elena & lila, early/mid book 3, wordcount: 2.7k
I did not try to silence the whirlwind of affairs that had been spinning around me but rather let it swell to a vast buzzing noise that followed me from my parents' house to San Giovanni a Teduccio. Lila had that power, to concentrate my life into a single sound, composed of many smaller disparate sounds, that somehow summed to her.
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In those days my mind was filled with comings and goings, people and places and words that slipped past me and through me.
I visited Mariarosa and her ever-changing guests, Pietro met my family, I saw the apartment Pietro had chosen in Florence and, soon after, the more suitable apartment Adele replaced it with.
Pietro had pleased me with how well he got along with my family, even winning over my mother, but his presence was a disruption, an anomaly, an ornate design on tattered yellowed pages. I was uncomfortable sharing my origins with him; he did not belong here, among the crime and filth and violence of my youth.
As for me, I no longer felt bound to Naples in the way I once had. I was free to come and go, but I sensed deeply that I would not belong in Florence where I would soon live with Pietro, in that apartment Adele had helped me arrange and furnish while politely circumventing my inferior sense of taste. But I and my inferior taste would reside there for who knew how long, surely not the wife that Adele and Guido had intended for their son, but not an utter disappointment, not as long as I continued to write articles and novels and conform as best I could to the idea and shape of an Airota.
I benefited greatly from the attention my novel gave me, though some of the attention troubled me. Voices from all corners of my world emerged to speak about my book, ranging from academics I had never met to people whom I had grown up with. I was praised, I was ridiculed, my work was immature, my work was profound, its pages were poetic, its pages were dirty.
All these things and more swam around in my head, confounding me. There were too many stimuli, too many moving parts. I was unsure how happy I felt, or how happy I should feel, in those busy days that swept me toward my wedding date.
It was among this constant shifting that Pasquale and Enzo found me and urged me to see Lila. She was sick, they didn’t know what was wrong, she demanded to see me, would I please come immediately.
Though Pasquale and Enzo’s appearance could have fit into the theme of the perpetual comings and goings in that period of my life, their arrival marked an end to those unmoored days. They were not an external factor drawing me to Lila but rather the vehicle for the inevitable internal force driving me toward Lila which had been lying dormant, waiting to activate. I did not try to silence the whirlwind of affairs that had been spinning around me but rather let it swell to a vast buzzing noise that followed me from my parents' house to San Giovanni a Teduccio. Lila had that power, to concentrate my life into a single sound, composed of many smaller disparate sounds, that somehow summed to her.
Pasquale and Enzo warned me that Lila was greatly agitated. I was consumed by worry as we climbed the stairs to the apartment, and Lila was indeed in poor condition, but I was glad to find that my arrival calmed her. She called me into her room and sent out Pasquale, Enzo, Gennaro. She spoke to me and me alone, confiding in me, revealing her story, distilled to the point of pain.
She told me about the sausage factory, Soccavo, Edo, the pamphlets, Pasquale, Nadia, Armando, Michele. I felt that she was shoving into my hands another box full of her notebooks, like the box she had given me three years earlier that I had dumped off the Solferino bridge. But this new collection of Lila’s I held onto in my mind, examining it in detail, tracing over its lines.
Over the course of that night, Lila’s physical state did not improve, but as she told me her story, a weight seemed to lift from her, or perhaps extrude itself from inside her like a poison being sucked out, and as I listened, I thought of how she had given me those notebooks that contained her adolescent history, how I had dumped them into the water, and how likewise she had burned The Blue Fairy, erasing her childhood brilliance. But now she was entrusting me with this new oral history of her adulthood spent apart from me, these fragments that were once scattered in time now drawn together by the force of her mind and given order, stitched into one another until the pattern was revealed in its most pure form.
Lila wanted to put these events to rest. She was done with the sausage factory, she no longer wanted to live in San Giovanni a Teduccio, she was ready to return to the neighborhood. In her mind she had ended this story, and she poured its details into me to unburden herself of what was already finished and dead.
I treasured the knowledge of her life, shared after such a long separation, and yet I resented this offloading, this throwing away of what had grown stale in her eyes. I resented that she had not relayed any of these events as they occurred, only pulling me into the web of her life after it was dismantled, as if the act of inserting bits of information into me solidified the fact that they no longer mattered, the way she had thrust her adolescent box of notebooks into my arms to do what I pleased with.
And for the first time, on that night of confessions, Lila shared with me her experience of sex, her thoughts of it, the disgust she felt, the brutality she had experienced. She mentioned my book, its dirtiness, as if to prove to me that I understood her, that my experience reflected hers, that her experience was truth.
I thought of what Nino had told me in Milan, that Lila was made badly when it came to sex. Back then I had been so shocked by his words that I had turned them inward, had wondered if I was made badly in the same way. I had been offended on Lila’s behalf; a child had come from that union that Nino spoke so disparagingly of. Now, in San Giovanni a Tedducio, Lila was trusting me with that child, urging me to swear that I would take care of Gennaro if something happened to her. And I found that I could no longer accept this old reaction to Nino’s remark, that a new idea was growing from it, replacing it.
I wondered if I should tell Lila I had met Nino, tell her what he had said, but now that his assessment of Lila had been living inside me for long enough, free for me to turn over and poke at and examine, I no longer thought of these ideas in relation to myself or Gennaro or Nino, rather I thought only of Lila, now that she had laid for me out her experience of sex, spoken it into existence so crudely.
But my thoughts were not yet fully formed. Lila held and kissed my hand, we kissed each other hello and goodbye, her body on the bed was frail beneath me, she spoke coarsely yet evasively about sex. I was not prepared to relate the knowledge to her on an intellectual level, I only felt her and saw her, experienced what she was writing into me through the story of her life since the day she had thrown The Blue Fairy into the fire, the fragments of herself she stored in me after the erasure of the childhood masterpiece that I had absorbed into myself and used to produce a novel. I could perceive in only the most rudimentary way that Nino’s words did not sit right. I could not yet organize those sensations into thoughts, but soon I would.
Lila begged me again to take care of Gennaro. She asked me to watch over her, too, to always watch over her, even after leaving her room, after returning to the neighborhood, after leaving it for Florence. I was touched, but I was also unnerved, for was it not Lila who watched me? Was it not Lila who uncovered everything, who saw everything, who knew everything, who conspired with some unknown force to acquire knowledge that she, only she, was capable of possessing?
But I made my promises, and indeed I did watch over her, in the days leading up to my wedding—May 17, 1969, an unlucky wedding date, though neither I nor the Airotas were concerned with superstition. For that short period I spent more time with Lila than ever. As Pietro, Florence, my future approached me, reaching for me through that expanse of time between the current moment and the seventeenth of May, I evaded, I redirected, I fed off Lila’s power to disassemble and reassemble my life around her. On this occasion, I was the one who took charge and set things into motion. Or perhaps it was Lila who commanded my fixation on her affairs and I only thought myself the master of both of us.
Doctor’s appointments, the L’Unita article about Bruno Soccavo, Pietro leveraging his connections to find a job for Enzo—everything I did was for Lila. I hurt for her, her pain pained me, and so I did everything I could to help her. I disrupted our balance, I tipped the world in her favor, I fixed the scales that my mother imagined contained on opposite ends me and Lila, successful and unsuccessful, good and bad.
Once I re-immersed myself fully in Lila’s world, I experienced fantasies, imaginations, wanderings. After hearing Lila speak of sex, I was confused by the message of my own novel. Suddenly, in relation to her, its importance diminished; she had pointed out the incongruities between my work and my person, between what I believed to be profound and what was already profound according to the truth that she alone imbued things with.
Was Lila truly made badly when it came to sex? I pondered the question over and over; it became not Nino’s statement but my own wondering. I became acquainted with her uncooperative body, as I took her to see doctor after doctor, who understood the workings of the body but not its essence; only Nino, Stefano, and perhaps Enzo had their answers to my question and none of those answers would match. Lila was made badly in a way that responded uniquely to each man who had been with her; her body adopted novel strategies of resistance depending on its adversary.
And now at each doctor’s office, Lila demanded the pill, she wanted to thwart her nature, she cared more about obtaining contraceptives than solving her heart condition, her flu, her nerves. Perhaps the pill was in fact the cure to all of those ailments, or she fabricated a cure through her quest to subdue one by one all of the obscure forces in her body.
At first I thought, yes, of course Lila is made badly when it comes to sex. She is cruel, she thinks only of herself, she seeks dominion and cannot be subdued, in fact the desire of men to subdue her is already an admission of failure. They are frustrated before they begin, for not even Lila can contain Lila.
But as I turned over the question more and more, as I imagined her hands, her lips, her figure, the irregular heartbeat that refused to yield to her mind, as I imagined her in relation to a man—or perhaps in relation to nothing at all, only Lila, a comparison of herself to herself—I found that I could not believe she was made badly when it came to sex in the way that Nino must have meant. Rather, her perpetual desire to deconstruct herself overcame her feelings of affection, passion, devotion. She was always inserting pieces of herself into the other, shards that burrowed in, cut, drew blood, provoked and aggravated internal injuries, formed hemorrhages, and when she tried to disappear, to tear herself to shreds, to diminish herself through the act of sex, she tugged on the pieces which she had inserted into the other, into Nino, Stefano, Enzo, and by forces transcending the physical, into Marcello, Michele, Pasquale, into all of us and everything. She wanted to rip out all of those shards which she had planted. But the shards could not exit those persons without an explosion, a complete change of form, like the rupture of the copper pot so many years ago. In reality, only a few bits would escape and return to Lila, doing so in a burst of violence, and in the act of simultaneously revealing and concealing herself, Lila inflicted pain, plucking pieces out while at the same time inserting new pieces of herself into you. The agony, the contradiction, the cyclic war of attrition, formed an intimacy that eclipsed all other forms of intimacy, an intimacy which was only possible with Lila, which she both demanded from you and excluded you from with all of her effort.
I felt that I had evidence, proof of her witchcraft. My ruminations on Lila did not frustrate me, they invigorated me. Handling her affairs filled me with vitality. I enjoyed the power, yes, the power, which was all sourced from Lila and which had become my own, a thousand shards embedded in me, to be ripped out when she could no longer stand to be oppressed by my influence. When Lila took my hand and kissed it, when she left behind the sensation of her lips, I felt that rather than delivering a sign, an external assurance of affection, she was instead activating a talisman that existed inside me and jealously calling the shards back to herself.
It was not until I decided to help Lila return to the neighborhood, when I searched for apartments and inquired about her status in the neighborhood, when I learned the news of the Caraccis and the Solaras, only then I did I realize her betrayal. That her friendship with Alfonso, her dominion over Michele, and who knows how many other things, had been kept from me. In all the care she had taken to meticulously diagram out her life for me, she had excluded me from this knowledge, hoarding it inside herself. Alfonso, Michele, all the other things I did not know—they were still important to her, too important for me to be useful in regard to them, and therefore she hid them.
I thought of the notebooks I had pushed over the Solferino bridge. By now they would have disintegrated, dissolved, been carried to the connecting bodies of water. They were out at sea, farther than she and Nino had dared to swim at Ischia, the particles of paper and ink now smaller than the flecks of color that she and Nino had shrunk to. I had achieved what Lila had simultaneously feared and desired most: I had dispersed her, I had taken the order she created in the world, the precision that she captured in her words, and I had scattered it, I had sent it through every body of water and to the ends of the world.
But on that night in San Giovanni a Teduccio and in the days of my investigations in the neighborhood, she had given me nothing physical to hold onto, no paper and ink, no notebooks filled with her person, only the memory of her words and the imagery they evoked. Only the shards in me, to be pulled out one by one like thorns, porcupine quills, splinters, to grind to dust and scatter like ashes. I could not remove Lila from myself the way I could wash her kiss off my hand. Her secrets grew violent inside me and revolted against me.
The humiliating meeting with Professor Galiani was the last straw, the final splinter wedged under my skin.
I left Lila, under the illusion of freedom, numbing myself to the pain and machinations and permutations of Lila inside myself, as if I could remove her shards by simply ignoring them. I went to my wedding, dragged by the hand that reached backwards from the unlucky seventeenth of May, convinced that my own propulsion could be stronger than the force with which Lila would invariably bury herself inside me and claw her way back out once more.
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Given the size of Bianca's turf, I realized she'd need more than three capos to run it all, so I revamped a lot of things. Now, I may not ever write a number of them, but I do like to have the info on hand as it adds more depth. And I'm always a slut for deeper lore. Please remember that this is just how I visualize Bibi's turf/gang/whathaveyou and her rivals. I will not force this on others, especially those who are part of Passione and whom I interact with.
The city has ancient churches, narrow artistic streets, imposing palaces, and unique underground landscapes, many of which are situated within Zeppeli's turf. Naples is broken down into thirty quarters which are then grouped together into ten governmental community boards for administrative purposes. Zeppeli controls four of these administrative areas, for a total of nine quarters; these are marked in red above. Thus Zeppeli has eight capos, one assigned to each quarter with their share of soldiers. Now, you might be asking, Nana, you said there are nine quarters, so why only eight capos? Posillipo is watched over by Zeppeli's Underboss, Dante, himself.
1st municipality of Naples
Posillipo
An affluent residential quarter, located along the northern coast of the Gulf of Naples. Rocky, it is 6km (just over 3 miles) long and surrounded by cliffs with a few coves with breakwaters at the western end of the Bay of Naples. The stronghold of Zeppeli, palazzo Beatrice, is located here on the cliffs and is one of the safest properties within Napoli. Unless a certain spicy vampire is present in a particular verse.
Chiaia
An affluent neighborhood on the seafront, bound by Piazza Vittoria on the east and Mergellina on the west; one the wealthiest districts in Naples, with many luxury branded shops on its main street. It's also home to a business school, medical school, and a number of other public schools. A landmark is the large public park known as the Villa Comunale, developed in the late 16th and 17th centuries.
San Ferdinando
A southern district that includes the Royal Palace, Piazza del Plebiscito- the most celebrated square in Naples, the San Carlo opera house, and the church of San Ferdinando, from which the district is named.
5th municipality of Naples
Arenella
Sitting on Vomero Hill, above the city, and near the main hospital section, many years ago it was considered a place to "get away from it all".
Vomero
Up on a hilltop accessed by funicular, upscale, leafy, and dotted with gelaterias, alfresco cafes, and refined Italian restaurants; both chain and department stores cluster around Piazza Vanvitelli.
9th municipality of Naples
Pianura
Bound on one side by Soccavo and the other by the town of Pozzuoli, it's a lively residential area with archaeological sites like Roman mausoleums, and a Roman villa. Pizzaerias, dessert shops, and bars are in the historic center, where the 13th-century Church of San Giorgio stands in the main square. Bargain hunters often hit up the Mercatopoli Napoli Pianura thrift market.
Soccavo
A western quarter, bounded on one side by the area of Fuorigrotta and the other by the Camaldoli hill; at the base of the hill is a historic quarry, which gives its name to the area. While it's technically a division of Pozzuoli and not Naples, it was included within the administrative limits of Naples when it started being developed as a residential neighborhood in the 1920s.
10th municipality of Naples
Bagnoli
Beyond the confines of the original city, it's beyond Cape Posillipo, thus looking over the coast of the Bay of Pozzuoli. The North Warf is the longest promenade in Europe, while Città della Scienza is an interactive science museum for adults and children. Between the Astroni Reserve, which sits an extinct volcano, and the archaeological Terme area, there is Ippodromo di Agnano, the biggest racecourse in Italy and one of the oldest in Europe.
Fuorigrotta
Beyond Posillipo Hill, it is the most populated suburb of Naples, housing the San Paolo Stadium. There is a Roman bath, the Vesuvian Observatory, the oldest volcanological observatory in the world, and the Naples Zoo.
Within these quarters is Zeppeli's legitimate businesses: Restaurants, cafes, pizzerias, laundrettes, and nightclubs. Chiaia is the location of the five-star hotel, Beatrice; much like the palazzo was named for Bianca's grandmother, so too was Zeppeli's hotel chain, the first opening in Napoli back in the 50s. There is a Hotel Beatrice in New York, London, Tokyo, and Singapore, by 2001.
Of course, among all the glistening glamor, there is also the seedy underbelly of Zeppeli. Gambling dens, fight clubs, and whorehouses. But we'll get more into that later.
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the famiglia.
dario zeppeli. 81. 6'2". likes cat naps in the sun, a strong coffee, and his wife's smile. dislikes slackers, pickles, and modern architecture. former don of the zeppeli family; still commands great respect. not as scary as you think he is once you get to know him. hamon user.
beatrice zeppeli. 79. 5'5". likes afternoon tea, playing the piano, and the opera. dislikes messiness, unnecessary violence, and sour foods. the wife of dario; some claim she was the true power behind the scenes during her husband's reign. a kind, strong woman. a master sharp shooter.
dante zeppeli. 39. 6'2". likes dogs, sleeping, and when the day is relatively stress-free ( it is, in fact, never stress-free). dislikes fucking paperwork, incompetence, and when someone takes a romantic interest in his cousin. the son of dario's younger sister, giada. the current underboss and the one bianca trusts the most in the world (next to her grandparents). hamon user.
vincent galilei. 60. 6'3". dario's consigliere, now bianca's. knows the law inside out and backward (in italy and other countries). cool under pressure. manages all of zeppeli's legal financial interests. stand user.
tommaso "tommy" granita. 24. 5'11". enjoys chess and mathematics. capo of chiaia. rumored to be related to the zeppeli's consigliere but nothing is confirmed. hamon user.
tira "titi" misu. 23. 5'5". capo of san ferdinando. likes collecting earrings. enjoys tea at the end of a long day. originally worked at one of zeppeli's brothels; intervened during an assassination attempt while the don was visiting nd saved bianca's life. stand user.
giotto "toto" panetone. 29. 5'10". collects keyboards. capo of arenella and the intelligence squad. the watchers and gatherers. this squad knows things before the government does and knows things the government wishes they didn't. stand user.
petrarca "pet" affogato. 25. 6'. capo of vomero. a true playboy and lady's man who enjoys collecting perfume. he and leo have beef, much to bianca's dismay. hamon user.
donatello "dona" ricotti. 31. 5'11". capo of pianura and search and recovery. when there seems to be no hope or the government fails to find a missing (or stolen) loved one, sometimes one needs those who can move where the police cannot or aren't willing to. often partners with the intelligence squad. stand user.
michelangelo "mich" pomodori. 28. 6'1". a self-proclaimed foodie. capo of soccavo and the demolition squad. the heavy hitters, when brawn is needed above everything else... or a good distraction. stand user.
raphael "raph" scacci. 30. 6' capo of Bagnoli and the assassination squad. a group who moves in the shadows of napoli. once bianca issues a hit, the target is already dead; it's just a matter of when they stop breathing. stand user.
leonardo "leo" panello. 34. 6'2". capo of fuorigrotta. enjoys fast cars and going for long rides when he can; he also enjoys building model cars. has a low tolerance for bullshit. may or may not have a thing for the boss and dislikes when petrarca (attempts) to flirt with bianca. hamon user.
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