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baconlettucetomatoeggs · 1 year

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day 0: storytelling and dev expectations day 0.1: (partially) setting up environment

idk bout y'all but i live in spite: i spite the fact that even if i should be qualified doing this i actually dont know batshit (long story including just toxic amount of insecurity and commitment issues), and the fact that i can't read books in my psp.

why? idk. i suspect that Bookr (0.)8.2 doesnt really support UTF-8 natively (converts to cp1253...because greek. with vietnamese support still intact. if you know any shit about windows character pages, you know this is a mindfuck). worse is that its base was using mupdf 0.5 which is a mindfuck to begin with. no jbig2 support, no jpeg2000... no anything. excellent choice but i can't open books. oh wait! they do actually have support decoding those but chose not to put it on bookr for some reason.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

so some history: bookr came from psppdf. this is essentially just a fork of mupdf rendering on your psp. nothing much on the run here but we're talking about really something here: the fact that it can render pdf on a device with a measely amount of RAM (16MB!) i guess that should look for something? and tell you what? bookr? is just a fancy frontend of this original fork. it passed its hands to a lot of hands with few patches or so. they resolved crashes or two and you can definitely run this on PSP2000(lots of RAM!) but the memory leaks are still there. yeah, looking at one page to another? can make the system crash itself. epubs mojibake the fuck out of each other, etc etc etc etc. honestly i dont know what to do except maybe "fuck it, we ball" and just use it as is. hell, back then they convert pdf's to images so you can read it. i'm not that insane

so to set our goals here:

change the freetype base to support utf-8 with font-shaping stuff include. i wanna read arabic and east asian scripts while reading latin extensions and greek character sets.

full implementation of mupdf, with more recent sources included in the implementation

include epub support. i fucking need it. probably replace the tinyxml library included there to mupdf. not that it does any better

caching. seriously, even android ebook readers cache their pages. this is where i get problems: how the fuck i can cache? should i cache rendered pages? etc etc etc. (sidenote: for moon+ reader it caches fonts and media. for bookr they cache CHM for its forks. for pdf and the likes, they're rendered as-is where-is. expect a *lot* of slowdowns.)

just fix jankiness? (makefile needs to compile the other libraries but doesnt autocompile that. needs an external freetype library that exposes your pathname…etc etc etc)

for every new implementation (including every item here in this list) ask "what's the worse that could happen?" and realise "oh, there's a reason why they do it this way"

so that's pretty much it! if this came into fruition, i wanna call it "bookr 0.9.0" even if it's actually based on bookr 0.7.1 with everything made from ground up and without all the features bookr (0.)8.1 famously known for (this also includes zbookr fork) --------------------------------------------------

so this is, idk how many days have passed since i first daydreaming about this. so here's some things to know about me

i'm bad at coding. i'm def noob at everything here.

and even if i am knowledgable with c++ by the virtue of knowing a bit of C#, you know their (in our case) main difference, right? garbage collection. so expect those programmers to not really concern the bare metal of things... which is bad considering you only work with few MB of space (a page already consumes 1MB of RAM. worse is that MuPDF only added splitted rendering as an afterthought (i think) so good luck with memory management)

i'm never were familiar with development. welp i did but that was long time ago. i already forgot.

worse is that i'm a newb here. coding expectations are different. imma give one example: i never thought of putting "game development" and "no game engine" in one thought. this is exactly the setup i'm working with. not that nerds at psp-sdk were that insane, but we're getting close to that. there aint much game engines back in the noughties. good given the fact i'm not a game dev and my IDE of choice is Notepad/Featherpad

this project is larger than i usually do on an afternoon and i need something stronger. Atom IDE's on EOL next month, so VSCode it is.

idk which operating system i should work on. this is the silliest part for me (and shows how green i am in development in general). i first thought when the sdk needs cygwin, i thought "well sure i can run this on linux lol" then BAM their compilers read functions differently. (some included strncpy() on your compiler, and some arent. why the heck i need ifndef declarations???). in the end it took a good chunk of a week just to reinstall and dont get me started with the ppsspp: on windows they show you illegal instructions and stuff. linux? gone. if it crashed, good luck finding it! no blue screens and shit. also? bookr only compiles with really old psp-sdk, like 2008 old. addenum to fix! (though you can use new sdk but expect errors)

this is c++ btw. psp-sdk supports toolchain for Rust but still in beta phase (lots of functions not implemented directly). there's LLVM/Clang but idk if i should trust something like that on embedded. also a lot of OpenGL is done here and i never learned that (only console-based programs)

so remember when a philosophy major librarian laughed at you for getting ecrits randomly because you wanna read lacan? yeah i feel that awkwardness right now here. i'm still tired from moving things up (family got moved out and we moved a lot of stuffs this whole week and the next one so i left it unchecked until December. yep imma continue this on December)

so here's my tasky for the next cycle

install VSCode. i need intellisense. done yesterday

install graph editor (Microsoft Visio for example) done two days ago

flowchart everything (for 2 weeks. this is a thing we did once in a startup place i went. it was effective that time that i understand a whole system at once. i hope it works here as well. i need to see the relationships of all the codes that work everything. kinda bad when the system get soooo complex)

so that's pretty much it. i haven't installed that much and set up my environment (adding includes and stuff like that.) i really wish i can start working on this. i'm tired. i haven't read my books still and never learned to code. sigh. i just want to have solid commitment in anything. good luck

#eggs-dev-stuff #psp-homebrew #bookr

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trensu · 4 years

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Episode 28: The One where LXC Loses his Title as Greatest Wingman

THAT’S RIGHT GUYS

WE’RE HERE

THE ONE THAT HOLDS ONE OF THE MOST PRECIOUS, CLASSIC WANGXIAN SCENES IN THE WHOLE SHOW

THE SCENE THAT JUST BURSTS WITH WANGXIAN DOMESTICITY AND WE DIE FROM THE SHEER FLUFFINESS OF IT ALL

Shockingly this VERY IMPORTANT wangxian moment doesn’t start until the 34min mark.

So we’re gonna power through those first 34min to get to the parts that actually matter

We’re still at the burial mounds

Emotional Yungmeng Bro Drama happens

It’s very upsetting

There’s a lot of feelings everywhere.

I can’t defend you if you keep this path, jc protests

You can’t defend me? Then Leave me, wwx says, tell the world i defected, he says, my actions are no longer associated with the jiang clan he says

WHO KNEW BROTHERLY LOVE COULD BE SO PAINFUL, AMIRITE GUYS? HAHA *CHOKES BACK SOBS*

LET’S SKIP AHEAD!

Jc’s gone, maybe it’ll get better now??

A-YUAN TIME!!

Oh no, little a-yuan is hungry!!

Wen qing gives him the last of the fruit because a-yuan activated her Good Big Sister instincts

Ah, look at his happy face as he takes the fruit!

The wwx shows up with MORE fruit and a-yuan does the leg-grabby thing!!

ADORABLE

Great, now we get Emotional WWX and WQ Bonding Time

SHE TRIES TO GIVE HIM AN OUT

SHE TRIES TO GET HIM BACK TO HIS FAMILY

Wwx is not having it so instead he acts all charming and teases her until the matter is dropped

I LOVE THEM SO MUCH

Other stuff happens, boring boring boring

Moving forward

Yunmeng bro fight scene!

The first half was pretty neat and then they did a bunch of funky flying moves that had me like, why, why must you do this, please stop and give me wangxiantics instead

They did not stop

But they did do some wonderful Twirling, so I guess i can forgive them a little

Oh, sadface, a paperman gets viciously slaughtered by jc

(@theuntamednarrator pointed out that this fight scene PARALLELS a future fight scene on a moonlit rooftop THAT WE’RE NOT GONNA THINK ABOUT BECAUSE IT MAKES ME SAD)

Wwx, at some point in this fight is all: oh look, i’ve been impaled

(what’s a little light stabbing between siblings, amirite?)

More stuff happens that we don’t care about

But we’ll take a moment to laugh at wwx here

Wwx is like, imma hide this gaping stab wound from the world’s greatest doctor by distracting her with potatoes

It doesn’t quite work bc wen qing immediately makes a grab for him

Wwx is scandalized!

Wwx: Men and women shouldn’t be improperly intimate!!

Wwx: you suddenly doing this makes me scared for my virtue which i’m obviously saving for lan zhan!

She backs off for half a second; then wwx winces but he recovers quickly by being all i’m totally fine, look at how fine i am, i’m flinching because of HUNGER PAINS, NOTHING ELSE

If he weren't so charming and adorable none of this would've worked

Other non-wangxian nonsense occurs

Some more non-wangxian stuff

A scene featuring Disaster Het Jin Zixuan and our Perfect Elder Sister Jiang Yanli

Jzx is all, i know carp tower isn’t your home but i’m willing to build another lotus pier here for you

...ugh, fine, okay, maybe you’ve grown on me a little by now, you huge Disaster Het BUT ONLY BECAUSE YOU’RE MAKING JYL HAPPY, YOU HEAR ME?? ALL BETS ARE OFF IF YOU MAKE HER CRY AGAIN

We’ve made it through the 34 minutes!!

GET READY GUYS

We’re at a tea house in Yiling! There’s lots of people! AND THEY’RE ALL TRASH-TALKING MY BEAUTIFUL SUNSHINE BOY WTF

But hey, look in the background is lwj, (angrily) listening to people trash-talk our sunshine boy.

God, he sits so straight, it looks almost painful

I mean, in terms of posture

We know he’s not straight in any other way lol

The only time we get full body shots of him in this scene is when he’s blurred and out of focus in the background, which is interesting

When he’s at the forefront of the scene, it’s all close-ups of his (angry) face

But even with the close ups, we only see parts of his face. One half of his face at a time, close-ups on the eyes (or one eye) specifically at times

It’s not until the end of that teahouse scene that we get to see a full shot of him and that’s only when he’s had Enough of people slandering his soulmate and slams his (poor innocent) tea cup onto the table and (viciously) glares at the gossipers

He leaves the teahouse (angrily)

Lwj is (angrily) walking through the marketplace

He walks past some random lady and the lady turns the hell around so fast and BLATANTLY CHECKS HIM OUT, oh god, that’s HILARIOUS

(you are not alone in this, lady, YOU ARE NOT ALONE)

Then, we have one of the best tropes of all, ACCIDENTAL CHILD ACQUISITION

THERE IS A CHILD CLINGING TO HIS LEG

IT’S A-YUAN

A-YUAN HAS SURGICALLY ATTACHED HIMSELF TO LWJ

WE ALL LOVE HIM FOR IT

Wwx does not notice his child is missing bc he is haggling, which is important but maybe not as important as missing a child.

Omg the look of panic on his face when he finally realizes a-yuan is gone gutted me for half a second.

REALIZING YOU’VE LOST A CHILD IN A CROWDED PLACE IS THE WORST FEELING IN THE WORLD, OKAY

But i get over this quickly bc WWX FINDS A-YUAN CLINGING TO LWJ’S LEG.

GUYS

THIS SCENE

THIS SCENE MAKES ME SO HAPPY

IT’S MADE OF RAINBOWS AND BUTTERFLIES AND ITTY BITTY KITTIES

Okay, let's break it down because there’s JUST SO MUCH GOOD STUFF HERE WE NEED TO PROPERLY APPRECIATE ALL OF IT

FIRSTLY, lwj’s face.

There is a loudly crying child clinging to his leg

He is surrounded by nosy talkative strangers (PARENT strangers!!) all Judging™ him for his (lack of) parenting skills

And lwj’s face is about as External Panic as lwj can make it bc our boy is FREAKING OUT

THERE IS A CRYING CHILD

LATCHED ON TO HIS LEG

STRANGERS ARE ASSUMING HE’S THE FATHER

BUT HE ISN’T

THEY DON’T LISTEN WHEN HE TELLS THEM HE ISN’T

THEY SAY THEY HAVE THE SAME NOSE?? THEY SAY HE RESEMBLES THIS STRANGE UNKNOWN CRYING CHILD SOMEHOW??

AND WORSE STILL, THEY’RE SAYING HE’S A BAD FATHER

THEY’RE ALL LIKE, OH LOOK HE SCOLDED HIS POOR KID AND NOW WON’T EVEN HUG HIS KID TO MAKE HIM FEEL BETTER??

HIS FACE, OMG

HIS FACE SCREAMS: DEAR GOD WHAT IS HAPPENING HOW DO I MAKE IT STOP

LWJ IS DYING INSIDE

AND HE KIND OF WANTS TO DIE OUTSIDE

(There’s one guy who kinda takes pity on him and was like, ah, he’s your first kid, huh? I was like that with MY first kid but now i know everything after my wife gave a few more births. It’s a learning process!)

And ohoho, boy, does lwj learn (later, after horrible horrible things happen)

Secondly, WWX IS HAVING THE TIME OF HIS LIFE WATCHING ALL OF THIS UNFOLD BEFORE HIM

HIS SMILE IS HEART-STOPPINGLY BEAUTIFUL

HE’S STIFLING GIGGLES

IT’S SO CUTE I WANNA DIE

Finally, wwx takes pity on poor lan zhan

I would like to point out that he takes pity on lan zhan only after the crowd of Judgy Parents start asking A-Yuan where his mother is

And like, i don’t want to fall into the pit of heteronormativity and stereotypical gender roles, BUT THAT’S HILARIOUS

Wwx: Lan zhan!

Lwj looks up and the world fades away when he sees wwx, with his cute little smile, making his way towards him in slo-mo

Like, literally slow motion and literally the world fades away until basically only wwx is in focus, THIS IS HOW LWJ SEES WWX ALL THE TIME, OMG IT’S AMAZING

AND OF COURSE ~THEIR SONG~ IS PLAYING IN THE BACKGROUND

I’M SCREAMING, EVERYTHING IS GREAT

LWJ STARES AT HIM WITH SUCH YEARNING

And even when they’re right in front of each other, they KEEP STARING AT EACH OTHER, SOAKING UP EACH OTHER’S PRESENCE

WHICH I LOVE, but also there’s a crying child right there maybe take care of him??

Wwx: lan zhan, what a coincidence! What are you doing i yiling?

WHAT DO YOU THINK HE’S DOING IN YILING, WWX

IT’S NOT LIKE HIS SOULMATE LIVES AROUND THAT AREA OR ANYTHING

Lwj: night hunt. Passing by.

Short and sweet and to the point

I’m convinced it’s because his brain has short-circuited from the double whammy of Accidental Child Acquisition and OMG My Beautiful Soulmate is With Me and Smiling

Lwj: ....this child

Wwx: ah, yes, this is MY son

I read a post on tumblr that says the actual translation of that line was more like “ah, yes, i gave birth to this child”

Which would explain lwj’s absolutely stunned and confused expression

I mean, the fact that he doesn’t immediately dismiss this as the nonsense that it is, is absolutely HILARIOUS to me

Like, for a split second there he honestly believed wwx??

He must’ve been like, wait, is this a side effect of demonic cultivation??!?!?

That doesn’t sound right but i don’t know enough about demonic cultivation to dispute it

But then wwx starts giggling at him which gives away the game

Wwx: hey, lan zhan, what did you do? Why is a-yuan crying?

Lwj: I didn’t do anything

Wwx: ah, i see what happened. Lan zhan, as pretty as you look, you still have resting bitch face.

(no for real, wwx called him pretty, i died a little when i heard him say it and i’m pretty sure lwj did too)

Wwx: a-yuan doesn’t know any better so of course he’d look at you and start crying!!

Lwj stares at a-yuan (who is now clinging adorably to wwx) and you can see in his face that his New Life Mission is to get A-Yuan to Like Him.

It is IMPERATIVE that this small child Like Him. Not for any particular reason, of course. But this Must happen.

Even if it means having to go to an Ancient Fantasy China plastic surgeon to get his resting bitch face problem resolved

THANK GOD WE DON’T HAVE TO RESORT TO THAT

Wwx kneels down to comfort a-yuan and lwj watches him interact with this small child and VISIBLY SWALLOWS before looking away

Like it was too much cute to handle

Like oh shit, i want wwx’s children

Like oh shit, i want to be a dad???

GUYS WE SEE THE EXACT MOMENT LWJ REALIZES HE WANTS KIDS

THANK YOU WORLD FOR BLESSING US WITH THIS MOMENT

Okay, quiz time!

How do we make a small child stop crying?

Answer - Distraction!

What is the best distraction for a small child?

Answer - TOYS

Wwx pulls a-yuan to a toy stall

The music here gets all upbeat and playful. (In fact, it’s the same music that played in the ‘flower petals rain on LWJ’ scene in The One where NHS is Total Cockblock omg i just had to reference my own guide to make sure that was the right episode lol this is exactly why i’m making this). I love this music!!

So they admire the toys and wwx picks up one of them and is like, do you like this one?

A-yuan of course says yes bc all kids love toys

Then wwx is like, cool, and proceeds to drag a-yuan away from the toy stall without the toy

SAD FACE A-YUAN :(

Lwj sees Sad Face A-Yuan and does the Lan Clan version of running (aka lengthening his strides and quickening his steps slightly)

Lwj: wei ying, why didn’t you buy it for him?

Dude, he sounds almost accusatory here, it’s GREAT

Wwx: ??? why should I???

Lwj: you asked him if he wanted it, doesn’t that mean you’re going to buy it?

Wwx: asking is asking, buying is buying. Who says i have to buy something just because i asked about it?

Wwx, lwj has a point tho. It’s kinda mean to lead a kid on like that

And here lwj sounds all hesitant (and shy?? maybe??) like he doesn’t want to scare a-yuan again. He looks at him briefly

Lwj: which one...do you want.

Then when a-yuan doesn’t immediately burst into tears, he speaks more confidently.

Lwj: among those, which one did you want?

And a-yuan points to the toy he wants with all the confidence small children have when they know they’re about to get exactly what they want

Omg, lwj looks at wwx as soon as he sees which toy a-yuan wants

It’s a look that says I’M GETTING THIS CHILD A TOY AND YOU CAN’T STOP ME

And wwx just beams at him like a ray of sunshine!! HE’S MELTING INSIDE, YOU CAN TELL

HE’S ALL LIKE, OMG LAN ZHAN IS SO SWEET WITH CHILDREN

OMG LAN ZHAN WOULD BE A GREAT DAD

OMG I WANT LAN ZHAN TO CO-DAD A-YUAN WITH ME

Cut to a-yuan gleefully playing with his new toys

He and wwx are play fighting with cute little wooden swords and it’s SO ADORABLE I’M GONNA DIE

And lwj watches them for moment with the FONDEST LOOK ON HIS FACE

A-yuan notices that lwj is there again and immediately ditches wwx to cling to lwj’s leg

Smart, kid, smart

Butter up the rich guy who makes wwx smile

Wwx laughs: lan zhan, congrats! My kid likes you! He only hugs the legs of his favorite people and then never lets go

Lwj: *internally probably* i wish YOU’D hug me and never let me go

Also

YES! LIFE MISSION COMPLETE. WWX’S CHILD LIKES ME

Wwx: you should ditch your night hunt and have a meal with me

Lwj: a meal?

Lwj: *internally probably* OMG DID HE JUST ASK ME OUT ON A DATE?? AND HE CALLED ME PRETTY EARLIER??? TODAY IS THE BEST DAY

He then pretends to hesitate bc YOU GOTTA PLAY IT COOL

CAN’T CLUE HIM IN ON HOW DESPERATELY YOU WANT TO KEEP HIM WITH YOU FOREVER

BE COOL, LWJ, BE COOL, BE COOL

Wwx: c’mon, we hardly see each other! We can reminisce about the old days! It’ll be my treat~!

Wwx what, YOU HAVE NO MONEY WHAT ARE YOU EVEN SAYING

Wwx grabs lwj’s arm and drags him away

Lwj’s brain rn: !!!!!!!!!!!!!!

But they run off WITHOUT A-YUAN??

Good thing a-yuan is quick on his feet, god damn

AND THAT’S THE END OF ONE OF THE BESTEST EPISODES OF THE SHOW

GOD I NEEDED THIS AFTER THE HELLSCAPE OF LAST EPISODE WHERE EVERYONE MADE ME ANGRY

And lets give a round of applause to our precious adorable A-Yuan who somehow managed to latch on to the one person in the entire town that is completely head over heels in love with wwx and who wwx has been pining for since their sad separation in the rain.

FOUR FOR YOU, A-YUAN. YOU GO, A-YUAN!!

Return to Masterpost

#WangXiantics #wangxian #the untamed #cql

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brazilianism · 6 years

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Brazilian Elections - Let’s talk about Fernando Haddad

Alright, so. Elections this year and we’re in a big mess, right? The new plot twist to our ever changing political scenario is Fernando Haddad, who happens to be one of the only politicians I actually like, so i’m gonna use this post to talk about his work so y’all can get to know him better since he’s not that famous outside of São Paulo. First of all, for all of you who have no idea what i’m talking about, let me catch you up: Lula (our ex-president) is still, ya know, in jail. For corruption and stuff. We can debate that more thoroughly in another post. Problem is, he wants to run for president again (he wanted before he was arrested already), and technically by some legal standards he might, cause his sentence hasn’t really been contested in every possible court, which is to say that even though his chances of them being overthrown are VERY small, it could still happen and therefore there’s a legal breach there that could allow him to run for president. And bOY is he popular at it - he was leading all the polls around the country these past few months, he was at the lead with nearly 40% of the votes at the last poll (published on the 21st/august). But there has been a debate for months now on whether he’d appoint someone else as a candidate in his place in case the most likely thing happens and he can’t run... And we kinda got the answer a few weeks ago - he didn’t appoint someone else, but he picked his vice president: Haddad, from his own party. Which is to say, in case he is barred from running, Haddad will likely be taking his place. [in the very surprising scenario where Lula DOES run Haddad would not be vice president anymore cause they have a deal with another party and then Manuela D’avila, another ex-candidate for the presidency gets the job cause she’s now supporting Haddad as kinda vice-vice president but that’s a whole other matter). So let’s talk about Fernando Haddad.

Quick background: Haddad is the son of a Lebanese immigrant and graduated in law school (and is a certified lawyer). He's also got a masters degree in economy and a doctorate in philosophy, all at USP, which is like, one of the best universities in Latin america. He’s also a teacher there in Social Sciences and currently a teacher at another private university. In public office, he has been the Minister for Education for 6 years of Lula’s government and Mayor to Brazil’s biggest city, São Paulo, from 2013 to 2016. I’m not saying you need any of those titles to be any good at the job (I mean, just look at Lula I guess) but we sure have to say Haddad came prepared for the fight talking about ground knowledge.

As the Minister for Education Haddad invested mostly in making the access to universities broader - it was his government that created ProUni (a program that provides government scholarships to poor students in private universities), and re-designed FIES (the financing and credit system for poor students to pay for universities) making it easier for people to pay (less interest rates, more time). During his time we also got 14 new public (free) universities and other kinds of educational centers making the number of available spots go from about 140K to 218K. He was also responsible for reformulating ENEM so that it could start to become a sort of brazilian SAT, now accepted as an entrance test to several universities that all had different tests (and you had to take all of them and pay for all of them if you wanted to apply to multiple places). When he started, Brazil invested about 3,9% of our GDP in education. At the end of his run, we were investing 5,1%. The PISA results showed Brazil among the 3 countries that had evolved the most in education during those years (yeah, we were still pretty low on the rank, but we can’t say it wasn’t working). So education is quite his thing, but that’s not all.

As a Mayor, Haddad had a clear vision for the city that involved making it more livable - his slogan said “more human”. The ideia is based on studies that say once the citizens have a sense of personal relationship with the place they inhabit the whole area starts to become safer (and also better taken care of, obviously). And that seems obvious but São Paulo had some MAJOR problems of livability.

Imma list some of my favorite projects. For starters, Haddad changed the lightning of a big part of the city to LED lamps (they’re way brighter so the sense of safety is enhanced cause no dark alleys and stuff AND they’re more efficient so we also started saving energy) [x]. Then he created bike lanes and more bus corridors to make public transport faster and so that people could actually use BIKES in the damn city without too many risks (the number of people who use bikes here grew over 60% in a couple of years, who could have guessed it [x]). He then reduced the speed limits for several streets and speed lanes. That was MASSIVELY impopular, but he said he didn’t care if people hated him as long as it worked in the long run - and, lol, it did. With all of that he reduced accidents and deaths on traffic in the city by 15% overall and by half in specific areas [x] [x], and most interestingly: São Paulo dropped over fifty fucking places on international traffic ranks (which is over 10 times what ANY other brazilian city varied in the ranks those years so there’s no blaming it on any external factors) [x] . Yeah, Haddad started to solve traffic, which is arguably the thing everyone hates the most in this city. People spending less time in traffic start spending more time at leisure - no matter, he closed important avenues on Sundays so that people could use that space, public space, for fun, and anybody who’s been at Paulista on a Sunday nowadays will have seen how damn awesome that place became. He also regulated and stimulated Carnaval as a street party that is now country-famous (do y’all remember how nearly nobody ever considered spending Carnaval in São Paulo a cool thing before 2012? yeah. and people come to the city now just for that and spend a whole lot of money here cause of it [x]). Then he created our very first fucking city tour program with buses and all (man, biggest city in the country and we didn’t have a city tour bus for tourists, what the fuck). He did the first actual Floods Tackling project that involved actually mapping the floods and acting directly on them with more cleaning of the streets and even smart-monitored sewers and trash cans at some places [x]. He created LGBT support centers and was responsible for putting the São Paulo Pride Parade (one of the biggest in the world) on the official government calendars (and as minister for education he was responsible for trying to implement an anti-homophobia program involving educating and orienting teachers to deal with these situations) [x] . He tackled the drug problem (especially the crack-cocaine problem) downtown by offering support (food, housing, medical and psychological assistance, and actual jobs) to addicts - a lot of people were against “giving money to drug addicts”, but again, it worked, and I have a whole post about this here. He created a program to stimulate recycling food at the big open markets and to ensure that organic food was served in the local schools every week. He helped open several tech centers that allowed for people to take tech and coding courses and use 3D printers and other stuff for free or at low prices [x]. Still want more culture? He created public cinemas at poor areas (that showed all kinds of movies, local ones, international ones, all in theaters as good as the paid kind) and created a whole institution to stimulate film making in São Paulo, SPCINE [x] [x]. Oh, and he started a project to take the names of our previous dictators and torturers off the street names (cause yeah we had that) and replace them with, well, decent people [x].

Not enough to have some cool ass projects? K, we can discuss his economy as mayor. Cause not only Haddad was innovative as fuck as said above, he also made the city’s finances as good as ever - and I mean it, cause he renegotiated our historical debts to the federal government and reviewed several contracts to companies AND created an agency to investigate corruption scandals regaining several millions into our vaults [x] [x], in a way that by the end of his government we had over 40 billion less in debt [x], 2-3 billion in store and had our investment rate (you know the thing that Brazil kept being lowered at? by international agencies? those grades and stuff?] raised. Oh yeah, and he got like 95% of what he promised in his campaign done [x].

And I said all of this so I can exemplify why I like Haddad - it’s not about one or two individual projects, it’s about the way he thinks as a whole. He thinks ahead and he thinks based on actual science - without forgetting a human side of it all. All of his unpopular and polemic measures had positive results - they went miles away from common sense, but it didn’t matter for him cause scientific studies had showed it would work (and it did! what a fucking surprise!). Of couse, that made him the most hated mayor by some people cause all he does is just so weird, right? and he never cared, multiple times he mentioned he didn’t mind being unpopular if it was the right thing for the city. And he was in fact unpopular cause of that (and cause of his party, obviously). He left office leaving contracts signed for about 7 years ahead. He didn’t even have high hopes of being reelected by then, but he left stuff ready to work for the next government (likely an opposition one) anyway. Cause that’s what you do if you’re a decent politician, but it’s so damn rare to see this kind of attitude here. Haddad looked at cold hard facts, saw a city that could use a lot of change in several areas, made a plan and went ahead with it knowing that a lot of people would hate him for it but that in the end it could actively change how we live - and he was right. By the end of it, people did have a different relationship with the city.

Haddad showed me in both his public offices that he doesn’t have the small mind of most our politicians that seem to only be able to think about things that can happen every 4 years, nor only about things that will be popular for the sake of being popular without being right. And that’s just what I want from a politician. Seems so simple, and yet it’s nearly impossible to find. So that’s why he’s a politician i’m not afraid to support.

To close this off i’m gonna leave y’all with links to articles from the Wall Street Journal and The New York Times (portuguese here) and The Wire complimenting his time as mayor too so english readers can get some more opinions AND here an Haddad article (in portuguese) that I like if you want to see more of him (especially his views of Brazilian politics), cause this doesn’t even cover all his interesting projects. Here’s also an interview with him in english, and here here and here some in portuguese for people who want to get a better sense of him and his government plan. Feel free to ask more questions about his projects, I’ll try to get to them when I have time.

#brazil #brazilian #haddad #Lula #fernando haddad #eleições 2018 #eleições brasileiras #politics #brazilian politics #luis inacio lula da silva #brasil #br #sp #educação #são paulo

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elletromil · 2 years

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reveal your watch & rewatch drama list

I was tagged by @mejomonster :D Thank you dear!

I'm putting that under a readmore because I watch a lot of shit. Also i put some stuff that i m pretty sure dont qualify as drama but oh well, too late now

just finished watching:

Our Flag Means Death (to the surprise of no one at all if you've been on my blog for the past week/week and a half)(also to the surprise of no one i ABSOLUTELY loved that freaking show (i binged the first 8 episodes the 20th, realised there were two more episode, watched those last thursday night somehow managing to stay unspoiled during the day and then did a drunken binge watch on friday while messaging my friend @honey-bee-britt... yeah, that's how much i loved it))

Season 2 of Witcher (i was on episode 4 since like... january? i don't know anymore what is time, but yeah i wasn't so sure if i was into it or not. It improved a lot when Jaskier finally made his appearance in the show! So i binge watched the last episodes yesterday. All in all not too bad, it was a mostly enjoyable watch, but there are definitely some points where i'm just 'yeah, you do you boo, but imma go see what fandom is doing instead, that's more up to my vibe')

Currently watching/Rewatching

Black Sails (fun fact i started watching black sails on march 19th (or restarted watching black sails, i was on like episode 5 for the past couple of years) than realise where i stream it only had the first season available, cursed a little, saw what promised to be another queer pirate show on the same site, watched that on the 20th, and then remembered my bro got my all the seasons of black sails at one point and i just needed to get my external drive out to continue my binge watch)(I really enjoy Black Sails, but it's definitely "bleaker" than the shows i usually gravitate towards. I know the only reason i got through season 1 is because is know its really about queer pirates (among other things) and i wanted to see how everything went. Also my friend @solrosan told me i would probably be hooked with season 2 and she was right! Currently mid-season 3 and i took a small break during the workweek)

The Chestnut Man (with my two netflix party buddies <3 good show for what it is, even if some characters make very stupid choices, but well, there wouldn't be a show without characters making stupid decisions)

American Gods (kinda of a rewatch too, because i went "hey its been a while since i watched the other seasons", so i started them again but at one point i will get to watching the last season i haven't seen yet)

Killer and Healer (I like the show a lot, but i also have to read the subtitles so its definitely a work in progress because sometime the energy to read just isn't there)

The Sleuth of the Ming Dinasty (same as above)

Love and Redemption (same as above)

The Lost Tomb 2: Explore with The Note (i feel kinda bad about not having finished this one yet, but i just haven't been hooked and i am still on ep like... 3?)

Trese

The Exorcist

Plan to watch

Moon Knight (Look, I have superhero fatigue and Disney fatigue... HOWEVER Oscar Isaac is very pretty and I have watched (what i assume) is far worse shows/movies for actors a lot less pretty than him. I know nothing of Moon Knight except the name, I haven't checked anything about the show (except confirming it was indeed Oscar Isaac in the gifset i spotted on my dash) and i don't want to find out anything until i start watching it when it will all have came out)

Kei x Yaku (saw a few gifset floating around, seems interesting)

Plan to rewatch

Good Omens (i wanted to doing my vacation, but ended rewatching Mystic Nine instead)

Stargate SG1 and Atlantis

Cherry Magic (i mean with the movie coming out soon, it really shouldn't come as a surprise that i plan to rewatch the show too)

The 1990 Moomin series (i did a rewatch about 5 years ago and was absolutely DELIGHTED by how much i still liked it and it lived up to the nostalgia. I still haven't watched the new moomin show tho and should probably do that at one point...)

She-Ra

Voltron

The Mandalorian

Beyond Evil (fuck but that show was goooooood)

Our Flag Means Death (look, i'm lucky that i can watch it legally, imma be giving it as many views as possible)

Not tagging anyone, but feel free to consider yourself tagged if you want to do it!

#me #i know i am forgetting a lot of stuff right now because i don't want to check the multiple streaming shits i'm on #but yeah assume that this is like just the tip of the iceberg

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wildflower8281 · 6 years

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Some of the Crazy Shit in #nunlife

I’m trying to understand why I’m feeling so moved to write (again!) about much of this and share it. I think the answer is 3-fold:

1.) To bring awareness to an institution that is little known and that does a few things well, but a buncha things not so greatly. Incase any friends, parents or girls considering religious life ever read this – I have been and am happy to be available to connect and share more. I’ve been doing this for years offline – just sharing the behind the scenes, so as to remove the idealistic view that this order portrays. People be free to make their own decisions, tho!

2.) For me, there is a release and a letting go that happens when I write and share it out. It’s like the energy of it all is no longer lingering in my body and mind. It’s on the laptop and it’s out in the world. While I’ve had lots of pieces of my transition on my tumblr for years and other #nunlife posts on fb before, for some reason I’m feeling moved to write this way and share now, so here I am!

3.) I think my #conventlife is also like a really good book. You can revisit it at various points in your life and see new things, take in new messages, read the nuances even further. It’s pretty fascinating to me, so I enjoy revisiting, looking at parts from new perspectives, and allowing new lessons and wisdoms to appear for me.

(Below, basketball games and birthday celebrations with some of our very favorite youth and families.)

In my last post, I shared a lot of what life in Spanish Harlem was like, as a missionary sister, living day to day. Pretty basic nun stuff, even if it was new to readers. Here I’m going to follow-up with some events during my 4 years in San Pablo that I have a love/hate relationship with. I love them because I’m pretty sure without them taking place, I may never have left (and leaving has been all things awesome, so!)….and I hate them because they were truly some of the most difficult, exhausting, dark years of my life on all levels. Looking back, I’m pretty confident it was the Universe going: “Here – you are getting the intensive course on burnout…Imma send you a legit crazy (1 definite, a few mas or menos) and make you literally in charge of everything…for 2+ years. Then, you’ll die, want to leave and get on with your life.”

I think like any people-pleaser, like anyone who can’t say no, like anyone who knows not their own voice – my story is no different, with the exception that I was wearing a bright blue habit and a veil. The rules were a little more dramatic – to say no, was saying no to God….and quitting was quite literally scandalous….but still, same structure. I think we all have our own levels of what drives us to our utter exhaustion and burnout. For me, it was a mentally ill sister and replacing another who left, with little support in either situation. This is not a complete piece about why I left – as ultimately the motivation was much more interior - but more a list of external events and circumstances that led to my utter collapse on all levels.

How To Get Girls to Leave Religious Life in 3 Easy Steps:

· Make them Superior. Firstly, being the “superior” of nuns older than you both in religious life and real life just felt uncomfortable. Dealing with the Pastor without having any mission experience was also highly uncomfortable, and it didn’t help that he was the most stoic priest ever and only spoke when necessary. It was annoying and scary at first. (After getting to know him over the years, however, that eased up & I learned he was like a really big-hearted Uncle, who had drank the Stoic Koolaid. It’s cool. I admire him for many things still to this day. He has actually since left the order, but is still a priest!) Being sent to Harlem as superior was like this: “Here, be in charge of all operations in this place you’ve never been to, and be in charge of these people who have been here longer than you.” It was just annoying and stressful!!! That’s what I got for being responsible & docile. Of course, I looked to the sisters who had been there longer for most of my answers in those first years. I knew how to be humble, yo! But still – I really didn’t enjoy being the Superior.. Training was joke – barely a week. It’s “the missionary adventure!” they said. “Trust the Holy Spirit!” they said! “Grace will provide!” they said! #Koolaid, I say, to help the cray go down easier.

· Send them a Crazy. My 2nd year there, the Provincial Superior decided to send me a “troubled” sister. Due to my “calm and peaceful nature” she thought I could handle this sister and would be a good superior for her and that I should really try to bond with her, so that she would trust me & get better, etc. This sister was notorious for her emotional outbursts & instability and for having been shipped from convent to convent, because of the trouble she caused....

Long, long story short-ish – she ended up having Borderline Personality Disorder, which we discovered during her stint in Harlem. (Before I go any further, please know I take mental illness very seriously. If there is any circumstance that made me realize it’s a very serious thing, it would be the one I am describing here. It’s no joke, it’s not her fault, but many versions of BPD do require intense programs to really get anywhere. I learned and read a shit-ton about it all, not to mention lived it on a daily basis in a very intimate way. I am in no way here blaming this sister for her antics, as clearly the #ssvm is to blame for not responsibly providing her the care she clearly needed.) She was officially diagnosed by a psychiatrist and it was recommended by him (note, a doctor who specialized in treating catholic religious….) that she be put into an intensive treatment program – like a 3-4 day a week program. It was also suggested that she go home to Argentina until she was well, or just for good. Well, the order carried out none of the recommendations of the doctors blaming money constraints and also because “the sick are our chalices” – a brainwashy line in our rulebook to make us think it’s virtuous and saintly to care for every member who is sick in any way, and never send them home. Keeping them with us and taking care of them is like making spiritual bank, basically. So, she stayed in our convent for 2+ years, basically causing unrest on a weekly and, often daily basis. Personally, it was emotionally exhausting for me, as I was the person closest to her & obliged always to care for her (the rest of the sisters basically avoided her and walked on egg-shells around her.) If you know anything about this mental illness, you know that it’s the people closest to them that they manipulate, abuse and have a love/hate relationship with. I think I went to more doctors appointments with her in those 2 years, than ever in my life – every specialist of every kind, there was always something. Basically anything to get my attention. Days when she would cry for hours on end, lock herself in the bathroom, bang her head against the wall, threaten suicide, be totally rebellious….and most of these situations, it was just me and her in the convent. Everyone else was out doing their things in the parish, but I was stuck at home, dealing with her. Despite that though, she found a way to piss off, provoke and drive all my sisters crazy. People with this mental illness are very emotionally savvy and know exactly what to say to provoke and push buttons. The sisters fell for it over and over again, until they finally learned & paid her no mind, which is what she could not stand. Same with me. This is how I learned to not engage. It’s been one of the wisest practices of my life & has saved me a lot of bullshit. The provincial superior, no matter how many things I shared with either of them (there were 2 during my 4 years in Harlem,) never did much to actually help me. It took my spiritual director (priest) to ask the provincial superior to remove this sister from our convent, for my sanity. Did I mention that I was sent with her to Argentina to visit a special doctor?! This was the last straw for me. I ended up cutting my part of the trip short, and flew home alone from Buenos Aires to New York, because she was absolutely nuts and if I stayed any longer, I was going to lose my mind. After that trip is when I asked Father to beg to have her removed from my care and from my convent. It was emotional and mental manipulation at its best by her, who was ill, and then to feel that my own superiors and order would not remove this situation from not only me, who also had anywhere from 3-5 other sisters to be present to, but would not remove the situation from our house, where it affected the peace and happiness of our convent community. I am positive it was this situation in particular that really began breaking my circuits. One at a time, the breakers were being flicked off. My brain had less and less mental energy to make decisions. I stopped caring about anything…

· Add Work, Remove Support. My 3rd year there (still with Sister Borderline), one of our mainstay sisters (the bitchy one) had not gotten laid yet, but had to go back to Argentina to help her mother. She ended up staying there for an entire year and no replacement was sent my way for her. I was asked to take over her parish duties, which was basically a full time job. She was the Director of Religious Education of our huge bilingual program – over 400 students, half on Saturday in Spanish, the rest on Sunday in English. It was a huge beast of a job (like in other parishes, is a regular paid FT job) that I was tasked with, with minimal help. The provincial house sent me 1 sister for a few hours a week to help me, but that was it. This job entailed not only weekend classes, but catechist formation classes (teaching adults how to teach and about the faith) and a ton of reception of the Sacraments, like coordinating hundreds of parents, sponsors and students for Baptisms, 1st Communions and Confirmations with the Bishop and all that insanity. I asked for another full time sister – someone who could really take over and was not given any more help than a few hours a week. Plus, I was still the provincial liturgist, having girls visit our convent, and doing all the things I originally had to do in the parish and as a superior. I was relieved of nothing, just tossed a full time job on top. So, at home I was being driven utterly insane (oh, and of course she was jealous that I was at the parish so much more, so of course she would have bouts of emergency illness, random piercing pains, etc, anything to get me to come back home and check her out, give her attention, make an emergency doctor visit, etc.) and at work, I was overloaded, but expected by Father and the parishoners to keep everything status quo. Not to mention the people of the parish obviously had no idea about the stressor of Sister Borderline and Father knew only minimal information and really didn’t care. He needed shit to get done in his parish and he didn’t care about an angry, whiney, emotional nun in the convent who didn’t work in his parish anyway. Nice set up, huh?

I mean – is it no wonder I left, I don’t like responsibility and I don’t like people?

Is it no wonder I can spot the red flags of people’s bullshit a mile away and be like #talktothehand. Peace.

Is it no wonder I aim to keep my lifestyle simple, free and lighthearted?

Is it no wonder I never want my work or job to become my life?

Is it no wonder that I go crazy when I see people who just don’t say no, and let people or organizations bulldoze over them?

Is it no wonder I never want to be in charge of shit, plan events or do someone else’s work?!

(Below, amazing youth at my farewell party...I was sent to the mission in Avondale, PA in July 2011 to be a regular sister and take a breather. This breather allowed me to realize and accept it was time for me to go home. Story for another day! Far right is now a NYPD!)

So, like I said at the beginning, it’s a love/hate relationship with these aforementioned circumstances. They totally sucked and at the same time, taught me so many lessons and infused me with loads of insight that I use daily. This is why the children, youth and families of Harlem are my absolute faves – in order to escape the stress and heaviness and utter out-of-controlness of my life, I would just go and hang with them. Laugh with them, eat and play with them. They helped ground me, allowed me to breathe and just always loved on me. And they still do to this day.

How interesting that my own religious family would not support me in these circumstances, and does not see me (or many of us who have left) as family even today? Yet the people of San Pablo always did and still do. I have real friendships with the people I met in Harlem, literally to this day. And when I go back to NY, I visit them. And yet, with the exception of 1 human, no one from the ive or the ssvm would consider me family today. #whoislivingthegospel? #irony

I’m not throwing shade….well, ok, maybe I am, ha! Sometimes, shade’s gotta be thrown, yo! #truth

#nunlife #formernun #exnun #catholic #catholiclife #lefttheconvent #spanishharlem #mentalillness #balance #family #conventlife #catholicnun #religioussister #nuns

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lulusoblue · 7 years

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Headcanon: Casey Jones being on the Autistic Spectrum

I see plenty of neurodivergent headcanons for the turtles galore, but never for any of the human characters. In all honestly, saying one of the turtles is on the autistic spectrum is iffy and uncomfortable to me at least because it’s sorta implying that said autism would be the result of a mutation caused by an external element. Because it’s not like we’ve had shit over some dickhead portraying autism as a side effect of vaccination rather than it being a mental disorder that’s as embedded in our genes and beings as internal organs and a massive part of who we are as people. also fuck you wakefield

And so thinking about it more, it just clicked that Casey could fit an autistic headcanon. So here’s a list of things about his character I believe fit such a headcanon based on personal experience and from other autistic people I’ve known:

• Apparently the writers put him at around 17 years old, a year older than April, with some intent that he might have been held back during his education (probably to tie into him seeking April for tutoring). I don’t have any knowledge of American education beyond secondhand information I may see on the internet or pop up on my dash, so my only knowledge of being autistic in a learning system built around neurotypical students is from brief personal experience. Neurotypical education sucks when there isn’t enough awareness of learning difficulties or the teachers don’t have enough training to know how to handle it. Casey might have trouble with his education because he may have difficulties trying to pay attention and absorb information without the tools or support to help him focus. This can get you labelled as just bad behaviour or being dumb/stupid. I sure as hell wasn’t able to follow lessons in school until I finally had someone who listened to why I didn’t like lessons and found them hard to understand. We don’t have any clue as to when Casey was held back if this concept still applies in canon, but being held back might not mean he just didn’t care to study or doesn’t have the smarts to pass. Granted it gets harder to care about learning when you have trouble understanding and your educators don’t bother to help you so much as call you lazy. Which brings me to my next point.

• Casey’s interests and knowledge in gadgets, vehicles, and metalwork. The boy knows his stuff when it comes to Mad Max-looking makeshift weaponry and devices, which is clear from his decked out bike and the crude taser that he’s managed to strap to his arm without frying himself. He worked with Donnie to rig up a supercar as a hobby and helped pimp up the Party Wagon. And he’s still flunking trig. (so’s April but shhhhh that was just a Season 1 thing) Casey seems like a very visual learner in this case: he picks up on things through observation and is self-taught on what interests him. For all we know he figured out cars while being cooped up on a farm with nothing better to do while one of his terrapin friends was in a coma. I’ve ended up doing that with some programs I use or with life stuff in general. Manuals are boring and slow and easy to lose focus on. Maybe look up a couple of video tutorials for something but most of building skills and interests is self-teaching and trial-and-error. (my experience of video editing and art programs is “what’s this do and can i figure out what makes it tick without looking it up”, which is an approach to new interests I think also fits Casey). Likely not something specific or common in autistic people, but figuring things out in such a way has been a thing that popped up for me and a couple of old friends. What I’m saying is Casey made that new mask after half-watching a couple of cosplay tutorials and winging it with some scrap.

• Casey wears those gloves and that headband all the damn time. Even when he’s eating pizza, he’s eating it wearing gloves that have probably been worn working on his bike, wielding a hockey stick/baseball bat that’s likely bashed sweaty heads in rain two weeks ago without being washed, and just the day-to-day things that would get those gloves sweaty or grimey or icky. He wears that headband at all times, even when he’s wearing a mask thank would probably fit better if he took that band of material off of his head. What do his headband and gloves also have in common? They’re articles of clothing that usually have elastic to stay in place. Sure canonically they’re just there to fit his grungy look (get to that hoodie in a second), but digging myself deeper into this headcanon i got to thinking they might also serve sensory/stimming purposes. If there’s something that I think is one thing autistic people have in common or a feeling they share, it’s fiddling/fidgeting and certain sensory things to some level: e.g. I usually wear loose tops because i like fiddling with the hems and corners of my clothing. Some people wear tight or loose clothing based on how they process the sensation of skin against different type of clothing. Casey never taking off his damn gloves or headband could be seen as him liking the sensation of the elastic in them around his wrists and forehead. He probably pings the elastic as well because that’s fun too when you’re bored and need to fiddle.

I refuse to believe that he has never washed that hoodie. I mean yeah the turtles have smelt worse living in a sewer but Casey is a Human who has spent most of his life around Humans and his Human father would probably have burnt his clothes by now if Casey never washed the stink out of them. That and Casey is a hockey player, and I imagine stinking clothes is an annoyance that comes from most sports. Those paint stains on his hoodie I think he’s leaving there on purpose, like he’ll wash his clothes but no dad his clothes get washed separate because he can’t wash his clothes with your clothes because you use stuff that lifts stains and that’ll get rid of the paint splats that he likes on his clothes and why does he want paint splats because he does and they look nice and he probably won’t get the same splatter pattern again if he tried and shush dad this hoodie stays the same because it has to because shut up. We don’t really see Casey tagging anything regularly so unless it’s because they don’t change the texture on animated models because what’s the point it’s not a cgi blockbuster we’re making here Casey probably keeps his paint splattered hoodie like that because it looks nice and it’ll stay nice dad. It’s a Thing.

• Casey constantly refers to a love of heavy metal music. Too much sound for an autistic person can end up in sensory overload and that fucking sucks. And in general just the world around you can suck and you wanna shut it out because ugh. You know what helps? Headphones and really loud music. What genre has really loud music? Yup.

Casey having a social battery. He just pops in and out of the show all the time because the writers dunno what do with him shrug so yeah. Autism likes to play up the variance of a person’s social needs and wants and limits. You want to be friends but you just can’t be asked to be with people right now. You get this surge of wanting to hang out with friends and be loud for a bit, and then you have this mood where you just want to not exist or just not do things. Basically like this:

“raph great to see you i love your face” “whatever weirdo”

[dude where are you] [home] [you’ve been at home for three days] [i’m waiting until i stop hating faces to talk in person again]

If anyone has any other things to add to this headcanon, please do share/add onto this post. Now if you’ll excuse me i’m gonna dig myself further into this headcanon.

EDIT: I forgot another point I wanted to put in and also @a-specforest added some cool addon tags so broski if you don’t mind imma put them here too

• #okay so one symptom of autism is speaking in ’pre learned phrases’ #and casey has a ton of catchphrases • #sometimes speaking in a tone that doesn’t match the conversation? #casey does that a lot too • #he seems to have a few hyperfixations #in season 2 he’s practicing hockey late by himself #and the working on cars that you mentioned

1) how else would he come up with Goongala of COURSE!!! That and pre-learned phrases are great to have when spontaneous speech is a bitch and you trip over words and stammer. not that i would know anything about that nooo We’ve already heard him muddle up words in the moment (I think he said jumbled up “racism” later in S4)

2) Tone control is something I’ve dealt with, too. Apparently I have resting bitch voice so I’ll say something and get asked if i’m in a bad mood or snapped at for “being rude”. Also knew other autistic people who would have ranges of tones in certain convos too, e.g. one always sounded happy and chipper and laughed a lot even when something wasn’t particularly funny, one person’s tone of voice went everywhere it was hard to tell what their feelings were even with the context of conversation. Casey’s attitude and tone in conversation, even serious ones, might be an indication of that, I agree.

3) Oh yeah, he definitely fits hyperfixation. There’s his hobbies, and also there’s how he sees his future. When he and April are in the park for their first study session, he’s got two clear ideas for what to do with his life; Hockey Star or Bounty Hunter. With him immediately trying to play hero when confronted with a walking talking tank of organs his bounty hunter fantasy may have something to do with it. He’s reckless and headstrong, but it also lends to his fixation on one of his dream careers; if fighting a monster that he’s confronted with something he sees as a step to bounty hunting, he’ll likely put up his dukes and get melted because ACID HANDS I have definitely known people who were determined on doing something because it was what they wanted. It might’ve come across as stubbornness or rigidness depending on what it (even something as simple as just doing something like a chore a certain way), but in context of ambitions and their future they were pumped as hell to take the steps they needed to take to do what they liked and what they wanted for themselves. They didn’t care about what people thought of them even if they didn’t pass as neurotypical and would get stares on the street. Not sure how they would react if say culinary career path involved fighting mutated food, but considering the show itself is an action-adventure cartoon with mutant turtles I think we can give Casey a pass on that lack of realism there. we begrudgingly give the writers passes all the time so why stop now

Aaaand the point i forgot to put in my original post:

• Casey’s less-than appropo reactions or attitudes in situations possibly links to difficulty reading people, being empathetic or understanding social cues/priorities. Reading and understanding facial expressions and body language can be a bitch if you’re autistic. There’s even a learning software program a couple of students from my school would use in one-to-one sessions that specifically addresses this for those who find it THAT hard to tell what another person is expressing. It’s especially troublesome because empathy can be a confusing thing too, because it can go from you not really having any empathy to you having so much that you think you’re hurting the feelings of a pair of shoes because you chose to wear something else that day which totally isn’t the extreme i experience at all hahaha help i’m mentally apologising to a boot Casey doesn’t appear to take things seriously in dangerous circumstances the majority of the time, nor does he appear considerate of others at other times. It’s a lot of confidence and certainty that things will turn out OK (with a heaping spoonful of “self preservation instinct what self preservation instinct”). It’s not always an appropriate attitude to make jokes and quips and tease and make jabs at people, but he HAS taken things seriously and shown worry/sadness at appropriate times. He’s really quiet and almost numb when the subject of his family’s fate comes up in Invasion, and he was surprisingly the only one to be most affected after watching someone get mOLECULARLY RIPPED APART. From experience, both personal and through observation, figuring out how to react and respond to things when you don’t really know how to is a pain in the ass and often distressing because you feel bad for not knowing. Sometimes you resort to humour to lighten things and try to ease tensions, sometimes you have an internal screaming match with yourself and panic and go through an archive of potential reactions because what the fuck would apply here, or sometimes you just shut down or just don’t react like it’s not really a big deal or even happening. Or you end up going through verbal barfing and dig yourself deeper into a hole of instant regret because you’re making yourself look like an ass when you don’t want to why is this so hARD. I think Casey would fall into the “address things with confidence and cockiness” kind of reaction pool, because it’s an attitude he’s comfortable with and how he better deals and processes things. It’s not to say he doesn’t have some empathy or disregard for other people’s feelings (hello Buried Secrets), it could be that it’s not comfortable territory for him even when he wants to be serious/emotionally supportive. did any of that come out right fffffffffU

• Casey’s small social circle and it possibly being by choice. His best friends are the girl who he met through tutoring in a subject she was failing before and four giant turtles who are trained in ninjutsu. He only mentions having one friend before, a friend with whom he had a falling out, and he didn’t seem to like Irma all that much (you can say it’s because “she’s a third wheel on dates” but even outside of that he didn’t seem to get along with her much). With things like hyperfixation and the like making a vast group of friends is tricky. Being autistic might mean the friends you choose to make have lots of interest in common with you rather than just being someone you get along with. Not to say being autistic means you are limited to a few friends. I’m no expert on autistic social lives, I can only draw from firsthand experience. I found trying to maintain a number of friendships difficult and often overwhelming so at some point in school I stopped trying to make friends, with the exception of a couple of people I liked and had common interests with. I chose to keep my social circle small because the thought of making lots of friends and keeping in touch with them all and remembering who likes who and what overwhelmed me and made me nervous as a child. Still kinda leaks into adulthood because I don't have many friends outside of the company I keep on tumblr. In this autistic headcanon, Casey’s very small social circle could be by choice. He doesn’t mention having any other friends besides one previously, fixates on April (and yes I am knocking the romantic aspect out the window for this) after approaching her for tutoring because he found her cool and likes hanging out with her (and probably saw kicking a mutant’s ass as common ground/bonding too), hung out with her even when a person he wasn’t keen on (Irma) was also there, and even when he’s introduced to the turtles and befriends them he still appears to be platonically closest to April arguably, depends on how the writers want to write him that week. Considering how the love triangle bullhockey has been given little to no reference as of late, his concern for April in Tokka vs the World and his annoyance at Leo’s teamup picks in Tale of Tiger Claw might be more because he can’t be with his favourite person. (and yes that can be a Thing too) He might also fixate on having April’s company because she isn’t much of a social butterfly herself outside of the friendly neighbourhood mutants living in the sewer. Compare how many times we see him hanging out with the turtles minus April versus when April is present.

#tmnt 2012 #casey jones (2012)#autistic casey headcanon #yes good #bonus his sister is also autistic #their interactions are just 'ugh' 'what' 'people' 'same'

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