#so this happened bc of that thought haha
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[ cw: scars / permanent injuries / chronic pain / ]
Leo’s shell gets some permanent cracks in it due to the Krang, and as a result his shell’s pattern is all messed up.
He makes a fuss about it in a lightheartedly vain way, but it’s clear that it bothers him, more than just the chronic pain that comes with it.
The one who breaks about the cracks isn’t Leo in the end, it’s Mikey.
It’s a night where Leo can’t sleep, insomnia and the remnants of a fit pulsing through his shell keeping him awake. When making the rounds to check up on everything, he sees Mikey, crouched over some old crayon drawings, drawings that were only salvaged by some miracle.
Mikey always loved matching with his “cool blue bro” growing up. Their shell designs were something they had in common, different from the spines/spikes that their other brothers had. It felt good to share that with Leo.
To Mikey, seeing that pattern tarnished felt a little too much like their home getting destroyed. Worse, even. The two of them are complementary colors, it hits harder when things disrupt that.
And Mikey admits this to Leo, on this day where emotion kept mounting up in him until he couldn’t help but break a little. It feels selfish to say, but it’s the truth. It’s a visual that’ll constantly haunt Mikey, knowing what the cracks represent, knowing how they lost something that was just theirs to share.
Drawing Mikey to him, a hand on Mikey’s intact shell pattern, Leo admits that that’s what kills him the most too. He can deal with the pain, he can deal with the appearance, but he can’t deal with no longer seeing himself in the crayon drawings they managed to salvage from their past. Drawings that highlight their shell patterns, because Mikey always had a lot of fun drawing those.
He always loved what they decided they represented.
———
“Like links of a chain!” Little Mikey had called them as he scribbled them down in oranges and blues.
“Of course it’s like chains!” Little Leo nodded, having never noticed that before, “It, like, shows how we’re- how we’re always connected!”
Little Mikey had gasped at that, stars in his eyes as he babbled endlessly about how that meant they’re the chains holding the family together, right?
“Raphie and Donnie don’t have chains on their shells, so we gotta step up to keep everyone together!” Little Mikey said as he drew big circles around his drawings of their family, overlapping circles of orange and blue around everyone.
“Yeah! And if anyone gets lost, we’ll bring them back!” Little Leo boasted with a laugh, “No one has to be alone, we’ll make sure of it!”
“We’ll make sure of it!” Little Mikey echoed with a happy giggle.
———
‘You sure made sure of it, Mikey.’ Leo thinks, continuing to run his hand comfortingly down Mikey’s shell.
Then a thought hits him.
“Well, we got something better than just shell patterns in common now!” Leo starts, waiting until Mikey looks up to continue, “We got portals, little brother!” He grins, “And y’know, I think you’ve done a great job keeping us all together, Miguel. Sorry you had to pick up my slack.”
Mikey looks two steps away from sobbing at that, but his smile is wide, “You just got lost, of course I had to bring you back.” He leans back, out of Leo’s hold, and looks his big brother in the eyes, “That’s what we said- Raphie and Donnie don’t have portals…”
“-So we gotta step up-“ Leo continues.
“-To keep everyone together!” The finish simultaneously, laughing a little at the juvenile words.
A wry smile crosses Leo’s face, “Again, sorry I’ve been dropping the ball there. Feels like I did a lot of the opposite instead.”
He yelps as Mikey swiftly smacks him on the head.
“Nuh uh uh, none of that!” Mikey puffs out his chest, “I’ll have no slander toward my fellow portal pal!”
“Alright, alright…”
It’s not a fix to anything, more of a new way of looking at a change. Bringing that change into their lives as something familiar.
The cracks in Leo’s shell remain, and the cracks in Mikey’s hands scar over, but their family stays together all the same.
They gotta make sure of it, after all!
#rottmnt#rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles#rottmnt leo#rottmnt mikey#rise leo#rise mikey#rottmnt headcanons#portal pals#I’m so weak for portal pals#but yeah I always thought Leo and Mikey had cool shell patterns#looking very much like the links of a chain#so this happened bc of that thought haha#Leo: but just because we’re portal pals that does NOT mean you get to use those portals any time soon#Mikey: Aw
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This is my personal crossover event of the century
#one of my favorite actors and one of my favorite drivers interacting??? what???#alright whos gonna be the brave soldier and write the matt damon × mark webber rpf fic-#(i read a fic w james bond/seb so imo it really wouldnt be too far off to write Linus Caldwell/Mark LMAO)#ive known abt this event practically since i got into f1 but i feel like my thoughts abt it keep developing every time i look at them again#first time: huh okay wow brad pitt & matt damon taking w mark thats really wild. f1 drivers really do be meeting w high level celebs#after i watched fight club: wow wow!! i cant believe theres pics of brad pitt with mark thats crazy!#after i watched oceans 11: omg wait oh yeah! when mark was in jaguar he was sponsored by oceans 12!!! thats sick!!!#and then recently w my increasing love for Matt Damon: WAIT OH MY GOD MARK HAS INTERACTED WITH MATT!!!! (two worlds colliding feel ig)#but i was watching some interview w matt where they referenced this happening so its relevant in my brain again so i had to post abt it#but of course in the vid the specific pic on screen was him and mark interacting and i died. like seriously i can never escape f1 and mark#mostly im freaking out bcs its truly the crossover event of all time concerning my interests specifically#but the lore behind this is genuinely really really interesting#the fact that theyre promoting a heist movie specifically and then they put a $300k diamond in the nose of the Jaguar#and then the Jaguar crashed during the race and the diamond disappeared?????? cmon literally itself could be the plot to an Oceans movie#RBR/teams sponsored by RB were so much fun back in the day!!#they had several back to back movie promotions which all were pretty fun! just a shame neither team was good back then#it was Oceans 12->SW:ROTS->Superman right? i can't remember if there was another#such a shame that neither mark nor seb were in RBR in 2005 when RBR was promoting ROTS#i think i actually wouldve exploded if there were pics of them w hayden or ewan(my prev fandom haha)#f1#formula 1#formula one#mark webber#matt damon
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well🙂
#*visibly trying not to burst into tears* hey guys whats up#surprise surprise another absence bc my life can’t stop getting WORSE evry day it seems haha!#so. now who’s gonna tell me how u deal w the loss of ur fave person n the one person u were 100% certain truly loved u no matter what#who also inspired u to be an artist in the first place n who's been there for u ur ENTIRE life#like idk how to start dealing w it lmao. one min ill be basically okay n then the next ill feel like smthing just tore a chunk out of me#looked outside just a sec ago n thought “oh so she'll never see my progress in art. oh ill never get to make another painting for her”#n yk part of me just wants to pretend like none of it happened honestly#like “hey that was a fucked up dream oh well let me call [x] n tell them I love them”#n I dont fucking KNOW how to deal w this grief n idk whats normal n what isnt#no I havent cried rlly but almost every day I feel like I cant breathe n tht my chest is collapsing in on itself#no I cant talk abt it but i can’t draw like I used to n thinking abt my last art project makes me wanna throw up#< considering it was going to be a present for her tht she'll never get to see. Haha so funny right guys#fuck I need to get so entirely drunk over this now RELAPSING TIME BABY!!#anyways. will try to be normal tm n talk to ppl again instead of isolating as a way to cope n sorry to ppl who have msg'd me Ill be back
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I drew some super cringe fanart for tkok and night flight 😔 so soz if it’s like inaccurate or too sketchy I hate coloring and one of them is literally not done and I can’t bring myself to finish it but I wanted you to see anyways
I HOPE ITS OKAY THAT I PUBLISHED THIS!!!! BITCH!!! BESTIE!!!! I'M FUCKING OBSESSED!!!! YOU HAVE A GIFT!!!! THESE ARE BEAUTIFUL WOOOOOOW!!!!! I AM FLOORED ;-; <33333333
also, i just want to say, how much it means to me that you drew art centered around the two ninaverse universe/style ships that almost Never get asked about like??? my eyes are welling up with tears. ;-;
this is so thoughtful and beautiful, baby!!!! THANK YOU SO MUCH!!! like the intricacies of the night flight kite design, like do you live in my head holy shit??? THE TAIL!!!! *regular not toolshed stan vc* I LOVE MY GLOWY 7FT TALL CELESTIAL ALIEN BF WHO DOESN'T KNOW WHAT A LOT OF ENGLISH WORDS MEAN AND IS SO PRETTY!!!!
i actually had a surprising sudden spike in asks about my tfbw style in everything is going to be o.k :) aka the working title of my 'fanfic' aka 'ok' if i talk about it on here which is short for operation kevin. AND I ACCIDENTALLY GOT HYPERFIXATED ON IT, I AM DEVELOPING SO MUCH LORE AROUND HOW THE MUTATIONS STARTED AND SOCIETIES REACTION TO MUTANTS/ALIENS/OTHER SPECIES!!!
eeeeee!!!!! all this to say please, please, PLEASE ask me about ok anytime i actually actively encourage it. <3333 I LOVE U ALIEN KITE!
but in the vein of fanfics you can ask me about anytime. tKAAAAAAAAKKKKK!!!!! THE SOUDN I MADE!!!! I THOUGHT THAT I WAS THE ONLY PERSON ON EARTH THAT CARED ABOUT MY TSOT STYLE YURI!!!! I'M FUCKING OBSESSED WITH YOU HELLO!!!!
me: tries to weave tkak into every ask answer on here
i have mental problems like i fucking love stas. i know her name is literally criminally insane but she is so cute and loyal and strong!!!! i'm also developing her lore and specifically all the recruits/characters in the challenge of champions and i am SOOO EXCITED TO TALK ABOUT IT!!!!! AAAA!!! ALSO HALF ELF HALF FAE BRAT PRINCESS KYLIE WHO WANTS TO BE A DOCTOR!!!! OBSESSSEEEEED!!!! stop she looks so pretty like literally all three of them, no jokes, exactly how i pictured them in my head...i am stunned to near tears.
tldr: please ask me about ok, my crazy dystopian fucked superhero au featuring the world's most bat shit insane love square EVER
or tkak, if you enjoy dramatic high fantasy girls being in love, really intense, bloody, brutal fight scenes, tender longing, or solider girls pretending to be solider boys, or rather, a girl failure pretending to be boy success...badly.
AND I LITERALLY AM OBSESSED WITH FANART!!! I'M OBSESSED WITH ANY AND EVERYTHING YALL DO WITH MY FANFICS!!! YOU CAN DRAW OR MAKE ANYTHING YOU WANT LIKE THE FACT THA YOU CARE OR LIKE MY NCU CHARACTERS ENOUGH TO DRAW THEM MEANS EVEEEEEEERYTHING TO ME!!!!!!
i'm love you, darling.
thank you so much for sharing you gift with us.
-uncle nina, branch in both eyes.
#when i tell you i started crying#blubbering like a baby#i can't believe this this is fucking gorgeous holy shit like the coloring the fact that you nailed kite's night sky cloak#i am literally screaming so much theyre SOOOO PRETTY#ugh they are so ethereal i am stunned#also this is a secret but i actually specifically really like kite kyle in gigantic alien form and stan who is like 6ft but looks tiny#and stan helping them figure out human words and idioms and phrases haha stan being the peoples human prince in the undercity#kyshed is also iconic like kyle drawing toolshed and what he might look like under the reflective glasses the green scene and voice mod#LITERALLY ASK ME ABOUT OK :) ANYTIME I LOVE MY FUCKED UP SUPER POWERED SCIFI SOCIETY FANFIC#bestie...the tkak...I CANNOT BELIEVE THIS DAY HAS COME#DO YOU KNOW HOW MUCH I LOVE TKAK#I LOVE TKAK SO MUCH LIKE I THOUGHT IT WAS JUST ME OH MY FYUCKING GOD UR MY HERO#STAS LOOKS SO COOL HOLY FUCK I WOULD GO TO BATTLE FOR U MISS STAS ANYDAY!!! MEDIEVAL MULAN!!!#KYLE IS GIVING SUCH WONDERFUL WOODLEN FAIRY ZELDA ENERGIES SHE IS SO DAINTY PLS KISS ME KYLIE#i fucking love stas and kylie literally not future kylie having comphet like oh god do i like men what the fuck is happening#bc she likes stas as stan heeeeelp skalhdkahdsd#not the temptations of the flesh!!!!#I CANT BELIEBVE YOU DREW MY TWO LEAST TALKED ABT STYLE AUS I LOVE YOU SO MUCH UR MY HERO#not my hyperfixation on ok and tkak coming back#this is ur fault but thank you
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imagining a world where "letting the intrusive thoughts win" was understood to mean like, giving in to avoidant behaviours bc you don't want to be around your ocd triggers, instead of the. how it is
#text#it irks me the same way the 'organised my bookshelf today haha im so ocd' irks me#latenight grumpyposting#bc that's the way i would see 'letting them win' be#like in my experience an intrusive thought might be like 'oh noes you could accidentally filet yourself like a fish with that knife!'#*cue graphic mental image of what itd be like if that happened#where the brains misaimed goal is to avoid the dangerous situation (holding the knife and hurting myself with it)#and the thought winning is like me not using any sharp objects bc i dont want to be mentally bombarded with imagined gore#anyways understanders understand whatevs goodnight
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finished homestuck!! and adding it to my ever growing list of ‘media near-universally labelled as cringe that actually kinda slaps’
#like i won’t lie parts of it? terrible. i can’t even begin to piece together half of the lord english plot#but i think a lot more of it was actually really really good. especially act 4 and act 5 they were my favourite hands down#act 6 not so much. like separately? i loved the alpha kids and the dancestors and the concept of the cherubs was really interesting#but somewhere the execution fell short. it’s gonna annoy me cause i can’t figure out why#i think it might be the retcon. which i didn’t hate as an idea!! but it occurred closer to the end than i thought it would#i feel like if they’d explored the impact of the retcon more it might have flowed better?? idk#idk. act six as a whole i’m split on. i either loved what it did or was massively confused and exasperated by what it did#it’s like half of the comic and i got through it in about a week when it took me like a month to do acts 1-5#and it doesn’t feel like that much happened it’s weird#but yknow. it is the act that sold me on vriska!! like i liked her before but i really liked her ghosting it up in this act#the bit where ghost vriska and ghost terezi found each other nearly had me in tears#vrisrezi as a whole. what a concept. easily one of the best dynamics in the entire thing#i really hope terezi finds vriska post-canon. however i’m not sure if i want to read the epilogues and homestuck 2 or not yet#ooh ooh also!! john fulfilling his quest slapped!! that’s probably one of my favourite bits in homestuck ngl#and omg. did not see davekat coming i won’t lie but i was v happy about it#k ill stop now bc i will end up listing half the characters and my favourite bits about them. and as fun as that would be#i really need to sleep haha#homestuck
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...
#hello to anyone who happens to b interested in the saga of my life... also maybe the irl person i gave my url to... hopefully my blog#didnt freak her out too much lol. anyway so its been a busy week? 2 weeks? month? year? life? its been a lot. my parents helped me move#across the country from the desert to somewhere that's beautiful and green. my dad is so jealous of me lol its so so so pretty and theres s#so much to do. will i do any of it? that remains to be seen but im gonna try to be better about that sort of thing. try to get some help#with the thoughts in my head that keep me from doing and enjoying most things. its weird like im decorating my new room which i love. the#location and living situation seem ideal and i really hope i can stay here all 5 years of my program but i was picking a lot of bright#colors and now it feel uncomfortable. like if i wear things that r too bright or my room is too bright without dark contrast it feel weird#like if im wearing it it kinda makes me feel sick. idk what thats abt. anyway. ill try to heal my brain and im just so happy to b out of the#southwest. i was so so so excited when we were leaving thr city and even more so when we left the state. i cant believe im here. in December#it felt like a million years away and i really truely could not fathom how i was gonna survive that long. my thoughts were so distorted. but#i did and here i am. and in like a month i should b starting my phd program and my parents were telling me how excited ppl r for me and#jealous of where im living and im glad. im glad they're excited. i think i am too but its under a layer of: if i get excited it wont happen#im not allowed to b excited or it wont happen. which is irrational but ya kno. anyway so that's yeah. im so happy to have a fresh start and#the town seems super cool. a liberal blip in a sea of... not that so theyre very visibly pride forward haha and i think itll b way easier#for me to get around without driving. and im gonna try to make friends. i need someone to tell me where to get tattoos haha. so yea im happy#but exhausted and i dont wanna go back to work and so so greatful to my parents for being wonderful ppl idk how bc both of them had fucked#up childhoods. like my mum will say the saddest shit and im like bro this is y i don't wanna talk to my grandma fuck her and my dads parents#r so fucked. like my nana is the reason im so fucking control freaked out but i kno i have issues and she has no insight and thinks shes#better than everyone. anyway hopefully i can get back to drawing a posting more now. ive been drawing it its been in a sketch book#like an actual sketch book for sketching big ideas thst r gonna take fucking forever to draw 😭#so that's all. just uprooted my whole life. thats all. but in a good way :-]#unrelated
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I know we're all going absolutely crazy over the massive amount of Ineffable Idiots content in the new season, but I think we can all agree that the person that's happiest about it is Michael Sheen
#I really hope nobody has made this post yet but I'm still on Ep6 and haven't been on Tumblr since it aired so#Good Omens#Good Omens Season 2#Good Omens S2#Good Omens Season 2 Spoilers#Good Omens S2 Spoilers#Good Omens Spoilers#Tbh I don't even know whether I have to tag spoilers for such a vague post but still#I just shot up out of bed to post this#I would've long been finished with the episode if I didn't have to pause after every few seconds to squeel & write notes about my thoughts#This season is absolutely killing me and I love it for that. It's everything I could've hoped for and more#That being said if sth I want to happen doesn't happen by the end of the season I'm gonna riot#And no I don't mean a kiss bc that is incredibly unlikely and never gonna happen#Edit a bit later: Ha. Haha. AAAAAAAAA#Ineffable Idiots#No idea how I forgot to tag that
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just thinking thoughts trying to articulate them but re: trans names and even "stereotypical" trans names i just think it's like. luckily it's died down for now at least on here or maybe i just follow people who aren't assholes but seriously what was with that whole era where people just made fun of people's names or tongue in cheek poked fun at each other with a little too much cruelty let alone done by CIS people... like that's so weird. like i do have what i'd call a Stereotypical Trans Name in that it's unusual and "weird" to other people and it's not even actually like, the most out there or individualistic thing ever it's just kind of an old timey name that isn't as popular anymore but i chose it specifically bc it was a "proper" name. and i STILL get shit for it like all the time. and it's just like. why do people CARE...
like. i know you can't make grand sweeping generalisations for a group of people as varied as every trans person on earth but for a lot of us i'd go ahead and say your name as a trans person and even just AS A PERSON... A HUMAN BEING is an important part of who you are and ties into your identity to a degree that differs from person to person. and for a trans person specifically can be one of the only things you have for... yourself, along with pronouns, especially in online spaces/if you're not out/if you are out but struggle for whatever reason to even be given the dignity of being called YOUR OWN NAME, etc. i'm not gonna harp on about that aspect forever bc i think we all know but it's just like, in the face of that annoying tiktok cunts making a list of "every transfem is called [blank] and every transmasc is called [blank]" and there being 6k comments talking about how stupid and unserious it all is is just NASTY. like man shut the fuck up 😭
i don't find it funny like 95% of the time i think it's just like mean ... i also know people could probably read this and be like shut up you're being annoying it's not that deep but like whatever man. i think it's basic decency to not make fun of people for something that's a part of who they are especially if that identity puts them at risk which to be real can affect pretty much everyone other than white cishet christians etc at FAR worse severity/cost and i think instilling the idea that "people's names are fair game" outside of actual tongue in cheek intercommunity good faith joking around is actually Bad. not that i'm actually comparing these things bc it's not 1:1 and has different levels but still i think it comes from the same like... source. the amount of times i've had people use my own name as if it's a gotcha in anon hate is actually astronomical and half of them don't even realise they're BEING literally transphobic is crazy. i mean i've joked about it and i don't take it that seriously but it's still like, transphobic and i hate these people it just also doesn't bother me because i'm a normal person who isn't actually insecure about it and who literally cares what someone's name is. and xfiles girls love me unintentional side effect.
#🐾#like don't get me wrong i did pick the name bc i thought it WAS cute and a bit different and that made it like fun but like ?! how is that#a crime 😭😭 people naming themselves after nouns or angels or fictional characters has been happening forever first of all. and second it#just so seriously doesn't even matter#i also know that the notion of being like ''it's actually transphobic to make fun of a trans person who having a really typical western#english name'' could be weird bc like obviously they're not being targeted for THAT that's not what i'm saying it's just like. mean#to do to someone who chose their name (usually). esp if they're younger too like why are people bullying kids ... get a job ?!#i dunno... just thinkin...#also obv not comparable to you know. racism or antisemitism or antiblackbess etc and the way names being targeted there works#but it's also not like the asshole 16 year old boys on tiktok aren't also holding the same ideals#and i also don't really mean those things that are like Haha every transmasc is named [list of typical bames] though it is annoying#that's just like. well. like i said annoying. i just mean the amount of cunts who have been like is your name REALLY that#i can't believe that's your name i'd never take you seriously if that's true ... you mean that's your online name right like a pseudonym..#you don't Really go by that it's not REAL it's something you CHOSE it's not Serious#LIKE DAMN!!!! shut up 😭#also i actually have seen ppl make fun of a cultural name bc they thought it was a ''trans'' one and therefore fair game#''your name is literally [blank] 💀'' like ...?!#anywya this isn't super serious tldr it's just kinda weird hmmm...
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guys i might be getting back into my heartsteel phase :/
#currently only thinking thoughts of yone#this is a problem#bc thoughts are jumbled#writing may be late#+ school is happening again so#be patient with me pls#love u all#btw#I ALSO NEED TO MAKE A 1K EVENT#WE’RE GETTING CLOSE#BITING MY LIP#ok kalo out now#haha that’s my username#kalo speaks
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my manager is WAY too fucking nice to me im gonna explode
#emeto tw#emeto cw#in tags ->#i started having a panic attack at work earlier but i didnt really get the chance to go in back and chill for a bit so it just got worse#like REALLY fucking bad worse than ive had in . at least years maybe Ever. i have not thrown up in over a decade now but#i started fucking dry heaving behind the register i REALLY thought i was going to be sick it was a close thing#i couldnt even call my coworker up i just had to fucking dip and pray she realized i was gone (she did thank fuck)#and then i was shaking really bad really freaking out still fucking dry heaving in the back of the store and it was just.#easily one of the worst experiences ive had in a LONG time like december will not leave me alone <- covid then appendicitis and now this WH#and my manager hadnt been in the store at the time but she came in thru the back and saw me and i was like hey haha funny story#and she was so concerned and told me to stay in back as long as i needed and that i could go home if i wanted to etc etc#ended up bringing my bag back for me and bringing me water and she checked in on me every 5-10 mins until my parents finally got there#she was rly nice and rly understanding and then the coworker i abandoned who is also kind of my manager. also came back#and SHE was ALSO super fucking sweet about it really concerned didnt want me to feel bad abt it (i feel so fucking bad abt it)#i did end up having to go home early bc. dear god. and i texted my manager just now asking if i could leave a bit earlier tomorrow#bc im supposed to have another 8 hour shift but i didnt even make it to 4 hours today and im rly nervy abt it happening again#and she straight up was like 'are you sure? i was genuinely planning on covering your shift myself' SHE DOESNT EVEN WORK UP FRONT#SHE'D BE GOING BACK AND FORTH BETWEEN THE REGISTER AND KITCHEN AND SHE'D BE THERE FOR AT LEAST OVER 12 HOURS#like okay. okay. when i texted my parents abt it dad told me 'its probably just nerves. try to push through it'#but my manager and coworkers r gonna be the sweetest kindest most understanding people about it. okay. sure. okay.#surely u see why i am exploding WHY ARE THEY SO NICE?????????? i feel so fucking guilty GOD#alyalyoxenfree
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Life must be so weird without menstruation. What’s it like NOT spending one week every month not only being INCREDIBLY uncomfortable but also battling intrusive thoughts like “i dont want to die i just hate being alive!” and “i wish i could be a bug just a little insect with no thoughts i fucking hate being human” and then when the week is over you’re totally back to normal and cannot relate to the creature you became for a short while.? Couldn’t be me.
#WHAT MUST THAT BE LIKE#every month i start having the most batshit thoughts and have to be like#oh no It’s Happening#and then i just have to IGNORE all my impulses for 5-7 days#i talked to my dr abt ppmd—is that what it’s called?? but im already getting two of the best treatments for#*for it#and the other one is hormonal BC which makes me a robot#id rather have SOME feelings than none so#and im not interested in transitioning#early menopause light me up!!!!!!#*PMDD there ya go haha#lmao guys it was rhetorical#is the tone not coming thru??
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i think haurchefant deserves the world. he deserves absolutely everything.
#⋯ ꒰ა starry thoughts ໒꒱ *·˚#⋯ ꒰ა ffxiv ໒꒱ *·˚#dear god i don't think he's even in my top 10 or even 15 but i love him with all my HEART ...................#just so happens my way of favouriting characters is like mhmmhmhmhmh yeah your vibe fits mine frfr#ANYWAYS i will one day write him just talking to my wol. w hot choco#my wol is like me and so smiles and happiness are central to her and important to her but she keeps giving#and doesn't really know how to take. in a way. like me haha. and it connects to how she's a Hero. the warrior of light#and shes light. she's joy. she's a star. but she's also just an adventurer and she doesn't know who she is anymore#outside of her being the warrior of light ... hence i should insert drk in her lore somehow. idk how. but somehow#and that's why her meeting zenos AWAKENED something in her. and that's why fandaniel did too. and. reaper#but in the end she's a summoner and astrologian! she heals and she accepts like. ig help. from others#and i think g'raha and haurchefant both are really a big help in that. and i think my wol is pretty alike to raha#but since shb she's been more assertive ............... man wtf my wol is so similar to me sobs </3 ANYWAYS. ANYWAYS. yeah#i love my warrior of light vv much and all my xiv ocs even if i don't have coherent thoughts#i was thinking making uhmm . i still haven't decided a name for m viera. BUT. i was thinking of making him have a twin#but like. Opposite. then i rmbr i already have twin warrior of lights bcs me and my irl twin like to yeah oops. so yeah#I FORGOT THE LORE I WANT FOR MY OCS NOOOOO aside from their ancient counterparts SOBS#anyways i'm just rambling abt my ocs now so whatever hi. 2 minutes to 4 am goodness me#so my wol is romantically involved w raha ever since arr! don't wnt to make her poly even tho i think poly is very valid bcs ya#BUT i think yeah aus maybe. but also no. i'm so attached to raha that idk tbh#raha's gone for some time so in that time she kinda has stuff goin on w others ..... like lyse and magnai! zenos! idk who else.....#but then uhmm she canonically at the very least has stuff going on w themis and hyth. and zenos. man idk how to do fandaniel though#themis and her get along really well in pandaemonium but i forgot how i was gna go about w it all eeeee#and w hyth! i know the whole thing going on w azem wol hyth themis at least hehe yes. + raha.#idk yet how i'll be able to insert zenos in canon tbh. and i want to put fandaniel somewhere at the very least but nah nvm#i have au ideas too tbh like if wol joined zenos's side. idk how i wanted that to go. just thought it'd be interesting#oh shit it's 4 am GOODNIGHT
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halazia 🐈⬛
#kpop reactions for once bc i've been talking whc1 nonstop these past few days HAHA#why are halateez dead/scarecrows now HELP#i thought they were gonna pull a mama by exo#halazia sounds like a hymn of prayer?? what does halazia even mean#who are they and what happened to halateez!!!#oh god i love the dystopian setting so much </3#NO FIX ON INDEED??? HELLO IS THIS A NEW LEAF OR WHAT WHO ARE THEY#THE BURNING OF THE ICONIC BLACK HAT HELLO??? i hope someone can figure out ateez' lore someday god damn#why are they bringing the marble down for...#'no more keep control'#'no more keep your soul' hello????? who did you sell your soul to???#also wooyoung dancebreak OH#FOUR REFLECTIONS???? WHAT??? WHO??? WHO ARE WATCHING???#damn thats fucking weird but holy shit#toff.txt#unwarranted opinions
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Nothing quite as humbling as looking back at your old takes and realizing that you were completely wrong
#this happens for me when i'm emotionally invested in a character or show and won't let myself acknowledge that it's bad#like i thought the wandavision finale was 'great'...i did so much meta-writing about loki before finally admitting it sucked...#theory-wise i'm not typically incredibly off but when it comes to evaluating quality i do have a subjectivity issue#like moon knight--i really loved that show and did not recognize most of the pacing or plot issues until the finale#to be clear i still love the show because despite its imperfect story the character exploration and acting really held it together#and i love that they took things in a new direction with how deep they were willing to go with exploring trauma#but it was definitely not as good as i was feeling like it was...and it's ok to like things in spite of flaws#i just have to be aware of them haha#but also sometimes i'll absorb other people's critical takes even when they're off-base (e.g. worried about something that doesn't happen)#like with the season finale to the mandalorian season 2--there was some strong criticism of it and i jumped on that train#because i was worried that they were completely abandoning the story and relationships that they had put in place#and canon has since confirmed they aren't (although i still haven't watched bobf) so those worries were at least largely unfounded#but i am still concerned about how they intend to treat din's religion and what his arc will be bc it can still go badly#however those concerns should not make me evaluate existing content unfairly#all of this is why i am so absolutely resistant to seeing any criticism of kenobi#because i am enjoying this show so thoroughly that i don't want anything to burst my bubble#if it is truly not that great i'll recognize that soon enough once the joy of seeing my BOY on screen again wears off#but i am being so positively affected by this show that i don't want anything to burst that bubble#especially because as stated above a lot of criticism comes from people being worried that they'll do something that they aren't doing#like making the show all about vader was a common preemptive criticism. it is clear that is not what's happening#anyway that's an awful lot of thoughts but in short yeah my takes are not perfect and sometimes i am too forgiving#but also i (and others) have been too harsh before and really all it does is kill the joy! i just wanna enjoy the things i love#kay can i just catch my breath for a second#kay has a party in the tags
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