there is no fucking way...
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Favorite bit of adventurers bible lore is that Marcille was a researcher developing new healing magic before she joined the party but then learned all the offensive spells we see her use in a single day. Insane behavior. Imagine knowing the top med student in the country and one day she drops out of her cancer research program and perfects the art of making pipe bombs in 24 hours.
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Lae'zel's character and her entire situation at the beginning of the game becomes so much more funny when you find out she's 22. It makes so much sense. Imagine you're 22 and you're exposed to this dangerous toxin or chemical or something - but not to worry, you learnt that this can be easily fixed, you just need to dial 911 real quick. Common knowledge. Everyone knows that. You learnt that in kindergarten, it's up there with fire alarm drills.
But the people you're stuck with have no concept of modern medicine and when you say "let's go to the hospital" they will say shit like "i think they kill people at the hospital" and "we should ask this swamp lady" or "this guy over there told me about this homoeopathic healer kind of guy but he got abducted" or "this random bard wants to help" and "I'm not going to dial 911 because I don't want the government to know my home address" or "maybe we should consider a deal with Satan". And then a bunch of them KEEP consuming the chemical because it makes them "stronger". One guy might explode for unrelated reasons. You have a few days before this situation is getting critical and suddenly they're solving crime and doing general charity for the community.
And FOR SOME REASON you still try to help these idiots and you STILL want to help them get the cure even though they all keep insisting the "doctors" at the "hospital" might try to "kill them" and they don't have insurance. And you keep telling them to just. go. to. the. hospital. before the time runs out and you all die very horribly of a very treatable condition.
And also you're 22 in a foreign country and you're responsible for shepherding this gaggle of idiots who are all ranging anywhere from 24 to 240 years old.
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genuinely it will never stop baffling me how people will wear twilight shirts and talk about team Edward vs team Jacob and then the same people will be like "I'm not basing my personality off of a piece of media (harry potter) made by a transphobe 😌" like good that's great! so you can excuse racism but you draw the line at transphobia? good to know
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hiii everybody are you normal about Falin showing Laios the same little spell that Marcille showed her? are you normal about Falin remembering it fondly enough that it was one of the first things she showed her brother while trying to teach him magic?
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Can't stop thinking about reverse Scott Pilgrim au where Ramona has to fight all of Scott's exes, Punk drummer Kim, Megastar Envy Adams with an army of groupies, Femme fatale Lisa Miller, Jaded obsessive Knives Chau, maybe an alternate timeline version of herself.
And when she's all done it's just kinda Wallace standing there and she's like Wallace what are you doing, I'm meeting Scott's ex here and he just gives this sad shrug smile and she's like Oh and then he pulls out the baseball bat-
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i was curious so i looked up what story alana was reading to abigail and it's about a inmate who escapes a prison and ends up killing an entire family. she was reading that to a teenage girl who just narrowly escaped being killed by her serial killer father. anyway i never want to hear about how normal and well adjusted alana is ever again
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making my mom play Baldur's Gate 3 and she died in the Nautiloid bc she decided she needed to destroy every single brain jar as "revenge" and burned up in the caustic brine
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The bad kids are insane this episode. It's crit city. It's tactical genius. They are blowing through the kinds of monsters that make most dnd parties shit themselves. They've come SO FAR from the scared kids who died to cream corn and I am LIVING for the sheer competency on display here. No one is doing it like the bad kids are doing it.
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