Yesterday was a particularly bad day. For no real reason. The grief waves were just hitting me. I still managed to make it to the gym somehow. But then I had mad insomnia and stomach pains. The stomach pains continued when I got up this morning. I've only had some coffee and a rice cake today (it's 2pm). I had just started to get my appetite kind of back. Guess I overdid it. Even my GI tract is grieving.
I miss my girl.
All I want to do it buy stuff to keep her memory alive for me and look at old pictures of her (Facebook is good for that since it has stuff from back before I got an iPhone).
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Johnny is definitely the kind of guy who picks up large dogs under one arm and just carries them around.
More Soap on the farm headcanons, I love him he's so funny.
Absolutely he picks up the dog and carries it around like a sack of feed. Just holding the cattle dog under one arm, Mav doesn't care, wags his little tail as they walk around and barks at things like usual. Soap's been told multiple times not to hold the dog like that but he doesn't care. Mav doesn't complain so he just keeps pickin' him up and carrying him around.
Soap's the guy picking up the goats. Can't herd them so he just moves them physically. Definitely has raised enough of them that they just let it happen. Bottle fed animals come up to him and he just scoops them up. A favorite of the barn cats to no one's surprise. He's got a way about him that the particularly bad tempered animals just melt for. Show Soap a goat that won't stop headbutting, or a horse that bites, and he'll bring them back the best behaved animal you ever laid eyes on.(Give him a hellcat of a darling and he'll try to wife her up)
Strikes me as the guy you would see at the fair showing off heritage breeds. Also strikes me as the sort of guy that feels bad when he has to neuter an animal. Apologizes to the bulls when he's gotta snip them.
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Okay but forreal, now more than ever I desperately NEED Aya to eventually wreck Fyodor's shit somehow. I already wanted her to get her revenge before, but I didn't think Fyodor would even remember or know who she was, and would massively underestimate her for that reason (just like Jouno knew that Fukuchi would underestimate her). But now the story has instead created this twisted, fucked-up dynamic between them, where Fyodor not only knows her, but is protective of her for reasons that are not his own: he has taken the pure, noble, kind, fatherly love motivating Bram to protect Aya and warped it into something horrific, vowing to protect her body only while not caring how much her heart and mind has been scarred, and claiming to be doing it for her own salvation, when he cannot possibly understand the selfless feelings Bram had that made him want to protect her and care for her — feelings that he does not have. He may genuinely have some sort of affection for children (the way he treated Karma, "blessings for the children", this), but it is twisted and hollow and is quite possibly only him unconsciously acting out the motions due to behavior instilled in him from the feelings of all the people he's subsumed in the past.
All this is to say that, now the narrative has specifically pitted Aya and Fyodor together as direct enemies: she not only had reason already to hate him because he killed Bram, but because he's also taken Bram's love for her and defiled it, dishonored it and him and all that he was; meanwhile, Fyodor has given himself an arch nemesis that he no doubt takes great pleasure in seeing how much she hates him/how much despair he's brought her, but paradoxically at the same time feels a compulsion to "protect" her that draws himself to her and that he can't ignore. Aya has to defeat him somehow (not permanently, mind you; Dazai will undoubtedly be his final end), and the setup for Bram being able to fight back enough to stop Fyodor from the inside with her help is all right there, too. Their love for each other is still enduring, stronger than ever, Fyodor is proof of that right now, and they will be able to defeat him together, at least enough that Bram can be freed and come back to Aya. Dazai told Fyodor that he would lose because he doesn't understand and underestimates the power of friendship bonds and love, and there is no better a time for that to happen than here, when he is literally using someone's strong love for and connection with someone (acting as that person and claiming to know how they feel and to be the same as them) in a way that he cannot understand, which will be his undoing.
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overly specific house dog au headcanons? spill some?
I can try and fit in one post everyone I've settled completely on so far, and also be obnoxious about dog breeds. fun
I've also bothered @greghatecrimes with a lot of these so very big thanks to them for helping me settle on breeds for everyone <3
It's when I've settled on a "base breed" with dogs that sometimes things just go crazy and go from there
Start with the most overly unnecessarily detailed one here you go:
Adams is the oddest most fantasy mixed breed of ALL fucking time her parents are one Belgian Tervuren and one Borzoi x Ibizan Hound and she appeared so much Tervuren that it’s just possible to miss that she’s got any sighthound(s) in her.
Editing to go even more in-detail with this one because my girl deserves it: She ends up looking somewhere between these two:
She’s very pointy and very leggy but she is very long-furred and that's where the mistakes come from. She moves mostly with the gaits of her sighthound sides which the others find is an easy way to make her bristle. She’s prancing across the room and Chase says you move like a sighthound and she says no I don’t (yes she does)
Park is a Silken Windsprite:
Probably struggles in snow and sometimes has to jump and jump to get through it when it's really deep but Adams mumbles that it’s cute and that's Fight invitation. Park brings up that Adams gets snowballs stuck on her and that it takes hours to melt out of her fur. ("Fuck you!" - "Do it yourself!")
It's probably fair to say she has some little dog syndrome.
Chase is an Australian Shepherd. House probably used to make comments about he and Cameron both being Merle:
Cameron is this specific Border Collie (but with blue eyes, ofc):
Probably does the Collie Crouch sometimes. Absolutely does the Collie Stare, and that would come into House's "you can't actually pierce me with your eyes" moments.
Foreman is a Central Asian Shepherd:
For a slight visual similarity to how I imagine post-Lockdown Angst Cameron might feel meeting Masters, Masters is a Nova Scotia Duck Tolling Retriever:
Probably has what I call in the groomers "Smart Breed Anxiety" along with her autism swag. Dogs who listen to and seem to understand every word you say and if you're telling someone or another pet off for anything, they assume they're the one you're talking to and give all their guilty looks. Also using my Bluebear as reference with that visual.
Thirteen is this Utonagan!!! No other visual!!! Have such a canine visual of The Dig it's insane.
Wilson of course took Golden Retriever. Definitely one of the larger/silkier ones. Show-type. He'd definitely be a dark gold but this is the best pic I have for how I picture him -color:
House is a Scottish Deerhound, mixed with what? He doesn't know. Wants to know. Very easy to miss that he's a cross:
(Little Rachel rode on his back for a bit once.)
Speaking of, Rachel is a little pupper Sheltie (Natalie) x English Shepherd (Simon) but she barely shows any Shep traits when it comes to looks:
Rachel's a mini-me of her mama, Cuddy took Rough Collie:
Kutner is a Springer Spaniel x Large Münsterländer, leaning more looks-wise toward the latter and leaning energy-level toward the former:
Taub is a Beagle, Chihuahuas are just too small for one of the main characters in my little visual I'm afraid (and I forgot Smooth Fox Terriers existed):
Rachel is a long-haired Dachshund, and Ruby is a show-type English Cocker Spaniel, so Sophie and Sophia are those crosses respectively:
Amber takes (Red) Siberian Husky:
She's quite thick-coated but she doesn't fall under "Woolly Husky" coat type.
Red (Irish) Setter Stacy:
Dominika... So This dog is obviously a Belgian Malinois maybe crossed with something fluffier (unless the listing change from Mali to Terv is accurate, then she's just a lil odd) but she looks exactly like this:
Saluki Lydia:
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it's so fascinating letting my dogs tell me how old they are, developmentally
like, when she was 11 weeks, Hazard let K'seil commit full on murder. she could stand on his head. she could stand on his back. she could bite his lip and hang from it like a tree decoration. she could drink from the water bowl with him, even if she shoved her way in there.
the only thing she couldn't do was she couldn't take a chew he had in his mouth, which is reasonable and fair.
now that she's 5 months, things have shifted a bit and it's so cool to watch. because without being unfair or mean, Hazard has made it clear that he now wants to be asked to play first, he is not a tug toy or chew toy, and he has personal space thank you.
they will still cuddle! he still loves her to bits and likes to play with her! but she's growing up and he's holding her to different standards.
it's not resource guarding because it's extremely appropriate--she can't take a chew away from him, but she can have her own chew and literally shove it into his elbow and he tolerates that. but if he's drinking from the water bowl she needs to wait her turn. which she's learning.
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maybe it's because I'm in the "I'm so obsessed and hyperfocused on my little guys I will make any song seem like it's about them even if it couldn't be any father from actually relating to them at all" stage of my Theon and Asha hyperfixation but like...
I feel like 'I bet on losing dogs' by Mitski is about them.
it's about Asha and her relationship with Theon.
he's her baby brother. the baby brother who looked up at her smiled when she had gone in his room, intent on strangling him to stop his cries. he's her losing dog. the dog she keeps fighting for when no one else will. she never gives up on him, not truly, even when he is so clearly doomed, because she loves him, she won't give up on him.
and Theon is, in so many senses, a dog. he's been passed around from owner to owner, home to home, trained and beaten and domesticated, made to behave how his owner at the time sees fit. he's a good dog, a good beaten dog.
and now, in a way, he's Asha's dog. she doesn't want him to be her dog, she wants him to be her brother, and Theon's trying, he really is trying, she knows he's trying, but part of him will always be doomed to be a dog waiting to be hit, waiting for a command, waiting to be trained.
he's her losing dog, she knows it, knows he's doomed, deep down, there's little hope, he'll die a damned dog, but fuck it she doesn't care, he's her blood, her baby, he will be by her side no matter what. she'll always go back for him, she'll always fight for him, she'll always tell him to stay, she'll always give him a chance, she'll always try.
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Sally, Hallie, and Wally
Everyone on this lovely day at home was up to their usual day activities. Come look at the bees and butterflies, the flowers and trees may even catch your eyes. The best things are yet to come! Speaking of which Sally and Wally were heading towards the only shop in the neighborhood, but Sally stopped when she saw Hallie near Frank's shrubbery just the person she needed
Sally: “Hallie! Oh your just the gal I needed we've been looking everywhere for you”
The star approached Hallie whom was a little confused but she smiles and greeted both Wally and Sally, Wally simply sat down on a flower bed Sally leaned against a tree
Hallie: “Well? Uh I'm not exactly a recluse you can just find me in my bakery”
“I know, I know but I needed to ask something your a witch right-”
Hallie quickly shushed Sally putting her hands over the star’s mouth as other neighbors walked by all they could hear was Sally's muffled speech Wally didn't react, was he staring off into the distance or busy watching the bees and butterflies? Nobody was sure
Hallie: “Please don't speak this loudly about me not all the neighbors know and I don't want them too please.” Sally nodded which made Hallie move her hands away “and it's pumpkin witch but yes still technically a witch what is it that you need?”
Sally: “Well a neighbor of ours who…shall remain nameless is head over heels for another but he's too afraid to admit he has the hots for her could you maybe-”
Hallie: “no”
The pumpkin witch cut Sally off abruptly before she could even finish her sentence Sally blinked a few times baffled at this before mustering a sentence
“N-no?” “No definitely not I'm not making you a love potion”
Sally: “Why!? Come on it'd help him I know it will”
Hallie: She crossed her arms and tilted her head “riight and what happened inside of A Midsummer Night's Dream?”
Sally tapped at her chin thinking for a bit before she spoke putting her hand to the side “puck makes a mistake and…. accidentally starts a love triangle” she lowered her hands to her side
Hallie simply raised a brow as Sally spoke again “but that was a honest mistake” Hallie poked her in the chest
Hallie: “an "honest mistake" that lead to a love triangle and a broken heart! Love potion's suck it's never real love you don't want this neighbor to be stuck in a one sided relationship it will lead to sadness on both sides because it's not real it's like a poison I don't want that for anyone” Hallie sighed running her fingers through her hair “look love has to be mutual on both ends if you want something one sided then it's better that you both don't date each other”
Sally nodded as she understood what Hallie meant so she reluctantly sighed and decided to drop it she rubbed her temples before looking back to her
Sally: “well do you have any suggestions for that.. neighbor cause I'm kinda tired of him”
Hallie: “Well I suggest that he is honest about his love if he loves her that much he shouldn't be afraid to show it if he's not ready then he should do small things for her like I dunno gifts or Chocolates”
Hallie just shrugged not really knowing what to suggest Sally thought for a bit as she then turned to Wally an idea sparking in that theatrical mind of her's!
Sally: “Ah! Brilliant idea Hallien I know just the thing and you know him best! Isn't that right waliford?”
.
.
.
End tape
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