#shit my brain spouts at 3am
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So Tim comes home with a baby one day.
Obviously everyone's like o.o!!!!! O^o!!!! Baby!?!??!
Tim explains that he got cloned (happens to the best of us) and he couldn't just leave it and its a baby so he couldn't bring himself toooo...despose of it so he bought it home.
After his usual paranoid 'what if this is a ploy to destroy me' tirade and Tim's 'kons a clone and he's good', Bruce is actually pretty exited to have his first grandchild and everyone else dotes on there new nephew. New borns are difficult but Alfred is the biggest support and the kids host of aunty's and uncles are more than happy to baby sit when Tim needs a brake.
Plot twist.
As the kid grows he starts acting...weird. and not kid weird, just weird. His kainines are a little to sharp, his ears noticeably grow points, his eyes start glowing in the dark. Some of his nonsensical babbling starts to sound like a language, nothing anyone knows though, and Tims pretty sure he saw him float once. Obviously everyone's grown attached to the child and Tim's beside himself because what's going on with his son???
Then, one day, Tim runs into a man. He's got noticeably pointed ears and to sharp kainines and, from his place just behind the streetlights, his eyes seems to glow.
"Look...this is um. This is gonna be a little difficult."
He starts with and Tim blanches, hesitating but not moving. The man holds the back of his neck in an effort to self-sooth, braking eye contact for a moment. He trys again.
"A while ago someone tryed to clone me" a loud pause as a car thunders past. "I went to go and find them but when I got there, they where gone." his hand comes down from his neck to fiddle with his hoodie strings, deep blue eyes looking back at Tim. "I think" another pause, this one silent. "I think you have them, don't you?"
And Tim has his very worried suspicions confirmed. They had tested the baby to see if his DNA had been mixed with someone else's. There had been an indication it was but nothing solid and until the kid had started manifesting all there strange characteristics, Tim hadn't worried about it outside of the usual 3AM panicking.
The man explains that his name is Danny and he has a very...unique condition that certen people have been trying to replicate over the years. That they probably mixed his genes with a normal person's (Tim might have sniggered at that if he wasn't so scared shitless) in an attempt to make the clone more stable.
He apologises for getting him tangled up in this and says if Tim will just show him where the clone is, he'll get it out of his hair and take care of it. This is the point at which Tim puts his foot down. No one is getting his son 'out of his hair' and certnely not 'takeing care' of him.
Strangely enough, Danny seems relieved that Tim is so resolute about it, saying he's glad his son has been so well taken care of and assuring him that he has another clone who he loves alot.
They eventually figure the situation out with Danny explaining more about his 'condition' and even looking sad when Tim describes the boy and how grown he already is.
It turns into a really weird co parenting dynamic that gose through alot of growing pains.
#bek rambles about crap#danny phantom#danny fenton#dp#tim drake#dp x dc#shit my brain spouts at 3am#this could be a dic but honestly Im tierd and only really have the vaugh outline#alot of potentiol for angst and intresting dynamics though#I think it could be a really rich story given the breathing space#Im seeing like#teen parents struggling to coperant#maybe Tims a little bitter Danny missed the newborn stage#maybe dannys a little bitter he did to#also romance potential#maybe#I cant decide if that would be one to many tiings#or perhaps just the perfect amount#lemme mull it over
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internet is so obsessed w black-and-white zero nuance takes that there are some ppl out there who genuinely think that talking about transmasculine issues = (also = “ew men suck”) taking attention away from transfeminine issues = transmisogyny ? somehow? and its extremely frustrating and honestly kinda frightening because u cannot properly battle transphobes unless you acknowledge and understand the nuances of who and how they target and attack
(pls dont reblog this rn; the possibility of someone misconstruing me and being an ass is something i cannot deal with atm)
#*deep space noises*#like im honestly not sure ive seen a post talking abt terf damage to trans men or smth#that doesnt have a cavaet of ‘i recognise that trans women have it worse’ somewhere#i think twitters character limit has convinced ppl that ur only allowed to talk abt one thing at a time or smth#did u know things can be linked but also be different?#terf spout shit constantly abt ‘natal girls’ being ~mutilated~ and brainwashed#do you understand that this harms ALL trans people horrifically but just in different ways#and if we avoid or minimise talking about all tactics and targets of terfs#the we’re never going to get any where?#listen to trans women#but do not ignore or diminish trans men and nonbinary ppl#we are siblings#we are holding hands and holding each other up together#dont make it a vs thing i beg of you#it should never be that and it makes me so sad that ppm genuinely have that outlook#this is probs worded weird its 3am my brain is static and im exhausted in every possible way#i am Melancholy and going to bed now
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This is the most personal thing I have ever fucking posted anywhere and I hope this gets buried quick but also iduno maybe other people will relate and it’ll help them maybe or make them worse i am going to regret this the second I hit post
Ps- nobody freak out I am like, safe and not in danger lmao just fyi
TW: so many. Uh angst, mention of self harm, implied suicide/death, lots of very bad profanity, depression, anxiety, bad poetry, abuse of rhyming scheme, rhyming best with best, way too long, dude don’t read this
I have things to do, a whole list of things I wanna do inside my head
and none of them are this stupid poem, and it fills me with such dread
Because it’s well into the evening and I’ve yet to leave my bed
And I know that I’ll still be fucking tweaking this at 3am instead
Of fucking sleeping or drinking water or taking any of my meds
And I’ll keep doing it for 15 years until I’m fucking dead because
My brain is a bastard. My brain is a creep.
It haunts me in the daytime, but sometimes it doesn’t when I sleep
And I would sleep maybe forever if it wasn’t for this fucking spark
That forces me to think of pretty things and lanterns in the dark
And things I could be fucking making, frogs and gardens and dumb art
Please God, it’s not what I begged for, I didn’t want to build this ark
But I know without it, I would fucking drown in piss and fall apart
My brain is an asshole. My brain is a cunt.
But please don’t let the language scare you, i’m just putting up a front
Because I’m a lot more sad than angry and a lot more “used to it” than sad
And my only outlet is the things I make although they’re fucking bad
And I try to offer it some better things, with better outcomes to be had
it slaps them out of my fucking shaking hands, it’s obsessions ironclad
I just wanted to be healthy, helpful, and do things with my fucking dad but
My brain is a monster. My brain is a freak.
It’s supposed to be a tool I use, but instead it’s using me
Piloting me like a god damn gundam made out of bones and fucking meat
And I’m powerless to stop it, though I kick and bite and scream
Or I used to, I fucking swear I did, but now I mostly lay around and dream
Of a day when I can do the things I like without injesting fucking speed
My brain is a liar, but fucking so am I.
I craft such stupid fucking stories for me to crawl under and hide
(somehow more believable than the truths I tell, how and fucking why?)
I’m so embarrassed by it’s actions, I need to believe they aren’t mine
It’s my brain, that son of a bitch, making me out to be a bad, bad guy
Making my chest and heart and lungs get tied up in it’s vicious lies
Forcing my mouth to spout such bullshit and waterboard my fucking eyes
Sometimes I honestly believe it’s honest, and not a coward in disguise
It’s last name is Puzzle, it’s all a game to it, shame and panic is the prize
My brain is a shit. My brain is a turd.
It convinces me I’m dumb and mute whenever I’m desperate to be heard
Sometimes I feel like a prisoner, a fat cow separated from the herd
I’d do anything (that i’m able) to be the cage around the bird
I need to fucking rebel, so I promise I won’t write another fucking word
...BUT MY BRAIN’S A FUCKING SHITEATING COCKSUCKING PRICK
because my brain’s a fucking cannibal and it makes me fucking sick
I want to tear it out by it’s ugly fucking stem and smash it with a brick
No more executive dysfunction, no more confusion, no more fucking tricks
Just the thought of being fucking rid of it gets me so fucking slick
But my mommy would be sad, so you win this round, you fucking dick
But one day you’ll be a goner, a rotting, ruined mass
So one day when no one’s looking, you had better watch your wrinkled ass
And less and less people are watching, so you better think fucking fast
Before I put your hippocampus in a headlock, and your neocortex in a cast
There’s one thing I’m fucking certain of, your reign won’t fucking last
Because thank god nothing is permanent, even this will come to pass
And then we’ll be like all the other graveyard corpses, fucking normative at last
...Okay, listen brain I’m sorry. Maybe that was too intense?
But you’re making me so fucking stupid, you make me make no fucking sense
I’ve tried so hard to fucking work with you, to compromise, hence
The doctors appointments and the pills and everything at great expense
But you make me miss all my appointments and forget to take my meds
And what’s the point of the watch that reminds me if you are too fucking dense
To remember to put it on in the mornings, you make everything so tense
Just like you strain my boyfriend’s wallet with every wasted fucking cent
And sometimes it feels like none of it has even made a fucking dent
Because my wisdom tooth is still rotting and my funny bone is spent
My brain is the worst fucking tenant, and it doesn’t even pay the rent
My brain is a failure, but my brain tries it’s best.
To distract me from the everything, to give me fucking rest
But all it really does is hinder me, I’m never at my best.
It thinks it’s doing something good for me, but i’m not fucking impressed
The days go by so fucking quickly and I’m just as quick to fucking forget
Every memory like busted christmas lights, a tangled useless mess
Something that once brought such happiness but now it’s just a pest
I need an exterminator in my synapses, because they’re a fucking rat’s nest
I haven’t seen my friends in so so long, It puts our friendship to the test
But I never wanted to fucking test them, I just want this shit to end
I need a coping mechanism on which I can actually depend
I’ve lost my appetite for grief eating, my emotional support animals were hens
But bandits slaughtered them for funsies, so now it’s just an empty pen
And I was never one for self harm, though I tried it way back when
But now every time I see the burn, I have to think of it again?
Which seems counter fucking productive.. hey, do you think you maybe can
Stop me from doing all this fucking rambling? Though it’s been tried by better men...
I’m so sorry, I’m so sorry, but I can’t speak for it
I’m not sure if it is sorry, cuz it’s such a fucking tit
But I am trying to be better, and I won’t hate you if you split
Because I wish I could bail everyday, and I don’t wanna be a hypocrite
I’ll still love you, i’ll still love you, (if i remember you that is)
And I’ll keep wishing every day that I can find the strength to fucking quit.
Every day, every minute, holy shit.
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so lads im typing this, Again, because tumblr just hates me i guess
actually? my last post had a bunch of different shit, im just thinking abt the same au but different parts of it
its all under cut because last time it turned out really really lengthy and yall dont need to scroll thru paragraphs of my thoughts and ramblings about my au i thought of for my si/oc thing
ok so what if itsuki had a reincarnation quirk. 3rd life she gets ofa because i want her to be happy and in the end when shes finally dead for real and can chill and hang out with all the ofa users. also izukus like “well, i mean. you already know abt ofa and youre here, eat this”
besides lives 2 and 3, all of them were pretty uneventful. she just went “fuck this” and became a citizen for all of them. she sees all the kids around her wanting to be heroes, went “thats nice” and gets isolated by her peers by rule of That Kid In The Corner Is Really Weird And Creepy. she doesnt fuckin bother hiding the fact shes already learned all this shit and everyone thinks shes a Gifted Child everytime and she doesnt correct them. going to college at 6 was one of her favourite lives bc she got to see everyones reaction to a puny ass child spout shit children shuld have no place knowing
she became a teacher in that life, kind of doing the same thing she did when she was itsuki bc she was a ua teacher that time and she knows what shes doing
shes also one of the harder teachers because Plus Ultra but also one of the easier ones bc she tries to explain it a lot, and if her class looks really dead eyed and not at all absorbing this info she pulls out a game and lets them get their bearings, or something idk im not a teacher
and all her other lives werent that interesting until the ninth one
her couple last lives were all near this one house she built in the woods, and every life she runs away at ages 2-4 to live in that house. theres a local legend and its like “Something Is Stealing Our Children Every Hundred Years........”
and then 3 kids go search for this house in the woods because children just be like that. and they see itsuki and its theres various reactions “:O Youre Real!” “i fuckigngn kne w it” “GET AWAY FROM ME YOU GHOST”
itsuki, internally: “oh, haha! you look very very much like my dead brother and friends”
externally: “congrats, u found me. im hayashi makoto” bc she uses the name given to her this life, and using midoriya itsuki is out of the question because she a wikipedia page because dekus sister and being a pro hero. i mean she could use names from her other lives but Look..... The Plot.........
the leader of the 3 kids goes “SAME NAME!!!!!!! IM HAYASHI DAIKI!!!!!!” and the others introduce themsleves as koharu (katsuki) and ryou (shouto)
koharu and ryou lose their shit even more bc makoto has the same face as daiki (identical twins but the both of them are utter dumbasses and dont know theyre twins. mostly makoto because her brain cells didnt hold onto the info that this life, she had a twin. daiki just thinks its a coincidence/doppleganger)
ryou is a Conspiracy Theorist because..... shouto just be like that. later when theyre not haning out at makotos place ryou goes “daiki, have you ever considered........... thats your long list twin” “haha ryou! youre a real riot!!” “no listen ive got so many evidences” and ryou is really fucking smug when years later down the line, it turns out they are twins
and then several months/years later daiki wakes up in a cold sweat. he had a dream he was seeing thru the eyes of major historical figure deku, who theyre learning abt in class. he thinks its just one of those dreams that summarizes your day but the dream was very............... domestic, and vivid, and he remembers too many details. why would he dream of izuku, bleary eyed and staying up at 3am with all the lights off, hunched over on his desk and doing so much paperwork. what the fuck are these words? he cant fucking understand all these big ass legal words. someone opens the door to his room (in the dream) and looks a lot like izuku
“jesus christ are you going back on old habits now?”
“dont call me out like this”
“remember katsuki had a fucking aneurysm everytime he found out you were doing your work last minute and got a 98% on it meanwhile he finished it a month ago and got a 96%?”
“skfhjGFWWDFGKL IT WAS SO FUNNY, I THINK HES STILL SALTY ABOUT IT”
“anyways you big fucking asshole this is my house and im letting you crash over, and that means you need to take better care of yourself. the next time i catch you doing this im flinging you out the window and even if they wanted to ochako or hitoshi cant do anything about it. wait no, theyd help”
“no dont!!!!! is this any way to treat your brother” “yes, now scram on those papers”
anyways daiki has a time quirk! Time Quirk Shenanigans! yeehaw!
daiki tells makoto the next day. makoto goes “,,,,,,,, holy shit” and grills daiki on the details and goes even more holy shit for everything he tells her
daiki gets more dreams from izukus pov and tells makoto abt them too. he also tells koharu and ryou, whose reactions are “cool i guess” and “have u considered deku is reaching out to u via dreams?” makoto is always losing her shit every time but offers details daiki missed or adds on the aftermath. when daiki asks she just says “i have the same quirk” which, she does bc identical twins, but she doesnt fucking know she has one!!!! shes learned that trying to figure out what her quirk is every life becomes really annoying and tedious so she just learned how to suppress a quirk and how to not activate it
one of daiki and makotos conversation: “today deku chugged monster energys and coffee in one go. i fear for both mine and his life. is he human?” “no have you seen him? humans cant break as many bones as he does” later in the day daiki suggests to ryou that deku isnt a human being. ryou goes fucking nuts on it
and then Time Quirk Shenanigans! daikis first usage of his quirk in a way that isnt thru dreams is either by reviving a flower or sending him and makoto hundreds of years into the past into dekus time. its one of those, i havent decided yet
and theyre just H because they dont know how to forward time, and that was either daikis first quirk usage or hes only ever learned how to reverse time. makoto is near tears because she knows where they are, she hasnt seen her old apartment in so long and if the places and buildings are the same does it mean the people are too? can she see her friends again?
out of utter convenience theyre in izuku and katsukis neighbourhood. daiki is freaking out, but not that much since makoto looks calm (shes internally freaking out). makoto leads them down a path she hasnt taken in ages and shes about to cry from relief because theres the park and thats the ice cream place and- and also bc shes glad she still remembers the route. she goes to the midoriya aprtment, knocks, and inko answers
daiki: “makoto whos this???”
inko: “? hello? are u kids lost”
makoto: “hi wheres izuku”
inko: “oh are u izukus friend!!! youre very young, how did u meet him?”
makoto: oh my fucking god we look like 6 year olds “i see him walking sometimes and talk with him”
and then they hang out with inko until schools over and izuku and itsuki come home from ua, because ive decided this is pre-dorms. makoto didnt think to ask for itsuki bc u know, thats her, and she forgot she existed. daiki gets along a lot with inko
and they come home eventually and makoto sees itsuki and is “ah, right. thats me. im gonna talk with myself” and then they talk in itsukis room and makoto tells everything
itsuki: “i just want u to know this is really fucking weird and sounds like the plot of a fanfic”
makoto: “bro. we died on earth and reincarnated into our fav anime, this IS a fanfic”
itsuki: “youre right but you shouldnt say it”
and then they chill at ua as the guest children. some of the ua staff know their situation and trying to help get them to their time. makoto watches the interactions between 1a and notices things she didnt last time
makoto: “hey itsuki when youre around your early 20s youre going to be thrown a big fucking curveball and its going to be their fault” [points at uraraka and shinsou]
itsuki: “should i be worried?”
makoto: “if you want to be. oh and him too, but technically not him” [points at todoroki] “its more between some people in the future thats related to him, not touya or endeavor” because how the fuck do you explain seeing your kid and your friends kid becoming lesbians with each other
oh yeah lmao i made future kid ocs too ig, whatever. yuki is todorokis and had a really similar story to him. she had a pro hero dad whose quirk was ice and he wanted a successor, and she got his quirk. her moms quirk is fire so she likes warmth better than the cold. todoroki hears her story thats very similar to his and bam, hes got a kid
airi is itsukis and also uraraks and shinsous and is very chaotic and feral, because children just be like that. im not actually sure what id do regarding itsuki tho, i might take her out of the family thing bc im still 50/50 on itsuki having a relationship or not. airi has touch-based mind control and everytime she wants a cookie she holds one of her parents hands like “cookie.” and they are just forced to give it to her. FUCK WAIT WHAT IF HER QUIRK IS RESPONSE-ACTIVATED ZERO GRAVITY. like theyr ein the middle of battle and one of her allies go “i need to get there really quickly. can you yeet me there?”
“yeah, whats the codeword”
“cowabunga” and then they get weightless and airi just TOSSES them across the field
and then there just becomes code whenever they need airis quirk. whenever airis there, if u listen, there will be exchanges of “cowabunga?” “cowabunga” “[solemnly] cowabunga”
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No Face No Feelings lyrics.
LYRICS
No Face No Feelings
Verse
since 13 I’ve felt weird
out of place
stressed and depressed all the time
im fucking anxious
now im just coping each week day
cause i live for the weekend
Saturdays are my weak day
fuck a 9-5 ill do this my way
never wont a boss
cause i like things my way
i shot and edited all of this
come step a foot in my place
perfectionist with visuals
ideas come from my brain
at 3am thats my time to reign
im so fucking over all of this
tired of constantly feeling shit
i want to put my all into this
its so fucking draining
Chorus
No face no feelings
I get stressed out in the evening
No face no feelings
I spend my evenings staring at the ceiling
No face no feelings
I know its not very appealing
No face no feelings
I just can’t face my feelings
Verse
its 11 i just got up
im fucking late
imma fuck up
by my tutors dont care
so theres no reason to get worked up
finally got to uni after 4 years
i took the scenic route
so i dont care what you’ve got to spout
i know ill get there one day
even if im full of all this self doubt
but all this drink and drugs on the weekend aint gonna help
all of this shits destroying my mental health
i mean whats worth the most in the end
your happiness or your health
ive simply just had enough of all of this
so just please take care of yourself
Chorus
No face no feelings
I get stressed out in the evening
No face no feelings
I spend my evenings staring at the ceiling
No face no feelings
I know its not very appealing
No face no feelings
I just can’t face my feelings
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Dealing with Other Humans
For the most part, humans as individuals are a largely shitty species. As a general rule, I much prefer cats, mostly because their personalities tend to be more aligned to mine; i.e. They are sassy as fuck. But every so often, you will come across a person whose outlook on the world is similar to yours. It doesn't have to be exactly the same. These are the people who make the best friends. I mean, who wants to be friends with someone where they disagree on everything. The trick with finding these like-minded humans (and what you do once you've found them) depends a lot on an individual's preference and personality. Some people like to go actively looking for them, some people prefer to act all dark and mysterious and let others come to them out of curiosity. You do you. My method is to just express my opinions/world views/interests when and IF the situation requires it. I find that this method tends to attract like-minded people quite nicely. This also goes for romance. But opposites attract, I hear you say. I know that, I did 10th Grade Science, I am aware of what happens with magnets. People are not magnets. For some, they find love with people who their complete opposite. For some, it will be someone who is similar, but neither a total opposite nor exactly the same. I think the second option is the better one, personally. You need things in common, beyond stuff like gender and appearance. If you are complete opposites with your significant other, you will disagree on literally everything. That's a relationship ready to go wrong, if ever there was one. So, whether you're trying to find 'the one' or just looking for a like-minded friend to hang out with, I think just being yourself is an excellent starting point. But remember that not everyone wants to hear about your opinions on every single topic ever. That'd leave no time for them to express themselves and that's just rude. Friendship is about balance. So balance it out. P.S. I still prefer cats to people. This is what happens when I wake up at 3am. My brain spouts this shit at me and I feel obliged to write it down because I know I'll forget it by the time I actually wake up.
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