Slash with his snake Clyde (?)

I love snakes sm

Never Again

Duff McKagan x Fem!Reader

Request: Bro Shawty, with your requests, can I ask for a Duff X reader, where the reader and slash are bonding over both having snakes, and duff gets all salty and jealous, and maybe the reader has to quietly (and embarrass themselves) by having to confess to Duff, idk i haven’t slept in a while

Notes: I think I completely misunderstood this. That's on me, though, and my lack of ability to understand things. But I did what I could with this idea. (It was an amazing idea!) If you don't like this, anon, I'm, really sorry! I did the best I could! It was fun to write, though, and again, this was a great idea. I hope you like it anyway! When you read this, please let me know! I want you to get to see it before it gets lost.

Warnings: Snakes! Lots of talk about snakes. Also, jealousy.

Word count: 1,332

“Wait,” Slash’s dark brown eyes widened. “You have a pet snake, too, Y/N?”

“Yes!” I giggled. “I’m serious! I’ll show her to you sometime. You can come over to my place sometime, or I’ll bring her to rehearsal tomorrow- you’d love her.”

“What’s her name?” Slash asked me. 

“Ivy,” I replied. “I don’t really know why I named her that. It seemed right at the time.”

Slash ran his large hand through his black, glossy curls. “I mean, I named my snake Clyde. So I don’t care.”

We both chuckled. I cocked my head to one side, studying the large, thick, green reptile slithering mysteriously around Slash’s forearms. 

“Ivy looks nothing like Clyde,” I concluded. “Not at all. She’s a lot smaller, and gray.”

I giggled. “I wouldn’t want a pet nearly as big as I was- especially if it was a snake!” 

Slash was smiling, looking right in my eyes. “You know, Y/N, you really don’t seem like the kind of girl that would like snakes.” 

I flashed him a quick wink. “You find I’m full of surprises.”

Slash looked past my shoulder at Duff, who had been watching us in annoyance. He did not necessarily look angry, but his eyes flickered, and his nostrils flared while he watched us. His mouth was drawn. He did not seem very angry- maybe withdrawn, or bored- but certainly not happy. 

“Duff!” Slash said. “Why didn’t you tell me your girlfriend liked snakes?” 

Duff shrugged one shoulder. “It never has come up.”

I continued to tell Slash the story of how I acquired Ivy, my pet snake. I was gifted her by my cousin, who had been very interested in snakes since she was eight years old. She bred them and sold them for reasonable prices- and made a sizable amount of money. It was from her that I got Ivy, as well as learned all the knowledge I knew about snakes. 

“That’s interesting,” said Slash. “I dunno- I’ve always been sort of into reptiles, I guess.”

Behind us, Duff sighed. “Y/N, did you have to talk to him about snakes?”

Slash and I laughed, but it was clear by the look in Duff’s eyes he was not teasing. 

“Duff knows me so well,” Slash chuckled. “He knows how much I love snakes. I can’t believe you didn’t tell me Y/N liked snakes, Duff. That really surprises me.”

Duff coughed dryly. “Nothing surprises me anymore.” 

Slash looked at me. “I want to see Ivy sometime. I bet I can tell what kind she is, if you don’t know.” 

I smiled. “I bet you could. You’re so smart!”

“Smart?” Duff remarked. “That’s debatable, if you don’t mind me saying.” 

I shot Duff a glare, while Slash raised his eyebrows high. I couldn’t tell if he was amused, shocked, or angered. 

“You just seem to know so much about snakes,” I told Slash, my voice a little dreamy. 

Slash blushed, smiling slightly. “I am a smart guy. Don’t let Duff fool you.”

Duff rose to his feet suddenly. Flipping his blonde hair slightly to show his attitude, he patted the top of my head. 

“Alright, darlin’,” he said. “Let’s go.”

I glanced at my watch. “It’s two,” I sighed. “Okay. Slash, come over whenever to see Ivy! You know you’re always welcome to come over any time.”

Slash winked. “I’ll keep that in mind.”

Duff looked mortified. His face turned deep red with anger and embarrassment. He tucked his arm tight around me, giving Slash a warning frown. I felt the tightness of his protective hold on my shoulders, ushering me towards the door and pulling me closer to his side. I looked behind at Slash. 

“Bye, Slash!” I tossed up my hand in a wave.

Slash waved, grinning. “Bye, Y/N. My little snake buddy.”

Duff tensed, rolling his eyes and moaning. He quickened getting me towards the door, as if we couldn’t get there fast enough. 

“My snake buddy,” Duff quoted, later, at the apartment. He shuddered. “I’m gonna hurl.” 

“He was just being nice,” I giggled. “But it was kind of cringey, wasn’t it?”

Duff rolled his eyes. He’d been in a really bad mood all the rest of the day, only speaking when he had something short and rude to say. He seemed to be in a particularly hostile mood towards Slash, who had always been his closest friend in the band before. Now, Duff lifted my long, crossed legs on the sofa, and sat down, resting them over his thighs. 

“Hey, you,” I said, taking his hand. I rested it against my chest, over my collarbone. “What’s the matter?”

Duff ran his hand over his face, then through his silky, blonde hair. “Nothing important,” he mumbled. 

I eyed him suspiciously. “But something,” I persisted. 

I wondered if I could get Duff to tell me what was wrong without nagging at him. But now, he rested his chin against his knuckles, staring off in the distance. He looked attractive- golden hair with dark-colored undersides inflated over his ears and flowing to his shoulders. I was content to stare at him, in love, forever and ever. But I remembered my attempt, and resumed my effort. 

“Hey, Duff?” I said, breaking the silence.

Duff gave me a side-glance. “What, Y/N?”

I took a deep breath. “Duff, have I ever done anything to give you any reason not to trust me?”

Duff chuckled, but it was tight and sarcastic. “I don’t know, darlin’. But you teetered on the brink earlier.”

I raised my eyebrows. “What?”

Duff snickered. “Do you think your cousin would give me a snake, too? That way, you and I would have something to talk about!”

I wondered what Duff was getting at…then I realized it. When I did, I tried not to laugh, but guessed this was a legitimate concern. 

“Duff, were you jealous because I was talking to Slash so much about snakes?” I asked him. 

Duff blushed, and looked taken aback. However, I knew that was why. 

“Well…..” his voice trailed off. I knew he was, but too embarrassed to admit it. 

“Oh, honey!” I loudly cried, bursting into laughter. “That’s just silly! Why would you ever worry about that?”

Duff shrugged. “I don’t know. I just…well, you and Slash have something cool in common. You and I don’t have a lot in common.”

I smiled softly at my boyfriend. “Opposites attract,” I reasoned. 

Duff was not amused- he still looked embarrassed and uncomfortable. I sighed. 

“I bet we have more in common than you think,” I told him. “I mean, we like the same kind of music and movies! Besides, we agree on important things. Things that matter.” 

Duff looked reassured. Then, he looked at me, a teasing look on his face. “But I’m not into snakes.”

I giggled, rolling my eyes. “Most people aren’t.” 

I sighed, stroking Duff’s hand as gently and lovingly as I could. “Duff, don’t you worry about a thing. Slash and I are just friends who happen to both like snakes. Nothing more, nothing less!

“But you,” my voice softened. “You’re my boyfriend. I love you so much, just the way you are. You don’t have to like or not like certain things to get me to love you! Be yourself, and I’ll love you anyway.”

I smirked at him. “Although, I rather like your being so jealous over me. It’s really attractive.”

Duff let himself chuckle. “Anytime, babe. Anytime.”

He looked at me with a soft look in his eyes. He lifted his hand to touch against my cheek, his fingertips stroking half-circles under my eyes. He didn’t return anything I said to him, but the look in his eyes, and the silence in the room, told me all I needed to know. 

“Hey, do me a solid,” he said. 

“Of course! Anything.”

He laughed, grinning wide. “Just don’t get Slash started talking about snakes again, alright?”

I giggled, nodding. “Never again, honey. Never again…..” 

Tagging my other GnR mutuals per usual: @kaylasixxrose @greeneyezblackheart @jack-spawn @therockywhorerpictureshow @metnroses

Slash w/ Clyde bc I’ve been exhausted but this man’s love for reptiles Heals me

I wish I’d drawn it cuddlier

Slash poses for a portrait with his pet snake, Clyde (L.A., California. 1984)

© Marc Canter; edited by me

Slash in a grumpy mood would be adorable then catching him venting to his snakes omg 🥺

Omg yess 🥺 the man loves his snakes so much 🥺

You would come home late from work, setting down your bag and keys and slipping off your shoes before stretching. You grumbled, finally happy to be home and went to find Slash.

“Slash! Baby I’m home!” You yelled, running up the stairs to see if he was in the bedroom. When he wasn’t there you headed down to the studio to see if he was working on music, but alas, he wasn’t there either.

As you stood there, trying to remember where else he could be, it came to you. The snake room. You ran back up stairs and into the designated snake room, where Slash was grumbling away as he watched his snakes.

“I don’t get it Clyde! Why can’t we just go back to what we used to do! Some real raw rock and roll!” He slumped in the chair he was sitting, crossing his arms as Clyde flicked his tongue at him.

“I know! I tried to tell him that but he wouldn’t listen!” Clyde then flicked his tongue and then hissed, now getting fussy.

“I fucking know! Don’t give me that shit Cylde!”

You knocked against the doorframe, startling slash as he almost fell out of his chair.

“Is Cylde your therapist now?” You walked over, slash pulling you into his lap before burying his face into your neck.

“No..I just had a bad day..”

You let his head, hands slipping into his hair as you reassured him.

The Stars Are a Part of Us: Different Speeds (Part 4)

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3

Tag list @izzysdenimjacket ​ @warrendemachokeme @awrestlinggirlwholoves80sbands ​ @smokeandmirrorz ​ @sodalitefully ​ @roger-taylors-car ​ @lost-in-the-80s @whisperess33 ​ @shawolat ​ ​@80snikki @rumoured-whispers

Warnings: Underage sex, drug use, drinking, implied violence.  18+ ONLY

Notes: Track #2 is by the sadly underrated Cowboy Junkies.  It was released in '93, and I wondered if I should include in a fic set in 1987, but then I realized this is fiction and there's no rules!   Yayyy!  It's such a killer song I had to add it.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ajtnaiLaJNQ

Checkout was at the ungodly hour of 11, and of course none of the band was anywhere to be found, just Karen perched on a chair in the lobby, still reading her book.  Love’s Surrender was the title of it, and Izzy snorted through his nose.  Surrendering was probably the last thing this uptight broad ever did.

“Fun night?” she asked, her eyes not leaving her page.

He shrugged.  “‘S’all right.”

She lowered her book.  “Heard you met Kasey.”

Izzy blinked.  “Uh, um, yeah.”

She rolled her eyes, exasperation pulling down her mouth.  “Oh, of course you don’t know her name,” she snapped.

“She didn’t know mine either,” he retorted.  “She thought I was Axl.”

Karen sighed.  “She blew him too.”

“Huh.  I thought he was with Velvet.”

Her eyes met his.  “Velvet insisted on it.”

Izzy furrowed his eyebrows.

“Hazing ritual.  She made Kasey suck him off in front of everyone, then he announced that Velvet was better at it.  Velvet always does the local talent dirty.”

Izzy closed his eyes.  “Fuck,” he breathed, “you bitches don’t take any prisoners.”

She gave him a hard look.  “You’re the wildest band in LA.  Did you expect angelic whores?”

Izzy frowned, then said, “You’re not just here because of us, are you?  You protect her from the other girls too.”

“No.   She’s everyone’s little sister, although I’d kill one of them for doing something to her.”  She narrowed her eyes at him again.  “I’m here because I think I need to be.  Cause if I didn’t, I’d be sitting this shindig out.  This is definitely my last rodeo.”

“This is your third tour, isn’t it?  You were with Def Leppard too.”

Her eyes widened, and Izzy nearly licked his lips in glee.  “Steve is Steve Clark.  I found out some dirt about you,” he smirked.

“Choose your next words very carefully,” she said in a low voice.

“You were a groupie.  Were you running naked through the hallways too?”

She stiffened, eyes widening and her face going pale, and for a second Izzy thought she was going to slap his face.  “No, I was trying to keep him from killing himself, you fucking asshole,” she gritted, then slumped down.  “I thought a blow job would put you in a better mood.  Guess you’re just a dick 24/7.”

“Sissy!” Celestia cried, flopping down on Karen’s lap.  

“Hi, Sis.  You and your beau doing all right?”

“Yeah,” Celestia answered, centering herself on Karen’s legs.  She was taller than Karen, and was nearly crushing her.  “Did I tell you he has an anaconda?”

Karen made a face.  “Celestia, I don’t need to hear about that.”

Celestia giggled.  “No, he has a snake!  His name is Clyde.  He has some bearded dragons too.”

Karen shifted in her chair.  “That’s lovely, Sis.  Who’s taking care of them?”

Celestia hung onto Karen’s shoulders.  “Uh, he says someone named Yvonne.”

Karen took a deep breath.  “Is that his girlfriend?” she asked gently.

“His ex.”

“Uh huh.  And she still has custody of his pets?”

Celestia nodded.

“Then she’s not an ex.  An ex would’ve poisoned them.”

“You think he still has a girlfriend?” Celestia gasped.

Karen shot another look at Izzy.  “I think they all do.  Probably a few kids they don’t know about too.”

Celestia leaped off Karen’s lap.  “Omigosh!  Slaa-ash!  Do you have any kids?”

Slash took a sip from a styrofoam cup and pulled his top hat down over his eyes.  “I don’t think so,” he muttered, throwing an arm around Celestia.

Izzy shook his head.  “You have a really cynical view of the world, don’t you?”

Karen snorted.  “I’m never wrong.”

Izzy took a drag from a cigarette.  “Actually, you are.”

“Is he still seeing Yvonne?”

“Hell if I know.  But I don’t have a girlfriend.  Mine got married.  And not to me.”

Karen looked down.  “I’m sorry.”

“Yeah.  You write a song about a woman, and she dumps yer ass when you’re drying out.”

“Was it ‘Sweet Child of Mine?’”

He shook his head.  “I co-wrote the music on that, but no.  I wrote ‘Patience’ for her.”

Karen’s eyes widened in amazement.  “You wrote ‘Patience?’”

He stood up and stubbed out his cigarette in the ashtray.  “Yeah.  And you’re wrong about something else too.  I’m not a dick 24/7, although you’ll never find that out.”  

Izzy leaned over his seat on the bus and looked down at Karen, still engrossed in her book.

“What do you do for fun on the road?” he asked her.

She didn’t look up.  “I’m having a love affair with my vibrator.”

“Oh, ha ha, smartass.”

She turned a page.  “You think I’m joking.  It’s Japanese and has different speeds.  I’ll never need a man again.”

Izzy didn’t say anything, but he could feel his eyes getting bigger.  Guess you’re not the prude I thought you were.

“Wow, that shut you up,” she chuckled, looking up at him.  “Are you bored on the road already?”

He nodded.  “I don’t get fucked up anymore, and that took up a lot of time, y’know.  I’m not scoring or getting drunk and now I have just…...time.”

“Yeah.  Well, I like to read, and being with my sisters.  Sometimes, I like to see the towns we’re in, get out of the hotel a little.  I like shooting pool.  I really like karaoke but I doubt if they have a lot of that here.  I’ve seen your itinerary and it wasn’t promising, they’ve got you out in Bumfuck most of the time.”  She knitted her eyebrows.  “You’re a guitarist, why don’t you play guitar?”

“That’s what I did last night.  I don’t know if I can do that every night.”

She cleared her throat.  “I’m sure there’s a Kasey in every town.  I doubt you’ll be bored for long.”

He shrugged.  “That does it for you?  Reading all the time?”

She looked up at him.  “I rather enjoy being bored.  There were many times I was on the verge of a heart attack, and I longed to be bored.”

“Steve kept you hopping, huh?”

She held his eyes for a long time, furious, then dropped her head.  “Yeah, he did.”  She looked up.  “Is that what you want, me to talk about him?  Fine.  I was in love, he wasn’t, end of story.”

He saw the pain etched in her face, and he let it drop.  He lit a cigarette and asked, “You’ve seen our itinerary?”

“Yeah.  The record company doesn't have a lot of faith in you, do they?”

He shook his head.  “They think we’ll be dead by the end of this week.”

“Those seem like good odds.  Where’s your record at?”

“At?”

“The top 100.”

“I dunno, 101 I guess.”

“Is it moving up?”

Izzy blinked. 

She sighed.  “Okay, how big was your record deal?”

“Two hundred fifty grand.”

She sucked air between her teeth.  “You know you have to recoup your costs, right?  I’m guessing you have a slew of lawyers and a bunch of court fees too.”

Silence.

“Izzy.  Have you talked to MTV?”

He shook his head.  “They won’t play our video.”

“You made a video?  For how much?”

“$75,000.  With Nigel Dick.”

“Ooh, you used a name.”

“That’s bad?”

“Yeah, cause he’s the only one who made money from it.”   She lit a cigarette.  “Izzy, are you aware you guys are broke?”

“We're getting a per diem.”

“You’re in the hole is what you are.  Who are you signed with?”

“Uh, Geffen.”

“Huh.  So just one man owns your ass.”

“So what you’re saying is that we’re in debt to the record company?”

“Yeah, big time.  I mean, Hoss, if your album tanks, you could be sued.”

He exhaled.   “How do you know all this?”

“Because I paid attention when the suits showed up.  I knew there had to be a reason for a record exec to leave his wife and kids to hump it all the way out to BFE to talk to the band.”  She lit another cigarette.  “”Pyromania’ started moving up the charts, and the suits came more and more frequently.”

“Def Leppard are millionaires.  I mean, their music sucks, but they made a shitload of money off of it.”

“It took them awhile to make it, though.  They had to pay back Mercury, plus they used Marilyn Monroe’s image in the ‘Photograph’ video and it cost them a bundle.”  She shook her head.  “Your attorney fees will keep you in the red for a while.  Especially if you keep playing these podunk towns.”

“Fuck.”

“Yeah.”  Karen took a drag.  “Well, maybe the record company is looking out for you.  They probably figure you can’t kill yourselves out here in the boonies.”

“IZZY!” Steven shrieked, slapping him on the back.  “Howya doin’, brother?”

Izzy smiled.  “I’m all right, man.  How are you?”

Steven was nearly hopping up and down in his dingy white hi tops.  “I’m so excited, man, we’ve got a gig tonight.  We’re gonna ROCK Canada, aren’t we, Izz?”

“You bet your ass, Stevie.”

“You!” Steven shouted to Karen.  “You, what’s your name?  Donna?”

“Karen.”

“Yeaah, Karen.  You really should fuck Izzy, girl!  He’s cool.  Like the coolest brother you could ever have.”

Izzy smirked.  “She says she doesn’t need a man, she got a device with different speeds.”

Steven looked horrified, then he grinned.  “Well, let him use it on you.”

Karen blinked, and Izzy cleared his throat.  “Dude, she’s not into that,” he said.

“Too bad.  Fuck, that girl I’m with is insane, man.  She ate that girl Kasey out last night for like an hour, man.  Then they sucked me off at the same time!  I’m living the dream, Izz.  I don’t want this tour to ever end.”  He hugged Izzy, then went back to his seat and snuggled up to a sleeping Absinthe.

Izzy raised an ornery eyebrow at Karen.  “So, different speeds, huh?”

“Absolutely not.  And you can’t borrow it either.”  Her eyes slid to Steven’s seat.  “Coke always make him like that?”

“Yeah, he takes a while to come down.  He’s pretty hyper to begin with.”

“Well, you should have a high energy set then.”

Izzy rested his arms on the top of the seat.  “You’ve seen us play.  What do you think?”

Karen fought a smile.  “You don’t suck.”

“Says the woman who traveled with Def Leppard.”

She gave him the middle finger.  “Keep it up, Hoss, and I’ll ram my Japanese precious where the sun don’t shine.”

Izzy puckered his lips and made obnoxious kissing noises, then said, “Promises, promises,” and flopped down in his seat.

Saorsa, Chapter 31

A/N  If it seems like these updates are becoming less frequent, it’s because they are.  I had high hopes of being ready to post the sequel by the time I got to the final chapter of Saorsa.  The only way that’s going to happen is if I slow the chapter updates down to a slow drip!

Rather than link to all previously posted chapters, I’ll just direct those of you wanting to catch up on your Saorsa-reading to my AO3 page, where the fic is posted in its entirety.

NOTE:  the end of this chapter is the end of the Happy Version of Saorsa, Arc 1.  If you read past this part, don’t get mad at me when you get to the end of Chapter 37!

Thank you to each of you liking and reblogging!  It does my little fanfic writer’s heart good.

The horses were exhausted from dragging the empty wagon uphill through the thick Highland mud.  Just past Loch Insh, the lead gelding went lame.   Pulling into the lee of a huge Scotch Pine, Jamie dismounted to check the animal.  His near hock was swollen and warm to the touch, but the horse could still bear its weight; just not the weight of the wagon and its driver.   Blowing raindrops off the tip of his nose, Jamie set to work unharnessing the team.  It was twenty miles to Lallybroch.  At this point, he was willing to crawl if need be.

Donas was a fractious animal at the best of times.  He coiled and twisted like a four-legged snake between Jamie’s thighs while he tried to lead the two draft horses.  To make matters worse, the wind was blowing through the abutting forest like the tines of a giant comb.  Without warning, a nearby tree branch broke with a snap and fell with a heavy thud.   All three horses spooked.  Donas reared, and Jamie found himself lying in the mud holding onto Lonnie and Clyde by the reins while his mount’s black hindquarters galloped into the distance.

***

Highlands roads had been infamous in his time for brigands and reivers.  The last thing Jamie needed was to have the profits of his toil stolen not ten miles from home, so when he heard approaching hoofbeats, he quickly hid with the horses in a dense thicket by the edge of the road.

A rider on a stout grey cantered by, his face occluded in the darkness.   Jamie waited a few minutes.   When the sound of retreating hoofbeats was nothing but the hammering of blood in his ears, he led the geldings back onto the road and turned again northward.

***

His legs ached, his feet were blistered from walking all night in his riding boots, and he was chilled to the marrow.  It was only another five miles to Lallybroch, but Jamie couldn’t take another step.  He was so tired, he didn’t hear the approaching hoofbeats until they were practically upon him.  By then, it was too late to hide.

“Beannachdan, neach-siubhail,” a gruff, familiar voice called out.

It was Murtagh, astride the same sweating grey cob Jamie had hidden from only two hours before.  Upon finding the Lallybroch wagon abandoned by the side of the road, the old caretaker had doubled back in the hopes of finding Jamie along the road.

“It gave us a mighty fright when Donas came back wi’out ye, lad,” Murtagh explained.

“Aye.  I must rest a spell, but I’ll make my apologies tae Claire when she wakes t’morrow.”

“There willna be rest fer ye t’night, mo ghille.   She needs ye.   Take my horse, and I’ll follow as I can wi’ the geldings.”

The look on Murtagh’s face flushed ice water into his veins, numbing his pain.  Without another word, Jamie leapt onto the cob and galloped towards Lallybroch.

***

Dawn was just beginning to gild the sky when the exhausted horse and rider clattered into the courtyard.  Not even bothering to wait for a stable boy to emerge for his mount, Jamie swung his leg over the pommel and leapt to the ground.  He nearly collapsed to his knees before struggling upright and tripping up the stairs into the house.

“Claire!” he yelled as he ran upstairs, eyes bloodshot and wide.

The house was silent as the grave.  He tasted the bitter acid of terror on the back of his tongue.

“Claire!” he tried again as he flung open the door to the laird’s bedchamber.   The bed sat empty, stripped of its sheets.  A bloodstain marred the middle of the snow-white mattress.  Air flew from his lungs as though he’d been punched.

He ran back into the hall, planning on finding Mrs. Fitz and shaking her until she explained where his wife had gone.  His wife and child.  Gone.

About to descend the stone steps, a faint noise brought him instead to the guest room he had occupied before his marriage.   Standing before the east-facing window and backlit by a brilliant sunrise was the most beautiful thing he had seen in his life.

Claire’s back was to the door, draped in the Fraser plaid she’d gifted him for Hogmanay.  She was swaying slightly from side to side, speaking so softly he had to strain to hear.

“… the rising sun always makes me think of your Da, little angel.  He’ll have to tell you the story himself, when he returns.  Dear god, may he come home to us safely.”

He must have sighed or made some involuntary noise, for his wife whirled around, a bundle of white cloth held to her chest.

“Jamie!” she shouted in amazement, startling a cry from the bundle.

“Sassenach,” he gulped, eyes jumping between her weary face and the source of the increasingly loud squalls that filled the room.

“You’re home!  Oh, thank heavens.”  She took in his appearance: exhausted, filthy and limping slowly across the expanse of floor that separated them.   “Are you alright?”

“Me?” he asked, incredulous.  “Aye, Sassenach.  I’ll do.”   He was close enough now that he could make out purple, wrinkled skin, split by the toothless slash that was surprisingly small for the amount of sound it emitted.

“Who’s this, then?” he asked tenderly, reaching out a shaking hand to rest first on his wife’s shoulder, then the squirming bundle.

“Jamie, I’d like you to meet… our daughter.”

“Daugh-ter?” his voice catching on the word.

“Yes,” she smiled at his thunderstruck face peering down at their child, who was quieting under the heat of his palm.  “She’s both impatient and stubborn, much like her Da, but she’s… well, she’s perfect, isn’t she?”

“Aye.  Aye, she is.  And ye, Sassenach?   Are ye alright?”  He kissed her tenderly, careful not to crush the babe between them.

“I am.  There’s the three of us now.”

***

Beannachdan, neach-siubhail - Greetings, traveler

mo ghille - my boy

Happy birthday Slash!

A/N: So this is a very cute and simple fic I wanted to write for Slash’s birthday, I hope you like it. Also thanks to @smokeandmirrorz for saving all my fic with his editing 

Steven was a very determinate guy, and he loved his childhood best friend Slash too much to not plan a birthday party for him.

The first person he went to was Duff. The tall bassist was still asleep when Steven shook him awake.

"What the hell, Stevie! What's wrong?" Duff grunted.

"We have to prepare a birthday party for Slash, it’s his birthday today and he's not here, so we can do a surprise party!" The drummer said all excited.

"Mhhh Slash is not a baby anymore, Steven!" Duff replied with a tired voice.

"I'm his best friend and so are you, we can't let him down!" He shook him once more, making the bassist fully wake up.

"Fine, what should we do?"

"You'll make the cake and I'll put the decorations up later. I need to find Izzy now!" Popcorn left the room and quickly knocked on the rhythm guitarist's door.

Duff sighed and accepted his faith, already going downstairs towards the kitchen.

Izzy opened the door, only to find a very excited Steven.

"I don't like that face."

"Izzy I need your help. It's Slash's birthday and I want to give him a snake, Bonnie needs a Clyde after all! But I don't have enough money. Can you do that thing and get us some more, please?" He blurted out.

"I don't sell anymore Steven. Also, a freaking snake! Are you kidding me?!" He replied annoyed.

"Then can you please convince the guy to lower the snakes price, you're good at that. Slash deserves a good present!" Steven made his infamous puppy eyes, trying to convince his friend.

"Okay okay. Just give me his number, I'll pick it up. If he bites me, I'll break your drumsticks!"

"Thank you, Iz. You're the man!" Steven smiled.

"What's happening here?" Axl asked confused, walking into Izzy’s room.

"Ax, I remembered I need to buy the booze for the party, can you put the decorations up? And also if Slash comes, keep him outside!" Steven explained.

"Wait party? Decorations? Slash? What are you doing Steven?" The singer asked, but the blonde was already out of the door.

"He's planning a surprise birthday party for Slash." Izzy said, shrugging.

"A surprise party? God Popcorn is like a 5 year old!"

"Yeah. I have to call a guy to buy a snake, see you later man!"

"Wait you have to do WHAT?!"

----

Steven came back fifteenS minutes later with a big bag full of booze.

"I'm back guys!" He said happily.

In the kitchen he found Duff putting a cake in the oven and Axl scribbling on a piece of paper.

"Hey Steven, do you like how I put up the decorations?" But before Popcorn could answer, the doorbell rang.

"Hey fuckers, I forgot my keys!" Slash said with a nervous laugh.

"Ax, you gotta distract him. Now!"

The singer looked like he was about to panic, then he got an idea.

"Close the kitchen and the living room door. I'll try to keep him in my room!" He said, as he opened the door.

"Hi Slash, I need you in my room. Mhhh to talk about our new song!" The redhead said, dragged Slash upstairs.

Ten minutes later, Izzy came back with a weird box with a few small holes in it.

"I made a compromise with him. You owe me your life!" He said jokingly.

"Thank you so much Izzy. Is the cake ready Duff?"

"Yes, ready and hot. Just like me!"

"Okay. I'll get the boys. AXL, SLASH GET INTO THE LIVING ROOM!" Steven beamed.

“There’s no need to scream Steven. What do you…” Slash stopped talking, as soon as he saw the decorations and the cake.

“Happy birthday fucker!” All the band said with a laugh.

Slash hid his face behind his curls, feeling a weird overwhelming happiness as he looked at his band and what they have made for him.

“That’s… wow. I’m speechless!” He said astonished.

“Well, it was Steven’s idea. So thank him.” Duff said.

“But you all helped me too, so it was team work! But it’s not over yet, you need to see something!” Steven added with a smile.

Izzy put the weird box in his hands, and Slash was pretty confused until he opened it and saw a familiar face.

“Hey there, you’re a snake! Bonnie will be so happy to have his Clyde!” Slash said with a huge smile. “How did you manage to buy it?”

“Popcorn knew somebody who was selling a snake and me and the guys added the money he needed.” Izzy explained.

“Wait so that was your compromise?” Steven asked surprised.

“We know how much our little Slasher loves his snakes. Maybe when we will become bigger, he can afford as many as he wants! But for now we wanted to help!” Axl said with a smile.

“Okay motherfuckers, let’s do a hug group, but this stays within us. I could see Steven waiting for this since we started talking!” Slash proposed, with his arms open.

The whole band jumped on him, hugging him tightly. Slash didn’t want to admit it, but it felt good and he was so grateful to have such good friends.

They all started drinking and made Slash blow his candles. He wanted his wish to be something important, not like a bottle of Jack or some chick.

Then it came to his mind that he really hoped that when they would become famous, they would still be this close with each other.

Yes, that was his wish: to be able to call these four idiots his friends, even after thirty years.

Eccentric

Pairing: Slash x Reader

Word Count: 962

Info: Partner fic to this moodboard! When it came to owning pets, you were... Eccentric. You supposed that it was lucky that a reptile veterinarian lived next door when your iguana seemed less than healthy.

You were rather… Eccentric when it came to owning pets. A lot of people presumed that you owned a cat or a dog whenever you discussed your beloved companion, but that wasn’t it. Rather, you owned a loveable iguana which pretty much had free roam of your small apartment. You loved the little guy with all your heart, since you pretty much had him in your life since you were little.

Your routine with him was something you never wanted to give up, but when little Godzilla refused to get up for breakfast, you knew immediately something was wrong. It was a sixth sense, really, and you thanked everything that influenced the universe that the guy living next door to you was an expert in reptiles – he had at least two snakes, and you knew he had a degree in animal biology. It took you a few moments before you were hammering on his front door, clutching Godzilla to your chest as you prayed that he was home. You could faintly hear some sort of music, so you figured he was at least somewhere in the flat.

Relief flooded your veins as the door opened to reveal the man, a ball python wrapped securely around his neck. Although his locks hid his eyes, you knew he was watching Godzilla, and you held him out to him with a pleading look in your eyes.

“He wouldn’t get up for breakfast, and it was his favourite too,” you breathed out, blinking back tears at the thought you may have done something to harm your companion. Without really questioning it, he reached out and lifted the lizard from your arms before he motioned with his head to follow him into his apartment. While the apartment was small, it was clear that he kept it spotless for the sake of the animals that kept him company.

“Sit down. Just mind Clyde, he’s been feisty in his tank today,” he murmured as he set Godzilla down on the table before he vanished into another room, only to return in his lab coat and he had replaced the snake with a stethoscope. You felt a little more at ease at the sight, and you knew you had made the right call in visiting him.

It was a tense few minutes as you watched him inspect Godzilla, only to blink when he started to laugh softly and stepped back, turning to face you with a grin. His hand gently scratched at Godzilla’s chin, and you licked your bottom lip nervously as you waited for him to tell you what was wrong with the little guy.

“You know iguanas are stubborn, right?”

“Of course I do, what kind of owner do you-“

“He just didn’t want to get up. You know, he wanted to stay in bed for longer.”

You blinked, and you watched as Godzilla lazily stood up and wandered away from his hand, only to plop back down and settle himself down to get comfortable. You snorted, a hand raised to cover your mouth as you started to laugh yourself, unable to stop yourself. Obviously, you had overthought the problems and had panicked, and hadn’t thought about the fact that, like you, Godzilla had the days he wanted to just stay in bed.

Slash merely smiled at you and picked up Clyde, letting him roam across his hands as he watched you carefully before he sat down beside you, shrugging.

“I don’t blame him. Me and the snakes like to chill out in bed, too,” he mused, and you snorted softly at the thought of the curly-haired man laid in bed, covered in the reptiles he kept in his apartment. It was a pleasant thought, and you immediately wondered what it was like to also be laid in his bed, Godzilla curled up between you. Perhaps it was an indulgent thought, but it was one that that you stored in your mind for when you wanted to think about in detail in the future, given that the pair of you had barely uttered more than customary greetings to each other when you saw each other in the hallway. But this one could be one that you were willing to keep – and Godzilla seemed to be just as happy with a similar thought as he situated himself between you both, his head resting on your thigh.

“… So, he seems to be happy enough to see you,” you murmured, as your hand gently scratched Godzilla’s cheek in thought before you turned to smile at Slash. He seemed to be in thought while looking at you, and eventually he just shrugged and leaned back in his seat.

“Clyde seems happy to see you too – he hasn’t stopped staring at you since you sat down, and not like he wants to eat you,” he chuckled softly before he brushed his curls out of his eyes, and you instinctively held your breath as you actually made direct eye contact with him. It wasn’t long before your mind screamed at you to hug him in gratitude, which you immediately did. Perhaps the relief of knowing that Godzilla was actually safe made you braver than you were, but you moved to press a kiss to his cheek, only to freeze when you realised that Slash had turned his head and you instead caught his lips when he turned his head.

“Oh,” you breathed out, your cheeks flushed red as you tried to process just what happened exactly, and then you blinked and you were unable to stop yourself from letting out a nervous laugh before you found yourself pressed against his chest, your lips joined once more.

Perhaps you hadn’t intended to overreact with Godzilla, but you knew then that you didn’t regret it.

Snake Boy

Summary: Really a collection of little slice-of-lifes from Slash’s POV regarding three of his snakes

Word Count: 730

AN: Inspired by procrastination from longer fanfics, online school and sleep. Also this article from REPTILE magazine.

Clyde

He was just sitting in the window. The sign advertised an anaconda, but all I saw was a pile of shavings. It took a lot of patience and a lot of crouching down beside the tank quietly before the shavings eventually moved. He was in there, all right. I didn’t consider myself an expert on anacondas just yet. A snake enthusiast, for sure. I could tell the difference between most species, but only from pictures I’d seen. An anaconda… that was something a lot more special. And definitely a lot more expensive than what I could afford. Nearly $70, and that didn’t include the tank or the supplies necessary to take care of something so particular. 

I didn’t have the money at the time. But with enough gigs and odd jobs, scrimping and saving, visiting every day to make sure he was still there, I walked out of the pet shop with the massive tank in my arms and my anaconda wrapped around my neck and shoulders. If he wanted to, he could have given me a squeeze and I would drop dead on the sidewalk. Anacondas definitely had the power to kill a man, but why would they want to unless threatened? He stayed still on my shoulders, making me feel a little like Alice Cooper the whole way home. He could have gone back into his tank, and later in the cage I built, but I liked being around him and I think he liked being around me. 

Bonnie

Axl was crashing at my place for a while. Being that he wasn’t green and/or scaley, he didn’t get the finest treatments living with me came with. Snakes got comfy cages; Axls could sleep on the floor. 

The cages might have been comfy, but given the fact that I couldn’t afford a spare bed or even a couch, it wasn’t as if they were perfectly built. Or even well-built. It could even be said that there was a hole in one of the cages and the retic living inside could easily push aside the piece of wood closing the hole and come out. Sue me.

I didn’t mind having my sweeties join me in the bedroom. Since it was a little warmer than the rest of my place, they were most likely to come in there. It was my bedroom, so I didn’t exactly mind. We were used to each other. We knew each other. They wouldn’t lie in a place where they would get slept on and I would do my best to keep to one sleeping position and not roll over onto one of them. 

Of course, my sweet little retic didn’t always come into my room.

One night, when I wasn’t sleeping well, I woke up to see her curled up next to Axl, surveying this ginger intruder curiously. She wouldn’t have bit him, not in a million years. Axl didn’t know that. A fact I used to my advantage.

“Axl, whatever you do, don’t move,” I whispered, just loud enough to wake him, but not to startle my sweetie. I could hear his strangled gasp clearly, but he did as I said. Didn’t move a muscle. Just watched her with a terror I’ve never seen. For a full hour. After that, I just couldn’t contain my laughter anymore. I scooped her up and got her back in the cage with no harm done to anyone. Except for maybe Axl, who swore up and down he would never sleep on the floor again.

Pandora

There was a camera in front of me and a girl to my right. I only gave them that much though before my attention got re-focused to the true apple of my eye climbing over my arms. I’d thought it was a girl when I first got her, but a much more thorough checking revealed what I’d missed the first time around. 

He crawled over my gloves, exploring the room quietly from the confines of my gentle hold. He’s a total sweetheart. Sweeter than most of the people I get to be around. He and all his siblings, as I call them. I’ll be gone for months on the road, but as soon as I get back, the pang of missing them truly hits me. They may be the worst fear to some, but to me, they’re my greatest joy.

Snakes and Shakes

Situation: Pre fame Guns and Roses gets all sick at the same time right before their first gig as a band and you end up having to care for five men/puppies all by yourself.

I messed around with the timeline and the living situation a little bit, so forgive me and enjoy!

As you woke up in the morning, you noticed how the house seemed oddly quiet. Normally, at least one of your five roommates would be doing some sort of loud activity at ungodly hours that would wake you, the neighbors and the whole street up. You decided to appreciate the good night’s sleep and took it as a good omen, getting dressed with the leather jacket you stole from Izzy, straightening your long (H/C) hair and even having the time to perfect your eyeliner, before making it downstairs.

You quickly realized when you were in the downstairs common area that the good omen was actually a distress signal as Axl threw up right in front of you onto the floor as he laid on the couch seemingly oblivious to your presence. “Axl !” You exclaimed loudly making the redhead fall of shock right onto the dirty vomit-covered floor. He managed to drag himself onto an area of the floor that was mostly clean and lean himself against the wall. “Jesus, Y/N, you fucking scared me."

He looked like shit, vomit on his face, his pale skin even paler and with a green undertone

“Axl, what the hell did you drink last night to make you throw up like this? Don’t lie to me, you have a gig today.” You were more like a babysitter than a actual roommate, and never did you feel this more than when Axl said, “I didn’t drink anything, I promise Y/N. Slash’s snake bit me last night and I got some weird tropical disease.”

“You know, Slash’s snakes are just ball pythons, Axl. They aren’t venomous, they just strangle their food.” You rationally explained to Axl how snakes work, a conversation you and Slash had had to have 15 times since they had all moved in together.

“But, Y/N, Slash filled a cup up with Jack Daniels and told me it was Coca Cola so I drank it all and it burned for 2 hours, so I don’t trust him. I know his snakes made me sick and there’s nothing you can do, just let me die!” Axl, being as dramatic as ever, cried a little as you had a mini breakdown in your mind about how you were going to convince this grown man to calm down about a snake. You grabbed one of Duff’s shirts from the couch and wiped the vomit and tears from Axl’s face, before grabbing his hand and pulling him up to take him to his room.

As you and Axl walked slowly to his room, with your arm around his shoulder, you heard vomiting noises coming from Slash’s and Duff’s room. “Axl, go lay down in Steven’s room, it’s closer than yours. I’ll be back to check on you in a minute.” He dazedly nodded and opened Steven’s door as you knocked on Slash’s door.

“Slash, Duff, everything alright in there?” You heard both Slash and Duff grunt as if they were on their deathbed and you decided to open the door. The sight you saw there immediately made you wish you hadn’t.

On top of the boys usual mess of clothes, food wrappers and empty alcohol bottles say two separate but equally gross piles of vomit. You backed against Duff’s mattress, the furthest point away from the sick liquid, and sat down on the side. The pale green blonde figure lying on the mattress weakly moaned, “Y/N, I need some vodka, this is a killer hangover.”

You chuckled, feeling Duff’s forehead. It was like a fire and your eyes widened. If the entire band got this sickness, there was no way they’d play the concert tonight. The concert would finally give them enough money to actually pay 50% of the rent instead of the usual 10% that they had managed not to spend on every sin in the world. You moved over to Slash’s side and brushed his hair away from his face.

“Y/N, what are you doing?” Slash sleepily asked.

“Just checking up on you, honey.” He laughed a little at the affectionate nickname which you most often used to tease them but now was completely serious. If this was worse than a simple flu, then you’d have to sell a kidney to get these men to a hospital with no insurance. And Slash, like Duff, was burning up. Great.

You assured Slash everything would be okay before going to check on Steven. Opening the door you saw Steven and Axl laying on one mattress, and green. You decided to get everyone glasses of water from the kitchen and hopefully whatever safe meds lay around.

As you went over to the kitchen, you saw Slash’s python, Clyde. It too was laying down, eyes half closed like its owner. You touched it and it stayed still, the only sign of life being its tongue moving out of its mouth. You couldn’t help but think if Axl was right, but you decided to question them all later. You grabbed the glasses of water and 4 Advil and returned to the rooms.

They laid around the house for the next two days. You quickly found out that Izzy was the only one that wasn’t sick and kind of forcefully recruited him into being your assistant. Together, you restrained Steven from going out to a party, Axl from beating up Slash when he remarked that Axl and his snakes could be twins if Axl had a sunnier disposition, and Duff from playing his bass at the concert by himself with no other members.

Speaking of the concert, you never forgot the asshole club owner who yelled at you for canceling it and told you that you should pay him back by being one of his dancers. You’d worked at strip clubs before, that was where you had met the boys, but the sleazy way in which he said it made you and Izzy wanna beat him up over the phone. And then once Izzy met him in person, well he got beat up in real life as well and gave the boys the 500 dollars for the concert as promised.

The guys were eventually all back to their old selves within the next day or so, and you decided to investigate the cause of the illness, thinking it would be something like Duff forgetting to cook the meals and eating raw meat, a thing he had done when Axl had asked for his burger to be extra rare. When you asked Duff about dinner, he said nothing was wrong except one thing.

“Well, Slash’s snake kinda slithered around in the leftover lasagna after I took it out of the freezer and I let him have some of the meat, but Y/N it was in there for only like a min.”

Goddamnit Axl was right. Not about everything, which brought you some sanity, but the disease did come from one of Slash’s snakes.

That 500 dollars first went to buying Clyde a new escapeproof cage and getting a library card to look up the exact disease with Slash. He found it rather quickly around with 10 other books which you carried all the way home. You smiled for the next seven days as he told Axl all the snake trivia he could remember as Axl got more and more angry.

“Y/N, I’m gonna punch Slash this time, I mean it-“

“Did you know that a snake’s heart can move around in it’s body to make room for food, Axl?”

“Really? Like down to its tail? That’s fucking messed up, Slash.”

You also smiled because with the 500 dollars they paid the rent and also made posters for their next concert and their first as a whole band. You helped them tape posters to every street pole and wall they came across as well as all over the club where they were performing, which had a nice owner who gave them 200 in advance as well as 500 after.

And you smiled the biggest as you looked at your boys from the crowd. They were killing it and the audience was dancing and holding up their lighters at the right moments. As they launched into their new song, “Welcome to the Jungle,” you heard a girl say, “These guys are so fucking good, I think they’re gonna be stars.”

And at that moment, you thought they would be stars too, as the bright light shone on them like angels and Axl’s voice drowned the rowdy audience out to nothing but silence.

Random GNR Fun Facts

@motley-queen Anyone please feel free to add to this and correct anything that's incorrect. -Slash really likes snakes. He had two named Clyde and Cranston that were mentioned on the Appetite for Destruction liner notes. -Axl gave Steven the nickname 'Popcorn' when introducing him at their concert at the Ritz in 1988 because of the way his hair bounced around while he played. -Steven loves pugs. -Axl recorded Appetite for Destruction line by line. -GNR used to be friends with Mötley Crüe and one of their first big tours was opening for them during their Girls, Girls, Girls tour. -Axl and Izzy are both kind of reclusive, so they didn't hang out with the Crüe much. I believe Steven and Nikki are still friends now. You may have noticed in the Dirt movie Slash and Steven were present at the gathering where Nikki died. -One time Steven got kicked out of a bar for being too drunk and he got mad an punched a light and broke his hand so he couldn't play and Fred Coury from Cinderella had to fill in for him for a while. -Axl was late to their label signing. The band spent a long time looking for him and eventually found him on the roof, meditating. -Axl's feud with Vince Neil happened because Izzy had made an inappropriate comment about Vince's wife, Sharise. Axl decided he had to get involved and defend his bandmate. Izzy apologized to Vince afterward, but Axl and Vince kept threatening to fight each other but never did. -An early friend of the band (maybe Barbie Von Grief) said that Axl talks a lot about people who've hurt him, which is why he spent so much time badmouthing Slash after Slash quit. -Axl and Izzy are actually country hicks from Indiana. -In the albume liner notes for Use Your Illusion they have "fuck you St. Louis" in reference to the St. Louis riot. During Rocket Queen, there was a guy with a camera who was taunting Axl and Axl told the security to take the camera and they didn't, so he launched himself into the crowd to take it himself. He then got back on stage and announced "thanks to the lameass security, I'm going home" and smashed the microphone on the ground and left. Fans rioted because the show was cut short and Axl was blamed and GNR was banned from playing St. Louis again. There's video of this incident. -All of them abused drugs, but Steven had the worst problem. It got to the point where the rest of the band wanted to kick him out because he couldn't clean up his act, but they didn't have an explicit reason to. The last concert they played together was Farm Aid in 1990. Steven tripped and fell while coming onstage. They did two songs, Civil War, which was new and they had only rehearsed it in the studio a few times, and a UK Subs cover Down On the Farm, which Steven had never heard before. Duff clapped the beat for him and Steven managed to play the song (well enough that I wouldn't have known he'd never heard it). He happened to be going through a period of trying to get clean (which, like Nikki Sixx he tried and failed many many times before finally getting clean in 2010) and he was super sick from withdrawal when they fired him. They made him come in to record Civil War and he could barely get through the song (the final version of his part had to be heavily edited to be a cohesive song) because he was so sick. They claimed it was evidence that he was too jacked up to be in the band and fired him. -Axl was married twice. Once to Erin Everly, who Sweet Child O' Mine is about, and once to Stephanie Seymour who appeared in the November Rain music video (I believe that's where they started dating) and likely many of the songs on Chinese Democracy are about her (and/or Slash). In both relationships, they were abusive to each other. -I believe it was Stephanie that Axl proposed to by threatening to shoot himself if she didn't marry him. -The bromance is strong in this band. Slash/Axl, Slash/Steven, Slash/Duff, Duff/Steven, and Axl/Izzy were all BFF pairs. -Axl and Izzy were actually BFFs from school. Steven and Slash were too. They met when Steven fell off his skateboard and Slash came and asked if he was ok. -Axl's singing career began as a child when he sang in the church choir. -Welcome to the Jungle was written about when Axl left home and went to New York City (it might have been LA, but I think it was NYC the first time) and got off the bus and as he tells it in the intro from the Ritz '88 concert "this little old black man comes up to me and my friend with our backpacks and about ten bucks between us and he goes, 'do you know where you are? you're in the jungle, baby, you're gonna die!" -Axl wanted real sex sounds for Rocket Queen, so that's him and Steven's girlfriend Adrianna (which Steven was pissed about). -Their first tour together was known as the Hell Tour. Duff had a band with some shows scheduled up in Seattle (where he's from) so they were going to play them but their car broke down and they had to hitchike there and leave all their equipment behind. -They at one point lived in what was essentially a garage with a loft. -Axl has bipolar disorder and is generally a very intense person. He's described as both a huge asshole and an incredibly sweet, caring guy. He's also actually very quiet and shy. -For example, one time when Steven overdosed and was in the hospital, Axl was the only one who came to visit him. -One time Axl was with some girls and wanted to go to one of Mötley Crüe's parties, but he was too shy to ask so he sent the girls and Nikki decided to let the girls in but not Axl just to be a dick. -The start of the whole "Axl is a control-freak dictator" thing is from when they toured with the Rolling Stones. Axl was so impressed with how the Stone's tour was such a well-oiled machine and he wanted GNR to be like that (I think it was GNR that Metallica said they learned everything what not to do from touring with GNR). Suposedly Axl forced Slash and Duff to sign away all the rights to everything GNR to Axl or else he refused to go on stage. They quit shortly after that. -Freddie Mercury and Elton John were Axl's idols (hence all the grandiose piano songs). -At Donington in 1988, two fans were killed during their set. That show is where some of the footage for the Paradise City music video comes from. The band didn't find out until afterward and they were devestated. The crowd had been rowdy and they could see people were getting injured and Axl had been trying to get the crowd to calm down, but the two bodies weren't found until after the show (it had been raining so much it was super muddy and they were partially buried in the mud). -Izzy is basically a recluse and no one knows where he is or what he's doing. But he does have a solo career. I don't think he ever wanted to be in a band as big as GNR became. -Slash and Duff founded Velvet Revolver together. Sebastian Bach auditioned, but they rejected him because they said they sounded like Skid Roses (so they went with Scott Weiland and sounded like Stone Temple Roses instead). -The first ideas for the music for November Rain came to Axl while he was on a bus in the early-mid 80s. -They didn't used to have a setlist. Axl would just pick songs based on the mood of the crowd. During the Use Your Illusion tour this meant that all the backing musicians and dancers had to be just waiting backstage for their song to be announced. -Axl threw ridiculously extravagant afterparties on the Use Your Illusion tour. -Slash proposed the original lyrics for Paradise City: "where the girls are cute and they've got big titties" -Right Next Door to Hell was written about Axl's neighbor who claimed that he attacked her with a wine bottle and there was a lengthy legal battle about it. -They were an overnight sensation basically. The Welcome to the Jungle music video was played on MTV at midnight or 3am or something ridiculous but fans loved it so much they kept calling in and asking for it to be played again. -They used to be glam in their early days. Steven argued against it became the makeup would run in his eyes while playing.

Pinball & Motels

Clyde Logan x Reader

Prompts: 154: “There’s only one bed...” + 132: “I haven’t slept for four days...”

Warnings: None.

Words: 1,904

A/N: I love cheesy/cliche romantic tropes! Haha, thank you! I love this. You might think the place they visit sounds unrealistic and weird but actually, I visited a place exactly like that this summer! It was super fun. @joeybelle I know you don’t prefer reader inserts, but I hope you enjoy this! 

“It’s already three in the morning, Clyde. We’ve still got a long ways to go. I think we should just stop at a motel or something.” Taking his eyes off the road for a moment to glance over at you, he looks drained. Eyelids drooping and the rims of his eyes bloodshot, it would be clear to anyone that the both of you are tired. “I can see what’s up ahead at the next exit and call to make a reservation? Better than showing up and hoping they have rooms.”

“Sure,” Clyde yawned, an obvious sign that this is a needed decision. Driving any further tonight, even with taking turns, is just a reckless idea. Running a hand through his hair, Clyde’s eyes bulge as he tries to wake himself up. His actions make you quietly chuckle, turning down the radio to call a motel you found on Google that’s a few exits down the highway.

Leaning against the counter with a big smile spread across your lips, you wait for Clyde to put the money a customer just gave him into the cash register before he turns back to you, wiping down the counter with a rag. “So...” drawing out the word, your voice laced with a tone of mischievousness. He looks at you, the corners of his lips drawing up into a tiny smile.

“So?” he draws out his words, obviously playing along.

“I know this is kind of random, but I was thinking... road trip: this weekend. What do you say?” Clasping your hands together and standing tall with confidence in your plan, you knew you’d need Clyde’s help regardless of if he wanted to participate.

“A road trip? Like... just, you an’ me?” Smiling, you nod in response. Clyde lets out a short hum before going silent, focusing on the counter as he wipes down the part you’d previously been leaning against. “Where to?”

Slamming the truck’s passenger side door shut as you hop down onto the ground, you glance at the piece of equipment you guys are hauling back to West Virginia. Standing still, Clyde stares at you from the sidewalk. “Are you sure it’s safe to leave this here all night?” Looking from the secured item hidden underneath a tarp you were now grateful he’d suggested bringing, your worried face meets Clydes.

Sighing, Clyde shrugs. “No? But we could at least get a few hours of rest before heading back down the road. Plus, ya already called the front desk. I don’t think they’d be too thrilled to know they’re losin’ a customer when it seems like we’re the only folk here.” Looking around the parking lot, it’s true. The place sure seems deserted, and with the darkness enveloping everything it only furthered the appearance of a ghost town. A brisk breeze sweeps through your dress, a shiver running down your spine. “Come on, it’ll be fine.” Waving for you to follow him, Clyde carries the duffle bag you guys had brought in case of this.

Standing in front of the multipurpose building, you smile in excitement from knowing what’s inside. A gas station, slash restaurant, slash arcade. Who would’ve thunk this to even exist? Whoever it was, you’d claim them a genius.

The left corner of Clyde’s lips curl inward in a frustrated manner. Great. He’s still mad. “You ready?” You ask excitedly, shaking a little to try and get him excited too. After all, he is the reason you’re here. Swiftly turning around and walking toward the door, you look over your shoulder at Clyde in a teasing manner. No way he’ll stay outside the whole time. Plus, you’ll need Clyde’s help to move the item you came for.

The bell hanging by the door chimes as you enter, an older man a few yards away perks up behind the counter, raising his hands with a smile on his face. “You must be the lil’ lady who called about buying one of my ol’ beauties.” Rounding the counter, he approaches with a gentle smile and a welcoming air about him. “An’ you said this is a gift, right? Come on, follow me.” The man puts a gentle hand on your shoulder and the bell chimes again, drawing your attention to it. You were right, of course, Clyde finally decided to join you. Waving him over, he reluctantly makes his way over to you and the old man who’s looking curiously at Clyde.

“This is Clyde, I’m actually buying it for him as a late birthday present!” The man’s mouth forms an ‘O’ as he nods, his smile getting brighter as he motions for Clyde to follow.

“What a sweet surprise! That’s just splendid. I can already tell ya that she’s a keeper,” the man winks at Clyde as you follow him toward the back, passing by arcade machines you’d seen in Dave and Busters awhile back. Walking into the very back room, one of the machines has a sign taped on it claiming it’s off limits. Turning around, he rests his hand on the machine as he rubs the side gently. “I had to put the sign up cause you know how kids are, always fiddlin’ around with stuff that ain’t theirs and causin’ mischief. Gosh, I remember those days. Cheryl and I used to go to the arcade over in Marion and we’d play all afternoon, sometimes we’d go to the drive-in theatre to watch a film. You know how it goes.”

Listening to the man’s thoughts, you smile at the stories he rambles on about. “I’ve got this one here up for sale, and I got three other of em’ in that side room over there. Whichever one ya want, I’ll give it to ya’, same price.”

“Is it okay if we take a look at them?” Wanting Clyde to pick out his present, you were simply happy to partake in this journey and do something nice for your boss and closest friend in Boone County.

“Oh, sure. Go on an’ take a look at em’ all. I’ll even give you some quarters on the house since yer buyin’ one of the machines.” Patting the machine his hand had been resting on, you look over at Clyde with a smile.

The lady at the front desk didn’t seem unfriendly, but most certainly in an unpleasant mood. Maybe she’s tired too. Handing over your credit card, the lady takes it and places a keycard in your hand while returning your card with it. “The room is to your left and at the end of the hallway on the second floor. Breakfast is at five.” Nodding, you both thank the lady and head over to the stairs, making your way to the room.

“Thank you for yer business, Doll. I’ll be right back with the cart so don’t you worry. I hope this does yer bar well, Clyde!” Turning to face the man in question, you lean against the counter waiting for the old man to grab the cart, smiling teasingly at Clyde.

“So? Are you still mad at me?”

Clyde makes a face as he shakes his head, baffled. “What? No. No. I was never mad at you, Y/N.”

“You’re a bad liar, Clyde.” A hearty chuckle escapes you with his failed attempt.

Clyde glares at you, finally relinquishing as a smile spreads across his lips. “Well, I certainly owe ya for goin’ through all this trouble for me. Gettin’ me a pinball machine for the bar… that’s, real sweet of ya’. Thank you.”

Face breaking into a toothed grin, you can’t help but feel the desire to hug him. “You’re welcome. I know we were talking about ways to liven the bar awhiles back, and I knew your birthday was coming up so I thought ‘why not?’ Plus, it wasn’t too too expensive. You can always repay me later, though I don’t expect you too.”

“You don’t expect me too? How come?” Clyde’s brows furrow slightly at the words, hand snaking into his pocket as his body tenses up.

“Clyde- I’m not- I don’t mean it like ‘oh, I don’t think Clyde will pay me back,’” you mimic in a low voice with hands on your hips. “I meant that I don’t really want you to pay me back? I don’t expect that from you. Firstly, it’s a gift, for your birthday. And secondly, you already do enough for me Clyde. You gave me an ally in an unfamiliar place when I needed one. You gave me a job, and now, you, at least- I hope this isn’t too forward- give me friendship.” Hand coming up to rub up and down his arm comfortingly, Clyde relaxes at the touch.

“Mmm… I don’t think that’s too forward. I would’ve considered us friends for awhile now, actually.”

As the old man returns with the cart to help move the pinball machine outside and into the back of the pickup, you mumble quietly to yourself. “That’s good to know.”

Sliding the keycard through the scanner, the door pops open. Pushing into the room, your panic begins to rise. Clyde moves around you to set the duffle bag on the bed before noticing your frozen stance. Glancing back at you, his brows furrow in confusion. “There’s only one bed…”

“Uh…” Clyde’s lips part as his hand comes up to scratch his beard for a moment, taking a glance over at you.

“I-it’s okay. I mean, I thought they told me there was a pull-out couch too, but… this is fine.” Your voice comes out sounding less confident than you’d intended, but then again, could you really be confident in trying to justify sleeping with your boss?

“I-I can go ask for another room if ya’ want? They seem to have plenty open judgin’ by the cars in the lot.”

Shaking your head, you quickly retort, “No… it’s fine, Clyde. I mean, it’s already enough money, and well, it’s just one night, right?”

Nodding his head, Clyde stays silent as he unzips the duffle bag lying in front of him atop the bed. “I suppose… though I promise, I won’t do nothin’, I’m a gentleman.”

“I know, that’s why I don’t mind.” Shrugging, you give him a small, hesitant smile. “Plus, we’re friends, so it’s not too, too weird?” Clyde chuckles at this.

Both of you quickly getting ready for bed, slipping into your respective side of the bed. Facing him, you give him a small smile grateful for the way today went. “This was a good idea. Thanks for doing this, Y/N. I feel like I haven’t slept in four days!” Laughing, you know he’s just being dramatic. Clyde, for as long as you’ve known him, has always been one for dramatics.

“Then it most certainly was a good idea if you’re really that tired!” Both giggling like fools, the pull of sleep starts to draw you in. Settled in bed and content with how the day has gone, you turn off the lamp on the nightstand. “Goodnight Clyde.”

some slizzy for u! The one thing slash adores about izzy is that he has no problem with Slashs snakes. everyone else is kinda on the fence about them or just doesnt give a shit about them, but izzy is super chill about holding them if Slash needs to take a quick piss. one time Slash comes home to find izzy holding Clyde, who just gives a shrug and a " they got out of their cage, might as well hold them." for an explanation. Slash will give him a kiss for gratitude.

sorry this took me so long!

Izzy is the only one (other than Slash) that will feed them so if Slash is out for whatever reason Izzy makes sure that he gets Clyde fed somewhat regularly. 

Slash assumed that Izzy wouldn’t really care about his snakes at first, but Izzy had been interested in them before so he surprises Slash by being really open with questions about them.

Slash sometimes feels guilty that he doesn’t give Clyde enough attention, and Izzy picks up on it and tries to handle Clyde more often when Slash is busy.

Once Slash came home and Izzy had Clyde around his neck while he was playing guitar and it makes him really happy and he’s not sure why.

Also, Izzy would totally talk to them like you talk to a dog, and Slash thinks it’s the cutest thing ever. There are four things he loves; it’s his snakes, guitars, booze, and Izzy- and now he gets to have all of those things with him if he wants. 

Clyde gets out a little bit to often and Izzy will spend an hour helping Slash look for him if he needs to (Axl conveniently decides to leave the house whenever this happens).

They’re making out on the couch once and Izzy pushes Slash back when he remembers the snake is halfway around Slash’s arm, ‘Wait, don’t hurt him,’ and jumps up to put Clyde back in his cage. When he comes back Slash has a huge grin on his face.

Duff teases them that Clyde is like their adopted child.

What Fresh Hell (pt. Two)

Characters: Clyde Brenek X OC

Warnings: none yet ;)

Notes: please let me know if you want to be tagged :)

—————————————

Glaring at the silent bookworm sitting across from him once again, Clyde stewed in a pool of rage he hadn’t felt in years.

This was fucking insane

The timid woman refused to make eye contact, opting for picking at her short fingernails instead.

There was a slight sweet smell in the air around his companion.

Deep down

He hoped it was fear

Clyde coughed into the foam cup he held between his hands, black sludge oozing from his mouth as he wiped it away with his torn sleeve. His face and body still covered in dark blood, a long slash refusing to heal from his brow to his chin disappearing below his rags.

His once well put together ensemble was now shredded, dangling from his arms and chest in sheets.

The bookworm sniffed rubbing her arm nervously

“I’m so sorry”

The small whisper might as well of been a shout in the quiet confines of Clyde’s kitchen.

He grimaced dabbing away more black ooze.

“sorry?” he growls

He shakes his head in disbelief, a sarcastic chuckle vibrating up from his chest.

“sorry is something you say to the stranger you bump into on the bus. Or when you pronounce someone’s name wrong…”

He frowns at her “sorry sure as shit ain’t what you tell someone you take to a surprise game of operation”

She’s trembling still avoiding his gaze “I…I didn’t know they were gonna show up”

He leans forward tapping his finger on the table baring his now pointed teeth “I don’t care, I want fucking answers” he growled.

“I sa…”

Clyde raised his eyebrows as she fought to get the words out.

“I….” she sighed “I saved your life…”

Clyde’s face hardened his eyes flashing red in anger “you’ve got to be fucking kidding me” he shook his head rubbing his hand down his face, pulling away in disgust as the action only smeared the black substance dripping from his mouth to his chin.

“It’s not like I was drowning, lady…I wasn’t hanging onto some ledge” he gestured behind him in frustration “my fucking intestines were spread from the damn Espresso machine to the fucking restrooms”.

He let out a pained wheeze

Leaning forward he once again coughed up dark blood into the cup, pushing it aside ware four more had been placed.

“I was dead” he hissed “…I was about as dead as someone could’ve possibly been, then you drag me back and now…” he scoffs pulling at his shredded shirt “now I’m in constant pain, and I’ve been coughing up this shit for the past…” he lifted his wrist wiping the now drying blood off his watch “hour and a half…so you can imagine why I don’t appreciate your help”.

She frowned “but…you protected me?”

He ran his hand through his sticky hair “well obviously I wasn’t expecting to be torn apart by Gomez and Morticia Addams either”

He rubbed his temples in frustration as his eyes flickered from there normal hazel to glowing red “da hell did you do to me?” he groaned.

“I injected my blood into your corpse” she whispered looking up at him as his lips curled back in disgust.

“so what the hell are you?”

She shifted slightly in her chair smiling briefly “my name’s Katrina but my friends call me…”

“I don’t care”

Her lips snapped shut her eyes dropping to the table.

Clyde’s jaw ticked “we are not friends…this right here..” he gestured between them “this isn’t what you build relationships on”.

He let out a pained groan scooting his chair back to rub his bare side “but as pissed as I am..” he narrowed his eyes at her “I got a feeling you knew exactly who I was when you tumbled into that diner”

She glanced up at him with a nod, grunting in reply he gave a rough cough “…so I’m guessing you had something in mind for me besides taking a bullet for you”.

She sighed in confirmation “it’s called The Devil’s Halo, it gives the demon who wears it limitless power…I escaped when I overheard that Tilla and Zule were seeking it out”.

Clyde nodded “the picture you showed me”

She nodded “it’s true, I knew who you were…”

“they called me Shield, why?” he growled, once again interrupting her.

Katrina rolled her lips biting her tongue “it’s a term the ones below use when referring to those who are capable of sustaining demonic essence”.

Clyde sighed “and what the hell would cause that?”

She scooted closer to the table “well…you’ve..uh…you’ve fought demons before”

“what?…no” he snapped wide eyed “I didn’t fight anything, I was protecting my daughter…I was fucking useless, Tzadok did the fighting and he paid for it later”

Katrina gave a soft sad smile “when you called Abyzou out of your child and took him within yourself…it…it changed your biology…it’s unoticable by humans but…” she shrugged “to us your kinda hard to miss” she let a small giggle escape.

He glared at her “and your blood, what did it do?”

Her smile faded “uh…it..it enhanced your body with demonic essence…the uh…effects may very, possessions are quite common but willing vessels are rare…your quite special” she mumbled.

“oh great” he growled, his eyes flashing “so what now?”

She sniffed “I could really use your help”

“you didn’t give me much of a choice”

She ducked her head “I am very sorry Clyde but you’re the only chance I have at stopping them” she shook her head “if they get the halo were all doomed”.

He glanced over at the clock, 1:45 am he hummed

“are you a demon?”

Katrina stared at him, she looked terrified “no”

He nodded getting to his feet with a sigh “I’ll help you”

She bit her lip, a small smile pulling at her lips “thank yo…”

He growled cutting her gratitude short

He ran his hand through his messy hair with a grimace, his shoulders stiffening as he held up his hand “but…” he snarled baring his long fangs letting his eyes burn “afterwards, you fix this” he jabbed his finger at his face.

“I refuse to be this…this…thing” he grit his teeth closing his eyes.

She shook her head, her eyes wide “you’ll die”.

“Fine” He breathed “shit happens…I can accept that, my life’s not worth much anyway”

She frowned but nodded “ok”

She was desperate, if she lost him she was doomed to fail. For now it was in her best interest to just do what he said.

He nodded wiping his face as he stalked down the hall “we’ll leave tomorrow”

Wait what?

she stood up quickly knocking her chair to the hardwood floor “where are you going?”

“I’m taking a fucking shower…smells like something died in here”

The door to his bathroom slammed shut making her flinch.

She let her eyes drop to the floor as she rubbed her arm

“thank you” she whispered a single tear trailing down her pale cheek as the storm continued to rage beyond the windows.

“thank you”

《》《》《》《》《》《》

Black and red water swirled down the drain at Clyde’s feet, his skin had knitted itself together just enough so that his guts could function.

His torso was littered with deep red scars, one large scar wrapped around the left side of his throat, the long gash down his face now fully revealed ran clear to the bottom of his pec.

He looked like a damn voodoo doll

His fucking eyes burned, he gasped scrubbing his face as more blood dripped from his lips swirling down amongst the rest.

Groaning he pressed his forehead against the tile.

He was dead

Or should be…

Or would be…

He shook his head

What would the girls think, what about Stephanie? would she even care or would they all let out a collective sigh of relief?

They had all been so close the following year after Emily’s possession, but things just slide down hill from there. Emily was plagued with nightmares and paranoia that she had to be hospitalized for.

Clyde himself had retreated to his work… having your body hijacked by a malevolent force was something he would never forget.

And the death of Tzadok… that man had went above and beyond to help him and it got him killed.

He’d still be alive if it wasn’t for him

Even now that damn box was probably out there destroying someone else’s life.

His eyes opened slightly, there deep red glow dancing out between his lashes.

Happy endings didn’t exist

Happy endings were just stories that hadn’t finished yet.

He coughed spitting blood out onto the tile with a pained grunt. Sliding his hand through his hair bloody water poured down his abdomen.

This was all just so fucked up

Leaning back against the wall he slid down it wrapping his arms around his knees.

This is what he gets for being kind

Why couldn’t he just be an asshole

************

After spending more than an hour scrubbing his scarred body he finally stepped out of the shower.

Wrapping a black towel around his waist he glanced up at the mirror glaring at his monstrous appearance, he growled baring his newly acquired fangs slamming his fist into the mirror.

The glass exploded shattering down around his sink.

Looking down at his knuckles he grimaced as streaks of black pulsed down around the freshly opened wound. Pieces of glass slowly pushing from his flesh clinking down into the sink as his skin began stitching itself back together. Clyde examined his hand

Hmmm…ok

well that certainly could come in handy

••••••••••••••••••

Walking down the hall in just his gray shirt and black sweatpants Clyde entered the living room.

Katrina was curled up on his couch her legs pulled up to her chest in the fetal position.

He shook his head

Her hair had fallen behind her head revealing her fair features fully to his wandering gaze. Her body was slim and soft…

She really was gorgeous

He ran his tongue across his lip, scratching his cheek before shaking his head.

As far as he was concerned she was a snake in the grass

Her shy and innocent facade was a trick… he could feel it, he trusted her about as far as he could throw her and if she backed out on their deal he’d kill her himself.

She shifted slightly, her arms hugging herself firmly as she shivered.

Rolling his eyes to the ceiling he sighed bending over to drape the gray throw blanket over her sleeping form.

She snuggled into its warmth with a small smile.

Shit

This is the kind of crap that got him into this mess.

Growling he plopped himself down in his recliner eyeing her suspiciously, leaning his chin on his hand he watched her sleep.

He’d be damned if he let his guard down around this creature.

Then again…he already was

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Reptiles & Rogues: Loaded Like a Freight Train (Part 1)

Have I finished my High School GNR fics? HELL NO!  Did I start another series? YOU BET YOUR ASS!  Is it as long as a book? SHIT YEAH WHY NOT?

Tag list: @malibubarbievince​ @ace-is-back-and-he-told-you-so​ @fanofnightz​ @sunshinesuska​ @sodalitefully​

Warnings: Public intoxication, the occasional cuss word, brief allusion to whiskey dick, wanting to grope a stranger’s fine ass (it’s about GNR people, they ain’t the church choir-see the above gif)

Notes: This is the first installment of a series, and the character Susan is based on the wonderful @sunshinesuska​ (if you aren’t following her or her writing blog @izzysdenimjacket​ you are really missing out, what a talent)

You couldn’t believe your eyes.

He was gorgeous.

And as he swayed all over the stage, you realized he was hammered.  Immaculately graceful and stunning, but he was completely FUBAR.

It was the first time you’d ever seen your friend Slash’s band Guns N’Roses play.  You’d met him when he stopped by the reptile rescue center where you worked, a beacon of tranquility on a busy city block.  With his impressive mane of curls and top hat, Slash definitely stood out amongst the normal gawkers and the classes of schoolchildren who came by to line up and hold Ralph the 8 foot red-tailed boa out to his full length.

The charming guitarist showed up frequently, leaving the newspaper stand 2 doors down where he where he worked (mostly gabbing on the phone) to come in and coo and smile at every animal in the place, large or small, knowing more about reptiles than any book or herpetologist.

He’d taken such a shine to the ancient tegu lizard Fats that he’d begged you to let him take him home for a weekend, and the fact that was against Dr. Mark’s policies (the veterinarian owned the facility and therefore made the rules) completely broke your heart.  You knew the geriatric and corpulent old tegu returned Slash’s affection, and would probably enjoy a couple of days having a devoted dad who treated him so tenderly.

You’d even visited Slash’s place and met Clyde, and it just blew you away that this scruffy looking guy owned a for-real anaconda.  AN ANACONDA.  You’d never seen one before; they didn’t get rescued because they were so irascible people didn’t keep them as pets, but here was Slash, holding up a placid green and yellow noodle like it was normal to do this kind of thing every day.

Slash was a deeply cherished friend, nothing more (he had a raging crush on a lab tech named Susan he’d met when he took his Grandma Ola in for bloodwork, and your didn’t meet too many guys with your head down shoveling reptile shit), a welcome human voice amid the silent creatures, and when he’d asked you to come out and see his band play, you couldn’t tell him no.

“Hey, Y/N?”

“Yeah?”

“We’re LOUD.”

Well, it wasn’t like you hadn’t heard of the Germs.

So had you headed down the Strip, X t-shirt and black ripped jeans on.  You’d even made somewhat of an effort with your hair, teasing your curls out and lacquering them in place.

Alright, dude, here I am.

And you had witnessed the most amazing band you’d ever seen tear through their set in a state of shock.  That sweet, soft spoken buddy of yours was bare chested and sweaty, his head thrown back, effortlessly making his Les Paul cry the most beautiful tears.  But as much as you loved watching Slash play, someone else onstage had your full attention.

He was pale, tall and thin, with long black hair, skintight black t-shirt and jeans, beating the everloving hell out of a defenseless white guitar.  He wove over and shouted something intelligible into the microphone, then wobbled his way to the other side of the stage.  The most beautiful creature you’d ever seen, and, just your luck, he was snake-turds drunk.

After the show, the band milled around the bar.  Slash introduced you to them all, and you discovered Hot Stuff went by the nom de punk Izzy Stradlin (how charming).  He’d indifferently nodded at you and went back to slurping greedily out of a red solo cup.

Slash was soon detained by an appreciative female fan.  He grinned at you in wonderment, exclaiming, “Holy shit, Y/N, you’re like my lucky charm.  Susan’s here and she wants to talk to me.”  You looked over at her, radiant with her own beautiful curls and top hat, and gently wished him good luck.

With your adrenaline wearing off and everyone preoccupied with drinking and hooking up, you decided to head home.  Although you had a day off tomorrow (to get your hairs did), the Sunset Strip was never your scene.

You made it back over to Slash to say goodbye.  Susan was seated in his lap, her head buried against his neck

“Bye, Slash.  Thanks for inviting me.”

“No problem.  Hey, since your like the only sober person here, can I ask you for a favor?”

“Okay?”

“Can you make sure Izzy gets home?”

IZZY?  The really hot guy?

“Yeah, he’s a mess tonight, and I trust you not take advantage of him.”

Oh rilly?

Slash smirked, like he’d just read your mind.

You sighed.  “Where does he live?” but Slash was already joined at the lips with his pretty new girlfriend.

Where even is Izzy? you thought as you scanned the bar.  Your stomach lurched when you thought about peeling him off of some trashy thing and trying to wrestle his drunk ass into your car.

Let’s hope he goes quietly.

To your immense relief, he wasn’t eating some chick’s face (or anything else), just parked on a chair outside of the men’s room, his head thrown back against the wall, eyes closed.

“Uh, Izzy?”

“Who wants to know?”

“I’m Y/N.  I met you earlier. I’m Slash’s friend.”

His eyebrows raised, but he didn’t open his eyes.

“I’m here to take you home.”

A filthy smirk slithered across his face.  “You’re about an hour too late for that, honey.”

“No!” you snapped, "Slash asked me to make sure you got home all right.”

He didn’t speak, but slowly stood up without argument, wildly unsteady on his feet.  Instinct had you throwing your arms around his slender waist, and his hands held onto your shoulders as you guided him to your car.

Once the two of you were inside, you asked him, “Where do you live?” but he had passed out with his head against the passenger side window.

After you buckled him in, you glanced down at his skintight jeans.  While the thought of feeling in his back pockets for a wallet containing a driver’s license definitely held some appeal, groping a drunken stranger’s ass  was something you just weren’t willing to do.  Not tonight, even if the ass in question was pretty admirable.  

Not that you’d been staring.  Just looking out for a defenseless individual.

So, were you going to drive around till an abode shouted, “Here’s Izzy’s place!” or he sobered up, whichever came first?  Or were you going to take him home with you?  One glance over at his perfect profile and one out-loud groan later, you had your answer.

Getting Izzy out of your car wasn’t difficult (gravity had helped).  Getting him up the steps to your apartment was a challenge, though, and unlocking the door with him in your arms and leaning on you had been quite the feat.

You shoved him inside to keep from dropping him (to be so damn skinny he sure was heavy), and the two of you finally made it to your couch.

He was completely conked out, no help at all, so you picked up his feet and laid him longways, fetching a pillow to place under his head.  Asleep in the dim light, you thought he looked like a fallen angel, then got a good whiff of the cheap booze he’d been guzzling and immediately reconsidered.  Then you noticed again how tightly his clothes were fitting him and realized you really needed to wash your face and get to bed.  NOW.