You get the Leverage Crew on your zombie apocalypse team. What are you looking forward to the most from each of them?

This is probably honestly the best zombie apocalypse team ever if I’m being totally honest.

First off, this group would not be a “team” so much as a “society,” because if there’s anybody out there who can actually pull off a Walking Dead Alexandria style set up, it’s Team Leverage.

Okay so obviously I’m going to have Eliot and Parker tag-team supply runs. They’d have this shit in the bag, and they’d be able to get in and out of places that literally nobody else could manage. I know that there are people (idiots) in the world who wanna hole up in, like, a Costco, because SUPPLIES FOR DAYS, and they always forget that those places are absolutely gonna be teeming with zombies because everyone else thought the exact same thing, duh. Shortly into the apocalypse, those places are still wall to wall supplies, but nobody can get at it because it’s overrun. But Eliot and Parker can fucking do it.

They take a small crew of carefully selected and trained people with them, because obviously. Eliot teaches everybody how to fight (in case of Bad People), how to make a headshot (in case of zombies), and how to de-escalate (in case of Scared People). He still doesn’t like guns, which is good because they’re gonna run out of bullets eventually. Everybody on his crew knows how to down a zombie with a knife. Parker, meanwhile, teaches them everything they need to know to ensure this is only occasionally necessary, how to sneak and avoid detection and hide, and how to get into places no zombie is smart enough to squeeze. Her people are like ghosts; there are rumors in the area of a group of ninja-like figures that come and go on the wind, clearing out medical supplies and sometimes taking people with them. Honestly, finding new people is their favorite part of the job; they like saving people.

Hardison’s the getaway driver in that scenario for a more on-the-ground job, but when he’s not doing that, he’s basically managing infrastructure. He’s keeping the place running on a maintenance level. He has spreadsheets and files and tracks everything and everybody. He and Sophie tag team meetings with new arrivals, so she can get a read on them to determine if they’re trustworthy, and he can take notes and figure out where they fit in. He’s also the reason they’ve still got electricity, because man knows how to manage resources. No internet, but you don’t need internet if you’ve got a fucking NES, and he does. A lot of them, actually. One of the first things he did after they founded their little township was send Parker and Eliot to all the nearby vintage game and movie shops for any- and- everything that could be used as entertainment, because that’s how you keep people from going all murder-y, okay?

Sophie, meanwhile, is managing the social aspect of the place, setting up meet-and-greets for newcomers, assigning housing, keeping things running and keeping tabs on people. She’s putting her people skills to their best use, making sure that the right people are being watched and the right ones are being left alone. Nobody would know it, but the housing assignments are extremely carefully cultivated, to ensure everybody’s getting neighbors they can get along with. It won’t do them any good, after all, if unrest among the residents makes the town itself more dangerous than the dead. And if there’s a few newly formed couples, or orphans finding their perfect homes, well. She’s very good at her job.

Nate, of course, is the de facto leader. Newcomers don’t always understand it, because he’s hardly intimidating, or imposing, or even really all that impressive. He’s good at pulling the soft, easy-going act to try and make people relax. If they’ve been outside long enough, that confuses them, because why the hell is this guy in charge? This middle-aged, unassuming, quiet man doesn’t have the strength to protect, the spine to lead! But if they cause trouble, he proves them wrong pretty quick, with a few quiet comments here and there, a threat if they’re particularly dangerous. There’s trouble, of course, but Sophie usually manages it well enough, and when that fails, well, there’s always Eliot. He doesn’t like going that route, of course, but sometimes there’s no choice. He’s fair, and firm, and A Good Man, but he’s also not afraid of doing what needs to be done. A threat to his home, to his family, is not one he takes lightly. People who don’t get expelled (or worse) learn to respect him, and some of them even actually like him.

I’m shelving this for a fic idea. Dunno if I’ll ever have the spoons to write it, but for once, I don’t need plot. In a zombie apocalypse, the plot kinda writes itself.