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#snarky protag keith
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“Jesus – fuck!” Keith yanks down on the yoke with all his might, making their little pod rear back, missing the gigantic asteroid by mere inches. He watches with wide eyes as the asteroid continues rocketing by, acutely aware that he nearly smashed the pod in everyone in it.
There’s a tense, speechless silence in the pod for a moment, everyone aware of how close they were to becoming Actual Space Debris, before Romelle speaks up.
Because of course it was Romelle.
“Maybe focus on keeping us not dead and daydream about gay reunions later,” she says drily, and Keith bites back a scathing response, because he realises he has absolutely no leg to stand on, there.
“My bad,” he says instead. Romelle rolls her eyes fondly before decking him lightly on the shoulder.
Well, it would be lightly, were she not an Altean. But she is, and Keith has to tense every muscle in his body to keep from crying out in agony like a loser.
“Wait, no, not your bad,” Krolia says.
Romelle blinks at her. “Okay, I get he’s your son and all, but it very much was his bad.”
“No, I got a signal for a second!”
Keith whips around, staring at his mother with wide eyes. “You got signal? Seriously?”
“Yes! I think it was the magnetic flare from the asteroid! Get close to it again, I might be able to hold the signal long enough to broadcast!”
Keith does not waste a moment. He turns the pod around at lightning speed, pushing it as fast as it will go to catch up to the asteroid, carefully avoiding its surrounding debris, which is a lot harder than it looks, and causes a significant amount of turbulence. Which, of course, sets Kosmo off, howling at the windows and scratching at anything he can reach, on top of the deafening grinding sound of surrounding space rocks smashing into each other at high speeds, and the crackling of the comms they are desperately trying to make work.
“Anything?” Keith yells over the chaotic noise of Every Sound At Once.
“Yes! The signal is getting stronger! Once I can get it to connect, it should maintain itself, so keep close just a little longer!”
Keith grits his teeth, wrapping both hands around the yoke and ignoring the voice in his head – that sounds suspiciously like Lance – that makes a dirty joke about the position. He just focuses as hard as he can, trying to keep as close to the asteroid as he can without smashing the ship into it or getting smashed by all the debris travelling at several hundred miles an hour.
“Closer!” Krolia shouts.
Keith resists the urge to tell her that he’s closer to the asteroid right now than he’s ever been to any parental figure in his life, because that would be uncalled for and also rude and he is a Mature Adult, now.
He nudges them the slightest smidge closer, praying to the universe at large that the thrusters don’t give out, and finally Krolia shouts in success.
“I got it! I got Voltron! Pull back!”
With great relief, Keith does, putting as much distance between them and immediate mortal peril as he can. Once the asteroid is far enough away that Keith no longer feels his heart attempting to pound clean through his chest, he slumps over the controls, repeatedly reminding himself that this is, at the very least, better than the goddamn motherfucking bitch-ass space rift.
(Which is, honestly, a very low bar. Contracting E. coli from getting a swirly would be better than the space rift. But still. Small victories, et cetera, et cetera.)
“Um, hi?” comes a voice Keith hasn’t heard in two fucking years, and he almost cries in relief.
Well, not almost. There are tears streaming down his face. But he feels he’s pretty justified, so it’s whatever.
“Pidge!” he calls, ditching the pilot’s seat and fully running over to where Krolia sits, radio holoscreen up and working.
His old teammate gapes at him. “Keith?!”
Keith grins, soft and happy. “Hey, man. I missed you.”
She stares at him in silence, for several minutes. Keith lets her gather herself, even though the silence is getting real awkward real fast.
“Why do you look jacked as hell?” is what Pidge decides on, and God, it’s been so long since he’s heard a dumbass remark that’s definitely a poorly disguised roast, somehow. It feels like home.
“Because I am jacked as hell. I spent two years in Actual Hell –”
Romelle glares at him. “Quit talking shit about my actual place of residence –”
“Your place of residence imprisoned me for two fucking years I will talk all the shit I want –”
“I can beat you up, Kogane, try me –”
“I can handle a beating and still run my mouth, M’lyoy, so I will try you –”
“Children!” Krolia barks, and they both snap their mouths shut so hard there’s an audible click. “We have desperate, time-sensitive information. You have been bickering for three straight days. Can it, or so help me, I will turn this ship around.
“Goddamn, Kogane,” Pidge says after a moment, “someone just got told off. What, did you fuck off and find your mother or something?”
Keith blinks. “Yeah. How’d you know that?”
“How did I know that – I was joking, dude, fuck! Is that actually your mother?”
“I am,” Krolia says. “You must be Pidge. The short one who cusses often.”
Keith freezes. “Ma,” he hisses, “why would you tell her I said that?”
“Three straight days,” she deadpans, completely uncaring.
Pidge glares at him. “I’ll admit I missed you, you bitch, but please know that you are so, so fucking lucky you are not within bayard distance.”
“Noted,” Keith says weakly.
“I can smack him for you, if you like,” Romelle offers, not even attempting to hide a smirk.
“Thank you, strange Altean, whose existence baffles me beyond comprehension,” Pidge says.
Romelle attempts to do as promised, but Keith jerks out of the way at the last second, and then scrambles over to Krolia’s other side to avoid any further assault.
“Coward,” she and Pidge say at the same time.
Man, having little sisters is annoying. Almost as annoying as having an older brother. Keith wishes he was back to being an only child.
(Not really.)
“Can we please get back on task,” Keith says, which is hilarious coming from him, but whatever.
“Right,” Pidge says, face turning serious. “What the hell is going on?”
“First of all, where’s everyone else?”
“Doing other shit,” Pidge says, “I’m on monitoring duty. Coran and Hunk are reworking the control panel for the accelerators, Shiro’s meditating, Allura and Lotor are on their Oriande mission, and Lance is – actually, I have no idea what Lance is doing, but he’s on the castle somewhere. Probably.”
At the mention of Lotor, everyone’s face goes ashen, playful atmosphere completely dissipating.
“Fuck,” Keith says.
Pidge, ever the problem-solver, looks resigned. “It’s Lotor, isn’t it,” she says, and it’s not really a question.
“Yes,” Romelle agrees softly. “He’s a monster. He’s using my people as batteries, to drain our quintessence, to rule worse than his father ever did.”
“And we’ve just led him by the hand to the one place that will make him unstoppable,” Pidge summarizes, looking absolutely miserable.
“Unfortunately.”
“I don’t suppose you have a plan?”
“We don’t…not have a plan,” Keith says. “We’ll have the element of surprise, so long as we get back to the castle before he does, and that’s got to count for something. We’ll send you our coords, and we’ll try to meet as quickly as possible? It might be easier to plan with the whole team present.”
“Sounds good,” Pidge says, immediately pulling up a few dozen screens and schematics. Krolia quickly types something on her keypad, and Keith watches as it pings over to Pidge. “Oh, hey, we’re actually not that far away. Maybe a couple hours, if we gun it towards you? And Allura – God, I hope she’s okay – won’t be back until the end of the day, so that timing works out. I’ll tell Coran we need to get moving and fast.”
“Thank you, Pidge,” Krolia says.
“No problem, Ms. Keith’s Hot Mom.”
Keith sighs. Romelle giggles. Krolia looks amused.
“I forgot how annoying you are,” he mutters. He doesn’t need to look to know Pidge is sticking her tongue out at him, but looks anyway, just to prove himself right.
“Well, I look forward to reminding you, booger-brain.”
Keith opens his mouth with the full intention of calling her a roach-face, but then remembers that he is a Mature Adult, and decides he will instead graffitti it on her workspace as soon as he gets back, like a real man.
“Bye, Pidge,” he says, and reaches forward to swipe through the holoscreen.
“Hey, wait! Don’t hang up yet!”
Keith pauses, looking at her expectantly. “Yeah?”
The playful, teasing expression that came back for a moment when they were arguing has melted from her face, and she looks serious again. Nervous, even. “Um, something… happened, while you were gone,” she starts, and Keith immediately jumps to the worst possible conclusion.
“What happened to Lance? Is he okay? Is he hurt?” he asks in a panic.
“He is not dead and also not injured or maimed or anything,” Pidge says, which is very different to ‘why, of course not, Keith, Lance is safe and happy and healthy’.
“Spit it out, Pidge,” he orders in his Patented Black Paladin Voice.
“I can’t really explain it. I’m just gonna – I’m gonna send you a link, and you’re going to watch the whole thing and not tell Lance I sent it to you, okay?”
Keith swallows roughly. “Just tell me what happened, Pidge.”
“Okay, Keith?” she repeats, and Keith knows he’s not going to get anything else out of her.
“Okay. Fine. Send it to me.”
“It’s sent,” she says, just as a notification pops up on the receiver. “Um, you can hang up now. That’s all I had to say.”
Keith doesn’t even say goodbye. The only thing he can focus on is that receiver. In the background, he can vaguely hear Romelle and Krolia ending the call, but all his attention is on the little notification – a link, like Pidge said. He picks the receiver up carefully, and walks carefully over to his bunk in the back.
“I guess I’m driving!” Romelle says cheerily, trying to goad him into a playful argument (her… interesting piloting skills having been the subject of their bickering on numerous occasions) but Keith barely even hears her. He clicks on the link, space youtube quickly taking up the screen.
In hindsight, Keith wishes he’d waited to watch, waited for Krolia and Romelle to fall asleep, or even dug around for a pair of headphones, or something. Anything instead of playing what feels like a private message – even though this is clearly something that was broadcasted to the universe at large – to the pod at large.
Hindsight is 20/20.
Instead, he watches with wide, horrified eyes as he witnesses the direct result his leaving had on his best friend.
I'm sorry but I gotta go
That’s what he said to me, as he let me go, he left me alone
Keith recognises those words. He fucking – those are his words. The thing is – the thing is, that contrary to what he knows everyone else thinks, Keith didn’t leave for the Blades after a few days of private introspection.
He talked to Lance – to his right hand – about the issue for months. They made the decision together. Lance knew every feeling, every need running through Keith’s brain, and consequently, Keith knew every thoughtrunning through Lance’s.
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ao3feed-klance · 6 years
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Why Don't We Collide
read it on AO3 at https://ift.tt/2Myx52j
by icedsonder
Keith knew he was rambling, but for the life of him, he could not stop.
“I don’t know what it was about him that simultaneously made me want to punch him and also hang onto his every word. He just…” Keith could feel his cheeks burn, “He would just walk into a room and suddenly I could envision what sunshine on a warm day on Varadero was like.”
The Blade stopped completely, looking down at Keith.
Keith could very faintly hear footsteps in the distance. He didn’t know what the person under the mask look like, but he could feel the intensity of their gaze nonetheless.
He swallowed, heart pounding, “I don’t know why I’m telling you this.”
//
In which Keith has has some chance encounters with a Blade of Marmoran fighter who reminds him of someone he knew.
Words: 2904, Chapters: 1/1, Language: English
Fandoms: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Categories: M/M
Characters: Keith (Voltron), Lance (Voltron), Pidge (Voltron), Shiro (Voltron), Allura (Voltron), Hunk (Voltron), Coran (Voltron)
Relationships: Keith/Lance (Voltron)
Additional Tags: Blade of Marmora Lance (Voltron), Alternate Universe, Canon Divergent, Basically this is what if Lance had left the team post s3 instead of Keith, Pining Keith (Voltron), Minor Angst, Keith is a snarky protag bc I said so
read it on AO3 at https://ift.tt/2Myx52j
23 notes · View notes
Why Don't We Collide
read it on the AO3 at Why Don't We Collide
by icedsonder
Keith knew he was rambling, but for the life of him, he could not stop.
“I don’t know what it was about him that simultaneously made me want to punch him and also hang onto his every word. He just…” Keith could feel his cheeks burn, “He would just walk into a room and suddenly I could envision what sunshine on a warm day on Varadero was like.”
The Blade stopped completely, looking down at Keith.
Keith could very faintly hear footsteps in the distance. He didn’t know what the person under the mask look like, but he could feel the intensity of their gaze nonetheless.
He swallowed, heart pounding, “I don’t know why I’m telling you this.”
//
In which Keith has has some chance encounters with a Blade of Marmoran fighter who reminds him of someone he knew.
Words: 2904, Chapters: 1/1, Language: English
Fandoms: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Categories: M/M
Characters: Keith (Voltron), Lance (Voltron), Pidge (Voltron), Shiro (Voltron), Allura (Voltron), Hunk (Voltron), Coran (Voltron)
Relationships: Keith/Lance (Voltron)
Additional Tags: Blade of Marmora Lance (Voltron), Alternate Universe, Canon Divergent, Basically this is what if Lance had left the team post s3 instead of Keith, Pining Keith (Voltron), Minor Angst, Keith is a snarky protag bc I said so
read it on the AO3 at Why Don't We Collide
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autisticlancemcclain · 5 months
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The ship was shaking like a kid holding a goldfish bag.
It was not, in case you were wondering, a good time. 
Keith grit his teeth, planting his boots on the ground and half-walking half-climbing over to Allura, who was paler than Keith had ever seen her. The grip she had on her podium was tight enough to drain the blood completely from her knuckles. Despite his own fear, Keith’s heart softened for her. 
“How is it looking?” he asked, shouting over the noise of a thousand asteroids and a million laser strikes. All while their lions sat, drained of quintessence, locked in their hangars
One goddamn thing after another. Jesus. 
“It is looking bad,” Allura shouted, not taking her eyes off the space in front of her. “I can’t – Coran, I can’t hold it on my own!”
Coran looked back at her grimly. He had probably the most success keeping upright – seriously, was it posture or did he have a steel rod anchored to his back at all times – but even he was struggling against the whipping and shuddering of the massive castleship, attention focused on the controls. Trying to keep the shield up as well as possible, trying to get their own defenses running. Trying, as always, to keep the castle going, even when the odds were a million to nothing. 
“You can,” he encouraged. The effect was less encouraging when a massive asteroid hit the side of the bridge point-blank, throwing him right off the controls and splat into the walls. Despite Lance and Allura’s cries of alarm, he made a startlingly dignified crawl back to the deck controls.
Hell of a man, that advisor. 
He continued once he was steady, sweat beading on his brow but gaze soft and assuring. He waited for Allura to meet his eyes, then nodded, once. “Focus, girl. Hands on the spheres. Mind cool on the exhale. However we need to get out of this – you can guide us. Make your decision. Your team is behind you.”
“Yeah!” Pidge cheered, lifting her fist in emphasis from where Shiro held her steady, eyes trained on her computer screen. Blaring red lines of code Keith could not pretend to read flashing rapid speed in front of her, and she typed back at it just as fast, keeping their crackling systems at bay. “You got this!”
Allura breathed out. The tense line of her shoulders softened, just slightly, despite the ongoing chaos. She lifted her hands and rested them, gently, on the podium spheres as Coran instructed. They glowed. 
“We retreat,” she decided, nodding to herself. “We’re already low on quintessence, standing to fight will drain us dangerously. We must get to safety if we are to survive with our home intact.” She bit her lip, eyes opening. “But, uh, full disclosure, I have enough strength in me to open a wormhole and that is About It. I will be out of commission the moment it closes.”
Hunk shrugged. “We’ll catch you, then.”
“Try not to wormhole us into a black hole,” Shiro suggested, smiling slightly. “We’ll manage anything else, Princess.”
She laughed slightly, thankfully, but within seconds called out for everyone to brace themselves. Keith did as she heeded, or he tried to – but the castle got hit as he tried to crawl back to his seat, sprawling him on the floor. He glanced over at Allura, panicked, but her eyes were already glowing, and the space in front of them was already starting to warp. He swallowed roughly, squeezing his eyes shut. The floor was shaking too badly for him to get his bearings. He couldn’t get his feet under him, couldn’t stand, couldn’t dream to crawl to his seat. He stilled, resigning himself – he didn’t know exactly what would happen if he wasn't strapped down and protected during a wormhole jump, but it couldn’t be good. He had to hope for the best.
“God,” sighed a voice to his left, “you’d die without me, Dropout.”
A hand clenched the back of his jacket and yanked, pulling him tumbling onto another body. Quick as lightning a seatbelt was stretched over him, clicking into place just as the space in front of the castle finally warped, bright blue, and the entire bridge lit up so bright Keith was blind with it. 
When the light finally died down, Keith was half-convinced nothing had changed. The castle stopped shaking, but instead it was plummeting, hard and fast, controls dead and energy gone, towards the surface of a planet. 
“Someone catch Allura!” Coran shouted, and on queue the princess’ eyes rolled up in her head and she slumped forward. Luckily, Hunk had been more prepared than the rest of them, seatbelt already off and arms extended to catch her. He carried her back to her seat, buckling her in carefully, and strapping himself in next to her. Wise move – trying to crawl back to his own seat, fighting against the G-forces, would be near impossible.
There was a click, and then a shove, and then Keith got to feel those G-forces firsthand.
“What the hell!” he demanded, barely managing to catch himself on the arm of the blue paladin’s seat. “I coulda brained myself!”
Lance shrugged, playing for innocent, but a smirk pulled at the corner of his mouth. Keith could’ve strangled him. “What? Thought I’d let you get back to your own chair. You're welcome for saving you, by the way.”
“Some saving, jerk! We're still falling!”
“Yeah. Personally, I would find somewhere to buckle up.”
“You’re so annoying,” Keith growled, and it was by spite alone that he managed to stomp back to his own seat and buckle himself in. He was bright red, anger making him hot – Lance always made him like this, so furious he could barely blink. One day they’d be making progress, working together like a dream, wiping the floor together, and the next it was like a switch was flipped. Like Lance was reminding himself that he and Keith could never get along. It was ridiculous, and Keith couldn’t for the life of him understand it. Was he so bad?
“Incoming!” Pidge shouted, shaking Keith back to himself. Her screen was now linked up with Coran’s, the only two things on in the entire castle – electronics seemed to come alive when Pidge touched them – and diagrams of the castle systems were blaring red, flashing with symbols Keith didn’t know, but recognised as bad. “The nav and power systems are down! It’s not safe to get anyone back there to force them back on manually, but I think I can get steering up in a sec. Shiro, I need your arm for power. Hunk, keep on Allura, make sure she’s upright when we crash, we don’t want a spinal injury. Lance, Keith, I’m turning steering over to you guys. Don’t fuck it up.”
Despite their bickering, both of them nodded. Neither of them particularly wanted to be turned into paladin pancake anytime soon, so they could collaborate for one thing. 
Seconds after Pidge spoke, a screen flickered to life in front of Keith. Stats blinked back up, glitching rapidly as they translated themselves into words and symbols Keith could understand. The hologram shifted and expanded to its usual 3D model, joystick in the middle, thrusters and controls to his left, a screen with Lance’s comm line to his right. In his little screen, Lance met his eyes, eyebrows raised in question. Keith nodded. Together, they wrapped their hands around the joysticks, breathed out, and let their minds fuse.
As always, it was a freaky feeling. Imagine the weird, shuddery feeling you get when you say the same thing as someone at the same time, voices layering, tone mixing, for a moment your own voice and the voice of a stranger synching into one. The weird, deja-vu-but-not of it, the uncanny valley feel of recognising your own voice but…different. 
Then multiply that freakiness by a hundred, and you still won’t quite get it. 
On some levels Keith was aware that he was his own person. He knew his name, knew his hands, knew his history – or well, some of it. Nothing about himself had changed. 
But at the same time, he was also Lance Esposita-McClain. He knew his name, knew his hands, knew his history, more of it than he could ever get from shared stories or mind melds. There’s no telling the way your sister’s arm feels hooked around your neck for the sixth noogie in as many minutes. There’s no explaining the way your breathing only gets calm with your feet in the saltwater. There’s no describing the curve of your mother’s smile. Nothing Keith was seeking out – no memories he would even know to look for – but they were there, simmering, triggered by a smell or the crook of his finger in a particular way. Memories stored in the body and the soul and the senses, not in the brain, shared when two consciousnesses become one. 
Lance’s mind was hyperspecific. It complemented Keith’s well, with all his flitting, quick detail-oriented observance. As Keith jumped from angle to angle, noticing the planet’s curve, the pull of its gravity, the heat of its atmosphere, Lance zeroed in on an island, one of the only ones big enough for them to land. While Keith kept their craft in control, steering along the air currents, Lance kept them directed, single-minded focus on a stretch of rocky beach – not exactly a soft landing, but not a lot of living things for them to destroy when they crash. (Keith would’ve chosen to land in the meadow. Crushing frogs and bugs or whatever is never something on his top priority list of things to avoid. But he didn’t argue when Lance nudged them towards what is about to be a very bumpy landing.)
“Brace yourself!” he shouted, not daring to look away to make sure his friends were buckled. Trusting that they were, he held his position, letting them plummet, coming closer and closer to splatting on the planet’s surface before finally yanking on the joystick as hard as he could. He felt Lance’s strength twist and tangle with his own, and together the two of them levelled the castle almost parallel with the ground, letting them glide on their own velocity until they slowed down enough to let the bottom of the craft brush against the rocky outcrop. 
It was the most turbulent landing Keith has ever felt, except maybe that time he and Lance crashed blindfolded into a sand dune, and every bump on the ground gave him whiplash. When the castle finally hit the ground for good, dragging them a gauge in the ground for several miles as friction finally slowed it to a stop, the leftover inertia yanked Keith forward so roughly the buckles of his seatbelt made something crack in his ribcage. When the castle finally stopped he got slammed back into his chair so hard he was almost surprised he didn’t fall right through the impenetrable material. 
It took a minute for everything to hit. His connection with Lance had been severed the second they hit the ground, too focused on being, y’know, crashed to keep holding on. After the shock of being tossed around like dice in a cup wore off, which did not take long, Keith’s body made it very clear that yeah, no, armour actually only does so much, and crash landing is one of those things that’s just bound to hurt. His skull pounded. At least one of his ribs was most definitely cracked. His wristed and knuckles ached from the strain of holding up the entire weight of the castle as he’d steered it. He was alive, obviously, but – Jesus. Being alive sucked.
“Sound off,” croaked Shiro from somewhere left of him.
“Ugh,” groaned Pidge. “Screw you, Keith, I hate it when you drive.”
“Next time I’ll be sure to let us crash,” Keith responded flatly.
“Um, you did, bozo, I asked you to land us –”
“The castle was dead! What did you expect me to –”
“Allura and I are both fine,” Hunk interrupted. Amusement lined his voice. “She’s still out, but she’s breathing fine, and I didn’t let her hit anything on impact. She should still get checked out, though.”
“Roger that,” Coran agreed. “Ease your worries, Number Two, you did well. I will have her in the MedBay as soon as our systems are up and running again.”
“Oh, whew, that’s a relief, because I didn’t want to say anything but she kinda jammed her elbow into my sternum by accident and I’m not blaming her or anything since she’s unconscious but I think my spleen may be a little dead, not a huge deal I’m sure but –”
“Everyone quiet!” barked Shiro. “That’s six accounted for! Who’s missing?”
Immediately, heart pounding, Keith whipped to his right. His stomach dropped. The Blue Lion Command Chair was empty – seatbelt torn somewhere on the shoulder, cracked helmet overturned carelessly on the seat. The crisp blue and white lines were marred by a small splash of red. Panic clawed its way up Keith’s throat, and he was out of his seat before he could register unbuckling his own straps, looking frantically around the bridge. 
“He’s here somewhere,” Pidge fretted, “he couldn’t’ve just disappeared –” 
Coran had a gloved hand clenched in his hair. “The windows and walls should be almost impenetrable, there is no way the crash broke them enough to let someone in –”
“What the fuck, what the fuck, what the fuck –”
“Guys,” a soft voice interrupted, and Keith could’ve collapsed with relief. The castle has been flipped sideways during the fall, floor suddenly now 90 degrees, and standing at the side of the control board, now the very high top, was Lance. For whatever reason he had climbed it while they bickered, and now stood very still, gloved hand pressed to the glass of the windshield. Blood trickled from his temple, tracing a line down the side of his face, disappearing in the neckline of his armour. “We got company.”
Shifting gears – Keith was about to tear him a new one, when Shiro says sound off you sound off – but froze when he looked out the window, following Lance’s gaze.
Marching towards them, in numbers Keith couldn’t pretend to count, was an army.
— — —
part two
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“Can’t we just give up already?” Pidge whined. “We’ve been hiking in this stupid jungle for a billion years. It’s hot. It’s humid. I’m hungry. We still haven’t found the stupid fucking cave, I don’t even think it’s real. Can’t we just take this one L? Just the one?”
Keith had to agree with her. Normally these adventure missions were right up his alley, but he was more equipped for desert heat — this humid shit was awful. He had no idea how Lance was prancing around like it didn’t affect him. I grew up in Cuba, the weather in the summer sometimes got so hot you literally weren’t allowed outside, this is nothing, bleh bleh bleh. Jerk.
Even Shiro was struggling to stay optimistic, which brought Keith an absurd amount of joy despite his own hatred of the situation. Yeah, it sucked, and it was hot, and he wanted to go lie in a freezer for the next four days, but Shiro had his crazy eyes. It was fantastic. Keith couldn’t wait for the someone to light his fuse juuuuust right. It might be a younger brother thing, but watching Shiro explode was funny literally every time (he watched the Shiro-Slav-Explosion footage before bed every night and laughed just as hard every time. He couldn’t wait to get back to Earth and tell Adam, so they could laugh at Shiro together).
Pidge kept whining about how hot and sweaty she was, eventually goading Hunk to join in, and it finally happened — Shiro cracked!
“Paladins,” he said sharply, smile manic and eyes twitching. Pidge and Hunk snapped their mouths shut immediately. “I know everyone is tired. And hot. But we made the Floroxits a promise, and they need that cave mineral. Allura has assured us it is worth our time. So. We are going to keep following the map, and drinking water, and you two are going to stop whining or so help me God I am going to lose it.”
Keith smirked to himself. Sounded like he had already started to lose it. Heh.
“Now. Hunk. You’ve been on nav, right? I feel like we’ve been walking in circles for a while. Where are we?”
Keith felt a ball of dread grow in his stomach as Hunk started wringing his hands together anxiously, like he did when he knew he had maybe fucked something up.
“Um. Well. I’m not great at nav, and the map looks way different from the actual jungle, so it wouldn’t be entirely inaccurate to possibly maybe insinuate that I. Am not entirely sure. Where exactly. We are.”
Shiro’s eyes twitched harder, but Keith couldn’t even properly enjoy it. They were lost?!
“You got us lost?!” Pidge shrieked. “Hunk! You goober! Why didn’t you say something?”
Hunk threw his hands up, defensive.
“I don’t know! I’m sorry! I kind of just gave Lance the map after a while ‘cause I couldn’t figure it out! I was hoping he’d maybe know —“
Keith turned behind him, about to give Lance as much shit as Pidge was giving Hunk (yes, he was well aware this wasn’t in any way Lance’s fault, but pissing off Lance was almost as fun as driving Shiro loony. Keith lived and breathed for their little rivalry and arguments, although he would rather eat a rabid squirrel than admit that to Lance under any circumstance), but did a double take when he didn’t see the Blue Paladin right behind him.
“Wha — where’s Lance?” Shiro demanded, looking at Keith. Keith threw his arms up, incredulous.
“Why the hell are you asking me? I’m not his babysitter! I don’t know! Why are you looking at me like I killed and buried him, or something?”
“Well if it was gonna be anyone…” Pidge muttered. Keith glared at her darkly.
“Who’s side are you even on?” he demanded. She shrugged, uncaring.
“My loyalty can be bought and sold like gasoline during an economic crisis. You have no god here.”
Keith rolls his eyes. “Whatever. I did not kill Lance, I have no idea where he is. But…” Keith but his lip, letting a bit of his anxiety show through. You won’t get him to admit it out loud, but he worries about Lance. That loveable dumbass somehow always finds himself at the business end of a sword or gun, no matter the situation, and it kind of stresses him out. Keith has no idea how it’s even possible, given that they are miles into the deepest part of a literal uninhabited jungle, but he wouldn’t be shocked to turn a corner and see Lance shit-talking one of Zarkon’s goons with a blaster pointed directly at his forehead.
“Y’know,” Keith muttered. “We should probably look for him, or whatever.”
Keith scowled further when he saw the smile envelop Hunk’s face. “Aw,” he cooed, “I knew you cared about Lance, buddy.”
“Actually, on second thought, he can die in this jungle. Why would I want him here anyway, he’s frustrating and loud and his face is so distracting and —“
“Wait, shut up for a second,” Pidge interrupted. She squinted at something just behind Keith. “As much as I would love to hear Keith admit how often he makes goo-goo eyes at our one and only Blue Paladin… are those Lance’s shoes?”
Keith turns to face what she’s squinting at, pointedly ignoring the goo-goo eyes comment (he does NOT, Lance is stupid and not at all pretty, okay, Pidge can shut the fuck up), and raises an eyebrow when he sees not only Lance’s dorky retro sneakers, but also his stupidly adorable shark socks and what looks to be a good portion of his armour.
To say everyone is flabbergasted is an understatement. Shiro, in particular, looks absolutely bewildered. “Why would he — Lance is the biggest germaphobe on the ship, why would he be walking barefoot around the — he’s gonna step on something —” A voice called out from way above them.
“I found the cave, guys! It’s about six kilometers to the east!”
Four heads shot upwards, eyes widening as they focused on a tiny waving blob, several dozen storeys high in a tree.
“Oh my God — Lance hold on! Don’t move” Shiro demanded, panicked. “You don’t have your jetpack! We’ll come get you, oh my God!”
Either Lance didn’t hear him, or decided to ignore him (Keith could guess which one was true for the contrary little fucker, albeit a little hysterically — Lance had to be at least 300 feet in the air, and Keith had seen him trip over his own two feet six times in the last four days. Sue him for worrying a little), because he took a running leap off a branch, launching himself in the air.
Keith is not the only one who screamed at the top of his lungs, and he’ll bet his lion on that. Pidge is a lying liar who lies and never agrees with Keith ever. Keith heard her scream too, Pidge is a gaslighter and a fraud.
But Lance was not plummeting to his death, thankfully. He angled his body, curving his fall, and then grabbed on to a nearby vine, using his own momentum to swing himself around the paladins, letting go at the peak of his arch. He flipped twice in the air, then landed in a graceful crouch in front of everyone, grinning at them.
“That was awesome!” he exclaimed, straightening up and dusting off his flight suit. He walked over to his pile of stuff, and started pulling everything back on.
Everyone gaped at him. After several moments of stunned silence, Lance looked up from where he was tugging on his leg braces.
“What?” he asked, as if he had not just leapt from a tree as tall an average apartment building. With zero safety equipment. Informing no one of his plans or his apparent skill in said stunt.
Keith, predictably, recovered first. Any chance to start something with his rival. Go figure.
“What the shit was that?!” he demanded, shrill.
Lance raised a brow, either not seeing the issue or willfully ignoring it.
“Uh, me wrapping up this mission?”
“What part of jumping to your death was wrapping up the mission?” Pidge screeched, for once backing Keith up.
Lance rolled his eyes. “I didn’t ‘jump to my death’,” he argued around mocking air quotes. “I made sure the tree was sturdy and climbable. I checked for vines strong enough to swing on. I’ve done this before. It wasn’t a Keith decision. It was well thought out! And now I know where the cave is, so we can grab those minerals and bounce.”
Before Keith even had the chance to be offended over Lance substituting his name for ‘impulsive’, Shiro had already walked away, muttering something about ‘high blood pressure’ and ‘goddamned thick-headed children who don’t think a damn thing through’ or whatever it was old men grumbled about. Keith resolved to make fun of him for it later. Hunk spoke up next.
“Not to encourage you or anything,” said Lance’s number one enabler in an enabling tone, “But that was kind of dope. You looked like Spider-Man, and you got us out of this stupid jungle faster. So. Props, man.”
“Aw, thanks, dude!” said Lance, grinning, as he bumped Hunk’s outstretched fist. Pidge threw her hands up, incredulous.
“Unbelievable! He leaps from 300 feet in the air and you congratulate him. Say it was fucking cool. I hate boys.” She stormed off to join Shiro, but Keith didn’t miss the slight smile on her face. He knew that she knew that as reckless as it was, what Lance did was unfortunately cool as shit.
Keith scowled at Lance and at himself for thinking that Lance was in any way anything other than a dork, and punched him twice in the arm.
“Ow! Fuck! What is your problem, Keith? Why did you hit me twice?” he demanded, rubbing his shoulder. Keith sniffed.
“First one is for jumping to your death like a fucking crazy person. The second one is for not inviting me. Jackass.”
He stalked away, but couldn’t hide his grin at Lance’s answering laugh. He rolled his eyes at himself.
Whatever. At least his crush was cool. Shiro’s fiancé unironically went to bed at 8 p.m. and got up early to watch birds eat worms or whatever.
Keith wins this one.
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