Chapter Summary: Why has Kravitz gone unresponsive on all channels? What have Barry and Noelle been planning? Who, if anyone, is left on Taako’s list of people to be trusted? Find out the answers to all these questions and more, right now on Fear The Reaper A Lot, Actually!
Characters: Kravitz, Taako, Barry Bluejeans, Angus McDonald, Magnus Burnsides, Merle Highchurch, Noelle | No-3113, The Raven Queen, The Director | Lucretia, misc. BoB cameos, Julia Burnsides, Garyl
Relationships: Taakitz, Angus McDonald & Taako, Barry Bluejeans & Kravitz, Kravitz & Angus McDonald
(chanting) ghost fight ghost fight ghost fight
***
Kravitz landed ankle-deep in an underground lake, scarcely twenty feet away from the red-robed figure on the shore. Barry’s head was turned, and he gave no sign of noticing Kravitz’s arrival, but it was clear where his focus was directed — a small mob of six freshly animated undead, occupying the full spectrum between zombie and skeleton.
Wasting no time, Kravitz threw himself at the lich, scythe blazing to life with a silent radiance.
Barry had really snapped, if he was out here raising the dead without any wards to hide himself. Even without the summons, this stunt could’ve appeared as a beacon on Kravitz’s radar at any moment, and that wasn’t at all like the Barry he’d known —
Heeding to his nagging suspicions, Kravitz slowed his pace — but Barry still didn’t move, and Kravitz felt his reluctant scythe slice through illusory red cloth, then tangible rotting flesh and brittle bone.
Fuck.
Leaping back from the disguised zombie, he decorporealized as fast as he could — just in time to withstand a light that felt blinding even to his undead senses, burning even to his formless soul. When the sunbursts faded and he returned to his reaper form, dazed, he barely glimpsed a robotic silhouette duck behind a rock formation on the other side of the lake, revealed only by her still-glowing cannon arm.
“Noelle, you backstabber!” Waves of magical force whipped off Kravitz’s scythe, hurtling across the cave and towards her hiding place. “I was rooting for you —”
Jagged spires of ice burst out from the lake, intact for less than a second before intercepting the force wave, and the two spells neutralized each other with an explosion of roaring wind and frozen shrapnel. Before Kravitz could attack again, a skeleton’s clawlike fingers dug deep into his right shoulder, and he launched himself into the air with a flick of his cloak to shake the attacker loose.
But before he could reach his intended altitude, a few yards short of the stalactite-dotted ceiling, something pulled him to a stop — not a bony hand at his shoulder this time, but a fuzzy constricting sensation around his scythe-bearing arm. When he looked down, he saw a web of tangled red threads, impossibly thin yet ensnaring him from wrist to mid-biceps — and every single one of them led back to Barry Bluejeans.
When Kravitz saw the real Barry, floating a few feet above the undead horde on the lake’s near shore, he couldn’t believe he’d fallen for the disguised zombie. This Barry was glowing with power, with desperation, with determination — but his form remained as composed and his expression as unreadable as ever. The only exception was his own right arm, around which his robe had unravelled up to the elbow — not just exposing smoke-black bones, but freeing the threads of that sleeve to go on the offensive, humming with an intensity that made Kravitz’s own bones shake as he tried, unsuccessfully, to decorporealize and escape.
He’d never seen anything like it before — but then again, he’d also never seen Barry come after him, instead of the inverse, and wasn’t that an equally urgent and terrifying mystery to unravel?
“Why, Barry?!” Kravitz shouted. “Why now?!”
Barry narrowed his eyes, and with a flick of a spectral hand, hurtled Kravitz down towards the rocky shore. Channeling another force blast through his free limbs, Kravitz flung himself to the right, but his downward momentum stayed with him, and he plunged into the lake with enough momentum that he hit the bottom with a sickening crunch.
You can give up any time. Barry’s voice echoed inside his head as electricity coursed through the threads, sending both Kravitz’s mind and body reeling. But I never will.
I’m sure you’re right that you won’t give up, Kravitz thought back with all the determination he could muster, still submerged in the lake, but like it or not, that’s one thing we’ve got in common.
Fighting through what must’ve been a potent paralysis spell, he summoned his scythe into his unrestricted hand and swung it at the threads, expecting to slice cleanly through most of them — but his blade was met with a fierce resistance, and though sparks of red and blue magic exploded from the point of contact, he didn’t feel a single thread snap.
He did feel Barry recoil, letting out a psychic scream that would’ve haunted a mortal for months, and drawing the threads back into his robe to let Kravitz free — which would be cause for celebration, if only it wasn’t supposed to be impossible. No part of a lich’s essence should withstand a reaper’s most sacred weapon — it was simply the way the world worked, the way the world was supposed to work.
Barry was stunned and convulsing, true — but the undead that Kravitz knew didn’t go through death throes, either, and Kravitz could only assume that the being he once would’ve called a lich was on the verge of recollecting himself.
What is Barry made of? What is he, and what happens if I try to reap a whole robe’s worth of those threads? Can I even reap him? Do I have any chance of winning this fight?
“Mister Bluejeans!” Noelle shouted from behind some stalagmite, but she was rapidly descending on the list of Kravitz’s top concerns.
As he burst to the surface, seeing Barry regain his composure, Kravitz began to chant as quickly as he could, offering a prayer to the Raven Queen and infusing the water of the lake with her power. When Barry’s eyes — gleaming white within a faint halo of blue — fixated on him again, Kravitz was ready, and he tore open a rift from the bottom of the lake to a point just above Barry’s head.
The ensuing deluge passed straight through Barry’s lich form with the telltale hiss of celestial magic burning away at an undead soul, and Kravitz allowed himself a relieved grin as Barry vanished into the waterfall. No matter how resistant Barry was to his scythe, there were always at least a few tricks that could hurt any lich under Faerun’s sun —
Then the crimson silhouette within the waterfall raised a hand, and the sapphire-blue edges of Kravitz’s portal turned an ashen gray as the rift shriveled and closed with a pop. Barry emerged from the water with hardly a shudder, wisps of magical steam rising off a red robe that was otherwise no worse for wear.
“Sorry to disappoint you,” said Barry, sounding genuinely apologetic, “but I spent the last few cycles building up an immunity to holy water.”
He extended his hands, firing a bolt of necrotic energy from each of his ten fingertips, but Kravitz twirled his scythe with a flick of his hand, reforming it as a shield emblazoned with swooping raven wings. Each bolt ricocheted off it in a different direction, and Barry clenched his hands into fists, channeling the spell’s residual energy into two spheres of consolidated dark magic. He hurled them in mirror-image arcs, both circling back towards Kravitz from behind —
With another flick of Kravitz’s wrist, his shield became two identical lightweight scythes, each intercepting a different sphere before the whirlwind of blades propelled Kravitz towards the ceiling, equal with Barry’s altitude. Expecting Barry to flee, but not about to risk an opening going to waste, Kravitz charged — but Barry snapped his fingers, and two discarded femurs from the bottom of the lake flew to his side, transforming into a pair of crimson scimitars and crossing to catch the blade of Kravitz’s first scythe.
The blow from the second scythe was more precise, and sent the scimitars hurtling across the cave, but Barry clapped his hands together, and they flew back to his defense, exchanging a flurry of increasingly rapid blows with Kravitz. One of them grazed the cuff of his jacket, and as he dove out of the way, he deliberately bashed his sapphire blades together, releasing a sunburst of blue light — and more importantly, a wave of thunderous force to fracture the scimitars, which Kravitz shattered with one final swing of his scythe.
He returned his focus to Barry himself, and realized — too late — that a single red thread of his sleeve had once again unraveled. Kravitz preemptively turned skeletal, surrounding himself with ghostly flames he hoped would make Barry think twice about trying to restrain him — but instead, Barry swung the stray thread towards the ceiling, where it cleaved through stalactites like a red-hot wire through butter, and a barrage of newly-freed spears rained down on Kravitz.
Only one struck him — barely bruising his shoulder in the fraction of a second before he decorporealized, and his soul-light possessed the stalactite itself. Barry summoned two more elongated bones to his side, but before he could transform them into scimitars, Kravitz hurtled his new form at them with such force that they crashed into the damp cave wall, shattering both the bones and stalactite while releasing Kravitz’s soul.
“It’s time to explain yourself!” Kravitz shouted, rematerializing and conjuring a dual-bladed scythe. Explain your lichdom, the Grand Relics, Taako’s unexplained deaths and missing memories —
With both hands, he spun the scythe like a baton, generating a vortex of blue lightning drawn from the essence of the Astral Plane itself. “This ends NOW!”
Undaunted, Barry shrugged. “Y’know, I did try to warn you the apocalypse was imminent,” he said nonchalantly, and melted into the shadows cast upon the wall.
The lightning pulverized stalactites across the cave, rendering even its darkest corners in brilliant blue light, but Barry had retreated too far into the earth for the magic to touch him — and in a way, it was almost reassuring, if only because the rest of this encounter had felt so alien.
This was the Barry that Kravitz knew, the Barry that would casually say something ominous before disengaging and vanishing off the map for the next three to eight months — but the moment of reassurance didn’t last long, because Barry reappeared on the lakeshore with his undead minions a moment later, and no, Kravitz was not falling for that again.
His scythe transformed into a longbow, a sapphire arrow already nocked. When he let it fly, it pierced the illusory red robe without a sound, and Barry’s deception vanished with a puff of smoke.
Where did you really go, Bluejeans?
He glimpsed some kind of shadow at the bottom of the lake, but before he could identify it, the surface froze over — and then, with a mighty creak, it rose, first as rapid-fire spears that Kravitz dodged with ease, but then as staggered subsections that formed a staircase — or as the terrestrial skeletons and zombies saw it, a perfect opportunity to charge at Kravitz.
The three who lead the assault fell in a volley of just as many arrows, but before the rest could arrive, Kravitz swung his bow around himself in an arc, transforming it back into a scythe just in time to strike the staircase with maximum force and shatter the ice. The remaining undead plummeted into the lake of still-blessed water, dissolving in a flash of light and a plume of steam.
“Not as resilient as your creator, eh?” Kravitz quipped, but not quite loud enough to miss the crackle of electricity behind him, and he somersaulted in midair to evade a crimson lightning bolt. Undeterred, Barry fired again, then a third time with two bolts at once, but Kravitz had no trouble dodging — though he realized, not a moment too soon, that Barry’s otherwise ineffective spells were driving him backwards and down, towards the rocky shore where Barry had raised the dead.
Not so fast, Kravitz thought, and plunged his scythe into the wall. Halfway across the cave, a massive blue crystal burst out from among the stalactites, missing Barry by a hair — but as he absconded, more sapphires tore through the cave ceiling, cutting him off at every angle until he was trapped in a cage of jagged crystalline fangs. Kravitz trembled from the exertion, bones rattling beneath his skin, but he didn’t have to maintain the spell for long — because through the translucent sapphires, he saw Barry’s silhouette clap two lightning-wreathed hands together, and an explosion of thunder pulverized every crystal in the cave. Kravitz morphed his scythe into a shield just in time to deflect the brunt of it, but the sheer force sent him flying backwards, and he landed on his feet on the lakeshore, exhausted but alert.
“I really am sorry, Kravitz. You seem like a decent guy.” Barry’s words echoed across the cave, making it impossible to tell if the slight distortion was coming from his own voice or simply the acoustics. “I’d always hoped that — that somehow, it wouldn’t turn out like this —”
“Oh, that’s real rich coming from you, Barry J. ‘created the Animus Bell and picked a fight with the Grim Reaper’ Bluejeans,” Kravitz retorted, switching his shield back into a scythe with none of the usual dramatic flourish. “You’re talking like my fate is sealed, but you haven’t won yet —”
Kravitz paused — because for the first time in twelve years of hunting Barry Bluejeans and ten years of knowing him, he could perfectly read the expression on Barry’s cowled semblance of a face. It was triumph, clear as day, and colored mainly by relief…
But not without an edge to it, a telltale hint of smugness.
“No, I think I have won,” Barry said. “Remember — you’re still outnumbered.”
A bolt of scorching light lanced down from above, rupturing the ground before Kravitz’s feet with all the red-hot fury of a meteor impact. He flung himself backwards, trying to escape the brunt of the attack — but the explosion hurtled him to the very back of the cave, where his spine met the cold limestone wall at high velocity, and he toppled to the ground before he could get his bearings.
“No,” he whispered. “No, I’m not outnumbered.” His ears rang, and lights danced across all but the most peripheral corners of his vision, but he still pulled himself to his feet, bracing himself against the wall. “I am the Raven Queen’s champion, and she will not let you escape me again —”
He extended an arm, to summon back the scythe he’d lost his grip on…
But for the first ever time, after more than eight centuries in the Queen’s undead flock, his scythe didn’t heed his call.
He could see it on the ground, barely ten feet away and undamaged as far as he could tell. But it didn’t move an inch, much less spring back into his hand — and only then, for the first time since arriving in the cave, did Kravitz notice the dark gray runes carved all around him, separating him from his weapon.
A trap, which had been Barry’s endgame all along. A trap, which Kravitz had flung himself right into.
Noelle floated to ground-level, hovering next to Barry and exchanging a few words that Kravitz’s ears still rang too much to hear. Making the most of their distraction, Kravitz lunged for his scythe with nothing to lose — but a shimmering, opalescent barrier sprung up from the runes, and he bounced off of it, shoulder first.
Barry glanced at him, and just sighed — which manifested, for a breathless entity made up of pure magic, as something more like a low electric crackle. “This was how I didn’t want it turn out, Kravitz.”
Kravitz ignored him, closing his eyes and raising his fingers to his temples. My Queen, I’m outmatched. I beseech you —
He ceased his prayer, his eyes flying open. It was wrong, all wrong, the terrifying gut-churning kind of wrong — and worst of all, he knew exactly why.
No electric blue buzz had reached him when he’d prayed to his goddess. It would be one thing if the Raven Queen hadn’t replied, but Kravitz hadn’t even been able to open a channel of communication in the first place.
And his scythe, he now realized, was not damaged nor unresponsive. He simply no longer had the ability to summon it — because The Raven Queen, and all the powers she’d graced him with, were completely cut off by Barry’s spell.
For the first time in countless lifetimes, Kravitz was alone.
***
Taako jumped when he heard the second knock of the day, expecting a barrage of accusations from the Director to follow — but it was Angus’s voice, not Lucretia’s, that called out to him a moment later.
“Sir? Do you mind if I come in? There’s something I need to talk to you about!”
Taako pressed his ear to the door. He couldn’t hear anyone else in the hallway, but that didn’t mean they weren’t there. “Talk about what, Agnes?”
“Oh, uh… I’d rather not say while I’m standing out here. It’s kinda personal…” Angus lowered his voice. “And you know the drill, prying eyes and ears.”
Taako’s heart skipped a beat — because Angus McDonald, light of his life and the closest thing to a son he could imagine ever having, knowing information too dangerous to speak out loud — was scarier than any apocalyptic nightmares or even malfunctioning arrows.
Pointing his Umbra Staff at the door and tapping his forehead, Taako extended his sense of sight outside, verifying that the hallway was deserted — aside, of course, from one innocent-looking boy detective. With that information confirmed, he cracked the door open and grabbed Angus by the vest, yanking him inside before Angus could even get a protest in edgewise.
“You bring your Stone of Farspeech?” Taako asked, fidgeting with locks both magical and arcane. “Power it down, right now.”
“But — but I’m waiting for a text back from —”
Taako snapped his fingers, silencing the Stone in Angus’s pocket. “Well, suck it up and wait a little longer, kid, because the Director’s listened in on me through those things before and I’m sure she’ll do it again — so how’s that for prying ears? I’m about to be in enough trouble as is, I can’t let you get implicated too —”
Angus glanced around the room, gaze lingering on the ruins of the coffee table and the ashen footprints tread across the rug. “Sir, are you… okay? You’re acting like Caleb Cleveland whenever a case-changing discovery sends him spiraling into paranoia —”
“I — okay, look. The day got off to a rough start, but — but you worry way too much about me, kid.” How had Taako already fucked up this badly, confirming there was a conspiracy afoot and getting the kid invested? He should’ve just begged Angus to stay quiet, to stay away from him.
“I — I just can’t tell you what’s happening, Angus, for your own good! I shouldn’t have even let you in here in the first place, when I don’t know what’s going on or how to protect —”
With a hug, Angus knocked the wind out of Taako’s lungs and the wizard hat off of his head. “Sir, I found something big too! I didn’t know how to face it alone, but I couldn’t find Noelle, and Kravitz hasn’t texted me back —”
He smiled. “And I came to you, because I’m sure we can figure this out together. You just have to trust —”
“I trust you implicitly, Ango. You know this,” Taako blurted out. “I trust you with my life.
“I suspected as much, though it’s nice to hear you say it.” Angus met his eyes. “But I meant that you have to trust yourself with mine.”
Taako closed his eyes, and saw Glamour Springs. Forty people, fatally poisoned.
“I need to know what you know, sir. It might put me in danger — but there’s no one else I’d rather have watching my back. I’ll be okay, I really will — I believe in us!”
Phandalin. Eight-hundred and fifty people, all incinerated.
“And if it helps, sir… I trust you. Both implicitly and rationally.”
The return to Wave Echo Cave in search of liches. Angus imperiled, but alive.
Taako wasn’t sure when he’d first started hugging Angus back, but he hugged a little tighter, just for good measure. “I just don’t want to put any more pressure on you than I already have, little guy. Your job’s hard work, and I keep making it harder —”
“I know my limits better now. Kravitz helped me with that,” Angus assured him. “I’ll tell you if it ever gets to be too much, I promise.”
“Yeah, you better.” Taako took a deep breath, then another, coming a little closer to spilling the truth with each inhale. “So, I guess… I’d better tell you about the second Voidfish.”
“I knew it!” Angus exclaimed, but lowered his voice as he went on, seeing Taako flinch. “I knew the Bureau wasn’t telling us everything! How did you figure it out?”
“Garyl helped — he’s immune, apparently,” Taako whispered. “He was making me paranoid, so I unsummoned him — but earlier today, he said I lost a bunch of my memories twelve years ago, and it might’ve all been Lucretia’s master plan —”
“Twelve years?” Angus echoed. “Kravitz said your bounties showed up twelve years ago, at the same time as Barry and Lup — and believe it or not, also the Director and Davenport, of all people!”
Taako collapsed onto the couch, for what felt like the tenth time that morning. “I don’t think my brain can physically unpack all of this, so I’m just gonna ask — when did Kravitz say this? Have you talked to him recently?”
“This was just earlier this morning! He was the person I was expecting to text me back, actually — but did something happen?”
Taako stomach dropped. “Did — did he tell you anything that showed up as static?”
“He did! Something about your bounties and the relics that I just couldn’t grasp! That was how I figured out there was another —”
“Shit,” Taako muttered. “I hate to break it to you, Angus, but our little rogue detective bureau’s first order of business might be figuring out what the hell happened to Kravitz.”
Angus gasped. “You think some necromancers captured him? Or — or the Director?”
“I don’t know! Maybe both — maybe Lucretia is the evil necromancer behind all of this! Or maybe it’s Davenport, or it’s Barry after all, or whoever the hell Lup is —”
His umbrella unfurled in his lap, its handle swinging up to hit him in the chin before it tumbled to the ground. “Hey, learn to read the room! You think I have time to deal with you causing problems on purpose right now?!”
Angus pursed his lips. “Where did you get that Umbra Staff anyway? Seems like it’s more trouble than it’s worth.”
“Oh, you don’t know the half of the trouble this thing has given me, Ango. I found it on the original Wave Echo Cave trip — kinda near the Relic, actually. Former owner was just a skeleton in a… oh shit, that’s right. A skeleton in a fucking red robe.”
Angus just stared at him, dumbfounded, for ten full seconds before he pulled out his notebook and jotted the information down. “You and the other Reclaimers are terrible at passing on relevant information, you know that?”
“In my defense, I have severe undiagnosed memory loss!” Taako shot back. “And it’s been, like, eight months? Ten? See, I can’t even remember how long it’s been!”
“Wait. Hang on.” Angus sat down his notepad and closed his eyes. “If the Red Robes made the Grand Relics… you told me that Barry has mentioned Lup by name, correct?”
Taako nodded, then upon realizing Angus’s eyes were still closed, he spoke up. “Yeah.”
“So we can reasonably assume Lup’s a Red Robe, too. She’s been missing for ten years, last seen in Wave Echo Cave — and I would hazard a guess, specifically in the part of the cave that housed the Phoenix Fire Gauntlet. The part of the cave where you found your Umbra Staff.”
“And the worst times the umbrella has ever malfunctioned,” Taako realized aloud, heart pounding, “were when either Kravitz or I was about to hurt Barry.”
“Your staff doesn’t just absorb arcane foci, does it?” Angus gasped. “It absorbed an entire lich. We thought we’d never find Lup — but she’s been under our noses all along.”
***
“Barry, how? How did you do this?”
Noelle was still looking at Kravitz, but Barry had turned away, seemingly with no purpose in mind besides cultivating a sullen appearance.
“Took some inspiration from an entity I already knew could cut off planes from each other, and gods from their emissaries,” he muttered after a few seconds. “Not too proud of it, but you forced my hand.”
There was the confirmation Kravitz had been looking for, yet dreading — because Kravitz needed a font of magic, needed the Raven Queen, not just to fight but to exist in any capacity. His soul would burn out, drained by the exertion of maintaining physical form, without a direct line to either her or her dominion of the Astral Plane — gods, his soul should’ve burnt out already, within seconds of being sealed in.
“No, I mean — how am I still here, Barry?” How am I still half-alive?
“Arcane core buried a few feet beneath you.” Barry’s voice was practically monotone, and the concerned frown on Noelle’s display didn’t escape Kravitz’s notice. “Should fuel your soul at least until the end of the world. Maybe longer.”
He shuddered, though he kept it together — and unlikely as he was to admit it, even Kravitz was starting to feel a little worried for the lich who’d just spared his not-quite-life.
“You could’ve killed me like this at any point,” he pointed out. “During any of those ten years. Why didn’t you, if I’ve been such an impediment to your master plan —”
Barry whirled around, teleporting to a spot right outside the barrier with a clap of thunder and a spray of sparks. “You think this was a type of magic I wanted to mess with? You think I did this for my own sake?! I only did this so you wouldn’t kill my family!”
He and Kravitz stood face to face-shaped void — and there was something unsteady about that void and the lights inside, something telling Kravitz that if Barry had a true face at the moment, his expression would’ve just crumpled.
“Your family,” Kravitz echoed. “The other Red Robes. Magnus, Merle, and… Taako.”
“I’d do this all again to protect them,” Barry rasped. “No matter how convinced you are that you’re in the right, I can’t let you reap them —”
“I’m not going to reap them!” Kravitz blurted out, and the threads of Barry’s robe froze in place.
“What?!”
Kravitz raised his hand. “I swear I won’t! On my oath to the Raven Queen!”
Barry went not just perfectly still, but utterly silent, until Noelle spoke up. “Why not?!”
“We worked out a deal! I assumed you heard —” Before Kravitz knew it, he was laughing, even well aware that it made the lich in the room look like the sane one by comparison. “Gods, Barry. I really thought you were some kind of omniscient memory-wiping mastermind, leading a massive conspiracy with informants everywhere — but you didn’t even know I was letting the Reclaimers go! You’re just a family man who happens to be undead and a colossal pain in my ass! I can’t believe this!”
“What — what do you know about the memory wiping?” Barry finally spoke up, softer than Kravitz had ever heard him. “About the Voidfish?”
“Apparently not enough,” Kravitz admitted, lowering himself onto the floor of the cave and crossing his legs. “But… do you think could you tell me about it?”
Barry just stared at him for a few seconds, eventually glancing at Noelle, as if to check that she was just as dumfounded as he was. Then he turned back to Kravitz, and with a shrug, replied: “…I guess?”
Kravitz drummed his fingers on the ground — absorbing and channeling a trace of the arcane core’s aura, all while hoping Barry interpreted it as an absentminded tic, not one of deep and deliberate concentration. “If it’s not too much of a tangent, then literally any information on the apocalypse besides ‘it’s imminent’ would be nice.”
“Well, then,” Barry said slowly, “I guess I should start at the beginning. I wasn’t always a lich — I guess that was obvious, ‘cause that’s just how liches work — but I also wasn’t always a necromancer. I was totally fascinated with death, don’t get me wrong, and sometimes I dabbled in true necromancy against my better judgement, but it was… about as discouraged in my homeworld as it was here. So instead, I dedicated my life to studying interplanar travel.”
“Your homeworld,” Kravitz repeated, “which is… different from the Raven Queen’s domain? Different from this planar system?!”
“Probably shoulda led with that, huh?” Barry muttered. “Yeah, I’m technically an alien, and for a long time, I worked for an alien space agency. We searched for signs of life, or even mere existence, outside our own planar system, but we kept hitting dead ends — until a light we almost mistook for a meteor fell from the sky, and changed everything. We called it the Light of Creation, and it…”
He sighed. “You could say it enthralled us. It illuminated these underlying mechanisms of not just magic, but broadly speaking, interactions — between things, between worlds, between people. We called them bonds, and with the way we were studying them so single-mindedly, it didn’t even take us a year to build a spaceship that could run on the things. Seven of us flew that ship off the material plane on her maiden voyage, and — well, you can read all our names straight from your book of bounties. Our captain was Davenport, and Lucretia was our chronicler, while Merle was the biologist, and Magnus — oh, Magnus was the best security system that a team of five wizards and a cleric could wish for. I was chief science officer, of course, and… Taako and Lup, the twins, were the arcanists.”
“Oh my gods,” Kravitz whispered. “Taako — I had Taako hunting Lup. He thought his life depended on —”
“He didn’t know.” Barry shuddered, red smoke escaping from his mouth as he spoke. “Neither of you did.”
Faced with any other lich, Kravitz would’ve braced himself for a breakdown and ensuing fallout, but today, he stayed seated to watch as calmly as he could — and sure enough, the smoke faded to a few harmless wisps as Barry went on.
“Sorry, I — I’m getting ahead of myself. The mission, the Starblaster mission, it was only supposed to last two months. But in our obsession with the Light, with the spaceship it made possible, we missed… warning signs leading up to our departure. Storm clouds hanging overhead, colors losing their luster, hell, even eyes in the sky and in the Ethereal Plane. When the seven of us took flight, we thought we were explorers — but in the blink of an eye, we became refugees, because right after we took flight, the Hunger descended on our world and devoured it whole.”
He must’ve noticed a shell-shocked expression on Kravitz’s face, because he went on: “Yeah, it’s a lot, even when you’ve had decades to process it. We fled to another planar system, and the Light of Creation followed us there — but so did the Hunger, and a year after arriving, it consumed yet another world without mercy. Magnus died fighting it, but I’m sure you see where this is going — when we materialized in the next planar system, he was as good as new, and the cycle repeated. We figured out that as long as one of us escaped the Hunger on the ship, anyone who died that year would return to life, and that if we could escape with the Light, the Hunger would only damage the plane instead of consuming it — but recovering the Light was about as consistent as rolling a pair of dice you hadn’t rigged, and the Hunger kept gaining on us.”
“And this,” Kravitz assumed, “was when you started practicing necromancy?”
“Yeah. I guess I could play it off as, I dunno, something I studied to understand how we kept getting revived every year, but… I’m not gonna lie to you. I was calling myself a necromancer by the third cycle because it was dangerous, and we needed dangerous magic to stand a chance against the Hunger.” A fondness crept into Barry’s voice, and Kravitz watched a small tear in his robe sew itself back together. “Lup and I didn’t become liches until decades later — just like we took our time with most things, I guess — and that was for power, too. But there weren’t any blood sacrifices, or any of that traditional ‘store your soul in an artifact of dark magic’ stuff — we powered our lich forms with bonds, the same things that powered our spaceship. We did it with the help of our family, to protect our family, and I’d do it all again. And Lup… I know she’d feel the same, if she were here.”
“Were you close? You and Lup, I mean?”
The lights of Barry’s not-quite-face blinked. “Gotta say, bud, after everything I just told you, that is not the question I thought you’d have for me. But… yeah, you could say that. We were in love for the better part of a century, and if you’ve ever seen me… not fall apart when I should have, it was because I was thinking of her. Reminding myself that if I gave up, then everything we’d worked for would be the next to come undone, and even worse, I’d — I’d never have a chance to see her again.”
“You don’t know where she is either,” Kravitz realized, and only noticed he’d spoken out loud when he saw Barry shrink backwards and wrap his arms around his chest, his robe folding in on itself like red light drawn towards a spluttering black hole.
“Wow, Kravitz,” Noelle spoke up, digitized voice dripping with sarcasm as she glared at him. “Way to not ask sensitive questions to the guy you just learned was powered by emotions —”
“I’m sorry!” Kravitz exclaimed, and he honestly meant it. “I wasn’t thinking —”
“No, I’ll be alright,” Barry insisted, with a confidence that suggested he’d survived worse breakdowns. No longer radiating lightning nor anguish, he floated right up to the opalescent barrier, even resting a hand on it. “You know, the Hunger’s kinda like this spell I used to trap you, ‘cept on steroids. It cuts off all the planes in a system before devouring them, but always goes for the Celestial Plane first, rendering the bonds between god and emissary unusable — and it’s done that so many times, Kravitz, it’s consumed so many deities and added them to its number. It’s impossible to defeat that kind of army, that never-ending march of fallen gods from fallen worlds older than memory — but Lup and I, we came up with a new plan. We knew the Hunger needed the Light to persist — so we hid that Light, splitting it in seven, to try and starve the Hunger out.”
He sighed. “And that’s how the refugees of my homeworld nearly destroyed yours with the Grand Relics.”
Though Barry had only confirmed his suspicions, Kravitz’s jaw still dropped. I was right. And Taako still has no idea. I need to tell him —
“We were enthralled, all of us, with the idea of finally stopping the Hunger,” Barry continued, drifting back from the barrier. “Not all of us in the same way — Lucretia had an idea that was different altogether, equally bad as it was — and when we descended from the sky to introduce the Relics, like demigods about to be undone by our hubris, we enthralled your world with conflict and bloodshed. Because the Light of Creation, at least in the form of the Relics we made from it, is a poison disguised as an antidote. It will always be… hungered for.”
He chuckled bitterly. “And here I am, confessing my family’s crimes to the one person in this universe who knows the cost of our actions better than anyone. Kravitz, on behalf of all of us — I’m so sorry that you and your world bore the consequences of our mess. I’m sure your job was an awful lot simpler before we showed up —”
“It was,” Kravitz agreed, “but maybe not for the reason you think. You know, before the Relic Wars, souls almost always retired to the Astral Plane without resistance… but victims of the Relics never rested quietly. I’m no stranger to ghosts with unfinished business, of course, but so many of them were still enthralled, as you put it — and before the wars dwindled out, there were constant rebellions and escape attempts that plunged the Astral Plane into chaos.” He paused. “Speaking of which. I always wondered why the Relic Wars ended when they did.”
“Good question.” Barry sighed. “Out of seven explorers, you know how many had the foresight to realize how dangerous the Grand Relics were? It was just one — Lucretia, the youngest, who knew before anyone else that we were about to poison this world. She had an alternate plan to defeat the Hunger, and though its side effects were just as unacceptable, she was in denial of those effects just like I was in denial about the Relics’ consequences. I — I hate talking about her like this, she’s family to me just like the rest of them, but — she needed the Light in one piece for her plan, so not long after Lup went missing trying to bring an end to the Relic Wars, Lucretia went and — she fed our mission archives to the Voidfish. A being that consumes information, and makes it incomprehensible unless you’ve been specifically inoculated… or, unless you’re undead.”
“So your family, and the world, both forgot the Grand Relics,” Kravitz finished. “Except you and me.”
“Exactly. But Lucretia still needed to collect all seven, and… well, there were only seven people in the world who could resist their thrall, and that was because they’d spent a century building up an immunity. And Fischer, that’s what Magnus named the Voidfish, eventually had a kid — or so I assume, because I don’t know where else Lucretia would get a baby alien jellyfish whose home plane was destroyed. Point is, Luce fed the baby certain things she needed kept secret, then inoculated Magnus, Merle, and Taako from the parent, so she could set them up as Reclaimers in her Bureau of Balance —”
“Wait, you mean that — that Lucretia from my list of bounties, and the Director I keep hearing about from Taako, are the same person?!”
“Yeah.” Barry nodded. “Do you know if Davenport’s also with the Bureau, by any chance? I haven’t seen him in — in a really long time.”
“If I’d known where he was, I would’ve arrested him for dying eleven times,” Kravitz replied without thinking, regretting it instantly when Barry glowered at him. “I mean, I would have before having this conversation, but not now! I swear!”
“You’re not bound to your oath while you’re cut off from your goddess,” Barry pointed out. “And I dunno why I just told you that, though I guess you seem like the kinda guy who’d stick to your word anyway —”
“Let’s backtrack to Lucretia,” Kravitz cut in. “What was her plan to stop the Hunger? Why was it so unacceptable, and… and why does she need the Light?”
Barry looked away, answering in a slowly fading voice.“She wanted to starve the Hunger out too, just like Lup and I were thinking. But she wanted to use the Light to create a shield around this planar system — and I know that sounds great in practice, but any barrier strong enough to keep out the Hunger would sever all this world’s extraplanar bonds. It would keep the Hunger out, but everything inside would be reduced to ash, and Lucretia… never wanted to believe that. I have to assume she still doesn’t believe it, and will go ahead with her shield as soon as she reclaims the last two Relics. The Temporal Chalice, and the Animus Bell.”
“Well, shit,” Kravitz muttered, earning a grunt of agreement from Barry. “So our options — our only three options are being turned to ash, fighting a losing battle with an eldritch abomination, and continuing to let the Relics tear this world apart?”
“It’s… a little too late for that last one, actually.” Barry shook his head. “The Hunger’s got a lock on our planar system now — Noelle told me she saw stars disappearing, and that means we’re down to a matter of months.”
“Oh gods, that’s why there’s fewer stars? I thought I was going crazy!” Kravitz gasped, turning to Noelle. “Barry told you all this as well?”
Noelle bobbed up and down slightly, presumably to indicate a nod. “He filled me in on the highlights. Then a bit more detail ‘bout the Hunger, when I asked him just a couple hours ago if he knew why the constellations looked off.”
“I can’t believe this,” Kravitz sighed. “I should’ve just asked you to explain yourself years ago! You could’ve cleared up so much —”
“I should’ve tried to tell you more,” Barry admitted, “but the truth sounds so insane that I didn’t think you’d believe the whole unfiltered thing. Hell, I’m amazed you believe me right now —”
“Uh, actually, about that…” Kravitz smiled sheepishly, instinctively crossing his arms behind his back to hide his soon-to-be-implicated spellcasting hands. “I appreciate you leaving me some magic when you cut me off from the Raven Queen, but in the interest of… honesty, you should know that before I joined the Queen’s retinue, I was a bard. My powers are limited right now, since I don’t have an instrument on me, and even with one I wouldn’t have expected this to work — but a couple minutes ago, I cast Zone of Truth on you.” He shrugged. “Being a last-ditch effort as it was, I kind of assumed you’d notice it —”
Barry threw his head back with a guffaw of laughter, and his hood fell to his shoulders, unveiling a mass of dark smoke that resembled a mullet. “Oh, Merle would be so proud!”
“Is that supposed to be a compliment?” Noelle wisecracked, and then all of them were laughing at poor Merle’s expense, just like three old friends who’d never, ever tried to kill or imprison or backstab each other.
“Yes, it is a compliment,” Barry chuckled, “but don’t you dare tell him I got got by a Zone of Truth, or I’ll never hear the end of it!”
“I, uh, I’ve got one more backstory question, if you don’t mind,” Kravitz began as his laughter died down, and Barry’s attention immediately returned to him. The lich was easier to read with his cowl down, revealing cues like the quizzical, attentive tilt of his head.
“Yeah? Shoot.”
“I saved this one for last because I’m asking in… well, mostly my own self-interest…” Kravitz took a breath. “But does Taako have any, um, still-relevant love interests he lost his memories of?”
“Oh my gods, Kravitz…”
“I like him a lot, even though it’s still early — but I’d feel awful replacing a partner he was ripped away from, especially under these circumstances —”
“A truce with the Grim Reaper is one thing!” Barry shouted to no one in particular. “But being the Grim Reaper’s brother-in-law? Being Taako’s best man when he and the Grim Reaper get married?!”
Kravitz beamed. “Okay, I’ll take that as a no!”
Still chuckling, Barry silently snapped his fingers. A dozen runes flashed before going dark forever, and a moment later, the opalescent barrier faded away.
“I tell you what, bud,” he said. “You help me save all of reality, and I won’t even give you the shovel talk.”
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World Building June #9: Religion & Cosmology
Welp, this is a bigg’un, which is why it’s under a cut! :D
(written in collaboration w/ @aitu)
Church of the Hanged
The original major faith in Ortstreit believed that their royal line was descended directly from gods and were, thus, gods themselves. At a certain point, the people forgot their heavenly gods and began to believe that their kings and princes were the only gods worth worshipping. When the army of the Church of the One killed the last King and his son, this was taken as proof to many that they were never gods at all, and maybe the new religion was worth looking into.
The Church of the One, also known as the Church of the Hanged, is founded on one very simple tenant: there is only one god, known as the One, and anyone who claims otherwise are either deluded or lying. Each year, a hundred or so children and young adults come to the independent Holy City at the center of the four states to offer their lives to the Church. There, they might be trained to be priests, sent martyriums to become monks, taught to be scribes, or else enlisted into the Order of the Noose, a holy order of knights and soldiers dedicated to the defense of the Faith and all of Ortstreit. Before the great War of the Faiths ended, the Order of the Noose (whose members are often known as Hangmen while civilians are known as Ropers) had a lot more to do. Nowadays, they are most often sent to the uncertain borders between Yachssid/Altamesa and the Elven Empire to fight off the encroaching elvish threat. They are heavily monitored by local forces because, while the elves are obviously the biggest threat to the various nations on the continent, the War of the Faiths is only barely outside living memory.
There is a little controversy that springs up sometimes; while it is very common for people to beseech their patron martyrs for help in earthly matters, it sometimes comes a little too close to prayer for the comfort of most priests. The martyrs are meant to be intercessors, not gods in their own rights.
Blood Cult
In the northerly snow-covered badlands of Yachssid grows day by day a religion dedicated to their god of blood, Hemos. While they are not of any mind to dismiss other gods outright like the Church of the Hanged does, they do very much believe that Hemos is the one most worth worshiping. They see him as the god of blood, obviously, but attendant to that are other titles: the god of life (including birth and, ahem, menstruation), the god of love, the god of passion, the god of joy, the god of war, god of anything that can even be remotely connected to the very concept of “blood”. Consequently, the members of the Cult of Blood are more well-rounded and well-adjusted than one might think when the phrase “Cult of Blood” is uttered. The priests of their faith are the best medical professionals one can find, especially concerning bloodborne illnesses or problems involving the heart or circulatory systems. The holy texts of the Cult of Blood, the Sancto Sanguinis, is not available to outsiders, and even within the faith priests are the only ones to handle the sacred pages. As such, some skeptics have posited that the texts are in actuality advanced medical tomes, explaining the priests’ high level of medical expertise, though the priests themselves maintain that it is naught but the holy powers of Hemos flowing through their lowly earthly flesh.
Priests of the Cult of Blood are readily identifiable. Each one wears russet-colored plate armor under a surcoat of white with a crimson border around a red teardrop shape. The armor is often covered with large spikes, as deterrence. When asked why a priest would need to be armored, the response is something to the effect of, “to let none of our most holy bodily fluids escape from our imperfect, penetrable skin.”
As a religion centered around blood, they have very strong opinions regarding anything involving blood or bloodshed. Death by exsanguination is the worst way to die, in their view, as those who die of blood loss are cut off from Hemos’ holy fluids; thus, it is often used as a punishment for only the most dire of crimes. And while there has never been a verifiable report of a vampire, the superstitious belief in them is widespread throughout Yacchsid due to Blood Cult priests raising hell over the very concept, seeing evil bloodsuckers around every corner. Though on that note, deaths due to disease carried by parasites such as mosquitos, leeches, or ticks are often much lower in areas with high Blood Cult membership, as vampires aren’t the only bloodsuckers the priests despise.
Death Dyad:
In years gone by, there were probably many, many gods ruling over the Côte d’Rois. However, over time, all were forgotten but two: Lord Warren and Lady Mortimer, the mated god and goddess of death. While they remain primarily death gods, they have each absorbed some aspects of the wider forgotten pantheon as a matter of course. Lord Warren is a bipedal boar-man, like a minotaur in body makeup but with a human torso and arms. His body is battle-scarred and muscular, with one eye clouded over from an old injury. Lady Mortimer is a tall skeletal woman with the head of a vulture. She once had two wings and two arms, but her lover, Warren, tore off one of her wings and arms in a fight; in the same fight, she clawed his eye out. While her body is without flesh, there is some meat within her rib cage, everything else being bare bone. These two gods are paired in that each of them reigns over an afterlife dedicated to a different kind of death. Lord Warren is King of Violent Death. The people of the Côte d’Rois believe that, if one is murdered, a victim of manslaughter, or killed in battle, that person will go to Warren’s afterlife where they are free to fight without consequence or to feast without guilt, warm in eternal sunshine. Lady Mortimer, for her part, is Queen of Nonviolent Death. If a person dies of illness, of old age, in an accident, in childbirth, etc., then they go to Mortimer’s afterlife, where they are given eternal rest and relaxation in cool, comforting darkness.
Though recorded accounts are few and unverifiable, there is a belief among the faithful of the Côte d’Rois that if one dies before their time with an act or work of great import left undone or unfinished, that the god and goddess of death may see fit to grant the deceased a second, temporary lease on life as an undead revenant; this is called “The Last Dance”, because once the revenant has fulfilled their purpose for their undeath, they’ll return to death. Now, this gift is believed only to be granted in extraordinarily special circumstances, and Warren and Mortimer are said to require an agreement between them both that the cause is indeed noble enough to have earned it. While the gods were once deeply in love, it is theorized that the loss of their other godly compatriots, caused by a mortal loss of faith, pulled them apart. Now it is difficult for them to come to a decision together. This means that one ‘trial’ for a soul’s return to earth could, potentially, last years, decades, or, if one legend is to be believed, even centuries. Revenants are, as such, usually depicted as well-dressed skeletons or half-rotted horrors.
Orc Goddess Triad:
The basic tenants of the Threefold Temple are that the earth, sea, and sky are each controlled by and manifested by an orcish goddess with four arms. The earth goddess is eternally pregnant, warm, and maternal; her animal aspects are the cow and the bear. The sea goddess is raucous, playful, and unpredictable; her animal aspects are the dolphin and the shark. The sky goddess is the oldest and wisest of her sisters, but can be stormy and cruel at times; her animal aspects are the dove and the eagle. The Threefold Temple is named thus because each temple is led by three priests, each dedicated to a different goddess. These priests (or priestesses--the triad can come in any combination of genders) are bound together for life as siblings, and romantic/sexual relationships between members of the same triad is strictly forbidden. That being said, if a sea priest from Village A wants to marry a land priestess from Village B, that isn’t a problem. It’s only within an individual triad that these things are problematic. The priests’ main purpose is to intercede between their congregation and the goddesses; they pray to the sky for rain when it is dry; they pray to the earth for a good harvest; they pray to the sea for safe passage across her body.
There is a faction group of the Threefold Temple known as the Elementarians, who abhor the personification of the land, sea, and sky. They believe the faith should go back down to its base elements; rather than worshipping a goddess who CONTROLS the sea, they choose to worship the sea ITSELF, and so on. They are iconoclastic by nature and generally seen as poor sports and wet blankets. While virtue names such as Grace, Chastity, or Service are common enough to most Aetherrackian communities, Elementarian influence can be felt in the more… “unique” names, which often incorporate whole phrases. “Fear-The-Sky’s-Holy-Wrath Smith” is more likely to be from an Elementarian family, than “Charity Jones.”
As previously mentioned, the Threefold Temple (and the Elementarians, as a result) believes in reincarnation. The mainline Temple believes that the cycle of reincarnation can stop if one lives extremely morally; if one does enough good, their chosen patron goddess will select them after death to live forevermore in their respective resplendent queendom. The Elementarians, on the other hand, see an end to the cycle of reincarnation...through sin. If one is immoral, or sinful enough, they shall be plucked from the cycle of reincarnation by the land, sea, or sky and punished accordingly. The sea will make them into a grain of sand at the bottom of the deepest oceanic trench, the pressure of the ocean pressing down upon them. The sky will turn them the sinner into a single droplet of rain, trapped in the water cycle to be endlessly dropped, drunk, pissed out, and evaporated again. The earth will make the sinner into a rock to be trod upon forever. The Elementarians are a rather dour, judgemental folk as a result of this outlook.
Dwarves/Dark Elves
The dwarves say they have a thousand gods. This is inaccurate. They have a god for every kind of rock or mineral, spanning from precious diamond and gold to humble talc and flint. What these gods actually DO is anyone’s guess. Dwarves are a self-sufficient folk. They probably just like being able to say they have a thousand gods.
Elves:
The Elves of Enduria have a somewhat foggy sense of faith. If you asked an elf on the street what elves worship, they might answer, “Elves,” and you still wouldn't know where they stand, exactly. That is because some elves, usually rural or older, practice ancestor worship. This was once the status quo. If your crops wouldn’t sprout or your wife wasn’t becoming pregnant, you would you would pray to those who came before you for guidance, peace of mind, and luck, because they had gone through it all before and had usually survived just fine. Usually you would pray to your grandmother or grandfather, or else to a famous relative in your line. However, more ‘modern’ or city-dwelling don’t see the point in worshipping those who have died because, supposedly, there’s no good reason for elves to die at all. Instead, these elves worship elvishness itself--they see their very being as the utmost of grace, beauty, wisdom, longevity.
Altamesan pantheon that we haven’t covered
Boy. Those Altamesans. They got gods. They’re pretty mysterious, though. So mysterious even we the writers don’t know who/what they are.
General nature worship (fauns and satyrs + nymphs)
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