“You’re listening to Wraith Radio, your number one link to the living realm. I’m your host, the wandering ghost, Ellie Phantom. This week, we’re taking a tour of the cursed and creepy Gotham City. Longtime listeners will note that this place is nearly impossible to get into for us uninvited specters and spirits, but even longer time listeners will know my fun little method for getting around anti-ghost wards. That’s right, dear listeners, I’ve been playing human, and let me tell you, it may have been the best decision I’ve ever made.

Now, you all know how bored I can get playing human, what with the whole ‘being bad at being alive’ thing. I spend way too much time trying to remember things like how far a human body should be able to bend or how fast a heartbeat should go to have any real fun in my human form. In my defense, it’s not my fault my vital organs don’t work the way they should, that’s on the evil billionaire who made me. But anyway, I’m wandering through this place called Park Row, trying to practice breathing and blinking without needing to think about it, when all of a sudden this group of humans come out of nowhere, shooting each other.

Well, I love a good fight as much as the next ghost, so I get closer to them, try to see who’s on who’s side, who wants to put a bullet in who, when one of them grabs me and puts a gun to my head. So now there’s all this shouting, some threats get yelled out, and I’m thinking, ‘man… I am killing it with this human disguise!’ And it’s true, I was! They really thought I would die to a bullet! So I’m getting ready to phase out of this guy’s grip, maybe rough him up a little, when I see a bullet go straight through his arm. The guy drops me, and suddenly I’m hooked under this other guy’s arm, being thrown around like a potato sack.

And this is where it gets good. Because see, as fucked as my biology may be, I do have a damn good ghost sense. And this guy? He was about as ghost as any undead could be. Yeah, you heard me right, listener. The rumors are true. Gotham, as inhospitable it can be to any and all unwanted ghosts, does in fact have an undead population. Now, that’d be incredible on its own, but this guy? Folks, this guy was fucked. Up. You know that feeling you get when someone nearby gets punched in their core? That real quick ‘oh shit I gotta help this guy before they cease to exist’ feeling? Think that, but constant. Like this guy should be in so much unbelievable pain. And he’s throwing me around like I weigh nothing.

So I’m kind of freaking out, and I look up to ask this guy if he’s okay, and. Guys. You’re not gonna believe this. It was the Red Hood. He’s an undead. I know! It’s insane!

So he throws me to the side, kinda blocking me with his body while he’s shooting these people, and I think he told me to run at some point, but I’ll be honest, my brain just kinda stopped. Cause I’m not thinking about the fight anymore, now I’m thinking ‘holy shit, I need to get this guy to a doctor.’ I was actually in the process of starting to ask when one of the other guys’ bullets grazed me. So I decided against it.

Instead, I took out one of my spare inter-realm radios from my bag— always good to keep an extra in case the first gets destroyed— and one of the flyers for Wraith Radio with the airtime on it, and I snuck it into his pocket and disappeared.

And now, here we are, live on the radio, with— hopefully— Red Hood tuning in. So here we go: Red Hood, I am offering to bring you to the ghost zone doctors to get your core fixed. All I want in return is either an interview or a tour of your haunt, whichever you’re more comfortable with. You helped me out, stopping those guys from shooting me. Granted I would’ve been fine if they shot me, but you didn’t know that, so it still counts as a massive favor. I’m not gonna force you, obviously, but coming from someone whose unstable core almost melted her to death, I really think you should come with me. I doubt you remember much about the afterlife, what with the whole ‘being revived’ thing, but trust me when I say that getting an offer to go to this place as a human is rare, and probably won’t happen again. I will be waiting tomorrow at noon at the same place I was yesterday, hopefully not surrounded by people who wanna shoot me this time. Cool?

Anyway, back to talking about the city—”

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Jason stared at the glowing radio. He genuinely couldn’t believe what he was hearing. He remembered that girl, she was so scrawny that she looked like she could keel over at any minute. And apparently, she was some… horror radio show host? Sure, she pegged him as dead, but she probably said that about every interesting person she talked about on her show. And now she was going back to the same place she almost got shot? This kid was gonna get herself killed. Looks like he was going to have to talk some sense into her.

Part 2