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wilteddreamsofbaldursgate · 3 months

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I’m a fierce believer and defender of Smooth Brain Astarion (affectionate).

I love that, if left to his own devices, he ends up dead in a ditch. I love that this pasty menace of an elf is a walking disaster. I love that his brain produces one coherent thought per day, only to have it backfire on him later on. I love that his first choice in freedom is to unapologetically be the worst version of himself. Because it makes sense.

That’s what abuse and trauma do to your brain—they fuck with it.

And in Astarion’s defence, the man didn’t have to use his brain for nearly 200 years—it’s probably the very thing that kept him as alive as he can be; to survive 200 years of pure shit.

And what use is his brain when his days and nights are dictated by someone else for as long as he can remember? When he has no say in what clothes he wears. When he doesn’t get to choose what or when to eat. When his body and mind aren’t his own, distorted by torture and hunger and self-loathing, forced to obey his vampiric master. Why use his brain when his survival depends exclusively on his abuser’s whims?

Astarion could’ve come up with the most brilliant plan possible to escape Cazador or save a mark from their doom, but he never stood a chance of succeeding—which doesn’t mean that he didn’t get punished for trying (or even thinking about it) anyway.

Existing under Cazador was a game he couldn’t win, so why bother playing?

And it’s only by chance that Astarion’s autonomy is returned to him literally overnight. It’s only natural that he’s overwhelmed by his newfound freedom. How is he expected to make sound decisions when he can’t even recall a time when he could do and say as he pleased?

Of course Astarion is a walking disaster when he finds himself on that beach after the Nautiloid crash—and he’s fully aware of that! That’s why it’s so crucial for him to get on the player’s/other companion’s good side.

He’s self-aware enough to be so insecure about himself that he would rather trust a stranger’s capabilities than his own.

Being a catastrophe of a person is part of Astarion’s character journey. Not only does he have to reclaim his personhood, he has to learn how to depend on his own brain again and I think that's such a painfully beautiful, important message Baldur’s Gate 3 sends.

Because healing isn’t pretty. Nor is it easy.

You’re not alright the moment you’re free of whatever horrors you had to live through—and that’s ok! There’s time and room for you to adjust.

And the moment Astarion feels more or less safe within his new environment, when he’s fed and treated like a person worthy of respect and consideration, his insights, skills and perception are crucial assets to the group.

Astarion knows his art and literature, and although his little remarks are unhinged at times, he's genuinely witty. Even his objections are, considering the circumstances, absolutely legitimate.

Personally, I love seeing Smooth Brain Astarion become more and more secure in his judgement the more Tav/other companions trust and support him.

Astarion is smart, his brain’s just been stewed for nearly 200 years.

#baldur’s gate 3 #bg3 #baldur’s gate iii #astarion #astarion ancunin #bg3 astarion #astarion headcanons #smooth brain astarion I will defend you until you can do it yourself #trauma can give you literal brain damage #of course he's a little eccentric #tw: trauma #tw: abuse #smooth brain astarion

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marimosalad · 3 months

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Batstarion doing Astarion things

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mlarty · 4 months

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"Astarion's sweet brain, less wrinkled than the rest" well… 🤲

#baldur's gate 3 #bg3 #astarion #batstarion #fanart #smooth brain babe

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cheekylittlepupp · 4 months

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I am unwell...

#astarion #bg3 #astarion ancunin #baldur's gate 3 #mims posts ~#bg3 astarion #baldur's gate iii #astarion baldurs gate #baldurs gate 3 #one chance my smooth brain king pls only one #astarion screenshots

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vorestarr · 5 months

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so i noticed when playing the epilogue that illithid Tav wants to eat brains, but the specific part of the brain they want to eat depends on the character, so i looked through the parsed dialogue and compiled all of them!

which part of each brain a mindflayer Tav would savor:

Astarion: "Astarion's sweet brain may be less wrinkled than the rest, but you hunger for its teasing cells. His parietal lobe - which controls his sense of touch - will be an aphrodisiac in your maw."

Gale*: "You would save his temporal lobe for last, if you were to eat Gale. Language. Learning. Memory. He must have quite the fine example."

Halsin: "Every time Halsin speaks of balance, your thoughts cannot behave. You only dream of what his cerebellum tastes like, when it sends the signals to his vestibular system to keep him from wobbling."

Jaheira: "Weary Jaheira. Over time, her stresses may have shrunk her hippocampus, making its taste more intense."

Karlach: "You consider Karlach's brain stem - the stalk meant to regulate her body's temperature. Will it come pre-cooked?"

Lae'zel*: "Lae'zel's motor cortex - that which controls her fine movements - will be harshly disciplined. That will make her especially chewy - just how you like a cortex to be."

Minsc: "There are cruel rumours spread, that Minsc may once have suffered injury to his brain. You could set the slander right at last - tell the world every bite was perfect."

Minthara: "With all Minthara's hate, you wonder if her cerebro-spinal fluid will be bitter to sip?"

Shadowheart: "Think of Shadowheart's cerebellum, which controls her dextrous hands. Any ritual caster must have a tightly commanded hindbrain."

Wyll: "Wyll's frontal lobe, which processes his judgement and measured words, would be a delicacy befitting his nobility." (Or "fit for a Grand Duke" if that was his outcome.)

(*You can't eat god-Gale's or astral-projection-Lae'zel's brains.)

#astarion #gale #karlach #wyll #lae'zel #shadowheart #jaheira #minsc #minthara #astarion ancunin #gale dekarios #karlach cliffgate #wyll ravengard #meta #also this is so fucking funny to me that mindflayer tav calls astarion smooth brained #mindflayer tav thinks he's stupid like just comes out and says it like that #poor astarion #also not to reveal my day job but i find these brain part selections so funny #personally i would pick the frontal lobe for shadowheart and the prefrontal cortex for wyll #the parietal lobe for astarion is fine i guess but also the post-central gyrus specifically would be his representation of his own body #karlach i would argue should be the hypothalamus but brain stem is fine i guess #minthara should absolutely be the amygdala like come on it's right there eat her amygdala #i wouldnt change the others those are fine #bg3 spoilers

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vanilkaplays · 1 month

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#I had him read the crystal because the whole party was smooth-brained and he had the highest intelligence #no regrets #Baldur's Gate 3 #BG3 #Astarion #Baldur's Gate 3 gifs #BG3 gifs #gif

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seaofdaydreams · 13 days

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I lied. It was 7 pages. 🙃

#dadstarion #papastarion #damian #miri #bg3 astarion #astarion ancunin #elysia #art #wip #comic #hehe damian talks super formally and is a really good planner #takes after mom #miri is smooth brained and is happy to go along with whatever her big brother proposes the same way Astarion is like with Elysia #i headcanon dhampir children/living vampire children can live off both blood and human food #so they both succeeded in getting a snack hehe

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a-spawn-on-my-lawn · 1 month

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Travelling with Astarion

Based on a true event

Patreon | Ko-fi

#smooth brain #astarion #bg3 astarion #astarion ancunin #bg3 #baldur's gate 3 #baldurs gate 3 #myart #bg3 art #artists on tumblr #nalae #bg3 comic #bg3 fanart #bg3 memes #wyll ravengard #karlach cliffgate #travelling with astarion

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bloodlessdarling · 14 days

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awww such a beautiful man shouldn’t have to think so hard :(

love this screenshot, looks like using his brain hurts 😂

#smooth brain #bg3 #astarion #baldur's gate 3 #baldurs gate 3 #astarion ancunin #baldur's gate iii #bg3 astarion #astarion bg3 #baldurs gate astarion #baldurs gate 3 astarion

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dragon--sage · 2 months

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astarion 5 minutes after the nautiloid crash, shamelessly and obviously shopping around for a companion to manipulate:

"so, y'all single? or.........."

#that banter hits so different on a second playthrough!!!!#first time i heard it i remember being a little miffed b/c what an out of pocket question to ask hour (1) of knowing people #BUT IT ALL MAKES SENSE NOW :') perfect smooth-brain mastermind strikes again.#astarion #bg3

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bardic-inspo · 3 months

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Astarion just shouted "Shut that oversized chicken up!" To a. Hook Horror.

#stari baby your brain is so smooth #he also looked at a hole that had to be from a bulette and said “wow must be a big mole”#megh plays bg3 #astarion #bg3 #i'm having too much fun with their combat commentary this round

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strigital · 4 months

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when you can feel your brain start to slowly and menacingly shift to another hyperfixation, but you're not nearly done enjoying your current one, yet alas, there's no way to stop this wheel from moving onward, so you're on your knees pleading with your brain like:

#i was JUST getting into the swing of cyberpunk 2077 stuff #started reading the book and the outlining of the fanfic has been smooth sailing thus far #been sketchig like a madlad enjoying every second of it #and the daydreams!! while making playlists and sprucing up the pinterest boards!!#and guess what?#like a selfish lover just before we reach catharsis the asshole of a brain says 'nah sis it's bg3' time now #and like #thanks?? but why wouldn't you let the cycle move at a natural pace brain? qe would've gotten there eventually!#*sadly puts Johnnt and V down and looks at Astarion and the Tadpole Havers™*#well i guess it iz what it iz #it do be like that #🧠 🔫#do y'all also experience this or are you normal?

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invinciblerodent · 6 months

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i've blocked out the title of this mod I found as courtesy to the mod's maker, but jesus h christ

please say sike?

....... please say sike right now?????????????????

#halsin bg3 #halsin #baldur's gate 3 halsin #baldur's gate 3 #how the fuck else do i tag this #i'm afraid my brain is broken #maybe if I press my palms hard enough against my face i can smother myself before smooth!halsin would kill me in my sleep #the same mod also turns astarion into essentially a castlevania character too btw #there's also a “smoother gale” which uh. is a thing #i'm honestly not sure if I'm relieved or a bit grossed out that wyll was spared this.... weird treatment

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plaguedoves · 8 days

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So if you're a mindflayer and go to the epilogue party, eventually you have to resist (or not) feasting on your compainions. And when it happens with Astarion....

The game calls him a smooth brain. Its so silly. I love it.

#bg3 #baldur's gate 3 #astarion #astarion bg3 #astarion acunin #mind flayer #we love his smooth brain in this house

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cheekylittlepupp · 4 months

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Me on a daily basis: I can def pull Astarion, yeah easy. Also me: One chance Astarion please, I'm begging, one chance!!!! PLEASE!

#astarion #bg3 #bg3 rambles #im on my knees my smooth brain king #please #but yeah ill easily rizz him idk wym #mims posts ~

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vampire-caprisun · 29 days

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She likes to annoy him for attention

#bg3 #astarion #shes a menace #Doberman gf and white cat bf energy #shes just as needy as he is #by act 3 they become the most annoying codependent couple ever #two violent touch starved smooth brains experiencing love for the first time

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