I love Mayoi Ayase so i will ramble abt her b/c i am insane and she's my wife /hj

I love how she's so passionate abt her dances and music, she truly cares so much abt wanting her peers and other members of groups to get better that she goes out of her way to write them encouraging advice and constructive messages until she earned the the nickname "phantom". She could've instead done nothing and just watched them struggle until they just decided to half ass it or give up but instead she helps them.

I also love her personality, it shows that even though she has bad intrusive thoughts she makes it clear that they're nothing but thoughts even if she almost acts out on it. Intrusive thoughts aren't bad or hard to control but considering she has some form of trauma and almost acts out on some things (ie. Mentions of wanting to drug, peep, stalk ect) she controls them to the best of her control and succeeds, even if she insults herself to now end.

Which brings me to another thing, i want to know what exactly caused her trauma. As of now, I'm playing ensemble stars in the English servers so maybe her past is revealed in the Japanese servers but i want to know what made her so scared of people, what happened that made her be so anxious of people to the point she gets panic attacks, why is she so self loathing and deprecating? Does it have to do with the Shinkai cult? Does she even play a role there? And if she does, what was it? What was her role? It's clear that she played some role since Kanata mentioned that she "smelled familiar" (as far as i remember).

Aside from that, i love that she can handle herself, even though through all of the self doubt, even with her struggle with a group of people, let alone an audience, even with constant insult towards herself, she still manages to be an idol and be happy with it. She can sing and dance and let the music do its thing and make her do all of these things gracefully. She could've quit, i imagine if anyone was feeling what she feels for even a day, no one would deal with it without stressing and feeling miserable (not that I'm saying that she doesn't feel that way, she's mostly silently about it) but she doesn't mind it and in fact is happy that she's experiencing it with her friends.

She's also just so pretty to look at, she looks so scared but when she smiles she's so happy!! She makes me wanna tuck into bed and give her a forehead kiss while singing her a lullaby! Her blush is so cute and her cute shark teeth is so cool! Her beauty mark is so pretty to look at, i wanna kiss it muah muah i love my wife.

I also love how she's so passionate abt her hobbies!! She loves making dioramas! I never really cared for them but now everytime i even hear anything related to dioramas my mind immediately goes to mayoi! She's so talented and it fits her so well! She loves small-cute things so what's better than making some small-cute things right? She also likes sweets and the outdoors, i can definitely see her being outside the most, enjoying the forest or maybe a meadow and just sitting down while she eats some cookies or small cakes and pastries with some grapes on the side and just staring at some flowers, or maybe just relaxing after a hard day of training and practicing, with school on top of that!

Anyways my hyperfixation won, can't believe i like enstars, enstars is trash and I'm mad i know what it is, it should be deleted off the internet /affectionate (if enstars ever disappears i will cry)