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#so idk why i thought it could be contained to like 7k haha
imagineitdearies · 2 months
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It's a Saturday night and you can bet I'm working on chapter 24 folks. In fact, I just need to do one more read-through and respond to comments, then it will be posted!
And then.....since it's been a long week and this became simply too long of a chapter post-edits (like 9k guys 🫠).....I'm splitting it in half and double-posting 😅😅
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thespace-dragon · 7 years
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Allllriiiiiggghhttt, knocked out the first prize for my fic give away!!! WHooo!! And of course I go overboard, because I have no freaking self-control, so here’s another 7k oneshot of fluff it was supposed to be 5k, dedicated to my dear friend and first prize winner @bluethisisforyou who wrote the amazing actor!au for klance called And, Action! Like seriously, if you haven’t read it, you need to, because damn is it amazing.
Loosely based off of these pieces of artwork by @cata-strophes : [1] [2] Seriously, they’re gorgeous and you should totally reblog those too!!
Summary: Lance didn't know what he was looking for, and he wasn't really searching either. But then Keith had to come and remind him. And boy, did he.
Word Count: 7290 (leave me alone idk what happened)
AO3
Lance stretched and took a deep breath. Fuck, it was nice to be out of the castle for like the first time in months. He hadn't even waited for the others to head out when they touched down. He'd been stir crazy for the past week and he was so done with being on that ship.
The planet they landed on was amazing. The sky was a clear crystalline blue, and the ground was a slate gray, typically boring but it was the flora and fauna that made up for the colors. It was a menagerie of color and everything practically glowed. Flowers stood as tall as him, basking in the sunlight and spilling more light off of their petals; trees stood even taller, their limbs stretching high above, laden with fruits and vines. The grass was light green and it had a mossy texture under Lance’s feet.
Slowly the rest of the team followed up out. Lance stood out in the middle of the area they landed in, face turned up to the sky, enjoying the feeling of sunlight on his skin.
“Woah, this place is… wow,” Hunk breathed.
It was wow. Everything was so lush and green, it reminded Lance of the rain forests back home.
He spun around and beamed. “Isn’t it? I can’t wait to go exploring! Like, do you guys see this? The plants are practically glowing, and – and the sky! It’s just like Earth’s!” He ran around gesturing at the plants and pointing to the sky.
Shiro watched with a bemused smile, and Pidge was grumbling something about it just being bioluminescence. Hunk smiled enthusiastically back at him, walking closer to examine the plants. Lance saw Keith cross his arms and look around. Allura and Coran were standing behind the group, watching them all react to the planet they landed on. The princess was smiling, albeit sadly. Coran placed a hand on her shoulder, reassuring her.
Lance remembered Allura and Coran telling them about the planet they were on. It was had no signals of intelligent life currently, even though there had been before Zarkon attacked. But this had been a vacation spot for Allura and her father long before the lions existed.
Lance couldn’t keep the smile off of his face, it felt too good to be off the ship. Hunk waved Pidge over, asking her to check out the flowers he was looking at. Each time he touched their petals, they glowed brighter. It was like the whole planet couldn’t contain itself and lit itself from within.
“I’m gonna go explore guys, who's joining me?" Lance turned to Hunk, his go-to partner, to see him smiling sheepishly and scratching the back of his head.
“Sorry, man, but after fighting off all the Galra, I just wanna sit still for a while.” Everyone had bags under their eyes from the constant amount of stress, yet the exhaustion that they should all be feeling was lost on Lance.
Lance laughed, “Don’t worry, bro, I get you. Anyone else?”
Pidge ignored him, completely absorbed in how the plants worked, the gears turning in her head as she mulled over why all of the plants emitted their own light.
When no one said anything, Lance shrugged. “Alrighty then, guess I’ll go by myself then.” He turned to go. Exploring by himself was going to be fun either way.
“Wait, Lance. You should take someone with you, we don’t know what’s out there,” Shiro reasoned. He looked ready to take a nap and Lance knew that Shiro needed rest more than any of them.
Lance pouted. “Well, no one seems to wanna go-”
“I’ll go.”
Lance gaped at him. Since when was Keith willing to spend time with him? It wasn’t like they spent time together on the ship outside of training and battles. Sure, they formed Voltron plenty of times by now, and they were a pretty tight knit group, but yeah, Keith never went out of his way to spend time with Lance.
Plus, there was the whole rivalry thing they had going. What was this going to do to that dynamic?
“Okay, so Keith will go with you.”
Both boys looked at each other and back to Shiro. Lance was shocked. Didn’t Shiro see the way he and Keith almost never got along? Like ever? He glanced at Keith and he just looked uninterested, almost bored. What the fuck?
“Haha, Shiro, Keith doesn’t have to come with me, I’ll be fine on my own,” Lance argued. He could already see how well that was going to go. Him and Keith crawling through the forest that surrounded them, most likely getting nowhere since they would be arguing about which way to go too much to actually go anywhere.
“Lance, you really should-”
Keith shrugged and stepped up next to Lance. “Don’t worry about it, Shiro. I’ll go.”
Shiro and Keith shared a look. Lance narrowed his eyes and looked between the two. What were they trying to tell each other? Shiro almost looked somewhere between proud and worried. Worried should have been the first thing Shiro should have felt because Lance was certain that this was going to be a disaster.
After a few moments and a slight shake of his head, Keith turned to Lance and gestured to the forest. “Which way are we going?”
Lance blinked, mind blanking for just a moment before he turned on a whim and walked a random direction. "This way seems the most interesting."
He could practically hear Keith roll his eyes, but the footsteps following him gave Lance the green light to keep forging ahead. They walked into the forest, disappearing in a flash of light as they brushed past glowing ferns and bushes.
The forest was dense, almost no light penetrating through the thick canopy of leaves high above their heads. The trees sucked up all the sunlight they could and the vines drooped from tree limbs, winding their way to the ground in some fashion. They created a network of veins that transferred the light gathered from the trees all the way down to the ground, were more plants gathered around the bases of each tree, clamoring for what light they could get to.
“Woah,” Lance breathed, stopping and staring at everything. He almost couldn’t take it all in.
Keith peeked over his shoulder and huffed, “It’s like that Avatar movie.”
“What movie?” Lance side eyed him and started to move farther into the forest.
“You know, that one movie with the giant blue aliens?”
Lance waved him off. “That movie is like crazy old, what are you doing watching it?”
Keith made an indignant noise. “It was a good movie!”
First the cryptids and conspiracy theories, now this. What other weird things was he going to bring up?
“Yeah, and no one remembered it.” Lance stepped over a fallen sapling. It was covered in more glowing plants, and as he brushed by them, they lit up.
Keith scrambled after him. “But you remembered it.”
He stopped and turned, crossing his arms. “Give me one detailed scene.”
Keith stumbled to a stop opened his mouth before shutting it again. Lance smirked triumphantly and Keith simply scowled at him. He shoved past Lance, ignoring the way Lance kept smirking at him. Lance wasn’t going to let that go now, he was going to be hearing about it for the next week if he was lucky.
The farther they went into the forest, the more colorful it became. Lights were everywhere, pulsing soothingly, blinking in and out, or flashing in patterns. It was so much to take in, Lance felt like he had to force himself to watch where Keith was going or else he was going to trip over something. The biggest surprise he found was that there were no animals. He could only hear the wind rustling the leaves high above him and their soft footfalls. Nothing was dry, the ground wasn’t littered with leaves like the forests back on Earth. It was covered in the moss-like grass that covered nearly everything else.
Both boys walked in silence after that. Keith leading the way and Lance staring open-mouthed at everything. The air was humid, and the longer they walked in some aimless direction, the more their clothes began to stick to them. Lance could feel sweat run down the back of his neck. His collar was sticky and he yanked it away from him every once and while to let some fresher air in. Keith wasn't fairing much better, pulling at his shirt repeatedly. The back of it and it clung to him, showing Lance exactly how each muscle moved and how strong Keith looked.
Fucking-
Lance looked away, he could feel the blush creeping up on his cheeks and he was glad he was behind Keith. Now was not the time to start thinking about his rivalry-crush situation.
The trees were starting to thin out, and the glow from all the plants was less visible. Lance was still off in his own little world, wrestling the emotions he thought he beat down a long time ago. He couldn't pursue anything with Keith. They were teammates and teammates who often did mind-melding exercises. Lance shuddered. Just the thought of Keith finding out about his little (read: gigantic) crush on him would be the end of him. Goodbye, Lance, it was nice knowing you.
He stumbled and collided into Keith’s back. His nose smarted.
“Dude, what the hell?” he asked, rubbing his nose.
He peered around Keith’s shoulder and the sight…
Both of them stared in awe, mouths open as they peered out of the forest.
They stood on top of a cliff, and it was open to mountains, and valleys that flowed with water. All the ground was carpeted in green, and the water sparkled in the sunlight. It was straight out of a storybook – or movie in Keith's case. The world was overflowing with plant-life, each and every single leaf glowing, and Lance couldn't believe that there was a place this beautiful in the universe.
A waterfall roared to their left, pouring over the side of the cliff, the mist floating in the air. It sparkled and glittered and the water was a bright blue, reflecting the same color as the sky. If they were actually in a movie, the background music would be really epic right now.
Lance stepped around Keith and just stared. Neither of them could find words for what this place looked like.
“Hey… do you think James Cameron knew about this place when he made that movie?” Keith whispered
“Keith! What the hell man, moment ruined!” Lance scoffed and started walking along the edge, towards the water. Maybe there was a stream somewhere. He needed a drink.
“It’s a serious question! This place is like straight out of the movie!”
Keith followed along behind him, bouncing questions off of Lance and Lance rebuffing them. It’s not like he’s seen the movie a dozen times like Keith had. He was more into the old Disney and Dreamworks classics than the sci-fi films he caught Keith and Pidge watching on occasion. Like How to Train Your Dragon and Moana were great movies, there was no telling Lance otherwise.
They walked to the edge of the waterfall, the water rushing past them and dropping off the edge. Even this close, when the water would have been white and foamy on earth, it was still that clear blue. The gleam that Lance could see in the river thousands of feet below them wasn’t as prominent with the water moving this fast, but it was still there. It was strange to see water that held its color versus water simply reflected its surroundings.
“Do you think that there’s cave system in there?” Lance called out over the water.
“Why would you want to go in there?” Keith looked mildly concerned that Lance wanted to go further. The sun hadn’t come close to the horizon yet, so they still had time to kill.
“C’mon, pretty boy, let’s go spelunking.” Lance grinned and immediately turned towards the waterfall.
God fucking dammit, he just called Keith “pretty boy”. Pretty boy. Pretty boy. Who was he? Some high schooler with a crush on the football captain? Okay… in this situation, yeah he basically was. Way to go, Lance, he probably thinks you’re a creep now.
When Lance reached the waterfall, there was a small ledge that ran along the side. It led upstream of the roaring water and the water got brighter and brighter the deeper Lance looked into the cave. He glanced over his shoulder to see that Keith was right behind him, a weird look on his face, but it wasn’t anything new. Lance said some weird shit all the time and the look on Keith’s face just said he chalked it up to that.
He started to edge along the outcropping, keeping his back to the face of the cliff and the wall of the cave by extension. It was slow going, and the cave quickly blocked out all of the sunlight that was pouring into the valley, same as the waterfall. But with the luminescent water flowing mere feet away underneath of them, it wasn’t hard to see at all. The cave wall actually glittered back, moss clinging to the walls. Together, he and Keith left a slowly fading trail of light as they worked their way farther into the cave.
By now, they were gradually finding themselves heading deeper underground. Literally, the path they were on was degrading and soon enough Lance could no longer see the entrance of the cave. The majority of the water had turned away from them, but there was a stream that the ledge followed.
“Lance, do you have any idea where we are going?” Keith hissed from behind him.
Lance looked at him, and if it weren't for the deep-seated curiosity he was following right now, he would have stopped. Keith looked honestly scared, but something was pulled Lance deeper. It… he couldn't quite put his finger on it, but whatever was pulling him farther into the cave, felt a lot like the same pull his lion had on him. He couldn't just not keep going, he had to find out what it was.
"No, not really, but that's the whole point of exploring Keith," he reassured. "Besides, all we gotta do when we’re done here is follow our lions.”
Keith didn’t look convinced but he nodded and waved Lance to keep going.
Minutes passed, and then an hour, and they were still walking along the path. The water was their own source of light. Everything was coated in a soft blue glow, almost the same shade as the blue crystals the Alteans used to power their systems. The force that was guiding Lance was a lot stronger now than it was the last time Keith had spoken up, and the fact that they hadn’t come across anything was making him worried. Worried that whatever was down here was something they couldn’t get away from. But at the same time, he couldn’t stop. He had to keep going.
They kept walking. Lance was getting antsy now. They hadn't found anything, but he didn't want to give Keith the satisfaction of going back on his word. He was going to find what was down here.
The tunnel opened up and boys found them faced with a pool of glowing water. Moss clung to the wall, glittering like jewels. There were even some crystals or gems embedded in the ceiling, imitating a starry sky above them.
“This is…” Keith trailed off.
“Beautiful,” Lance finished, but he wasn’t looking at the cave.
Keith nodded, eyes wide and staring at everything. The light from the water lit him from underneath, reverse highlighting the planes of his face. In this light, his eyes were imperceptibly dark, almost black. They shined with wonder and Lance had to quell the urge to grab onto his hand. Worst case he wanted to kiss him and make it so he was the reason why those eyes were filled with wonder.
Dammit, Lance, get a hold of yourself. He was your teammate; you can’t do that.
Lance tore his eyes way from Keith and started to edge closer to the water. The air down here was wet, but not like the air outside where it was heavy and thick. Here was refreshing and clear, almost cool.
He walked to the edge and knelt, dipping his hand into the water. It was surprisingly warm and it lit up around him. When he pulled his hand out, the water continued to glow brighter before swirling and dissipating.
“So, this whole planet glows, even the water. What’s next, a purple sun?”
“Purple suns don’t exist,” Keith deadpanned.
Lance stood up and turned to him. “Uh huh, just like water isn’t supposed to glow.”
Keith rolled his eyes and started making his way back to the entrance of the cave. “C’mon, we found out what was down here, we should probably head back.”
"You're just scared of the dark," Lance huffed but followed anyways.
The trek out of the cave and back to the castle was decidedly shorter than how long it took them to get to the cave in the first place. Everyone was gathered around a campfire, Hunk barbecuing some of the fleshier plants for dinner.
“How was exploring?” Shiro asked when both of them found seats around the fire.
They shared a look and shrugged. Lance didn’t want to share the cave, it felt like it was their place, their discovery. Something private between him and Keith. And Keith seemed to think the same thing, keep his expression neutral as he talked about the forest. Not once mentioning the cave or waterfall.
“Hey, Allura. What exactly is this place?” Lance asked. “Everything is all glowy and there isn’t anything but plants here. What’s the deal?”
Allura looked up at the sky, the beginnings of the sunset showing in its strange green to purple gradient. “There used to be life here, but the people never built anything.”
The team looked at her, not really comprehending how a civilization could exist without leaving anything behind.
“What do you mean, Princess?”
She turned her gaze to Shiro, a fond smile on her face. “The Iv’An was a race of people who lived off the forest, never taking more than they needed. And in return, the forest gave them what they needed. It was a symbiotic relationship of sorts. The Iv’An kept the forest from over growing and the forest allowed them to live then the trees, growing specifically for them as shelter.”
“So where did they all go?” Pidge asked, a flower in her hands. It was dimly lit, not near as brilliant as it used to be when it was still in the ground. “There aren’t any signs of the Galra here, but all the Iv’An are gone.”
“Well, we can safely assume that the Galra must have come here to conquer and were run off by the forest,” Coran provided. “The Iv’An were a peaceful race, and must not have stood a chance against an army such as Zarkon’s.”
“So they were wiped out?”
Coran nodded. “Our records are ten thousand years old, but their absence must mean exactly that. Normally they would have greeted us by now if they were here.”
Pidge went back to play with the flower, rolling the stem between her fingers and twirling it. The rest of the team was silent, mourning the loss of a race they would never have the chance to meet.
The quiet didn’t last long, Hunk’s food finishing and they all enjoyed conversation about everyone’s day. Complimenting Hunk’s cooking, and pestering Pidge with questions about what she learned from the plant life. Lance and Keith kept quiet about their day, the silent agreement that the cave was something to be cherished between them. Even if nothing happened besides the discovery of the glowing pool, Lance still couldn’t shake the feeling that he was supposed to go back there. With Keith. He couldn’t understand it. It was if the pool forced his feelings to the surface, that the reason why it existed was sacred and wanted him to speak up.
But he couldn’t.
He was scared of upsetting the team dynamic, that if he did ever confess to Keith that he would just be rejected. And yeah, it would hurt, but it would force him to move on. That was something he could do. Move on. Even if he would be on the same team with Keith for the rest of his life till this war was over, he could deal with that. Then go back to earth and keep living his life.
Still, he was tempted to through his concerns to the wind and go for it.
He was sitting by the fire, and the pull of the cave was there. And if Lance really dug into it, he could feel Blue pushing him to go there, encouraging him to take Keith with him. Was it really that important for both of them to go?
Soon enough, the food was gone, and the stars were out. The fire still burned, coating them in a warm glow. Lance looked around the fire, noting how everyone looked relaxed and content for the first time they started this journey together. It had been one thing after another when they found the blue lion and jumped through the wormhole. His eyes fell on Keith and his heart nearly stopped.
It wasn’t fair that Keith could look good in any lighting. The damn pool made him look blue and ethereal. Now sitting here in the orange light of the fire, he looked like a blasted angel. Lance could feel himself falling deeper down the rabbit hole known as his crush on Keith. And it wasn’t fair. Keith was amazing at everything and he was just Lance. How could he compete with that? How could he even think he had a chance?
Despite the otherworldly force trying to drag him back to the cave, Lance turned in with everyone else, heading to bed. The feeling in his chest wouldn’t go away and he just hoped that he could work it out by the next morning. They all went to bed, the doors to their rooms swishing closed.
Lance fell face first into his bed and groaned. He really needed to get his feelings in order, but they were so intense, so in his face, that there was no ignoring them. He couldn’t just let it go, and really that’s all he wanted. He just wanted to forget about his feelings for Keith and have everything go back to normal. But nothing about this was normal. He was fighting giant purple aliens for fuck’s sake. How is that in any way considered normal?
Lance sighed and turned over to stare at his ceiling. Maybe he should just be honest. Get his feelings out there and in the open. And make Keith decide. If anything, he could just go back to being frenemies with Keith and all will be good between them. But if Keith accepted him… what then?
“Why the fuck does this have to be so hard?”
He flipped over onto his side, facing the wall, trying to force himself to sleep.
But he was too high strung to even try to sleep. His mind kept going back to the cave, Keith staring around them in awe, Keith glowing in the firelight.
Fuck, he really had it bad.
Sleep wasn’t going to come anytime soon. Not with this inner turmoil.
Lance got out of bed and grabbed his swim trunks. He was going to figure out what was up with that pool. He slipped on a t-shirt and his sneakers.
He poked his head out of his room and just caught the signs of Keith ducking around the corner. Not wasting a moment, he ran to catch up.
"Keith! Where are you going?" he hissed as he caught up, grabbing the other boy's shoulder and pulling him to a stop.
Keith looked slightly dazed but snapped his focus to Lance. "You feel it too right? The energy?"
So Lance hadn’t been the only one feeling that.
“Yeah, were you going to check it out too?”
Keith nodded and started walking again. This was a little weird, but he couldn’t sleep. He might as well do something productive. Even if it was with Keith.
They exited the castle and immediately made their way into the forest. Everything was alight, glowing. It was like they were on the Las Vegas strip, lights everywhere. The sky was filled with the light reflecting off the nearby planet, coating everything in a purple haze. Again, Lance was struck by how good Keith looked in any lighting.
The other boy was leading the way, forging ahead in the forest. They left a blazing trail, all the plants they brushed past lighting up and slowly fading away. Lance felt like he was just floating through a dream, none of this was real, and he was just along for the ride. Vines glowed a bright green, ferns were highlighted with soft purples and pinks. The moss glittered a light blue. Every flower they passed was a different color, ranging from reds to purples to blues and to yellows. It was beautiful. And the way the colors splashed all over Keith took Lance’s breath away.
They found the cliff and turned to the raging waterfall, no longer hesitating to take in the sights of the valley below like before, but Lance still cast a glance over the side. It was lit from the river below, making him think that they entered some other dimensions. Lights were everywhere, blinking and flickering. It was entrancing.
The water blocked out everything and they were in the cave. Keith was plowing ahead, Lance close on his heels. The pull was magnetic, and they couldn’t resist it. Caution was thrown to the wind, their footsteps hurried. With as fast as they were going, it was a wonder that they hadn’t slipped yet.
Minutes later they were confronting the pool again. The blue light filled the whole cavern and Lance was struck by its beauty. He kept thinking that this was something out of a story, a movie, something that wasn’t reality. But they were lightyears away from home, lost in the middle of the universe, staring at something that was obviously real before them. Being this far away from home and on a planet that literally glowed with life, anything was possible.
Lance wasted no time shucking off his shoes and tearing his shirt off. He was down to his swim trunks and dove right in with a graceful dive.
That water was warm, and when he surfaced, everything was glowing. There was a three-foot ring around him where the water was shades brighter than the rest. There was no bottom and he was treading water. The energy that he had been feeling all night was gone, the water soaking it up.
He turned back to the ledge. Keith was just staring at him, stars in his eyes. His mouth had dropped open and it looked like he had just seen Lance for the first time.
Lance smiled and waved him in. “Dude, jump in!”
Keith shook himself out of his stupor and undressed himself to his trunks and slid in, not nearly as enthusiastic as Lance had been. Keith kept his head about water as he swam over to where Lance was in the middle. The water was just as bright around him as it was around Lance.
For the umpteenth time that night, Lance realized he was so head over heels for this boy.
Keith looked around. “The feeling’s gone…”
He was right. Lance glanced up at the high ceiling of the cavern, anything to look away from Keith. “Yeah, it’s weird, I almost feel-”
“Empty.”
“Yeah, that.”
They treaded water for a few moments. More emotions were being pulled to the surface. And it wasn't even as if Keith had done anything to show off, but Lance just felt…inferior.
He swam away from Keith, just putting some distance between them. He flipped to float along on his back, staring at the gems and moss kaleidoscope above them. The feelings were roiling within him, and the longer he tried to suppress them the more overbearing they became.
Eventually, he spoke. "Do you think we are all going to make it?"
He heard Keith turn quickly in the water, creating small waves that lapped at Lance’s sides. “What do you mean?”
"I don't know, but it's been bugging me for a while." He kept his gaze away from Keith. "Like, do you ever get the feeling that you weren't cut out for this? That – that maybe you were in the wrong place at the wrong time?"
Keith was silent, but Lance could feel his eyes on him, but he refused to look at him. He knew that Keith was going to look down on him with pity.
“I… yeah, sometimes.”
Keith’s voice was so quiet that Lance almost missed it. He sat up in the water, tilting his head to keep water from getting trapped in his ears.
“You, Keith Kogane, don’t think you belong here?”
Keith shrugged, not looking at Lance. “Never really felt like I belonged anywhere. Just been…I’ve been letting fate decide where I go for me.”
“Y’know that’s like the opposite what the Red Lion chose you for, right?”
Keith shot him a sharp glare, but it didn’t last long. His dark eyes turned up to the ceiling. “I know, but I trust my instincts. If it feels right, I go for it.”
Lance hummed. Either way, Keith was following his instincts, it just wasn’t as fiery as Lance originally thought. Keith had that same look on his face he had when they were all in his shack. It screamed ‘lost’ and Lance felt that right down to his soul.
“If it makes you feel better, you’re not the only one.”
Keith stayed quiet and Lance felt the need to fill the silence.
“Like, I’m just a cargo pilot if we think about it. I’m only here because you dropped out and Shiro crash landed on earth. Iverson was like one day away from demoting me back to cargo class after that last simulation.”
“You’re more than just a ‘cargo pilot’, Lance. Blue didn’t choose you just because you were a convenience.”
“Most days, I would believe you but…” Lance found the words stuck in his throat. Now wasn’t the time.
Keith seemed to understand what he meant. “But sometimes it’s hard to believe that.”
It was happening anyway.
“Yeah, and like, really what I want is to be able to make it home and just find someone who accepts me for me, ya know? Like the team is great, but we’re forced to be together because of Zarkon and what not. But once this is over, what next?”
God, where was all this coming from? What was in the water, was it some kind of truth serum?
Lance watched Keith as he mulled his words over. This was the first time he really seemed to take Lance's words to heart. He was finding out that Keith wasn't the head-strong boy fighting the training bots, he was someone who was quiet, and actually considerate if Lance thought about it hard enough. Like the time he told them it was an honor flying with them, only a day after finding his lion and forming Voltron. His was a quiet reassurance, not loud and boisterous like Lance was.
“I don’t know what will be next,” Keith said eventually. “For all we know, we could go back to earth after this.”
“What would you want to do after this?” Lance asked. He was genuinely curious, and Keith seemed to be open for this conversation, even if they both didn’t know the answers as to what was ahead of them.
“Probably something just…just like this.” Keith struggled with his words. “I just want to find someone who’s going to accept me for me, not as the red paladin, not as the top Garrison pilot who ended up dropping out for punching Iverson in the face. He was wrong about Shiro and he tried to hide it.” The fire was back and Lance felt his heart fall a little Shiro’s name, but Keith kept going, the words falling out his mouth. “I like the peace and quiet, and this is something that I wouldn’t mind doing every day.”
“What? Floating around in a glowing pool on an abandoned alien planet?” Lance laughed.
Keith rolled his eyes, grinning anyways. “Okay, so not exactly like this, but you know, like this. Relaxing.”
“Yeah I get you, man, was just messing.”
Keith chuckled. “But what about you, though?”
Lance tamped down the urge to say anywhere with you, Keith and turned the conversation away. “Pretty much the same thing as you, but with my family in there somewhere if they’re still around after this. Time on earth and in space is just weird and I never really know how much time has really gone by between us and home.” He was toeing the line of dangerous territory now.
Keith side-eyed him and swam back to the ledge. He hauled himself out of the water and turned to sit, leaving his feet on the water. Lance swam after him, but stayed in, pillowing his head in his arms. He let his legs float in the water. They were quiet, Keith staring at the water and Lance at the wall.
"Would… would you still keep in touch with all of us afterward?"
Lance looked up at Keith, his cheeks dark in the blue light. What was Keith getting at here?
“Well, I mean, yeah. You guys are like a second family to me. I wouldn’t just drop you guys just because the war is over and everything.”
Keith was quiet. Lance didn’t really know what to say after that. The weird feeling from the water had died down, but Keith looked troubled. His emotions were battling it out on his face, eyes flashing before settling on something between determination and resignation.
“I know we’re a team…” he began.
Oh god.
“…but do you – do you think that maybe…”
Fuck.
“…that some of us could be more than just teammates?”
Lance short-circuited. He could feel his brain kick into high gear and leave everything behind. His mouth opened and shut multiple times, strangled and unintelligible words fall out of it.
Did…did… Keith…?
Keith was stubbornly looking away from him, shoulders pinched up to his ears and his head ducked down. His hair was in his face, eyes in shadow. But with the light from the water, Lance could see they were shut tight like he was trying to ward off Lance's inevitable rejection.
Yet… Lance couldn’t fathom someone like Keith ever…
Lance turned his head away, looking at the wall. He could feel his emotions threatening to spill over, he really didn’t want to cry in front of Keith, but he wasn’t a person that Keith deserved. “I don’t know why anyone from the team would want to, though. I’m loud and obnoxious, my ideas are crazy. My mind is everywhere and nowhere at the same time, and all I do is crack jokes to get the attention off of my mistakes. I’m a fuck up. It’s as simple as that.”
Keith turned and kicked him in the side. “You are not a fuck up, Lance.”
“But-”
“No, shut up, just listen to me.” Keith glared down at him and Lance shut up. “You aren’t a fuck up. Making mistakes is just part of learning and you haven’t made one since you trying to kick the orb thing from the first robeast we fought. You saved Coran from a bomb. Those jokes you make keep us from thinking too much about how much of a disadvantage we are at. You keep us from getting stuck in our own heads. You’re observant, quick on your feet, and you keep a level head in tight situations. And you keep this team together when it really counts. We need you…”
And then much quieter. “…I need you.”
Lance's heart stopped and started again, painfully. Keith really felt that way about him, he really saw that in him? This whole time he thought the team tolerated him, that he didn't actually benefit that team in any way…
“Do you – do you really think that?”
Keith slipped into the water, getting eye-level with him. “Would I have said so if I didn’t?”
Lance scoffed. "For all I know, you could be messing with me and this is all some type of prank-"
Keith grabbed his shoulders and spun him around, his back against the ledge. His eyes were on fire, defiant.
“Lance, I would never lie to you about something like this.”
Lance gulped and stared back at Keith, eyes wide.
“Yeah, but Hunk does all the same things I do… we’re both the legs of Voltron…”
The grip on his shoulders tightened and Keith looked away, gathering himself before turning back to Lance. His eyes were softer, brighter even.
“Lance, you’re important,” Keith muttered. “I mean that.”
“…Really?”
“Really.”
Lance felt tears prick his eyes. He shut them and turned his face away from Keith. Fuck, he told himself that he wasn’t going to cry in front of Keith. Dammit, since when did Keith have this much power over him? He felt like putty, letting Keith's words mold him.
"But… you deserve something - someone more than…" He couldn't say it. He blinked away tears.
Keith pulled him into a hug, his chin tucking itself over her shoulder. “I don’t care what you think. I don’t need a superhero or anything like that. I’m not looking for a fairy tale, Lance. I’m looking for something real, someone I can turn to…someone I can hold on to.”
Lance wrapped his arms around Keith and buried his face into his shoulder. “Yeah, but I’m still not…”
Keith pulled back. He lifted Lance’s face up, hands caressing his cheeks. “To me you are.”
God, this was really happening. Lance felt a shaky breath leave him before Keith was there, forehead touching his, his fingers playing the hair on the back of his neck. Lance closed his eyes and breathed him. The water smelled sweet, and it made a heady mix with Keith’s own scent.
“Keith, I…” Why couldn’t he find works? He always had words, why was it so hard now?
The other boy never let him finish. He gently tipped Lance’s head and their lips met.
And Lance melted.
One hand came up to tilt Keith’s head further, letting him deepen the kiss; his other wrapping around his waist and pulling him flush against Lance. He never dreamed that he would actually get to kiss Keith, or even that Keith wanted to kiss him. It was still tentative, Keith was letting Lance lead, but their lips were still sealed closed against each other.
Then Keith was pulling away, breaking the kiss. The boys looked at each other, shocked that this was happening. One blink and they were kissing again. More desperate, hungry even. One of Keith’s hands left Lance’s face to reach behind them and grab ahold of the ledge, keeping them floating away in the water.
Lance licked Keith’s bottom lip, drawing it into his mouth and sucking gently. He felt Keith shudder against him. It was the only warning he got before Keith’s tongue was dancing with his own and his hips were grinding against Lance. He moaned into the kiss, relishing the way Keith took the lead from him. He bucked his hips forward to meet Keith and the other boy practically growled at the friction they created.
Lance tore away, gasping for breath, but Keith wasn’t done. He started to kiss down Lance’s neck, pausing to suckle gently on his pulse point.
“Keith…” Fuck was that him?
Keith hummed, but he refused to leave Lance’s skin alone. He guided his chin up, giving him more access.
“Are you… hhh, are you sure we should-”
Keith pulled away and look Lance in the eye, his own dilated and nearly black. “Lance, remember what I said about following my instincts?”
Lance blinked dumbly. “You really want to do this? But what about the team?”
“They already knew, Lance. You’re actually really terrible at hiding your feelings.” Keith smirked. “The whole team knew by the first day.”
Lance groaned, tipping his head back. “That’s fucking great…”
Keith chuckled. He tipped Lance’s head back up. He was smiling gently, cupping Lance’s cheek.
“It’s okay, no one was bothered by it.”
Lance scrunched his face up and looked away. “Doesn’t make it any less embarrassing,” he muttered.
The boy in his arms turned his face to look at him again. Lance was stubborn and refused to look at Keith, a blush high on his cheeks.
“Lance, look at me.”
He took a deep breath and looked at Keith. Keith was still smiling gently and he was still cupping Lance’s face, his thumb stroking across his cheekbone. The water around them was bright, brighter than it had been before the kiss.
“I’m not judging you for liking me, really I’m not. You’re an amazing person, someone that I admire. You’re charismatic and you show everyone that you care, which is something that I’m still working on. You’re amazing, Lance, and… and I want to be with you.”
Honestly, if Lance’s brain wasn’t fried, it certainly was now. Keith. Keith, the red paladin, the top pilot at the Garrison, Keith mcfreaking Kogane, wanted to be with him.
“I’m not dreaming am I?”
Keith chuckled and shook his head. “As real as you being the blue paladin.”
“Then I’ve died, right?”
“You’re an idiot,” Keith muttered, rolling his eyes and leaning forward to kiss him again.
Lance hummed and pressed back. He felt lighter, lighter than he ever had before. Not when he was accepted into the Garrison, not when Blue chose him in the cave in the middle of the desert. This was it. This was the peak. The epitome to his existence because this, this was what he wanted, needed even.
Keith pulled away, just enough to ghost over Lance’s lips, their noses touching and foreheads resting on each other’s.
“So, I take it that you really are serious about liking me.”
“Do I need to kiss you again to prove it?”
Lance smiled, slow and steady till it was blinding. "No, I believe you now. What do you think? We head back to the castle?"
Keith huffed his own smile on his lips – those soft and gentle lips. "Tired already?"
"Hah you wish, samurai." Lance tightened his arms around Keith. "But I wouldn't mind cuddling all night if that's ok with you?"
Keith nuzzled Lance’s cheek. “I would love that, let’s go.”
He pushed away from Lance and climbed out of the pool. The glowing had spread halfway across its surface. When Lance turned to follow Keith, the pool immediately dimmed, returning to its original level before either of them were in it. Both of them used their shirts to dry off enough to slip on their shoes. Next thing they knew, they were leaving the cave hand in hand, and grinning like children as they walked back through the forest.
Turns out, Lance actually was looking for something just like this.
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jess-oh · 6 years
Text
Reflection
I am currently sitting in the restroom and I’m hoping no one else needs to use it bc im going to be in here for a while. before i start, i keep getting diarrhea whenever i eat oily or unhealthy foods and it makes me really sad bc it’s limiting a lot of what I can eat or grab. It’s probably just a sign that I need to start meal prepping better but it still makes me pretty upsetti, mom’s spaghetti. :( I keep having to suffer for eating this gr9 food! Anyway,
I am for sure going to tell Eunice on Saturday for dinner. And I really hope she comes through bc it’s definitely something that I need to address. And if she doesn’t come then...I’ll try to tell her in person on Sunday but I know that that is going to be so much harder to do but I hope that I can find it within myself to just do it. And if she doesn’t come then either, then I don’t think I should wait. I think I should just fb message her and tell her that I know and my standpoint and how much I care for her. I really do.
Whenever I see a notification on Facebook, I hope that it’s Andrew. I’m sure that he has no idea how I’ve been wrestling with my thoughts about him and it’s definitely still a process. I for sure want to get to a place where I care so much for him, Sofia, and David that I don’t care if it costs our friendship. I just want them to be saved by Christ so that they will know His love and make it to Heaven. I just need to figure out how to best communicate that to them. And I’m sure it’s by just really loving upon them and leading a life that’s more Christlike and encouraging them to question my fierce loyalty and face in the Lord. Actually, while typing this, he did message our group chat with Sofia and I was really glad. He mentioned the Olympics and we got to talking. And I know it’s only been a day so I shouldn’t be freaking out that we aren’t talking daily but... idk. After the discussion on Saturday, my thoughts are all jumbled up but I’m working on organizing them. I do genuinely want the best for them. 
My day today... I had trouble sleeping last night and it didn’t help that I was up late talking to my sister on the phone for like three hours. And I had spent the majority of my day filing my taxes. I know it’s not a ton of money but I’m planning on using that to open up a savings account and/or a credit card so that I can start building my credit! Of course, filing my taxes will also be way harder from now on too :( I chose to sleep for about an hour and a half to two hours and I regretted it bc I was late to work again and I’m starting to care less but I also do feel bad. But I swear, I never hear my alarms go off! I’m usually so good at waking up to them but now....I just sleep through them! I think I need to change my alarm tones of the time or something so that I can actually get up out of bed when they go off. I’ve definitely been a lot more prone to procrastinating lately and I don’t want to do that. It’s so much better when I just get my work done ASAP and don’t have to worry about it later. Especially since I’m starting to beef up my extracurriculars—what with VBS, joining MAST, and trying to come out to more ASO meetings. I have a lot of ahead of me and if something goes wrong in my life again, I can’t afford to be behind in my work. Which is why I should prep now, get feedback, and do better on my projects. I do feel like I’m struggling right now and I never take the time to read the feedback and learn from it, although I should. I was actually really upset with Jilly today during graphic design bc she kept going back on her word and I’m pretty sure the rest of the room could tell how upset we were after. We did our best to contain it but that stand off tone was definitely there. I was ready to fight her and I kept thinking in my mind that I’m supposed to love and not hate but man, I was so tempted to just sock her in the face. How are we supposed to know what to do if she keeps going back on her word? That’s so unfair for her to grade us so harshly when she’s given us unclear instructions to begin with! It’s maddening! I got home, dropped off some rice at Mulan’s, and headed to the dry cleaners on Wabash. It did look like there were some cheaper stores a bit farther away but I already wanted to check this one out so I went anyway and if it was way too pricey, I would just learn to not go there in the future. But it was actually great! The owner was an older Asian man, I think Korean and I felt a lot better about it. He mentioned the inner seams being torn but either he gave me a discount or just didn’t include it since it said “3 items. 1 seams $0.00″ Whatever the reason, I was nervous it would be upwards $50 - 130 and I was really nervous bc I didn’t want to spent that much money. But it was actually only $20 and I felt so much better. I’ll definitely be returning there soon!
Also, I texted Eliza and it looks like she’s okay with going forward with Cottage Grove. Since her parents would need to pay for both Emily and Eliza, I am a little bit worried but we are getting very close to securing the apartment and I’m pretty excited. I just hope we’re the only applicants so we get it by default, haha. Please let us get this apartment, God! And actually, Loren told me this amazing story about something that happened to my mom. Our mortgage was 5k this month and bc my dad doesn’t have a job yet and we had to pay 2k for Robbin’s funeral, my mom was worried that we wouldn’t be able to make it. When suddenly, she receives a letter in the mail about a lawsuit against Costco from a couple years ago and she received $7k!!! The exact number we needed! God is so good and gracious! Thank you so much, Lord!
And I finally got to talk with Dana today and we didn’t get to go super deep since we were short on time but it was still nice to talk and hear about how she perceived everything and I did try to encourage her to learn to trust the people in Movement bc I think they are a really good community and we are getting better at going deeper and becoming more understanding which I am excited about. But we aren’t there yet. I shared a few stories that I’ve learned about the people in the ministry and I hope it was encouraging to her. I also shared about my own experiences and honestly, halfway through the story, I would forget the point or why I started talking and felt bad that I was making the situation about me instead of how I can best help Dana. I think the best thing I can do is to just pray for her and really be there for her as a sister in Christ.
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