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risetherivermoon · 9 months

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So, since i've finished watching Good Omens, and im obviously a gay nerd, i have thoughts!! 😇

cw: my opinions 😱 + Good Omens 2 spoilers ⚠️

Aziraphale hasn't been ruined, honestly what happened makes so much sense with his character, like??

As we go through the series, Season 1 & 2, he still shows signs of being hesitant to not being a part of heaven, or of hell.

He's an angel originally and that's what makes sense to him. He's lived with how the concepts of heaven and hell work for his entire life, that's not something he was able to un-learn, and it probably won't be something he can do quickly.

I believe that the theory he's been brainwashed by metatron, is just throwing out all of his character development throughout the series. The fact he's so hesitant to being a part of a third, ulterior group with Crowley is pushed so much onto us i'm so shocked people think it was out of character???

He knows there are problems with heaven, he can see them, but he doesn't see it like Crowley does. Crowley has been given the worst treatment by God and Heaven in general, being cast out. He's fallen, so it makes sense that he's used to being betrayed by large groups like heaven and hell, so it makes sense he's already come to the conclusion that being in a third group of just him and Aziraphale is the best course of action.

Aziraphale still has hope and faith for God and Heaven, he disagrees with a lot of things that they do, but he still has this faith, and hope. Which is why when he was given the opportunity to change it for the better? he took it. He wants to make a difference, he wants to make Heaven be what it should be. They are the good guys, he knows this.

Because of him not being used and comfortable with the thought that angels and demons don't have to be fundamentally good or evil, he thinks this is the better way of doing it. Because heaven is the good guys, so if Crowley is reinstated as an angel? then Crowley would be a good guy with Aziraphale.

Crowley, sees this as a betrayal because he thought that Aziraphale knows that neither side is good. Aziraphale, because they both suck at communicating, as thats been established, never expresses his doubt in Crowley's ideology, and Crowley never fully explains it.

Aziraphale wants to make heaven a place where Crowley can come back. He wants to make heaven inhabitable for Crowley, and he wants Crowley to help him make a difference because he thinks thats what Crowley wants. (BECAUSE THEY WONT TALK TO EACHOTHER!!!)

Crowley thinks that Aziraphale wants him to change, to be an obedient pawn in God's game, again. Crowley takes it as Aziraphale thinking he needs to be controlled. Crowley goes "too fast" for him, he's unpredictable and evil.

That whole ending scene was just them not getting eachother AT ALLLLL and Crowley was so desperate for Aziraphale to understand him that he kissed him as a last measure, the gesture was him screaming at Aziraphale to just listen. That's why it was ugly, that's why it was hurtful rather than sweet. They weren't understanding eachother.

Aziraphale says that he forgives Crowley, he chooses those words exactly. "I forgive you." i see that as Aziraphale telling Crowley that he can be an angel again, that even though he's fallen, and God may never forgive him, that Aziraphale does. Aziraphale thinks that Crowley can be an angel again, despite everything. He thinks that Crowley deserves to be accepted back into heaven.

He's wishing that his acceptance of Crowley is enough, but it isn't. And he watches Crowley from afar, and he decides that (sadly) if Crowley doesn't want to listen, than maybe he isn't worth the sacrifice, he isn't worth giving up the opportunity to save humanity and change heaven and hell spontaneously.

Aziraphale looks at Crowley, and he sees their future crumble, he sees their past and present, he sees how much he loves Crowley...and he dismisses it.

Aziraphale is a manipulated child, that strives for the attention and acceptance, thinking that this is the way to finally get it. He has hope.

Crowley is the abandoned child, the reckless and rebellious one. He's adamant on showing both heaven and hell that they don't have control over him. He's been betrayed too many times to ever trust an angel, or a demon.

Crowley thought he'd found someone, finally someone, he could trust, and he watches that crumble in front of him.

anyways, i hope that makes sense :) i love them, they should make up and make out next season, xx

p.s; im so ill abt them

#good omens 2 spoilers #good omens #good omens 2 #aziraphale #crowley #aziraphale x crowley #crowley x aziraphale #ineffable husbands #aziracrow #me rambling like hell

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marcy-wu-on-the-brain · 2 years

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When I asked you guys to ask me Amphibia questions a lot of you asked how I felt about Season 3A. Now that the season is over I decided to just talk about it since yall seemed interested in what I think. First off, do I like season 3A? Yes???? I mean it has...a couple of problems.. The problem is we went from season 2 finale, true colors, to funny frog people in the human world, and it just feels so weird? We literally went from Marcy being KILLED and then we just went into new normal? The transition just feels weird and I wish we had gotten some sort of talking about true colors. We got two mentions of it, where Anne says Marcy has to be alive, and where Anne says she has to make up with Marcy and Sasha, but thats IT. Ive stated before its okay for Anne to not talk about it, ITS IN CHARACER. But Sprig? no?? I get it if Sprig is being a good friend and not asking, but you would think he would mention something? In season 2 he brings up Sasha a lot, hes KNOWN for bringing up things!! Heck even if he wasn’t bringing up Marcy, he hasn’t mentioned Sasha. ALSO, theres the whole fact that Marcy literally saved Sprig and I haven’t seen anyone in the show talking about that. Another issue I have is the FBI, the Wu’s, and the Waybright’s. The FBI is investigating the frogs, which makes sense they should be, but you would think the FBI would be like “Oh wait- this girl just showed up and her friends aren’t with her what did she do to them” BUT NO. Seriously!! I dont wish any harm another Anne or stress its just why isnt see being investigated for murder or kidnapping. Its also weird that the Wu’s and Waybright’s haven’t shown up. Lets say the Wu’s moved away already, which okay makes sense your daughter was gone for 5 months she may be dead so lets move on. BUT THE WAYBRIGHTS?? im not sure if this is all leading up to showing how bad Marcy’s and Sasha’s homes are, maybe they haven’t contacted the Bounchoys because maybe there too busy in work or something? It doesnt make sense still though, like wouldn’t those kids from the school paper start asking questions about Marcy and Sasha? Okay now onto the good stuff: The new characters are so much fun!! God they just bring me so much joy. Im honestly happy that were getting more nerdy characters (to replace that gap in my heart of loosing Marcy-) Right now my favorite human character is Mrs.bounchoy like honestly who gave her the right to be so great. Anne’s parents are so funny and awesome and support Anne. I like Mr.X hes funny and a new interesting villain (although Idk how hes gonna be wrapped up since Darcy and Andrias are our villains) I just love em all. Okay now we can talk about the Darcy in the room.

I.LOVE.DARCY. lets talk about Olivia and Yunan for now. That episode is by far the best episode in season 3A. Its what we all expected season 3 to be. Its the episode that makes sense coming from true colors. Im not even mad Marcy only got 1 episode (I mean she had to heal for a bit that sword like destroyed her body-). This episode is so distributing while also being really funny at the same time?

Drunk Marcy is literally so funny, shes just vibing the entire time and the whole “ohhh its a projection you know like *finger snap* VR!” “vrrrrr???” “its not real ya goof!!” always gets me BUT THEN. Marcy’s fear is one of the best scenes in Amphibia by far, it is so good and fully shows Marcy’s guilt. It sets up so much for the rest of season 3B and its great. Ill do a separate analysis eventually. AND THAT LAST SCENE. it is so scary and upsetting. Its worst than true colors because Marcy is screaming and very clearly in pain. We know things aren’t gonna go well for her in the future sadly because of this one scene. Overall do I like season 3? Yes. But do I have some issues with it? Yes Did these issues ruin my experience? No. Season 3A is great and im excited for Season 3B but it better fix these issues-

#amphibia #amphibia analysis #amphibia season 3 #amphibia season three #amphibia anne #anne boonchuy #amphibia marcy #marcy wu #amphibia sasha #sasha waybright #olivia and yunan #the new normal

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gale-gentlepenguin · 4 years

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For a show whose underlying theme is balance, why is one main protagonist said to be better in almost every way than the other (nothing against either of them) and why is everything about the show so inconsistent?

I don't really know if the underlying theme is balance, because honestly they hardly maintain it if it is. You would get the impression with how they went with the whole Yin-yang for the cat and Ladybug miraculous and how they start off as a duo that it would be balance. But Ladybug is the main character. So naturally she has to be the one that fixes the problem and saves the day. Chat noir is secondary. Which if thats how they want to go about it, thats fine, but like stop making the yin-yang comparisons if it is not actually equal or opposite. Why have chat noir be so relevant yet not crucial? He doesn't need to be a main protagonist, but he could at least be given more.

The show is inconsistent because they have this idea, this potential, but the execution is flawed. Now to be fair to the writing team, they do get some things right. The characters are genuinely likable, when it nails character moments, it hits them hard. It even has a solid idea with the love square.

But the lore aspect is a mix bag at best, the status quo is so strong it strangle holds the story and limits growth. The show puts these limits on itself to play it safe, its so afraid to give the fans what they want too early for fear that they would leave.

I think thats what it really boils down too, Fear. The fear that the show can't take risks, fear that the fans would not like the way they go about changing things. Considering how season 1 to season 2 was received. Its sadly understandable the conclusion they made. As the result, the show has everything comes off as imbalanced and inconsistent

#ml rant #ml salty #miraculous ladybug #ml writing salt #I like the show #but this really gets me fired up

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marziblogsworld · 4 years

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'9-1-1 lone star' a series that deals with diversty, mental health issues and also 9-1-1 calls. Here is my review.

So there are two reason why i wanted to explore this series. First its a spin off the original 9-1-1 so like duh had to. Second because or Rob lowe aka Owen Strand the current captain of the 126 Austin Texas. I have seen Rob lowe in Speedy Singhs (i dont know how many of you have watched this) but i loved him so much in that movie, he was the captain of this hockey team (long story). So when i found out that he is in this series i was like hell yeah i wanna see him again and like always he excelled in his role as a captain. A different captain i would say that actually showed what real masculinity is, i was in awe when i found out that he is a fasionista and a broad-minded guy and also straight. I have never seen a man talk so comfortably and proudly about his hair and skin products and i loved it. Like i said a different take is this series

So this series begans with Owen Strands gets transferred with his son Tyler Strand to Texas Austin to start a fire station from scratch after it was abandoned when its whole crew died in a tragic fire accident except Judson Ryder. Now Owen, with him being brought up in New York the cheif wanted some diversty setup in that county so they asked him for transfer and that is where the story begans

I salute and applaud when i saw that Owen hired a trans, a muslim woman, a dyslexic, and his own son who is an addict and homosexual in his team and showed all of them proudly and let me tell you all of them were rejects before in their previous station because of there status and appreances. So i kinda loved that. Owen Strand stood up and shoved a middle finger to the bigotry so👏👏👏👏👏👏👏 *hands down*.

TK! TK! TK! that poor child is like Buck from S3, when the writer decided to put him in a blender. TK got that taste in S1. He has gone through so much in this first season and i still think he needs to talk more since there is alot of things that is still on his chest. Owen and his bond makes me go 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 fuck these two are killing me. I am sucker for that. Poor baby i feel yah and I wanna see him more progress in S2.

At the same time Carlos honey i want your storyline, your footing, your steps in a situation, you were more of a side character rather then the main and please make some friends that reciprocate your feelings. I feel like you were either drag along or being used so many times because you are cop. Carlos please have a story line in S2 i need to see it. There is more in this latina boy than just being cute. Also a little advice take lesson from Athena in how to be a badass okay!.

ASMR lady Michelle Blake whenever you speak i go😴😴😴😴😴 because your voice is soo soft and smooth like silk. You gave me major vibes of Bedelia from Hannibal. Can you i dont know read an audio book for me it will be an amazing bedtime story for me. Michelle is the captain of the EMS team and her storyline revolves around her sister who suddenly disappeared 3 years ago and Michelle is still finding her. To be honest, her storyline was stretched way too much to complete till 10 episodes and then it was wrapped up so fast like wtf i waited 10 episodes for this!!! was my initial reaction.

So even in this series there is a ship and a pretty hyped one 'Tarlos between TK and Carlos so yaaaahh but sadly like BUDDIE was legit everything onscreen the same could not be said about Tarlos even though this is a canon ship. It didn't hit me that way, maybe because alot was happening offscreen and like OMG they haven't even you know what they are for each other. I mean mostly TK because Carlos is literally on the stage to marry him right at the stop but TK due to his own personal problem is dragging him along which really Carlos doesn't deserve but that poor boy is still with him. I mean talk about love. He didnt left TK at all i would say dedication but still Carlos honey get more scene so even i could see what you actually think about that and hey! Tarlos we don't need things happening offscreen. If you wanna talk, kiss or even just a dinner fucking do it onscreen.

Judd Ryder started as an asshole but than is gaining points more than anybody else, huge respect to him and Grace Ryder sweety you are literally a queen. I mean seriously wife goals.

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa writers fuck you, i mean how could you, like you literally had the audacity to end the series with 'A Night We Met' why?!? Why?!? would you hurt us like this. 13RW fandom will understand my pain and agrees with me. The whole season aside and that feels of the last scene aside. 🤧.

So thats my review. I cant wait for more of them in S2 and also to share my thoughts and journey with you. Follow me guys for more amazing reviews about your favourite movies, tvshows and books and remember recommendations are open.

#9 1 1: lone star #9 1 1 show #9 1 1 fox #owen strand #tyler kennedy strand #marjan marwani #paul strickland #mateo chavez #judson baker #grace ryder #michelle blake #carlos reyes #tarlos #evan buckley #13 reasons why

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lyralumina · 7 years

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on those headcanons, im gonna be mildly predictable here and ask for mokuba

Character: Mokuba Kaiba

1: sexuality headcanon

I actually headcanon Mokuba to be a Demisexual.

2: otp

I actually do not have an OTP with Mokuba sadly. The show had and or made sure that Mokuba was away from lovers quarrel. Mokuba was away from any romantic nonsense. There was no young female characters hitting on Mokuba and even so Mokuba was not interested on dating at all, he was like only ten. He had other things to worry about like for example, Kaiba Corp and making sure his family never breaks apart once again or else he would not be able to take it, he would shatter and that’s the last thing Seto, his older brother, would ever want. I am so sorry but I have nothing for Mokuba.

3: brotp

Jounouchi Katsuya because, They would be so close together, like a second older brother for Mokuba. They would have rare prank wars waged with Seto being the poor victim of it. They would also play games, video games for that matter. Call of Duty, Mario and Sonic at the olympic games (London being both their go to) and Pokemon being their favorite games. Once Jounouchi was so desperate to complete the national dex and Mokuba had the one Pokemon he needed and in order for him to get it, He had to buy Mokuba a slurpee and next thing you know, Jounouchi is walking home with his national dex completed and suffering because he was going to use that money to buy dinner so Jounouchi had ramen noodles that night. Jounouchi snapchats Mokuba like all the time on stupid shit because where Jounouchi lives, it’s so fucking wild. Jounouchi practically lives in the “hood”.

Anzu Mazaki because, Mokuba likes to hang out with her. Anzu could be the older sister. They love to go to cafes together and chat about new things with a hot cup of tea. Things like how Kaiba Corp is starting to expand worldwide, Anzu listening on happily as Mokuba is so thrilled about it that he is forgetting that he is not alone, that she is having to watch him be so enthusiastic about it. Anzu would also teach Mokuba basic things like how to cook and clean for himself and nifty tips and tricks. They would also work out together if they have time, Yoga and cardio mostly. Last thing is that Anzu would absolutely help Mokuba with his homework if he is having any problems. He would ask Seto but he knows that he is too busy running as CEO of Kaiba Corp so he calls and texts Anzu that he is struggling with Algebra. She gladly helps him. Mokuba knows that Anzu is smart.

4: notp

There are people who do ship TabloidShipping, Seto Kaiba X Mokuba Kaiba as far as I am aware. Its incest and I am not up for that. I don’t know why people would ship that but- here we are in 2017 I guess.

5: first headcanon that pops into my head

As most of you are aware, I do headcanon that Mokuba as transgirl, using She/He/They pronouns. I generally headcanon that Mokuba’s wardrobe is fairly mixed with both masculine clothing and feminine clothing. From suits to dresses. Mokuba has it all. Mokuba’s taste in fashion is much better than Seto’s as Seto has taste for simple things like suits and ties while Mokuba is more caught up with their generation of fashion trends. Hell even that one time he saw their big brother in that White suit, They wanted to burn that thing to the ground because god was it tacky, even for him. Mokuba owns quite a lot of amazing clothes but the top three things in his wardrobe are:

-This leather jacket that basically yells out that Mokuba really loves flower embroidered clothing

-This black dress that makes Mokuba feel so pretty

-These boots that Seto bought for Mokuba for his 14th birthday because Seto knows how much Mokuba loves flower embroidered clothing

Combine all these three things and Mokuba has the best outfit the world has ever seen.

6: one way in which I relate to this character

We both have an older brother. I do not care for my older brother at all so I cannot relate so well with Mokuba because he would do anything to make his brother happy. I never cared about my family so well, I lost the care to love for them ages ago.

7: thing that gives me second hand embarrassment about this character

There is nothing that would make me embarrassed about liking Mokuba. In fact, Mokuba Kaiba is my third favorite character in Duel Monsters, he even beat out Atem and Yugi for me. One thing that does make me feel rather riled up is the fact that the fandom (Facebook more so) is really clueless when it comes to how Mokuba is such an amazing character. They use the whole "but he gets kidnapped all the time” as a gag to make Mokuba seem worthless and that Mokuba should not even exist at all since he brings nothing to the table. That is a lie and I just stare at my screen with the world’s blankest face because it’s an everyday thing as far as it goes. Mokuba is so much more than the "damsel in distress” sure he got kidnapped from time to time but that is no reason to use that against his character, or better yet use that as a defining character trait. Trust me, they use the whole kidnapping thing as a character trait for him and its beyond me.

8: cinnamon roll or problematic fave?

Both actually. Season 0 wise he was a little munchkin, you know that one episode of MPGIS where the little barbie doll is just like

“It was me! Mikayla Van Buren!““Jesus Christ, Is that a fucking gremlin?” “No. I’m a third grader!” “Whatever, just no one feed that fucking thing after midnight.”

Thats Mokuba in Season 0 in a nutshell. I love him so much though. Duel Monsters wise : I LOVE HIM! THAT’S MY SON WHO I WILL LOVE AND PROTECT WITH THE REST OF MY LIFE. Dark Side Of Dimensions wise :

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8fsH1Rp_5bk

#the-blonde-goblin #yu-gi-oh!#mokuba kaiba

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adambstingus · 5 years

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Are You The One Recap: Gio Olympics 2016—Everyone Is A Fucking Loser

Wooohoo, were back. Last week was a fresh and raging shitstorm and I gotta say, I was really looking forward to this week and holy shit did it not disappoint. Im sure cast members took a long, collective groan when they saw this episode and remembered that bitchy girl on the internet is going to destroy them the next day in the recap.

So lets give the people what they want, shall we?

They all are like, “FUCK WE SUCK AT THIS” after getting 4 beams, 4 weeks in a goddam row. Prosper suggests a good old fashioned orgy, because hes a thinker! They all just need to have sex morethats clearly what theyre missing.

PROSPER: There was a moment last night, when she was sandwiched between the two Finnish dwarves and the Maori tribesmen, where I thought,

Gios like hey Prosper, thanks for having my back when I acted like a psycho on TV back there and Prosper is like Id really like to be excluded from this narrative.

Gios like I tried to fight Stephen because of principle and is like if I let one person do it, everyone will. Gio is like an anamorph with some of the shit he says. Everytime he says something that sounds so fucking stupid you want to shove your head into a blender, he morphs further and further into his final form: Donald Trump.

Julias like “I know I should be sad that everyone is fighting over me, but like, Im so happy.” Its not her fault shes so popular!! Meanwhile Stephen is like “LOVE ME PLEASE” and is crying in the confessional. Jesus Christits looking like a tequila kind of night.

Everyone is like they havent even kissed yet!!! which is low-key embarrassing. Its one thing to be pussy whipped when you are, shall we say, getting said pussy.

Julias like KISSING IS HUGEits more important than sex!! Well, one can lead to a child and the other cant, so lets just go with thats wrongthough there are a million Mormon mothers out there who agree with you. Seriously, I had a more intimate relationship in 6th grade.

MORMON MOMS EVERYWHERE: Honey you can only watch MTV if its to watch that nice girl with the overbite who is ABSTAINING. Now come on, get your helmet on and go sell the word of God!

Kaylen and John learn they have a lot in commonmostly just that they cant stand their parents. Thrilling stuff really. I like them both so I wouldnt be mad, just more confused. Yes, very confused.

THE GAME

YES, best part of the season: the dudes exes are here. The girls are so pumped and the guys are trying to find the tallest building to jump off.

The exes come out and they are disappointing to say the least. Def bottom tier sorority status. But hey, yall got a free trip to Maui so like, good job. Congrats on dating losers, I guess it worked out in the end.

Tylers like my ex threw a box of wine at my head, which is a little embarrassing for several reasons. First of all, you just admitted you’re poor. I havent drank boxed wine since I was 19 in a frat house (aka Morgans mothership). And for maximum damage, you should always throw a bottle. And this has been another episode of: teaching someone very obvious things!

The dudes pair with their exes and they get asked questionswhoever answers the most similarly gets a point. Propser doesnt have an ex because his longest relationship was three weeks LOLLLLL. He basically has to sit it out because he ghosts too much. Im weak.

Question 1: Does your ex still think youre a good catch?

Gios ex is like, . Hes immature and Kaylens like Hes also fucking crazy, dont forget that yall. John, Asaf, Stephen and Cam get it right. Moving on.

Question 2: In one word how did your ex describe your relationship?

Gio gets a match because he said crazy and she said ridiculous. At least Gio fucking knows hes crazy. Admitting is the first step.

Morgans ex said that hes really smart and he acts like a stupid frat boy and its like, LOL okay. Whatever you have to tell yourself to sleep at night, honey. Maybe if you keep telling yourself you didnt date TFMs poster boy, you might retain some self-respect. I get it.

Toris like WOW hes so deep! Underneath all that muscle and that abnormally square head, he has a heart! Fucking incredible.

Question 3: Does your ex think youre ready to settle down?

Everyone says no. Im sure your matches are PUMPED. Johns very excited about this*fist bumps everyone around him* *pounds beer and crushes it on his forehead* *screams FUCK YEAH MERICA!*

Question 4:What animal best describes your personality?

Tylers ex is literally here to ruin lives, Im low-key living for it.

RYAN: What animal is Tyler? EX: Dog shit RYAN: Thats not an animal EX: RYAN: EX: RYAN: Okay, dog shit it is.

Stephen keeps getting them wrong and Gio keeps getting them rightmostly because every answer has been something like crazy, psycho or horrible. Gios like know yourself, know your worth.

Its down to John, Gio and Cam and Stephen is praying that John/Cam win. Putting your faith in Cam is like waiting for rain in this droughtuseless and disappointing (name that movie, Sam.)

Last Question: Does your ex think you still have feelings for her?

Cam, of course answers it incorrectly, so its John and Gio. Its also, dare I say, fucking lit.

John picks Kaylen and Gio picks, of course, Julia. Talk about the most awkward double date ever. This has given me life.

Julia and Stephen are talking and Stephen is like freaking out about Gio and Julia. He def very worried that Gio may be right.

STEPHEN: That plan is crazy JULIA: I know STEPHEN: So crazy. It just might work

Gios like “I NEED TO MOVE FORWARD OTHERWISE IM GONNA RUIN EVERYTHING FOR ALL OF YOU FUCKERS.” Basically, Gio is a giant asshole. Case closed, bring in the dancing lobsters.

There is a lot of mixed opinions here. Some want to vote Julia/Gio in because itll end this shit, some dont want to waste a truth booth.

HALF THE HOUSE: Im voting for Regina George because she got hit by a bus. THE OTHER HALF OF THE HOUSE: Im voting for Cady heron because shes the one that pushed her.

Prosper and Bagel are cuddling and laughing and let me tell you, I never saw this coming. Hes like youre sexy and Bagels like “I KNOW.” Our self-conscious little Bagel has grown into a confident young pastry *tear.

Tori and Morgan are in a room talking about repopulating the world and other totally relevant shit. Morgan is clearly hammered and is feeling on her ass, talking about her giant ass belly button.

Shes like I had to grow into my belly button and hes like “AH SO THATS WHY YOU GAINED WEIGHT.” YOOOOOOOO, that shit was loaded. Remember that big heart and big brain Morgan supposedly has? Best joke thats been told on this show.

He then is like NO NO THATS NOT WHAT I MEANT! and then is like I wish your ass was fatter. This whole conversation could honestly go down in history as the worst thing to ever exist. Wow, bravo to all involved.

THE WORLDS MOST UNCOMFORTABLE DATE AKA EVERYTHING I HAVE EVER WANTED

For the date, they are going wakeboarding, where Stephen hopes Gio accidently drowns, whoopsie. John gets up on the wake board and Kaylens like And yeah, she really does fucking suck.

BUT ENOUGH ABOUT THOSE TWO!!! Gio keeps touching Julia and shes like kinda uncomfortable, kinda not stopping it, which is the story of Julias life.

Mind you, this girl believes kissing is like the ultimate commitment while Gios like, a sex addict.

CHAZZ MICHAEL MICHAELS/GIO: I’m a sex addict. It’s my cross to bear. It’s a real disease with doctors and medicine and everything!

Gios like if I leave here without you I have nothing! and its like, we get it, youre homeless. She says they only have a physical connection and hes like “I KNOW ISNT IT GREAT!?!”

GIO: *plays music* You and me baby aint nothing but mammals so lets do it like they do on the Discovery Channel

They argue the whole time and Gio is like YOURE MINE. Honestly, this dude needs to be put in a psych ward, not a homeless shelter. What are you gonna do, Gio? Fucking share a cot with Julia? Make her hold the sign while you panhandle?

TRUTH BOOTH

Gios like “When I won the challenge, it was amazing. Like fate, karma, the universe, anal sex. But now I feel jipped. What did he expect? They were gonna start fucking on the wakeboarding date?

Gio believes there is still a chance that Julia becomes so afraid for her safety she finally submits to himhes really holding out for that.

Obviously, Julia and Gio are voted to the truth booth. Stephen is like “THIS COULD CHANGE MY LIFE” and its like, nah probs not but ok.

John is pissed because, hes right, they fucking blew a truth booth on this bullshit. Its like, very clear that they are not a match and they just blew this whole thing.

Gios like the house is gonna feel stupid AF and Morgans like NO, youre gonna feel stupidwhen were like, right and stuff. ANYWAYS YOURE FAT!

While Gios planning his hostile takeover of Julias bed, shes like should I cut my wrist horizontally or vertically?

Im on edge and drinking excessively. This is low-key nerve wracking. But the results are in.

Hey Gio? Are you a 90s band that peaked with one song about cocaine? BECAUSE YOUR THIRD EYE IS BLIND, BITCH. NO MATCH FOR GIO AND JULIA, DO NOT PASS GO, DO NOT COLLECT TWO HUNDRED DOLLARS.

GIO, SADLY SINGING: I want somethin else *tear* to get me through this, semi-charmed kind of life, baby baby

And Julias like “there is someone out there for you, but that girl is NOT ME. FUCK YES!” Hes like in there crying and shes like checking her watch like, can we go now?

Stephen is crying too wtf is going on? Johns like consoling him and seriously, Ive seen less tears in my sorority house.

Julias like there, there Gio. Youve been through worse. Yeah honestly Gio, youve lived on the fucking streets. This is the least of your problems.

They come back and John is like and tells Gio that he needs to apologize to the group, Stephen and Julia. Honestly, Im a few tequila shots deep, because my life now consists of drinking alone and watching MTV reality shows, and Im all about John rn. Like is he really sexy or am I fucking hammered?

The conversation goes like: JOHN: Apologize GIO: no JOHN: please die

Julia thanks Stephen for being by her side and dealing with the fact she has never kissed him and he still tries to fight dudes twice his size. And finally they kiss. Aw, Julias first kiss! Babys first rave, babys first rave!

GIO, STILL CRYING AND SINGING: I wish you would step out from that ledge my friend.

The next day, Asaf and Franny are messing around and making out and hes like SHE VERY FUN, hehe. My mom and I discussed this whole thing in a riveting conversation below:

Morgan and the team get a meeting together and decide to do 100% new couples, except Asaf and Camille, because they are probs a match. This is a terrible idea. But Im here for it.

Stephen is like “THIS IS BULLSHIT! I want to pick Julia!” Im ready to put this whole relationship to bed, honestly.

MATCHUP CEREMONY

Ryan is wearing a fugly gray shirt that fades into plaid. Seriously that shit looks like the Sean John collection circa 11. Yikes.

Gio is up first and Ryan is like how did it feel to be wrong? Gios like Well sometimes the third eye has blurry vision, ya know? Who could say?

Gio kind of apologizes to Stephen, but not really.

GIO: I dont hate you because you’re fat; you’re fat because I hate you.

Gio picks Nicegirl Nicole, which is funny because she is the one who looks like she hates him the most half the time.

Prosper picks Franny and Ryans like OKAY, what the fuck are you people doing? Franny explains the strategy and Ryans like, Well arent you all just a bunch of loveable asswipes?

Stephen is up next. Hes like Waiting for that kiss was so worth it. Now hes just gotta wait for his balls to drop.

Ryans like “Are you going to pick Julia” and Morgans like bro Ill fucking haze the shit out of you bro if you fucking do thatFATASS! Of course, he goes against the grain and picks Julia. Ah, selfish men and criers, Julia has a type.

They start making out in front of everyone like Mormon moms everywhere are turning off their TVs, cursing that sinning whore Julia.

Tyler picks Bagel.

Cam picks Tori.

All the confirmed perfect matches at this point are like

Morgan picks Victoria.

Asaf says he thinks Franny is the one, which is very weird since a few weeks ago she was like his sister. Ryans like You mad youre not with her? and hes like STRATEGY, VERY NICE.

Asaf is like Acting like hes fucking jumping on a bomb instead of picking a girl to sit by for 3 minutes. John and Kaylen ARE last and they look miserable.

Kaylens like Gio I loved you and you fucking blew it and were wrong!!! Uh, you two arent a match either? Time to move the fuck on.

Of course, true to the martyr theme we got going here, hes like

RYAN:If you loved her you wouldnt have left her GIO: Honestly I feel so attacked right now

Suddenly Gio is saying that everything he did was for Kaylen. Bullshit, bullshit, bullshit.

Like a speech from a riveting sports movie, Camille is like NO YOU FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT AND HELP US WIN THIS MONEY and everyone claps along. Like yeah Gio, lets go out there and win this fucking game! And Gios likehmmm, maybe some money and future prospects in life would be cool.

Were waiting for the beams and they arent coming. HOLY. FUCKING. SHIT. This is not a thing rn. OH, but it isTHEY GET A BLACKOUT.

This means Stephen/Julia, John/Kaylen AND Camille/Asaf arent matches. I think all 10,000 people who watch this show are stunned into shock.

They just lost 250,000 dollars, as Victoria so eloquently screams. Looks like youll be drinking boxed wine forever, Tyler.

Wow, this shit. This shit practically wrote itself. How did Gios third eye not see this coming?

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from All Of Beer http://allofbeer.com/are-you-the-one-recap-gio-olympics-2016-everyone-is-a-fucking-loser/ from All of Beer https://allofbeercom.tumblr.com/post/182227933232

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allofbeercom · 5 years