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rabarbarzcukrem · 10 months

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The eternal opposing relationship between the two sides of a mirror

or: In defense of Shiori

I feel like Shiori is one of the most controversial characters in Utena. Some love her, others despise her. And I don't have a problem with people having strong opinions on her character. What bothers me is the tendency to exaggerate her most negative traits, focus on her most harmful actions, completely ignore any redeeming qualities she might have and then paint her as a one dimensional villainous caricature, a mean straight girl who plays with the lesbian's feelings for the sake of it, without anything deeper going on.

I'm aware of the fact that some people refer to her like that in endearment or in a satirical fashion, and I'm not saying that you can't consider her your favorite problematic evil girl representation. I'm only trying to make people realize that it's her complexity that actually makes her such a compelling character.

I've seen people call Shiori all sorts of names, some of which were baffling enough to make me wonder if they even remembered what happens in the show, and weren't just judging a version of the character that they made up in their head.

So, let's look at the things Shiori actually does, throughout the course of the story.

Disclaimer: I'm only going to take the series into the account here, because I think we can all agree that everyone's characterization and personality differs at least slightly in the movie. Background characters also get a lot less screen time to explain their motivations in order to fully focus on Anthy's journey and struggles, which is understandable.

1. She "steals" the boy from Juri.

This is her biggest crime, which seems to define her from the very beginning. Even though Juri didn't actually have any romantic feelings for him, this action is detrimental to their relationship - it breaks the trio apart, isolates Juri from the pair, is an act of betrayal against her and proves it was done with full awareness that it would hurt Juri emotionally.

Shiori is a deeply insecure person, who constantly feels inadequate and beneath other people. The only reason why Juri seemed to actually like her that Shiori could think of was pity, and even when she found out she was the object of her romantic affection all along, she still struggled to comprehend it. Her self loathing and constant perceived inferiority make her desperate to gain any sort of control over her life and relationships, but they're also the exact reason she feels that the only way she could ever do that is by hurting others. She's always one step below and incapable of crossing that distance, therefore the only way to become equal to people is to bring them down to her level, by humiliation.

When she "steals" the boy from Juri, she achieves that. For a moment, she feels good about herself and leaves Ohtori thinking that she has found the answer, the solution. But she's wrong. From that moment on, it becomes more and more apparent to her that what she did was never out of love for the boy, even though she doesn't let herself acknowledge it fully. Because the truth is, Shiori actually regrets hurting Juri, which she admits herself during her elevator confession.

When the guilt starts getting to her, her confidence high wears off, and she ends up feeling ever worse.

That's why she breaks up with him and comes back. She's not ready to leave yet, not ready to progress. There's still something binding her to Ohtori - Juri, and Shiori's unresolved feelings for her.

2. She tries to set things right with Juri and to fix their relationship.

Even though at this point Shiori still thinks that Juri only ever associated herself with her out of pity, she still makes several attempts to get closer to Juri, who understandably (albeit coldly) turns her down ever time. This is a very clear sign of conflicting feelings Shiori has for Juri - jealousy and admiration, resentment and longing, hate and love. After all, Shiori admits that the two practically grew up together. Their friendship may have always felt fake to Shiori, but she clearly cherished it deeply.

3. The Black Rose Arc.

First of all, we should establish what is the purpose of this arc and how it functions. It explores the motivations of background characters and shows their worst side to the audience. The characters that end up in the elevator are the most unstable, vulnerable ones, with the least power in the system, in unequal and/or exploitive relationships with the duelists and their agency under threat. Mikage offers them a way to gain that power by making them follow their most toxic, negative emotions. And despite all other characters doing exactly that, from what I've seen Shiori is the one that gets the most hate for it. I don't think she should be judged any harsher for what she did under the influence of the black rose than, let's say, Wakaba or Kozue. Especially because the reason all of them ended up in that elevator is because they recognized that these urges were harmful and were seeking help and counseling.

What this arc does do is reveal how Shiori's inferiority complex drives her to act against her own desires. Even though she longs for things to be different, even though she is not happy at all with how her relationship with Juri looks like, she is unable to fix it, because that would require her to consider her own affection for Juri. And she can't do that, because it would mean admitting that she's not stronger than Juri, that she hasn't beaten her, that she's doesn't have control and an advantage over her. Although she tries to keep up this smug, self-assured facade, the reality shines through.

They key to understanding Shiori is noticing that she specifically doesn't want to acknowledge that Juri's feelings are reciprocated, and the obsession is mutual. If you paint their relationship as one sided, you're actually falling for her act.

4. She enters a relationship with Ruka.

Ruka is a handsome (arguable), respected boy who appears out of nowhere and starts showing interest in Shiori. It's obvious that for an insecure girl, who in addition struggles with confusing repressed feelings, this would be something unthinkably wonderful. The affection and praise she gets from him is exactly what her low self-esteem craves. You might be wondering why she didn't perceive Juri's feelings for her in the same way. And a part of the answer might be that, post nameless-boy-incident, Juri was nothing but cold to her. She might have been pining after Shiori from afar, but in the end she's distant and untouchable, and they're divided by their messy past. Meanwhile Ruka is a clean slate, seems openly affectionate, engaged in their relationship and he pays attention to her. But I think the main thing that makes Ruka so different from Juri is the fact that...he's a boy. Because, as Revolutionary Girl Utena establishes, gender plays a crucial role in interpersonal dynamics. Attention from a boy is fundamentally coded as romantic, desirable, necessary and most importantly: increases the girl's worth in society's eyes. It makes one a princess. Meanwhile Juri's advances could only be seen as an invitation to friendship, at best. But Juri's status and beauty make her special, while Shiori is not. Therefore, it can only be pity and mockery.

Of course, Ruka only uses Shiori to influence Juri and dumps her as soon as he achieves his goals. It's true that Shiori could have listened to Juri's warnings, but then again... why should she? From her perspective, Juri's her ex-friend that doesn't want anything to do with her, who only suddenly comes to Shiori when she's finally happy and fulfilled, and encourages her to end it. She doesn't know the wider context of the situation, nor does she remember the Black Rose arc. Juri's warnings don't sound sincere to her.

And so, Ruka gets rid of her in the coldest, most indifferent way, not explaining anything or showing even the slightest sign of compassion. Before that though, he makes an interesting remark, about Shiori putting on an act and polishing somebody else's sword.

Honestly, I don't really know how to interpret it in any other way than Shiori actually having feelings for someone else, despite trying her hardest to conceal it. Are my shipping lenses not allowing me to see any different possibilities? Am I going crazy? I don't know.

Nevertheless, Shiori begs him to stay, devastated. Her life got turned around so suddenly, she found appreciation, status, comfort and stability, and now all that's been taken away from her as abruptly as it was given. It's a public humiliation.

I once heard someone say that this would be the perfect moment for Juri to step in and defend her. And to be honest, although it may be true, I'm not completely sure. It may have been the one display of open care that Shiori needed from her, but it might as well have been interpreted by Shiori as Juri affirming her superiority over her and feeling sorry for her again. We will never know. In my opinion, so much of their relationship is going on in their own heads that the only thing that could ever cause positive progress is communication (which neither of them seem to be a fan of).

Instead, Juri only tries to console her after the fact, when Shiori's at her absolute lowest. In the context of all the assumptions Shiori holds and Juri's previous indifference, it quite understandably comes off as a sneering attempt to gloat.

That's about it. You may have noticed that I've summarized all Shiori's appearances into 4 points, and only one of them includes an instance of Shiori hurting Juri voluntarily, out of her own free will, not influenced by anyone. I'm not saying that she was forced to taunt Juri during the Black Rose Arc, I'm not trying to diminish the suffering she's caused or trying to paint her as a perfectly good person. I am trying to make it clear that she is not some cunning plotter, dedicating every minute of her life to finding ways to make Juri suffer that some people seem to take her for. I am trying to humanize people's perception of her a little bit. Especially considering the fact that last scenes of her include those when she waits for Juri and follows her so that they can go home together, and then joins the fencing club. If this doesn't show that she's capable of change, I don't know what does.

She's not an innocent princess, that's true, but she's not just an egoistical, manipulative liar either. She's a bit of both. After all, if Revolutionary Girl Utena is supposed to teach you anything, then I think it's that we're all just people, and the complexities of human experience make it impossible to fit anyone into a box, assigning them definite labels like "princess" or "witch".

And if you look at a teenage girl who, like all people in Ohtori, struggle under the system of patriarchy and heterosexuality, and all you see is a wicked, sinister witch, then you may have just fallen into the trap that the narrative had set for you.

#Shiori: I may be pathetic but you're the one who fell for me lol #no fr you don't need to make up reasons to hate shiori there's plenty enough right there in the text #rgu #revolutionary girl utena #shiori takatsuki #juriori #I guess #she's so fucked up I love her #like girl feeling delighted after finding out your bestie has a crush on you is not very straight no matter how you justify it #moje

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dontbotherwiththepronunciation · 1 year

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The narrative didn't doom me, it just ditched me

Warning: There will be mentions of upsetting content like sexual abuse, bullying, xenophobia and manipulation. It won't get graphic and it won't be discussed in-depth but it will be mentioned.

I've been thinking a lot about my attachment to Jeyne Poole and I think I cracked the code or at least I’m cracking the code.

So, requirements to become a "The narrative didn't doom me, it just ditched me" character:

Involve some sort of metanarrative irony, can be intentional or accidental

Being archetypal to a secondary or tertiary character, but written with depth or relevance to the story

Becoming obsolete. Be it by an adaptation, the narrative, or the fandom's perception. This person doesn't matter.

I listed four examples under the readmore

Wakaba Shinohara

(look at me, a non-practicing pseudo-intellectual talking about RGU)

Mother of all mothers! She is the blueprint!

She is the only secondary character who doesn’t appear on the opening of the show. She is average looking to the point you could pass her as a background character compared to all the other prominent characters in the story, as a student she is average, she has no special abilities or talents and the nicest and most personal compliment she gets is Utena (Wakaba's best friend, but not a feeling that is reciprocated) telling her she'd make a good housewife.

She has an entire episode dedicated to the Angst of being a satellite character and even after that episode which shows the tragedy of her story being a sideline, she remains in that sideline.

Wakaba's only sense of self value comes from her being close to the people the narrative deems as more special and since Utena has been distancing herself a little from her because she is growing closer to Anthy, being suddenly able to keep bad boy renegade (actually cringe fail loser) Saionji dependant on her transforms her into a protagonist. Suddenly she is the one being called pretty by Utena, she is getting better grades, she is being above average. She has something that makes her special!

The saddest thing is that she had already been pivotal to Utena's narrative development. During episode 12 she is the one who triggers Utena into reclaiming her Princehood and duelling Touga, but she is not capable of seeing that as something she can call her own.

And then during the masterpiece that is "Wakaba Flourishing" we see her confronting those insecurities and feelings of inferiority once she realises Saionji will leave her too and discard her!

She duels Utena, intends to kill Anthy, who se believes is the one behind her losing Utena and Saionji's attentions, loses to the protagonist who loves her, but not enough to make her become special too...and then....

Wakaba goes back to her dorm room, now empty of Saionji who no longer needs to live at her place, and we viewers are destroyed.

She returns to her cheery, poppy, apparently happy-go-lucky self, but we know what lurks inside her.

It's funny because the narrative likes playing with her. On the one hand she is special! She is the one who gets Utena out of her depression in episode 12 and she is the one who saves Utena & Anthy at their escape in the movie. But then again, there is only one episode centred on her, right? And that episode ends once Saionji leaves her. She loses the spotlight as soon as a more relevant character distances themselves from her.

The fact she hasn't appeared in any of the post-show/movie mangas, while other show-only characters have, is heartbreaking and hilarious.

Sorry Wakaba, you are lovely but you don't make the cut, go listen to some Penelope Scott, her lyrics are a bit curt, but still, it couldn't hurt.

Heather Matarazzo in her iconic role as Dawn Wiener

Beloved...

Dawn Wiener is the main character of Todd Solondz “Welcome to the Dollhouse”, although if compared to most coming-of-age protagonists, she is quite depressing.

At school she is bullied, at home she is neglected, she has no friends, talents, or self esteem and the few times she stands up for herself things backfire. She is not always loveable either. Dawn feels dangerously envious to her little sister Missy, who is everything Dawn is not; beloved and beautiful.

As we see her grow up in the movie, we come to the realisation that, it doesn’t matter how much she tries, things won’t get better for her.

Dawn Wiener ends her introduction movie as a perpetual loser who has somewhat decided to conform to her place as an underdog who will never find acceptance among her family or peers, partially because of her looks, which are seen by most as ugly. It's more one of the first scenes in the movie has a young girl bullying Dawn in the bathroom and when Dawns asks her why, the girls responds "Because you are ugly."

In the spin off movie "Palindromes" it is revealed that her adulthood wasn't much more different. She went to college, gained weight and acne and killed herself after becoming pregnant by date rape.

The entire motif of Solondz cinema can be explained within the lines spoken by one of his characters at the end of the movie:

"No one ever changes. They think that they do, but they don't. If you are the depressed type now, that's the way you'll always be. If you're the mindless happy type now, that's the way you'll be when you grow up."

Surprisingly in another spin-off of "Welcome to the Dollhouse", "Wiener Dog", Dawn finds a happy ending. She has a stable and enjoyable job as a veterinary and is rekindling a relationship with her love interest from "Welcome to the Dollhouse", Brandon. Their last scene shows them happily talking about their future while holding hands.

So it probably sounds weird whenever I say this is a much sadder and depressing ending than the one where she commits suicide.

And I stand by that, because there is a fundamental change in "Wiener Dog".

Dawn's actress, Heather Matarazzo, has been recast by a more conventional-looking actress who is much more fitting into the female ideas of beauty Dawn was told she could never become. If anything, her new actress looks more similar to Dawn's little sister.

The fact that Matarazzo wasn't informed of this, and only came to find out that her most iconic character was now being portrayed by conventionally attractive and successful Greta Gerwig through Twitter, while she was struggling to find roles that actually allowed her to act instead of just being cast as a insulting comedic archetype, like the abhorrent admirer, is the final gut punch. She felt deeply hurt.

Also, just wanna add, the entire movie (Welcome to the Dollhouse) is on YouTube for free but it’s a VERY upsetting movie. It’s hyperbolic in its dark comedy without being edgy, and it is uncomfortable because somehow it still manages to be cruelly realistic in its themes of bullying and abuse. I’ve only watched it two times and, now that my depression has gotten stronger than ever, I sure won’t watch it again.

Jeyne Poole

♪ A terrible mistaaaaaaake was made... ♫ I love that song for her because it fits her in and outside the story.

On a meta-level, I think she is the most tragic because it's accidental. The two former examples were written and portrayed with the intention of making us feel their tragedy. This is not poor Jeyne Poole's case. I genuinely get anxious when thinking about her or how she is treated by fandom because her case is real. She is one of those things that make me worry Solondz might be right in his cynical views of the world.

She is a book character so I can't put pictures of her without stealing art but also this entire thing is about characters being treated like shit by the narrative in order to drive a point, so hahah Jeyne! You don't get a picture! (But you get links because I love some people's art (1) (2) (3) (4) (5) and I'd feel too bad about being mean to her)

The show played a lot with my hopes involving her. She appears in one episode only and has no lines. Later on she is mentioned by name by Sansa Stark, a main/POV character who is a friend of hers and who she considers to be more beautiful. After that we never hear of her again.

This could have worked, had the show stayed loyal to the source material.

In the fifth book of the series, it is revealed to the readers that she is being passed off as the daughter of an important House, Arya Stark, so she can marry the future lord Paramount who is a sadistic monster. Her new husband abuses her terribly and while there are a few political factions opposing her husband, who intend on liberating her, this is only because they think she is Arya Stark, since no one would care for her misfortune if they knew who she truly is.

Jeyne Poole, a character who is deemed as "not important of risking your life for" gets someone to risk his life and, more importantly, his skin in order to save her! Not Arya, Jeyne! Theon, former childhood co-habitant now turned into co-victim co-perpetrator, saves her. The show adaptation decided she was not important enough to appear in the story, and replaced her with Sansa Stark, a main character the audience already felt attached to, who was from a nobler house and considered to be more beautiful. Jeyne's plot was given to the girl she sees herself as inferior to in the books. Her plot was deemed important, her impact was deemed important, but Jeyne herself was not.

She is tragic, there is a reason she is here too, but at least in the story she still has a chance at happiness. In the fandom though...yeah, she lost the war, even worst there wasn't a war. Look at the number of fanworks tagged as ASOIAF involving the Sansa-Theon-Ramsay constellation, compare it to the number of fanworks tagged as ASOIAF involving the Jeyne-Theon-Ramsay constellation and you'll find evidence to that. It gets even funnier when the show constellation and plot line stays intact in fanfics, but she is still added in order to transform her back into Sansa's token best friend with no political relevance and no connection to Theon or Ramsay.

The books' author, GRRM, spoke about being upset by the change done on the show, but in truth I don't have many hopes for Jeyne Poole and considering how he is a slow writer and I am very ill person, I doubt I'll get to witness Jeyne P managing to escape this list.

Sorry Jeyne, you weren't doomed, just ditched. Sucks to be you I guess.

Areida

The least tragic in story and development, but still someone who (sadly) deserves to be here.

She is a book character and given how this book doesn't have much of a fandom there isn't any official art of her, but I like these: (1) (2)

Similarly to Jeyne, she suffered in the adaptation, but then again, who doesn't?

Her book counterpart was given a more in depth characterisation. She was an immigrant, came from a poor background, spoke with a strong accent and was described in a manner resembling someone of African ancestry (dark skin, box braids). In the movie it is implied she might be from another country or ethnia, she is played by an Indian actress, but her accent is gone, her hair is straight and we don't get any characterisation or background on her. Her friendship with Ella is downplayed and Ella only starts her quest after being forced to tell her she can't be friends with her anymore and making a xenophobic comment. In the book, Ella parts on her quest so as not to have to obey and break their friendship and that conversation doesn't take place. In the books, Areida's pain matters and it is Ella's unwillingness to hurt her that sends her to search for Lucinda, the fairy who gave her the gift of obedience, so she can remove the curse and won't be forced to ruin her friendship with Areida and cause her more distress. She runs away from finishing school before she can break Areida's heart. And even after their separation, Ella still thinks of Areida with an endearing fondness and tells her future love interest, Prince Char, about her.

In the movie, there is an emphasis in showing Ella's pain and their reconciliation isn't shown, but we are supposed to assume they did have a reconciliation because Areida is seen at Ella and Char's wedding. Areida is reduced to become an unconditional sidekick whose feelings aren't important in the grand scheme of things. We don't see her break down crying after hearing her supposed best friend make a xenophobic comment about her, not how lonely she must have felt afterwards, nor how their conversation once reunited went. She is only Ella's friend, not her own character.

The irony, Ella's quest being triggered by Areida's feelings is turned into Ella's quest being triggered by Ella's feelings because neither the audience, nor the narrative, nor the people making the movie care about Areida's feelings, something the novel has been trying to portray as wrong multiple times.

The adaptation of Ella Enchanted (which I only watched two days ago because of curiosity and oh god why did they whitewash Char??? WHY IS LUCINDA A RACIAL STEREOTYPE???? No wonder my parents didn't let me watch Disney movies! they suck!) was so different from the book that talking about them as one almost feels wrong. Had they gone to claim the book was the inspiration behind this movie, that would have been alright, but as an adaptation, it's quite horrendous. I can understand why they made the changes they made, but given how the movie has overshadowed the book in popular culture, and thus it is Movie!Areida who people might remember, I still have to let her stay here.

So, yeah...I think this is it. It's the irony and the pain behind the irony. Yeah...

#anthy himemiya is kind of the anti-character to this because she was doomed by the narrative until SHE DITCHED THE NARRATIVE #amazing I love that for her #Vale hasn't read Ella Enchanted and Tânia doesn't like Solondz (honestly good call. based)#So I don’t know a single person who knows all these characters so this is kind of pointless #but sometimes this type of stuff is at the very least distracting #speaking #fandom related #the narrative didn't doom me it just ditched me #Wakaba shinohara #revolutionary girl utena #welcome to the dollhouse #todd solondz #jeyne poole #asoiaf #Ella enchanted #Gail Carson levine #literature #Spotify

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tomyo · 2 months

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A silly post that turned into an essay on:

The Adolescence of Utena 🌹

So I feel like a lot of people generally agree that Adolescence of Utena is a continuation of the tv series (another revolution) and honestly right now I have kind of hazy memories of wanting to discuss the parallels of Utena and it's movie with Evangelion and it's movies.

However right now I'm mostly thinking about how AoU is kind of like a cancer. I don't know what word to properly use, overgrown, oversaturation, a virus but it is pushing things to the extreme with it characters. Now yes that's also because it's a movie but like there is a lot more explicitly to character relationships. When people have described the school as in decay but I think you could also look at it as the stretch marks of it suddenly growing beyond its shape (a puberty like sudden growth). If the space, the mob, the plot and the characters were all acts in a play then they have been boiled down to their essence. I'm specifically thinking of the instance where Anthy bursts the pipe for the dance scene and how empty everything feels outside of them. That the old rose garden is this forgotten relic and the new rose garden is the center stage shining above all else but unsafe with hidden ledges and no railings. There is no housing for the roses almost as if they are wild flowers that grew where they pleased.

I always liked particularly how Anthy was very forward in this. She doesn't seem aware of her previous life but she is much more in control than the last one. It's not good, it's not right but she is somewhat consensual in the incest. In a sense she catches previously always in control Akio of guard leading to his panic and trying to regain control by erasing both of them. Akio himself even is moreso the cliche of a playboy this time, extremely open with his sensuality and a cliche of a 90s heartthrob. I think there could be a statement to say it's also a good representation of complex trauma and grief. The pre opening credits start on what looks like it could be the moment after Akio killed himself which then jumps through the school to Bride Anthy kneeling before a younger looking Akio which previously represented his original chivilary and the concept of a prince (also in a sense a glorified image to idol). The scene could be read as a triggering moment where Anthy becomes chained to upholding her brother's legacy, a feeling that is disorganized from both grief, trauma, and a complicated love hate for her brother who was her abuser. The siblings in other media are implied to be gods and with Akio gone, Anthy is left to both uphold his part as the mastermind while also being the bride. She is baring a heavier load.

I would say AoU is much more about Anthy than Utena. The overgrowth could also be similar to a sheltered child to is given control. They go a little overboard. She seems both exploring the freedom to control the space but also falls back into her role and will go from her playful run to Saonji to still and emotionless when he caresses her face. It's like this switch between knowing she can do what she wants if she wanted to and then regressing into guilt over being "bad" for falling of from what she's expected to do. At points it almost like she wants Utena to punish her for perceived wrong doings. When they find her brother's body she buried she seems maybe annoyed but not worried or defensive of her actions, keeping focus on having Utena do whatever she wants with her. That in itself in a thing; I would say to some extent tv Anthy is meant to come off as an ideal Japanese wife, someone who has strong integrity but is subservient and a half step behind her husband at all times. AoU Anthy is much more openly willing to please her betrothed like a service top. (something something cool girl monologue) She's compensating for her failure of her role to her brother but also trying to reclaim her sexuality as her choice. When Saonji takes a kiss from her, he is guiding but she is not hesitant to do it.

When it comes to Utena herself I would say she is passively influenced by Anthy while also driving Anthy's eventual rebellion. Tv Utena I'd describe moreso as tomboyish, she sports a men's uniform top but the pants relate to neither, a third option, where her hair is still worn long. She would not be mistaken for a boy but things like her becoming more feminine was an active manipulation by Akio. Again as almost to overcompensate, AoU Utena is comedically masculine and assumed male at first, her little side cap always go to me since it had become uncommon by that point so it came off somewhere between looking like she was a cliche delinquent or like she was cosplaying a male student based off of out of date knowledge. It's like the step to far into trying to present masculinity when you're first trying(I had to take a moment to cringe recalling wearing cosplay pieces to class when I first started trying so myself but all my suit pieces where mismatched). I might go into that more later though. I'm also a fan of the dub so I haven't heard the tv original but Utena uses Boku in the movie, a masculine pronoun. While she tries to prevent Utena for falling into the narrative at first, Anthy seems to switch back into her role the moment a spectator catches them, Saonji. However upon learning that Utena is a girl is the moment that Anthy asserts her own agency fully, she is now lowered to reveal her chest but willing bends back to reveal the sword.

Anthy specifically has two foils in the movie; Utena and Touga. Anthy and Utena are mirrors or grief for the prince they lost and are following in the shadow of. Utena's rejection of femininity is to replace the loss of Touga she's in denial of much in the way Anthy plays the mastermind to hold onto the image of Akio. However like Anthy who has to play the role of a bride/princess, Touga's narrative is also about how he had to please others in much of the same way. He was literally sold off (like Anthy is won) to be a son and sexual victim of his adopted father. From additional materials it's been said his trafficking is a constant and in part willing in order to protect Nanami from targeting. His appearance was decided to the preference of his abuser, played the part of a heart throb for many women, and was the idol for his sister and best friend. People pleasing it less overt than Anthy's. When with Shiori, he is depicted as a receiving and giving lover; exchanging intimate acts of ear cleaning and painting ones toenails. It mirrors the same almost motherly but sexual nature Anthy presents to Utena; willing to bare Utena's anger by lovingly nuzzling her hair.

Again I got to cut away to say the dance scene always causes a panging in my chest Knowing how those roses falling with the song lingering on into the following day was meant to absolutely stun theater goers 20 some odd years ago. Its gives me this indescribable longing when it fades to the next scene every time.

Back to plot stuff, the stair scene is a great metaphor for how Anthy is pushing Utena along. Up until that point the story has been; the two meet, Anthy chooses to help Utena win her, she offers herself explicitly but is rejected, and then coyly flirts with Touga to rile up Utena. I would say at point Anthy's attitude is representative of a pushy girlfriend. She keeps trying to make Utena fall for her, first passive but explicit and willing to lead, gets rejected so she ignores Utena's command to leave in favor of diverting her by discussing her clothes and reengaging by intimately laying into her, and then once again taking being pushed away in stride. Being very casual and giggly with Touga feels out of character in the way it feels intentional to make Utena jealous. Albeit instead it pushed Utena to crack over Touga being different who is where is current affection lies (it's hard to love someone else is you haven't let go of who you lost). Before the full confrontation Anthy almost seems depressive, one of the scenes resembling her TV suicide attempt. While Utena is at first aggressive and distrusting of Anthy at the start of it, it seems like the moment of honesty was at least some step towards intimacy (emotionally) that Anthy was grasping for. (Haha man I could also get distracted talking about Utena being the hilariously accurate example of a clingy affectionate butch but that's really off topic) Utena is finally engaging with Anthy encouraging her to assert her dominance more. They're obviously drawing partners, she doesn't need to ask Utena to come along because she just will if she doesn't give Utena a chance to argue, and she has domain over where they can go in the school.

To be real at this point I'm watching subbless Japanese to remind of me stuff so I don't remember Utena's full ramble (I think some friendship speech like girl) but you can tell by the fact that Anthy is letting her image slip by willingly changing her body language to suggest boredom or annoyance. She shifts from passive posing into something more confrontational as she chooses to force vulnerability with Utena again. Anthy previously would've easily held position as expected of her as an obedient bride especially this one who had been frequently painted by her brother. She not only 'switches positions' on Utena but chooses to take on the role of the viewer that she was often denied and uses Utena's own words against her to convince Utena to be naked for her (I mean emotionally as well, Utena's whole speech was suffocatingly formal again to my vague memory and basically full of shit). To be naked in front of someone in both senses is to also be trusting of who is with you. Utena is being put on the spotlight by Anthy; a large empty but public room with big windows and planes taking off outside, the exact place our instincts tell us not to be naked and vulnerable in which adds to Utena's stress. However I'm certain Anthy is navigating Utena into making it seem like she was asked to do the same. She brings Utena to a space that will inadvertently reveal aspects of her relationship with her brother and in some part she wants to be 'forced' to show the hole in her chest, the scar and trauma he gave her.

Returning to the emotional complications of Anthy. The turmoil of abuse does not end when the abuser is gone. And like I said Anthy seems stuck between wanting to change and punishing herself for changing anything out of guilt. She feels the responsibility of her role but also eats into the idea that she is the 'witch' of the story, not just from how that's what others tell her to be but how she sees herself as the cause of misfortune. "The curse of the Rose Bride" is having to live on with the scar and work that her brother offloaded onto her. The ugly truth's about her personhood including the things seen as moral event horizons. One could look at her constant provocation of Utena is to spur either the rejection and disgust she believes she deserves or to find receive acceptance that she does not believe in. Someone loving her like the way *the idea* of her noble brother did. The sight of Dios to me is in a way to say "a person who cares for you in a noble way.". It is the sight of someone who won't exploit her. And at that is interrupted by the truth of her brother's dead body. So she runs, literally tries to step away from all the progress she's made.

So two things we gotta stop to go over, the character design and the term adolescence. At this point I'm retroactively making my thesis be the emotional haywire we experience from two types of major life events, the growth into individual personhood away from our caretakers, adolescence and the processing of trauma and grief. Obviously I went over grief so let's get to adolescence. So tons of people have said it better than me that the whole egg quote is also represented by the school, highschool is the final barrier (shell) to adulthood. The point of being born outside a proverbial womb that one must be strong enough to do for themselves. There are many ways teens think they are mature enough when they actually aren't and blah blah highschool isn't the end of your life. Growth is not always a constant progression forward and you can easily fall back into a childish life. I remember feeling more adult at 18 than I did at 21. TV Akio's failing to grow came from the fact that he wanted "power to revolutionize the world" but did not want to bare the responsibility of the swords which in context represent the anger of all the duty he had offloaded onto his sister. The image of an adult who refuses to grow up and rather surround himself with teenagers who do not yet know better and so emulate him. Anthy at the end of the tv series finally finds the catalyst for change and so crosses the threshold of the school into the adult world to find her Utena. Escaping abuse however is also not a linear path either and people can find themselves back with their abusers again. Sometimes I'm between if tv and movie Anthy are the same person for aspects like this despite her not seeming to be aware of who Utena is to her fully. The school might be a cracked shell but they are still in this world. Adolescence if you have lived a life being told what to do is a hard and sometimes guilt riddled experience. You were never given the space to self actualize and you are expected to take over the controls leaving you struggling between how you want to live and how you were told to live. It is confusing to know what to do with yourself when all limitations are taken away from you. Something resonates with that feeling and the various frames from the scenes of young princess Anthy being stormed by the mob of expectations. They vary between guilded to silly with a macaroni like quality being made out of candy and match sticks and ribbons interspliced with jeweled and gilded ones. Anthy looks more childlike in the movie than the TV series and I think sometimes graduating to adulthood changes you to being somewhat childlike all over again. But the world has changed since last time, a revolution is what we call one year when we spin around the earth, a year to grow and change in a new way from the previous. You may start new but the world did change.

Maybe it's still to not have realized how Anthy and Utena switched hairstyles. I always did realize that Anthy now had straight hair and Utena's was wavy but it just hit me on the head that the way Utena disguises her hair short is basically a similar tuck to Anthy's but vertically. Basically she hid her longer layers by coiling them up into each other BUT THEN hiding the tuck her a boys length shorter layer. Anthy's dress is also the more stand out change of the two, the original was always somewhat unconventional but the movie one really brings a sense of modern fashion in its design; body hugging, a front slit, and the show off of a pair of mature heels. Anthy does look a teen trying to present as an adult. A princess is always seen as a childlike person, the 'daughter' to the 'mother' of the queen. I have less to say deeply about Utena's outfit sas the fact that the shorts I mentioned before invoke the image of a yet to mature prince, sporty but unrefined and still also childlike. I think overall the gakuran sporting more place and harsher contrast gives the feeling of mourning but as well bring a level of maturity as the patterning reminds me a little of high end fashion of the time. Again, children trying to play adults. (As I was writing the end I realized that Anthy's new dress is a merging of hers and Utena's pink one from the TV series) Somewhere long ago when I started writing this I meant to talk about how they're acting out a fairy tale but we lost that plot.

What is important now is that when Anthy runs, Utena follows. Even before she faces closure, she asks first where Anthy is showing how her priorities have shifted. Her final willingness to recognize someone she loved was gone is the exact thing that brings her to the level of Anthy who how needs to reckon with the same thing, the death of her prince. Anthy tries to backtrack and proclaim Utena the prince of the school (the ruler of the domain within the shell) and reobjectify herself to being subservient to Utena. Rejecting her adulthood in someways. But Utena does not indulge the narrative.

Throughout the TV series, Utena's journey is that of growth. From a flimsy ambition to resolve, to a recognition of responsibility for those she cares for especially in how the champion is also a leader to others, and finally to the self determination of sacrifice for others. Whether she knows so or not, episode 1 Utena wanted to be a prince for selfish reasons. She wanted to become a prince because she believed the prince gave her a will to live. But she never took enough responsibility for others feelings, shirking Wakaba's feelings and staying aloof to everyone and even the gravity of being Anthy's prince. She had to constantly be retaught that you can't take things at face value or be half hearted over every situation. Which is why by the end she rejects the supposed love of her prince for Anthy who she truly does love. And even still had to learn that loving that person does not mean they will provide the same back. Anthy backstabbed Utena because Anthy was conditioned to believe she could not be loved and only through Utena's full resolve could she see a new world for her. And we return to this point as Utena turns into a car.

Hey! it's time for that point where everyone asks, what's up with the car thing? Well simple, a car is an image of transition, of moving on. Utena, is offering Anthy to move on from her abuse, the trauma of her brother. But a car needs a key to function in the same way loved ones can only help you escape abuse if you have the will to want to leave it. Utena cannot simply make Anthy recover, she has to want the recovery.

There are many ways you may struggle to change, the cycle of repetition and pattern is least resistant to others. But there are also those willing to support you on your journey of growth if you continue forward. The final barrier in the way of Anthy ultimately is her brother, less of a ghost as much as a concept, the destruction of ambition to overcome what you've always known. The race to the outside world is maybe one of the most gripping moments not just for it's gorgeous animation but for the transformation Anthy goes through. Absolutely refusing before haphazardly taking the leap into Utena as it dawns on her she can escape, to crying for Utena to save her when she's overwhelmed, to refusing to return to the comfort of the egg again when the hardest challenge presents itself, the castle thar defines her personhood for her whole life at that point.

Utena does not save Anthy, she shows Anthy that she can save herself. A person who was always told she was defined in relation to her betrothed and her brother and her role as a witch is given self actualization. To grow from adolescence to to self actualize, to become an adult finally responsible for all your agency. To overcome trauma is to reclaim you agency and identity for yourself. To revolutionize the world starts with a personal revolution.

I'm tomyo and thank you for coming to my Ted talk.

Additional notes: Japanese Akio's voice sounds kinda pathetic like I could punch the dude from how wimpy he sounds at points and I kinda love that. Again Im a particular fan of the English cast but I noticed this more this time. Also missed fitting in how the duels now take place in the open but all the students watch disinterested playing into some of the "this is a play by Anthy" allusions I wanted to initially make. I was really gonna keep this to just being "oooh I get why it's called the adolescence now" but then literally I also had a grief realization too and well... My final thought is that I learned to really love Anthy. I think Americans tend to not feel too strongly on her because we aren't taught a high level of emotional consideration and at some point it really felt like Anthy only ever got in art in relation to Utena ironically enforcing the same treatment she experienced in the story. I'm not free of this either having previously thought "ah yes, I am non binary ofc I relate to Utena..... right?". Wrong, it's Wakaba hahaha. But it's taken a while how much Anthy means to me especially in hindsight my first gay dream was specifically about movie Anthy which I just ignored for years. If anything I want to bring more love to her one day, she deserves so much more than she's given!

#utena #revolutionary girl utena #tomyo says shit #essay i guess #anthy himemiya

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