be so into the way she reacts to it or over getting to say it in this context]

Rio: [‘give it to me’ because a thing you could say if he’d taken your phone or snacks or anything because we need to make you cum and we know how loud in comparison we could say that will get you because it does us]

Buster: [it really would, she knows him so well, you’re gonna have to like fake a sneeze or something sir idk because of how you’re gonna move when you do and there’s no stilling that with sheer force of will]

Rio: [a casual ‘coughing fit’ so we can smack you on the back, by which I mean hold you SO tight whilst we ride this out with you]

Buster: [I was literally like aww as if that was the most romantic thing ever, calm down Junie, a great idea though my boo]

Rio: [calm down is right lmao, I don’t even know how you’re gonna]

Buster: [mhmm, take the rest of this film to try and recover from how intense all that was, physically if not emotionally, because yeah idk how you’re gonna even begin to process any of that]

Rio: [like really, we cannot just sit here and finish this film with y’all like that didn’t just happen so get up, even if you have no real aim of where you are going, just take a sec]

Buster: [soz that you can’t also immediately get up because that’d be weird so you actually are gonna have to sit there and pretend that didn’t happen and hope the fam are engrossed in this film enough that nobody catches your eye or anything because idk how you wouldn’t simply pass away if they did, you’ll have to wait for a while before you go to the bathroom and clean yourself up, but please eventually do, hoping you don’t cross paths with Rio because that’d be awks]

Rio: [soz only one of you can piss off at a time and we moved first because we needed to, nobody come talk to us, thank you]

Buster: [Especially not Edie or Libi or Nancy thanks so much]

Rio: [At least Nancy is the only real candidate for that, even though we’re gonna wanna literally die for that, she’s oblivious]

Buster: [too real and he can’t even come and save you this time because can’t be in the proximity to you rn soz gal]

Rio: [let her brag about her presents probably like she’s a child, you don’t need to really listen, be in your own head about what just happened there and what’s happening now]

Buster: [the other girl from the posh school who I ended up friends with after my german work experience but did not like did that to me once and we were also literally 18, girl no, I hope you gals aren’t propping the bar up because when he’s cleaned himself up he’s gonna drink some more, bad idea though that is and if y’all are he’s gonna have to go direct to the cellar and we all know what’s happening down there on st paddys so that will send me if that’s where you end up hiding for a bit, boy]

Rio: [y’all can be outside ‘cos I’m sure you smoke, all posh girls do and you have a complex about trying to be skinny so you’re welcome boy]

Buster: [again, someone should really question why he’s drinking like a savage again but in this fam that isn’t gonna happen, we all know who your dad is]

Rio: [we all know y’all got your blindspots and this is deffo one of them lmao]

Buster: [I’m sure you and Nancy are still beefing so you can’t steal her stash this time, unlucky hun]

Rio: [when you simultaneous want to talk to him but also never have to see him again so you gotta say something, good idea or nah

Rio: Don’t be weird, yeah

Buster: I’m not, I’m being merry

Rio: I didn’t mean you were

Rio: just that there’s no need to

Buster: You either think I already am or I’m about to be, neither are nice of you

Rio: No, I don’t, don’t question my niceness

Rio: ‘cos I meant weird specifically around me, not in general

Rio: not that anyone here would notice anyway…

Buster: specifically around you is what makes it not nice

Rio: It’d be rude of you to ignore me, yes

Buster: No, it’s rude of you to imply I’m going to ignore you now

Rio: Okay, rude of you but understandable

Rio: I just asked you not to, really

Buster: Understandable because you’re assuming I got what I want and that means I’ll just dismiss you

Rio: Nah, that’s not what I’m saying

Rio: it’s fine, you’re fine, I’m fine

Buster: You’ve called me out on my bullshit for using the word you just used 3 times in a row

Rio: I’m trying not to be awkward, because we don’t need to, that’s all

Rio: but I’d get it if you were, how’s that for better wording?

Buster: You don’t have to try so hard to be or not be anything

Rio: Oh, great

Buster: You know what I mean

Rio: that in trying not to be weird, I’ve been massively weird, yep, thank you

Buster: Well, you are talking to my sister, of all people

Rio: You think that was my idea?

Rio: I was cornered

Buster: You’re allowed to tell her to fuck off

Buster: What else is Christmas for?

Rio: you could, sure

Rio: I can’t

Buster: Fine, I’ll do it for you

Buster: hold on

Rio: Not what I meant, no

Buster: Still, you’d be lying if you said you don’t want me to

Rio: In the fantasy where your sister isn’t also my cousin and someone I’m gonna have to see and talk to, as well as the rest of them

Buster: No, in our real lives where she’s a fucked up person

Rio: I’m not in the best place to judge her now

Buster: Don’t, it’s not even close to a similar situation

Rio: It’s not but it’s still not good

Buster: It’s not a crime, there’s no need to punish yourself as if you’ve committed one

Rio: I’m not, I can’t avoid her any more than I could before though, it’s unrelated but true

Buster: Yes you can

Rio: If I acted like you, people would notice

Rio: it might seem like everyone’s completely oblivious but

Buster: You care more about making a scene, when it suits you, than you do holding people accountable

Rio: When ‘holding people accountable’ achieves nothing, sure

Buster: Playing fake nice achieves nothing

Rio: I’m fake now

Buster: Yeah, sometimes

Rio: I don’t have time to not get along with people just because

Buster: It isn’t just because, it’s distancing yourself from someone for a valid reason

Rio: You have to live with her, for the time being, I see her occasionally, of course it’s different for you

Buster: Jesus, at least counter what I said with your own valid excuse

Rio: This isn’t about Nancy

Buster: Not exclusively

Rio: I’m not dumb, I know you’re talking about the Liam thing

Buster: It isn’t just about that either

Buster: it’s about you, putting yourself, and how you actually feel, last all the time

Rio: How can you even say that when I just did exactly what I wanted, despite how much of a problem it would be for everyone else if they ever found out

Buster: You did the opposite of what you wanted on your birthday, to keep the peace

Rio: It doesn’t matter now, he’s dumping me anyway

Buster: Of course it matters, it’s your whole mindset

Rio: You are too drunk to be trying to fix my life

Buster: Tell me to shut up like you mean it, at least

Rio: I dunno why you’re being so mean to me

Buster: I’m trying to help you

Rio: I don’t need help, but it’s always nice to know how shit you think I am

Buster: You don’t think you do because you don’t see it as a problem

Rio: I’m not sitting here telling you your whole personality is a problem

Buster: Mine is only a problem for other people, it doesn’t cause any for me

Rio: That’s really nice

Buster: I told you, I’m not, and it wouldn’t get either of us anywhere right now if I was

Rio: We aren’t going anywhere

Buster: You wishing I would stop doesn’t mean I’ve hit a wall

Rio: Shh, go drink some more

Buster: Have a drink with me instead of being passive aggressive as if I’m one of your least favourite relatives that have cornered you

Rio: Are you sure?

Buster: About how much you still like me? Very sure

Rio: You’re such an idiot

Buster: I know your mouth is hurting from having to stay so quiet

Rio: you got that one right, okay

Buster: if I was an idiot I wouldn’t have come up with a fun solution that’ll numb and clean it simultaneously

Rio: 🙄😏

Rio: that’s the excuse, huh

Buster: I don’t deal in excuses, I deal in opportunities and this one is perfect for getting to see you

Rio: and if anyone asks why I was biting the inside of my cheek…?

Buster: Why would they?

Rio: I mean, don’t ask if you don’t wanna know, pretty obvious

Rio: so I’ll have a drink with you but I don’t know about you looking at me

Buster: Are you daring me to make [her fave drink] with my eyes closed?

Rio: That would be pretty impressive

Buster: It’s too late though, I’ve already made it and it’s waiting for you here, like I am

Rio: so let me distract your sister quickly or she’ll be asking you to make her her own drink when she follows me

Buster: She can ask but she won’t get

Rio: just me

Buster: There’s different rules for you, our own rules

Rio: I like that

Buster: But it’s a shame they have limits or I’d have another solution for how sore your mouth is

Rio: It’s rude to tease me with what I can’t have

Buster: It’s not my fault if you aren’t using the mistletoe to your advantage

Rio: it’s a bit late to go ‘round the party and make that look like it’s not personal, you could’ve set out the ground rules earlier

Buster: You could be taller and then I wouldn’t have to be the one reaching up to steal it

Rio: Are you being serious

Buster: No, I don’t really want you to grow [however many inches lol]

Rio: 😅 Not the part I was referring to

Buster: Well, I seriously want to kiss you, I thought that was obvious

Rio: If anything was going to change your mind, it would’ve been what we just did, that’s what I thought

Buster: Did it change your mind?

Rio: not at all

Rio: and I would have to die if you felt the opposite

Buster: Please don’t, it would definitely ruin Christmas for me

Rio: And everyone else’s, not to big myself up or anything

Rio: I want to kiss you so badly

Buster: Everyone knows I only care about myself, babe

Rio: That’s not true

Buster: How else do you explain the fact that I got you something but decided against bringing it after you didn’t shower me with thanks for your birthday present?

Rio: I didn’t want to just send a message, it didn’t feel like enough

Rio: then everything blew up with [flop boyf]

Buster: Fuck him and your lack of communication, I’m gonna go home and get it

Rio: And leave me? I just convinced Nance she NEEDED to do karaoke

Buster: We’ll have our drink together first

Rio: [Come join him at this bar like oh hey, as if there’s anything casual about how !! you are to be this close to him again]

Buster: [passing her this drink that was not at all casually waiting for her with such a lingering touch because if Nancy is doing karaoke there’s no way everyone isn’t watching how hilarious that is]

Rio: [I dread to think like oh honey you humiliating yourself but you pop off hun because we’re too busy being distracted and having a moment, cheers with eye contact as you sip always]

Buster: [normally he’d love nothing more than to witness Nancy’s humiliation but that has not even registered to him as happening and he could not care less, soz our only priority is LOOKING at her] 

Rio: [‘you know how much I love my birthday present, don’t you?’ putting a hand on his shoulder ‘cos that could be casual enough but it is not right now]

Buster: [‘As much as you’ll love your christmas present’ cocky but true, whatever you’ve bought her, I’m trying to think of something that could be a reminder of y’all’s date but like I don’t wanna just hand her a bottle of wine]

Rio: [‘you don’t have to go get it’ but not in a I DON’T WANT IT way just like, I don’t need it if you don’t wanna go, btw, leaning ourself against your side, so casual, sipping, not LOOKING at you every chance we get]

Buster: [‘of course I do, I should’ve given it to you as soon as we got here’ because kicking himself that he didn’t bring it, we know why you didn’t but it’s bought and wrapped and everything]

Rio: [‘maybe not that soon’ like we had to sit through the meal and socialising with other people, because we know your gifting slaps and we’ll be in no mood for any of that nonsense after ‘give it to me in private, somehow’ looking around like I know there’s people everywhere but]

Buster: [leaning against her like a lil nudge because we know exactly what you mean but he’s also impatient af ‘You should come with me, you can open it there’ that’s how you know he’s drunk just suggesting a casual trip the baze gaff as if she has any business going with him when he says to them he’s going back for a sec for something he forgot/needs]

Rio: [when everything in you wants to grab his hand and run basically but you also know what would happen and are thinking over every possible thing it could mean for you both, biting the side of your mouth unthinkingly then being like ow lol ‘you wouldn’t want to come back’ after a while because true, neither would we]

Buster: [when he just knows, drunk or not, that she’s biting her mouth even before the ow reaction so doing the softest don’t gesture in the form of how he’s touching her wrist before he grabs some ice off the bar and puts it in her mouth the way he did earlier except not because it’s so lovingly, and all this is the lull of time before she speaks again ‘we don’t have to’ you very much do have to come back though, soz hun]

Rio: [as if you weren’t thinking about kissing him before, now it is ALL you can think about as you’re letting him take care of you with the biggest hearteyes ‘you only leave early when you have somewhere else to be’ because neither of you is a, I now wish to snuggle at home with a hot chocolate and a TV special type, so yeah, it’s not being bought]

Buster: [‘I’ll lie’ sir you cannot Nancy will know even if nobody else does that you don’t actually have plans]

Rio: [‘What if your parents or sisters come back?’]

Buster: [‘Ava wants to be here and my parents have to lie that they do too for slightly longer’ not mentioning Nancy because she can clearly be heard doing this karaoke and we know the messy flop isn’t going home early ever]

Rio: [the cinematic vibe of her just wailing in the background is tres amusing, thus we have to do a little giggle because wow, just looking at him like can we, I don’t think we can but maybe ‘you’re hard to say no to, you know’]

Buster: [it’s giving that gal singing when her little brother is absolutely losing it and I’m so amused, like, they couldn’t be more in love here, he’s giving hearteyes and a half at how adorable her giggle is while that performance is going on ‘give in to me then’ didn’t have to say that in such an intense way either did you sir]

Rio: [😳 ‘I want to’ the tone underlying how much of an understatement those three words feels to us ‘I want what you want’]

Buster: [I’m sorry that I simply refuse to let this happen, lads, she’s gonna have to have some kind of sibling crisis or something that starts occurring right that very sec so they don’t run, lord knows there’s enough of you and it makes his point of her putting everyone else first even more valid]

Rio: [it’s easily done and plausible, you can be snatched away by anyone literally right now, we don’t need to specify or have it be any sort of actual drama, just family nonsense]

Buster: [the point is, it’s a dose of reality before she gets chance to get carried away and plot device to send him on his own and separate y’all even though he’ll be lowkey fuming and more in the mood to throw it at her now lol, sulk on your way there and back hun, you have time]

Rio: [hence I better not even message you when this inevitably gets resolved before you’re back because we know what you’re going to think to that happening lol]

Buster: [mhmm we all know it’s not that deep and you should’ve just said fuck it and gone but it just isn’t who you are, at least him needing to go back to the baze gaff is more believable now he’s lowkey angry af because it’s like oh you really are annoyed you don’t have such and such and absolutely should go and get it yeah you big grump]

Rio: [everyone like you go calm down sir and we’re just stuck here now like thanks guys, definitely knocking back more drinks ourself]

Buster: [she’s gonna have time to get drunker herself and level the playing field here because he isn’t rushing back the way he would’ve when he first said about going to grab it, he’s probably gonna take twice as long as he should and I’m definitely gonna say that he has a massive row with his flop twin when he does return because no he has not calmed down enough, though he did try, and I’m sure you’ll say something bitchy or whatever gal if you’re outside smoking again but because you’re also a diva you’ll carry it on when he tries to walk away and just go inside]

Rio: [big yikes, when you know this mood is your fault but also if you intervene, it’d have to be you taking Nance away to bitch and that’s also going to piss him off so you’re just watching like I hope an adult tells you to shh Nance because I’m not able to put myself in the middle of this one]

Buster: [I’m so sorry baze you don’t need your children going at it to the level they are when you already don’t wanna be here, at least they can threaten Nancy with being taken home like a child if she doesn’t stop acting like one because how nasty this would and could be getting is a BIG yikes, but I do like to think that Ava could take him aside and calm him down since Rio cannot]

Rio: [this is true, save the day girl, baze tell that bitch off, casual family domestic, everyone else look away and pretend you do not see]

Buster: [Poor Ava should not have to but the reality is baze are busy and nobody else is gonna get through to him, so soz gal, thank GOD that preggo Ro would have already left because the last thing anyone needs is her getting involved/sitting there holier than thou like a judgy bitch]

Rio: [you wouldn’t handle it if they turned it on you hun so pipe down]

Buster: [gonna have to say whatever his gift for Rio is, it’s small enough to fit in his pocket because he can’t be doing all this whilst swinging a gift bag around because that is TOO MUCH visually for me to handle and also everyone would be like UM who is that for]

Rio: [imagine, no, we can’t be having that, Nancy would have literally snatched it, it’s too much for now hun]

Buster: [I’m cackling at the thought, lord knows when or how he’s gonna give it to her though because this is AWKS]

Rio: [when Ava has left you we can take that as our cue that you’re at least calmed from the Nancy of it all and come over with a drink as a peace offering]

Buster: [taking it and downing it so he can immediately walk away from her to make the point to her that he’s still annoyed at her specifically as if that was not obvious, without actually making it really obvious to everybody else]

Rio: [sit down wherever he was sat like well, that went well, didn’t it]

Buster: What have you got to say that isn’t a bullshit peace offering?

Rio: Why does it have to be bullshit?

Buster: Because you’re not sorry and you don’t want what I want

Rio: because you get to decide all that for me

Buster: It was your decision and you’d make exactly the same one again, you always fucking do

Rio: If I didn’t, then [whichever sib/sibs came over and ruined this] would’ve seen us go together, could’ve followed, any number of fucking things you don’t want to happen either

Buster: If you didn’t they would’ve had to solve their own problem and god forbid they do anything without involving you

Rio: If Ava needed anything, you’d do it without hesitating

Rio: it happens more because I have more brothers and sisters, I can’t help that

Buster: I’d die for Ava, the difference is she doesn’t need me to because she’s allowed to be capable and can sort her own shit unless it literally was life or death

Rio: Don’t talk about my siblings like you know anything about them

Buster: I know you

Rio: I missed the part where I fucking asked them to come over and distract me

Buster: I didn’t realise you’d also missed the glaringly obvious established pattern

Rio: You know what, fuck this

Rio: you blame me for everything

Buster: Christ, take some responsibility, you shoulder enough of theirs

Rio: Maybe you’d get it if your sister had a baby when she was 16

Buster: My sister wouldn’t, so I guess I’ll never get it

Rio: [walk away from wherever you are to the bathroom for your storm off]

Buster: [I know you’re in a mood but OUCH that was uncalled for and v rude actually, sir]

Rio: [not in the mood for our fam to be slut-shamed, thanking you lol]

Buster: [that went well, oh lads]

Rio: [when you do just wanna piss off home now but instead you have to come out and go sit with your fam to make a point]

Buster: [when you knew you’d gone too far and regretted saying it like the second you said it but you don’t wanna just come at her with a drink peace offering after calling hers bullshit so you’re just looking over at her like !]

Rio: [obviously we notice because even though we’re doing our best living my best life with my family act, we’re also sneaking peeks at you because duh]

Buster: [Eventually coming over when he can stand it no longer and being like ‘Can I talk to you for a minute?’ because he do know her and she’s not gonna make a big scene in front of the fam, gotta chance it]

Rio: [thank the lord, not unhinged like your sister because imagine if we just started brawling you here and now; but no, get up and go like okay]

Buster: [find some privacy please, nobody needs to be overhearing this convo, the awks silence as you have to walk to wherever you’re going RIP]

Rio: [lmao the awkwardness just die]

Buster: [when you get there ‘I shouldn’t have said that’ because no you shouldn’t]

Rio: [‘say what you like’ with folded arms because we’re not impressed ‘it’s what you meant’]

Buster: [‘It’s her life, she can live it how she likes, I didn’t mean to bring her into it, none of this is about her, not really’]

Rio: [‘well, all my family are beneath you in various ways but I know I’m the biggest problem, you mentioned it’]

Buster: [‘No they’re not, they were just in my way’ blurting out that truth because not that much of a snob actually, underneath it all]

Rio: [looking at him to see if he’s being truthful and not just trying to cover himself, even though he’s not really that bitch and you know it, so just nodding like alright ‘they exist, the whole family does’ shrugging like it’s in any way casual ‘there’s nothing either of us can do about that’] 

Buster: [‘I know’ lowkey so frustrated and sad that there’s nothing they can do to make this alright with the fam and be a normal couple because he hates being that bitch, he’s always had options before]

Rio: [do a sigh because it is both of those things ‘It’ll never be different, there’s no point pretending’]

Buster: [‘So what is there a point to?’ like okay if that’s the case what do we do, like should I just walk away now or what]

Rio: [a lowkey look of disbelief ‘why do I have to work it out?’ because we’re both headfucked here, boy]

Buster: [‘Because it’s always me’ blurted out in the manner of Effy’s why don’t I get to be upset moment but slightly less dramatically, because we’re having a full identity crisis here as he’s always the bitch who knows what to do and suddenly he isn’t and it’s really !!! ‘and I can’t-’ we’re having so many emotions today]

Rio: [immediately softening because we don’t like being mad and especially not at you ‘hey, it’s okay’ squeezing his hand like listen to and believe me there ‘no one is ever going to find out about what happened, there’s no pressure to work it out from anyone but us, there’s no time limit, like’]

Buster: [‘I’m sorry’ when does he ever say that but likewise when does he ever almost have a breakdown like he just did a sec ago so]

Rio: [rubbing his arm gently like I know ‘me too’ because we are in terms of it being a headfuck of a situation but we also know not everything you said about us is untrue we just didn’t want to hear it right now ‘look, if it isn’t worth it, then don’t but-’ making eye contact because obviously we want to and we aren’t going to say otherwise or you’d never go there lads ‘all we’d have to do is some planning before seeing each other, it’d be so much easier’]

Buster: [giving that eye contact back in a way that means YOU’RE WORTH IT without actually saying it because you cannot rn or you’ll end up ruining all our excellent cockblocking and I won’t allow that mr + handing her over this beautifully wrapped gift because whatever it is will defs prove how true that is because of the date reminder and how feelsy it is]

Rio: [I vibe that you pull him somewhere even more private just to be doubly sure to open this gift and not be interrupted by anyone, because we are going to have EMOTIONS and y’all don’t need to see and we need the time and space to fully appreciate, tah, gonna have to hug you because what else and how else can we convey how !! we are ‘thank you’]

Buster: [this hug being everything though because you both have EMOTIONS and nowhere else to put them]

Rio: [we are SQUEEZING you and burying our head into your chest]

Buster: [really giving this his ALL for someone who isn’t a hugger and god knows when he last did hug somebody, probably one of baze when he was a little child, proud of you, hun]

Rio: [well done boy, we love to see it, literally, looking up at you]

Buster: [resting his chin on the top of her head adorably while she does that because simply must]

Rio: [doing a happy sigh instead of a sad and frustrated one, although yeah we’re still frustrated but in a different way than a sec ago]

Buster: [let her go before there’s a kiss which isn’t allowed lol, instead fix her hair that you just messed up as a shameless excuse to just play with it and be soft]

Rio: [close your eyes and enjoy that sensation ‘I should’ve gone with you’ quietly, after a while of just chilling]

Buster: [‘I forgive you for not going if you forgive me for being a cunt when you didn’t’ because so many shoulda woulda couldas already and there’s gonna be so many more at different points cos this is a headfuck]

Rio: [just nod because of course we do ‘but I might not forgive myself for it’ like I’m mad, fyi]

Buster: [‘if you don’t, I’ll have to make you’ oh the daddy energy is back okay then]

Rio: [‘yeah?’ in the most please tell me more tone ever]

Buster: [‘I’ll have to guarantee all your regrets are distant memories and the only vivid ones from today are [and obviously recounting all your extra antics, not just during that film but before too which obvs I don’t need to because we can re-read it if we need to remember]’]

Rio: [the way this has your breathing noticeably getting faster and shallow ‘it’s been a really good christmas’ after having to swallow dramatically to calm down enough to speak]

Buster: [touching her throat after she swallows, as dramatically, there’s no need ever ‘the best so far’ because always gonna top it and y’all can enjoy thinking about what next year could be like and all the ones after, why not]

Rio: [melting into your touch like he can keep his hand there forever ‘it’s nice being friends again, so we can stick together’ because need to have no excuse to be seen with you all day]

Buster: [‘I’ve never had a friend like you’ because true in every sense, saucy and actual]

Rio: [‘I’ll be your best friend, if you want’ likewise all the ways we could mean that]

Buster: [‘I do want us to be that for each other’ so sincerely because it’s lonely at the top sis]

Rio: [smile so big because you care about him and he cares about you and it’s everything to get that confirmation]

Buster: [the actual intake of breath because her smile is so beautiful and he can’t deal before he’s then trying to get a not at all subtle look at the bitten inside of her mouth because he’s a drunken nerd and he cares that much bye]

Rio: [laughing and playfully pushing his face away like what are you doing ‘so weird’]

Buster: [‘I’m not, I’m being friendly’ the way that’s said though and then a he's putting his finger in her mouth and really softly feel where she’s bitten the inside of her cheek to shit, obvs checking the other side too and the inside her lip because gotta be v slow and indecent and thorough about this]

Rio: [the moans you can’t hold back literally with how you are in this moment ‘it hurts’ however distorted that is by his literal fingers in your mouth because we must]

Buster: [dying about it because you’ve been able to make so little noise ever, be it on your date or on this day so it’s really new and !! and of course feels like she’s being louder than she is and like y’all are closer to being caught than you are which we know you’re both into, so the way he not at all casually pushes her against a wall or whatever surface wherever they are rn like gotta hide even more is a response to all those things as much as it’s also just him being overwhelmed]

Rio: [‘OW’ ing like that also hurt way more than it did so you don’t make more indecent sounds about it but the way we’re LOOKING at you, you’re going to know how we’re actually feeling]

Buster: [the LOOK he’s giving making it known that he’s not at all sorry despite how soft he’s being holding her atm as if to make up for lowkey slamming her into something]

Rio: [‘you’re so determined to show how nice you aren’t’ standing on your tiptoes so you can ‘fix’ his hair aka run your hands through it]

Buster: [‘I want you to know so badly’ because when she said she wanted to kiss him so badly, the exact same energy, picking her up slightly so she can reach easier the way he helped her at the bar before]

Rio: [‘I want what you want’ saying each word deliberately because we do and you said we didn’t when you were pissed off so hear it, tugging his hair just slightly because we’re serious ‘You’re so-’]

Buster: [‘I shouldn’t have said that either’ likewise saying each word as deliberately because he’s as serious, at the same time as using the same fingers he put in her mouth in the same manner but running them along her flaps, for lack of a better word lol, as if we gotta know how wet her underwear is from the outside never mind the inside and that isn’t already a well known fact by this point] 

Rio: [When this contact is the realest and furthest you’ve gone so far because there’s absolutely no flimsy excuse for it, should you be caught, and this has you stunned into silence, even if you cannot help moving towards his touch]

Buster: [you’re gonna wish that you were stunned into silence sir because that same thought would have the opposite effect on him cos he’s extra, we know, and it’s your turn to make a SOUND that is too loud for where you are and soz but this isn’t the feral free for all of st paddy’s so you’ve simply gotta either hear somebody go past/talking or something and therefore be like !! about if they heard you, because this cannot be a hookup moment and it will if y’all don’t get scared straight] 

Rio: [it’d be a total amateur move to jump away from him like you’re on fire, so you just about manage that but as close as we just pushed ourself against you is how far we’re getting away, trying your best to look casual and not like you’re on the highest alert for two reasons now]

Buster: [both of you not breathing just here like 👀 but he’s always the boy with a plan who can get himself under control so ‘I did say a minute’ because he did to your fam you were sat with like maybe you should go because it has been longer than that and you can’t keep pushing your luck like this, lads, not tonight at least] 

Rio: [nod, in a daze at first but as you’re pulling your clothes back into place, nod more confidently like yeah, you’re right ‘why did you wanna talk to me?’ like what’s the story because it’s not what it actually was]

Buster: [the cogs in his head visibly turning like oh yes we need a cover story because truly you do, obvs it’s easiest to blame Nancy because everyone saw that fight with her and things have been rocky between y’all since your bday and she do be a huge bitch so it’s not inconceivable that you act like something she said/did was Rio related because she’s a mess she won’t remember and nobody would be on her side if she said she didn’t, just thinking all these things out loud, putting together the pieces in a conspiratorial whisper vibe] 

Rio: [that all tracks ‘I can make up the rest’ putting your present in your bag carefully ‘make you look bad but not quite as bad as her, like’ with a lil smirk like sounds about right, yeah?]

Buster: [his own confident nod like yes exactly because he knows she knows what she’s doing and he can trust her obvs or none of this would be happening]

Rio: [wave at him as you get out of this hiding place like okay then ‘see you later?’]

Buster: [when you really wanna pull her back in and just stay here and even start to do that before you can stop yourself + all the moves to lean in to kiss her but then you remember that you absolutely cannot start down that road again so you’re like ‘yeah, see you later’ whilst your lips are close enough to brush against hers, nbd but at least it feels like a to be continued/promise that way so that’s nice]

Rio: [‘why-’ when you likewise can’t stop yourself from starting to ask a question you already know the answer to, not that you mind the continued sensation of brushing your lips against each others, tortuous though it is]

Buster: [‘You know why’ didn’t need to say that remotely but we’re prolonging that sensation and this moment shamelessly]

Rio: [‘I forget’ because that’s the truest thing you could possibly say]

Buster: [‘It’s really fucking easy to’ because same]

Rio: [‘If we got caught now, we’d be the only ones who knew we didn’t kiss’ because you basically are]

Buster: [‘If we do, we won’t stop at a kiss’ too true ‘and we’ll still get caught before we want it to be over’ again true, you have no chill and mid hook up would be so frustrating you’d actually die]

Rio: [when you know so you don’t need to say anything ‘you didn’t let me go’ as if you made big attempts to leave]

Buster: [‘I tried’ because it would really feel like he made such a big effort to because that’s how hard it is rn and how much they don’t wanna leave each other]

Rio: [‘Third times meant to be a charm, so-’ walking away like you can bring me back this time and you better lol]

Buster: [Doing it with such a !!! move, if she thought she was getting thrown around before it’s nothing compared to this moment here ‘It should’ve been me making you cum’ pinning her hands above her head as he says this like he’s so offended at them for doing it during the film instead and it goes without saying that he’s also dry humping her to within an inch of her life in the way they could not then because they were barely able to move and this time he’s doing the absolute most]

Rio: [‘It was’ blurted out as you’re shifting all your weight onto him, pulling him closer by his belt ‘it’s been you for ages now’]

Buster: [‘on your birthday’ not a question because we know it, she wore an outfit for you despite the fact you weren’t there so]

Rio: [‘how could I think about anyone else?’ soz not soz flop boyfriend but we know he won and it wasn’t even a close competition]

Buster: [sucks to suck flop and he’s SO into it as evidenced by his v enthusiastic responses rn, telling her about his absolutely savage behaviour when she left to go to the airport and he was left to his own devices because whatever you did to deal with how turned on you were, we know it was beyond extra]

Rio: [we’re moving ferally fast because 1. We don’t have time to waste and 2. This is how hearing this makes us feel ‘did it feel as good as this?’]

Buster: [‘nothing feels as good as this’ really emphasised by how difficult it would be to get that sentence out and how it sounds when he does]

Rio: [having to bite his top because you can’t bite him yet but you also genuinely hurt your mouth before and you also want him to know how hard holding back is for you too ‘no one has done it like you’ almost mad at how true that is]

Buster: [idk how her dress isn’t getting ripped in response to all of that, sheer luck and luck only because love everything she’s doing and saying so much ‘no one does anything like you do’ the truest thing, everything she does however mundane or not is next level compared to anyone else]

Rio: [‘you don’t even know yet’ because we have done nothing in the grand scheme of things even though it feels like everything ‘I wanna be in your head as much as you’re in mine’ pressing our forehead against his, continuing to grind against you as we use the movement for leverage]

Buster: [‘You’ve been in there for years, you never leave my thoughts’ because aware that she is gonna have to go fr in person in a sec as much as we don’t wanna be thinking about it]

Rio: [hiding your face in his neck, doing frustrated little whines because yes, we do not want to leave, thanks family and universe ‘it’s so stupid’]

Buster: [doing everything he possibly can rn so they don’t have to think about it and frustrated isn’t how she feels, he’s a man on a mission, including another hot shh of course but in a there, there, I’m gonna make it okay and you feel better way not like shut it please]

Rio: [grip onto the back of his shirt like your life depends on it because you’re dying ‘I can say your name, not just think it’ and proceeding to do so, in his ear so you aren’t being as loud as it would seem to y’all in this moment]

Buster: [biting his lip so hard but the moan escapes nevertheless because that’s how into it he is and always will be, excuse us everyone]

Rio: [looking at him the most 🥺 ‘you’re the most attractive boy I have ever known’]

Buster: [saying her name back with all the feeling in the world because 🥺 likewise always kills him]

Rio: [‘we should’ve done this last year, and the year before…’ just going on and on, matching the time of your thrusts, forever and always is the vibe]

How are you doing in lead up to Thursday? Are you theorizing? Disassociating? Consuming rabid amounts of fic? I feel like I saw somewhere (?) that you’re currently on holidays, hope it’s 10/10 🤗

disassociation ftw!!!!!!! my go-to coping mechanism tbh!!!!!!!!!

i was on vacation (it was 10/10, ty 💖) and between that, coming back/settling back in, and now this life thing that's consuming my attention, i have not actually really had a chance to process that thursday is both tomorrow the end and i'm sure it'll be super fun when that hits me like a sack of bricks to the face whenever that happens, hahahaha.

how're you doing? what's your coping mechanism of choice?

HIStory’s ranked (no one asked, but here i go)

so i was sittin here, talkin to myself about the HIStory series’ and was like ‘hey, i should rank them’ (which i’ve seen a few other people do, but mines a lot more rambling than there’s because i can’t shut up lol) 

so here’s my views lol (ordered from worst to best, imo):

6) My Hero (HIStory1) -

probably universally acknowledged as the worst episode, and i’d be inclined to agree with the masses on this lol... not only is the tone and humour of this series so weird and disjointed, but the entire story line literally makes no sense lol?? it’s unclear who the audience should be rooting for (especially as it goes out of it’s way to paint our protagonist as really unlikable lol, not to mention the love interest is the dullest character ever conceived like ???), as well as this the ending feels completely unrelated and bizarre... 

i think this concept /could/ have worked if the guy the woman was inhabiting (which sounds weird without context, but like she’s dead lol) was somehow also inside his head? or if she got to see his memories or whatever & tries to adjust her personality to match the guy’s, causing love interest!dude to fall in love with the guy... (like i could go into more detail, i basically hav an entire au written in my head lol, but yh...)... that way, her letting go of him in the end would feel so much more well set up? especially if she was generally more understanding and likeable.. 

i think overall this series just fails in telling a decent story lol... & the cringe is even beyond what i can handle lol

5) Obsessed (HIStory1) -

people might be surprised to see this one so low down, especially since i know a lot of people really love this series (& if u do, no hate to u btw, ur allowed to like whatever u want idc), but i realllllly don’t like this series... like at all ...

the plot is weird anyway, which isnt inherently a bad thing, but then u add on the really bad couple and it’s just...... bad lol... like everything about their relationship is built on lies and deceit, and even more so than that it’s built on a lack of mutual respect and fundamental trust for each other! tall guy (i don’t know names soz) feigns memory loss in order to get closer to short guy (btw, the scenes with them being domestic were really sweet, & i firmly believe this could have been an alright series for the actors if the story line wasn’t so bad), short guy’s whole existence in that universe was a lie lol (like i know there’s no easy way to tell someone ‘lol well i’m technically from the future’ but still), then there’s the whole resolution at the end & it’s just so ??? frustrating lol!

nothing bugs me more than seeing conflict in relationships (on screen or irl) that could be solved simply by TALKING TO EACH OTHER GODDAMNIT & isnt lol... my other issue with this series is the fact tall guy 100% forced himself upon short guy in the tent & like we’re just supposed to accept it cos ?? he’s saying no and pushing away but actually he wants it because he loves tall guy ?? like fuck no i’m not accepting that lol! 

basically, bad & bizarre story & characters, & gross tropes just makes this hard for me to watch and enjoy lol... i think, like in my hero, this could’ve done with being a different story altogether lol... (maybe tall guy actually did lose his memory & he falls for short guy all on his own with no predatory intentions?? idk something like that)

4) Right or Wrong (HIStory2)

this one & my number 3 are very much tied tbh, but this one is just slightly lower just because i’m not as big into the couple as i know a lot of people are... & it’s not necessarily the age gap, cos i dont actually mind age gaps in pairings (just as long as the younger one isnt a minor, obv... and also i think any gap that’s 30+ years is a bit weird lol..).. i think my big problem with this is i dont really see why younger guy (again, i have no idea of any of these characters’ names lol) would fall for the older guy? like the older guy is obvs going thru some issues, and hasnt been taking care of himself or his kid properly because of them, but like we dont rly see a lot of why he’s a great guy? like we get the sense young guy is attracted to him, but like love is more than just thinkin they’re hot lol... idk lol this might just be me tbh i just couldnt see why he’d be interested lol

i did like the whole family side though, and showing how a man who was previously with a woman can still end up with a guy (bisexualityyyyy (or some variation of that thereupon)) is something you dont always see in media, so i thought that was pretty cool! (even if the ex-wife thing was kinda lame lol...) 

i think overall i see what this series was going for, and that it actually did an alright job in some parts... the biggest problem is that it’s kinda just forgettable lol... maybe that’s why people like obsessed so much lol? maybe it was a train wreck but ohh boy at least u wont forget it in a hurry lol!

3) Stay Away From Me (HIStory1) -

i’m a bit torn about this one, cos there are parts of it i actually really like (them going from rivals/enemies to being good friends to being more), and other parts i really didnt (the stereotypical squealing yaoi fangirl friend)... & tbh, i kinda wish this had just been a show about the budding friendship between the 2 guys... it almost feels too forced to me that they’re made to ‘fall in love’ when i actually think them both becoming less selfish and learning to respect each other as step brothers & friends is actually already a really great story (& i know that it doesnt fit with the whole ‘HIStory’ thing, but stories of platonic brotherhood/’bromance’ are just as important as gay representation... isnt a /substitute/ for representation, don’t get me wrong, but it’s always so beautiful to see decently portrayed non-toxic friendships between guys... ok this is a rant for another day tho shhh)

i think maybe why i like this one more than the other HIStory1′s is because kinda nothing happens lol... it’s not overly complex with weird unexplained magic things happening, it’s just a simple story lol... is it still tropey as hell? of course lol! but i think the ‘realism’ of the world really helps, and i def think this was incorporated more into HIStory 2, which i’m really glad about...

overall, this is a relatively harmless series & is actually quite sweet at times... the kiss is awkward as fuck tho (there, i said it lol...)... it suffers the same forgetability as right or wrong tho... 

2) Crossing the Line (/Boundary Crossing) (HIStory2) -

ok, so here’s a series i 100% love & totally agree with the hype around lol! i hav no interest in volleyball (or any sports tbh), but the way this show handles the friendships and dynamics between the characters is really well done, especially for a series that’s only 8 episodes long! i also really love that none of the characters really fall into any stereotypes (which is a great improvement from HIStory1 i can tell u lol), and are given the space to actually have some growth & nuance at times?! 

(nuance? in MY HIStory series?? it’s more likely than you think!)

the main couple have really amazing chemistry, and the way they get together doesnt feel too out of place or that it’s going to fast, it just sorta flows really nicely... even the side couple are pretty well done (though i wasnt that big into them on my first watch, just cos the whole overbearing older brother thing was kinda annoying... i liked them more as the series went on tho...)

i kinda dont have any major complaints? which is bizarre cos i always hav complaints about things lol... maybe my complaint would be that they all look way too old and attractive to be whatever teenage age they’re supposed to be lol... (but tbh that doesnt take anything away from the story so i’ll forgive them lol...)... i think maybe i wouldnt consider it my favourite because the story line didnt grab me like the number 1... but i really cant fault it in terms of what it delivers lol, legit such a well put together series!

1) Trapped (HIStory3) -

lol i think anyone who’s been following me for the past few months aren’t in the slightest bit surprised this is my number one... i just love it too much lol!

from the incredibly well written and well acted characters, to the interesting and engaging (even if a bit ridiculous) plot, to the beautifully told romance , it really has it all doesn’t it!!! & i think even if this wasnt an enemies to lovers thing (aka one of the most godtier of all fanfic tropes), there’s so many things going for this series that make it worth watching! i have a few complains about editing choices and a few bad trope plot points which were just unnecessary (plus the fact we missed out on a lot of background info on some major characters lol...), but like despite everything this series rly struck a chord with me deep down in my soul lol

i could go waaay more into detail (and maybe i will one day lol... tho not rn, i’m v tired), but the gist of the matter is: i really love trapped lol

(conclusion)

Even though i’ve complained quite a bit here, i am so grateful for the HIStory series’ for bringing really interesting, and a little mad, stories with gay characters and story lines, with a big emphasis on happy endings! there are so many lgbt stories/characters in things that end up dying or just have bad endings, which just sends this horrible message that lgbt people aren’t worthy of having happy endings, which is completely untrue! 

So i look forward to future HIStory’s, even if some of them are gonna be bad (& maybe none will live up to the trapped!shaped bullet firmly lodged in my heart lol)

fin~

here are things about me that nobody wanted to know, but i wanted to answer

1. What is your name? ELLEN 2. How old are you? 20 3. Are you sure? ??? /?? ? ? ? ?? 4. What is your earliest memory? something that is pink 5. What is your favorite alcoholic drink? i don’t drink, gurl!!!!!!!!!!!!!

6. What is your favorite vegetable? the humble potato 7. Do you remember your first day at school? ya 8. What is the worst exam result you remember ever getting? 50% for both year 12 maths methods exams lolol 9. How tall are you? 5'5  10. Can you swim? splish splash! yep! 11. Who is your favorite movie actress? i really don’t care 12. Who is your favorite movie actor? ibid.  13. Who is your favorite comedian? bo burnham ? idk

14. Who is your favorite politician? hmm i disagree a lot with this q. i agree with a lot of politicians and i think some are cool and interesting people, but having a “favourite politician” would be putting them on a pedestal?? and like when u do that it makes it harder to disagree with them when they have a BAD opinion on some issues. i don’t think that’s good. i think we need to always be critical of politicians no matter how groovy some seem. 

15. Who is your favorite historical figure (been dead for at least 100 years)? Louis XVI ! :O :O Tsar Nicholas II (even tho he’s only been dead for 99 years), Charlotte Corday!, Woodrow Wilson (BTW by “favourite” i’ve interpreted that as mOST inTeresting, i don’t necessarily think these historical figures were good people loL especially wilson ahhhh i just think his contribution in beginning wwii was super interesting, especially how wilsonian principles like self-determination influenced different nations, i think he wasnt a super great dude tho lol) hmmm, some more probs but i cannot recall at this time. 

16. Who is your favorite super-heroine?jessica jones ?? idk & idc 17. Who is your favorite super-hero? idc at all lol 18. Can you name a female scientist other than Madame Curie? yes lol omg ?????? jane goodall, marie pasteur, rosalind franklin ?? (even tho marie curie is my fav tho <3 ) i feel like if people don’t know about female scientists they NEED to do independent research bc they really don’t teach much at school !!!!!!! and the contributions of women throughout history are so important obvs. 19. Who is your favorite mythological god or goddess? ooooooo tricky tricky !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! athena is cool but idk if fave ??? i just like mythology itself and not specific gods in particular reallyyyyy

i deleted questions 20- 30 bc they were so weird lol 

31. What is the worst movie you have ever seen? omg last night i watched spy kids 4 , and it’s so bad that it’s past the point of being so bad that it’s funny (such as the room and birdemic, u feel?) this was just bad bad.  32. What is the worst TV show you have ever seen? i do not watch tv shows that are bad lolol 33. What is the worst book you have ever read? idk New moon mayB 34. What is the worst song you have ever heard? idc 35. What is the worst sport you know of? what do u mean by worst tho lol idk i dont have interest in many sports so idc enough for this q 36. Who is the worst movie "star" ever? i really don’t care about celebrity culture 37. Who is the worst comedian ever? idk, u feel ? it’s like... i have never witnessed ever comedian EveR so idk who is the worst, i feel like i would need to do extensive research to answer this.  38. Who is the worst author ever? there are plenty of bAD authors. i feel like i wanna say zoella lol. but ultimately, see above Q.  39. Who is the worst musical act ever? IDC 40. Who is the worst sports "star" you have ever seen? i dont understand so GOodbYE 41. If you could go back in time to witness an historical event in person, what event would you want to see? signing of treaty of versailles ??!?!?! i would say russian rev but that could be dANGERous ://////// 42. If you could go anywhere in the world right now, where would you go? my bed, goodnight! 43. If you could meet anyone in the world, who would you meet? idc bc i feel like i could say a few different bands but ultimately, they don’t know who i am and they don’t care. meeting them would make me feel like OMG for a few mins, and then that would be it. i would think it was fun, they would forget me after 1 day and again, this weird kind of idolisation... i don’t think it’s healthy. people are just people. sO if i could meet anyone in the world, i would want to meet someone who is nice and who would ultimately become a nice and close friend for me! 44. If you could become famous for one thing, what would that thing be? bEING IN A BAND PLz 45. If you could buy anything regardless of cost, what would you buy? like how with genies you use ur last wish for infinite wishes, so like i would buy infinite money and i would get trapped in some kind of capitalist money loop where i am spending infinite money to buy infinite money. i think that would be cool  46. If you could change any one thing about your country, what would it be? ONE thing ?????? i live in australia, i would remove politicians like pauline hanson, dutton, joyce, morrison, abbott, frydenberg lol they would all just disappear from the public eye forEvER. OR even better i would LET REFUGEES SETTLE HERE , if u dont know , australia is literally THE WORST pls read up and learn about how inhumanely refugees who try to come to australia are treated. it’s awful http://www.abc.net.au/news/2017-06-14/manus-island-why-are-asylum-seekers-suing-the-commonwealth/8610482

47. If you could change any one thing about international politics, what would it be? really. REALLY. I feel like this is so obvious that im not even going to say anything. thanks ok 48. If you could meet any famous person who is dead, who would it be? idc  49. If you could become dictator of the world, would you? a benevolent dictator sURE but UMMMMMM as much as i think i am cool and right about everything, i would for sure become corrupt, so no thanks.  50. If you could eat an entire cow at one sitting, would you? no thanks! 51. Have you ever illegally downloaded music/TV shows/movies from the net? I DON’T EVEN KNOW WHAT LIMEWIRE IS I SWEAR 52. Have you ever used illegal narcotics? no 53. Have you ever gotten any points on your driving license? i’ve only done 8 houRS on my L plates lol so NO 54. Have you ever stolen anything from a shop? nop 55. Have you ever bought alcohol or cigarettes while underage? nop 56. Have you ever bought alcohol or cigarettes for another person who was underage? nop

57. Have you ever tried to cheat the taxman/social security/other government agency? i don’t have any money lol idek how to pay taxes hehe

58. Have you ever ridden on a train or bus without paying? perhaps 59. Have you ever been arrested? nooono 60. Have you ever been charged with a crime ... ? nononoo 61. What's the furthest you've ever been from home? euROPE but idk which country in europe that i visited would be geographically furthest from australia... UK probs?? 62. Where have you visited that you would like to go back to? EVERYwhere in europeeee 63. Where would you like to visit that you haven't yet? stonehenge!  64. Where is your favorite place in the world? my bed, goodnight! 65. Where have you visited that you hope never to go to again? greece, i went in summer summer and air was hard to breathe and hot idk museums were cool but not again soz greece xoxo 66. Where would you definitely never go to? idk a bunch of places lol 67. Where is your least favorite place in the world? how would i know! hMM! 68. What is your favorite way to travel  ? my own two feet i really don’t like any other kinds of transport bc i am scared of trusting other people to transport me 69. What is your least favorite way to travel? boat maybe lollol 70. deleted bc idgi 71. What was the last movie you saw? spy kids 4 !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!L O L 72. Was it any good? i answered this above ahhhehhhaehehaeo 73. What was the last book you read? a storm of swords 74. Was it any good? ya i guess 75. What was the last song you listened to? HUMDRUM BLUES BY THE GROWLERS 76. Was it any good? YESYESYSES! 77. What was the last computer game you played? Dolphin Olympics!!!!!! 78. Did you do well? Yes 79. What was the last meal you ate? gnocchi 80. Was it any good? nah

81. Do you believe in God/Goddess/Gods/Goddesses? nah 82. Do you agree with the war in Iraq? nah 83. Do you believe in aliens? liKE.... does it really matter what i think???? what ever i think doesn’t change the reality. but YA 84. Do you agree with the theory of evolution? OfC

85. Do you believe in reincarnation? ?? nA h ??? 86. Do you agree with the idea of the UN? United Nations (UN)? ya i guese ? ??  87. Do you believe in karma? meh 88. Do you agree with the theories of man-induced global warming? IT AIN”T JUST THEORIES GURL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! YEAs

89. Do you believe in democracy above all other systems of government? hmmm ya  90. Do you agree with Freddie Mercury when he sings "Fat-bottomed girls you make the rockin' world go round"?  w hh at a 91. What is your favorite movie?  SCHOOL OF ROCK. SCHOOL OF ROCK. SCHOOL OF ROCK. SCHOOL OF ROCK. 92. What is your favorite book? Animal Farm (ik im a cliche shh) 93. What is your favorite song? difficult question bc having favourite things is a bit weird imOP! buTTtttttt i will say rn it is proBS Tell it how it is, by the growlers, but that is just my fav like for this week, it will change soon lolol 94. What is your favorite city?  where i live ? lol idk 95. What is your favorite sport? NETBALL 96. What is your favorite place in the world? IDK and IDC!!!!!!!!!! 97. Are you glad these questions are almost over? I LOVE ANSWERING QS but all of these ones were pretty weak so yes 98. What are you going to do next? sleep 99. Do you anticipate this activity being fun? yesyeysyeyses 100. Give us a quote to end on...”i’ll kidnap a thousand children before i let this company die” - Mr Waternoose. 

Jac & Jesse

Jac: [Okay, so it's year 2, so she would be just 18 and Jesse would be just 17, it's their last year of school and exams are looming etc etc, all the behaviour has become business as usual so everyone would've just stopped freaking out as hard because you'd wear yourself out otherwise it isn't sustainable, I'm vibing that this is around Christmas time, just because I'm cruel and then we can use the worried Xmas picture LMAO] Jesse: [I like that because then it's not that far into school year 2 aka close to uni looming but it has been ages since her and Amelia started their whole fwb bs so a mood] Jac: [I think it makes sense because it's like, a year since everything started really so it's as raw in a weird way 'cos it's like a shit anniversary lol] Jesse: [agreed, soz boy that I haven't fleshed you out enough to know what's been going in your life for this year besides fame] Jac: [you can be vague, at least, because this convo will not be about you, fill in the blanks later, not all of us are wilding all the time] Jesse: [and not all of us are oversharers like Savannah lol he'd be keeping shit to himself even if it was all kicking off] Jac: [true tea, anyway, I will start this] Jac: Hey, where are you? Jesse: [somewhere he likes to go to write and generally have privacy] Jac: Oh, okay Jac: never mind, it's cool Jesse: ? Jac: I just was gonna ask Jac: well, I don't know what I was gonna ask actually so yeah, ignore this Jesse: What's wrong? Jac: I looked and I couldn't find it Jac: but it was kind of a hole so maybe I just missed it Jac: but I was sick loads and loads I had to get off the bus so I know that's gone Jesse: hang on, what? Jac: You know Jac: I'm not a total mess Jac: I always make sure, after Jac: even if I'm super gone, I've never forgot Jesse: alright Jesse: stop talking in riddles for a sec, I dunno what you're going on about Jac: I went to this party, a week ago Jac: no Jac: more like two, fuck, three? Jac: I don't know, but anyway Jac: I remember looking for a condom in the bin on the floor in the sheets whatever Jac: and I remember because I didn't find one so it got through the haze Jac: and then when I was coming home I was sick and I'd literally just dry-swallowed my pill 'cos I keep them in my bag or my bra or whatever I've got on me Jesse: Fuck Jesse: alright, we can sort this Jac: Where do I go? is it the GP or do I have to go to one of those clinics? Jesse: I'm having a look Jesse: where are you now? Jac: I don't want to go to the doctors Jac: can they tell mum and dad Jac: it's meant to be patient confidentiality but literally everyone found out when Millie H got crabs Jesse: you don't have to do nowt you don't want Jesse: I'll figure something out Jac: I don't have no one else to ask Jac: sorry Jesse: shut up Jesse: you don't need to ask anyone else, I'll sort it Jac: I don't know why I didn't get the morning after Jac: well I do but it's so fucking stupid to say it now Jesse: you never said where you were Jac: just got out of work Jesse: I'll be there as soon as Jesse: get a ☕ Jac: I feel like all of my insides are gonna come out Jac: this is bad Jac: what the fuck am I gonna do, Jess Jesse: don't start, you'll do your own head in before owt's even happened Jac: how the fuck does this even happen Jac: it's ridiculous Jesse: [sends her whatever he's been working on like distract yourself with telling me how crap this is etc] Jac: What are you doing Jesse: what kind of question is that? Jesse: just sent you it Jac: why Jac: I don't have the time or desire to listen to that right now Jesse: are you waiting for me or what? Jac: I don't know what I'm doing, I don't know if you got the general vibe of my messages Jesse: sit down for a bit Jac: fine Jesse: It'll be alright Jesse: I know where we're going Jac: that's the first step in this marathon shitshow, I suppose Jesse: 👍 Jac: your downplay isn't really helping, just so you know Jesse: we can't both lose it, dickhead Jac: if there's a time for it, it's now Jesse: might be in a bit, not now Jac: so you're waiting for your moment, okay Jesse: that alright with you? Jac: not really Jac: but whatever, it's the least of my problems now Jesse: you're 18, they can't say nowt to ma and da that's one less Jac: oh, true Jac: thank god I waited 'til after September to ruin my life then Jac: as long as the receptionists don't catch wind Jesse: they won't give it me, as a lad case I were forcing it down some lass's throat against her will Jac: what do you mean Jesse: if I could just leg it in there for you I would Jac: obviously you can't Jac: we don't know if it's even happened Jac: or what I'm gonna do if it has Jesse: yeah Jac: you're thinking of morning after Jac: but they don't give that to blokes now either Jesse: about as much I know about this, that Jac: have much experience then Jesse: not really Jac: you'd know if you had Jac: probably wait 'til you've earnt more money to rinse you of it Jesse: sounds about right Jac: not worth the negatives at this stage Jesse: tah Jac: not me doing you a favour by not getting pregnant Jesse: obviously Jac: 🙄 Jesse: 🙄 Jac: shut up Jac: you're so annoying Jesse: 🤐 Jac: ugh Jac: you say nothing yet you still say the wrong thing Jac: it'd be a skill if it wasn't clearly the opposite Jesse: what's the right thing? Jac: If I knew that there'd be no need for you or the conversation Jesse: come on Jac: what? Jesse: you reckon I'm getting it wrong, you must have some clue what ain't Jac: I don't Jac: you're just Jac: I don't know Jesse: say it Jesse: might make you feel less shit Jac: ha Jac: wouldn't that be nice Jac: miraculous, even Jesse: 🎄🎅 Jac: I wasn't looking to be the next Mary, tah Jesse: that were Jude's role in the nativity, not yours Jac: her years seriously lacking in talent Jesse: Dunno how top we can say ours is for having me stick a tea towel on my head Jac: it's not a musical Jac: the shit film was made Jesse: could've been if they'd let me have any lines instead of that 🐑 to chuck about Jac: as damning as this glimpse into your psyche is Jac: you really think you chatting about 4 year olds singing silent night is the thing I need right now Jesse: alright, kids ain't the ideal subject Jesse: I get it Jac: no shit Jac: you all do my head in with this shit Jac: honestly, peaking at vaguely racial costuming is the saddest thing I've ever heard Jac: and my life is currently in the toilet Jesse: piss off have I peaked at owt Jesse: ain't even properly packed for my gig yet, like Jac: it's you who's bitter at being snubbed for joseph Jac: no need to read between the lines, dickhead Jesse: never said that Jesse: he was well fit and had 🥇 line delivery Jac: don't be disgusting Jac: I don't know why you even remember these things, any of you Jesse: leave it out Jac: you Jesse: it's bollocks that you're saying you don't Jac: I don't Jac: and I don't care either Jac: and if I have to spend one more minute around you chuntering on about this shit that doesn't matter and never did Jac: I'm actually going to scream Jesse: go for it Jesse: I'm here now, you can properly aim it at me Jac: [just staring him down to make a point of looking at him like #unphased 'you got an appointment?'] Jesse: [we just nodding like yep let's go but not moving because we're rushing no bitch especially not for something like this] Jac: [obviously walking in whatever direction we need to] Jesse: [love a silence that should be awkward but is actually comfortable] Jac: [for you anyway but us losing our mind be happening regardless so yeah] Jesse: [we know he is too but shh because now is not the time for you to be scared sir] Jac: [get this appointment done so you can go away and think about what you're doing] Jesse: [hit her with the feelsy JJ lean while you're waiting so she knows you care though thank you] Jac: [just getting out of there like 'I wanna go to work but I've only just left and they're shut' no place to go casually] Jesse: [he should take her somewhere feelsy even if it is because it's not, if that makes sense, like for it's normality] Jesse: [I'd suggest his work but that's unlikely to be shut unless they had that appointment at a really weird hour lol] Jesse: [somewhere she'd actually appreciate being rn is the point anyway] Jac: [we'll just go anywhere rn 'cos truly nowhere else to go] Jesse: [even if he's just driving/walking you around aimlessly, we're giving you time to think gal] Jac: [we're just scrolling furiously through our phone right now to the socials/texts from said night] Jesse: [meanwhile he's ignoring his because we blatantly have shit that we're supposed to be doing that we're obviously not] Jac: [thrusting the phone in his face casually with a picture of this dude like it means anything 'do I call him now?'] Jesse: [a look like do you want to because we don't know this dude and even if we did it's up to her if she wants to have that convo with him or not] Jac: [when you do that pause like well, elaborate please] Jesse: ['it don't need to be now' cos it really doesn't like you literally just found out and are probably in shock] Jac: [nods like okay 'so what am I doing now?' we literally just wanna be told what to do] Jesse: [we're taking her to get sugary tea and some food even if she doesn't eat or drink it, leading her there like she is a bub] Jac: [probably automatically eating and drinking without complaint we are that out of it] Jesse: [it's okay he's got enough wits about him to go somewhere where they won't run into millions of people they know because not rn thank you] Jac: [just a ball of energy because we need to do something but what can you right now] Jesse: [such a bobbing lil leg under that table, both of y'all] Jac: ['this is not-' shakes head] Jesse: [just looking at her like what because not the time either to put words in her mouth] Jac: ['this was not in my plan'] Jesse: ['do you wanna stick to the one you had or have a different crack at it?'] Jac: ['if it were that easy-' face like it'd be done and we wouldn't be sat here] Jesse: [nods and drinks that tea] Jac: ['this changes it regardless' letting that sit there and sink in] Jesse: [let it hit him how big of a deal this actually is because up until now we haven't let ourselves think about it/have been focused on the minute by minute actions of all this] Jac: ['no matter what I do'] Jesse: ['I'll be about no matter what' like love you babe always gonna be here for you 'dead comforting that, yeah?'] Jac: [scoffs 'yeah, condemning everyone to the same life sentence of an unwanted child about or the gnawing guilt of murdering it is exactly what I wanted'] Jesse: ['murder's a bit strong'] Jac: [shrugs 'not really'] Jesse: [shrugs back like if that's what you reckon] Jac: ['I know what you reckon I should do, alright'] Jesse: [a look like yeah obviously because I think you should do what's right for you] Jac: ['well it isn't that fucking simple, Jesse, so just' the hand mime that's like closing your fingers like sh] Jesse: [mimes the 🤐] Jac: ['you might not say much but you're loud with it, I know you, remember'] Jesse: [a look back like and I know you too] Jac: ['he already has some'] Jesse: [😒 because how old is this man tbh and who is he we don't stan] Jac: ['not like I knew at the time, but I've checked him out since, obviously'] Jesse: [gestures like gimme your phone so I can look] Jac: [does, he can easily be in his 20s and my vibe is a kid when he was like 17/18 and then one a few years later] Jesse: [just stalking this dude and drinking our tea, looks fun and casual but isn't] Jac: ['he has a right to know, right?' like genuinely ?] Jesse: ['Probably, but I ain't gonna force you to tell him if you don't want to'] Jac: ['you aren't going to force me to do anything, or anyone else; but morally...' shrugs 'it'd be better not to know, in loads of ways'] Jesse: ['Did he say owt to you after?' because there is that condom uncertainty so like did he wanna follow up is our question or was he not bothered] Jac: ['no, I don't know him' like duh 'I had to ask Darla his name'] Jesse: [a look like there you go then, don't worry too much about him rn because clearly he ain't worried about if he got your pregnant or not] Jac: [🙄 'obviously it's not a concern until it happens, that's kind of the point'] Jesse: [🙄 back because it is a concern before it happens for loads of people but whatever] Jac: ['is this helpful? he didn't wear a condom, that doesn't mean he doesn't wanna be or deserve to be contacted, by that rhetoric the only people who would would be the ones you didn't need to'] Jesse: ['never said it did, and I never said don't bother contacting him'] Jac: ['just because you don't vocalize it, doesn't get you out of any responsibility for implying it with what you don't, for fuck's sake, when are you gonna grow a backbone?'] Jesse: 'what I vocalised were it don't have to happen right the fuck now and it don't, take a sec for fuck's sake'] Jac: ['no because we're on a fucking timeline here, we don't have a sec!' raising our voice assumedly higher than the hushed tones we've been keeping] Jesse: [putting a hand on her arm like calm down but not a patronising calm down just like the equivalent of the JJ soft hey but not in words] Jac: ['no' and pushing his hand away but in a more calm manner not aggressively so 'the longer you delay this the worse it gets, it has to be dealt with now'] Jesse: [eye contact because we will not be fobbed off hen 'I get that but you only found out about an hour ago, like'] Jac: ['I fail to see the point in meditating on it, like' looking back obvs 'and anyway, the fact remains I still DON'T know what I'm going to do so you've got what you want there anyway'] Jesse: [a look like don't be a dickhead 'you don't reckon you might be in a bit of shock or whatever, nah?' but it's not a question cos we know you are and then a look like you can piss right off if you think this is what I want] Jac: ['and what? if I sleep on it this will be any less of a life-changing, earth-shattering shock?' shakes head like don't be stupid] Jesse: [a sigh because we don't know what to do or what to say] Jac: ['it's very sweet of you to want to fix this-' our tone suggests we think otherwise lol '-but that ain't why I called you'] Jesse: [a look like yeah no shit because we know she didn't have anyone else to call] Jac: ['I literally just need you to help me make the decision and then be there, not make me fucking okay with it, that isn't what this is'] Jesse: ['alright' genuinely we do mean it] Jac: ['thank you' big sigh] Jesse: [getting more tea for you both, it won't fix it but it is our love language] Jac: [just be having a google about all the possible things you could ever need to know for every available option] Jesse: [you too boy while you're waiting for that tea because why not] Jac: [casually terrifying ourselves lol but necessary evil 'cos yeah, can't not do this shit 'I hope you feel fucking lucky not to have a uterus'] Jesse: [nodding because we do after all this googling if we didn't before] Jac: [ah the biological unfairness of being born a girl lol] Jesse: [I hate it and all I've had to deal with are periods so] Jac: [literally being a straight girl/girl who has sex with men is lowkey mental torture like constant worry and if it does happen any outcome is bad like] Jesse: [agreed and y'all are gonna have to go home eventually and that upsets me to think about] Jac: [let us say that's hit you rn bitch 'what are we gonna...am I gonna say? I don't-' we mean speak 'cos literally tis the season lol] Jesse: [when that hits you then because again there's no right answer to this 'if you owt to be said, I can'] Jesse: [*want] Jac: ['I don't want it but-' a massive pause whilst we try to get our voice back to how it usually sounds and not straining 'cos you're about to cry 'cos we don't want that, then when you speak again it's barely audible '- how many more secrets am I expected to carry'] Jesse: [scoots his chair as close to her as he physically can because it's time for another feelsy lean that means 1. I love you 2. you can tell me anything 3. most importantly you can tell this whole fam literally anything even Jude who is a lot] Jac: [shakes head like clearly not but we don't move away] Jesse: [letting this moment happen because it's been so long for you both] Jac: [literally a year in all the senses lol] Jesse: [soz that we've done this to you lads] Jac: ['I don't think I can do any of this'] Jesse: ['you ain't got a choice, not to sit back and do nowt, I mean'] Jac: ['I know'] Jesse: [pushes her tea towards her like drink up because again it's our love language and they can't stay forever] Jac: [at least there's an excuse to go to the bathroom and filmically have a moment] Jesse: [and at least when they get home she's in the basement so he can be doing music shit  lowkey all night without it being blatant that he's checking on her] Jac: [we can skipperoo to that] Jesse: [agreed] Jac: [say that she was out of work 5 ish, say that took an hour at the least two at the most, they get home 7 ish, this is like late/early AM] Jac: Are you awake? Jesse: 👍 Jesse: [strums a note on the guitar or presses one on the keyboard like hello] Jac: I thought you were meant to be talented Jesse: where'd you hear that? Jesse: sounds like a load of bollocks Jac: Probably Jac: isn't everything on the 'gram Jesse: ✔ Jac: you'll have to come with me Jesse: Alright Jac: I just need to decide how to do it Jac: obviously I can't have it Jesse: did you work out how many weeks ago it were? Jac: three Jesse: I can give 'em a ring in a few hours, see how long you'll have to wait to get an appointment Jac: it can be up to 2 weeks Jac: that's what it says Jesse: I'll take the first one they offer us Jac: maybe that's to get it done Jac: it's all confusing Jac: and you can get the pills online and they won't prosecute you now but I still don't know how safe or fast that'll be either Jesse: soon as I can speak to someone, I'll ask whatever we ain't worked out Jac: pills have to be faster, even if they have to order them in, that's only a day or two Jac: two weeks is too long Jac: but the operation might be less scary Jac: I don't know Jesse: [sends her whatever he can find about people's actual experiences even though it's probably terrifying because the only way to really decide] Jac: I don't want to do this Jesse: I know Jac: this is why everyone does it Jac: has the kids Jac: I can't do this Jesse: can you do that though? Jac: I can't do any of this Jesse: not to be a dickhead, but you have to Jac: I know that Jesse: [playing some kind of song from their childhood whether that's a JJ or grandma Ali mood like this will comfort us while we ponder] Jesse: I dunno about waiting times for it but if you want it over and done sooner, the operation takes less time Jesse: couple of hours and you'll be back home Jac: yeah Jac: the pills can take days Jac: and you have to make sure it all comes away what if it doesn't Jac: how would I know what's too much blood Jesse: you'd have to call 'em or I would Jac: I wish they'd knock you out for the operation Jac: that's all Jesse: yeah, I get that Jac: it's punishment anyway Jac: there's no lesser it's just picking one and sticking to it Jesse: are you gonna tell anyone else, other than me and him? Jac: I don't know Jac: there's no point, I guess Jesse: might be a bit of a headfuck doing the 2nd pill at home if ma and da don't know, all I were thinking Jesse: but we could go somewhere else Jac: I don't want them to know Jac: I wish I didn't know Jesse: Alright Jac: when it's over forget you ever did Jesse: come on Jac: keep it to yourself then Jac: I don't want to talk about it Jesse: you might and I'll be about if you do Jesse: don't mean I'll be shouting about it Jac: nah Jesse: up to you, that Jac: just leave it Jesse: I heard you Jesse: I'll leave it out Jac: Good Jesse: ☕? Jac: no thanks Jac: I don't need stained teeth as well as a ruined womb Jesse: I'll pick you up a whitening kit when I go work in a bit Jac: 🙄 Jac: can't really drink tea through a straw like you can your coffee Jesse: if you're willing to look like a twat you can do owt Jesse: nobody's about to 👀 any road Jesse: I've had customers cracking on with all sorts Jac: I'd sooner be found dead in a ditch than be one of your customers Jesse: charming Jac: like it weren't obvious Jesse: never said it weren't Jesse: still a bit rude Jac: what, that I'm not a pretentious hipster that likes to pretend shit music is amazing and everyone else is too stupid to get it Jesse: that you'd rather 💀 than have a ☕ off me Jac: I don't know why you'd expect different Jesse: I never said that either Jac: then why say anything at all Jesse: 🤐 Jac: about right Jesse: 🤏 Jac: what does that even mean Jesse: it'll do Jac: whatever Jac: not as if there's any choice in the matter Jesse: what does that mean? Jac: you're annoying and you've got nothing to say Jac: that's just how it is Jesse: alright then Jac: yeah, case in point Jesse: suits you often enough that it's the case Jac: yeah, love that I hate you all Jac: it's a right laugh Jesse: for us an' all Jac: as I said, no choice in the matter Jac: just get on with it Jesse: 👍 Jac: I'll do the pills Jesse: I'll be about Jac: whatever Jesse: you've gotta have somebody with you Jac: I'm sure plenty didn't and don't Jac: if it gets to much, call an ambulance Jesse: you heard, I'll be here Jac: and I said, whatever Jesse: let me know when then Jac: 👍 Jesse: 👌 Jac: no, it's not Jesse: no shit Jac: so quit with this shit and acting like it is Jesse: you Jac: I'm not Jac: I just wanna face my time and do it Jesse: I'm getting my head round it Jac: why? Jac: what's to get, it won't be here Jesse: that's to get if nowt else Jesse: you've gotta do this Jac: so, that has nothing to do with you Jac: it's my mistake my problem Jesse: all that shit I've read ain't just going in one 👂 and out the other Jesse: and it don't have to be my mistake or problem for me to be bothered Jac: then don't get someone pregnant Jac: really welcome for the cautionary tale Jesse: tah Jac: just go away and go to bed Jesse: I ain't finished, there'll be sod all point going to bed when I am Jac: great Jesse: I'll live Jac: I don't care about you Jac: I'm trying to sleep Jesse: crack on then Jesse: I won't stop you Jac: I can't sleep when you're down here Jesse: alright, I'll piss off Jac: thank you Jesse: night Jac: yep Jac: [the next day/day after potentially] Jac: I got the pills Jac: if you're still interested Jesse: they give you the 1st one at the clinic or what? Jesse: how I read it Jac: then you know Jac: I'm gonna fake an abortion for your attention? Jac: obviously not Jesse: piss off Jac: I'm not in the mood Jesse: I'd have gone with you Jac: no need Jesse: do you need picking up now? Jac: I had a cab Jac: they make sure you aren't gonna get off in a car and crash or whatever Jesse: you home? Jac: where else Jesse: is anyone else about or what? Jac: yeah, if you didn't want to do this Jac: you should've said from the start Jac: then I wouldn't have bothered with any of this Jesse: if you'd have said you were doing it I'd be there waiting for you Jac: forget it Jac: you're more of a hindrance than a help Jesse: for not being a 🧠📖 yeah alright Jac: no, for making this remotely about you Jac: and being such a fucking pushover Jac: sometimes, you don't take no for an answer Jac: I was fucking terrified last night and you just left Jac: so fuck you, I don't need you now Jesse: you told me to leave Jac: and? Jac: I can't do this right now, Jesse Jac: I'm literally fucking killing my baby as we speak and you still wanna say you were just doing what I said, anything for an easy life Jac: you're not my problem now, I shouldn't have picked you, simple as Jesse: well you fucking did pick me Jesse: and you know why Jesse: that's about you, not me Jac: because at one point you could be fucking relied upon Jac: my mistake you're actually useless now, well great, thank you SO much Jesse: I got it wrong Jesse: I'm sorry Jac: I needed you to break through Jac: at least try, my God Jesse: I thought you needed space Jesse: I don't know Jac: I don't have enough of that Jac: it's convenient for you to all leave me alone now Jac: you don't like me, whatever Jac: I just needed you to put that aside for this Jesse: piss off, I've fucking tried for a year Jesse: I don't know how to do this with you any more, I don't know you Jac: this isn't run of the mill Jac: it's pretty special circumstances Jac: it is to me Jesse: tah for that, I hadn't realised Jesse: fucking hell Jac: can you just stop Jesse: yeah Jac: Are you gonna come home or what? Jesse: I'm on my way Jac: okay Jesse: is anyone else there or what? Jac: I think Cammie and Jameson were but I just came straight down so they didn't try to talk to me Jac: they might've gone by now Jesse: I'll come in that way Jac: I wasn't just being a bitch, by the way Jac: I bled through the pad I put on Jesse: it don't matter if you were, they'll live Jesse: do you need me to get you anything? Jac: they're used to it too Jac: I've got the painkillers Jesse: I'll just hurry up then Jac: won't be going anywhere Jesse: [we're not saying anything because we're hurrying lol] Jac: [fairplay hen] Jesse: [is gonna bring her loads of things that she could possibly want though obvs to a laughable degree] Jac: [a hot water bottle is a good idea so say you thought of that lol] Jesse: [yeah, cue montage of him giving her a comical amount of things that she lowkey doesn't want or need but there will be some useful shit in there too] Jac: [okay so just watched a quick video, and the worst is infection, sepsis as very worst, it not all coming away, or the tablets not working and this is worked out by going through more than 2 pads an hour with blood, a bad smell down there, a really high fever and the pain not being helped like at all by pain relief methods; we'll let that not happen because it is enough lol, so the basics are severe pain, cramps and blood, nausea, vomiting, diarhea, being shivery hot, you pass tissue and clots and this is meant to take 1-2 days but can last TIL YOUR NEXT PERIOD, the cramps also last about TWO WEEKS, pregnancy symptoms should ease after a couple of days, like being sick, but you can still have tender breasts for several weeks, you can't take the test to confirm the pregnancy is terminated 'til THREE WEEKS later, because the hormones stay around, you aren't allowed sex for 2 weeks BUT IF YOU DO YOU CAN GET PREGNANT IMMEDIATELY AFTER AN ABORTION but like we won't be, you're also not allowed to bath for 2 days and if you have a shower you have to have someone there in case you faint] Jac: [thought we should have this v basic rundown] Jesse: [thank god he is there and not leaving her for a bloody second because I can't even] Jac: [this is what we say when nobody WANTS an abortion hun, this is brutal, we're so rude] Jesse: [worst christmas ever] Jac: [yeah this tops last year and yours before that Amelia, not that we having a competition but hey ho] Jesse: [also thank god that we said that birthday flower drama happened and they broke up so Amelia isn't there casually like oh hey] Jac: [I was thinking if we do want her to know/be real drama, she could try to hit her up, it is Christmas lol] Jesse: [yeah that's always an option because she'll never get you pregnant hun] Jac: [oops, I meant that the other way around, did not write that properly, like Amelia tryna be a bit casual like hey don't be mad it's Xmas and then Jac could flip and it'll obviously be more than the flowers] Jesse: [well that makes sense because it's Amelia she's probably bought her a christmas gift yet again lol] Jac: [that was my vibe lol, god knows how my boo will be feelsy/rude with that] Jesse: [I was thinking she should get her another gay book that relates to their life like she did last year but like folded up inside is a portrait cos she hasn't done one of her since that one when they were like tweens] Jac: [you can find a list I bet, at least you don't know about the gay baby there isn't, that would be too close to the nose] Jesse: [blatantly like a chanel lipstick because we got the lip balm a year before, a theme so yeah leave that for the bae like you did last year] Jac: [a vibey vibe tbh, soz you do not know what you're coming into] Jac: [but yes, this is gonna be a bonding moment for you two, because it'll stop being like let's talk about it and you'll just have to do it, at least 2 days of the worst, you'll have to distract and comfort anywhich ways you can think of, probably lots of old movies and eating comforting junk, I'm just deciding if we tell JJ ourself or make Jesse rn hmm] Jesse: [I love that for you two even though it has to be in such horrible circumstances, I think he should do it because they'll blatantly still speak to her but at least she won't have to start the convo herself] Jac: [yeah, that makes sense as a moment 'cos we aren't stupid and this is gonna be suspish to all of us but at least then we can keep the other kids mainly Jude from being like HEWWO] Jesse: [yeah because Jude is the last thing we need rn no offense hen but he's literally not leaving her and even he isn't the music bit THAT much plus we said he had a show that he's just skipping which Jude would probably know so she'd be like ??! if not] Jac: [like, I'm down for mentioning that is a thing or having her come into the inbox but we don't need it to get to deathcon 5 levels, like we don't have the energy so she'd just be ignored and I won't make you self-RP] Jesse: [we know it's a thing and we know the vibe] Jac: [mhmm, like at the minute we've probably simply forgotten but we will circle back 'round when we're not quite so in traumatic shock] Jesse: [poor Jude just like why is everyone ignoring me, god bless] Jac: [lmao GIMME THAT ATTENTION, truly JJ I dunno how you tell someone to stop without giving up the info but you've gotta somehow] Jesse: [distract her somehow lads, it's nearly christmas there is shit you can do] Jac: [just going on a suspish amount of Christmas activities haha i live] Jesse: [I feel bad for you hen but like all will become clear one day] Jac: [sadly how it's gonna be]

Jude & Jac

Jude: [okay so my idea is that like Jesse is doing some kind of little christmassy gig at Pete's record store and cafe moment because why not] Jude: You ready to 👀 the 🎄🎅 classics get 💀🔪🎤? Jac: You usually have to be famous before you sell out for Christmas royalties Jude: he's not NOT famous rn Jac: 🙄 you get a badge for signing up Jude: I should get a blue peter badge for rigging up his lil stage & backdrop Jac: if he was famous, he'd have roadies for that Jac: not unpaid family members Jude: 💻⭐dom for you Jac: This country fame for you Jac: it means about 10 people outside of Dublin have heard of you but EVERYONE here knows you Jac: so fun Jude: 🤣 by that I'm a star too & without a single 📀 Jac: Reputation doesn't imply any skill or talent Jude: 😜✌ Jude: coming or what? Jac: obviously not Jude: Jess'll be 😒💔 Jude: probs inspire him to belt out silent night with a well new twist 🎻🎻😭 Jude: 👍 or 👎 tbc Jac: I doubt that Jac: but he's welcome for the make or break Jude: 🏆🥇 Jac: whatever accolades he does or doesn't get are his business Jac: I'm going out Jude: Where? Jude: can I come? Jac: out Jac: and no, you have prior obligations Jude: Who with? Jac: Jesse, clearly Jude: Nah, who are YOU going with Jac: nosy Jude: tell me then Jac: 😂 Jac: why Jude: Why not? Jac: because it'll annoy you, is the easiest answer to that Jude: either it's top secret & that's just fun or it ain't and I'll see whatever 📷 clues on my feed in a bit Jude: I can annoy you loads more with my qs before that, like Jac: if you're such a fan of discretion you wanna work a bit harder at it yourself Jude: ?? Jac: when you said you had loads of questions, I thought you meant more than marks Jude: 😝 Jac: and I'm the poor conversationalist Jude: you're the mute Jude: Jess is the shit conversationalist Jac: who could get a word in with you around Jude: Lucky we all know sign language Jac: for my uni application Jac: nothing else Jude: be a bit rude if you singled out uncle Bob as the 1 person you did talk to Jac: bit fucking weird Jude: that too Jac: not gonna come for your gig on that either Jude: you'd have a job to Jac: thanks for the unintentional compliment Jude: welcome Jac: did you take my good pair of tights? Jude: not gonna go rob the place Jac: guess I'll just freeze to death Jude: RIP Jac: thanks Jude: 1. might be more helpful if I knew where you were going 2. welcome again 3. tis the season ⚰💀💔 Jac: 1. the north pole, to see santa and his pals 2. no need to stand on formalities 3. you're thinking of easter Jude: 1. say hey from me 2. I don't do formal 3. nah, I was thinking of how busy the 📞s are & how many people top themselves Jac: Cheery, aren't we Jac: you need some carols Jude: I can read a room Jac: laughable Jude: wish you would Jude: you a need a laugh Jac: if anyone can make it happen Jac: it wouldn't be you Jude: 🤡🤡🤡 Jac: seeing if Jameson still cries might make me crack a smile Jude: there you go, that's the spirit Jac: ugh stop Jude: ?? Jac: you aren't a fucking samaritan Jude: haven't made it official Jude: probs too young Jac: I haven't looked into it Jac: do you really want to be responsible for loads of losers offing themselves though Jude: when you put it like that Jac: you haven't got the temperament Jude: I heard you ain't looked into it Jude: but alright Jac: I've known you long enough to know you'd push a sane person over the edge Jude: whoops Jude: 🤪 Jac: hmm Jude: You gonna gatecrash Izzy's bday? Jude: I'm so coming if you are Jac: Why would I do that Jac: time how long it is before she has a breakdown? Jude: you did it for Millz' bday Jude: & she didn't FULLY have a breakdown though the gays ain't over it still Jac: Isabelle's life is already ruined, no need to do anything Jude: her ma would probs chuck you out anyway Jac: the role reversal would be nice for her no doubt Jude: as priorities go, doubt it's top of hers for what'd be nice Jac: 'cos giving a shit about her daughter clearly is, alright Jude: why are you going off on her ma? Jac: just because they're poor doesn't mean you can't say anything bad about them Jac: if her mum was about then none of it would've happened Jac: she can't even be arsed to take time off work to give Is time to heal Jude: & if her da was about, her ma might be able to afford to Jude: they're skint, you just said it Jac: if she knew who he was, he might be Jac: don't give me that, as if you know her Jac: she's a shit mum, always has been, and that's what happens Jude: alright Jac: so no, I'm not going to her sad party Jude: you should at least 🗨 Jac: no Jude: Come on, she's having a shit time Jac: Good Jude: 🥶 Jac: I didn't like her before she got felt up Jac: I don't like her now Jude: Bollocks, you were mates for time Jac: yeah, ask her how good of a mate I was Jac: or Amelia Jac: it meant fuck all Jude: 🙄 lies Jac: if you wanna lie to yourself, sure Jude: if you do, crack on Jac: evidence is in my favour so I'm fine with it Jude: Nah Jude: Amelia wouldn't still be 💔🎻😭 if you were such a shit mate & she was chuffed to be rid Jac: Amelia has her own angst to worry about Jac: as you mentioned Jude: yeah & part of it is you Jude: 🗑ing her off Jac: only when her girlfriend cheated on her Jude: & before Jac: you lez off with her if you're so fucking interested Jac: precisely 0 people will be surprised Jude: girls don't do nowt for me Jude: especially ones I've grown up with Jude: 0/10 interest tah Jac: sure Jude: Yeah I am Jac: probably stop going on and on about her then Jude: Touchy Jude: barely said anything Jac: you saying a word is a word too many for me Jude: 🤐 Jude: g2g as it happens Jac: 'tis the season Jude: +353 1 671 0071 Jude: 📞 it if you wanna 🗨 to someone else Jac: fuck off Jude: Love you too Jude: 👋 Jac: nope Jude: my declaration of 💘 isn't a q Jude: soz but not soz Jac: the too makes it false Jude: nope Jude: you love me Jac: no, I don't Jac: go away Jude: yeah, you do Jude: see you later Jac: go jump off o'connell bridge Jude: you're the only one freezing to death tonight, mate Jac: always next year Jac: he must not have got my letter in time Jude: next year I'll probs be ☕🤗 too Jude: defs is the season for that Jac: if you're not going to talk like an adult, then doubly don't bother Jude: 🤣 Jac: I cannot be clearer than fuck off and die Jac: I'm trying to get ready Jude: I'm getting ready too Jude: it's obvs doable Jac: you'll look a state Jac: I don't plan to Jude: funny Jac: just my honest assessment Jude: your snaps tell a different story of the state of you but alright Jac: first I need a laugh, the next you blast me for having one Jac: it's almost like you say whatever bullshit is floating around your head at the time, with no thought or feeling behind it Jude: don't sound like me, that 😜 Jac: not even slightly funny Jude: idc Jac: that's evident Jude: 👍✔ Jac: have fun hanging around your own brother like you wanna fuck him Jude: even less funny Jude: we're proper scraping the barrel now Jac: you'll be hearing that your whole life Jude: 💔 Jac: exactly Jude: 😭 Jac: just do it quietly Jude: can't & won't Jac: it's pretty much white noise at this point Jude: have you got with Raf? Jac: who? Jude: [some boy's profile like it him] Jac: oh Jac: maybe Jac: can't remember Jude: 👌 Jac: why Jude: Jess asked Jude: she's 🤔💭 about it Jac: lovely Jude: can't have been if you don't remember it Jac: she doesn't need to send my regards Jude: obvs, she wanted to know if he's worth bothering with Jude: there's her answer Jac: like anyone is Jude: so dramatic Jac: *not gonna get used all my life Jude: 🙄 Jac: my thoughts exactly Jude: 👋 fr then Jude: leave you to your 💭 Jac: yeah, foreign concept to you Jac: later Jude: ✌️

Liam & Edie

Liam: [sends her some kind of coded thing where the answer equals 6 when she works it out so she knows he's not living his best life without her because they're both weird little nerds] Edie: I'm so insanely bored Edie: what lesson are you in and how many negative ⭐s is it Liam: german Liam: all the negatives Liam: [sends her a picture of his textbook with everyone's eyes stabbed out via pencil holes like miss you] Edie: awh, you wanna give me schadenfreude 😍🥴 Edie: that's generous Edie: I was just thinking that a Columbine would liven this place up Liam: write your list, I'll try & think of anyone I'd wanna keep off mine except for you Edie: but being the last ones standing is what we aim for Edie: and what I want right now Liam: anything else you want before I kick that plan off? Edie: don't need time to say any final farewells to any dickhead in this place Liam: you've got a steadier hand, I'll need you to carve no farewells onto the bullets Edie: more deserving use of my time than whatever I'm not being taught right now Edie: how's your aim though? Liam: -9 ⭐s for the lesson you're in Liam: but + it for my aim Edie: my fault for naively thinking Physics might be interesting when I picked it Edie: forgot we were catering for the braindead masses Edie: I believe it, no bullshit brag detected Liam: chemistry would've let you blow more things up Liam: & make 💊 Edie: 😤 I'm mad Edie: no amount of black holes are gonna make up for this Liam: we'll learn it online Edie: but I wanna blow things up with you now Edie: or not learn German vocab Liam: let's go blow up a 🚽 they have to let you out in case you're about to bleed or cry in front of everyone Edie: and am I? Liam: in front of me & whoever else is in there Liam: unless you wanna upload it after Edie: I do need to make the overreaction my fam had over the weekend worth the headache Edie: owed more trouble, like Liam: my dad was on one too, he's the only one not allowed to show up by his logic Liam: you want a bigger scale? every 🚽 in the building Liam: maybe school would have to shut Edie: Know that, my sister is the definition of one rule for her, another for the rest of us Edie: I reckon we could do 'em all without getting caught in the act Edie: more fun after the fact 📹 to claim it Liam: just need to get creative with our explosives, I won't have enough 🧨 to do every bathroom Liam: you in the labs or a standard classroom? Edie: labs Edie: she's scheduled a breakdown any moment now anyway, she's always pissing off to cry herself so I'll take my opportunity and cue as such Liam: 3 HNO3 + C6H7(OH)3O2  H2SO4 →  C6H7(ONO2)3O2 + 3 H2O Liam: only need nitric & sulphuric acid from you Edie: you're a hot evil genius, okay Liam: there's a story behind it but maybe I shouldn't give it to you Liam: keep that train of thought intact Edie: but I need it Edie: I can keep 'em both on track, trust me Liam: you need it? tell me about that first Edie: I love stories Edie: and I liked talking to you, a lot Edie: and I like it when you give me things Edie: so yeah, it's a need Liam: to make you happy then Liam: the year is 1846 and this german-swiss scientist was messing in his kitchen Liam: he spilled a mixture of those 2 acids I told you to get on his table & grabbed the first thing he had about to clean it up Liam: happened to be a cotton apron & he hung it on his oven door to dry after, super chill until it exploded Edie: that's perfect Edie: scientists really loved making shit happen on accident, just like all life Edie: 🧫🦠 Liam: I was an accident & look how that turned out Edie: Big same Liam: my sister too, different loser dad though Edie: yeah? Edie: we've got that in common too Liam: does seem to be pretty common Edie: happy little accidents Edie: or not so Liam: I don't wanna be like that Liam: the different girls bit at least Edie: people love repeating their parents mistakes and bullshit Edie: even when they railed on it for years Edie: I don't fucking get it Edie: make your own, at least Liam: maybe you'll think this is one but I gotta say it Liam: I don't care about claiming 🚽💥 I wanna claim you Liam: be with me Edie: You mean it Edie: no bullshit Liam: only if there's bullshit that comes with being official & exclusive all of that Edie: I think that's a really, really good idea Edie: not a mistake but even if it was, I still want it Liam: alright, it's yours, me & the gay 🖤 shit Edie: [sends him a 🥰 selfie] Liam: it's my background Edie: you were already mine Edie: [glitter moment shamelessly] Liam: took the longest shower & I'm still finding it 🗺❌ Edie: good thing you suit it Edie: we can try again though, after the literal shitstorm, a shower is a good idea Liam: yeah, wouldn't suit that Liam: german teacher can disagree as loud as she wants Edie: 😏 Edie: can keep their filth and their hands to themselves Liam: I respect that you only covered me in glitter so that those girls would think I was gay & do the same Edie: people gotta respect territory Edie: works until I perfect your tat Liam: I'll get on the school roof with a 📢 Edie: You're everything Liam: you can sample it when you write a song about me Edie: I will Edie: your friend is not getting a feature Liam: his loss Liam: I'll only gloat for a while Edie: you can go as hard as you want, I reckon Edie: you've earnt it, like Liam: I'll go as hard as you want Liam: you're my girl now Edie: I'm yours Liam: make your physics teacher cry for me then Liam: we've got shit to do Edie: 😄 Edie: done Edie: where are we meeting when I'm fully done and have secured the shit? Liam: [a location] Edie: 👍 Liam: 🔜 Edie: making people cry is a speciality of mine Liam: it won't work on me Edie: I don't want to make you cry Edie: ever Liam: good thing I can't ever, all that toxic masculinity Edie: not missing out on much Edie: even if Miss makes a proper performance out of it Edie: more fun ways to do that Liam: yeah there are Edie: 💣💥 Liam: don't have to hand you a 🧨 to cause 🎇🎆 Edie: you don't even know how true that is Edie: yet Liam: for now it's a guess Edie: I'll show you Liam: I just wanna feel something Liam: that's not only 💊🥤 Edie: I will make that happen Edie: you don't need to believe me, just wait Liam: I'm waiting Edie: you deserve to feel everything Liam: I've tried but it don't work out like that Edie: you can't? Edie: or only certain emotions Liam: there's no 💣💥 in me Edie: we can be dead inside together and make it happen to everyone else Edie: for now Edie: [show up] Liam: [just kiss her too hard because everything you do is a little bit too much boy, okay you're numb but there's too many emotions trapped under the surface that we're not addressing so] Edie: [thank god we're so overwhelmed ourselves that we can just roll with this and have it be the most extra thing] Liam: [this is why you two work] Edie: [just approaching this like you aren't her first honey not even 'cos we're fronting but feelings and trying to make you feel things] Liam: [realistically who have you ever slept with either boy unless you've gotten with one of Rio's friends casually prior to this or something like] Edie: [just out here doing the most from the jump, the fam must be like HELLO???] Liam: [shouldn't be here for it but I am] Edie: [we all are by all I mean us and them, no one else lol] Liam: [imagine how shook he'd be because didn't expect it to be like this] Edie: [awkward, like the levels you must pay attention to no one but Rio 'cos she isn't really conspicuous in how she be lol] Liam: [and if he did get with one of Rio's friends when he first started stalking her it clearly didn't work out so he's probably bracing himself for another failed attempt and then] Edie: [it makes logical sense, like tryna get in the friend group lowkey but none of her friends are really here for it[ Liam: [yeah and like in my head he started stalking Rio when his sister had just died so he wouldn't have been bringing his A game] Edie: [exactly dr phil] Liam: [but obviously nothing happened that she could clock as a red flag when she's thinking of suspects he was probably just really blah because numb] Edie: [yeah, and none of her friends are gonna chat shit on the boy who's sister just died really like it's to be expected] Liam: [it's a good cover like you said] Edie: [just sat here like it's so rude we're gonna kill Edie, as if it wasn't rude before] Liam: [I do feel so bad for him even though he literally fucks with Rio's entire life] Edie: [lol same, it's like if you could just stop doing that tah] Liam: [I think it's partly because we both know she ends up okay and living as happy a life as poss whereas he does not] Edie: [yeah, there's no hope and that's just sad, even if you were an absolute dick, like Ro, per example, still sad she dies for everyone else] Liam: [agreed] Edie: [and you aren't that insufferable boy which is just well] Liam: [nobody is, she's next level] Liam: [anyway also do your vandalism and have way more fun than you expected with that as well] Edie: [when it's just a moment for you immediately and you're all in] Liam: [do we wanna close the school or not let them destroy every bathroom in the place for various reasons lol?] Edie: [on the one hand, maybe get caught before you do every bathroom for that trouble mood, on the other, if you shamelessly upload it you'd get in more trouble for making the school look dumb and shit hmm, I think this time get caught and we'll let you be sneaky trouble causing nerds plenty of other times[ Liam: [I'm about that, we know you're both pretty distracted rn so] Edie: [it feels more legit for this instance, and we can separate you and they'd probably call Ali in for the drama of it] Liam: [you can work your way into the fam later boy you're trying to keep your gf highkey for now, I love the idea of both their mums getting called in and awkwardly meeting haha] Edie: [they'd lowkey want them to kick up a fuss and separate them for the school but Ali knows how well that works so it's like well soz you'll have to cope] Liam: [whereas his mum is the opposite, you know the sort never backs the kid and is just wholeheartedly like yes do whatever you think @ the school] Edie: [ahh the joys] Edie: [once that drama has unfurled and you're in your separate detention moments, sending him a pic from the school website of all the staff but she's digitally ❌d out all their eyes] Liam: I miss you too Edie: I hope so Liam: what else would I be doing? Edie: I don't know Edie: you are full of good ideas Liam: I was thinking about setting the fire alarm off Edie: an acceptable second to thinking about me constantly Edie: would hate to perish in a fire with all these cunts Liam: to be with you Liam: I'd get you before they made you line up in the playground for the head count Edie: then we can leave, like we planned Edie: they'll have let our mas fuck off by now Liam: 🗑🔥 Liam: boring if it wasn't for you Edie: you're like Edie: seeing a new colour Liam: maybe I should leave you there longer so you can work on your song about me Edie: don't though Edie: I know it sounds cliche but that's the only way I can explain how blindsided but transformed I feel from you Liam: you're the only person who's said it, don't think that's how cliches work Edie: I don't just say pretty things for the sake of it Edie: or anything Edie: I mean it, regardless of what it does or don't sound like Liam: I know you mean it Edie: if we both set one, it'll take them longer to get back inside Edie: hide and seek and we can finish what we started? Liam: you're on Edie: 3️⃣2️⃣1️⃣ Liam: 1️⃣ 2️⃣ 3️⃣ Edie: [ahh this poor school lol] Liam: [love that you get to be notorious though gal cos peeps gonna be talking about these antics for ages] Edie: [in this fam you have to make your own rep or life is really hard junie and grace, I said what I said] Liam: [tea though] Liam: [I'm trying to think of somewhere cool they could go and my first thought was like a junkyard vibe so they can destroy more things like life is strange and sex education unless you have any better ideas] Edie: [that's always a mood, also very akin to the barn which will clearly be your domain so] Liam: [yeah and somewhere she's probably been loads of times that she knows all the hiding places of so they don't need to be interrupted again] Edie: [live your best destructive lives] Liam: [when he would be and lowkey forget what he's meant to be doing here, such fun, not devastating me at all] Edie: [the theme of these painful two years lmao, I'm so glad you never find out babe truly] Liam: [though ngl I wish you could survive and we could see if y'all as a couple could survive that] Edie: [ahh when you can't do it all, so rude] Liam: [could've had it all rolling in the deep] Edie: [soz you've got to die my love] Liam: [soz you both have, his poor mother] Edie: [yeah that is no fun] Liam: [soz both your kids are dead babe but we need it for the plot] Edie: [some people have the worst luck truly]

Janis & Jimmy

Janis: [Okay, so 'punishment' of cleaning everyone's rooms, like 1. you've been here a night, so how messy is anyone's gonna be 2. we're here for a long weekend vibe, does it need to be clean even as long as it is before you go, like? 3. you've left them alone without effectively any supervision when they being punished for canoodling, like alright lads lmao] Jimmy: What kind of bollocks paddy punishment is this? Jimmy: barely started and I've got 🚬 and 💰💰 Janis: the 'can't be arsed' variety Janis: nice Janis: only found some pocket change so far but saving the best rooms 'til last Jimmy: race you Jimmy: only need 💊 and 🥃 to have the ☠ full set Janis: alright, you're on Janis: what pills count though, important info, not agreeing if you're counting paracetamol, like Jimmy: You're the expert Janis: you what Jimmy: from 💀👑's shit stirring mouth to my ears Janis: she'll LOVE that you listen, I'm sure Jimmy: properly well trained, me Jimmy: go ahead and tweet that whenever you like, mate Janis: if you wanna make her jizz her pants, easier ways than using my feed for it Jimmy: yeah, that's TOTALLY what I want, obvs Janis: 🚬💰💊 and 🥃 first, I heard Janis: speaking of, how morally dubious is it to take Helena's meds? Jimmy: I'll keep the 🍫🍪🍬 I just found in my pockets, make it easier to fake that I'm pleased to see her Jimmy: reckon you're morally obligated to take 'em, Jesus is the only dickhead who saves Janis: 🐖 you, running through these halls Janis: I'll take 2, feeling generous, not greedy, unlike SOME Jimmy: Come get a 🍪 and save me from myself 😇🥇 Janis: if that's a nickname you wanna go with, I'll need 2, tah Jimmy: Alright Jimmy: 🐖💕 Janis: no, that's you Jimmy: I ain't the one with a 🍪 in each hand Janis: your pockets are just full, fatty Jimmy: Oi, I'm pleased to see you, Joanne Janis: not fooling me Janis: in on the secret, remember Jimmy: bit busy chucking water on Kieran's bed any road Janis: 😏 Janis: more like it Jimmy: I'll take my 🏆 full of 🥃 if you find owt Janis: I'll be SURE to let you know when I do 🤞🤞 Jimmy: you do owe me Jimmy: it were your fault it got taken off us Janis: How do you figure that? Jimmy: Who left it on top of the wardrobe for any dickhead to 👀? Janis: oh, where did you expect me to put it mid-performance? Jimmy: I wouldn't have let you sit on it if you'd left it where it were, not a kink Janis: 😂 you're DISGUSTING Jimmy: who's bed should I put this in? Jimmy: [a pic of the bra that I'm stealing from the OG convo] Janis: put it in Ben's Janis: his bird will lose her shit the hardest, be hilarious Jimmy: Which one's he? Janis: come find you and show you Janis: not actually told me what room you're in so Jimmy: do you wanna know? Janis: you mean am I having fun playing hide and seek? Jimmy: it's a valid question Janis: are you having fun then? Jimmy: Where's your answer? Janis: 🔍 Jimmy: ⏲ Janis: more fun than the bullshit activity they're all doing, no doubt Jimmy: There you go then, if you're happy, I'm happy, baby 💕 Janis: 🙄👏 Janis: screenshotted Jimmy: reckon we can do better than that if you ever find me, but alright Janis: long as it's not bragging about our crimes, can't be those idiots Jimmy: but what if our crime were fucking on 💀👑 or 💀#2 bunks? Janis: well, depending how graphic, that can definitely be posted, 'course Jimmy: only to her if it spares your 😳 Janis: Show me a point I've given a fuck Jimmy: You ain't talking to her and her receipt keeping minions, soz Janis: Exactly Jimmy: Where the fuck are you? Janis: was trying something, no cigar though Janis: you in their room then? one sec Jimmy: Go on, disappoint me, what couldn't you do? Janis: get in the teacher's rooms, they've got locks 😢 Jimmy: you can't break 'em? Hang on 💪🏆 Janis: [turns up and finds him, throwing whatever cigarettes and lighters she's found at him 'cookies, please'] Jimmy: [when he was gonna find her and vandalise the teacher's locks so they lowkey nearly bump into each other but he chucks the cookies at her before there's a #moment] Janis: [just nom-ing like there isn't a vibe, as per 'was saving their room 'til last, bet there's loads of rich girl shit'] Jimmy: [brushing a cookie crumb off her face with his thumb and then putting said thumb in his mouth to get said crumb 'gotta show me Ben's first'] Janis: [just stopping dead in your tracks for a hot sec there like you were stopping yourself running into his arm but that ain't why, nods 'he deserves it'] Jimmy: [we just walking so casually to this lad's room to fuck up his relationship lol] Janis: [soz not soz, whoever you are] Jimmy: [go and do #bragate and look through his shit lads] Janis: [the state these rooms gonna lowkey be in, so much worse than before] Jimmy: [I vote he should have some booze of some description so they have it when they go to Mia's room cos gonna be in there a while] Janis: [I concur] Jimmy: [when you shrug at her once you're done like anywhere we've missed cos should save hers til last] Janis: [points out the rooms she did so they can work out if they've missed any between 'em] Jimmy: [likewise tells her the ones he did and maybe they have missed one and there's nothing good but they can have an actual race to Mia's that she obviously wins] Janis: [😏 as we snooping with reckless abandon] Jimmy: [chucks some 🍬s at her with gold wrappers in place of a 🥇] Janis: ['you're buzzing to lose, remember' looks at the beds pointedly, then carries on going through their bags] Jimmy: [lights a 🚬 because fuck you ladies] Janis: ['what about me?' so #offended] Jimmy: [gives her a look like I didn't think you'd want one cos you're such an athlete but comes over and lights one for her, putting it in her mouth and everything cos always gotta be flirty about it] Janis: ['one ain't gonna get me as fucked as you, cute though, concern and that'] Jimmy: [makes a moment™ out of putting some of the ones they found into her pocket as well as his lighter that she was playing with before, not just a random spare and goes to lie down on the bottom bunk for a bit] Janis: [just leaves him be for a while, keeping busy over here, all casual, all fine, eventually, 'if you're going sleep, do your best to look cute so I can take some creepshots 'fore I piss off'] Jimmy: [just having his lil sulk cos he lost 'weren't the plan, that' and pats the bed beside him in his best attempt at creepy but then starts putting out all the shit he found to look through it] Janis: [best 😬 but goes over and adds her haul] Jimmy: [cracks open the booze whatever it is and takes a massive swig before passing it to her] Janis: [doing the same, throwing those two tablets out on the bed, like, offer is there 'she must be fucked up' shrugs 'decent shit'] Jimmy: [sharing everything else out like actual couple goals but leaving them cos he ain't that bitch] Janis: [when you ain't either so that's a #relief tbh] Jimmy: [lifts the pillow and puts them under cos that gal is gonna notice her meds are gone so might as well try and frame these bitches] Janis: [so into that it's not even funny lol] Jimmy: [then nudges her like which bed do you think is Mia's cos that's the one you wanna fake fuck on if you're doing only one] Janis: ['how's either of them getting up there, honestly' put gets up and peers for clues 'think this is Ella's, the PJs are negative sized, Mia wishes'] Jimmy: ['she wishes she were a top an' all'] Janis: ['so you are gay then' 😏] Jimmy: [😏 and chucks loads of 🍬🍫 up onto Ella's bed so either she'll be triggered or Mia will think they're hers and be mad or both] Janis: [gonna say you got some laxatives I'm flushing gals, along with pouring whatever expensive perfume/foundation etc down the loo, at least half of so you can't prove it 'cos it's not empty] Jimmy: [love that] Janis: [you both know you're delaying what you said you'd do though] Jimmy: [I'm literally sitting here thinking if there's a way we could let them actually hook up rn for the sheer #mood of it all without ruining everything lol] Janis: [like you could, and then pretend it didn't happen, maybe?] Jimmy: [that's what I'm thinking like if you both act like you're carried away by getting one over on Mia and drunker than you are, I just think it'd add to the weird dynamic and headfuck of it all if they did] Janis: [it's in character for her so if it is for him, we can] Jimmy: [like we know he wants to and would so as long as they both commit to acting like it didn't happen I think we can get away with it] Janis: [we doing it, gonna have to start talking if you're gonna get there though, lads] Jimmy: [lbr it'd we weirder if they didn't hook up at this point cos they always go too hard for the 'camera' and they don't have sod all clothes on yet again so they're gonna feel EVERYTHING when they're making out and dry humping all over each other, it'd literally only take something like that thing he does where he tries to say words and it comes out as a full moan to tip them over this precarious edge] Janis: [exactly, it only doesn't happen in this scenario if one of you is the type to say no for reasons or you don't actually fancy each other but you clearly do so] Jimmy: [we setting up both phones for all the angles as if you're not gonna forget about that immediately] Janis: ['least bottom bunk makes for #moodlighting, I guess'] Jimmy: ['more of a challenge to for us to break it though' because I remember in the OG convo they lowkey dismantled her bed and they should do that here because funnier] Janis: ['as long as you keep the top from squashing me with your giant head' we deffo should, a mood] Jimmy: [squishes her face like aw baby I will protect you, you small egg] Janis: [goes to smack his but as per, not actually lmao] Jimmy: [little playfight/pillow fight to get this tension going] Janis: [points if you can beat the stuffing out of these pillows] Jimmy: [you gotta lads and also leave your empty booze bottle hidden about in the hopes they get blamed for that too] Janis: [when neither of you are cool enough to party this hard, welcome for the rep boost hoes] Jimmy: [1000% living for the prospect of Mia getting in trouble with her dad though bye] Janis: [hahahahaaaaaha #disappointeddaddy] Jimmy: [that's a pisstaking # they need to use fr] Janis: [speaking of the socials, making sure there's Mia things in the background so you can start taking these shots like they bitch] Jimmy: [not actually stalling that time, it's genuinely important] Janis: [tis why we're here, currently, anyway] Jimmy: [crack on doing the most, you know you gotta go even harder than you did during the last photoshoot purely to annoy these hoes yep] Janis: [the level anything beyond making out/lovebites is unpostable, like do you need all these angles and different poses? nope but here we are] Jimmy: [like even if you just DMed them to her to ruin her ability to sleep in that bed you still don't need to go this hard lads] Janis: [could let her do the legwork lmao, we see you] Jimmy: [I love you two and your flimsy excuses so much] Janis: [hence this is so stretch] Janis: *NO Jimmy: [imagine if he'd fake dated some gal who literally only wanted to do the bare minimum] Janis: [an actual prude or the one girl that didn't fancy him] Jimmy: [he thought Janis didn't for a bit there LOL] Janis: [she got eyes honey] Jimmy: [LORD the eye contact rn don't even] Janis: [looking away when you literally cannot and ruining a shot or something neither of you actually care about but] Jimmy: [and kissing when you also cannot so your eyes get to be closed because you're not psychos] Janis: [literally running out of skin for lovebites] Jimmy: [hence you gotta hardcore make out and once you start you can't stop] Janis: [away we go] Jimmy: [this is simultaneously the best and worst idea lads, love it] Janis: [knocking those phones down 'cos do not need that in your life, even if we pretending this is that spontaneous] Jimmy: [accidentally recording their first time that they are gonna pretend didn't happen is not the one] Janis: [because Rio is your sister, purely, which is why she said no to being in the ad 'cos she thought he was being a dick and everyone else would] Jimmy: [I didn't even think about that in relation to the ad, oh boo you so smart] Janis: [hohaha] Jimmy: [if you two have been shook by how into each other you are, just you wait until after this 🔥 first time] Janis: [have fun downplaying this lmao] Jimmy: [god it's gonna be so awkward, at least we can have a teacher show up to take them to the next activity whenever we need] Janis: [when you can't separate 'cos the image but you can tell you being more distant and actually fake] Jimmy: [the next activity was trust falls and a blindfolded assault course which I think we should still do but we should do it different by saying they aren't allowed to work together for it cos bad eggs which they would hate despite the awks cos they both have trust issues and would be shamelessly jealous of the boy and girl the other is doing it with] Jimmy: [plus it makes more sense for the next bit cos in the OG they just went back on it later when nobody else was about and like he challenged her to do it better cos she was the blindfolded one I think and that's how she twisted her ankle which led to the fake injury but if they weren't allowed to do it together then it's more logical that all that would happen] Janis: [well done boo, fully approve] Jimmy: [yeah she was all like I could do it by myself I don't need you which can still be a thing but there's even more of a vibe this way] Janis: [a mood, lord knows who you're having to do this with first time around] Jimmy: [I think she should have to do it with Ben whoever he is for the lols] Janis: [oh ben, as long as your gf doesn't think it's her bra 'cos lmao] Jimmy: [we should give him Asia since they didn't do that project together this time] Janis: [she will probably drop you god speed] Jimmy: [we should say she does so Janis has to be all #concerned which is awks after what just happened] Janis: [after #caring for him] Janis: memorize that course before you do it Janis: no chance she knows left from right Jimmy: I ain't that thick, tah, I'll make her be the one to do it Janis: revenge, right Jimmy: you're alright, in well safe hands, you Janis: yeah, his girlfriend is neurotic, had practice Jimmy: safe hands til she gets hers on you then Janis: if I have to threaten to smack her too, I will Jimmy: 😍😍😍 Janis: just don't wanna be dropped on my arse like you Jimmy: I get it, ain't gonna be a soft landing Janis: just don't like looking like a twat Jimmy: you'll look well fit and mysterious in that blindfold, mate, TOTALLY on brand Janis: obvious kink but alright Jimmy: long as it ain't Ben's Jimmy: 🐇🔪🍳 Janis: if it is she'll be blind too tryna win back his attention, not concerned Jimmy: 👍 Janis: need some 🧊? Jimmy: can only give me the cold shoulder on your own time, Judith Janis: haha Jimmy: hang in there, baby Jimmy: 😂 so you don't 😭 Janis: be able to hide 'em behind the mask Janis: your 'look' makes sense now Jimmy: Busted Janis: 🤐 Jimmy: you're gonna keep my secret? SO romantic that Jimmy: my trust has been fully restored, like Janis: not very goals Janis: you crying all the time Jimmy: works for sir Jimmy: he's having one now Janis: Ben's very capable and we're all feeling a type of way about it Jimmy: Capable of getting you sent to sick bay in some weird accident they'll use to warn dickheads not to piss about on school trips Jimmy: won't dry my eyes so I look 💔 Janis: I get it, you're feeling sore Janis: 🍑hurt Jimmy: I get it, you're the only one who's allowed to make me feel like that Jimmy: you're alright, I'll fake that I ain't Jimmy: we'll still be #goals Janis: bit late for that Jimmy: 💪🏆 me Janis: not with that braindeadweight Jimmy: Challenge accepted, sweetheart Janis: unless the race is to first aid, you've got no chance Jimmy: that's you Jimmy: but Ill let you wear my 🥇 if you ask nicely Jimmy: 💕 Janis: 🙄 even less chance of that Jimmy: 💔🎻 Janis: poor boy Jimmy: Alright Mia, have you know I found loads of 💰 a bit ago Janis: shared it with me Janis: you ain't heard how the rich stay rich? Jimmy: I ain't afraid to pull my weight Jimmy: or teach you owt you don't know Jimmy: and you still ain't sorted out how to do cute so Janis: fuck off haven't I Jimmy: Have you? Jimmy: Don't count if you're using it on Ben Janis: not my fault they separated us Jimmy: how do you work that out? Janis: don't start again Janis: we both got in trouble that was the point Jimmy: Or what? You'll piss off with Ben to first aid Jimmy: crack on Janis: yeah, obviously Janis: this is stupid, you said you didn't care about getting in trouble, so don't moan at me now Jimmy: you said you didn't either so take your share of the blame, dickhead Jimmy: weren't being 😎🥇 on my own Janis: how am I not? Janis: you're trying to put it all on me for no reason Jimmy: nowt's your fault, you just said Jimmy: 😇 you Janis: that ain't what I said Jimmy: what I read Janis: whatever Janis: fact remains there's no time to be cute right now Jimmy: [does something cute to prove the point that there always is] Janis: go away Jimmy: 😘 Janis: 🖕 Jimmy: very cute Jimmy: you're right, you're smashing it Janis: there's no need Jimmy: don't sound like a cop out at all, that Janis: what, what do you want me to do Janis: because they chase around after boys, and that's sad, not goals Janis: I'm doing my part right Jimmy: nowt to get worked up about then, is there? Jimmy: sort yourself out, girl Janis: literally do one Jimmy: LITERALLY stop crying, meant to be on brand for me, not you Janis: [you need to ignore him gal] Jimmy: [take a time out Jimothy, we know why you're being a dickhead but it's still rude] Janis: [oh the drama] Jimmy: [do your best to get Asia round this course, we know it's gonna be a shitshow] Janis: [oh gal] Jimmy: [we should say they go back on their own when everyone's on lunch, it makes sense] Janis: [we gonna need to propose that but yes] Jimmy: [gotta be alone for that dramaaaaa] Janis: [wandering off 'cos cannot be bothered to do this lunch moment right now] Jimmy: ? Janis: can have a 🚽break, can't we Jimmy: long as you do it before so 💀👑 don't get her hopes up that you're joining the ranks Janis: don't need to, do I Janis: why you think she hates me Jimmy: I'm going for a 🚬 then, come find me if you wanna go in Janis: don't you need bed rest Jimmy: bit rude for a come on Jimmy: don't really get me going if you slag off my stamina Janis: it's a, let's not go in, plea, if anything Janis: say what you want for mine, I can't be arsed yet Janis: stressful enough training Ben for the past, however long Jimmy: Alright Jimmy: come have a 🚬 Janis: alright Jimmy: you not hungry? Janis: nah Janis: we eat loads Janis: 🍬🍫🍪 Jimmy: No need to go in then Janis: you can, if you are Janis: say I'm sick or sleeping or some other cute bollocks Jimmy: You're alright, already had my dose of ☠ Jimmy: wouldn't wanna 💀💀💀 without you by my side Janis: Obviously Janis: or in this dump Jimmy: unless it were on that assault course Jimmy: get everyone right in the shit Janis: good idea Janis: go back and I'll finish the job she half-arsed Jimmy: you admitting you ain't got me well trained either? Jimmy: nowt to worry about, I'll keep that secret with my dying breath Janis: didn't get chance, did I Jimmy: you're saying 💀💀💀 job done but if you were 🥇 I'd be in the safest hands going, wouldn't I? Janis: I could Janis: but maybe I want you to lay down in the dirt and 💀💀💀 Jimmy: Stop flirting with me Janis: you wish Jimmy: for 💀💀💀? Duh Janis: then go on then Janis: find a blindfold substitute Jimmy: always trying to get my clothes off, you Janis: maybe it makes you more interesting Jimmy: you waiting for me to disagree or what? Janis: dunno if bighead or 💔 Jimmy: while you're pissing about 🤔 I'm actually waiting for you here Janis: awh Janis: one of us has to, babe Janis: hold on Jimmy: funny and clever, fuck me, full package you are, girl Janis: DUH Janis: closest you're gonna get Janis: didn't know people as thick as Asia genuinely existed Jimmy: modest an' all Jimmy: her parents must be northern, giving her a name like that is a dead giveaway Janis: guess what her sisters are called Jimmy: Arabia and Altrincham, obvs Janis: truly not that far off Janis: America, another continent kinda, alright, then they realize they've run out so China Janis: 🎻 she'll have such a complex that one Jimmy: 💔 their last name ain't White Janis: 😏 Janis: [show up from wherever you've been freaking] Jimmy: [lights her a 🚬 cos she said she wanted one] Janis: [smoking that as we walk to this assault course] Jimmy: [keeping it casual and not at all awkward] Janis: [the vibe] Jimmy: [get to this assault course and immediately start messing about boy cos you're so 💪 obvs] Janis: [🙄 but using this 🚬 as an excuse to sit and 👀 on the low] Jimmy: [when you come and sit by her after a bit but that not close because you obviously are so unbothered] Janis: [shakes head 'stamina, who?'] Jimmy: [push her cos 1. oi 2. you have a go then] Janis: [gesturing to her cigarette like excuse me 'such a slave driver, you'] Jimmy: [takes it off her and takes a drag like well you've got no excuse now] Janis: [ugh-ing about it but going, without the blindfold moment first] Jimmy: [👀 shamelessly] Janis: [doing it backwards 'cos show-off like see, so easy] Jimmy: [such a sarcastic slow clap 'close your eyes and have a crack at it'] Janis: [🖕 'I remember being the one who did it well the first time, not you' ] Jimmy: ['weren't the fastest though, were you?' a fake sympathetic face cos at least Asia was one of the worst so like they fucked up the best #soreloserlogic] Janis: ['only because Sam and Lewis are so close they're like telepathic, not fair'] Jimmy: ['first place or nowt, baby' cos he's pretending that he's so fine with the nowt because Asia just to wind Janis up like she's yet again crying] Janis: ['for you, maybe' L on the forehead moment] Jimmy: ['don't need telepathy to know you're -' 💔 mime 'and they ain't about now, what's your next excuse gonna be?'] Janis: [just doing this like fuck you boy] Jimmy: [putting a timer on his phone and waving said phone at her] Janis: [that phone lowkey your enemy, so shaming you have to fall al soz about that] Jimmy: [when you're so genuinely scared that she might be hurt that you can't be a dick about it and literally rush over to help her up] Janis: [we are so fuming boy watch out] Jimmy: [just looking at her like ARE YOU OKAY TELL ME because very concerned] Janis: [when you're so stubborn and 😤 just hobbling away like no good day] Jimmy: [catching up to her easily obvs and trying to force her to lean on you for support/ go sit for a sec] Janis: ['I'm fine!'] Jimmy: ['stop being a dickhead, you'll fall again'] Janis: ['I wasn't being a dickhead, that's you'] Jimmy: ['you are now' helping her whether she likes it or not] Janis: ['don't talk to me'] Jimmy: [picks her up and takes her to where they were sitting before without saying a word of course and puts her leg up on him because you're meant to elevate it] Janis: [just grumbling about how ridiculous this is, but mostly to self] Jimmy: [just giving her time to calm down cos obvs he's gonna take her back but not til she's ready cos they might have to see people] Janis: [give you some time gal, then you just sat there pouting but not as seething] Jimmy: [taking her shoe off for her really gently because you don't know how much it hurts or not/if it's gonna swell up and you know she's not gonna tell you how bad it is or isn't] Janis: ['alright, perv' but we winced a bit so you know it does hurt some] Jimmy: [😏 but his 👀 are worried] Janis: ['at least I don't have to do any more activities' but low-key annoyed about that like why am I here lmao] Jimmy: ['they'd have to let me help you, if you insisted you did wanna do 'em' because same vibe as when they talked him back onto activities after they sent him to his room, we know what teachers be like 'could be very goals'] Janis: [shrugs 'guess so' leaning forward to inspect your foot yourself 'you just don't wanna be left alone with Asia'] Jimmy: [playfully nudges her but we all know it turns into that feelsy lean they do] Janis: [letting it be but you are the one to shrug him off 'it's not that bad' sighs 'no excuse to talk to Mia's dad, still'] Jimmy: [can't help a little genuine amused smile 'have to fake it's loads worse' when you're joking for the benefit of Mia's dad rn but that is what they're gonna do lol] Janis: ['why not? LOVE sympathy, like'] Jimmy: [gives her a look like are you serious or nah cos we could] Janis: [we thinking about the potential benefits here like hmm 'taking away attention for #2 has it's appeal, sure'] Jimmy: ['and I can do sympathy in a way you'll like' when that sounds way saucier than you meant it to] Janis: [lols like that is purely bants and such a horrific prospect you haven't even considered it at all seriously 'I won't like it, but they'd LOVE it, so it's worth doing'] Jimmy: [shrugs like that's what you meant anyway] Janis: [shrugs back like you suggested it don't get moody with me] Jimmy: [shakes his head because he's not and he doesn't wanna fight with her rn but then picks her back up and carries her away before she can potentially pick a fight, only stopping when they get back to be like gesturing with his head do you wanna go in the direction of the lunch room and put on a show IRL or the sickbay to put on a show via posts on socials or her room to do none of those things] Janis: [gesture for the sickbay, 'cos it's more dramatic and you still don't wanna go do the lunch room rn for all the reasons] Jimmy: [we taking her and getting her some ice with a playful look because of how she took the piss out of him saying he needed some earlier] Janis: [grump 😒] Jimmy: [when you can actually do the pouty lip kiss thing for the first time because we gotta do socials posts] Janis: [when that's too much of a mood] Jimmy: [we're all dying and wanting to die] Janis: [doing it again purely 'cos you mad, not so he has to do that again, nah] Jimmy: [does do it again though because that hook up was no time ago and we're very much not over it] Janis: [I highly doubt there's a nurse, just someone who comes to do your first aid then bounces so you know, get into it] Jimmy: [fully just having a makeout sesh that you literally have no excuse for] Janis: [we need to, tbh] Jimmy: [I'm loling because it reminds me of when Ali twisted her ankle going up the mountain cos she was so 😍 for Carly especially because of all the posts he's gonna do on socials to milk this, suck it Ella, nobody cares that you got 'hurt']] Janis: [lmao, it is like that, soz you can't regale us like a cringe mum 'cos not on them good terms currently even though you'd all be slightly better 'cos your mum really held it down for all y'all soooo, yeah not even Mia cares, HOW MUCH DOES THAT HURT] Jimmy: [at least Janis can let Jimothy do all the work posting cos you so injured babe and he can be busy with that so y'all don't hook up again] Jimmy: [though would make lol if you two went insta live from sick bay] Janis: [Q&A 'bout the situation lmao go off] Jimmy: [everyone has a million questions about your everything rn we know] Janis: [and we need to feel like we back on top of faking this, right] Jimmy: [mhmmm] Janis: [going through her phone beforehand to see if there's any burning Qs] Jimmy: [when you just chuck her yours cos cba and also got that trust™] Janis: [🙄 'you do your share of the work, yeah?' 😏] Jimmy: [🙄 but you hold your hand out for your phone back cos #whipped] Janis: [shakes head, shows him Ben's girlfriend popping off 'cos that bitch like LOL] Jimmy: [pats her on the back IRL like good job babe cos genuinely amused] Janis: ['gutted I ain't gonna get him without a fight, obviously'] Jimmy: ['if you can't take her on with one good leg, you don't deserve him'] Janis: [😲 'how dare you'] Jimmy: ['I dare 'cause I don't give a shit, remember'  yeah okay Jimothy we know you're a rebel without a cause calm down 'nowt's too much trouble'] Janis: ['put it on your business card you now know how to make'] Jimmy: [😏 'nice bit of labour red font, and what do you know, colour of blood an' all, proper on brand that'] Janis: ['have to try again if you want to draw blood, bastard'] Jimmy: ['and you'll have to ask nicer if you want me to join your ranks, vampire girl'] Janis: ['think not, hot topic'] Jimmy: ['What the fuck is hot topic?' he's genuinely like ?] Janis: [😂 and not telling him like look it up and feel the burn on your own time, boy] Jimmy: [poking her which turns to tickling her like tell me] Janis: [shall never even if we reinjure ourselves rn] Jimmy: [casually a good place to start the stream though like oh are we live already oops we're just here living our best lives] Janis: [having a better time than all of y'all always] Jimmy: [making sure to lowkey be nursing her through this stream cos she's oh so injured and he's oh so attentive #hoesbejealous] Janis: [fight every instinct you have girl, pretend you loving it and be SO appreciative] Jimmy: [we making it look so casual like oh lemme prop your ankle up a little more, lemme get you another pillow for your head, lemme get you some water, no it's okay you answer this question brb] Janis: [#anatural because you raising your siblings that's the tea, LOVE to know how these questions are going] Jimmy: [that is the tea even if she's lowkey like why's he so good at this the weirdo #kinks] Jimmy: [but we know this is going brilliantly cos they are both funny fucks and bringing the chemistry] Janis: [yeah you have no idea beyond how he portrays himself as being so good at all this stuff and you can't question that without outing yourself so you shan't obvs] Janis: [probably a solid mix of bitchiness and perviness tbh] Jimmy: [when lunch can't last forever and you have to decide if you're going to whatever the afternoon activity is or if just he's going and she's staying there or you're staying together or what] Janis: [I say she better stay so it seems legit but you should go and pine sir] Jimmy: [not even fake we 👀 you boy] Janis: 🤞 you get teamed with someone with two braincells this time Jimmy: you'd have to cross more than that Jimmy: nowt but idiots about round here Janis: you and her are soulmates Janis: A* couple Jimmy: Tah, I'll get in her DMs and let her know you reckon so Janis: go for it Janis: honestly, probably the only thing that'll deter her Janis: inability to fuck me over 💔 Jimmy: 🎻🎻 Jimmy: Woe's you is the #mood over here, mate Jimmy: 🏆 for staying on brand Janis: so you're gonna fatally wound me and then take the piss? nah Jimmy: if I were gonna fatally wound you, you'd be 💀💀💀 Jimmy: didn't push you off or owt Janis: be nice to me to their faces at least Janis: story change so quick Jimmy: [does some extra post about how much he misses her etc] Jimmy: alright? Janis: 👍 Janis: 🏆 for staying on brand Jimmy: not a challenge for me Janis: so you keep saying Jimmy: meaning what? Janis: meaning I should ask you that Janis: they eat up that live Jimmy: 👍 Janis: Whatever Janis: next week or whenever you can pick someone else to do it with Jimmy: What are you on about? Janis: if you reckon I'm so shit at it Jimmy: I never said Janis: you say it all the time, boy Jimmy: steady on Jimmy: you did alright, there's nowt to get a mard on over Janis: whatever, like I said Jimmy: What? Janis: what? Janis: what are you doing, anyway? Jimmy: I'm asking you what's the matter, nowt else til you've answered that, like Janis: nothing's the matter Janis: just don't know why you have to talk to me like such a dick all the time Jimmy: I'm a dickhead Janis: yeah Jimmy: What do you want me to talk to you like? Janis: literally just like we both have a stake in this plan and that we're both doing shit about it, nothing more or less Jimmy: okay Janis: alright then Jimmy: I'm fed up of this bollocks, cover me Janis: 👍 no fucker is coming back here to check on me so Jimmy: just me if anyone @'s you Janis: yeah, sure Janis: no doubt assuming at this point, idiots, like you said Jimmy: I'd chuck 'em all 🏆🏆🏆🏆 for giving us such a hand but I'd be there ages Janis: generosity has to know some bounds Janis: or it'll just get weird Jimmy: right Janis: anyway, you need any more 🚬 Janis: got loads now Jimmy: don't you need 'em? Janis: nah, not a smoker Jimmy: I'll come pick up 'em when I do you then Janis: literally this time or Jimmy: can't get back on your own, delicate little lass like you who's walking wounded an' all Jimmy: what kind of fake boyfriend would I be Janis: ugh Janis: suppose so Jimmy: I get it, you're fed up of this bollocks yourself Jimmy: should've put 💰 on you not staying put in that bed for nowt Janis: you didn't wanna stay in bed either when they sent you out, if I recall Jimmy: I weren't in pain but alright Jimmy: you said no fucker's coming to check, come with me if you want Jimmy: I reckon I might 🔓 the teacher's rooms Janis: I'm putting it on, remember but 🤫 Janis: yeah? Jimmy: funny that, I were putting my 💔 on at getting sent out Jimmy: heard you were such an athlete, reckon you've got it in you to hop over and meet us or what? Janis: 😱 no way! you're SUCH a social butterfly though Janis: 🐇 on the brain, new boy Jimmy: 🦘🥊 Jimmy: so 💪🏆🥇 you Janis: don't need to compliment me, it was my idea, obviously coming Jimmy: How were it your idea? I just had it Janis: 'scuse you Jimmy: you Jimmy: nicking my 🥇💡 Janis: such a wind-up Jimmy: that's you an' all Janis: 😒 Janis: ignoring you Jimmy: be my #ultimategoals if any lass could Janis: if you talked more, they'd get over it faster, I reckon Jimmy: if they let me get a word in, I might do Janis: that's what they want, mute hot boyfriend Jimmy: 💔 for 'em that my brother's only a kid and got a fair shout not growing up to look like me Janis: you joke now Jimmy: do I? Janis: 🤡 Jimmy: don't forget the 🔪🩸 Janis: brother ain't got a yellow mac, has he Jimmy: did do when he were a bit younger Jimmy: and he loves pissing about with a bit of paper Jimmy: ain't hard to make a ⛵ Janis: just don't let him go out in a torrential downpour like a fucking idiot then Jimmy: he's scared of 🎈 any road and going fucking anywhere without me Jimmy: be alright Janis: cute or annoying? Jimmy: How would I know? Jimmy: obvs a shit judge of character if I'm not 😍😍🤤 for 💀👑 Janis: or you cba to deal with her for a bigger tip than the one you get as is Janis: replaces minions with some frequency so, reconsider, babe Jimmy: about as much chance getting a tip off her as she does getting me to put even the tip in her Jimmy: done a crazy ex, and she ain't rich enough to make me reconsider having another go at it Janis: that's not a 😍😍🤤 mental image Jimmy: soz Janis: should be Janis: what kind of fake boyfriend Jimmy: [shows up to help her on this very short stroll to where the teacher's rooms which he absolutely doesn't need to do cos he's that kind of fake bf] Janis: ['what do you reckon Mr. Lucas deemed essential for this trip?' we chatting and walking] Jimmy: ['Old school porn mags about virgin school girls' because we treating him as so old he can't work the internet] Janis: [shudders 'too real' he has been there since gen 2 so in their minds you that old lol] Jimmy: [nudges her but then does the OTT catching her thing like obvs she's gonna fall just from that cos so injured] Janis: [more of a push than a nudge 'cos perfectly capable, tah] Jimmy: [we all know you just wanna touch her boy but takes a dramatic step back like okay then cos she was probably leaning on him at least a little bit] Janis: [😒 but striding out like fine] Jimmy: [takes a 🚬 from behind his ear cos #mood] Janis: [making this injury so much worse than it needs to be is the #mood here for you] Jimmy: [when you offer her the 🚬 after a bit cos sharing is caring even though you have loads now and don't need to share remotely] Janis: ['downgrade noted' miming 💔 but taking it like 😏] Jimmy: [we know you just wanted the excuse of passing it back and forth to walk closer to her again instead of hanging back] Janis: ['bet Ms Burke has bare booze an' all'] Jimmy: [irl 🤞 cos what you found earlier is long gone and they've probably drunk what they confiscated off you if it was better than what they brought #tahIan] Janis: [coming through for the teachers at least] Jimmy: [and he will be annoyed Jimothy took it in the first place so mission accomplished there 'looks like she put a fair bit of it away, better crack on before there's nowt left' and picking her up like you're taking ages gal but shamelessly just wanna] Janis: ['you've got a blatant kink' when you meant to sound pisstakey but deny it's not a mood so you end up sounded flirty anyway] Jimmy: ['it's only blatant if you keep tweeting about it' because we've gotta bring it back to fake or we'll die/do something we shouldn't] Janis: [looks down at herself being carried, like, 👌 but drops it 'so you finally admit you don't do everything'] Jimmy: [looks at her ankle 'be the size of your head if I don't, gotta admit that, you'] Janis: [shrugs like it doesn't matter as if the only thing that keeps you sane isn't running and other exercise] Jimmy: [shrugs back like he doesn't know that, at least on some level cos how sporty you are] Janis: [jumping down literally as soon as you can 'cos awkward and looking at him like 'impress me then'] Jimmy: [automatically steadies her when she jumps down because such a big brother but then we're cracking onto this breaking and entering cos wouldn't be that hard it's not exactly state of the art] Janis: [we just gotta kick it open and deal with the fact they'll probably assume it's you two] Jimmy: [they both wanna get in trouble it's fine] Janis: [mhmm] Jimmy: [kill some time looking through all their shit lads] Jimmy: [I like to imagine you both pissing about with the ugly teacher clothes too] Janis: [100%, and dragging their lives based on even the flimsiest of evidence 'cos fuck the police] Jimmy: [when you're having such a lovely time you don't even drink yet cos you don't need to] Janis: [we need to fuck with Mr. Lucas' stuff the hardest like actually go too far, so that he will remember, 'cos any other teacher, even if they're like 'you'll be in trouble when we get back!' would forget after 3-weeks, but he needs to remember so we can be straight in that detention moment after] Jimmy: [10000% approve of that because he's gotta become their nemesis] Janis: [actually shady we not just joking fully here] Jimmy: [mhmm it'll give you something else to bond over cos you're casually becoming friends and falling in love during this bit which would be a fantastic montage] Janis: [true tea, we can always use detentions to our advantage so why not, it's community service lite] Jimmy: [is there anything else we wanna have happen before the activity time finishes and he carries her into dinner and gets her food for her and everyone dies about it?] Janis: [unless we're gonna hit 'em with another #moment] Jimmy: [you know I wanna cos I'm that bitch but is it too #risky?] Janis: [nah 'cos they can hear something/someone and have to literally bolt 'cos teachers room] Janis: [then she'll need carrying legit 'cos running is not the one rn but have to] Jimmy: [that's such a mood like it's the equivalent of running and handholding but even cuter bye, try not to die because you're so in love rn kids] Janis: [so we kissing and not getting a phone out before this, just so we remember] Jimmy: [cos god knows I might not be allowed to write it in tags 😒 but important q is who initiated it?] Janis: [hmm, can be her] Jimmy: [okay go have your coupley dinner moment lads, they can't stop you sitting together now she's an invalid] Janis: [make him feed you so then you can feed him in a suggestive manner, they'll literally be fuming and starving at that] Jimmy: [god bless, and thank god you can kiss as much as you want rn cos you'd be fuming you got interrupted] Janis: [and you can go some 'cos doing the most to be the most so enjoy that] Jimmy: [we know that's the mood you're in rn lads and the teachers are already sick of you so who cares if they're bothered] Janis: [or anyone else like who do either of you like, so fuck 'em] Jimmy: [and it lends itself nicely to the vibe of putting on a show for whichever of the flatwhites are in your room afterwards because that still needs to be a thing] Janis: [we can separate them for a bit before that if you want though?] Jimmy: [why not, amp up the tension and sexy mood a bit further lol] Janis: [my thoughts exactly] Jimmy: [like we know he's fake nursing her again but the #mood is a very different one to the cuteness of sick bay earlier so] Janis: [yeah, clearly it's a sit-down type activity so you can't insist you need to work together now] Jimmy: [I dread to think what boring bollocks] Janis: 💤 Jimmy: 😎🔨 Janis: 😶 🦷🦷🩸🩸🩸 Jimmy: 💕 Janis: you'd have more intrigue, I reckon Jimmy: work hard not to look my 45 years though, don't I? Janis: you haven't had enough fake compliments? Janis: yes, so youthful, not a day over 38 😘 Jimmy: just saying it might look less like I were hiding my crow's feet and more like I were keeping it to myself that a bird pulled 'em out Jimmy: and how am I gonna do 😍 with 🚫👀 Janis: have to 🖐 Jimmy: [signs some fake compliments at her which we know aren't that fake] Janis: not what I meant but even without 👀 you have a better chance than me of getting it right Jimmy: I know you meant 🖕 but it'd have the fans in an uproar, Jasmine, think on Janis: I meant feel faces, you dick, not so un-PC that I don't know the difference between 😎 and 🔇 tah Janis: I'm keeping it goals here Jimmy: [comes over and shamelessly touches her face and hair in such a suggestive manner like 1. you meant like this yeah, I'm just getting my practice in 2. I'm keeping it goals too] Janis: still 😍 Jimmy: There you go then Jimmy: crisis averted Janis: get the ✂️ Jimmy: [we casually sending her doodles of all the ways they could die rn, starring adorable cartoon JJ's] Janis: such a dreamer, you 💘 Jimmy: romantic was taken by you Janis: obviously Janis: ask anyone Jimmy: had the Q&A a bit ago, babe Jimmy: you hit your head an' all? Janis: who was funny taken by, like? Jimmy: Ben's missus Janis: true Janis: shame Ben has a head like a turnip or I'd break them up for real Jimmy: that'll be why I said it, don't lie to mine, do I? Jimmy: don't have to get with him to do that Jimmy: I'll crack on to his soon to be ex Janis: if you think 🏉 heads are better Jimmy: Tah for the head's up, I won't feel hers Janis: lowkey got braille going on Janis: but you don't fake owe me that Jimmy: be a right laugh Jimmy: why wouldn't I? Janis: make you her next victim, probably why not Jimmy: I get it, you wanna be the one to 💀💀💀 me Jimmy: Alright, Jules, I'll steer clear Janis: that's the deal Jimmy: 🖋🩸 Janis: tempting Janis: jazz up this project Jimmy: Hang on, I'll open up a vein for you Jimmy: what could be more #goals? Janis: next Q&A, babe Jimmy: 👌 Janis: torture kink confirmed for Lucas 😩 Jimmy: nowt we weren't in the know about ages ago Janis: this is bold though Jimmy: you could boldly go back to sick bay Jimmy: they don't know you didn't hit your head, and one that size the headache would be 💀💀💀 Janis: no more fun that, is it Janis: may as well be bored here Jimmy: Depends Janis: I checked, the meds are shit Jimmy: but what Ms Burke uses to self medicate weren't that bad Jimmy: no 🍾 like, but you'd be alright Janis: I'm not as 😢 as her Janis: trying to get me drunk is a choice though Jimmy: right little ☀ you Jimmy: I'm trying to stop you whinging Janis: 'cos you're loving life Jimmy: no dickhead is, that'd be the point Janis: so 🤐 like it's a me problem Jimmy: I never said it were Janis: you was whinging bout it Janis: your table well interesting, yeah? Jimmy: You've got an excuse to do one, someone'd stop me before I smacked my head into the desk enough times for 🤕 Jimmy: that were what I said, nowt else Jimmy: take it or don't, girl Janis: 👍 Jimmy: 🙄 Janis: I told you, I'd be bored regardless, we don't need to go over it again Jimmy: Alright, fucking hell, forget I said owt Janis: Gladly Jimmy: 👍 Janis: if you want a break from your duties, I'll go rest after Jimmy: if you wanna tell me to piss off, do it properly Janis: fuck off turning shit around on me Janis: you want me to go now, just ignore me, no one is going to call us out if we give it a rest for a hot sec Jimmy: just leave it out Janis: fine Jimmy: is it? Janis: yes, stop asking like that Jimmy: stop being a massive twat Janis: why bother Jimmy: I don't want you to go nowhere, alright? Janis: alright Janis: what is it then? Jimmy: What? Janis: wha's wrong? Jimmy: What's wrong with you? Janis: Charming Jimmy: right Janis: you just seem moodier than normal, weren't calling you a total weirdo freak, was I Jimmy: Dunno, I read lips not minds Janis: another tagline Jimmy: give me my 🏆 whenever Janis: you know you want it off sir harder Jimmy: Mia's already deemed that non-goals, can't be a goer Janis: 💔 Janis: get it now Jimmy: 🎻🎻😭 Janis: Baby Janis: can't handle 🥈 Jimmy: you'll get used to it Janis: forgot my question mark, whoops Jimmy: yeah yeah Jimmy: I'm 🥇 ask anyone Janis: I'm the prize, ask anyone Janis: being nice to you, dickhead Jimmy: I'd have to give 'em a smack if I did do, that kind of fake boyfriend Janis: well 'ard Jimmy: 💪🏆 Jimmy: be less bored an' all Janis: getting to slag me off? yeah, you love it Jimmy: Getting to defend your honour, dickhead Jimmy: I'm the only one who gets to slag you off that's what 💕 is Janis: 😏 Janis: sounds about right Jimmy: should've probably phrased it more 🤓 for the screenshot Janis: where's my poetry, dickhead Jimmy: Hang on Jimmy: [writes her something actually good cos #muse] Janis: you save that from your crazy ex? Janis: s'clever, actually Jimmy: Do you see any other lass' name ❌? Janis: just think you were trying to remember mine, tbf Jimmy: What is it again? Janis: not important Janis: just stick with a pet name that makes us wanna puke Jimmy: Hers don't begin with the right letter, always get that far, me Jimmy: [draws her a doodle of a the JJ love heart for the first time ever] Janis: [mking sure the whole table sees so subtly] Janis: she weren't willing to change it? Janis: part-timer Jimmy: weren't willing to 💍👰 her, that were her next one Janis: your ex is a child bride? Jimmy: grim up north, you've been told Janis: that is 'it's their culture we shouldn't judge???!' grim though Jimmy: like I said, nowt to do with me Jimmy: if it stops her shagging half the north it'll be a bit less grim that she were Jimmy: *than Janis: 😬🤐 Jimmy: *😐 Janis: did you break up 'cos you came here, or was it ages ago? Jimmy: Did you not clock how unbothered I were there? Janis: that's just your face all the time Jimmy: *😒 Jimmy: That's my face Janis: 😍 there he is Jimmy: [makes her a paper boat and puts it on her desk] Jimmy: next time it's 😭 you've got that to piss about with Janis: [Blows him a kiss] Janis: 🤤🥴 you want me to get my arm ripped off by a clown? hot Jimmy: [IRL 😍 because we will lose ourselves if we're too real rn] Jimmy: #kinkunlocked Jimmy: That mean you'll let me 🪓🦶 or what? Janis: that's why you want me bedbound, all adding up now Janis: currently, I'll take it, do your best to do your worst, or whatever Jimmy: 🛏⛓ Jimmy: 🎀 Jimmy: You alright? Janis: gonna take Helena's pills, then I will be Jimmy: What's wrong? Janis: feels like someone's 🪓🦶 from the inside out Jimmy: Fuck this, I'm taking you to your room Janis: You don't have to, seriously Jimmy: [does though and tells the teacher that's what he's doing like I dare you to stop me bitch] Janis: [not in a position to argue, just like 'that's what they're for, she's got a slipped disc or some bollocks'] Jimmy: [casually having a row with the teacher like we're going good day and they do go and he puts her on her bed so gently like the softest boy and goes to get said 💊 soz Helena but not soz Mia if you do get the blame for this after having those couple under your pillow and more ice and an ankle support or whatever from the shit first aid like brb] Jimmy: how many? Janis: [oh boy you so pure] Janis: take another 2, please Janis: then I'll have 1 for tomorrow too Jimmy: One sec Janis: sorry Jimmy: What for? Janis: all this nonsense Jimmy: it's nowt Jimmy: be a load of bollocks if you were just sat there in pain when we can sort it piss easy Janis: I can't believe I even hurt myself, it's so stupid Janis: but if she notices, I'll get her better, don't worry, like Jimmy: When she notices, I'll let her know it were 💀👑 don't you worry Janis: maybe she won't, might be emergencies only type of shit Jimmy: doubt she'd be here if it were that bad Jimmy: 💀💀💀 trap that assault course Janis: by the time you get back, I will have curled up in a ball and died, and that's only a self-drag so, don't start Jimmy: What if it's broken? Janis: my ankle? Janis: it ain't, I'm 99% sure Jimmy: that 1% is 💔 Jimmy: be 100% for me, like Janis: alright, I am Janis: there's no way I'd have this much movement still, it was running on it earlier, that's all Jimmy: [we back cos we hurrying, give her that pill and some water and tuck the other one in her pocket for later (always so intimate boy) and put the ice on, then we're just sitting on the floor close as we can so she can have the entirety of the bed which would be Grace's as a correction corner cos I doubt he carried her up the ladder] Janis: [oh yes, soz to kick you out your bed gal, make later even more awkward lols, just hiding your face under the covers 'thank you'] Jimmy: [the softest 'hey' ever as you uncover her face and gently touch it cos you're worried that like she's in so much pain it's making her feel sick or something] Janis: [it is just shame and that should be apparent on her face, such a pitiful pout moment 'I am not this bitch, I swear'] Jimmy: [just brushing his thumb over her bottom lip like no put that away please 'I know' cos they may not know each other but he knows that much thankfully] Janis: ['can you stay, for a bit?'] Jimmy: [makes himself comfy on the floor next to her as a yes] Janis: ['you can get in, just don't literally sit on it and we'll be fine'] Jimmy: [bites his lip in a worried and adorable manner cos wants her to be comfortable but obvs does get in] Janis: ['don't worry, if you come across all rapey, still got both fists and one good leg' but gets comfy on him like, jk, I trust you] Jimmy: [a genuine lil smile cos we still worried but we're also amused and feeling a bit better] Jimmy: ['still got your teeth an' all, well deadly weapon them' always gotta be a bit saucy with it even in times of struggle] Janis: ['that's a different scenario altogether, gotta be nice for that to happen'] Jimmy: [gives her a look like oi cos he has literally been so nice and draws a halo round his head like excuse you] Janis: ['yeah, you have, but not like- you don't wanna' shakes her head and does devil horns on her own] Jimmy: ['I wanna - no you don't even go there sir shut your mouth and change what you were gonna say 'make sure you're alright' like true but] Janis: ['I know' smiles a bit, to reassure him 'these tabs are good so I'll either pass out or have a good time in the hottest of secs so, win-win'] Jimmy: [shakes his head but in an affectionate way] Janis: ['sorry I can't share'] Jimmy: ['You're alright' shrugs 'We've still got Ms Burke's stash to split' lowkey very much the last thing on his mind rn but we're on brand] Janis: ['go get it then' let's not gal full 😈 energy, but actually holding him around the waist so he cannot go anywhere 'cos rather this, we know] Jimmy: [snuggles into her more than he was like shh shh naughty baby 'in a bit' but we're not going anywhere] Janis: [happy sigh] Jimmy: [just being soft and quiet and snuggly] Janis: [go to sleep or you'll get loopy gurl] Jimmy: [both sleeping til Grace bowls in like a loud bitch not realising they are aka a my sister move] Janis: [SHOOKETH] Jimmy: [at least he can ask her how's she feeling because he genuinely wants to know but it's also goals] Janis: [when you say 'so much better thanks to you' 'cos genuinely but then you do the LOOK so  the fake lives on] Jimmy: [just asking her if he can get her anything cos genuinely but giving her a LOOK back in case she wants to take it in saucy direction, for the fakery ofc yep] Janis: [when you get to go 'you' and pull him down for a smooch 'cos excuse, thanks so much lol] Jimmy: [enjoy that lads cos we're all sleepy and in our emotions] Janis: [can't JUST start the show when the other flat whites come in, how unrealistic, no other reason we're snuggling so hard and telling him how good he is] Jimmy: [I like to imagine that Grace is getting ready to fuck off to one of their rooms to leave you to it when they descend because you know Mia knows you've been through her shit but can't prove it] Janis: [you and everyone else sweaty] Jimmy: [literally get over yourself babe, the only room they didn't do were their own, you ain't special and we're 'ignoring' y'all] Janis: [so hard, like not even saying hi 'cos just so injured and so concerned and also so into each other] Jimmy: [as far as y'all are concerned nobody's even there except for Grace cos she was impossible to ignore soz not soz ladies] Jimmy: [also he's ignoring his phone going off cos that full attention ™ would make them die] Janis: [when has a boy ever or when have you ever 'cos don't care about any lad that much we see you two 💀 Jimmy: [Pablo wouldn't and neither would you bitches, do love that it adds to your new boy mystery though Jimothy cos they don't know you're raising your siblings and your dad's a prick] Janis: ['do you need anything?' 'cos not that bitch, again, unlike you two] Jimmy: [shameless excuse for a make out that we're taking, sucks to suck gals] Janis: [when it's lowkey soft but still intense, compared to going the hardest for full effect 'cos that's actually more impactful rn] Jimmy: [I love that even though we know it'd make JJ die more, soz you two] Janis: [having to be all types of vulnerable rn] Jimmy: [#doitforthevine cos again when have any of the flatwhites been vulnerable with anyone] Janis: [try to stay alive] Jimmy: [at least whilst you're dying you're taking them down with you] Janis: ['I can probably get in my bed if you want yours back' 'cos where even are you all, just standing watching, need some privacy here lmao] Jimmy: [Grace would be like it's fine because has been trying to get them all to leave since they got there but nobody's listening lol] Janis: [get in that top bunk anyway 'cos like, not fine, your friends are crazy] Jimmy: [don't worry gal he'll help you] Janis: [at least now you can communicate 'cos can't straight up be peeping that hard, 👍 like ?] Jimmy: [just nods cos we're more worried about her ankle and checking on that not because this is such an intense situation rn nope nope] Janis: '[it's really fine now!' in the like OMG, you're SO precious tone they would use but also tryna be like actually though] Jimmy: [making her comfy af anyway because you're that kind of boy] Janis: ['get comfy with me'] Jimmy: [does and does a really loud happy sigh that we'll never know if it's real or fake] Janis: [saying sorry that he has to stay in with her and asking if he's so bored then loud whispering all the ways she gon' make it up to him] Jimmy: [saying back that he could never be bored with her and he wants to stay even though they're all here because true and kindly take the hint that you aren't taking from Grace ladies] Janis: [honestly, what do you want, you have two other rooms you could be in, it's so blatant lol] Jimmy: [maybe all his loud whispering about what he's gonna do to take care of her, in the sauciest manner he could ever mean that will make you leave but unlikely, we know Grace and Hollie are doing the most to be like LET'S GO but] Janis: [the lookiest of LOOKS honey, 'what are we waiting for then?' loud enough to be a warning like bitches go] Jimmy: [he's taking clothes off of her rn so you better leave there's another warning] Janis: [bra on your head or something equally as comical] Jimmy: [Grace is going so you've literally got no excuse to stay now Mia but you do have an excuse to sleep with that boy that Grace was flirting with cos you so mad] Janis: [sorry bra head] Jimmy: [I love ruining her life so much it gives me life, I also love that JJ are shamelessly gonna carry on for a bit just in case they come back cos of forgetting something cos actually wouldn't put that past Mia or Ella tbh] Janis: [very dedicated] Jimmy: [mhmm not at all that you really wanna do everything you said you were gonna do] Janis: [mhmmmmmmmmmmmm, not at all awkward when you have to stop 'cos realistically they gone] Jimmy: [at least you can finally check what was popping off on your phone in case Cass or Bobby need you] Janis: [yes, a must, as per you just kinda stuck but esp. with your ankle so just relish in that awkward] Jimmy: [I'm gonna say he has to facetime him cos they'd be signing anyway so all the secrets are safe] Jimmy: [but checking on the bae throughout like do you need me to get you anything because that bitch] Janis: [v handy actually, just watching but not in a creepy way just interested] Jimmy: [casually gonna be the longest phone call ever as poor Bobby misses him] Janis: [poor bobert, hop down for a wee or something gal give some space] Jimmy: [you know he's gonna help you automatically even if you could actually hop over] Janis: [taking a shower just to kill time, even though he's probably gonna be #concerned ] Jimmy: [he's gonna be 😒 at you gal] Janis: [hohaha] Jimmy: [don't actually slip over or anything though that's the last thing we need] Janis: [being careful if you aren't gonna come in and reprimand us it fine] Jimmy: [I wish you would boy but that's risky for other reasons] Janis: [we know, not that shameless or bold quite yet] Jimmy: [one day kids] Janis: [are shameless enough to come out in your towel like bonjour] Jimmy: [cue his grumpiness cos 1. #concerned 2. we know what she looks like] Janis: ['what?' like you kinda know but you know, play like you truly don't have a clue] Jimmy: ['what do you mean what?' he's fuming] Janis: ['I felt gross' bit rude like 'cos YOU'VE been all over me but probably groggy from the meds and just spending more time than you ever in a bed 'it's fine'] Jimmy: [😒 af because we've jumped to the conclusion that she is saying because of him and also he hates all that it's fine bollocks] Janis: ['come on' throwing her hair towel thing at him once she's done drying it 'I didn't fall'] Jimmy: [throws it back at her a little bit too hard cos we know the 3. I didn't write is that the fam stuff has also got to him, cos Ian is the worst] Janis: [is honestly like oh! but we dropping it with a shrug 'cos clearly about more than you, you aren't that bitch either, just carrying on getting PJs on etc like alright] Jimmy: [go to get her some water to give her some privacy to put clothes on and also to give her as a peace offering] Janis: [just like tah with a head nod] Jimmy: [he's going to the window to 🚬 cos can't leave in case someone sees him] Janis: ['how long did we nap?' literally no concept 'cos never sleeps that well tbh] Jimmy: ['just for a bit' cos realistically wouldn't have been an age 'go back to sleep if you want'] Janis: [shrugs like 'could do' 'cos lowkey evenings on school trips are this awkward like what we gonna do] Jimmy: [just smoking in silence in case she does wanna but then after a while is suddenly like 'come here' cos sees Mia going into that lad's room but doesn't know who's it is] Janis: [does and is 😏 and already tryna do a zoom shot but misses 'come on then' 'cos gotta be nosy and life ruin] Jimmy: [gets his hoodie which is now hers and puts it on for her first including a zip up moment because she only has pjs on and he doesn't want her to be cold] Janis: ['A*' 'cos all part of the performance obvs] Jimmy: [we just shrugging cos we got places to be spying, 100% has also set a timer to see how long she's in there for that shade though] Janis: [lmao, this poor random boy 'I reckon this is his first time, you know'] Jimmy: [visibly cringing cos imagine your first time being with Mia, it'd be bad enough sleeping with her any time] Janis: [nods like mhmm, 'cos on some level you think he's JUST cringing about first times] Jimmy: [when he probably would think about his first time with the ex and cringe some more] Janis: [pushing him like 'focus' as if this is v v serious sleuthing] Jimmy: [pushes her back like oi because always, unrelated kinda but I think we should say it starts raining for that #mood] Janis: [love rain baby] Jimmy: [puts her hood up for her as a shameless excuse to touch her hair] Janis: [when it's still damp from the shower so this makes you smile like okay boy] Jimmy: [smiling back automatically and it's a cute lil moment ™] Janis: [messing up his hair 'cos likewise] Jimmy: [we falling in love again, quick boy gather what evidence you can without having to witness anything gross] Janis: [or being seen by miss thang, not stalking you in return tah] Jimmy: [she wishes, oh snap though what if Mr Lucas sees them] Janis: [JJ or Mia and poor boy? Jimmy: [JJ because he hates them and it amuses me like why you lurking in the rain sir] Janis: [how sinister, absolutely] Jimmy: [we'll let you finish your mission first, he don't need to interrupt that] Janis: [but a good reason to separate you again] Janis: I've got an 💡 Jimmy: but is it🥇? Janis: some would even say 🔥 Jimmy: Go on Janis: what if we repurpose the website we made for the computer project Janis: upload the 📸 and 📹s Jimmy: Alright Janis: it's a good idea Janis: I don't mean now, I mean when she really deserves it Jimmy: you don't reckon she deserves it now? Janis: she always does, obvs Janis: but she can do worse Janis: and we can probably get more RECEIPTS to make it more 🔥 Jimmy: and you'll get a bigger 🏆 off me Janis: priorities Jimmy: that's your top one, yeah Janis: idk if that's even my fake top priority Jimmy: Oi, don't protest too much, girl Jimmy: you'll bring Bill's 👻 out Janis: don't threaten me with a good time Jimmy: 👻 can't threaten you with owt Janis: or just moving my shit slightly to one side Janis: throwing a few plates, fucking with the radiowaves Jimmy: I'd only have to get it for you if I did do Jimmy: and grab myself the 🧹 Janis: 1. rude, because it's both your fault that I'm an invalid and your fault that you keep treating me like one 2. stick it up your arse and you'll have two hands free 👌 Jimmy: 1. never said I weren't gonna keep putting the work in, just that there's no need to create loads of extra Jimmy: 2. another 💡🥇 you're on one today, Janet Jimmy: 3. Why's it alright for you to threaten me with a good time? Janis: 1. didn't say that either, you clearly love it so why complain? 2. all I do is 🏆 you need to pay closer attention 3. 'cos I know how to have one, OBVS Jimmy: 1. you reckon this is me putting a complaint in? Bit awkward that 2. when I ain't off the clock I'll be sure to crack on with that and owt else your heart desires, babe 3. You know how to have a 💡🥇 it ain't the same thing Janis: 1. don't have a special form for it or a manager so, now's your only chance 2. 🤮 3. yeah, would know, as I have 'em both Jimmy: Keep on and I might take it Jimmy: but as things go, I told you 😒 just my face Janis: love it, I already told you I know Janis: say no more Jimmy: 🤐 Janis: 🤤 Janis: genuine Jimmy: 💕 Jimmy: fake Janis: 👍 for clearing that up Jimmy: 👍 for not having genuine 💔 about it Janis: 🙄 imagine Jimmy: you're alright, tah Jimmy: don't need any nightmare #inspo Janis: 🎻 Janis: it'd be your privilege Jimmy: would be 😭🎻🗭😱 that were what I just said Jimmy: it's my privilege to be off the clock for a bit Janis: sound like an old lag Janis: enjoy your freedom Jimmy: that'll be 'cause I am Jimmy: Helena's 💊 wore off yet or what? Janis: what you saying? Jimmy: you heard me say it Jimmy: are you alright or what? Janis: you're bad at taking a break Jimmy: It's pissing it down, it'd put my 🚬 out Jimmy: you might as well answer me Janis: not all breaks last 15 minutes and include two 🚬s, you know Janis: do anything your 💘 desires Jimmy: sounds fake, that Jimmy: and my 💘 desires your answer, dickhead Janis: I'm alright Janis: felt better earlier, obviously Janis: but not taking no more from her Jimmy: have a drink then, I left it there Janis: want me to roll it down after? Jimmy: it might float away Jimmy: keep it for now Janis: 👍 more for me Jimmy: Oi Janis: yes? Jimmy: leave my share alone, pisshead Janis: well demanding Jimmy: how'd you work that out? Janis: don't you want me to manage my pain? Jimmy: it were my idea Janis: exactly, now you're being stingy Janis: Ms Burke knows how much you need to really take the edge off Jimmy: half'll get the job done, lightweight like you Janis: not even true Jimmy: you're not alright then Janis: I meant I'm not a lightweight Jimmy: and I meant, it's a bigger edge that you're telling me if you need owt more than your half to see it off Jimmy: *than Janis: Only taking the piss Janis: I'll save your half Jimmy: are you? Janis: Alright ✔ taking the piss ✔ Janis: be all good by the time we leave, I reckon Jimmy: 👌 Janis: are you Janis: was on the phone ages earlier Jimmy: Alright ✔ taking the piss ❌ Jimmy: didn't realise you had a ⏲ going Janis: no need Janis: escaped and had a shower, 'nuff said Jimmy: you do take ages Janis: fuck off Janis: got a lot of hair, ain't I Jimmy: taking the piss ✔ Jimmy: you're alright, reckon my ex's 🚿⏲ could give Gracie a run for her 💰 Janis: probably 😭 in there then Jimmy: 💔 she can't fit the full orchestra in Janis: have to be minted for that Janis: how big does a bathroom have to be, anything more than a box with a bog in is a flex Jimmy: bet 💀👑's is MASSIVE Janis: which one? 💁 Jimmy: her personal one, duh Janis: play 🎾 whilst you 💩 Jimmy: play ♟ with human sized pieces while you 🤮 Janis: human pieces if you could get the bloody staff 😤 Jimmy: 😏 Janis: some dystopian shit that Jimmy: she looks like she's crawled out of a warzone or some bollocks Janis: very zombie Janis: NEVER eat all those 🧠 though, zombie on a diet Jimmy: cancer ward would do an' all but she'd be about the pity too much for me to sign off on that one Janis: ugh, she'd be infuriating if she had a terminal illness Jimmy: she has Jimmy: and it's spread to 💀#2 Janis: nah Janis: well part-time Jimmy: obvs, rich girls ain't got no need to do owt full time Janis: 'cept be a mummy, when the time is right Jimmy: nah, that's part time an' all if you can get the staff Jimmy: and keep your husband away from 'em Janis: face like 💀? good luck Janis: poor nanny would only have to look vaguely human Jimmy: she won't keep a lad long enough to 💍👰 Jimmy: have to 💰👶 Janis: wouldn't put fuck all past her Janis: 💰🤵 Janis: why not Jimmy: 🛏⛓🦶🏻🪓 Jimmy: bit weird how it came back round Janis: 🛑 to 🤐? Jimmy: nowt weird about that Janis: it is your kink Jimmy: it were you who were genuinely 🤤 about me shutting up a bit ago Janis: and it was you that 🛏⛓ Janis: phase one almost complete Jimmy: if it were, you wouldn't be pissing about going for 🚿s Janis: well soz I got away Jimmy: me an' all, obvs Janis: 💔 Jimmy: 🎻🎻 Janis: If you think of a kink that don't involve 🛏 you can hmu Jimmy: 🤯 Jimmy: I've got nowt else to offer you, soz Janis: damn Janis: guess I'll be taking loads of 🚿s Jimmy: don't give me a bell when you twist your other ankle then Janis: 🥺 Janis: what if Ben ain't as good at fetching me things Jimmy: that'll mean you ain't as good a trainer as you reckon Jimmy: but go on and give him them 👀 Janis: you're right Janis: that's ridiculous Janis: obviously I'm 🥇 Jimmy: There you go then Janis: it's been fake Janis: gotta dash Jimmy: 👍 Janis: I know, the 💔 is real Jimmy: I can't 😭 if you keep on Janis: performance anxiety Janis: cute Jimmy: piss off Jimmy: it's gonna take you ages to dash anywhere, you better crack on Janis: rude Janis: I'm great at 🦩 Jimmy: you are always 😳 Janis: *never Jimmy: never @ Ben Jimmy: you've got that right Janis: if Ben asked me to fake it an' all, I could Jimmy: duh Jimmy: nowt you wouldn't do for that lad Janis: not fake anal Janis: need to save something for the fake honeymoon, tah Jimmy: You're alright, it don't count for you god fearing paddys Janis: that's Ben's line Janis: not my pimp Jimmy: be knackering, well in demand, you Janis: thanks? Jimmy: I'll leave you to it then, mate Janis: night Jimmy: in a bit Janis: left your hoodie on your door Jimmy: it's yours Janis: it's not though Jimmy: is til we're done Jimmy: so unless you're 💔 me for Ben tonight, have it back Janis: I'll give it back tomorrow Janis: got plenty of hoodies that could be yours at home Jimmy: 👌 Janis: oh Janis: and I left the bottle Janis: grab that 'fore Ms Burke sniffs it back out Jimmy: you need a hand back? Janis: depends Jimmy: ? Janis: where that hand is taking me Jimmy: Depends Janis: I'm not getting back in fucking bed Janis: I'll get sores Jimmy: I'll flip you over Jimmy: 💪 me Jimmy: and I've got that 👻 rep to keep Janis: steady Janis: 😏 Janis: not gonna start a new rep being one of those lonely women who has paranormal orgasms Jimmy: I get it, no threat of a good time Jimmy: where do you wanna go then? Janis: mhmm Janis: after I ❌ out 🍑 stuff and everything, still tryna see it from the back Janis: I dunno, there has to be something less deadly than the assault course Janis: the lake? Jimmy: Alright Janis: I'm gonna go mental if I don't get out Jimmy: I said alright Jimmy: hang on Janis: finish whatever's keeping you busy Jimmy: [appears like a 👻] Janis: [faux 😱 for the horror movie moment] Jimmy: [passes her the bottle he's just taken a swig from automatically] Janis: [raises a brow 'cos had her half, clearly, but as clearly does not turn it down] Jimmy: [picks her up obviously] Janis: ['you know it's a way down there-' gestures in the general direction '-yeah?'] Jimmy: ['that'll be why you need carrying' cos he's like stop walking about ffs, such a worrier] Janis: [tuts 'go halves with you on that tab tomorrow at this rate, boy'] Jimmy: [such an OTT fake offended face to hide that he actually is] Janis: [pinches his cheeks and his biceps 'n'awh, you're good, just saying, don't try to come for me for your physio'] Jimmy: [pretends that he's gonna drop her cos she's messing about like don't come to me for yours] Janis: ['I'll drag you down with me' looking at the muddy ground and looking at him like, game if you are] Jimmy: [SUCH a LOOK] Janis: ['think of the photo op' trying to sound casual but not] Jimmy: [puts her down and gets his phone out, giving her the same kind of impress me then look that she gave him earlier when he broke into the teacher's rooms] Janis: [gets down, with however much difficulty, on her knees, then gets back up with the same and points at the mud like, see what I'm saying here, 'cos in PJs so lot of skin we could cover] Jimmy: [just looking at her like don't hurt yourself babe] Janis: [😒 'come on'] Jimmy: [comes over and smears mud on her 😒 face and you know it's meant to be in a pisstakey manner but it's just saucy] Janis: [gets her phone out so she can film the kiss she gives him to get that mud on his face] Jimmy: [not at all casual makeout sesh enusing] Janis: [pulling him down in the mud like you said you would] Jimmy: [so #into it whenever and wherever we know] Janis: [again, these pics such an after-thought immediately] Jimmy: [still gonna pull you into his lap though as an excuse to keep you in frame, no other reason at all] Janis: ['you like me here, yeah?' under the vague pretense we 📹 as per] Jimmy: [when you just nod because even though we're 'filming' you don't trust yourself not to say something you shouldn't] Janis: [shifts somehow closer so they're fully pressed together 'what about here?'] Jimmy: [a NOISE because it's the perfect answer for this 📹 but also real af] Janis: [a noise in return 'you're so fucking-'] Jimmy: ['you' and kissing her really hard before she can dispute it] Janis: [bye phone tbh] Jimmy: [you did better at pretending than I thought you would lads tbh] Janis: [well done for even bothering babe] Jimmy: [literally] Janis: [wouldn't have if you had a clue what he was thinking ever but there we go, as is the fake dating era of it all] Jimmy: [it's very much the same for him if it's any consolation gal] Janis: [it ain't for her but it is for us lmao] Jimmy: [we love it soz not soz] Janis: [this is v cinematic] Jimmy: [at least you'll have to get in the lake to get all this mud off so that'll be a #mood too] Janis: [don't get hypothermia though pls] Jimmy: [god it would be so cold I can't even imagine] Janis: [gonna need to snuggle it's the law] Jimmy: [yaaaas, can and will send him back for a duvet if necessary too] Janis: [your school is never being allowed back 'cos of you two lmao] Jimmy: [you're welcome kids of the future who won't have to do all this bollocks] Janis: [tbh] Jimmy: [gonna vote for more rain when they in the lake to make it even more cinematic] Janis: [hundo] Jimmy: [what a beautiful evening] Janis: [we out here in a romcom in all the ways] Jimmy: [mhmmm] Janis: [how we keeping this PG-13 bois] Jimmy: [realistically we might have to give you something else to pretend didn't happen lol] Janis: [mhmm agreed] Jimmy: [no stopping that mud moment if we're being real] Janis: [s'what I'm thinking] Jimmy: [what happens on this trip stays on this trip so we'll allow it] Janis: [deal with that later] Jimmy: [you lowkey both think there won't be a later and you'll just not have to deal because he's holding onto that false hope of leaving very hard and you aren't planning to string out this fake dating that long regardless] Janis: [imagine if he left lmao, just never seeing this boy you lost your v to like did it even happen] Jimmy: [I will not imagine that because how sad] Janis: [soz that ain't happening boy but not at all] Jimmy: [it all works out in the end, you're both welcome] Janis: [but for now, what are we doing] Jimmy: [you two should probably get some sleep if you ever get warm/stop snuggling post lake] Janis: [are we separating though?] Jimmy: [they'll sleep better if they're together so it depends how mean we wanna be] Janis: [how you vibing lads] Jimmy: [we could make a case for keeping your distance after all that romanticness but also saying fuck it if you've come this far] Janis: [hmmmmmmm, I'm saying she's down to say fuck it, like you don't need to chat about that either if you just do it] Jimmy: [his room or hers] Janis: [we've woke up in her room once so switch it up for that max coverage] Jimmy: [good idea boo] Janis: [crack on] Jimmy: [have your spoon and get some sleep, you must be knackered]

Janis & Grace

Janis: what are you up to rn Grace: UM why? Janis: 'cos we can't find Cass and can't take the kid on the decent rides, will you just stand with him for a minute Grace: oh Grace: yeah sure Janis: cheers Janis: give you some cash, he likes the easy shit Grace: OMG don't even mention it Grace: or like worry about it cos I'm not trying to break a nail rn Janis: you've gotta entertain him somehow Grace: Duh Grace: but that's not with waltzers and rollercoasters babes Janis: I've just said he can't come with Janis: we're talking coconut shy level, Grace Grace: & I'm saying I know what I'm doing Janis: well don't fuck it up please Janis: call if he gets too worked up he's shy Grace: obvs! just go Janis: it's serious Janis: and you haven't said where you are Grace: I'm being serious Grace: I'll meet you at the sweet stand Janis: 👍 Grace: 👌👌👌 Grace: [shows up with a very unimpressed lad in tow] Janis: [just such a withering look like who the fuck are you] Grace: [does not intro him and is just intro-ing herself to Bobby and it's cute] Janis: [just in the background letting Jimmy do what he need to do but lowkey trying to walk away like bye] Grace: [it's fine girl we know Grace has got this] Janis: [ahh when you can't stand to be around her for literally five seconds] Grace: [me when Trace is on one] Janis: [go have fun] Grace: is he allowed any more 🍬🍩🍭??? Grace: he says he's had NONE but I know when a boy is feeding me a line 😂 Janis: try and make him have a hot dog or some chips first Janis: if not he'll be 🤢 Grace: me too tbh Janis: such a good influence, like Grace: I'm sorry that my date is a feeder or something 😱😱😱 Grace: does not take no for an answer Janis: bodes well Grace: UGH IKR 🙄🙄🙄 Grace: he's in a mood cos I got 💋 on him earlier like ?? excuse me Grace: I don't have my own makeup line yet, boy Janis: it is grim when you've used a cup Janis: like a crime scene Grace: OMG don't be on his side! Grace: he wouldn't be complaining if it was anywhere but his face Janis: behave Janis: shits probably harder to wash off that herpes Grace: EW Janis: you said it Grace: I literally did not Janis: you did Janis: don't need to hear about you lipsing anyone Grace: Okay hun that makes no sense Grace: if it had staying power it wouldn't have transferred and he wouldn't be 😣😣😣 Grace: & I wouldn't have to go hard on 🍬🍩🍭 to show him my chill vibe or whatever Grace: so #notlikeothergirls & so annoying Janis: what's any of that got to do with me Grace: 🙄🙄 Janis: you talk for the sake of it Janis: talk to your shit date, not me Grace: sure Grace: laters, babes Janis: 👍 Grace: 👋 Janis: [later than you were probably expecting, like] Janis: k where are you Grace: bumper cars Grace: there's a line but we're basically at the front of it now 🙏🙏 Janis: cool we'll jump it Grace: you can take my place, these are NOT driving shoes Janis: babe, you just steer Grace: really!?? Janis: yes 😂 Janis: how do you not know that Grace: Oh thank god! Grace: idk I've never been on them Janis: how is that possible Janis: maybe you should go in with your lad, let Jim take Bobs Grace: Before this date I haven't been to the fair since I was younger than Bobby so Grace: Oh please, he's long gone Grace: Your boy can if he wants to though, that'd be cute Janis: sure, too many sights and smells, can't control her gag reflex when she's abused it that hard Janis: oh, soz Grace: 🙄🙄 not everything I do is with Mia, thank you Grace: & no you're not, babes Janis: pretty much since you were a bit older than him, maybe Janis: well not really but can't blame him Janis: didn't reckon on you bringing a child so Grace: do you see her rn? obvs not Grace: 🤷🤷 if he wants to say that's the reason Janis: can't really bring your missus on a date Janis: got to have some boundaries Grace: can you STOP Janis: what Janis: I said soz, make Jimmy buy you a drink or something Grace: I don't want a drink Grace: I'm gonna have to work out tomorrow Janis: well can you not just take it Janis: you don't need paying but he'll wanna do something so Grace: He knows my coffee order Grace: I'll make time to go Janis: k good Grace: He's a cute kid, I don't even need anything Janis: that just makes you sound like a child snatcher so keep that hush Grace: you're ridiculous Janis: am i Grace: Duh Janis: 👌 Grace: Whatever, I've said my goodbyes so 👋 too Janis: cheers Janis: later Grace: Any message for mum and dad? Janis: lol that's a good idea Grace: I obvs meant about where you'll be or when you'll be back Grace: but 👌👌👌 Janis: that's even stupider then, ain't it Grace: mhmm Grace: my bad, hun Janis: don't mention it Janis: not the easiest mistake to make but 🤷🤷 Grace: 🤷🤷🤷🤷 Grace: I'm so over it Grace: you too, I'm sure Janis: if they're still acting like they don't have answers to either of those questions, I can imagine Janis: could always repurpose my message for yourself Grace: if I wasn't going straight home but tragically Janis: what difference does that make Janis: can still tell them to fuck off Grace: not before dad picks me up thanks Grace: it's not like that boy will be doing a U turn now I'm Bobby free Janis: lol no way he was 17 Janis: looked 12 Janis: and he still would, he's a fucking pushover Grace: he's 19 Janis: so a nonce Janis: cool Grace: You're literally OBSESSED Grace: first I'm a child snatcher then he is Janis: that's literally the definition Janis: you're a child, he ain't, what do you want me to do Janis: didn't work anyways and even if it did, no one's throwing 😍 at it Grace: If you wanna report him, go off Janis: yeah I'll ruin some sad cunts life 'cos you're out here trying to prove something Grace: ???????!!!!!!! Grace: he asked me out, I agreed, it's not a big deal Janis: mhmm Janis: swear guv Grace: OMG SHUT UP Janis: sort it out for fuck's sake Grace: I didn't know he was that old! You literally just said yourself he doesn't look it Janis: don't incriminate yourself Janis: not illegal but just as weird if you're tryna fuck 12 year olds Grace: gross Janis: you said it Grace: No Janis: definitely did Grace: Leave me alone Janis: ooh alright Janis: touchy Grace: OMG why can't you ever stop? Janis: pot kettle Janis: why are you being so sensitive Grace: Why are you still talking to me? Janis: 'cos what's wrong with you Grace: yeah cos I'm gonna tell you Janis: why do you care Janis: you got what you wanted from him anyway Grace: What does that even mean? Grace: you have no idea what I want or wanted Janis: you wish Grace: obvs you do, but I really don't Grace: I'm wishing you'd go away thanks Janis: yeah, can't you tell how much I wanted to see you Janis: good catch up babes Grace: 😂😂😂 Janis: about right Grace: sure Grace: see you at school, like Grace: Spanish is first lesson back Janis: maybe Grace: 💔 Janis: isn't it just Grace: next time you steal a car is fine too Janis: next time it won't be nans so 🤞 no Grace: just don't look up my bad date, his wouldn't get you a mile out of Dublin Janis: got standards, darling Grace: I know, babes Grace: everybody does Grace: You can only wish for secrets Janis: can give the daily vlog a miss then Janis: phew Janis: love it when they put the work in for me Grace: mine's postponed cos I don't film little kids but there's plenty of other content THANK GOD Janis: 💔 should've thought of that before agreeing to go out with one really Janis: not very committed Janis: I'll 🙌 to that Grace: 👌👌👌 Janis: n'awh Janis: say hi to the gals from me Grace: I'd love to but there's been a disconnect Grace: I'll say it to my ex instead, he just got here Janis: less impressive than the 19 year old Janis: forgetting your audience Janis: they'll probably go for it though THANK GOD 👍 Grace: You're forgetting I only need a ride Janis: that's low, man Grace: If you wanna console him, he'll be free later Janis: you know something's gonna happen to you one day yeah Grace: I know you've got your 🤞 Janis: get a grip Grace: obvs the plan Grace: I'll make sure he's parked first tho, wouldn't wanna cause a crash Janis: unlikely Grace: not really Janis: if anyone bought you were a decent ride you wouldn't have to rely on your ex Grace: if I wasn't he wouldn't be back Janis: he's back 'cos your price is a ride Janis: you know it's not even a fiver in petrol Janis: literally the eastern euro girls on the street aren't as cheap Grace: wow Grace: so judgemental Janis: you're dirty Janis: it's disgusting, judgment from me is the least of your worries Grace: Yeah it honestly is Grace: & I'm sure you have better things to do so Janis: yeah talking to mum and dad for a start Grace: cute Grace: say hey from me Janis: you reckon I won't Janis: got no loyalty to you Janis: be more than a hey if they can manage to do even a semi-competent job Grace: I don't care if you do or whatever else you do Janis: Don't need you to Janis: be out of your hands, like Grace: sure Grace: they'll really show up for whatever slut intervention you think is about to happen Janis: you don't reckon Janis: you're delusional if you don't Grace: you are Grace: where's it been, babes? Janis: you're putting yourself in danger Grace: Me and how many of the rest of us Janis: you're stupid, Rio at least has some brains Janis: marginally more self-esteem Janis: born victim, you, trust me, they're gonna get on board Grace: nobody's more devastated than me that I'm not more like Rio, obvs Grace: except maybe dad Grace: 💔 there's not 10 of her Janis: no one cares what he wants Janis: irrelevant beyond being a sperm donor Janis: enjoy your chat 💕 Grace: 💜💜💜 Janis: 😂 Grace: it will be amusing if it happens Grace: I'll keep you a front row seat, hun Janis: don't worry Janis: buzzin' I care, so far in my DMs Janis: must be gutting when you're the only one that does and you get no recognition for it Grace: 😭😭🙄🙄 Janis: that's alright, sure your ex will take you back and console you Janis: epic shag and all around winner that he sees you as 😍 Grace: if he won't, I'll try one of the others Janis: always the shameful hookup when you've run out of lotion, never the girlfriend Grace: mhmm Janis: love that for you Janis: just get her in to help you with your prices Grace: 😂😂😂 Grace: she is good at maths Janis: is she Grace: oh of course she's never helped you with your homework Grace: my bad again, babes Janis: not what she's remembered for is it Janis: being the whore who married her cousin is really all that comes to mind but that's almost sweet Janis: pop it in the eulogy, lovely Grace: if you'll excuse me, I have to make some conversation with this boy Grace: such a good chat tho Janis: not what he's paying for Janis: so don't worry about not being a decent conversationalist Grace: tragically telling him that wouldn't get me where I wanna go so Janis: the tragic thing is you think you're too good for the bus when you're literally selling yourself Janis: wonder how many times this one told you you talk too much? 🤔 Grace: Oh please Grace: & I'm the extra one Grace: everything's a drama tonight, hun Janis: don't act as if you don't understand Janis: he would only pick you up so you blow him Janis: you aren't friends, they don't care about you or even respect you Janis: it's as simple as that Janis: and you're not even trying to get out, you're going home, half an hour away Janis: it's actually the saddest thing I've ever heard Grace: not anymore obvs Grace: why would I go home for the lecture? Janis: because you've got no balls and nowhere to go Janis: fucking hell I hope they pay for a decent shrink, seriously Grace: Thanks to you I've got nowhere to go Janis: go home Janis: sort yourself out Grace: I'll take the party he's offering but thanks again Janis: that's right Janis: get off your face then it ain't your fault Grace: It'll be my fault but I won't care Grace: you always tell me not to so congrats, finally taking that advice Janis: you'll be crying on a stranger's bathroom floor within the hour Janis: you ain't built for it, so tah for the guilt trip but i ain't biting Grace: I love that you've given me that long tbh Janis: got to earn his time and attention and petrol first Grace: Oh honey, I could do that crying Janis: wanna turn your phone off Janis: they'll be out looking now Grace: I would but if it's not on my snap it didn't happen, don't need to tell you tho Janis: your locations on Janis: they aren't that thick Grace: What do you care? You want them to find me Janis: you mean you do Janis: christ Grace: You think you know everything about me Grace: where does the delusion even come from? Janis: you think no one does Janis: let's unpack that one Grace: no-one does know everything Grace: they can't Janis: someone needs to take your netflix away too whilst they're at it Janis: fucking hell Janis: we aren't 13, even then that shit was embarrassing Janis: now it's well Janis: get yourself on the corner with your bessies level Grace: Whatever Janis: you really thought that was a revelation Janis: put it as your next caption, get those kids clicking ❤ Grace: 👌👌👌 Janis: this is what comes of letting stoners breed, jesus Janis: experiment over Grace: we all wish it was Grace: at least they've stopped now Janis: no need to wish Grace: not gonna jump out of this moving car, however much you'd love that Janis: i know Janis: no balls Grace: 💔 Janis: answer your phone yeah Grace: As if Janis: for fuck's sake, Grace Grace: I don't need to hear mum chatting to me like I'm Carly or Edie Grace: or dad telling me that he still loves me Janis: well then, think that it's not about what you need, I don't care Janis: just do it Grace: I literally just said no Janis: I literally don't care Grace: So get out of my inbox Janis: answer your phone and I will Grace: I'd actually rather kms than answer that phone call in front of this boy Grace: it's not happening, go away Janis: no Janis: answer the phone Grace: no Janis: do it Janis: stop being selfish Grace: 😂😂😂 Grace: coming from you Janis: and? Grace: it's just hilarious that you think you can make me do anything Janis: 😂😂😂 Janis: answer the phone Grace: no Janis: do it Janis: he doesn't like you anyway so don't act like that's an excuse Grace: It's not about him Grace: he answered the fastest Janis: then talk to mum and dad Grace: I've nothing to say & like I said I don't wanna hear what they are going to Grace: no thanks Janis: No one cares Janis: pick up the phone and get it over with then Grace: 🙄🙄🙄 Janis: exactly Grace: I'll do it when I'm drunk obvs, there'll be no stopping me then Janis: why not now Grace: I'm busy, like Janis: no you ain't Grace: excuse you Grace: the fact this makeup has no staying power was literally the opener of this convo Janis: and what Grace: & he'd kick me out of the car if he saw me without any Grace: duh Janis: again Janis: so Janis: that's the point Grace: your point, babes Grace: mine was that I wanna be here Janis: no, yours was you need a lift Janis: which you don't now so get out Grace: no, it was that I don't wanna go home thanks Janis: no one does but you have to Grace: Why do I? Grace: I literally don't Janis: yeah you do, you aren't being safe or smart Grace: &? Grace: it's been forever since I was either Janis: exactly Janis: so go home Grace: Why now? Janis: its pretty obvious Grace: No Grace: it would've been obvs if someone had said something at my 13th birthday party when I went further than anyone during 7 mins in heaven cos Connor O'Malley said he really liked me and he wanted my birthday to be special for a good reason again Grace: or when I hooked up with his best friend like a week later cos he lied Grace: You don't care, you've never cared Grace: don't tell me what to do now Janis: yeah, your birthday Janis: and you reckon you got it bad it could've been worse if I hadn't bothered saying anything Janis: you think i'm going to pick up your slack and be 2nd to you Janis: for what Grace: OMG you're just like Mia, putting yourself in the centre of everything Grace: I've never thought that or wanted it Grace: 2nd to me!? I'm not that fucking delusional Janis: how dare I remind you its my birthday and all Janis: bullshit, Grace Grace: That wasn't the point Grace: I'm trying to tell you, it's too little, too late Janis: that's it Janis: that's your problem is it Janis: poor you Janis: get a grip, you and every other girl at school Janis: fucking hell, edie died Grace: Get a clue Grace: this is why I can't talk to you Janis: not trying to talk to you Janis: go home Janis: I'm not there Grace: Even Diego's out so like I said, why should or would I? Janis: because you wanna be Grace: You're actually not on the same planet, I s2g Janis: that heart to heart you're trying to have Janis: they're the only ones that'll listen Janis: so go Grace: They won't Janis: bollocks Janis: all they do Grace: You go Grace: do whatever it is you want Grace: I'm good Janis: no you're not Grace: obvs but as good as I can be 🍾🎊 so 👋 Janis: no Janis: I've told you Grace: Go off, I'll mute you when it gets boring Janis: no you won't Grace: ILYSM but even so Janis: you won't so save us both the hassle Grace: you'll be hassled by drunk me, babes Grace: she'll be living her best life Janis: no one believes that Janis: and you think I wasn't bored before this began Janis: difference between us is I do give a shit Grace: of course I don't think that, we OBVS know each other so well Janis: hurry up Grace: 💃💃 Janis: hilarious Janis: don't reckon I won't show up and bring them with either Janis: get your head out your arse and make it easy for yourself before I make it worse Grace: that's your fave thing tho Grace: it'd be so mean Janis: not stopped you before Janis: go on Grace: drunken portuguese is some drinks off but sure dad's waiting by the phone so Janis: can't even remember any so Janis: what do I care, you're talking to them Grace: this is so annoying now Grace: you're putting me off Janis: now Janis: you are slow Janis: come on Grace: shhhhhhhhhhhhh Janis: no Janis: [rings her all the times] Grace: 🙌💜 Janis: picked you up yet Grace: 😂😂😂 Grace: they're slow too, hello Grace: I've been saying that this entire time Janis: told them where you are or what Grace: mhmmm just gonna send them the location so they can hang Janis: do it then Grace: I 👏 AM 👏 BUSY Janis: no, you aren't Grace: Oooh this boy says he knows you Grace: very ginger, very aggressive 👋 Janis: okay Janis: that's nice Janis: off you pop Grace: he is not cute, babes Janis: what a tragedy Janis: start dialling or I'm gonna come over Grace: No you're not Grace: you never wanna be where I am Grace: & neither does your actually cute bf Janis: correct Janis: that's not what it's about so do it Grace: Just let me have a night off OMG!!!!!!!!! Grace: you get to do everything you want Janis: so Janis: you aren't me and you don't know what you want Janis: sort it out Grace: yeah okay I'll figure all that out in the AM Janis: no, you won't Janis: we're coming so you can think about it all you like once they're done Grace: STOP Janis: why should I Grace: cos I'm asking you to Grace: cos you're my sister & you don't even love me Janis: so you think you can just say and do all that fucked up shit and I'm not gonna stop you Janis: I don't think so Grace: What do you what me to say or do? Janis: I've been clear, call mum and dad and get them to come get you Grace: & after that?? Grace: Why do you want me to be all alone like?????? Janis: they're going to talk to you, work something out Grace: they're gonna talk at me and we'll all 😭😭 & nothing will be any different literally Grace: not drunk enough for that yet soooooo Janis: try listening yeah Grace: they're the MOST cringe though 😱😱😱 Janis: then you should agree Grace: 😂😂 okay bitch Janis: mhm Janis: they're waiting, like Grace: UGH Janis: yeah Janis: they've said they'll text so I'm not going Grace: What did you say? Janis: why? Grace: cos I wanna know how bad the freakout will be Grace: what did you say about me? Janis: what you said Janis: no need to lie, you gave it all up Grace: so you just told them everything Janis: all the relevant info, yeah Grace: I literally can't go home EVER Janis: yeah you can Grace: How could you do that to me!?? OMG Janis: how could I not Janis: not cosigning on that shit Grace: cos it's none of their business what I do Grace: or yours but at least you're not like OLD Janis: you're their kid, that's literally all their business is Grace: So are you! You don't let them tell you anything Janis: they're still meant to try Janis: and they do Grace: I hate this Janis: good Janis: you're not totally crazy then Grace: can't you come instead? Grace: I'd take Rio over them rn Janis: probably don't Janis: when she have her last kid, probably hormonal Janis: well I ain't got a car and we know how you feel about me stealing one but I can come Grace: IOU 💜 Grace: screenshot that in case I'm more drunk than I think I am Janis: you're always more drunk than you think you are Janis: forget about it, like Grace: me or like everyone? Grace: 🤔🤔🤔 Janis: you, specifically but yeah Janis: most in general Grace: my ex isn't if you wanna fight him Grace: cos you wanna fight most people Janis: which one Grace: this one Grace: oh you mean how many hookups ago duh Janis: i mean name, any other identifiers, even then, unlikely i'll remember Grace: Tyler Grace: he's not white that helps him stand out in my exes line up Grace: hmmm Grace: short and mad about it? Grace: that's his identifier with me but shhh Janis: 😂 Janis: oh right, can recall that one then Grace: he does NOT like you, babes Grace: too tall obvs Janis: 💔 Janis: gutted, obvs Janis: his 👀 are chest height and everything, that I remember Grace: IKR?! Grace: he was so 😣😣😣 cos I had my 👠s on Grace: boy they weren't for you! I'm SORRY Janis: probably gonna wanna steal some shoes if you're coming with me though Grace: ??? Janis: 👟 Janis: you'll be like a  baby 🦒 on ice Grace: are we walking all the way home? Janis: depends Janis: send us your location and I'll see what I can do Grace: [does] Janis: we could walk that Janis: but we can get a bus like 10 minutes from there if you need Grace: Today has been the literal WORST from the moment I agreed to the fair idc Janis: that means no complaints then yeah Grace: can I do them now cos I've been so excited to go out with him since I met him and then FINALLY it comes around & ugh Janis: seemed like a moody prick Grace: boys are such liars Grace: like okay you're nothing like you were that day in town & you're actually 19 & I don't think you even wanna be here Janis: yep Janis: girls too, in fairness Janis: you're just used to that and not trying to fuck 'em so Grace: I just thought he was different, nice or something Grace: like you said I should go out with Janis: yeah well Janis: never said it'd be easy, like Janis: few and far between Grace: I tried really hard Grace: Like REALLY Grace: it's so stupid Janis: ain't your fault he was a twat Grace: I fell for it Grace: nice lads aren't here for me, obvs, I should've known Grace: I literally do know Janis: it ain't that simple Grace: It is though Grace: I'm a bitch Grace: Is Jimmy coming? Janis: don't worry about that right now Janis: nah, he don't need to Grace: Tell him I'm sorry then Janis: bit rude i don't get one Janis: it's fine Grace: I mean for everything Grace: Mia Grace: since he got here Janis: yeah Janis: pretty mental, even for you lot Grace: I told her, I keep telling her Grace: cos I am happy for you, like Janis: alright, I'll tell him Grace: Believe me though Janis: I do Janis: don't be weird, like Grace: you have to cos I love you, okay? Grace: but idk what to do about her Janis: I can handle her Janis: he can too Janis: but she's genuinely just Janis: you know Janis: you need to handle her too, yeah Grace: I don't work with her though Grace: or without Grace: cos she's not talking to me rn & look Janis: bollocks Janis: she would've told you to go for it with that lad Janis: come on Grace: I met him because she was being a bitch about you that day he was over at our house & I made her leave Grace: I wouldn't have gone into town on my own otherwise Janis: you could've met him any time Janis: and it's not about him Janis: you've gotta admit, he's not exactly out of character in your ex line-up Janis: can't think like that Grace: she would've said no & none of this would have happened so Tyler wouldn't have picked me up & mum & dad wouldn't think I'm a sex worker Janis: I didn't tell them you were a sex worker Janis: and she only would've said no 'cos she'd wanna be watching us so that's not like she's looking out for you Janis: not like she's got a sixth sense for dickheads herself Grace: I hate her Grace: I hate my life Janis: yeah Janis: I know Janis: you've got to get rid of her at some point Grace: Why don't you love me? Janis: Grace Janis: it'd just be easier if we didn't Janis: for all of us, you especially Grace: what does that mean???? Janis: it only hurts if you love or care or Janis: whatever Grace: but its not about Edie cos you didn't love me before Grace: & you love him, your boyfriend so Grace: what did I do? Janis: that's not true Janis: I don't know Janis: maybe I can't Grace: but you literally love him Janis: no I don't Grace: It's everywhere, all over everything Grace: I can't be on my phone without seeing it Grace: or in the same room as you Janis: yeah and how many of your exes did you actually love Grace: that's not the same Grace: I don't look at them like that & they'd never look at me like it either Grace: it's so fake, it has to be if I'm in it Janis: I've not known him that long Janis: no one has, like Grace: So? Janis: can't be in love with someone you don't know, right Grace: I know when I've done the wrong thing like IMMEDIATELY Grace: maybe you can still feel something that soon when it's good too idk Grace: not the right person to ask about love Janis: noted, babe Janis: just saying, think lots of people fake it Grace: Yeah Grace: sometimes you have to & sometimes you want to Janis: do you want to? Grace: when? Grace: I fake like everything, babes, you need to hit me with specifics Janis: well that's what I mean Janis: if your ratio is mostly wanting to, then I guess that's alright Janis: but it ain't so Grace: it's like I have to pretend I'm not freaking out whenever a boy touches me but I want to pretend that's not always gonna be a thing Grace: specifics Grace: I have to be friends with Mia but I don't want to Janis: Why do you have to Grace: ??????? Janis: be friends with her Grace: like I said, it's too late Grace: I can't go back and not tell her everything or have her with me for everything Grace: idk how to do things without her anymore Grace: I need her even if I don't like her Janis: 'course you can Janis: look at us, we're blood relatives and we manage Janis: you don't want her fucking up everything you do forever Grace: I'll have her to blame that way though Grace: if it's just me, it's literally me Janis: nah Janis: family album full of people you can blame Janis: easy Janis: swear Grace: she hates you & I wanna hate you, sometimes Grace: so I thought that would be easy Janis: yeah but she also wants to live in my skin so Janis: complicates matters Grace: but like same ?? so Janis: now you see why I didn't wanna come to those sleepovers Grace: fine cos I don't want you there being prettier than me Janis: 😏 yeah right Grace: ugh Janis: you alright Grace: I just didn't wanna cry here, you know? Grace: he'll think it's about him Janis: go outside Grace: I wish screaming I DON'T LOVE YOU BYE actually meant that Grace: instead of making people think I do Janis: screaming anything don't really help your case Janis: try 🤐 Grace: actually can't though, sorry Grace: 💘 or 🤐 Janis: I've got headphones Janis: it's fine Grace: Where's Jimmy's mum? Janis: not coming to pick you up, can tell you that for certain Grace: Is she dead? Janis: Don't know Janis: did Bobby talk about her lots then Grace: He asked me if we've got one Grace: & said that he doesn't Janis: yeah, she pissed off, about the sum of it Janis: don't know if he knows that or what though so Grace: Maybe he was too little Grace: he's so sweet Janis: yeah, pretty cute Grace: like really gentle, little lads are normally so loud & annoying Janis: girls are well worse Janis: especially the ones in this family Grace: duh Grace: you can say I'm most annoying, babes 👑 treat yourself Janis: was talking about the actual children, like but you know Janis: fight a toddler if you need to, babe Grace: Oh so I'm an actual child when a 19 year old lies to me but not when I want a 👑 Grace: so rude Janis: that's life Janis: don't make the law up, soz Grace: 💔 Janis: I'll run for PM when I get a sec Grace: I love that for you Janis: obvs Janis: no 👑 Grace: but you have any food?? Janis: food? Grace: I'm so hungry like all the time 😱😱😱 aren't you? Janis: nah 'cos I eat enough and at the right times Janis: I've passed hundreds of kebabbies and shit, we'll go get something Grace: 🙏🙏🙏🙏 Janis: who's gaff even is this Grace: UM idk Grace: his cousin maybe? Grace: no his uncle Grace: no Janis: don't need the family tree, I get the vibe Janis: are there any other girls from school there like Grace: that's a real no Grace: I would not be here Janis: ugh Grace: if I'm gonna commit suicide I'll do it myself thanks Grace: don't need them or their insta stories Janis: not my main concern Grace: ?? Janis: it'd be better if it was an actual party with school people Janis: not his cousin uncle and co Grace: Why? Janis: because why would he bring you around his older male relatives Janis: what do you have in common with him, never mind them Janis: it's so dangerous, Grace Grace: I didn't know it was gonna be this sketchy Grace: that's not what he said Janis: yeah well boys lie, remember Janis: it's fine, I'm only a few streets away now, apparently Grace: I'm outside so we can just leave, yeah? Grace: it's not gonna be like a thing Janis: nah I well fancy going in there and shouting my head off and all Grace: you know what I mean Janis: if you're outside then yeah, what am I gonna do Grace: I'm sorry Janis: at least you are okay this time Janis: I meant it when I said something's gonna happen though Grace: It won't even I'm so done Janis: alright, well you all say that when you feel like shit Janis: general you that time Grace: he's deleted Janis: 👌 Grace: Like, I'll obvs get new shitty exes but no need to go back here Janis: screenshot that one, yeah? Grace: 💜 Grace: he's not that cute, I was just over all the white boys Grace: no offense Janis: variety is the spice of life Janis: though literally no idea who that ginger you're talking about is Grace: I think he thinks you slept with his gf?? Grace: I set him straight on that, literally Janis: ha gutted i did that Janis: shh Grace: No way you would've, he showed me a pic & you can do so much better, babes Grace: trust Janis: awks Janis: poor ginge Grace: he wouldn't stop shouting at me like excuse me we're not the same person Grace: as if I'm gonna turn around and you're the back of my head Janis: you probably telepathically told me to do it though Janis: know what twins are like Grace: if she was cute, sure Janis: i don't think that helps us sound any less weird Janis: glad you went with a different clapback Grace: there's worse things than homewrecking someone that ugh Grace: but 👌👌 Janis: not taking that one for the team Janis: no matter how much of a cunt he was Janis: soz Grace: fine, wouldn't wanna risk barista boy's 💘 anyway Grace: a bitch but not that bitch Janis: shut up idiot Grace: he's so highkey 😍😍😍 & I think that's nice Janis: shame he ain't coming Janis: be hilarious if you said that to his face Janis: for me anyway Grace: I've seen enough PDA thank you Janis: you were definitely told to leave so Grace: I'm still mad at you btw Grace: & you can't make me leave a coffee shop, bitch Grace: I was mid ☕ Janis: that weren't my idea Grace: idc still 😱😱😱 Janis: your mates shouldn't bitch so loudly, like Grace: 🙄🙄 I know Grace: I'm so over it Janis: seems exhausting Janis: having to give a shit about what everyone else is up to all the time Grace: mhmmmmmm Janis: and just to be bitches Janis: seriously Grace: they're just hung up on you specifically cos every boy they want has asked you out & you said no Grace: boys they can't even get Grace: like it's your fault you're prettier than them Grace: when they have nobody to blame for how petty they are trying to be Grace: it's so boring & ridiculous!!! Janis: should fuck 'em just to really make it worth their rage but Janis: do you do it too, when it ain't me Grace: Ew no don't Grace: &? I know what I am, honey Janis: unlikely, reasons I said no Janis: I mean, it's probably easy to fall into that way of being Janis: like when you left all your shit at CG Grace: Okay no Grace: not talking about that with you ever Janis: why not, I literally had to give you your stuff Janis: we all know what it was Grace: exactly so we don't have to go there Janis: alright Grace: are you here or do I have time to kms? Janis: not trying to embarrass you Janis: and yeah not far Janis: this is just the longest street ever for some reason Grace: you should stop smoking with that boy Janis: please Grace: mhmm please do Janis: we're a long way from you giving anyone lectures Janis: let alone me Grace: it's still gross & you're already way thinner than me Janis: the ulterior motive comes out Janis: don't smoke enough for that, or lung disease, tah Grace: you can get fucked up by his sexy smoke rings, babes Grace: but sure Janis: that's 2nd-hand Janis: it's worse 'cos all the co2 you breathe out Janis: smoking yourself, way safer Grace: 🙄🙄🙄 Grace: I'll take it up then Janis: you'd have to get 'em off weird john Janis: no way you ain't getting ID'd Janis: any safety is dashed tbh, wouldn't bother if I were you Grace: excuse you literally have 19 year olds falling at my feet so Grace: well almost Janis: that like underage girls but sure Janis: probably ducked when he realised how virginal you ain't Grace: Yeah Grace: 2 years too late, sorry boy Janis: ick Janis: leave it out Grace: ????? Janis: that's too young Janis: it's depressing Grace: I know, I cried for like a week Janis: stop thinking about it now Janis: and chatting Janis: drive me to drink Grace: you can share this one Janis: alright, had enough earlier Janis: one of us should be vaguely sober Grace: did you sneak it into the fair while I was babysitting? Janis: ha Janis: after, went pub Grace: Oh okay Janis: did you think i was drunk Janis: was just a sugar high, like Grace: you left ASAP and I did when you got back Grace: literally wouldn't know Janis: did think it was a bit of a jump Grace: it's so rude that I can't get in anywhere & you can Janis: I'm tall Janis: and you've got a babyface Grace: like I said, so rude Janis: blame mum and dad Janis: neither of them brought it in the height department Grace: I blame avó, she's who I look like Grace: & she has that direct 🙏🙏🙏 line to god, obvs so Grace: she could have put in a word for me not to look like this Janis: get that you ain't meant to be a braggy cunt Janis: but bit of a slap in the face to call out one of his creations and say 'not again, thanks' Grace: 😂😂 Janis: also she'd give you a slap in the face for that one so let's hope she ain't in the kebab Grace: she'd wanna hit me for lots of things I do but Jesus loves a whore Grace: & she's never ate anywhere that isn't ours either Grace: doubly saved 🙌 Janis: 😏 Janis: not suggesting she's been out on the piss tbh Janis: it's late as hell and not midnight mass vibes, like Grace: if you're going that hard of the blood of christ, maybe just marry him tbh Janis: gutted she didn't Janis: probably can't dump your kid to be a nun though Janis: unfortunate for us all Grace: maybe I'll go become one Grace: can you vlog it? Janis: considering the vow of poverty, don't think you can show up with thousands worth of filming equipment, no Grace: tragic Janis: not even to mention all the others i think you'd struggle with Grace: well it's just mean if you don't tell me now Janis: come on then, I see you Janis: tell you all about it Grace: 👋 Grace: you look so pretty OMG Janis: let's not be texting and walking rn babe Grace: 👌👌👌

Jimmy & Janis

Jimmy: never seen a kid 😢 at a haircut Jimmy: before you say owt, it ain't even done yet so it don't look shit Janis: Poor Bobs Janis: bribe him with sweets after like it's the dentist Janis: I can get some on my way back Jimmy: throw him at your family pinging and well mad fer the party 😂 Jimmy: tah for the invite lads Jimmy: 👍 Janis: you know Janis: can't get him on the pre drinks so Jimmy: I'll set him up with a shot glass full of fizzy pop Jimmy: sorted Janis: 🙌 Janis: party don't stop Janis: what about Twix Janis: she'll feel left out Jimmy: 🎶 or start til you walk in, babe #obvs Jimmy: 💔🐶🎻 Jimmy: I'd reckon on letting her trash the place but that's any day she's left alone for 1 sec Janis: Naturally Janis: why else would I need to be there so bad Janis: she's just bored #relatable Jimmy: life and soul, my dear Jimmy: you and your true love wasted on this place Janis: sad but #truthbomb Janis: [sends him socials of the decor that are already up] Janis: I know I've been telling you but seriously Janis: see and believe and prepare Jimmy: fucking hell Jimmy: too late to ask 💀👑 to be your date instead or what? Janis: hmm Janis: would probably be my easy ticket out Janis: and she'd be thrilled for so many reasons Jimmy: crack on then Janis: 😒 Jimmy: come on, no challenge in it Janis: only a further challenge on my sanity, like Jimmy: turn round, I've sent the orchestra after you Jimmy: Bob's gonna save you a tissue an' all Janis: lovely Janis: just one he's not blown his nose in, tah Jimmy: 👌 Jimmy: buy us 🚬 when you're at the shop Jimmy: 🤞💀💀💀 Janis: sure Janis: death pact sounds good rn Jimmy: right there next to you, Juliet Jimmy: headfirst off the balcony if nowt else Janis: honestly Janis: love to fuck up their marble floor Jimmy: least if you play up enough you might get a new pony out of it Jimmy: fuck knows where we'll put it but the kids will be #buzzing Janis: piss off Janis: don't even like horses Janis: or you Jimmy: I know that's bollocks, rich girl Janis: glue factory, both of yous Jimmy: 💕🐴 Jimmy: 💕😎 Jimmy: I'll buy you a heart shaped locket when our #truelove turns 1 Jimmy: space with pics for all your faves Janis: 😒 Janis: I'll throw it into the ocean Jimmy: 💔💔💔 Jimmy: gonna make me 😢😢 too Janis: s'alright, draw a masterpiece and I'll share the door Janis: don't hate you either, not completely Jimmy: every bit's a masterpiece with you as my muse, baby Jimmy: 🥇🎨 Janis: gonna get whiplash if you keep doing these 180s boy Jimmy: get you out of this party, won't it? 😘 Janis: your plan all along Janis: 💔 me so I've got a get out of jail free card Janis: not worked for Gracie, like Jimmy: gotta be 💕 to get 💔 Janis: she was Jimmy: bollocks Jimmy: our fake was realer than that Janis: not with him, obviously Janis: 💀👑💕 Jimmy: 😂 Janis: you know it's real Janis: as real as she gets Jimmy: a love story to rival me and my ex that one Jimmy: bout as many break and make ups as we had too, like Janis: I wouldn't try and console her Janis: never get away Janis: more 😭 than the kid Jimmy: I can't 💪 and 🤐 you said Jimmy: I ain't cuddling her Janis: better not Jimmy: not in my 💰💰 party clothes, tah Jimmy: wouldn't be 💋 on my collar, it'd be half her face Janis: 😂 Janis: you have no idea Jimmy: I'm not trying to find out what she #wakesuplike or owt else Jimmy: 💔 Gracie I know Janis: 😏 reckon she's over it, babe Jimmy: 👍 Janis: 💔 I know Jimmy: 🎻🎻 Jimmy: [sends selfies that Bobby has taken of himself post haircut] Jimmy: heartbreaker not heartbroken now he is Jimmy: he needed you to see ALL 23 of them identical pics so he reckoned Janis: He looks so good Janis: very 😎 Jimmy: using every bit of my 💪 to stop him taking my phone to give you a bell Janis: n'awh he can if he wants Janis: am at the shop so get your order in Jimmy: [cute little phone call moment including Jimmy telling Bobby to ask her to buy all kinds of silly stuff cos nerd] Janis: [so cute, when they'd all be used to each other now and like a mini fam soz ian not soz] Jimmy: [even Cass would like Janis by now, such a squad, fuck off Ian] Janis: [get her something for dinner just in case 'cos too cool for this party obvs] Jimmy: [and we know Ian ain't gonna give a shit as long as he's okay himself so] Janis: actually 😍 Jimmy: how soon can we palm him off though? Jimmy: doing my head in if he ain't yours Janis: so mean, you Janis: go 'head and wish for this party to start tho Jimmy: you're alright Janis: mhmm Janis: this is gonna be a disaster, not even a funny one Jimmy: what's the scale? Janis: you wanna hear about the worst party this family has ever, like? Janis: 'cos you need to give me like 3-5 working days to work that out Jimmy: just working out if today's the day for us to say yeah to drugs instead of nah or if decimating Ian's drink supply before he gets back will do Janis: no doubt they'll have it out like hors d'oeuvres Janis: rich people Jimmy: what the fuck are them? Jimmy: I know that weren't paddy lingo but you still lost me Janis: party food Janis: pineapple and cheese on a stick but make it 💸 Jimmy: 😂 Jimmy: brush some edible gold leaf on it Janis: exactly Janis: make some poor cunt in a tux hand it out Janis: they aren't quite that level, well Janis: I don't think they'll have 'staff' anyway or 🤢 Jimmy: could've had a word for me, babe Jimmy: bit rude Jimmy: missing out on a lot of tips to be there Janis: if you really wanna make it weird, I'll pay you myself Janis: idiot Jimmy: I've been waiting ages to unlock that final kink of yours Jimmy: 💪🏆 Janis: There you go then Janis: all comes out Janis: 🙄 Jimmy: 🥇 Jimmy: really cheered me that has Janis: you'll forgive me for the hors d'oeuvres then Janis: so glad Jimmy: put a bit more work in and I might Janis: you work, I pay Janis: silly Jimmy: 🤤🤤🤤 Jimmy: keep giving them orders, girl Janis: 😏 Janis: if we didn't have somewhere to be Jimmy: we don't yet Janis: no, but you can't actually ditch bobs Jimmy: I'll throw him at Cass for a bit when we get back, she's getting time off later Janis: True Janis: not above it but not ideal getting drunk enough to deal in front of him, like Jimmy: I'm texting her now Jimmy: and we're on the bus Jimmy: be home well soon Janis: 👍 Janis: race you there Jimmy: piss off I ain't driving the bus Jimmy: that ain't fair Janis: if you ain't up to the challenge Janis: 😂 Jimmy: leave it out or you ain't getting your present Janis: locket? Jimmy: not what I've got in my pocket right now but I love that you're thinking long term Jimmy: very keen you Janis: 🤔👀 Jimmy: you gonna guess or what? Janis: 🍾 Janis: umm Janis: did you get some shampoo Janis: idk Jimmy: my subtle hint that you need to sort yourself out, like Jimmy: not that much of a dickhead Janis: I've got no clue Jimmy: Are you telling me you wanna shower with me? 'Cause not fuming about it Janis: I was thinking where you was last but you know Janis: can't show up stinking can we Jimmy: If getting kicked out is the goal, probably should Jimmy: but I Janis: wanna give me my present Janis: I get it Jimmy: and you want it off me Janis: yeah Janis: I do Jimmy: you're so Janis: you Jimmy: [sends her a fire sext because always and any opportunity] Janis: Jimmy Jimmy: what? Janis: just Janis: be here now Jimmy: just wait for me Jimmy: won't be as long as it feels Janis: I miss you Jimmy: I want you Janis: as soon as you're back Janis: 'til the last possible minute Jimmy: Yeah Janis: didn't want to go but now I really, really don't wanna go anywhere but the shower, like Jimmy: Ian ain't there to bang on the door, it's alright Janis: 😏 maybe he's just trying to keep us in time Janis: helpful, really Jimmy: sounds proper fake that Janis: probably Janis: just tryna spread those posi vibes Janis: you know me, babe Jimmy: such a ray of sunshine you Jimmy: what I'm always telling people that is Janis: awh, who you talkin' 'bout me to, boy? Jimmy: the 🌏 babe Janis: 😍 #thatdemotho Janis: you spoil me Janis: that my gift, yeah? #freepromo Jimmy: you got me Jimmy: know the way to your 💘 Janis: just can't quit being goals, can you Jimmy: 💕 Janis: be here now Janis: I'm done waiting Jimmy: Hang on, I'll throw the driver off Jimmy: only a few stops Janis: probably distracted with his 😍 Jimmy: if the kid weren't here everyone on this bus would be Janis: 💔 that Janis: actually Jimmy: has Cass shown up at ours yet? Jimmy: I told her to take him out Janis: yeah Janis: her mates here too they're raiding the cupboards Jimmy: that lad again? 🙄 Janis: alright, dad Janis: nice of you to pop in 😂 Jimmy: piss off Janis: you're so cute Jimmy: you're a dickhead Janis: don't get aggy with me Janis: I ain't got my mans over Jimmy: Mia be round any sec though, will she? Jimmy: make myself scarce for a bit then Janis: 🖕 Janis: so funny, you Jimmy: save that for her Jimmy: 💕 Janis: the fakery? Janis: sure Janis: I'm a pro now Jimmy: that and the hand gestures Janis: easy now Janis: not tossing her off Janis: and it's a different gesture, anyway Jimmy: 😂 Jimmy: trying to tell me I've been doing it wrong, are you? Jimmy: first I've heard Jimmy: and very subtle of you, mate Janis: 😂 Janis: you know Janis: been thinking how to bring it up and now seemed like the perfect opportunity tbh Jimmy: you'll have a perfect opportunity to show me how I can do better in a bit Janis: it's a date, loser Jimmy: 👌 Jimmy: [showing up cos why not do a lil skip lol] Janis: just chilling in the kitchen with cass and her mate like hey] Jimmy: [100% her mate is the Tyler kid in my head lol but yeah don't be rude and kick them out immediately, do pass the sweets Janis got round tho shameless bribe which reminds me her gift was a lollipop he swiped from the hairdresser for well behaved kids cos drunken throwback they don't remember but we do so he can give her that too like] Jimmy: [Bobby showing everyone his hair and loving life P.S] Janis: [love that, being shamelessly buzzing 'cos about those nerdy gestures forever and you get to be #seductive on the low] Janis: [get it bab, you look fresh] Jimmy: [could not resist and never will bye] Jimmy: [that little kiddo being less shy fuck me up] Janis: [get your confidence live your life bb] Jimmy: [making everyone a cuppa even though you want them to fuck off #northern] Janis: [when you're rood (but not really) so you're like we've got to get ready bye] Jimmy: [only so much eye fucking and accidental touching and seduction via lolly you can handle before you g2g] Janis: [truly, in that shower boys] Jimmy: [casually really long shower soz not soz Ian] Janis: enjoy that waterbill] Jimmy: [then actually get dressed and get drinking but it's obvs still flirty af] Janis: [the vibe, 'cos don't need to dwell on what a non mood this party is] Jimmy: [literally he'd be distracting her so hard, so many kisses it'd be a miracle that anything else gets done, lowkey helping each other dress just so you can keep touching and being soft] Janis: ['you look good' 'cos he did despite the dresscode] Jimmy: [does a drinks cheers because thanks and also she does too we know it] Janis: [cheersing with glee 'cos a few drinks in and being with the bae you don't feel completely like kms] Janis: ['not as good as Bobby but you know, you'll do'] Jimmy: [runs his hands through his hair dramatically cos got a lil trim but nothing worth mentioning and doing a pouty face for the pisstake 'take him then, I'll stay here'] Janis: [hugging him tight like no] Jimmy: [hugging her back as tight just because and hands in her hair likewise and more kisses just because] Janis: ['I promise I'll make it fun' 'cos sorry to be dragging him into this mess but gotta lol] Jimmy: ['If I'm with you, I'm having a good one' cos true even in this instance ultimately] Janis: [literal sincere hearteyes] Jimmy: [give them right back so its a moment] Janis: [just snuggling like 'let's run away okay'] Jimmy: ['alright, we're decently dressed for life on the run' but being soft with your touches cos you want to as well] Janis: [sniffs, 'yeah, new identity ready, like'] Jimmy: ['forgot your former name already, me'] Janis: [lols 'be more believable if you hadn't been saying it so much in the shower, boy' 😏] Jimmy: ['soz, I thought you only wanted me mute at the party, like' 😏 Janis: [makes face like no and a 'n'awh' sound 'I don't want you like that, you just ain't gonna have nothing to say to 'em, me either, like'] Jimmy: ['I don't wanna say nowt to 'em, just you' no offense fam but that's the tea] Janis: [nods 'cos same and not like she's that bitch to say you must lmao] Jimmy: [tops both their drinks up because that speaks for itself] Janis: [drinking and snuggling] Jimmy: [enjoy the alone time while you can kids] Janis: [just telling him about the 'decent' (bit rude) kids that'll be there for bobby to play with] Jimmy: [he'll be having a lovely time at least] Janis: [and at least as bouj as they are it's not like they're most fancy house 'cos he's still in school so can't be living fully lavish] Jimmy: [makes me lol god bless those extra bitches] Jimmy: [let's say he puts music on for them cos kids could be back any time and wanna stay in their own bubble as long as they can] Janis: [throwback to all those times, appreciated] Jimmy: [casual playlist of all those van hook ups lol] Janis: [if anything is gonna get you in the mood tbh] Jimmy: [enjoy it kids] Janis: [in your new bed bowchicka] Jimmy: [that for once isn't full of a pup and a kid so it still feels as small as a single usually #rude] Janis: [hope you've not put your fancy clothes on yet lol] Jimmy: [dressed and undressed haha priorities] Jimmy: [Jimmy'd be like me and not put them on til the last min in case they get messed up] Janis: [sensible, better than turning up all awry like what you been up to 😏] Jimmy: [they don't need the pisstaking today fam they're trying to stay in a good mood] Janis: [just like 'fucking obvs wbu'] Jimmy: [don't ask if you don't wanna know tbh] Janis: [truly, how long are we giving you lads before Ian's back being a hoe] Jimmy: [give 'em long enough to enjoy that new bed and be a few more drinks in but yeah he should probably appear soon to give him the most time to be a knob before they get be like oh bye Ian lowkey maybe they think it's the kids coming back so they're like alright cool they're earlier than we expected so loads of time to get Bobs ready but then no, it's that fool Janis: [when you're lowkey like should I stay in here 'til we're ready to go 'cos Ian hates you lol] Jimmy: [she should if only so they can type to each other for a bit] Jimmy: 🙄💀💀💀🙄 Janis: real life and soul has arrived Jimmy: can you hear us celebrating down here? Jimmy: 🎉 keep it down, knobhead 🍾 Janis: been to plenty parties like that Janis: but Ian, the vibe is 💎💎💎💋🌸🌺🎀 Janis: get with it Jimmy: 🍀 standard fare that, be why he fits right in on this street Jimmy: you don't wanna take him in my place then? Jimmy: 💀👑 gonna be thrilled to still be 🥇 like Janis: they should date Janis: start an anti-fan club for me Janis: cute 💕 Jimmy: stop trying to make me vom Jimmy: so kinky you Janis: tryna save you, babe Janis: sure she's dead distracting Janis: soz sue or whoever it is rn Jimmy: I'll take her over Mia as my new mum tah Janis: she will find her in Janis: stop fighting it, boy Jimmy: Take your own advice before you hand it out to me, mate Janis: 🤐 shh Jimmy: 💕 Janis: she's coming for his 👑 in the dickhead stakes though so maybe it won't work Janis: too much competition 💪👎 Jimmy: what like there can only be 1? 🍀 town's full of twats Janis: ask her, she'd tell you Janis: don't share the throne, babes Jimmy: hang on, I'll slide in her DMs for a change Jimmy: shock might 🔪🔪💀👻 Janis: 🤞 Janis: needs distracting from her story rampage Jimmy: ? Janis: ugh, usual Janis: now her and gracie aren't bffs forever she don't have to hold back with slaggin on her and spilling all that tea, sis Jimmy: 🙄🙄🙄 Jimmy: rather have this twat in my 👂 than eyes on that bollocks Jimmy: tah Ian Janis: tell him it's his turn to say something nice now Jimmy: 👍 Janis: 🔊 I'm waiting Jimmy: take your turn, he's skipping his Janis: About Ian? Janis: Hmm Janis: he makes cute kids Janis: I guess Jimmy: 😂 Jimmy: come and get the little one, he needs to get ready not hear this shit Janis: 👍 Janis: [does and gives him a subtle shoulder squeeze as she goes] Jimmy: [runs away as soon as he can cos you know Cass is good for making Ian kick off/taking his full attention so they could just get Bobby ready and be cute though you can tell Jimothy is forlorn]] Janis: [not saying anything but keeping Bobby chatting and hyped about this party and showing him pics of relevant kids so he won't be as shy to meet them] Jimmy: [just 😍 cos that's so nice and so cute and he is full of love] Janis: [just smiling at him and doing lots of subtle small reassuring touches] Jimmy: I love you Janis: I love you Janis: fuck the rest, yeah? Jimmy: yeah Janis: [gives him a sneaky kiss 'cos kids be like ewwww lol] Jimmy: let's just go Jimmy: if not to the party yet just Janis: 'course, all dressed up like Janis: kid needs an audience rn 😎 Jimmy: bit rude if our kid's just taken 1000s of pics of you on that old camera I let him have Jimmy: my muse not his Janis: there's enough inspo to go around baby Jimmy: weren't a challenge but take it as one any time you like, girl Janis: [posing for Bobby and pulling all kinds of faces whilst getting one of his jackets on like let's ride] Janis: what challenge Jimmy: [counts how many poses/faces she's doing casually] Jimmy: you owe me a photoshoot later Jimmy: see what you reckon then Janis: see what you reckon when I hit you with my hourly rate Janis: owes me so many sweets, that one Jimmy: Nah, rich girl, I work and you pay Jimmy: your words them Jimmy: [we on the move though fuck you Ian and good luck being stuck with that Cass] Janis: [seriously that'll be fun for you both lowkey] Janis: you think I'm gonna pay for the pleasure? Jimmy: as long as you feel it I don't give a fuck if you don't get the cash out Jimmy: but we can keep that between us Jimmy: #golddigger if anyone asks obvs Janis: 'course Janis: why else would you be with me Janis: just keep that off the 'gram, naturally Janis: [walking and talking with Bobs, obvs, sneaky convos ftw] Jimmy: I'll put the list on the 'gram in a bit Jimmy: let you know, like Janis: how very goals of you Janis: even if you're gonna have to ignore me to write it, like 😏 Jimmy: fuck that, it basically writes itself Jimmy: [a look cos so in love bitch] Janis: you look good Janis: did I tell you Jimmy: might've done Jimmy: I need to tell you Jimmy: come here Janis: [moves closer like hello] Jimmy: [whispering all these compliments and generally hot af things in her ear like] Janis: [when you nudge him like excuse me but it's just an excuse to snuggle into his side, we see you] Jimmy: [soz baby bobs but we gotta do another sneaky kiss here that may or may not be that sneaky soz again] Janis: [he'd be less grossed than cass and we all know it] Jimmy: [yeah and he's probs using his camera on himself/the scenery as they walk along anyways so] Janis: ['how's it feel having a mini-me?'] Jimmy: [shrugs cos used to it 'better than it'd feel Ian having one' cos that's the tea] Janis: [nods like ain't that the truth] Jimmy: [when you openly snuggle into her side without any excuse cos ugh he's the worst and you know he's been saying shit as standard] Janis: [taking your hand out of the pocket to hold his 'another pro of Mia, she's definitely infertile, no more Ians ever'] Jimmy: [little lol because you can't even help it] Jimmy: ['imagine the school lunch she'd pack, tah mum'] Janis: ['those appetite-suppressing lollipops are well kid-friendly'] Jimmy: ['do need this kid off my hands to have a smoke though so if you could give her a bell now that'd be decent'] Janis: ['um, cigarettes are the OG appetite-supressors, HELLO!' taps his head like think on but gestures like, you want me to go ahead with him or] Jimmy: [pulls her closer to him and holds onto her dramatically because no #bantsbutalsotherealest] Janis: [doing that half walk half dance you have to do when you're holding onto each other and still moving for a while 'cos not going] Jimmy: [giving her the realest intense don't leave me look before you can stop yourself because the neediest softest boy ever bye] Janis: [just looking back not faltering 'I ain't gonna leave you alone with 'em, if only for the purely selfish reason I don't wanna be alone with 'em either'] Jimmy: [a hug moment that he really needs and is made cuter by Bobby joining in cos they a lil fam] Janis: [love a group hug moment, live your best life, ain't no one stop you, especially not Ian bye] Jimmy: [shakes his head at himself like get your shit together now boy] Janis: [puts Bobby's shades down for him 'cos cool kid and mimics the same at him like you got this babe] Jimmy: [a wonderful hand squeeze of thanks and hand holding the rest of the way] Janis: [squad roll up honey] Jimmy: [let's do this lads, take a deep breath before the pink hits you but] Janis: [literal deep breath as if you're not gonna do your best to do the bare minimum of socializing before finding a cosy corner] Jimmy: [god bless, can't even shade you two cos its gonna be so awks, I can so clearly hear and see Venus' dad's extraness like] Janis: [as much as she's 😒 at least he's met cali enough for that to not be unbearable just keep rio away lowkey lol] Jimmy: [we all know they are gonna take a smoke break the first chance they get full offense everybody but could be worse cos grace is lowkey tipsy af already so] Janis: [just exchanging a look but not a sexy look with him like okay and we were pre-drinking] Jimmy: #whitegirlwasted Jimmy: you might've taught me that but she's reminding me Janis: 😂 Janis: she's an education in all things white alright Jimmy: 👌👌 Jimmy: [okay but Jimmy chatting to Indie cos she's brought Astrid and he's got Bobs and remember when he was like 10/10 would bang lol] Janis: [just off securing that bitch vodka] Jimmy: [take it girl you're gonna want it] Janis: [talking to Rio (and Buster and Venus' dad etc) without him 'cos you wanna keep her away 'cos embarrassing] Jimmy: [he's just settling Bobs in but he's got loads of kids and hippie brother so he's buzzing unlike most of these guests] Jimmy: 👍 Janis: all good? Jimmy: you alright? Janis: you know Jimmy: 💪🏆 Janis: that's about the gist of it, yeah Jimmy: what are you drinking, girl? Janis: that's a poor excuse for chat, boy Jimmy: shut up Jimmy: do you want one or what? Janis: obviously Jimmy: 🏃 me Jimmy: hang on Janis: you offered Jimmy: [brings her that beverage and knocks their glasses together] Janis: ['careful, wouldn't wanna spill anything'] Jimmy: [gives her a look because she wanted to spill their blood on the marble not that long ago lol] Janis: [shrugs like what] Jimmy: [shrugs back like what cos always] Janis: [🙄 and dranking] Jimmy: [we all drinking] Janis: this is so ugly Jimmy: it's 💎💎💎💋🌸🌺🎀 Jimmy: get it right babes Janis: my point still stands Jimmy: smack me, I'll get a clashing colour nosebleed and we'll have to leave Janis: alright, sounds fun Jimmy: #kinkunlocked Janis: you wish Jimmy: when I blow out the kid's candles in a bit you'll have to do it 👸 Janis: [does mini lol] Jimmy: 🚬? Janis: [starts heading out in response] Jimmy: [following the bae] Janis: ['we shoulda got another pack' as she's tapping two out, like no time for sharing] Jimmy: [gives her a playful look like literally you had one job 'I'll go in a bit' but obvs he means on the way back he's not just gonna leave her lol] Janis: ['I'm an optimist, I didn't think it'd be this bad, sue me' 😏] Jimmy: [little lol 'why we're such a good match, duh'] Janis: ['for now, anyway'] Jimmy: [💔 with his hands] Janis: ['believable'] Janis: [does 👎] Jimmy: [does OTT sad face and fake crying like is that better?] Janis: ['if you want sympathy you gotta aim it at your new, not your old' taps her head, like Jimmy: [👍 IRL like tah for that] Janis: ['in you go' shoos 'cos so polite] Jimmy: [playfight moment cos oi] Janis: ['stop it' but a LOOk obvs] Jimmy: [a look back like make me cos distract yourselves with being flirty af kids] Janis: [shakes her head 'I'm busy' takes pause to inhale to prove point then exhales 'ask your friend instead'] Jimmy: ['which one, got so many friends, me'] Janis: [just makes face like you know] Jimmy: [makes a face back like no I don't] Janis: [rolls her eyes but not agressively so add the smirky face, like, 'good job you're pretty, babe'] Jimmy: [bats his eyelashes at her in an OTT way and makes a kissy face, it's almost like Grace is in the room lol] Janis: [makes a vom face and pushes him away 'no, you're dumped, get out'] Jimmy: [hair flip and walk away but not far away thanks] Janis: ['technically, half of these are yours' and shakes the cigs at him] Jimmy: ['not til you say yeah to tying the knot, babe, today the day?'] Janis: ['obviously, this-' gestures around '-is all I really want'] Jimmy: ['obviously'] Janis: [shakes head and sighs, 'least bobby's having fun, like'] Jimmy: [nods because that's the best he could expect as an outcome tbh] Janis: [kicks at his shins but softly not actual 'cheer up'] Jimmy: [is all like oi cos fancy clothes but not actually mad obvs 'alright, challenge accepted'] Janis: [looks at him expectantly] Jimmy: [hits her with a 'what?' as standard] Janis: ['come here, idiot'] Jimmy: [does of course] Janis: [sneaky garden makeouts forever] Jimmy: [take what you can get kids, probably gonna have to go back in before too long] Janis: [Astrid probably having a meltdown so you gotta go in to check on the kid you brought lol] Jimmy: [Indie just gotta leave with her so the numbers are dwindling #awks] Janis: 💔 Jimmy: 🎻🎻💔💔🎻🎻 Janis: really should've scaled this back, all things considered Jimmy: but the 💎💎💎💋🌸🌺🎀 Jimmy: actually would be 💔 Jimmy: it's a 3 💎 event, girl Janis: for who Jimmy: everyone #obvs Janis: I repeat Janis: who Jimmy: your horse would be feeling it if you'd brought her along 👸👑🐴💕 Janis: can't bring a horse for a date Janis: not that kind of horse girl Jimmy: 😂 Janis: gutting, I know Janis: not even afer the honeymoon Jimmy: might be a challenge too far competing with 🐴🍆like, 💪🏆 as I am Jimmy: so you're alright Janis: 😂 Janis: no amount of 🍀 gonna help you Janis: 🤷 soz Jimmy: 💕 meant to help me, Juliet Jimmy: choose me 😍💘 Janis: you've always said how much I love horses so Janis: how could I Jimmy: 😭😭💔💀💀💀 Jimmy: on you go then Jimmy: 👋 Janis: Missed a perfect opportunity to go with fuck you and the horse you rode in on Janis: which is why I already dumped you so Jimmy: missed a perfect opportunity to leave with Indie an' all but I've still got the orchestra to see me out Janis: 🎺 'cos you're not funny Jimmy: bit rude Janis: have we met Jimmy: dunno, my mrs does have a very different #aesthetic Janis: lucky her Jimmy: she's going out with me, she's well lucky #duh Janis: mhmm Janis: I'm gonna politely smile 'til you go away now Jimmy: 👍 Janis: can I trust you not to spike my drink, creeper Janis: too many of my family members are congregating and I can't Jimmy: no need, give it a bit and you'll do the work of being gone yourself, lightweight Janis: fuck off Janis: how you gonna say that when she's stood right there Janis: barely Jimmy: you want me to start comparing you and her? Jimmy: not that thick or ready to 💀💀💀 tah Janis: Changed your tune Jimmy: so fickle me Janis: clearly Jimmy: keeping up with you, I reckon Jimmy: am I dumped or your #goals boyfriend bringing you drinks and whatever else your heart desires? Janis: you wanted the gig Janis: tux sadly not included Jimmy: [obvs brings her drinks tho cos needs them himself anyway] Janis: ['cheers'] Jimmy: sláinte pisshead 💕 Janis: be nice Jimmy: you Janis: I am Janis: so nice Jimmy: 👌 Jimmy: where? Janis: [😒] Jimmy: go on, get your #receipts out Janis: why are you being a dick for Jimmy: what are you on about? Janis: [😒 and an actual pout not the emoji kind] Jimmy: [gotta kiss that pout soz fam] Janis: [not soz, claim this corner lads] Jimmy: [being really nice to her rn like come back to meeeeeeeee and be my friend again] Jimmy: [I like to imagine Grace being a salty single from afar] Janis: [when you're so over this whole mood you ain't even arsed about the attention your PDA will get either way] Jimmy: [likewise only care about the bae and making this more bearable for her so soz but not soz at all actually] Janis: ['sorry' when you take a sec 'cos actual] Jimmy: ['it's alright' cos it is and not just saying it] Janis: ['it's stupid but' shrugs 'cos what can you do 'soon as they cut the cake, I swear'] Jimmy: [just snuggling her cos he'll be here as long as it takes and so much love] Janis: [just forgetting your rep and being soft for a sec] Jimmy: [#ultimategoals 5eva nobody else exists bye] Janis: ['I actually fucking love you, you know'] Jimmy: [when you're kissing her but you can't stop smiling the whole time because always gonna get you when she says that] Janis: ['I mean it' not like she doesn't think he believes her but 'cos she do and that's crazy if you ever stop and think about it which they clearly don't #nochill] Jimmy: [giving her the most intense heart eyes cos he knows and it's so mutual] Janis: [just snuggling] Jimmy: [let them have all the moments I am unrepentant af] Jimmy: [just whispering all the nice things to her like how much he loves her and how important all of this is to him etc because he could be saying anything fam its not for you] Janis: [when your face probably looks like you're #scandalized but really it's 'cos it's not saucy and that gets you harder] Jimmy: [if you didn't wanna leave before you really do now so you can just be properly alone gdi] Janis: [gonna have someone cockblock, probably one of your parents trying to talk to you like now lads okay lol] Jimmy: [rude but real] Jimmy: do you wanna just fuck off for a bit after this? Jimmy: catch a train or a lift like Janis: yes Janis: always, like Jimmy: nobody'll be at the caravan if they've all had to come here Jimmy: don't have to be there though Janis: a good base if nothing else Janis: but we can go anywhere Jimmy: 👍 Jimmy: have to drop the kid back first, change out of this shit Jimmy: can grab the dog if you're both gonna be 💔💔 Janis: can't you bring the braces 😏 Janis: hmm, maybe Janis: the less responsibilities we leave for Cass/Ian, the less arsed everyone will be Jimmy: depends, are you taking the piss or what? Jimmy: and yeah but that don't mean I'm taking the kids meaning he'll still need me to leave classic FM blasting for him Janis: Would I do a thing like that Janis: you know you still look fit Janis: 🎻 obvs Janis: don't want him to enjoy himself ever Janis: just not ban me and 💀you Jimmy: stop looking at me like that or you'll 💀 me Janis: I can't help it Janis: not my fault everything else in here is offensively 🎀🌺🌸💎💎💋 Jimmy: 💕 Jimmy: love you too Jimmy: and how impressively you backhand them compliments Janis: gotta keep you grounded, babe Jimmy: then, as I said, stop looking at me like that, babe Jimmy: #groundednotintheground Janis: you're so Janis: make everyone go away Jimmy: how many bathrooms does this place have? Jimmy: let's hide in one for a bit Janis: more than one Janis: and there ain't enough guests here that they need to be queuing Janis: come interrupt so I can show you Jimmy: [does and can because has never been here before so legit wouldn't know where to go] Janis: [off you run children] Jimmy: [someone'll come find you if they need you for birthday things and you aren't back so take all the moments] Janis: [also none of you are stupid you know what's happening so leave 'em for a hot sec tbh] Jimmy: [mhmm all of y'all have pull these same tricks at some point and we know it] Janis: [exactly dr phil] Jimmy: [do we want skerries again or somewhere different?] Janis: [should go somewhere different why not] Jimmy: [yeah I'm thinking get the train/hitchhike until they are fed up and then just get out cos destination ain't the important bit] Janis: [a mood] Jimmy: [feels real even they come back tomorrow, being gone long isn't the point either really] Janis: [exactly, it's just about leaving]

Janis & Jimmy

Janis: you're such a twat Janis: 👊🖕😡 Jimmy: bit rude Janis: what's rude is I'm stuck in biology Jimmy: tell 'em there's nowt they can teach you Jimmy: I've already done it, like Janis: gross Janis: but detention would probably beat this Janis: none of the skeleton army would be in there, at least, even if it's one of the less annoying ones Jimmy: 👍 Jimmy: not like getting sent out is any sort of challenge Jimmy: or owt you need me for Jimmy: but I'm here without my muse 💔🎻💔 Janis: school trips are forced fun Janis: but I ain't feeling sorry for you Jimmy: come on Jimmy: gimme a bit Janis: get me something from the gift shop and I'll consider it Janis: #peakromance that Jimmy: duh Jimmy: saved my tips for days Janis: 😍😍😍 Janis: buzzin', love keyrings, me Jimmy: funny that 'cause I've never seen you use a key to get in anywhere Janis: exactly, like serial killer trophies for all the houses I've violated Janis: 😈 Jimmy: 😍😍😍 Janis: Seriously though Janis: how wank is it Jimmy: what's the scale? Janis: Hmm, good question, boy Janis: assuming we're talking about quality, let's say best case is that weird thing you did that one time that felt so good you're scared to do it again and become a fulltimedeviantTM and worst case is like finishing in a sock you'd already ruined earlier and forgot about Jimmy: 😂 Jimmy: real poet you are Jimmy: gonna steal them words for my tripadvisor review in a bit tah Jimmy: it don't matter I still want you to show your face down here for me Jimmy: 🏃 girl 🏃 Janis: always the way Janis: should be making my own art but full time occupation 'inspiring' you Janis: that said, I don't think your teach is so concerned about your art suffering she'll forget I ain't in her class, like Jimmy: you are art baby Jimmy: can't call it a gallery if you ain't hanging around Jimmy: lots of other knobheads are though, get lost in a crowd and find me, barely a challenge Janis: 🙄 you are ridiculous Janis: but I get it, gotta have me on the wall asap Janis: I am really fucking bored Jimmy: direct quote me when you tweet later 💕 Jimmy: the 1 correction being against the wall Janis: performance art Janis: how bold of you 😏 Jimmy: can't let you stay bored Jimmy: ain't #goals Janis: true Janis: move fast in this place Janis: go away for one day and your 👑 is taken like that Jimmy: good thing you're such an athlete then, babe Janis: say I'm thinking about it Janis: I reckon you'd owe me Janis: more than a keyring, like Jimmy: alright Janis: you must really miss me Jimmy: shut up, I said alright Jimmy: are you thinking about what you want or just how you're getting here? Janis: maybe I wanted you to say you miss me sooooooo much and you've really shit the bed there, mate Jimmy: do you? Janis: you're alright Janis: I'm just getting chucked out Jimmy: 🏆💪 Janis: just saying, if I SOS you now, you've got no out 'cos I'm saving you, yeah Jimmy: weren't gonna say fuck off to an SOS anyway, IOU or nah, was I? Jimmy: not very romantic that Janis: 💕 Janis: always nice to use a bit of coercion and control though, however necessary Janis: keeps it fresh, babe Jimmy: 💌 got it in writing there Jimmy: you're saving me, I'll save you right back Janis: so quotable today, you Janis: you're meant to be all visual Janis: 📷=1000 you know Jimmy: keeping it fresh like you said Jimmy: besides Jimmy: [sends her a pic of a half done done drawing of her he's working on instead of what he's meant to be doing] Jimmy: 🎨 = 1000 euros easy, mate Janis: damn Janis: I'm on my way Janis: you didn't have to be actually talented and cute about it Jimmy: 💕 Jimmy: don't run too fast I've gotta finish and stick it up on a bit of blank wall first Janis: I won't Janis: even if I'll admit I have missed seeing your face about here, like Jimmy: it's the accent really Jimmy: I get it Jimmy: paddy lingo gets a bit samey when it's not !!!!!!!!!!!! Janis: yeah, your dulcet tones really do it for me Janis: what can I say? nice not having to pretend I can understand what you're chatting Jimmy: I know but tah for putting it on record Janis: you ain't allowed to put that in any sort of review, soz Jimmy: I won't, you can do better Janis: I'd say thanks for the faith but we all know you're just being cocky Jimmy: don't sound like me that Janis: no? Janis: sorry, who am I speaking to again Jimmy: 👻 lad Jimmy: cause of 💀 that brutal bit of #bants Janis: oh right, casper well can you get someone in here who is a bit cocky Janis: no offense but you're too nice for me, like Jimmy: 💔💔 Janis: see what I mean Jimmy: so demanding you Janis: yeah and what Jimmy: not part of the deal, were it? Janis: what wasn't? Jimmy: owt #ungoals Janis: do YOU know who you're talking to rn Jimmy: hang on, I'll get it Jimmy: starts with a J? Janis: 🖕 Janis: dickhead 😏 Jimmy: I do miss you Jimmy: no need to get a big head or make it weird but just Janis: I know Jimmy: do you know now's when you say it back Janis: I said it earlier! Janis: weren't you listening Jimmy: and what you're live tweeting? that character limit'll fuck you every time, gutted Janis: just saying Janis: we're even Janis: but I'll say it again if you want me to win, like Jimmy: how's that work? if you say it again I win Jimmy: it's me that wants to hear it Janis: rude that you want me to lose then Janis: but it don't feel like losing to me so Janis: I missed you Janis: more than I should, I reckon Jimmy: 🥇 or nowt Jimmy: nowt personal Jimmy: and I reckon you miss me the decent amount considering, like Janis: it's cool, I get to be #1 best gf ever and you can read about the shit job you're doing in my subtweets, like Janis: and what was that about not getting a big head? 🤔 Jimmy: do as I say not as I do, girl Jimmy: the northern approach to dating there for yous Janis: how's that worked for you so far Janis: #toosoon? Jimmy: 💔💀💀💔 Jimmy: #savage Janis: just sayin' Janis: don't reckon you should be going to your da for that advice Jimmy: too soon for me to be lining up the next girls who might fall for the looking at 'em instead of the paintings bollocks? Janis: 'course not Janis: got your pick of the art hoes, they'll lap it up Jimmy: 👍 Jimmy: I'll crack on then Janis: I'll go home then Jimmy: I'll meet you there in a bit then Janis: 😑 Jimmy: it's alright save your enthusiasm for the IRL Janis: you're so annoying Jimmy: 💕 Janis: do you want me there or what 'cos I'm out Jimmy: do you wanna be here or what? Janis: obviously Janis: sounds like a blast Jimmy: so come on Janis: don't be a twat Jimmy: join the fun Janis: awh, you think I'm not always a twat Janis: how sweet Jimmy: you might have a couple of decent mins per day Janis: 💕 Jimmy: [snap] Janis: was about to say can't say the same for you but at least you're funny Janis: 😂 Jimmy: 😘 Janis: soz to break up your suck sesh but already on the bus so Jimmy: she'll be done soon Jimmy: no energy Janis: draining yours boy Jimmy: if she ends up swallowing my soul have a word with your god for me Jimmy: weren't my fault Jimmy: 🤞 she'll spit Janis: that's exactly the kinda sentiment that's keeping you out of heaven Janis: I ain't ruining my chances, soz Jimmy: 🎻🎻 Jimmy: have to keep badgering you for that 💀 death pact, eh, Juliet Jimmy: doing yourself in still a sin, yeah? Janis: last I checked Janis: he's not doing edits still, like Janis: 'less you wanna join one of those weird ones Jimmy: 👌👍 Jimmy: #datenight is still on 🔥💕 Janis: 😂 Janis: got a whole list to get through Jimmy: [sends her a pic of that drawing of her finished and stuck to the wall cos he's a nerd] Jimmy: just wiped my to do one til you get here Janis: Impressed Janis: but only a few minutes away so don't pat yourself on the back too hard yet Jimmy: 😏 Jimmy: why would I when I've got you to do it for me Janis: not what I had in mind but alright Jimmy: gotta keep that one track mind of yours on a heavenly track, babe Jimmy: not gonna be your ruin unless you ask for it Janis: but I don't wanna talk Janis: or pray Jimmy: if you look like you're praying that might get the job done Jimmy: try it Janis: boy Jimmy: What? Janis: I'm trying to focus here Jimmy: if you ain't up for the challenge Janis: shut up Janis: 'course I am Jimmy: don't sound like it Janis: you want me to do it now Janis: I was waiting 'til I got there but alright Jimmy: alright, shut up Janis: not really feeling the randoms on this bus but you know Jimmy: hang on, I'll get the orchestra Janis: got a few stops for someone hot to get on Janis: don't cry for me yet Jimmy: but I'm so close to tears Janis: I'll get you there baby Janis: 💕�� Jimmy: #ultimategoals Janis: you know it Janis: so 🍀 you Jimmy: [tweets something extra about how lucky he is lol] Jimmy: now they know it an' all Jimmy: so welcome you Janis: 😏 Janis: so whipped too but can keep that between us Jimmy: 👍 Janis: right, coming in, where are you lot so I can avoid Jimmy: I'll do a slow mo run to the entrance Jimmy: 1 sec Janis: if anyone asks, I don't know you Jimmy: kissing strangers is fun, don't blame you Janis: try not to let on that you're that bored already Jimmy: 🤐 Jimmy: can stay between me and you Janis: can't let the fans down, like Jimmy: [appears and kisses her really dramatically only for the fans tho obvs] Janis: [sure guys lmao] Jimmy: [take your excuse to be really extra boy cos the fans are gonna love this can't deny it] Janis: ['hey, stranger'] Jimmy: [😏 and more kisses because always] Janis: ['come on then' like lead the way so we aren't just in the entrance like hello] Jimmy: [casual hand holding moment obvs he leads her to pose with the drawing cos we can pretend that's for the fans but really he wants it off the wall cos don't think its that good, oh boy I feel you] Janis: [such a proud little nerd face] Jimmy: [lowkey can't look at it or the bae so good thing he's 📷] Janis: [looks at the pics and does a 👍 too] Jimmy: [take the pic down and run to another part of this gallery] Janis: [when you're doing your best serious art appreciation impression looking at all the paintings like 🤔] Jimmy: [just loling at her cos you're already having more fun in these few mins than you have the whole time you've been there so far] Janis: [shushing him dramatically, probably making more noise than his lol 'this is a museum, show some respect'] Jimmy: [giving her a look like make me and saying 'or what?' as standard] Janis: [you know those doublesided benches they always have in the middle, casually pushing him down on that for a lap makeout moment] Jimmy: [such a mood, not soz other visitors] Janis: just getting tuts from the random old people who loiter everywhere in the day lmao] Jimmy: [doing the most to annoy them even more when he hears the disapproval cos 100% that bitch] Janis: Same honestly Janis: like don't test 'em lmao Janis: [] Jimmy: [so well suited you two] Janis: ['can I keep it?' the pic, obvs] Jimmy: [takes it out of his pocket and puts it into hers] Janis: ['big head, like' but really you just like it 'cos he did it] Jimmy: [kisses her on the head 'you can pull it off'] Janis: ['nerd' but kisses him back and it's way more soft than before when she was going in] Jimmy: [we love a soft moment] Janis: ['it's so boring when you're not there...and shit' Jimmy: ['should've taken art' gestures around with an unimpressed face 'never boring that'] Janis: ['I can see' 😏 'well if I knew there was gonna be a hot new boy, OBVIOUSLY I'd have picked different'] Jimmy: ['I get it, even a know it all like you weren't gonna see me coming, that #special, like' but kissing her neck as he says it all cos we both know he thinks she's sooo special bye] Janis: ['Obviously, new boy' #intoit and moving his hands to around her waist] Jimmy: [pulling her closer to him 5ever as he carries on] Janis: ['Okay, okay, I really missed you'] Jimmy: [makes a happy sound because can't not] Janis: [kissing his ear so she can whisper not 'cos she gives a fuck about anyone else here, clearly, but 'cos vulnerable so gotta say it quiet if you're gonna, 'it was like before when I didn't know you, or when you weren't here and I hated it'] Jimmy: [probably can't pull her any closer but tries to and holds her really tightly because not going anywhere and just the softest kisses ever] Janis: [shaking her head like pull yourself together bitch and changing the pace] Jimmy: [going with it cos he gets it being vulnerable is shit and hard]] Jimmy: [I can just imagine some art hoe putting them on her stories like she don't even take art!] Janis: [she doesn't even go here, regardless being like 'come on' 'cos take me somewhere we can actually do this] Jimmy: [should we let them actually leave? cos better option than bathrooms and the point of her showing up has been made] Janis: [why not, live ur dreams kids] Jimmy: [getting in trouble together is their thing] Janis: [hell yeah it is, and being talk of the town #standard] Jimmy: [1000% several art hoes saw them going into the bathroom and we know it] Janis: [gossipy hoes, even if none of the actual squad take it, some of their lesser friends blates do for the fashun vibe] Jimmy: [get in the gift shop after and piss about and shade their art hoe aesthetic] Janis: [all the socials lmao] Jimmy: [he steals her a keyring cos not gonna spend money but she's gotta have one] Janis: [💕 tbh] Jimmy: [now go have some actual fun and alone time kids]

Indie & Rio

Indie: where you left me to go mama?? Rio: aw bubba 😧😔 Rio: plenty of stuff in the kitchen if you ain't already raiding Indie: got my head in the fridge never over its madness Indie: 🍾 + 🍊 for breakfast innit 😂 when you lavish Rio: 😂 we on the champagne too Rio: calling a 2 drink max for you so you don't rinse 'em 😜 Indie: dont be lawin that for me too tho Rio: Bitch I is, keep up Indie: naaaah thats only a glass in each hand Indie: you got rules whenever you be but cant gimme none Rio: 😑 Rio: even you can't test me rn tho Rio: on ☁9 Indie: jam girl im playin 🍾 aint lush 😕 aint be telling mckenna that i cant hang w the poshos but fr Indie: is it? whats got you feelin higher than me? 411 Rio: not got dem mature tastebuds yet younger 😉 Rio: [Picture in the Tiffany shop] Indie: allow it i got 👅 that 💸 cant buy bitch Indie: what bling the boy tryna drop on you 👑 didnt even hear you arguing like 👏 get it girl Indie: guilt gifts be 🔥 Rio: Better than the 🚬 joke I thought you would Rio: maybe you are gettin so grown 😜 Rio: nah nah Rio: not even Rio: idk how to say it it feels surreal, like Rio: you'll think i'm playing fr Indie: innit tho 👵👵👵👵 Indie: ?? Indie: youre playing not to take me w to get a 👶 🎁 but you kno 💖💖💖 Rio: That is a good idea tho the price tag would have you shook Rio: [Pic] Rio: It's an engagement ring Rio: ahh I feel a bit sick Indie: YOUVE GOT JOKES MAN 😂😂😂 Indie: even mckenna aint that highkey he gonna proper wife you rn Rio: mad init Indie: serious? Rio: yeah Rio: promise Indie: 😲😲😲😲😲😲😲 Indie: bitch i aint wearing no dress to the 💒 tho Rio: i know Rio: but how you gon' be maid of honour if you don't? 😘 Indie: ill tax that best man role from other mckenna if you keep playing 💪😎😎 Indie: & i aint callin you mckenna now thatd be a madness of getting you caught up w that boy in convos Rio: Fine we'll discuss this later Rio: 'cos ain't like it's happening now so you know Indie: locked you down w out locking in a date i get it Rio: Yeah Rio: what do you think then Rio: honest Indie: its sick news Indie: the boy be acting right & appreciating what he got 👑👑💖💖 Rio: i'm so glad you think so Rio: thanks, babe Rio: ain't gonna make a big song and dance and tell everyone but i ain't gonna hide it either Rio: know everyone gonna have an opinion, again Rio: just can't get enough, clearly 😂 Indie: feelin the love that you spoke it to me Indie: the only opinion that counts b that he aint finding no better hoe here, in the 24 or anywhere Indie: facts Rio: You gonna make me cry and they gonna throw me out this boujee ass store Indie: wipe dem tears on 💸💸💸 so they kno you can hang still Rio: 😂 Rio: already gonna be out here wearing someone's college tuition on my finger like Rio: see why people do this more than once, get a nice collection going Indie: mckenna gon 😭😭😭 boy is soft Indie: dont let him hear you chatting bout no round 2 Rio: 😏 Rio: poor baby, don't be mean Indie: catch me getting married never i gotta live this thru you amp bitches Rio: Fair, didn't ever expect I would Indie: gon kick it old school like your nan 👶👶👶👶👶 but no 💍 Rio: 😖 Glad you out here thinking so highly of me bitch 😜 Indie: 😂😂😂😂 Indie: is you got the fear tho for reals or nah? Rio: It's weird Rio: I know it's what I want like I didn't even think about saying nah but Rio: you have every other voice in your head saying it's too quick or we shouldn't even be together at all, you know Indie: i feel it Indie: i got em in mine tryna chat against everything i tryna do all the time Indie: gotta just chat back that they bein dry Rio: Yeah Rio: you right Indie: how we celebratin this?? thats what i wanna be knowing Rio: we should go out for dinner Indie: catch me thirdwheelin over 🍝 soz baby boy 💋 Rio: shh nah, it'll be good, there are some fancy places that do food you'll actually eat so we can live lavish Indie: tell him bring a friend if he rollin w any still 😂😂😏💘😏 Rio: Not tryna get you NONE at my engagement party tah Rio: get you fill o the food tho 😋 Indie: it aint gotta be heavy Indie: been long since anyone meshed me tho so help a hoe out Rio: hmm don't be tryna play addickted Rio: i'll get you a vibrator, like Rio: not to say go fuck yourself but Indie: 😂😂😂😂 when your ma been out for the day & brings home 🎁🎁s like Rio: pah, he'd actually die of embarrassment Indie: when you out your man as vanilla tho Indie: o mckenna Rio: I just don't reckon he wants to think 'bout you meshing Rio: no offence, like Indie: back trecking like its your job baby Indie: 👀 you & his ways Rio: 🙈 den gurl Indie: too late to swerve dat 🏩 Rio: 🙄 just be thankful i never brought it to ours when we was sharing Indie: safe Indie: I kno you in your ☁ rn but when you back cos shit b testing me & dat 2 drink minimum Rio: What's up? Indie: ex-boy got a new 💘 so he tryna pass my shit back but cos i aint there hes @ the squad & they vexed @ me cos of Indie: 💔💔💔💔💔 Rio: 😔 Rio: Are the lads gonna get it or nah Rio: Don't suppose it's worth seeing if Drew still wanna be Dad of the year one last time, like Rio: may as well use him if he's offering, yeah? Indie: things been heated since the 🐕 & what of mine they are holding so like no beef to the lads but idk Indie: am i tryna text him ever tho 😒😒😒 Rio: Yeah, we'll go 'round the houses when I'm back Rio: someone will go get it Rio: don't worry Rio: we won't be long now Indie: & like not tryna still have love for that boy but aint it mad quick miss me for a few after you dash me Rio: It is Rio: but I ain't surprised, it's how lads, esp lads like that, do Rio: doesn't mean it didn't mean nothing to him necessarily Rio: could still be crying 'bout it in your inbox in a few, not trying to give false hope even 'cos fuck him Indie: i dont wanna be hurtin over this no more Indie: gotta get not bothered Rio: I know Rio: fake it 'til you make it, babe Rio: all you can do Indie: innit tho Indie: tell mckenna to buy me bling too thatll help 😂😂😂😂 Rio: 😂 Rio: 'course Indie: not saying he gotta drop a rents worth on the drip like Indie: just how much he feelin Rio: also not tryna be your sisterwife like Indie: no mood Indie: he vanilla but i aint tryna compete w your moves still Rio: Teach you but I'd have to charge Indie: hes on daddy hype too hard i cant be chattin like that to him or no lad soz boy Rio: Don't really put you in any mood but 😒? Rio: Fair Indie: why drop 💸💸💸💸 on therapy when you can spend on 🚬 its all good Rio: It ain't Rio: but we'll make it Indie: you reckon drews gon show w 👶🎁🎁🎁 or imma be repin for the fam? Rio: I don't know if that'd even enter his head Rio: tbh Indie: she could ⛔ us all in a big sweep Indie: me you & him Rio: She could Rio: I don't think she will you though, babe Rio: not like you've done shit wrong Indie: she just aint about me Indie: i feel it w her too Indie: itll b how itll b Rio: yeah but she can't be that petty Rio: even if she wanna Rio: she's a grown ass woman Indie: neither of em out here acting like they grown Indie: why she gonna start when she have this kid Rio: 'cos she'll have to Rio: unlike Drew she can't just pass it around and hope everyone else does it for her Indie: yeah but she know your ma in law got her back & your real Rio: She can't let Bea raise her kid for her Rio: or Ma Rio: anyway, she's got too much pride in everything not related to Drew, trust Indie: tru Rio: I promise, it's gonna be fine Indie: i got trust in you babe thats how im here Rio: 💘💘💘 Indie: dont be letting it slip now you got 💍 Rio: Never Indie: its chill then Indie: what we tryna wear tonite bitch? Rio: got enough trust in me to lemme pick you up some fresh garms or? Indie: hmmm Indie: cos you in a ☁ yeah Indie: theres your engagement gift ✌ Indie: do it how you gonna Rio: 😂 you know I'm good Rio: and no 👗s Rio: not taking the piss Indie: 👀 Indie: no 🤡ing Rio: would I do a thing like that? Indie: nah but mckenna will if he gets pissy you aint shopping for him 😂😂😂 Rio: We already had to treat him 'cos you know Rio: men don't cuffed 'til the day of Indie: you rode him in there say no more 🤐🤐🍾🍾 Rio: 😂 Rio: Not what I meant even but not gonna lie Indie: 😏😏😏 Indie: i been knew Rio: Keeping it unpredictable is our predictable, babe Indie: you out there vibin 😍😍😍 its a day when you can be extra Indie: make most Rio: As if there's a day when I ain't 😉 Rio: At least my Ma can't say shit to me, she was a marriage and 2 kids deep by now with Eds on the way so Indie: his gon get vocal tho man i feel it Indie: 👀 his dad @ me like 😒 how she livin Rio: I know Rio: Hoping they don't notice, like lemme forget which finger this meant to go on Rio: 😬 Indie: she gon be busy @ the business end of her sis when we hit dubs you all good 😂😂😂😂 Indie: & you could always swerve it so the 💎 not facing out when they 👀 Indie: ✌ hacks Rio: am I tryna stop a muggin' or 😂 Rio: you jokes Rio: also never wanna think about her business end thanks 😷 Indie: innit her drum not got dem thin walls like ours 🙏🙏🙏 or they aint vocal how you and mckenna do Rio: Literally can't imagine how this baby came to be Rio: but I'm chill with that, I don't wanna Indie: used that medical shit fr he aint been near her thats how i clue it Rio: i'm creasing rn and can't even explain 'cos nah Indie: serious she that bitch you tryna lips her & she gotta go shower Rio: I know Rio: Childbirth gonna break her 'less she got that c-section on lock Indie: hit her w all the good gear 🚀🚀🚀🚀 Rio: Probably wanna do it without for the brag idk Indie: o snap Indie: truuuuuuuu Rio: She gotta be ready to drop any day, like Indie: 👀 &👂 Indie: we turnin up if she want us or nah Indie: how many mckennas 👶👶s you gon have? Rio: We'll be about, can't avoid School forever Rio: and shut up bitch 😂 Indie: cmon man i kno you 💭 on it Indie: he a pretty boy Rio: nah Rio: i got a life to live babe Indie: your ma been proved you can have it all bitch Indie: birth dem 👶👶s give em posh names & send em to fancy school like they da Rio: yeah n she given me enough sibs to never need my own Rio: not to mention all your drama 😜 Indie: 😂😂😂 Indie: im a drama free zone now ty what you sayin Rio: whilst we in this postcode maybe Rio: but not for long babe Indie: nah for long imma be swervin that shit ✌✌ Indie: any postcode Rio: 👏 sounds good to me too Indie: got ink to jog me if i tryna slip Rio: yeah Rio: least you didn't get the M too Indie: like i been said id just put an a on it for that shoutout to my 3 mas baby 💖💖💖 all good Rio: there's always that Rio: if you really want you can add to it Rio: reclaim it, like Indie: hacks Indie: but i aint got no 💸💸💸💸 for Rio: I can pay Rio: or Ma would do it Indie: o yeah Indie: imma hit her up when we home Rio: Have you decided where you gonna be? Indie: mayb w bills cos she 😢💔 idk Rio: Yeah? Indie: if edie back then naaaaah Indie: or if drew been locked up can squat in the flat til it reclaimed Rio: We'll work something out Rio: I'll probably look for a new place Indie: you not gon move in mckennas dubs yard like you own that? Rio: Don't think the rest of 'em would appreciate that like 😏 Indie: other mckenna would rollin in that big drum solo gotta be dry Rio: Yeah still don't think I'm housemate choice no.1 Indie: thats her bad cos you 👑👑👑🔥🔥🔥👑👑👑 Rio: 💘💘💘 Rio: You biased Indie: nah i not Indie: im not here for drew just cos he blood Rio: Anyway, can't be presuming that's how he wanna be living, like Indie: is it? Rio: Yeah, he ain't coming here 'til October imagine if I'd legit moved myself in 😂 Indie: he put a 💍 on it how he not gon be down Rio: that's like rule no 1 init Rio: gotta make sure you've got your own taken care of in case everything goes tits Indie: safe Indie: 👑 moves be like Rio: If I really was probably shoulda said no shouldn't I Rio: kick it like his Ma Indie: if he wants a girl like his ma you need to have a convo Indie: that some freaky shit Rio: 😂 Rio: psych101 would blow your mind Indie: i aint even tyna kno what you mean Indie: old white dudes be cracked Rio: Yeah wouldn't have you buzzin' 'bout your daddy issues Indie: what they sayin bout? i wanna fuck drew now? plot twist fam Rio: you know Rio: we all do but clearly got it twisted 'cos my type ain't ever been my da Rio: no offence boy but Indie: your da be 😍😍😍 god bless Rio: have we swapped? 😂 Indie: he raised me higher than drew done so Indie: daddy caleb come thru Rio: 😷 Indie: 😂😂😂😂 Rio: Such a grown convo Indie: hoe im keepin you grounded Indie: livin that grown life 24 7 w mckenna Rio: tru Rio: it's a madness i should still be in school Rio: i feel so 👵 fr Indie: you is Rio: cheeky cow Rio: meant to hype me not wreck me 😂 Indie: he be too tho Indie: so tamed its a madness Indie: remember how he used roll Rio: well you know Rio: 😻 game so strong Indie: you no need my hype bitch Indie: you know what you done Rio: You reckon Indie: girl aint be gettin a callback you got 💍💎💎 & 💒 hype Indie: he kicked it long distance for you & he aint putting in effort no way fore then Rio: Yeah Rio: ignore me Rio: just the fear init Indie: get a new drink Indie: chase that Rio: 🍾 Indie: check your boy i bet he aint feelin no fear Rio: He wouldn't say if he was Indie: hed chat it to you Indie: that boy always talking Rio: 😂 thought you reckoned he was the strong silent type Indie: that was afore he was my new daddy Indie: now i 👀 Rio: 😏 Poor boy Rio: I'll keep it on the dl, protect his ego Indie: ill keep it uncommon knowledge to protect this roof over Rio: yeah, least wait 'til you safe in the 24 to be rude 😜 Indie: innit Rio: right, we heading back Indie: ✌✌ Indie: in a few Indie: less he wants you all to himself Rio: he already been had that Indie: he gave you 💎 you can give him a day 😂😂😂 Rio: is it? Rio: why you want air? 👀 Indie: jam ma im tryna do you & your mans a solid Indie: fore i 3rd wheel your nite like Indie: aint this bitch in your pocket & way when we rollin in the 24 Rio: hmm Rio: if you're sure Indie: trust Rio: then we'll be back with your garms and the reservation later then Indie: safe Indie: dont be doing anything i aint tryna Indie: 💖💖💖💖💖 Rio: 🧡🧡🧡

Ali & Carly

Ali: Heyo boo Ali: thanks for Rocky wrangling with me today, you're now also his fave so, add that to your tally Carly: its k i had fun Carly: hes a cutie & cool kid Ali: me too Ali: yeah, he's alright, but cocky enough so I ain't telling him Ali: dunno where he gets that from 😏 Carly: ha Carly: yea idk Carly: no clue Ali: i'm sorry Ro was being off btw, I'm working out why but trust it wasn't you, babe Ali: been neglecting her lately, everyone wants a piece of me Ali: hard life Carly: idc its me too Carly: nobody wants a piece but you Ali: I just told you that ain't true, and Rocky is ruthless, he called one of my customers a 'big bum witch' the other day Ali: no tip for me, thanks dickhead Ali: but I want all of you regardless Ali: willing to throw hands Carly: aw Carly: this town is full of big bum witches tho Carly: my ma back for one Carly: but are you willing to use those hands for good too or Ali: awks if that was your Ma, like hey gurl, I think you rock it Ali: your daughter ain't bad either Ali: you know it, IOU 'cos we couldn't make like we were in the backrow of the cinema Carly: unless she been lying about where she at i think youve avoided meeting the in laws again Carly: k cuz you kno i need to collect soon Carly: bored Carly: just back and zoned out so fast Ali: ain't even got exciting stories from their galavanting? fucking rude Ali: at least when we go AWOL we also go wild Ali: make things happen, lads Carly: my ma's good for nothing but hairspray and peroxide Carly: only use if i get beat up again Carly: my da's good for cash tho if you wanna get wild w me Ali: or you wanna single white female me Ali: which would be a disappointing outcome to say the least Ali: can't tonight babe, I've gotta have some sister time Ali: go hard for both of us Carly: k Carly: try not to miss me bad when shes talking about me Ali: oh babe, she will not, and if she does I'll set her straight Ali: gonna let the world know you're my 😇 Carly: whatever her issue shes gotta air it and youre her sister so you gotta hear it Carly: idc shes not gonna hurt me w it Carly: and setting peeps straight is the opposite of how you do, babe Ali: true Ali: idk what issue she could have though, you're a literal ray of sunshine Ali: true again 😏 Ali: ugh, imma miss you Ali: maybe i can sneak out when she's gone to bed, the 'rents too Carly: i miss you now Carly: cant hear my parents say shit Carly: i just wanna talk to you Carly: dont tell me maybe & keep me waiting tho Ali: i will Ali: promise Carly: i dont wanna make trouble for you Carly: w anyone Carly: you can stay w her if you need to stay Ali: You won't Ali: I can do both Ali: be back before first light Ali: even if I'll miss watching the sun rise on your face 😔 Ali: we've got the night, baby Carly: but you kno if ive got you for the whole night youre gonna fall asleep Carly: thats what im good at Carly: feel free to tell your sister thats why you like me ha Carly: fun & tiring its magic Ali: hmm, we'll see who wears who out first, babe Ali: and if I am that husband, then you'll just have to wake me up with morning sex like the good little wifey you are 😘😂 Carly: always bringing that confidence i like it Carly: k but if my parents wake up too you can explain its a duty thing yea i had to like Ali: i like you Ali: for so many reasons and imma show you all of 'em tonight Ali: fuck that Ali: stay out with me, its warm enough Ali: i'll trace all the constellations out with my tongue so you won't ever forget Ali: educational Carly: my ma is asking me what im blushing about Carly: i told her what you said but she's not a believer Carly: support my education bitch Carly: ha Ali: i mean, i'd offer to let her see the benefits for herself but Ali: not gonna win me any brownie points 'cos she won't take me up on it Carly: she dont kno what she's missing but i do Carly: wish you were here Ali: me too Ali: start the party without me babe, i don't mind Carly: too late if you do Carly: gotta get through this reunion some way Ali: they aren't making you watch a slideshow, are they? Ali: fate worse than death Ali: Maybe you could go to Ronan's? Lmao, he's been up in my pussy way too much since he found out about us...didn't think we were THAT loud but ok boy Carly: yea Carly: might do cuz same Carly: but what if i miss you he can really make a night of it when he wants Ali: Nah, I won't let you face that disappointment, babe Ali: my spidey senses will tingle like not on my watch, fuckboy Carly: aw Carly: you gonna come get me? Carly: thats no way to get him out your pussy babe fyi Ali: yeah Ali: I know but I like the idea of showing you off as mine Ali: but no sharing, he only gets to watch and be mad he fucked it up Carly: i like it too Carly: youre hot when youre oneupping fuckboys Carly: i thought i knew how to do it best but k youre flipping the script Ali: as long as i'm besting them i'm doing my job right Ali: gotta keep you on-board Carly: speak of the devil Carly: how he know i was alone & horny Carly: my parents have only gone to the shops its uncanny Ali: know your neighbours but bit stalkerish, pal Ali: i'll text him to fuck off, freak him out Ali: how does she know, ha, two can play this game fucko and I'm more committed Carly: ha Carly: you gotta Carly: hes smoking im gonna bum one see what line he tries to lay on before the text sends Ali: On it Ali: gotta let him know there's a queue to court the princess now and he's at the back, soz Carly: he likes hitting it from the back he wont be put off Carly: im gonna show him some of the hot pics i took of you tho Ali: when is he ever tbf? 🐶👅💦 Carly: true Carly: that fucking cute tho aren't i Ali: you know it babe Carly: hes talking to my da now Carly: kill me Ali: how fucking dare he Ali: knowing he has the upper hand with the man bants Ali: i know how to change a tire too! love me! Carly: if my ma invites him in for tea im out of here Carly: she will think hes hot under the collar for her & bitch thats my groundwork Ali: Run baby run Ali: what kinda moron is he tho Ali: coulda had a private show if you just waited, now its all saturday night telly and flat lager Carly: you kno i have nowhere to go if you dont want me babe Carly: facts Carly: he likes me now he cant have me what a fucking Carly: like i wouldve fucked you but im not getting w you Ali: i do, is this full sos crisis mode though? 'cos i need to be good for a lil while longer yet Ali: such a typical bloke move that Ali: bet he ain't the only boy in ur inbox, not a pun Ali: 'cos he ain't in mine like 🙄 Carly: its k your sister needs you Carly: i can keep walking Carly: loads of other lads on site as well as in my inbox Carly: & they arent trying to say hi to me before we get down to it nevermind my parents Ali: 😾 Carly: why so sad blue eyed boo Ali: i don't like how lads treat you Ali: i'm not jealous, like swear to god, even though i obviously want you all to myself, i get it Ali: but i'm not about how shit they are to you, even if you don't care, they should care to be decent humans Carly: thats not lads its everyone Carly: youre the only one treating me different Carly: they dont know how else to be Carly: made my bed babe Ali: nah Ali: you don't deserve half the shit you get, that's bullshit Ali: and even the rest, people just don't wanna try to understand or be good, heaven forfend they inconvineince themselves for one second, like Carly: if im a slag im a slag i dont get to put conditions on it Carly: if it was a film maybe Carly: but theres no romance coming my way from theres and i dont want it Ali: why can't you just be you? someone who likes fucking, among other things Ali: not romance just like...not being a cunt Ali: idk Ali: pisses me off Carly: cuz you don't run the world even tho you strut it like you do and i love it Ali: not yet, babe Ali: one day, and you can be my right hand woman Carly: yea? Carly: take me w you & ill take you to all your fave places k Ali: k Ali: we'll be fun forever, I promise you Carly: gotta be Ali: you know i like you even when you ain't tho Ali: don't tell Carly: who would i Carly: ronans got enough for his wank bank & nobody else is chatting to me rn Ali: exactly, ruins the illusion and fantasy when they realise i care about you Ali: so unsexy of me Carly: youre sexy to me Carly: idc what they think Ali: good Ali: me either Carly: i like you too you kno Ali: yeah Ali: i had my suspicions Carly: i dont have any subtlety sorry about it Ali: Don't be Ali: I love it Ali: not enough people say what they mean or want, ever Carly: waste Carly: k i wasnt shouting how bad i wanted to kiss you before i did but not cuz i was bothered about me Ali: agreed Ali: sometimes you can't know you want something until you've got it Ali: i get it Carly: you get me Carly: its weird Ali: 🔮 Carly: ha Carly: k what am i thinking now Ali: wouldn't be proper to say Ali: tut tut bad girl Ali: like how you think though Carly: fuck Carly: youre good Ali: 🤷 don't mean to brag but remember that phrase you'll be screaming it later Ali: such a Ronan line, I can't 😂 Carly: but true Carly: not like when he says it Ali: 😍 Carly: what you doing w your sister Carly: gotta live through that cuz bored Ali: Fixing my weave Ali: getting into a white girl dread territory over here Ali: then gonna do some 🔮 forreal Ali: get ready for me to be even more of a know it all baby Carly: cute Carly: tell me my future i got some shit from another neighbor & im waiting for it to kick Carly: hows it gonna treat me Carly: needing a good trip Ali: we'll see who gets the answer first Ali: you got anything for me? Carly: yea Carly: they mystery but i kno you arent scared Carly: & you got me doing a test run rn lying on here on the grass Ali: 🌌 be there before it fades away my space explorer Carly: if you find me at a bad end prob dont take it Ali: is one of the lads trip sitting you Carly: so he reckons but hes drinking so theres no trust Carly: & he gave me it Carly: his game could be me lights out idk Ali: keep texting me, okay babe? Ali: if shit gets too real, tell me and I'll come early Ali: my sis is cool now, she gets what we're doing, she was just confused Carly: aw Carly: youre sweet Carly: you told her you like me Ali: 'course I did Ali: I ain't ashamed Ali: I'm proud Carly: youre gonna make me cry Ali: You're special, Carly Ali: You're gonna see Carly: I just wanna see you tho Ali: Me too Ali: I'm gonna make her some chamomile tea and then I'm coming, yeah? Carly: but thats not fair to her Carly: she's not gonna be a fan of me Ali: I've promised her more time tomorrow Ali: You need me rn Carly: but what if i want you to stay Carly: what are we gonna do then Ali: i'll stay until you're ready for me to go Carly: you mean that? Ali: yes Ali: promise, imma take care of you Carly: but theres nothing in it for you Carly: youve already got me you dont have to Ali: i wanna keep you Ali: and not just selfishly Ali: you gotta stick around, you're too cool to go anywhere, okay Carly: k Carly: im here & if you wanna be im not stopping you Ali: good Ali: i wanna be wherever you are Carly: i kept you pills back the lads didnt want me to but idc about them & you can follow me in now Ali: fuck them Ali: just me and you Carly: yea Carly: ill look after you too Ali: 😇 Ali: i know, i trust you Carly: idk if you should Carly: but i like it Ali: willing to take my chances Ali: you're worth it Carly: thats you Ali: i'm so glad i met you Carly: me too Carly: not that i met me thats weird Carly: you know what i mean Ali: i got you Ali: not high yet 😉 Carly: id seen you around before you guardian angel'd me that night Carly: thats weird too Carly: that i didnt see you how i do now Ali: it is Ali: you were always cute but Ali: idk, i can't claim to have seen this in my crystal ball Carly: thats cuz i wasnt cute i was a state Carly: & youd have more likely seen me sucking ronans dick Carly: look away babe you dont need to have that image in your mind Ali: don't need him reckoning he plays part in any of my fantasies, nah Ali: you can't not be cute, no matter how you try, soz babe Carly: you can't not be so sweet to me can you Ali: dunno Ali: not tried Carly: idk what id do if you did Carly: i got used to it Ali: got no plans to stop Ali: unless you ask me to, like Carly: thats not gonna be what i ask you to do Carly: trust me Ali: you can tell me all about it Ali: 5 minutes, tops Carly: okay

Nancy & Rio

Nancy: Not to be weird, because I obviously don't mind if so, but are you wearing my clothes in your latest insta pics or have I lost my mind? Rio: Oh my God, sorry! Shoulda said before putting that up Rio: casual single white female situation Rio: I was in London and I had to stop by yours to avoid a real walk of shame... whole 'nother story, assumed it'd be alright 'cos you know, you weren't using 'em? Shipped back fully dry cleaned, swear down Rio: Not to drop him in it but shamelessly will, Buster said it'd probably be alright too lol Nancy: Well we have the brunette and redhead thing going on, already. Just don't murder me like Nancy: It's more than okay. They look great on you and they are just sitting there Nancy: Keep them if you want Nancy: I'd rather you than one of Buster's 'guests' Nancy: Did you talk to him? Rio: Last time I check, no feelings of murderous jealousy towards you Rio: Even if you do have a killer clothes collection Rio: You're too sweet! I'm nowhere near statuesque enough to rock it for serious but it was fun playing dressup, not gonna lie Rio: A little bit, yeah, as much as you can with him Rio: Has he reached out to you yet? Nancy: We should go shopping then. I'm not flooded with other offers or compliments right now Nancy: He did try but I didn't answer the call. I didn't know what to say, you know Nancy: Do I want to know what he said about me, if anything? Rio: Absolutely, always up for a style update Rio: and I promise to stay away for the red box dye Rio: Rihanna 2010 I ain't Rio: That's fair, I remember he mentioned that too Rio: He said a lot of things, some of 'em stupid which don't bear repeating but I could tell he was worried about you, checking you were okay, like Nancy: Oh god Nancy: I should've answered I just couldn't Nancy: I've already broken my own heart there's no handling if he decided to do it for me too Nancy: It was like I already hear what he was going to say Rio: No one is judgding you for not Rio: He's been guility of being unavailable for less Rio: You're more than entitled to take your time with this Rio: Let him cool down too, I put him right where I could but Rio: He's stubborn Nancy: And he thinks I'm as cringey as everyone at school does, right? Nancy: I knew it Nancy: I can't blame him really Rio: But that's nothing you don't know, you feel the embarrassment, I don't get why people think they're being clever pointing out as if its not your first hand experience Rio: He asked if you were coming back Rio: which he clearly wants, even if he's not gonna outright say that Nancy: I thought he might be on my side since he always goes after what he wants Nancy: Maybe he is though, if he does want me home Rio: Yeah, there's definitely hypocrisy otherwise Rio: I'm not gonna commit him to either side from a conversation relayed but I don't think talking to him soon will make it any worse Rio: Hoping he said all the dumb shit he needed to me instead, like Nancy: Was he such a prick to you? I'm sorry Nancy: I can't go back until those girls are far away at uni Nancy: Do you think we could convince him to come here? Team effort to get a visit? Rio: Not all bad Rio: and nothing I can't handle Rio: Yeah, reckon I might've met some of them last night Rio: and I feel you Rio: Worth a shot, I threw it out there that maybe if he came it'd make your 'rents coming less of a shitshow Rio: try and hold him to it Nancy: The ringleader is Chloe, with an accent over the e. You'd remember her if you did Nancy: It wouldn't surprise me if she was still hanging around him and his friends, she always did fancy him Nancy: Okay. I'll try Rio: Oh my God, her?! Rio: If she gave me daggers any harder I woulda been bleeding Rio: Such an unlikely candidate, no offence Chlo hun but total Rio: always the girls with the least going for them, honestly Nancy: That's her specialty Nancy: What's it say about me that I used to think we were actually friends once Rio: She looks like she can play nice when she wants to Rio: with your Brother, like you said Rio: Ugh Nancy: Yeah. She didn't want to play nice after I came out but she did a convincing enough job before Rio: Bet she thought you were in love with her and everything? Rio: What a cliche mean girl Nancy: Oh she went one better and told everyone I made a move of her, which even I wouldn't Rio: Oh, don't flatter yourself Rio: What a cow! Yeah, she's not changed at all then, obviously I avoided her best I could but she was way too happy about my drama Nancy: Like I know what I did with Sian was bad but Nancy: Please, I do have some standards Nancy: What happened with you? I didn't even ask. What a cow I am Rio: Yeah, she's not a catch, whatever way you're swinging, sorry to be a bitch but you were first gurl and that's always gonna be a turn-off Rio: Oh nah, nothing major, well, it was very dramatic but over it whilst it was happening so I'm not bothered Rio: Curtis went with me and then decided to get all huffy and try and make me leave early 'cos I was 'dancing too sexy' or whatever Rio: when I wouldn't he literally left me there, considering he drove us over, he had the hotel key Rio: Cue mad rush trying to find a place to crash and a way back Rio: Safe to say he's chucked Nancy: Oh my god! There's no words for how out of order that is. What an utter prick! Nancy: Buster better have offered you my bed Nancy: I'll kill him if he never Rio: Oh yeah, he did Rio: Offered to pay the way back but I thought that was too far Rio: Between taking your bed and clothes, like, need to at least try and sort half of it myself, like! Nancy: At least he's not a total prick himself ALL the time Nancy: Remembering some of how he was raised now Nancy: Are you in London rn still? Rio: Yeah, I'd say we can give him that Rio: Will go to his head but what you gonna do Rio: I am Rio: Toying with staying for a bit but I'll defs get in more shit for doing that for going with Curtis in the first place so Rio: Should probs get the soonest flight back now Nancy: My bed and wardrobe are yours if you are staying Nancy: Did you see my mum and dad? Nancy: While we're mentioning being in lots of shit, like Rio: I appreciate it, Nance Rio: I did my best to avoid then, and succeeded, thankfully, not really the vibe I'm looking to give out to the olders like Rio: Buster didn't seem keen to talk to them either, so they may very well be on the warpath towards Dubo and you...Soz to confirm Nancy: Care to teach me some of your ways before they end my life? I'd REALLY appreciate it tbh Nancy: Fantastic. That sounds accurate Rio: Umm, get them drunk and they'll be sleeping as you sneak about like Anne Frank? Rio: ORRRRR, whilst they're mid-air, come back to London, ha Nancy: Get mum REALLY angry Nancy: Nice subtle nod to my gayness with the Anne Frank ref though Nancy: And you're definitely onto something with getting dad a drink Rio: Say you're coming to rescue me, I can be FAR more dramatic about this breakup than I'm really feeling Rio: edge of fucking tower bridge like Rio: of course, all bisexuals are upheld in the highest esteem in my household Rio: especially brave little jewish girls Nancy: Good plan, if I can be this dramatic about a non-break up then we can make this believable I'm sure Nancy: Take the heroics from my brother too, always great Nancy: I see the bed and clothes gesture and I raise you Rio: Everyone loves a bit of sibling rivalry put to use Rio: get us both off the hook in one fell swoop Rio: Only flaw in the plan is Chloe with the accent Rio: Going to have to work on that so she's outta the way by the time you get here Nancy: I'd suggest taking her to the bridge and pushing her off but I don't need to go to prison Rio: If you thought the gay jokes were bad now Nancy: Exactly Nancy: And nobody needs a rebound that badly, least of all me Rio: They say some people go to Prison for the roof over their head and three meals a day Rio: wonder if anyone has ever gone in purely for the pussay Nancy: As a vegetarian I feel I'd have to Nancy: If only casual sex was my thing. Wouldn't have got here Rio: Yeah, it ain't for everyone Rio: at least you didn't get to fuck her, THEN catch feelings Rio: that'd be even shittier like and what happens to so many girls in our year when they do the 'casual' thing Rio: no wonder they're being salty little bitches about it Nancy: But that way it wouldn't have been all in my head Nancy: Maybe they have a point, I don't know Rio: It wouldn't make this bit any easier Rio: the actual heartbreak shit Rio: the people being cunts, less so Rio: but they'll find any reason, someone else will be the target next week, like Nancy: I know you're right Nancy: And I don't want her life ruined so Rio: Yeah, but you gotta think about you and your life too Rio: She's fine Nancy: Don't rub it in, please Nancy: I feel like my life's over Rio: I know sweets Rio: but it ain't Rio: you'll just keep going Nancy: I know I will, but I don't want to. Like I know she couldn't love me but I still want her too Nancy: It hurts Rio: Its going to Rio: for a while yet Rio: revel in it Rio: how unfair it feels Rio: 'cos its not a sexuality thing, if you were straight or she was gay or whatever the fuck, when you feel like you love someone and they just don't back Rio: that's gonna hurt regardless of the how you got there Rio: its not just because she was a teacher, everyone's been there, like Rio: Promise Nancy: I wish everyone saw this how you do Nancy: You're the best Nancy: June too but he doesn't get this bit yet Nancy: Though he can appreciate the wonders this will do for my art Rio: Gotta suffer, might as well get paid for it Rio: or A's Rio: at the very least Rio: I don't know, Junior is so guarded, I wonder if he ever will, not that I wish that bit on him but you've gotta go through it so its better to get it over with really Nancy: Especially because my Irish grades are gonna take a dive Nancy: I think he will Nancy: He just needs the right one to fall for Nancy: I appreciate how that sounds coming from me rn but Rio: Oh the awkwardness of that first lesson back is gonna be Rio: I'll deffo come Home by then Rio: I hope so, I know he's not happy hiding who he is, so I don't think he's content being alone forever, like, either Nancy: Oh god please do. I'll need all the help I can get Nancy: He won't be. He's a catch. I keep telling him Rio: Pretty sure push it any harder and I'm being dragged back by my hair lmao Rio: Totally, he just needs to get a lil confidence Rio: Not a complete personality change but just enough to give him that push Nancy: We're working on it Rio: Yay! Shame we can't be real speedy about it, get him getting a man to distract all the attention from you like Nancy: That's okay I wouldn't wish it on him Nancy: I can handle it. Sort of Rio: Yeah you can Rio: You've got this Nancy: So our brother keeps saying. But he makes it we because he's everything Nancy: *your Rio: Y'all are cuties Nancy: If you could use your influence on my brother to make him bearable I'll be your best friend Rio: I definitely cannot make promises there Rio: He goes out of his way to be un Rio: but he's alright really, I think lol Nancy: I'll have to take your word on that Nancy: Until I talk to him myself Rio: Let me know how it all works out like Nancy: Definitely

Drew & Carly

Drew: Carly Drew: I need to come over now Drew: On train Carly: k Carly: how long? Drew: idk does it fucking matter Drew: 40 mins ish Carly: i gotta clear out so yea Drew: alright Drew: do it then Carly: i am Carly: whats wrong with you? Drew: got some bad news Drew: need to get fucked up you may as well be there Carly: k Carly: ill make you feel better Drew: ha Carly: trust me boy Drew: no Drew: trust no bitch Carly: everyones out Carly: see im good to trust Carly: keeping my word Drew: tah Drew: don't invite anyone else round Drew: i don't want to fuck Carly: i wont Carly: this about her? Drew: You're jealous of Ro? Lmao, you have NO idea Carly: im not Carly: im asking for you Carly: you dont wanna fuck what else we gonna do cept talk Drew: i said Drew: get wrecked Drew: don't act like that's not what you want too Carly: k Carly: forget i said it Drew: least of my worries Drew: forget about it too Drew: doesn't mean anything Carly: yea Carly: getting that from you Drew: don't be weird Drew: don't need it today Carly: youre gonna get what you need soon Drew: i might need to hide for a bit Drew: cool? Carly: yea Carly: whenever you know Drew: good Drew: can't go back to my flat for a bit Drew: might need to move on Drew: not sure yet Carly: k Carly: for good? Drew: Yeah Drew: bridges burned, nothing here for me now Carly: they gonna come here? Carly: what you want me to say if theyre looking? Drew: Nah, nah Drew: not that Drew: Christ, I'd already be dead, that's where I've been past few days Drew: you're fine, you don't have anything to worry about Carly: Good Carly: can I come there? Carly: ill miss you Drew: I'll come back Drew: My sister will still be here Drew: we can hook up Drew: better get a new dealer for day to day tho Carly: yea Carly: fuck Drew: soz Drew: might not come to that Drew: idk what's going on Carly: what can i do? Drew: Idk, you know a good contract killer? Carly: all my contacts talk and talk Carly: whos fucking with you? Drew: no one Drew: but that's about to change Drew: you want a list? Carly: no Carly: i want you to feel better Drew: why do you care Carly: you make me feel good Carly: who does that for you? Drew: no one Carly: let me Drew: leave off Drew: i'm not in the mood Carly: anything you want Carly: when you are Drew: you're all the same, even the ones of you that front otherwise, makes me laugh Drew: tell you to have some self-respect but doesn't make a difference in the end Carly: im not hurting over this Carly: laugh it up Drew: oh, i am Drew: you're all jokes Carly: if youre trying to fight with me ill go there Carly: idc Drew: go on then 😂 Drew: what could you possibly say to make my day any worse Drew: I'd LOVE to know Carly: why do you want me to? Carly: none of your beef is with me Carly: hit up whoever else Drew: 'cos the last thing i want is that lovey dovey bullshit from you rn Drew: you said I could come to hide Drew: if you've changed your mind say Drew: don't waste my time Carly: its not Carly: you're good to me im trying to do the same Carly: if thats a waste of time its of mine Drew: no, i'm not, Carly Drew: that isn't what this is, or has ever been Drew: we use each other for personal gain, that's it Carly: yea you give me what i need Carly: let me do it for you Carly: stay here Drew: alright Drew: but that's all I need Drew: just the caravan Carly: k Drew: i only need a few days, alright, get my head fucked, then straight again Drew: i'll be out your hair asap Drew: and i'll stay on the sofa, just ignore me best you can Drew: you can keep people away for that long, yeah? Carly: yea Carly: ill put the word out now Carly: itll be sorted when you get here Drew: cheers Drew: i'm sorry okay Drew: know its not ideal Drew: got nowhere else Carly: youre welcome here whenever Drew: i don't get you Drew: none of you Carly: you know whats up Carly: personal gain Carly: i need some bad Carly: the good shit Drew: why not pay for it Drew: you have enough money Drew: what you saving for? new shoes? Carly: i got the sack Carly: whats it matter Drew: 'course Drew: nothing, nothing Drew: i wouldn't want to be anyone's bitch, that's all Carly: k Drew: 'bout 10 mins away Drew: im gonna take some in toilet Drew: can't wait Carly: dont be too greedy Drew: you'll get yours Drew: i'll do what i like Drew: my fucking drugs Carly: dont cry Drew: don't take the fucking piss Drew: you ain't paying Carly: i know Drew: had enough dealing with fucking junkies Carly: dont call me that Drew: what, grown a backbone? Drew: its what you are, darling Carly: if you wanna stay then don't Drew: might take my chances tbh Drew: doing my head in Drew: women Drew: know your bff had her baby? Carly: no Carly: she isnt my bff Drew: now, now, you're not exactly surrounded by offers Drew: though you will be taking back the flowers when you find out Carly: why would I care? Carly: nothing to do with me Drew: is with me Drew: still apathetic? Carly: fuck who you like Carly: youve wanted her for years Drew: well i got her now Drew: 25 to life Carly: thats why youre hiding Carly: she doesnt wanna play happy families Drew: yeah Drew: doubt caleb does either Drew: or her brothers and dad Drew: like i said, list is long Carly: she'll change her mind when she can't do it alone Carly: open arms for you Drew: no she won't Drew: she's not like you Carly: im not like her Carly: never having kids Drew: you shouldn't Drew: state of Drew: the way you go though you won't have choice in the matter Carly: piss off Drew: i'm serious Drew: never make me use protection Drew: doubt you do any other punter Drew: you need to take better care of yourself Carly: its none of your business Carly: im not gonna drop another kid on you Drew: yeah that's what I reckoned with Ali too Drew: like I said, don't trust any of you Drew: especially you Drew: my business when its mine Carly: its not happening Carly: you can go back to not caring Drew: No, I can't Drew: don't you get it? This has changed my entire life Drew: I've gotta leave my home and everyone I've known because Drew: even if I don't step up, she's still my kid Drew: she's not going away Drew: I've not got my head stuck in the sand or up my arse like you Drew: you'll get this rude awakening one day too, mark my words Carly: stay and be a dad Carly: theres no-one in your way Carly: and she's going to uni it'll be a part time thing Drew: Oh yeah, what a dad I'll be Drew: drug dealer with nowt else to offer but gear and a bit of dirty cash Drew: whatever she says, she won't want a kid 'round that, i fucking wouldn't Drew: and Caleb will always be in the way Drew: fuck that Carly: she cant stop you Carly: neither can he Carly: and she will want the kid to have a dad Carly: nobodys is decent Carly: be around Drew: Can if I'm a criminal Drew: they'll just dob me in when they're sick of having me hanging about Drew: it'll have a dad, she knows she's got him Drew: don't need or want me Drew: can't hack it Carly: go straight Drew: now why would you tell me to do a thing like that Drew: no more drugs for you if I'm stuck stacking shelves for a kid that calls him dad and not me Carly: youre not the only dealer, goldie Drew: i repeat, what's in it for you Drew: why you care if i'm around if i'm not funding you Carly: i wanna help you Drew: what about yourself Drew: who helps you Carly: whoever deals in your place Drew: you'll get hurt Drew: shouldn't mess around with people like that Drew: like me Carly: i can handle it Carly: nothing to matter to you Drew: s'not true Drew: you might be stoned enough to pretend you don't give a fuck about anything Drew: but i'm not a monster you know Drew: christ Carly: im not saying you are Carly: but don't pretend you care Drew: shut up Drew: of course i do Drew: i don't want you to get killed or beaten up every day 'and numbed out by the hardest stuff Drew: i only starting dealing to you so you wouldn't go to someone else Carly: its not gonna be that Drew: what's it gonna be? you'll knuckle down, get a job, get some friends, only do a bit for fun on weekends? Drew: that's not what you're doing, not where you're headed Carly: i can stop whenever i want Drew: you can't Drew: if you think you can then you're more gone than i know you are Drew: can't bullshit me on this, i have your tab, remember? Carly: fuck off Carly: im not a junkie Drew: yes you are Drew: and on the off-chance you aren't Drew: you certainly act like one Drew: do you think all girls fuck me for drugs? maybe once for a club drug but this is years now, as often as I'll let it happen Drew: and I shouldn't have but Drew: yeah Carly: don't drew Carly: dont come here either Drew: Carly Drew: I'm sorry Drew: I won't Carly: keep your sorry Carly: i wanted you ok Drew: i know Drew: i've known for a while, longer than i'd ever admit Drew: what else can i say? Carly: nothing Carly: dont talk to me Carly: stay away Drew: but Drew: i want you too Drew: i do Carly: no you dont Drew: i fucking do Drew: i just want to stop Drew: stop helping you kill yourself Carly: im not going anywhere Drew: you will Drew: everyone leaves me Carly: ive got nowhere to go Carly: this caravan is it Carly: and i cant leave you im not with you Drew: but you are Drew: you're constant Drew: you'll either get better and realise you're better than me like Ro and Ali and my own sister Drew: or you'll fuck off to be fucked up somewhere else like my mum Drew: or worse Carly: im not them Carly: im not trying to be better than you i know im not Carly: youre so good, drew Carly: i dont wanna be anywhere you arent with anyone else Drew: i'm not Drew: i'm bad but i can't stop Drew: i don't know how Carly: not to me, you've always been good Carly: looked after me Carly: you said yourself you wanted to protect me Drew: but Drew: i still gave you drugs and i call you horrible things and Drew: only see you when i wanted to, when Ro wasn't around or whatever else dirt I was pulling Carly: i ask ill stop Carly: im not scared Carly: i want you more Drew: its not your fault Drew: do you mean it Drew: will you try Carly: yea Carly: ill be better Carly: treat you better Carly: let me and youll see Drew: how do you want me Drew: i'll do whatever you want Carly: I just want you Carly: I love you Drew: I love you too Carly: be here now Drew: 🏃

Jimmy & Janis

Jimmy: 💕 Janis: feeling the love 'cos corporate making ya, hey? Janis: how many holiday drinks you made today Jimmy: feels like billions Jimmy: not the kinda wrist action to be #buzzing about Janis: here's hoping you working commission lad Janis: is any? 🤔 #hotdatewithjane Jimmy: Tam's been in and out all day earning you those kicks you desire Jimmy: #notsosecretadmirer Jimmy: can't stay away on this special day Janis: Christ, you'd think she wouldn't wanna be seen DEAD outside her house, single, on this most sacred day Janis: gotta be stringing her along with lingering just a little too long when handing over the caffeine, good job babe 👏 Janis: think Grace is lowkey in hiding Janis: too late to even frantically swipe right on tinder now ladies Jimmy: Tell her Bobby'll be round Jimmy: He would if date night wasn't past his bedtime like Janis: 😂 bless Janis: all got our cross to bear, kid Janis: can't get my date out without a leash and promises of treats 🤷 Jimmy: Speaking of bitches, I seen Mia's timed her latest for the stockholm syndrome to kick in right on time Janis: look, i know you're bitter 'cos i've chucked you for better but don't bad mouth the bae, ok? Janis: forreal tho, they have schedules, like clockwork Janis: a new man for every occasion, this one won't last 'til her bday Jimmy: Keeping my hands where Tams can't see or cuff 'em Janis: 😏 tmi Janis: and unhygienic to boot, you serve lattes with those hands Jimmy: filthy 🧠 Jimmy: it's the company you keep Jimmy: Twix's gone from trying to shit in my dad's shoes to humping 'em Janis: whoa now, i didn't teach her that Janis: but think about it, from a scatological foot fetish to just a bit of vanilla pre-teen humping of inanimate objects Janis: it IS a step in the right direction Jimmy: But you are about treating 'em mean to keep 'em keen Janis: Your kicks are safe, dun' worry Janis: if she's taught me anything, not the way into the good books 😇 Jimmy: If you wanna aim for my work shoes I won't complain Jimmy: A day off is a day off Jimmy: Warn me first though, unless you're into those kind of surprises Janis: Best not to be seen with each other today Janis: don't wanna give everyone the wrong idea Janis: but nice try, you'll have to stick to burning yaself and the like if you wanna bunk Jimmy: Tammy's bound to help me with that Jimmy: #likeagiraffeonice Janis: She's beauty, she's graces Janis: wants you to cum all over her face Jimmy: fingers crossed she'll melt mine off first Jimmy: Better with that Janis: fair Janis: no way you've got the reach Jimmy: 💕 #whenbaebelievesinyou Janis: what, you want me to offer help with target practice? Janis: nice try dickhead 😜 Jimmy: Romance isn't dead there's the proof Jimmy: What are you doing today, aside from belly rubs for the bae Janis: gotta do something, don't I? feel bad like Janis: slayed the gift game and I really phoned it in so obvs gotta give out those sexual favours Janis: nowt though, trying to avoid seeing all the lovey-dovey couples making me wanna vom Janis: letting Tam work her magic in peace 😘 welcome like Jimmy: 💔🐶🎻 Jimmy: Making drinks with my eyes closed 'cause same Jimmy: Crack on Tam #tallgirlsneedlovetoo Janis: any barista will do 🎶 Janis: wanna hang when the madness is over Jimmy: The way this queue is going there isn't gonna be goodies left to bring you Jimmy: But I'm sweet enough😎 Jimmy: So yeah Janis: Bummer Janis: guess I can't kick you outta bed for that alone Janis: let you tot up negatives throughout the day, standard Jimmy: Got a pen behind my ear Jimmy: Come at me Janis: never could resist a challenge Janis: 🙄 walked into that one Janis: can we do something not shit Janis: don't need to see you slurping down spaghetti lady and the tramp stylee Jimmy: 💔 I'll shoo away all the strays I've gathered Jimmy: Only one dog for you like Jimmy: But of course that's how we stay goals Jimmy: any old shit won't do 💪🏆 Janis: 🎻 Janis: okay good Janis: play your cards right and get it right Janis: i'll spring for the motel 😉 Jimmy: Challenge accepted Janis: for once i'll be rooting for you Janis: my parents are unbearable at the best of times Janis: 🤢 Janis: actually cannot deal Jimmy: My dad and his girlfriend are still early days enough that they can bear to be in the same room Jimmy: I won't fail Janis: oh the honeymoon period Janis: disgusting Janis: thank god we got that out of the way with a fake relationship so you know my true feelings 😏 Jimmy: yeah thanks mate Jimmy: 👍 Janis: welcome, buddy o' pal o' mine Jimmy: Done Jimmy: I've worked it out Janis: taking a particularly difficult shit? Janis: again, don't need these intimate updates honey Janis: not #goals Jimmy: 😂 Jimmy: No, what's goals is what we're gonna do, babe 😏 Jimmy: Keeping you outta the house 'til there's no cringe factor left Janis: Ahh Janis: colour me intrigued Jimothy Janis: what's the dress code? Jimmy: 🤔 Jimmy: Nothing Tam would be seen dead in Janis: Alright, no body con that shows all my worst bits, gotcha Janis: do I get ANY clues? Curious 🙀 right here Jimmy: You might just make yourself a new bae Jimmy: But pace yourself mate Janis: 😳 Janis: i don't own any PVC clothing, you know that, yeah? Jimmy: I do now 🎻 Janis: 😂 can literally hear Gracie in my head asking me what i'm like rn Janis: letting ya man down on vday Janis: honestly Jimmy: when one twin's a giver and the other's a taker 😂 Janis: tbf, we BOTH told you you'd got the wrong one but Janis: cloth ears you Jimmy: Down for the challenge Jimmy: Too late to not be a stubborn dickhead, me Janis: looks like we're both stuck then, lad Jimmy: there's that #realtalk mate Janis: can't say we didn't both give it a fair go Janis: #longdistanceloveinskerries #teenagerunaway Jimmy: You'll always have Twix 💕 Janis: gotta have someone to rely on init Jimmy: #tea Janis: #scaldedagain #jobhazard Jimmy: [Sends a selfie of an actual burn/on the job hazard] Jimmy: Stuff of fantasies that Janis: Poor baby! Has Tam not offered to 💋 it better? Janis: #slacking Jimmy: She's got her 👀 a bit lower down Jimmy: I'm just a piece of 🍖 Jimmy: The real hazard Janis: start a # about it Janis: 'cos can't blame her Janis: part of the problem, truly Jimmy: Will do Janis: being all distracting there with your apron and that Janis: asking for it Jimmy: I thought it was the shoes Jimmy: Sexy from head to toe like Jimmy: 🐶💗 Janis: 😋 something certainly got tongues n tails wagging Jimmy: 😎 Jimmy: The company I keep, I think 😉 Janis: valid, the bitches love me 😍 Jimmy: Alright, save it for the 'gram Jimmy: #humblebrag Janis: Twix is a busy lady, only got you scheduled in so far Janis: guess the fans will have to make do with your mug 😜 Jimmy: unlucky lads and lasses Janis: they love it Janis: 'til some other cunt is unlucky enough to be enrolled in our school, you're gonna stay flavour of the month 🍦 Jimmy: 💪🥇 Janis: meanwhile, i gotta wait 'til the next fam scandal 'til I'm relevant again Janis: such is life Janis: not that its ever THAT long 🙄 Jimmy: Whip up some fake drama for you to hide in if you want Jimmy: Crack 'em out with the lattes Janis: I don't doubt you're capable Janis: just getting over sinkgate 😏 Mr. Lucas never will 😉 Jimmy: 😂 Jimmy: He's one of the only dickheads who hasn't been in today Jimmy: Still time 🤞 Janis: think a milky earl grey is his shout Janis: get it ready, really impress him Janis: more than you did, obvs Jimmy: The coffee breath and forehead vein says espresso though 🤔 Jimmy: Man o mystery Janis: 🤤 Janis: so hot Jimmy: More competition is it? Jimmy: 💔🎻 Janis: Using you as a ploy to get him hot under that starched collar all along Janis: soz babes 😘 Jimmy: I should've known your real goal was to get under that lumpy jumper Janis: 😂 Janis: know he's got the goods under it Jimmy: Can't fight the feeling Janis: s'a real shame the hottest female teacher we've got is that TA with the wonky fringe and clompy shoes Janis: who you got your sights set on next? Jimmy: always been about a wonky fringe meself Jimmy: Clompy shoes are a massive bonus when Twix is being a mad bitch underfoot too like Janis: draw the line there pal Janis: gotta get the dog in the divorce like Janis: not letting that hipster bitch anywhere near Jimmy: 🥊 Jimmy: going down swinging Janis: if she doesn't scream cat lady as is, she's defs into weird pets like fucking Janis: stick insects Janis: hope you're soooo happy together like 🖕 not even mad Jimmy: 😂 Jimmy: nice to have your blessing, mate Jimmy: be my best man on the day Janis: literally fuck off Janis: only just got rid of the lesbian rumours and you wanna put me in a suit WHILST friendzoning me Janis: nah 😤 Jimmy: spoilsport Jimmy: found a challenge she won't accept Janis: only way i'm showing up is if you invite all your exes and put us on a table so we can chat mad shit on you Janis: be a man about it, boy Jimmy: card table at the back, couple of chairs so you can place your bets 👍 Janis: more like it Janis: hook up with your actual best man Janis: pure spite and alcohol fuelling me Jimmy: It'd probs be Cass so best not Jimmy: no good for the rep Janis: 😡 Janis: same tho, if i ever got hitched (ignoring the unlikeliness of that) i'd have to hit up the sibs for those bridesmaids and ting Janis: least my fam is good for numbers if not company like Jimmy: Grace has used her twin senses and is moodboarding somewhere rn Jimmy: Unlucky Janis: 🤢 don't Janis: vietnam flashbacks rn Janis: you know how many fake weddings of hers i've attended Jimmy: I can imagine Jimmy: And am Jimmy: Cute 😂 Janis: Fuck off Janis: shame your dad don't wanna be bffs Janis: can't hit him up for embarrassing pics and stories to use against you Jimmy: Another win to my name Janis: 🖕 Janis: sincerely hope you get a beverage thrown in ur face Jimmy: 💕 Janis: Wish you'da got me some earplugs Jimmy: Come on over mate, I've got loads Jimmy: #whenyourdadisdating Janis: literally Janis: at least you know its the same woman to avoid when she runs to the bog to clean herself up Janis: Pablo already on 2nd of the day Janis: Need a way to let 'em know Jimmy: Gotta have a sleepover with your real bae Jimmy: Twix'll sort 'em Jimmy: Sticking her nose in, literally like Janis: Oh that sweet curious girl Janis: some things she never need see 🙈 Jimmy: #nosybitchproblems Janis: getting dirt on enemy #1 anyway she can Janis: those bribe bones coming her way Jimmy: Happy v-day to her Janis: Maybe you and wonky fringe can have a fuck-off Janis: bet she's a right goer when you get the hair down and glasses off like Jimmy: Invite you and Mr Lucas for the post shag debrief Jimmy: Give you a /10 Janis: Naturally Janis: so curious to know how I rank 😒 Jimmy: Always a 10 with Twix Janis: 🙌 Janis: that'll help with the rep Jimmy: Me and Killer'll take the heat off with our new relationship shine Janis: yeah it loves you Janis: daft fucking dog Jimmy: Pity I can't turn the 💕 into 💰 Jimmy: Loads of lattes no will to keep slinging 'em Janis: Looking for a career change? Janis: fame getting too real? Jimmy: Got me looking like a deer in the headlights Jimmy: Tammy's livid Jimmy: There can only be one Janis: 'bout to be a bloodbath in CG Jimmy: Place your bets, mate Janis: hmm Janis: Tams got the reach like but reckon she's mostly talk n neck Janis: nan's not been in has she? 😉 Jimmy: She's serving me that 💔 while I crane my own neck looking out for her all day long Jimmy: no sign yet Janis: Gutted Janis: even she's feeling the lurve today Janis: literally no place to go Janis: so tragic Jimmy: About to eat my feelings like a proper flat white squad member Jimmy: Speaking of feeling that l.u.r.v.e did you hear how many cards Cass got sent? Jimmy: 7 Janis: WHAT Janis: get it gurl but also fuck off lads she's too lil Jimmy: walking about like its nowt Jimmy: 😎 Janis: thank god Janis: no one needs that ego boost Janis: fuming tbh Jimmy: Bobs made one at school Jimmy: guess who for Janis: Aww, bless him Janis: she does need that boost Janis: he gonna hand-deliver? Jimmy: He's insisting Jimmy: So be about Jimmy: You got one too Jimmy: moving in on my lass Janis: we in, have to kick the empty ice cream cartons out the way like but find us in front of bridget jones or similar Janis: i'm honoured like 😊 Jimmy: Yours is bigger but hers has more glitter Jimmy: Can't call a winner Janis: size matters Janis: #facts Janis: soz Gracie, gotta fight you or you'll get too comfy Jimmy: Just don't let her vlog it Jimmy: Don't need porno style #s going viral Janis: MY TWIN ATTACKED ME!?!?!?! (NOT CLICKBAIT) Jimmy: Haters, on this sacred day Jimmy: #savage Janis: Glad to keep her in #content Janis: who's the real ⭐ baby Jimmy: 🤩 Jimmy: Better than 💝 chocs Janis: the calories! 😱 Jimmy: who needs food when you can exist on ☕ and even hotter goss 💋 Janis: diet of champions that 🙄 Janis: mia be bullshitting them that she doesn't run on sheer cuntiness Jimmy: Mia? A bullshitter? 😲 Jimmy: Nope Janis: awks 😕 Janis: did you think you was forever? Jimmy: she was my fucking cinnamon apple Janis: 😂 Janis: at least i've got an excuse to fight her again Janis: try not to get in the way this time Jimmy: Will do Jimmy: 2nd rule of fight club, get out the way dickhead Janis: brad pitt in that film Janis: mwah 💋👌 Jimmy: Alright Jimmy: I got no retort because Helena, not the one like Janis: crazy bitch not your type, eh? Janis: think the masses would have to disagree 😏 Jimmy: Start a # or I'm not listening, sorry everyone Janis: he's a modern man Jimmy: 💪😎 Janis: wonder if anyone will get pregnant tonight Janis: wanna make a bet? Jimmy: yeah Jimmy: I'll put today's wage on it Jimmy: No tips Jimmy: Need them for our big 💕 plans Janis: alright, you're on Janis: here's hoping its only the tip for all the other lads like Jimmy: 😂 Jimmy: Walked into that one Janis: 💁 Janis: shame we're not a hardcore catholic school #upthebuttforjesus Jimmy: I'd have to pray meself if I'd made a bet under them conditions Janis: what can i say? just like me, showing faith in our peers Janis: ur so negative, babe Janis: like dem tests 🤞 Jimmy: don't need to be an optimist to wait for those positives Janis: we'll see Jimmy: what to I get when I win this one Jimmy: quite a streak now babe 😏 Janis: 😣 Janis: on the off chance you manage to scrape a win Janis: what do you want? Jimmy: 🤔 Jimmy: Escape route for longer than a night for starters Jimmy: Lovebirds doing my head in Jimmy: I'm thinking a weekend break that isn't #cursed like Janis: Always down for running Janis: up for it not being away from you this time 😉 Janis: bringing the kiddos or? Jimmy: Depends if they kick off Jimmy: Got time to work on bribes Jimmy: Dad's Valerie might wanna play happy families 😒 Janis: 😬 Janis: that'll be fun Janis: can't have you dealing with that Janis: at least their tales of woe whilst you were gone will be packed with that #scandal and #drama Jimmy: might be easier to take 'em amount of SOS's we'd get Jimmy: Cass blowing up both our phones before we're out the door Jimmy: fuck knows Janis: Eithers cool Janis: just leave the hardcore whips n chains at home like Jimmy: Damn Jimmy: Alright done Jimmy: If we stick 'em on their own does that make us the mccanns Janis: not if we don't drug 'em Janis: stick to sweets and other such bribes and we'll be alright Jimmy: Gonna be enough of a plan getting there without adding a murder cover up Janis: honestly Janis: not on the agenda Janis: not a nice pretty white doctor like, never getting away with it Jimmy: not the 💕 american films'd have you believe either I reckon Jimmy: Surrounded by a cloud of smoke already cheers don't need a hail of bullets Janis: yeah if #blacklivesmatter taught us anything Janis: not the ideal way to spend a weekend Janis: also, still creasing at her name Janis: such middle aged hot piece of ass vibes Jimmy: 😂 Jimmy: definitely can't promise you any of that Jimmy: but if you win, I'll 🚭 and hopefully run like less of a middle aged dickhead with a dad bod Jimmy: less of an evidence trail an' all Jimmy: win win Janis: whoa, that's awful big talk from the resident chimney Janis: you are sure you're gonna win 😉 Janis: but i accept the full Ts and Cs Janis: you should train with me Janis: not just an excuse to 👀 the dad bod Jimmy: Deal done then Jimmy: Trying to see me in my short shorts Jimmy: You'll have to catch me first like Janis: wouldn't even be fair to make it a competition like Jimmy: If you're too shit scared, mate Janis: just curious why you wanna lose so bad Janis: thinking you might love what punishment i have in mind? Jimmy: Wondering what it feels like 'cause it never happens Jimmy: You seem to be about it with all your repeats Janis: I'm going to enjoy making you suffer Jimmy: 😏 Jimmy: Gonna start a club with Mr Lucas? Janis: any time i get to spend with him like Janis: not like I wanna think up new cruel and unusual ways to get you but Janis: needs must Jimmy: 💕 cute Jimmy: I'd tell him to get his 🎻 out but we know what those hands are busy doing Janis: eurgh 😂 too far Janis: my 'rents reckon he's an actual predator, like, there are stories Janis: do not wanna commit so hard to this bit that I become his next victim forreal Jimmy: Not gonna happen babe 💪😎🐶 Jimmy: Squad got you covered Janis: My heroes 😍 Jimmy: If Twix isn't up to it my bae'll come through Jimmy: Named for it literally Janis: Reckon that was the idea Janis: or they were being ironic with it Janis: #sojokes Jimmy: either way I'll knock him out before its a drama Jimmy: as long as you don't get in my way naturally Janis: don't worry, got the sense I was born with 😜 Janis: dickhead Jimmy: Lucky you were born with it Jimmy: Some of us have neither Janis: 🎻 Janis: so what part of pretty woman you looking to recreate this time Janis: what's your artistic vision? 😏 Jimmy: I haven't seen it Jimmy: Bound to be an aesthetic montage though, isn't there? Janis: don't let my sister hear you Janis: roped into GIRLS NIGHT! before you know it Jimmy: Get the popcorn in Gracie, mine's salted Jimmy: Shout you a diet something if you keep the noise down, hun Janis: #romanticvdaynightplans Janis: i get why she got confused, you have #boundaryissues mate 😂 Jimmy: Living up to that dating a twin stereotype Jimmy: The people in my comment section DEMAND it, alright? Jimmy: #gottagiveemwhattheywant Janis: Nah, bitch, you can only play that if we're identical Janis: its not like whoops thought it was u Janis: on ANY level 😤 Jimmy: 😂 Jimmy: Oh shit the boss is the embodiment of that emoji Jimmy: Yours not mine Jimmy: Gonna have to get a room Jimmy: Ban him, that's not how I'm earning employee of the month perks, sorry lad Janis: Convenient 😒 Janis: lemme catch u in her inbox boi 🥊 Janis: jk, get to work slacker, catch you in a mo Jimmy: 🐊 Jimmy: In a bit 💕 Janis: 🖤