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stargazer-balladeer · 4 years

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What kind of boyfriend are they? [Persona]

Characters Included: Akira Kurusu, Akechi Goro, Yosuke Hanamura, Yu Narukami, Minato Arisato & Shinjiro Aragaki

Note: I'm mixing Persona 3, 4 & 5! :3 Except all of them are my fav characters (HUSBANDOS—) ahem. Anyway. I hope ya'll enjoy this :3 (This is over 500+ words... whOOPS--)

Reader’s Gender: Neutral

Warning: Spoilers

Akira Kurusu

-Akira is the kind of boyfriend that teases the heck out of you. Like he loves to fluster you so much from embarrassment, whether from kissing you in public or simply holding your hands. He'll have that smirk on his face, its always present. (You're wondering if it's permanent though—)

-But I can also see Akira as the guy who loves someone, really loves that one (aside from the fact that he dates multiple girls in the game—). The reason why he teases you is because he loves you, and for that reason, when he finds that you are close to fainting or uncomfortable, he'll stop teasing you. He doesn't want you fainting or uncomfortable around him!

-He's also a natural romantic guy. Like he'll give you flowers and gifts (or trinkets he found). He wants to spoil you so much but he has limited money, so he resorted to small gifts and trinkets that reminded him of you. Your dates consist of staying at the LeBlanc, enjoying the cafe itself or inside the attic (i.e: his room).

-He loves affection so much, but not because he's touch-starved, he simply just loves you so much (yes, I'll say it over and over again :3). If you want cuddles, then cuddles you get. No matter where, but I think he prefers it private since, you know, his reputation? He just doesn't want to affect your reputation because of his ;-; But kisses, on the other hand, he can do it even in public, he has no shame -3- He'll even leave a kiss on you for teasing purposes (and to see your flustered self). He'll just laugh at your reaction, finding every reaction you have is cute on you. (He also has a picture of you as his wallpaper in his phone :) and his friends knows it since he shows it to them.. he's so proud and in-love with you :3)

-But if you don't like or uncomfortable of affection or him touching you, he understands. He'll always ask permission before holding you or kissing you. He respects your privacy and comfort more than his own. If you find uncomfortable, then he'll find a way for it to make it comfortable with you.

-I can see Akira giving his s/o a piggyback-ride, no matter whether you weigh heavily or just right (but if you weigh very lightly, he'll be concerned). He really doesn't mind your weight at all (he likes to say you don't weigh a lot). I can also see him as a domestic guy, he learned how to cook (thanks to Sojiro) and learned to take care of animals (Morgana, lol).

-He's protective of you. If you're in the Phantom Thieves, double-protectiveness over you activated. He just doesn't want you to get hurt ;-; He's scared of losing you in the Metaverse. So if an attack is directed at you, he'll get the hit. If you get hit while he isn't paying attention (probably coming up a strategy), after the battle, he'll immediately patch you up or go to a nearby resting place. And I can also see the rest of the Team also being protective of you :3

-Akira is also observant about you, even if he doesn't look like it. So he knows immediately when you're upset or uncomfortable. In which case, he'll drag you away from the source immediately. Leaving that person dumbfounded.

-If you feel sad about something, the actions of Akira would depend on how severe your sadness or situation is (though they are still similar to one another). Did someone talk bad about you? Don't worry, Akira would hug you and voice out all of the good things about you (and probably imagine how he'll defeat that person's shadow). Did someone close to you recently die? Akira will bring some comfort food to you (or to his place if you went there) and comfort you while eating. Are you upset because of your grades? "Treasure.. have you seen Ryuji's?" but in all seriousness, he'll offer to help you study for the next test. Are you having a existential crisis? He'll also comfort you as he voice out how important you are to him, and that's the reason why he calls you his "treasure". Are you sad because everyone is unique and you're just you? Akira would say how special you are to him and that you don't need to stand out.

-Long story short, he'll comfort you no matter what. :) Can I have a Akira pls? -3- I'm getting jealous over here...

-But if he needs comforting, please comfort him ;-; Sometimes, all of the duties of handling his rehabilitation, school and being the Phantom Thief leader and people in general gets to him. He's still a kid— teenager. And it gets to him sometimes. He's the kind of guy that bottles his emotions up until it cannot anymore hold itself together. So please comfort this boi ;-;

-Overall, he's like a perfect boyfriend :)

Goro Akechi

-Akechi is somewhat-like Akira, yet different at the same time. He's hesitant to pursue or enter a relationship because of his Detective (and other) duties, he fear that he cannot handle a relationship because of that. So the word "surprise" might be an understatement at how Akechi feels as you, his now newly-announced s/o, told him that you just want to love him and lets him do whatever he does. Akechi was actually glad to have someone like you his s/o, someone who understands and love him at the same time. Akechi would be lying if he didn't find you attractive when you first meet.

-Akechi will tease you time from time, enjoying every reaction your making each time, it never fails to put a smile on his face. But he might not be into PDA, since he likes to keep your relationship a secret to the world (media). He tells you so that you won't have to fear about his fanbase. But in reality, he just fears that if Shido knows about you, he would use you against Akechi (which he doesn't like -3-).

-Let's face it, he has you as his wallpaper in his phone. Whenever he feels lonely or just have a moment to himself, he'll just open his phone and stares at his wallpaper. He unconsciously smiles at you in the picture as he continues his day with a smile present on his face. Many people who's near to him noted how happy he was when he looks at his phone for some reason. But Akira manages to find out while he's raising his confidant level for Akechi :)

-Akechi would notice every quirks and twitches you have, since undoubtedly, he has a keen and observant eyes. He would immediately know which ones you like, which ones you don't like, how comfortable you are, how uncomfortable you currently are, and more. But that doesn't make him a stalker >:( He just wants to know which ones you prefer and how comfortable you are. He prioritizes your comfort over his :)

-Akechi always put his mask on around everyone else, but to you? His mask is slowly slipping away. If you play your cards right, he might reveal his true self to you and only you. But he won't tell you about Shido, since he still fears your safety. He tells you partly everything about his childhood, how his life is in the orphanage and all that. Akechi'll mentally prepare himself for you reaction, are you disgusted? Would you leave him now that you know? Those thoughts ran through his head. When (not if because you chose him, how dare you not accepting him >:(.) you accept him though, he'll start to cry.

-Akechi might not be a natural at being romantic, but he tries. I can see him as a gentlemen type though :3, like he'll open doors for you and pulls the chair for you. He'll also give you gifts and trinkets he saw while in his detective duties. I imagine him giving you your favorite flower every meeting (or dates) you two have, like if you're just walking and suddenly come across Akechi, he (for some reason) has your favorite flower at hand and ready to give it to you. Expect your house to be filled with flowers with how often you two meet.

-But its not everyday you two meet, note this. Akechi already warned you about his job since it takes up most of his time, so he's usually not able to meet you as often as he likes to. But he'll call or text you if he has free time, probably asking how you are and lets you rant about what happened during the day. Akechi loves hearing your voice, so he lets you rant as long as you want. If he's given a day-off (so rare ;-;), he'll want to spend it with you. Though he prefers to stay at home, but if you want to go somewhere, he'll concede.

-Your dates consist of going to restaurants, cafe and LeBlanc. This boi loves pancakes, so you better bring him to a restaurant where they serve pancakes X3. But if you can cook pancakes, Akechi would probably want to marry you on the spot :). Whenever you are in LeBlanc though, you would stare at the duo trying out-wit each other, its amusing to you how frustrated Akechi is and smug Akira is.

-But I can see Akechi being touch-starved since he doesn't have anyone while growing up, so he practically clings to you like a koala. But if you're uncomfortable with affectionate touches, he doesn't mind either. Just please hold his hand so that he feels safe (it also settles his mind and heart knowing you're still here by his side ;-;).

-If you're in the Phantom Thieves (oh boy, here we go), Akechi would be scared at the idea of having to kill you and the rest of the team. He knows how much the group of misfits means to you, but he knows he has to do the task he's given. So until that time come, just stay in his arms and let him love you while he still can ;-; (I'm making this depressing..). While still into the subject of comforting, if he starts to cry because of all the stress, please comfort him ;-; Though I can also see him pushing you away, in fear you'll get hurt. Just persist and continue to comfort him :) He'll slowly warm up to you.

-If you need comforting though, he'll get awkward and not know how to comfort you. Don't blame him though (because he never had anyone, remember?). He'll try his best to comfort you, and by that I mean letting you cry as he holds you. He'll make you rant about what you're sad about, and just listens to you. After the crying mess, he'll drag you to the TV to watch a movie. He did this so that whatever the reason behind your crying would be temporarily be gone. But if it involve some school issues, he'll help you there since he knows about that area. But the others? Yeah, haha... no.

-Akechi isn't a perfect boyfriend but he tries :) (Just prepare yourself in breaking up with him when you reach Shido's Palace :(.)

Yosuke Hanamura

-Yosuke is a bit of a tease but not too much, only eliciting a reaction from you. Yosuke is also a bit shy when it comes to the subject of romance, so he might be awkward and shy at times (this is the moments where you have to take the lead). Like that time where he first asked you out on a date, he's so nervous that he stumbles with his words (the rest of his friends were cheering for him from behind). You have to connect the dots if you ever want to understand what he's trying to say, and you better say yes :)

-He's not really into PDA like most people expect (probably because of his somewhat-shyness). But he always likes to hold hands with you. Not many people know you two are together though, only his friends (and parents) since you two act like best friends still. His friends also relentlessly tease the both of you (mainly Yosuke though), much to his dismay.

-Yosuke also wants to spoil you so he spend all of his money getting what you want, so please don't abuse this and pLEASE MAKE HIM STOP! Because Yosuke might end up being more broke than ever ;-; He's too kind...

-Yosuke might take a while to get used to the fact that you two are a couple (since he's still hang-up with Saki's death), but when he does get used to it, prepare yourself. Yosuke loves giving you back-hugs, even more if its a back-hug you didn't expect. He just hugs you from behind and stuff his face into your neck or hair, either way they smell good. Yes, he loves your smell, got a problem? He also loves peppering you with kisses on your neck (not in a sensual way though!), he doesn't know why but he does it. If you're ticklish in that area, it just gives him a reason to do just that (he loves the sound of your laughter).

-He shares his headphones with you and lets you borrow it for the rest of the day if you want. He's also the kind of guy that if you're short, places his head on top of your head and arms around your figure and sway the both of you (I like this idea, it's too adorable >w<). Also the kind of guy that uses his height as an advantage to grab an item you need and hold it above his head while laughing as you try to get it back. This is his kind of teasing :)

-Your date consists of Junes or your place (not his because Teddie is there). Junes is his favorite place so if you want to date there, he'll be ecstatic. You two will sit there while eating the food you bought as you two talk about random things you two can think of. I think this is Yosuke's ideal date though, just relaxing and talking. But if his boredom comes to play, be prepared because he's gonna drag you away from Junes or your house and explore Inaba together. Boredom is what Yosuke fears afterall. If you two are hanging out in your house, be prepared for pillow fights and tickle fights because Yosuke is for sure gonna start it :)

-Yosuke would also might use some pick-up lines on you, some cheesy ones and some random ones. If you use a pick-up line on him as well, you two will have a pick-up contest on which one would have the best pick-up line ever. You two will also have inside jokes that only you two understand. Yosuke also loves you pouncing on him from behind and giving you piggy-back rides, but if its in public, he might get embarrassed.

-Being Yosuke's girlfriend also means being great friends with his, mainly Yu. Yu is Yosuke's partner (I SHIP IT!!) so he wants you to meet his partner. The team would instantly welcome you into their group, and they love you very much :3 Yu also hangs out with you and Yosuke, if you or Yosuke suggest it (he ain't telling being a third-wheeler :/). Teddie would also join in on your date if its at Junes, Yosuke easily getting angry at Teddie for interrupting your date.

-If you're in the Investigation Team, he'll get protective of you, acting like you're knight. He'll be damned if you get hit, so he mostly get the hits directed for you. But if you get hit, he'll sulk and beg forgiveness to you (even though its not either your faults that the Shadow is fast enough). He'll also help you train if you have a hard time with your Persona.

-Yosuke is observant and perspective so he notices your mood, quirks and twitches. He'll immediately notice if you're mood dampen, even if its a little he'll notice. He wants to immediately know what's wrong. If you want to cry, he'll let you cry as he holds you close. If you say "I'm fine", Yosuke would argue that you're clearly aren't. Either way, Yosuke would make sure to make you let it all out.

-If you're sad, he'll comfort you. Whatever the reason is, he'll know it later. The first thing to do is comfort you. He'll not immediately ask you to tell him, he'll let you take your time to explain to him why he found you crying (or sad). Is it about grades? Don't worry, it happens. Yosuke would teach you (he's intelligent, he just doesn't know it yet :3). Is it because of bullying (or someone talking bad about you)? Yosuke would get angry at them as he started to rant why they shouldn't do that and that you shouldn't listen to them. Is it because someone close to you died? Yosuke would remain silent as he just hugs you. Long story short, he'll comfort you in every way..

-Remember me stating Yosuke is observant? Yeah, I'm gonna bring it up again. Yosuke prioritizes your comfort over his, as he finds ways for you to be comfortable if you're uncomfortable. Yosuke always reassure you that he doesn't love Saki anymore, but in truth, he's just reassuring himself. But after Yosuke talked to Yu, he'll confront you about this. Please forgive him and comfort him ;-; he needs it. Afterall, first love is much harder to let go of..

-Overall, Yosuke loves and cherishes you. Please be patient with this man as he tries to move on from the death of his first love :)

Yu Narukami

-Yu is the kind of guy that also teases his s/o by kissing their nose, leaving unexpected kiss on the lips and surprising them by hugging them from behind. He loves every flustered reaction you have (and thinks its cute every time). He'll stop if you want, but if not, he'll continue to tease you with his teasing antics. He's also kind of childish (this is my perspective of Yu, don't judge :3) so while holding hands with you, he'll swing it back-and-forth, while also being careful not to hit anyone.

-People can tell that you two are immediately a couple though (from Yu's antics alone), since Yu is an affectionate partner to have. You know the thing where the person's significant other is sitting on a chair while the other is sitting on the floor and in-between their significant other's legs? Yu is on the floor while you are on the chair. This usually results in Yu putting your legs on his shoulders and carrying you around like that, not putting you down until class start or he has to (much to your dismay and embarrassment), which usually Yu reluctantly let you go.

-His friends would gag at the sight of you (Yosuke), but they're super supportive towards their Captain's relationship with you. But they would ask their Leader to tone down his affection towards you.

-Yu loves to cuddle you and peppering you with kisses all over your face, he has no shame (;-; or :)). He's also the kind of guy that stays faithful with one only, and stays with that person because when he loves, he really loves :3 (again, aside from the games :3). He wants you to know about his love for you, and the only way he knows how is engulfing you with it :) He is mature but he lets loose around you because he's so comfortable with you. He's also a domestic-kind of guy (similar to Akira). If you don't how to cook, don't worry! Yu is here to teach you how, starting how to make Curry.

-Yu lets you borrow his jacket (or hoodie) whenever its cold, and usually blush at the sight of you in his clothing. Its usually big since he's so freakin' tall -_- He'll also help you in your projects and homework, usually having it at either your home or his. Though in his, Nanako would pester you two (not in a bad way though). Oh, and also both Dojima and Nanako immediately accepts you as Yu's s/o. So no worries about there :)

-Your dates consist of either houses or exploring Inaba together. Yu's still new in Inaba so he wants to explore it while he still can. Whether you live there or recently moved there (like him) doesn't matter to him. Since you lived there, do you mind showing him around then? If not, don't worry, let's explore together! In houses though, you two just mostly chill. Talking about random stuff while listening to music or watching TV.

-I can see him as a guy that gives you your favorite flower and tuck it in your head :3 (Don't worry, he already got rid of the thorns in it). This guy lives for cheesiness :3 Oh, I forgot to mention. Teddie would tease you and Yu (though very ineffective) and worship you as well since your dating his sensei.

-If you're in the Investigation Team, he'll be very protective of you but he lets you fight (he trusts you that you won't intentionally get hurt :/). But if a Shadow hurt you, Yu would immediately kill it and tend to you. But when it comes to the lady boss (Adachi), Yu would ask you to not join the fight, in fear you would get hurt. If you persist enough, Yu would reluctantly let you join the battle in one condition, stay by his side.

-Yu is also an observant fellow, seemingly enough to figure out a person's true self, even if that person doesn't. Yu can tell if you're not being yourself or not in the mood, he will ask you instantly what's wrong. If you don't tell, Yu would get worried but doesn't press on. He's worried because (if you're not yet in the Team) you might appear in the Midnight Realm or your Shadow self will appear again. So please tell him what's wrong so that his worry will cease. If you do tell him, he'll listen to you.

-If you're sad, he'll comfort you. He'll do it everytime you feel sad or want to cry. He'll hold you close and either bask in silence or listening to you rant. Your choice :)

-Also, Yu spoils you so much to the point that you have to tell him to stop because he might get broke like Yosuke. But he always reassure you that he has spare money. But please stop this boi from spoiling you too much... OR you spoil him in return (he'll gratefully accept whatever you've given him).

-Overall, Yu is an ideal boyfriend to have (I want a Yu :(.)

Minato Arisato

-Minato likes to tease you a bit to see your (cute) flustered reaction, he enjoys seeing you like that afterall. But he won't do it every time. Which is worse because you have to expect the unexpected. Like when you were writing something in your notebook, the next thing you knew that Minato kiss your cheek. Yes, he's a cheeky bastard :)

-Minato also shares his headphones with you and bask in it. If you have a playlist of your own, he'll listen to it with you. Minato is a private boi, so he does little to no PDA. Prefers all of the affection behind doors, his or your dorm. Though he doesn't mind holding hands with you or giving you a hug, only rarely does he give you a kiss in public.

-Minato isn't as affectionate as the other leaders are (almost all of them are except him ;-;), but he tries his best. Like Yu, he shows his love for you through actions instead of words since talking is a pain for him. He'll cuddle you inside either your dorms and pepper you kisses all over your face. He also has no shame ;).

-He prefers to relax and chill since he doesn't want to waste energy (I'm having Oreki vibes here owo'). So his ideal date is to just chillax in the bed, curled up with one another, and cuddling each other. He likes the feeling of your legs entangle with his though. And this is basically your date! Though he will also take you out to Paulownia Mall or anywhere since he doesn't want you to cope up in the room for too long.

-Minato also likes giving you gifts and small trinkets while he's going around town, stating that they remind him of you. He will also remember everything you said to him, which is handy since he also remembers which ones you want. You probably didn't know this so when its either your birthday or Christmas, you'll be surprised to see the thing you wanted to have.

-Minato loves everything about you, your hair, your eyes, your voice, your laughter, your hands, just basically everything. This is the only time he'll be vocal about it, much to your embarrassment. He'll also give you a piggy-back ride if you want, even in public. He might not look like much, but he's pretty strong for a short guy. (Probably from all the training he has done with Akihiko :).)

-The SEES basically accepts you by this point, since you make their Leader happy, their fine with you. Junpei might flirt with you every now and then. Yukari would talk with you about girl things. Akihiko might also drag you to his training session, in which Minato drags you away from your senpai -w- Basically, they just accept you to their wholesome family. Also, Aigis might thanked you for making their Leader happy.

-If you're in the SEES, Minato would still treat you like any other member. Except for the fact that he's stuck by your side through the journey to reach Tartarus' top. He'll help you train your Persona if you need training.

-Minato is also observant about you (all of these bois are observant -_-), so he will instantly know when something is wrong. But he might not let you know about it, and lets it go along. It isn't until you two are alone in the room when he asks you what's wrong. You don't need to answer him, just let him scoop you up in his arms. He respects your privacy though if you want to left alone, but be aware that you'll find him sleeping outside of your door.

-If you're upset about something, he'll know what's bothering you even if you don't tell him, he just knows. For now, he'll comfort you. After that, he'll deal with the problem. If its about someone talking bad about you, he'll get Mitsuru involve. If its about projects and homework or not understanding the lesson, he'll help and teach you about it. He's a smart boi.

-I can see Minato finding it adorable at what you look like with his clothes, he just finds it so cute. He lets you steal his clothes though. As long as you wear them, it's fine. Though you need to return those or else he has nothing left to wear.

-Overall, Minato is a private affectionate bby :)

Shinjiro Aragaki

-Shinjiro doesn't tease often as the previous bois does, but he does tease. If you have a short stature, he'll get what you were getting and hold it above his head while watching you with a smirk on his face as you tried to get it from him. If he's feeling bold, he might place a kiss on your mouth and chuckle at your surprised, flustered face. Though he doesn't do this often.

-Shinjiro likes ruffling your hair for some reason. He won't admit it but he feels relaxed whenever he feels your hair or ran his fingers through your hair, it just feels so relaxing and calm for him. He also likes pinching you whenever he gets annoyed at you, if you pinch back, you two will have a pinching contest.

-Shinjiro has a hard time opening up to other people, so its a huge achievement if you manage to make him your boyfriend. He'll be flustered by it of course as he looks away while blushing ever-so-slightly. He's a bit of a tsun-tsun. But everyone who knows him (Akihiko and Mitsuru) would take note how Shinjiro's face soften around you, you can almost see a faint smile on his face whenever he looks at you. "He looks like a lovesick puppy." - Mitsuru, 2009

-Shinjiro isn't into PDA, so whenever you want to hold hands with him, he'll get flustered. But he won't refuse as he removes his hand from his pocket and holds your hand with his. He's just embarrassed. He'll drag you places to places, probably explore the town while you two can.

-He's not afraid to speak his mind though, beware. He'll speak without hesitation if you did something bad or do something stupid. If you did do something stupid, he'll snicker while teasingly taunting you. You'll get embarrassed by this of course. But when you two started to eat, you'll laugh at his comments about the food. His snide remarks never fails to make you laugh.

-Shinjiro allows you to take off his beanie and place it on your head, he might need to look away to hide his embarrassment and flustered self. His mind is racing on how cute you look with his beanie, WHY DOES THAT BEANIE LOOK BETTER ON YOU RATHER ON HIM?! He'll never understand that logic ever.

-Be prepared as well for competitions and playful fights, because this guy is competitive like Akihiko. He'll playfully banter with you about the difference between some things. Also, he'll be embarrassed when you find out that he cooks way better than you. If you ask if you can have some, he'll immediately say no. But if you continue to pester him, he'll soon give in. Be prepared to taste Heaven :)

-Shinjiro is insecure to himself because there is so much better guys out there for you, yet you chose him. Someone who'll not live long, someone who'll eventually leave you alone with a shattered heart. His mind will always plague this scenarios over and over again, he'll even be wide-awake at night just thinking about it. When he asks you one day why you chose him, you better reply honestly :) Reassure him that you love him and only him.

-Shinjiro is observant as hell so he knows immediately if you're hiding something or upset. Like MInato, he'll not ask you at once. Though if this behavior carries on for days, be prepared for Shinjiro's interrogation :) He just wants to help you, so please come to him if you have a problem with anything

-(I just realized I made SEES bois with sad s/o. Please read how Shinjiro comforts you whenever you're sad there. x.)

-I can see him telling you to find another one to love when he dies. Move on, but don't forget about Shinjiro. Continue living even if he's not there, he'll remain in your heart forever.. (Okay.. I teared up in this one ;-;).

-Overall, please be with this boi until the very end..

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habia1veredaempinadaxahimelanc · 6 years

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I really appreciate your article. Do you have any book suggestions on this topic or on how the sex industry is a western/patriarchal creation? I was sexually exploited quite a bit as a child and teenager (raped, dragged into a cybersex ring when I was 11 full of much older men that said all men expected sex and sex talk from me, forced to do things I felt uncomfortable with, recorded). I used to hate myself for being born as a woman. As I began to heal and take psychology courses, I started recognizing how exploitative porn/prostitution is. Women are being used for their bodies and it absolutely breaks my heart. I cry for myself and for the women around me who are seen as body parts. People have always shut me down, calling me a "prude" or saying that I'm trying to take away women's rights or that all men are wired to sexually exploit women, so I usually feel alienated and alone which makes me feel even more like something is wrong with me. But being used and seen as an object took everything away from me. I was so confused and sad growing up (and still am terribly sad) and I don't want any other woman experiencing that pain. I don't want any woman or young girl to believe that she is a commodity.

I guess I should include the caveat that I am a former prostitute/porn girl/stripper, and have found those lines of work to be pretty great at miscellaneous times in my life (getting through school, having a flexible schedule, getting by while focusing energy on non-paying endeavors), so I'm perhaps biased. I get that I was privileged and lucky because I worked in doors, was somewhat educated, wasn't coming to it because it was my only option. But I did feel like a lot of the problems my coworkers and I faced were due to prevailing negative social mores towards women who commodify sex. At the end of the day I feel very strongly that we need to decriminalize sex work, so I do care about these social mores because I don't know how we can fix the system of criminalization without helping people understand that just because they view sex as sacred and non-commodifiable does not mean everyone experiences it that way.

Here's something else I would say to you with regard to the perversity of the arguments you are up against, if sex isn't "sacred" then why is virginity so prized. A woman in Nevada put her virginity up for auction and received an offer of $400,000. She did it because her family home burnt down and her parents cannot afford to replace it. Selfless really isn't the word to describe such a thing now is it. There are people who will argue that this is just fair "mutual exploitation." Consent between adults. But where does the value attribution stop? One person their virginity, another person a kidney or lung to pay overwhelming bills. In some countries a female adult sexuality is defined by - well - very little. Could be defined by the parent who marries or sells her off. Same thing with boys. There are a lot of assumptions placed upon what we think is fair play between humans. Even the classification of what is "human" is something that has changed over time. So we certainly don't need a binary classification system for women to continue. That's how 39 women got tortured and murdered by that horrible pig farmer in BC. Don't need racial (terrible word there is one human race) and class/education and gender discrimination either.

It doesn't sound like you read the article. It's not a value discussion over whether sex is "sacred" (whatever that means) and shouldn't be commodified. (Sex has never been sacred by the way. That's why God and gods rape women, because well - men - just aren't up to the immaculate job. And have a look at Augustine - one of the largest figures in the Christian church - he insisted that without prostitution the world would be "convulsed with lust." Seriously now.) It's about resisting entrenched patriarchal attitudes to women. Those entrenched patriarchal attitudes toward women include dividing them into two identifiable groups based upon sexual behaviors, which in both cases are designed to serve men - prostitutes who are good for providing symbolic skills that indulge men in whatever fantasies they feel they are entitled to (yes sorry - sex really isn't that sacred when it gets right down to it now is it) and wives who are good at other socially symbolic "skills" like sitting on the PTA and community organization and producing children. It's understood that if the wife can prance around in whatever symbolic role will turn her husband on, and keep him happy he "shouldn't need" to use a prostitute. Or that she shouldn't mind, because the whole world of porn/stripping/prostitution is just a form of harmless entertainment, and to complain is to be insecure and jealous. I agree that it does not take much to understand that feminists are not interested in the whole male argument that goes into justifying a view that women's function is to serve men in whatever capacity they deem appropriate. Women have their own agency and their own capabilities and are more than able to rival men in terms of all social contribution and professional achievement. They don't really need men to sit and think anything else about them.

What do your views lead to you to in terms of what should be done in practice? Re decriminalizing/keeping prostitution illegal/some combination thereof.

Hi. I think it's really difficult to suggest a one size fits all solution to a contentious problem for many people in many different ways. I support the current Nordic approach that the conservative government took. I think the new Bill C-16 that has gone up to the Senate may help as well. My opinion is that sex work is a patriarchal institution. This is why I think making it illegal and criminalizing male activity within it is the right approach. It is gender based discrimination and violence, at least, if not also class and ethnically based - which I would say it is. I think it is deep, pernicious and not easy to get at.

So, to you, what does this mean in practice? I disagree with you but appreciate the clarity with which you presented your viewpoints in this article. I get that the existence of the sex trade runs counter to your ideal world, but it has been around as long as humans have and will continue regardless of how accepted or frowned upon it is by society. The United States' system that criminalizes sex work makes it harder for prostitutes to report assault, to properly vet clients, enables law enforcement to both enjoy sex with and then prosecute prostitutes, makes it harder to determine who is a victim of trafficking and who is voluntarily choosing sex work (yes, there is a difference and it matters). From a harm reduction standpoint, I believe decriminalizing is the answer. What do you think?

Julia tleighsmith • a year ago

I know this is from two months ago, but I can tell you, as someone who has a degree in anthropology, the sex trade has not been around since as long as humans have. And please note I believe in decriminalization for the safety of women, but abolishment to overthrow patriarchy. Sex work as we know is a Western system of sex and gender. There is a reason why many Native Cultures, including those in Canada, want it gone: it did not exist before it was forced upon them by Western colonialism, and it stripped women of their traditional power and continues to serve to uphold not just patriarchy but also imperialism. To talk about civilizations and empires, Minoans certainty had no version of sex work, as opposed to Pompeii, which existed in the patriarchy of Rome. Minoa was matrilineal and egalitarian. Even patrilineal societies did not all have sex work, Mongolia is a good example, probably because Mongolian women had a much higher status than Western women. So, to make what could be a thesis statement very short, sex work has not been around as long as humans have, it was never universal until colonialism. In fact, many models of stone-age cultures suggest otherwise, including the San, in which women control resources to the point where they have no reason to depend on sexual relationships for survival. Sex work is a relatively modern human phenomenon (the history of humanity goes back tens of thousands of years) and is specific to patriarchies. Settling for the inevitable existence of sex work fails to take into account the actual history of humanity and civilizations.

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