Delissandro learns that he loves Colin. Deli also learns he loves Karna. These loves, he learns, are different but no less impactful. Both he also learns, more than a little painfully, a little too late.
His love for Colin is tinged with boyhood and want. He wants to be known. He wants the meatlands to be free. He wants to aid in the war and play the political games that his mother refuses to do so. He wants and he’s willing. If he believed in The Bulb, he’d might even say it’s his destiny.
So he names Colin his Skald. His trustworthy advisor. He wants Colin. He doesn’t know in what way yet. The man ten years (at least) his senior. He’s but a boy. He has no idea what up or down is. How to quantify his want, how to understand his want. He wants. So he must have. This is something he is unwilling to compromise on.
Colin is his Skald. He is close to him, always. That makes Deli happy. His Skald is never apart from him. They are always close, always talking. Two years is more than enough time to form a bond forged in fire. So he thinks.
Deli wants Colin with him. Colin, however, does not want to be apart of Deli’s plans. Not anymore. A bond forged in fire, he thinks, too bad the welding was thin.
His love for Karna is a slow thing. Anything else, and it would be weird, anything more...he wishes that there was more. He doesn’t notice it at first. Of course he doesn’t. Each time he sees her it’s hard to reconcile the person she’s become in the years they have been away from the person she was before. She is a 14 year old girl, and then suddenly she is 16, and then suddenly it’s been five years and she’s nearing 21. Each visage is different from the last. Hungry, rotting. Hungry and lanky. Hungry and beautiful.
He calls her Skald, but inside she is just Karna. Her name ricochet's around his brain every time he lays down. Every time they win a battle together. Every time. It circles. It crescendo’s. Karna, Karna, Karna.
Deli knows about want. He’s never been good at figuring out what it means for him. It tangles with his missing limb, his old want for his Skald Colin, when he was but a boy. It changes and morphs. But there is war.
Ultimately, he wants to be slammed down big style. This he thinks, is the crux of the problem. He’s never been slammed down big style. That is what he truly wants.
With Karna.
Not Skald Karna. Just Karna. Karna who always comes when he calls. Karna who gave him her eye. Karna, Karna, Karna, Karna.
Within the same moment he realizes that he wants Karna she is gone.
Deli loves his Skald. Deli loves Karna. These both are the same type of love. But, as he watches the sun rise over the horizon of the meatlands, he comes to both these realizations much too late.
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cannot stop thinking of how gently colin says “listen to your mother” to the banana kid and just that scene in general. it’s this weird unreal moment of reprieve in between all the blood, and it is So Important to me
zac oyama is not a flashy roleplayer at all but he does so much with so fucking little and it drives me insane
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something something karna is hungry, so desperately ravenous, something about the appetite of a young, growing child, something about the way she was always too small, never able to have her fill, something about her hunger for everything she can claw her way to- love with Deli, family with Amangeaux and Raphaniel, kinship to Colin, in a weird, tangled way. Ravenous for violence, to feed the thing that gave her this second chance, willing to carve her own flesh from her bones to sacrifice it. Ravenous for the power, status, information, anything to protect her in the way she was not protected before her first death.
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Guys.
Brennan said Raphaniel wanted to spend the rest of his life burning the Sanctus Putris from the land, but he died before he could do that
Colin spent his time after the Ravening War making sure there were no more FDA people left, just like Raphaniel had intended to do.
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deli and colin’s convo in the tunnel has me on the floor. “we should talk at some point … not right now tho” *proceeds to have a very charged convo*
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A late lunch/charcuterie board for the Ravening War finale: pastrami sandwich on toasted bread, mango/peach/grape salad, provolone cheese on crackers, radishes, and a little carolina reaper pepper.
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