#so. fucking. normal
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had a fucking hilarious dream that tumblr replaced the "block" function with the far funnier "glock" function, which did the exact same thing except whenever anyone blocked you a random bullet hole, like a png of a bullet hole, would appear on your blog. discourse blogs were unreadable bc you'd go to the page and the sheer amount of bullet hole pngs stacked over the blogs obscured everything. I woke myself up laughing
#normally I don't chronicle my dreams here but fucking hell that one was funny#I think this would genuinely make tumblr better tbh#@ staff do this cowards#spy has thoughts#my life is a sitcom and i am my own laugh track#functional website#spy's smash hits#Glock function#edit for everyone in the notes saying 'everyone clapped'#I know I can't prove to you that it happened for real you're just gonna have to trust me on this#but I swear on my goddamn life I'm not making this up#I make so many conscious puns that sometimes my subconscious cooks up a real good one
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It is the middle of a Sunday afternoon. You have nothing on, and aren't expecting visitors, deliveries or post.
Unexpectedly, there is a knock at the door.
you are greeted by...... her
#fairy vs walrus#walrus vs fairy#walrus#why is this so well textured its fucking shitpost art#like why cant i pull this off in my normal art it had to be the walrus fairy#meme art#things that would give people outside of tumblr a heart attack#maybe#has the fairy vs walrus debate breached containment yet#also that generic girl i drew ended up looking a lot like how i look irl (yes i look like an npc)#also that door is unreasonably large but i needed you to be able to see the walrus in all her glory#i wanted it to be bigger so you could see her wings#fairy walrus#dragon draws creatures
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#they just resort instantly to bombing#and everyone just thinks it's normal#coz it's a non white middle eastern Muslim country#how are the us uk and israel allowed to exist when they're the worst thing for world peace#why do their governments get away with so much#and they then have the audacity to lecture other countries about human rights#fuck off#yemen#palestine#israel#free palestine#gaza#gaza strip#middle east#free gaza#fuck israel
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Yes, Greece still exists, we didn't all die 2000 years ago. Yes, people speak Greek. You people are so fucking stupid for real. So many of you claim to love ancient shit but can't even acknowledge the actual living culture of the people whose mythology and classics you romanticize. You keep leaving annoying comments about how you just forget Greek people still exist, thinking you're being quirky because you love ancient stuff soooo much that you forgot about the people it came from. You think about it so little you don't even realize that an actual Greek person has to read this shit, making it clear how little you actually care about the culture beyond the romanticized (and westernized) mythology. Don't claim you love Greece, don't use our mythology anymore if you can't acknowledge that we're still around without making it about how little you think about us. It's mind boggling that you'd think a Greek person would read this and think you're anything but obnoxious. Explode.
#this post is edited because you're all annoying. maybe I'll turn it back someday#it sucks that people can't even be normal about a funny family story once the fact that we're greek comes into the fold#suddenly its all about blorbofied mythology shit and idiots saying ''GREECE IS REAL???? 🤯🤯🤯🤯'' yeah percy j*ckson didnt make it up#maybe it would be less annoying if they weren't all saying it like I'd think it's funny that they don't know we exist instead of like#disturbing on a personal level. like what the fuck#man if you can't acknowledge we exist in real life just name your oc Icarus something else idgaf#so yeah explode. Skase. Voulos'to. Valto mesa sto katamalakismeno mouni tis mana's sou. Psophise. etc.
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I need to tear into a pokemon booster pack like a hyena who hasn't eaten for a week
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ok i finally get why everyone fucking loves law it's cause every time the straw hats do literally anything they cut back to him making this EXACT face
#im going to throw up laughing its so funny i need to find a screenshot. EDIT SCREENSHOT NOW IN NOTES LOL#like obvs i knew he's a fan fave but this is actually extremely funny. guy who is the barometer of normal behavior compared to everyone els#but who is also fucked up and skewed in his own way#trafalgar law#one piece
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i know we won't but GOD i hope he never tells her he's an alien i hope we have a whole series of ruby thinking he's just a time travelling human until he gets hurt and is like ohhhhhh ruby love can you check my pulses and she's like check your fucking what now
#doctor who#doctor who spoilers#aaaaa!!!!#the doctor#fifteen#ruby sunday#normally they work out the alien bit first and the time travel 2nd i'm so glad we got a reversal!!!!#also if 13 can go a whole fucking year without saying the word time lord to her companions then so can 15 i believe in him!!!!!!
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You guys have no idea how sane and normal I am right now
#so. fucking. normal#SHSNJDHF IN BSBDJSKSGSKGDD#Gka he vsjVJshsjsjdvalhszlHsgkajsbdnd#AGAKDHHDBDNX SLSGSBSKHSKAJAL#GSJSKJDGDHGRAHAARFARFARFBARKBARKBARK#*is currently actively foaming at the mouth*#I'm okay.#:3
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The singular thing i contributed to drawpile last night
this is lee’s bartender senshi au
#paesthethyc's art#delicious in dungeon#dungeon meshi#chilshi#pots n picks#senshi#chilchuck tims#senshi of izganda#shoutout to lee and cab!!!!!#it was so fucking fun listening to them exploding#we were really normal last night#this was lee’s idea btw. i HAD to draw it
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List of Astarion's Terms of Endearment
This is for the fanfic writers haha. Tell me if I'm missing any so can add it in!
Darling (his most used)
My love, love
My sweet
“You sweet, generous thing”, “you sweet little thing”
Lover
My dear, a dear, dear
Beautiful
Cheeky little pup
My little treat ("-with their cheeks all flushed")
Sweetie
Pet
You wicked little thing (affectionate)
"You're a sweetheart", "you sweetheart"
Delectable little pet (not directed towards Tav but it easily could be)
My friend (yay, we're his friend)
My favorite traveling companion (not a pet name but it's nice to be his favorite)
My leaking blood-bag (technically you refer to yourself as that first and he calls you his one after, but it counts)
You little scoundrel
Edit: Thank you everyone in the comments for adding the Dark Urge ones!
Bhaal-babe (I'm dead, this silly pun I swear)
My sweet, bloodthirsty friend
My precious little Bhaal-babe
My conflicted villain
My dagger-happy friend
Bonus: Ascended Yandere Astarion
My pet, pet
Little love
Precious thing
My treasure
My consort, My Dark Consort
My favorite spawn
Insolent little- (the Dev's notes say that the full line is "you insolent little brat" which, um...)
Insolent little pup (the line was in EA, although I’m not entirely sure if it’s Ascended Astarion. Full line: “you are an insolent little pup, aren’t you?”)
"You ingrate" (When you try to break up with him. It's not really a pet name, but-)
"Property I cherish, but still my property" (his thoughts)
#baldur's gate 3#bg3#astarion#bg3 astarion#astarion romance#astarion bg3#baldurs gate astarion#baldur's gate iii#astarion ancunin#bg3 spoilers#astarion x tav#astarion x mc#astarion x reader#astarion x you#dnd#I am so fucking Normal about this man#Props to Neil Newbon and the writers and artists for bg3 making me fall for a character from a game I never played
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cult trait: good die young
#my art#cotl#cotl lamb#as you can tell. my lamb is SO normal#i wanted to do a thing that showed what kind of a cult leader they were without being like. 25 pages long sakjhfsdg#surprisingly hard???? what can i say i love dramatic spacing and plotlines that slowly build over time. its my curse#this lamb btw is largely based off of the way i played cotl in my first full playthrough. i call this one the Collector#because they do all the fucked up shit you need to in order to collect all the follower forms etc
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why do you keep trying to promote dead boy detectives? also im using my aunts laptop and i can actually type on this thing?
*crawls up your chair to hiss in your ear* listen. come here.
closer.
listen.
DEAD BOY DETECTIVES IS FUCKING AMAZING AND I JUST FINISHED IT AND MY MIND IS BLOWN AND I WILL NEVER BE THE SAME AGAIN AND I AM GOING TO DIE RIGHT HERE I JUST SPENT MY ENTIRE DAY WATCHING IT BECAUSE I COULD NOT STOP AND OH MY GOD WE NEED A SECOND SEASON AND FOR THAT PEOPLE NEED TO WATCH IT AND EVERYONE WHO'S WATCHED IT LOVES IT AND NOW I CAN SEE WHY
ahem.
yes. i mean. it's a. good show. that i am normal about.
*crawls into your spinal cord for a nap* remember to drink water.
#dead boy detectives#dbd#good omens mascot#weirdly specific but ok#asmi#maggots#i am SO FUCKING NORMAL ABOUT HOW ABNORMAL I AM ABOUT THIS SHOW
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respectfully, so tired of "evil AI that wants you dead". where is the evil AI that loves you sooo much that you are. not allowed to leave it. evil AI that wants to wrap you up in its wires and keep you forever and ever and ever.
#TTSys Mauze#TTSys TXT#objectum#basically i jusd want a fucked up evil computer to keep me as its possession. i'm so normals. smiles :}
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these two are so interesting to me
characters belong to @canisalbus
#clenches fists. im so sosososo normal about them. i think about them a normal amount (lying)#actually the 2nd image is based on some sort of anime couple pose template(?????) that i saw a while back and wanted to draw them in it#but i swear to god i CANNOT FUCKING FIND IT. i was literally knee deep in yuri and yaoi fanart for hours trying to find that god damn photo#but i dont even know who the characters were and pinterest just shows me bakugou and deku making out sloppy style whenever i try#so i gave up an tried drawing it from memory and cried the whole time. i hate anatomy.. but they look so happy so its fine#god whenever i see Lore or sweet little tidbits for these two i want to tear into something with my teeth and throw something /pos#i genuinely want to study these gay little renaissance dogs under a microscope#what fucks me up is the fact that we all know it ends horribly but u cant help loving them anyway.. they are so. incoherent hand gestures#my art#myart#others ocs#vasco#machete#vaschete#furry art#fur#anthro
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there are a lot of posts out there that are positive and healthy coping mechanisms for handling the holidays. this is not one of them :)
i think there's like. going to be times in your life you will be stuck in a social situation that you cannot escape from gracefully. i do not know why the internet doesn't believe these times exist. it's not always just that your physical safety is at risk - sometimes it's legit like "i just don't currently have the energy or time to put in the effort of responding to this." sometimes it's a coworker you hate so much. sometimes it's just like, fine, you know? like you know you can handle your aunt when she's cheerily horrible, but if you actually set a boundary around her, it's going to be weeks of fallout with your father.
i don't know why people think the answer is always just "cut them out!" or "don't let them get away with that!" because ... the real world is tricky and complicated. i think kind of a lot of us have an internal "radiation poisoning" meter for certain people. like - i'm talking about the ones who are absolutely giving you gradual ick damage. like, you can handle them, but you'll be exhausted.
and yes. you absolutely should listen to your therapist and the good posts about handling others and set good boundaries and take care of yourself. prioritize peace.
HOWEVER :) ...... since im often in a situation with a Gradual Sense of Ick person i cannot just "cut out" of my life (without losing someone else precious to me) - i have sort of developed the most. maladaptive form of mischief possible. because like, if i'm going to have to listen to this shit again, i like to have a little bit of private fun with it.
now! again, i am physically safe, just mentally drained by this man. you should only do this with people you are not in danger with. which leads me to my suggestions for when your Unfortunate Acquaintance shows up and says oh everyone pay attention to me.
my favorite word is "maybe!" said as brightly and happily as possible. whenever the Horrible Person starts in on a topic you do not want to go further with, particularly if they make a claim that you know to be inaccurate, do not respond to it. you and i have both tried to actually argue with this person, and it hasn't gone well, because this person just wants the drama of an argument. however, "maybe!" gives them literally nothing to go on. it is incredibly disarming. they are used to people having some response. they know they can't prove what they're saying, and maybe! treats them like the child they are. it dismisses them in the politest way possible.
i like to say maybe! and then, in their stunned silence, immediately change the subject. this is because i have adhd and i will have something unrelated to talk about, but if you can't think of topics fast enough, i recommend just pointing to something and saying, "isn't that lovely?" because fuck you let's bring in some positivity.
by the way. that second trick - of pointing to something and stating an opinion about it? - that just works on its own, like, 70% of the time. i picked it up from teaching preschoolers. it's an intentional "redirect". it stops children crying and it also stops grown adults from finishing their explanation on why women belong in kitchens. dual wielding!
keep it silly for yourself. i absolutely do not care if people think i'm fucking stupid (it's more fun if they do) and as a result i will purposefully misunderstand things just to see how long it takes them to realize i've completely removed them from the subject at hand. when they say "women aren't funny" i get to be like. "which women." "all women." "all women in america?" "no in the world." "like the mole people? the people in the world?" "what? no. like, alive." "oh are we not counting the mole people?" "what the fuck are you talking about." "you don't believe in the mole people?"
similarly, i play a personal game called "one up me." my Evil Acquaintance literally knows this game exists (my family & friends caught onto it and now also play it) and it always fucking gets him. i don't know why. you have to be willing to be a little free-spirited on this one, though. the trick is that when they make one of those horrible little bigoted or annoying comments they are always making, you need to go one unit weirder. not more intense, mind you - just more weird. "you don't look good in that dress." "yeah, actually, my other dress was covered in squid ink due to a mishap at the soup store." "you shouldn't wear such revealing clothes." "wait, what? oh shit. sorry, your son tears off strips when no one is looking and eats them. i swear it was longer before we left the building."
the point of "one up me" is to completely upend this person's narrative. we both know this person likes setting up situations where you cannot "win" and then they really like telling other people how badly you handled it. in a usual situation, if you respond "please don't say something that rude", you're a bitch. but if you let it happen, you're letting yourself be debased. they are not usually expecting door number three: unflappably odd. because what are they going to say when they're telling everyone how badly you behaved? "she said my son eats her dresses" ".... okay?"
if you can, form an allyship with someone whomst you can tagteam with. where they can pick up on your weird "soup store" story and run with it.
the following phrase is amazing and can be deployed for any situation: "oh, be nice :) it's the holidays!" i do not know why this works as often as it does. i'll say it for the most random shit. i think this is bc most of the time these people know they're being impolite, they just like to fight.
godbless. when in doubt, remember that you could always start stealing their pens.
the whole point of this is - if you can't escape. maybe see how long you can just be. like. a horrible little menace.
#this is objectively bad advice#don't listen to it protect yourself and do real work on yourself find one of the good posts i've made about this#but also. u know. if u want to have fun while u do the work of setting boundaries#.... it IS fun#i will say that my fear of him went SO down after i just started. fucking with him.#bc i used to get SO fucking upset#i'd spend WEEKS arguing with him. tearing my hair out. sick with anxiety and dread and anger about all of it#and now i just LITERALLY do not engage#instead i'm like '' haha :) mole people" and get the HELL out of any tense conversation#i kind of think some of these people are literally addicted to drama as a form of connection#they like the rush they get from arguing#but those arguments are incredibly damaging for me#so like..... i am in the process of literally rehabilitating this person to figure out how to find connection thru#NORMAL CONVERSATION#he doesn't get it yet#i also do talk to them like they're preschool kids lmafo . ''are you using a safe and kind voice right now?''#'' do you need a snackie? you sound a little upset. let's have some hummus and come back to playtime when we feel ready''
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i have lots of flaws but i do at least take a fair amount of comfort knowing that, if i were a customer NPC in a fast food/retail management game, i would be one of the chill early-level ones that can wait a super long time before they start getting impatient, and you breathe a sigh of a relief when you see them show up in a harder level
#buny text#was standing in line at popeyes today and they were SUPER busy and the staff couldn't even take my order for a while#and the guy at the till was like 'so sorry for the wait we'll get to you soon i promise' and i was like hey no worries 👍#and he gave me this look that i understood from my own time in retail to mean 'thank you for being fucking normal'#there was nobody else behind me cuz i showed up at the very end of the lunch rush i think#and in that moment i just pictured like. a lil timer wheel above my head that was still green and mostly full lmao#i love being nice to retail workers it's so fun
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