can you imagine being tifa and thinking you're the only one who survived the attack sephiroth did to your hometown and one day you suddenly run into a childhood friend who also survived but something is clearly wrong so you take him back with you and offer him a job and place to stay but something is still so wrong but you don't say anything, you're to scared to say something about that night and the few times you do, this friend breaks into headaches and just mumbles random cryptic stuff so you're afraid to push further and you go on this whole journey and you keep watching your friend just break and break and realize that not even shinra could allow you to have this childhood friend, this last piece connected to your past, because even they went as far as to break him as well

What if I exploded guys

PLAYING: Breath of Fire IV

I think we’re closing in on the end. But in good ole BoF fashion, the last leg is taking the longest. Also, Nina is totally the main character of this game.

NINA

I’ve only ever beaten BoF 3, 4, and 5--though I’ve played 1 & 2. It’s a constant that Ryu is the main character, and that Ryu is the player. Ryu is never (to rarely) given dialog because the player is meant to imagine the voice of Ryu. And while this definitely works for BoF 3 and 5, Nina is clearly the main character in 4.

1. We Start the Game as Nina

In both BoF 3 and 5, we start the game as Ryu, and that’s basically where we stay for the whole adventure (occasionally controlling other characters). BoF 4 has us start with Nina. It’s a simple distinction, but sets up my next point.

2. Nina Makes All the Decisions

My screenwriting professor said the main character makes the decisions that drive the story. In this sense, Ryu is extremely passive. He’s mostly just along for the ride. It’s Nina that offers to help him, Nina that decides he should tag along, and it’s Nina’s quest he joins. Later, Nina decides to rescue Cray. Nina goes to her father for help. Nina asks the gods for assistance. Nina insists they save Ryu. Nina encourages Dies not to abandon Ershin. Nina insists on the helping that furry...thing. All the while, Ryu is just like, “...sure.”

I vaguely know how the game will end, so we’ll see if this all holds up.

3. It’s Nina’s Quest

The game starts with Nina and Cray on a mission to find/rescue her sister. While Ryu is integral to the plot, he doesn’t have a lot of skin in the game. Nina is also royalty, and this game has some Games of Thronesian politics going on. While Ryu’s actions carry little weight beyond the act itself, everything Nina does has the ability to affect policy and international relationships. We see this when the Empire pressures the Alliance to cede territory post Nina’s rescue op failure.

Also, Nina just told Ryu that she loved Cray. Ryu isn’t even the love interest in this game.

I’m actually really happy that Nina is the star. Female characters aren’t normally given the respect they deserve. Maybe instead of Breath of Fire, they should have called this “Wings of Destiny”...cause Nina has wings.

Back to the Plot

So, Ryu went super-Dragon and killed some imperials. The gods have offered to help Ryu, (as long as he plays hide and seek first), and Fou-Lu has escaped the village in which he had started to feel at home.

Nina and the team discuss things and decide that if it’s Ryu’s destiny to meet up Fou-Lu, they might as well confront him proactively. They seem to be under the impression that the empire is using Fou-Lu gain power (if they only knew).

Ursala is the Imperial captain that captured us, but now she’s our captive. The team asks her to help them get into the Empire. She’s confused. It was her mission to bring the dragon to the Empire, so this kind of works out...She agrees and is now a playable party member.

I like her.

Heading back to the warp gate, we learn that it’s broken because of our previous activities (and because we were attacked by Captain Jackass). Ursala tries to make us feel bad, but she works for an evil Empire--so jog-on. We have to head north and need a sandflier but don’t have the cash. This is comical, cause I put in a cheat for infinite Zenny way back when...

We’re supposed to ask a merchant sandflier for help, but we’re too late. Ursala immediately jumps to action and without a word, Scias follows her lead. They take the merchant ship like a band of pirates and it turns out to be a French-accented froggy friend from before that sexually harassed Nina, Marlok. He tries to make use feel guilty, which works on Nina and Cray--but the rest of us know he’s a POS. He offers us a bond to buy a ship, expecting that we’ll do great things and thus able to cash in on our success.

We get to a checkpoint, but it’s blocked. Ursala wants to fight the guards, but Nina is against it. We do the non-violent solution of trampolining over the wall. We get to a ship yard...I only now realized in the game that the oceans aren’t water--but mud. weird...where’s all the water? So the only seas are up north.

The captain doesn’t want us on without the blessing of the sea god. We got to coastal cave and find the Sea Dragon there...I think. We get his blessing and are good to go. The captain now doesn’t want women on board. The women insist that they are tough and have been through a lot. The muscle the dude we keep fighting shows up, and it’s implied that his defeat would prove we’re tough. Ursala shoots him and falls off the mass of the ship. So  a new test of courage is needed. Ursala and Nina must stay within the hull of the ship over night with ghosts and bugs. They succeed.

As we travel across the sea, we fight muscle dude again (he was much stronger this time). And then the wind stops. The sailors think this area is haunted, maybe by a god. We go check it out. The dungeon is interesting, but frustrating. You have to walk across planks to get to the other side, but the planks break and drop you down into the hull. There’s a light over your head to warn you when you’re about to fall, but I still fell a lot. In the hull, as you walk, skulls that are spread about rattle and vibrate: it’s eerie and entertaining. Eventually we find a rock creature that thinks of itself as a god, but it’s just a rock powered by god-power. So we kill it.

No remorse.

The wind returns and we make it across the sea. After traveling through a jungle, we meet a furry thing. I feed it some food and it seems happy...I think. At the end of the jungle we find a treehouse and are attacked by more furries. The previously furry comes to our defense and we meet Beyd. He has married one of the furries and maybe these are his children? Cray had my reaction and was like, “Well...uh, anyway--how do we get to the empire?”

One of the furries gets sick and Nina vows to save it (cause she’s the main character!). This brings us to an interesting, but not super fun mini game. We get to sail the boat, but you have limited supplies. Every second you’re on the seas, the supplies get used, but they’re used faster if you row. Rowing is necessary because the wind doesn’t always blog in the direction you need. So you have to decide whether to burn supplies by rowing, or wait for the wind to change directions. There’s places to find and treasure to discover. It is, kinda fun...

While we’re out here collecting medicine on the high seas, I also find the sea god: SCORE!

We save the furry and are guided to some islands that are available to walk across when the tide is low. So we venture a cross some tropical keys. It’s pretty. The group gets tired and Nina insists on taking a break: cause she’s the main character. After our rest, the tide has risen and the group is trapped. Cray is pissed and Nina feels responsible.

This is an interesting part of the game cause the group has to survive on an island and reflect on their mission. Ursala warns it could be months or years before the tide recedes. Chill Ursala. The group explores the island and finds both water and and great fishing spot. We’re gonna be fine. Just delayed.

Scias likes the island, as he just sleeps all day. After a while, Cray chills out and apologizes for his temper. While Ryu is casting a line, Nina reveals that she’s in love with Cray, causing Ryu to trip. Nina reflects on her feelings, unsure if they’re true and doubtful that Cray feels the same.

The tide recedes and the team escapes. We come to a riverlands that requires some log riding and log dodging. It’s cute, but I want to get out of here...

Fou-Lu, after escaping the village, receives a direct hit from the hex canon. They apparently used the friendly lady that help Fou-Lu as a “sacrifice” to power the canon. EVIL! Fou-Lu survives and arrives at the capital. He meets statue guardian that recognizes him as the first emperor. Fou-Lu orders the guardian to destroy the imperial city. Fou-Lu is pissed, and just doesn’t seem to think humans are worth it...

As the guardian destroys the city, Fou-Lu cleans up loose ends, finally killing the general that ambushed him on the night of his awakening, and then killing the current emperor. The Emperor first tries to act subservient to Fou-Lu, but then stabs him with the “dragon slayer” sword. It doesn’t work and Fou-Lu laughs in his face.

Similar to Breath of Fire 3, the game has reached a point where it doesn’t have more story to tell, but wants to add hours. So there’s tons of little quests and obstacles that have little to do with the overall plot. It’s sad, because the minigames and mini-nations they’ve created are really interesting.

I tried to think back to how Final Fantasy 7 handled this. I think, for the most part, the game doesn’t make its endgame clear until much later. Most of the game is, “What should we do now?” So I don’t feel there’s as much a “rush” to get to the end. Also, much of the game is about tracking Sephiroth, so you’re really looking for clues as you find obstacles, vs having an end destination and just running into a million reasons why you can’t get to it. You feel out of control and inconvenienced. But these obstacles would make really interesting and fun side quests. Having them as options would absolutely make them more interesting.

Another thing that Final Fantasy 7 really succeeds at is making each new area a new piece of the puzzle. You’re always learning history about the world or a character. So while it might be a brief obstacle, it’s also an interesting deeper dive into the world. Breath of Fire’s diversions don’t feel as enlightening.

Still, BoF4′s diversions still feel like progress cause we inch closer to the goal...it’s just that we’re not getting much character or world development in the process.

Combat

I do prefer the combat over BoF3 (and many RPGs). I like that the other characters are always on-call in the battle, and it’s easy to switch out (more so than Final Fantasy X -- how I remember it anyway). I’ve done zero grinding, and I’m pretty proud that I’ve survived so far. After crossing the sea, it seemed like the enemies were getting ahead of me, but I got better at using the spell combos (which are cool!). So surviving a few battles usually meant getting a few levels up. When I first played the game, i was cool with grinding, but I’m glad I don’t have to now. The only thing that is cheating: I gave myself 99999+ zenny. So I’m able to stock up on healing supplies. Though it helps, I’m sure a few hours of grinding would have me being just as well stock on healing supplies.

Is it better than Breath of Fire 3?

I’m a little torn. Breath of Fire 4 is “epic”. There are multiple nations that have a strong sense of culture and history. The mythology around the dragons is of the galactic scale. World War is in the balance and my party includes two members of royalty and two semi-gods. The world feels huge even if the story is pretty linear.

In contrast, Breath of Fire 3 had three nations--that I could tell: Wyndia, Eastern Kingdom, and across the sea. Strangely, Wyndia had gangster cities, gangster markets, and amoral lab that was accidentally making mutants. While eastern kingdom seemed pretty chill and peaceful--but lacked a ruling entity. Hmmm...

Where Breath of Fire 3 feels “better” is that it feels more personal. The story starts small: a lost dragon-boy found my starving thieves. We live in a small town and solve small-town issues. This slowly grows to include local gangsters, a kingdom, and a dragon holocaust before we battle God. I like Breath of Fire 4′s characters, but I feel like I have a stronger bond with BoF3′s. Also, I felt like BoF3 tried to explore the grey area: killing monsters that had feelings. I felt emotionally challenged in the different scenarios. Whereas, BoF4 is always: “We’re the good guys, and we do the good things!”

Before the Dawn AU - Sephiroth (long post)

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Music Theme Found Here

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Basic AU Info from Profile:

Sephiroth is the only one of his kind--many a Dryad there have been, and some birthed forth from his home land, but none like him. He himself is bound to the Mother Crystal found within the Great Woods in the Forgotten City. For many years, he believed himself a pure being, created to protect his Mother and all that was pure and good that she created or reigned over in the City and at its edges. He knew she hated the weak, the powerless, just as much as she hated those greedy with power and arrogant with toxic ego. And so he hated them as well. For why would he not, if mother did? He protected the City, and roamed within it. But when the day came that a dark Vampire came strolling through, intent on clawing out one of the mothers resting within the crystal (as the form of two women seemed to rest within the great large crystals core), something in him changed. By nature and nurture, he was intent on fighting this Vampire off, but he spewed nonsense about being his true creator, and that his Mothers were useless and greedy wenches. Argument and battle ensued, and what few friends Sephiroth may have gained from the very small population of beings and descendants of Ancients (the original elvenesque people of the Forgotten City and keepers of the crystals and the pure energy of the woods), they tried to aid him, to reason with him. But this Vampire, Hojo, seemed to tear assunder the very fabric of the life the Dryad had lived--He tore too deep into the crystal, and into Sephiroth’s own belief of his existence, and both made Sephiroth susceptible to control….from the very one he trusted most, his great mother Jenova, who’s power had finally been freed enough by the damage to the crystal to reach him. From then on out, she used him like her very tool of will. A great many inhabitants of the City died at his hand, as holy fire wrought throughout it, only a few fae and ancient descendants escaping, seemingly by Sephiroths failure to seize them… Jenova would seek to continue using him as her own puppet, building his power, his strength, twisting him into a possible vessel if she could ever have him free her from the crystal without absolutely destroying it. But Jenova wasn’t the only one in the crystal--no, when Sephiroth was to be made, by Hojo and his mate, Lucrecia, using a shart of Jenova’s crystal, conflict grew between them all, jenova influencing them without their know, breeding Hojo’s greed further, and Lucrecia’s love for those innocents who did not deserve his cruel actions (both the vampire pawn Hojo intended to create, and the back up they saw their claimed son would be). During a confrontation, Lucrecia was stabbed by the shard, which Hojo still used, thinking the ordeal only gave it more power, unknowing of the fact that it had corrupted his mate. Throughout their time developing Sephiroth, she found herself twisted between a cruel darkness akin to Hojo’s, and her true heart shining through. She was almost consumed by that darkness, but escaped with what seemed to be a crystalized egg, holding a small toddler within, and she begged Jenova to make it right, to forgive her her sins in what she’d done to the crystal, and help her give Sephiroth a chance to live. Jenova took advantage of this plea, took Lucrecia into her crystal under the pretense it would prevent her corruption, which it did, but it also locked her away, and she took advantage of having her. Sephiroth was made a monster, by a corrupted Ancient locked away in the Great Crystal, meant to lock and purify her, but it could only bind her for so long. He was a nightmare upon the world, making victims of many beings, from werewolves, to vampires, to demons, to fae, to humans. It mattered not, so long as Jenova saw weakness that needed to be snuffed out. It seemed as if he would either end the world, or have to end himself. It was by the will of warriors that he was finally stopped, and the faint influence of the mother who sacrificed herself for his best chest, Lucrecia, that he found his end….and began again. He returned to the Forgotten City, forging from it’s waters anew, stronger, and wiser, and wearing his crimes and cruelty and truth like a weight upon his shoulders. He now wanders the world looking to purify crystals by a ritual taught to him by a tender ancient decadent girl from before his wreckage upon the City--he wanted to ensure Jenova’s reach would not continue, that she would be removed, never to harm anyone again (unbeknownst to him, his rebirth after defeat at the hands of a specific warrior would produce Jenova’s last attempt at presence, a Water Nymph in their combined visage). He is seen as a monster by most, and does not deny it, but he carries on, to make the world better from the damage he did to it. His natural form involves pale skin, very little clothing if any, minor horns sprouting backward from his bangs, discoloration of the skin around his, elongated nails, markings upon his skin that look like tattoos made to look like cracks in his skin, a few embedded crystals in certain patterns here and there over his upper body. He also has a feral form which involves glowing eyes, discoloured, iridescent skin, crystal embedded horns as opposed to his normal horns that look similar to dull and half dead branches of the trees of the Great Forest of the Forgotten City, a wing of Crystal and light, and slightly increased size. (timeline of his story is dependent entirely on what we as rp partners decide).

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Name: Sephiroth, the Crystal Dryad, the Silver Fae, the Fae Curse.

Species: Crystal Dryad, only one of a species never seen before him. (Much like a Dryad of the forests and its soul tree, but he is bound to a Great Crystal of the old Ancients culture).

Role/Profession/Job: Originally protector of the Forgotten City of the Ancients, and indirect Knight of the Mother Crystal. Then, the will and hand of Corrupt Jenova bound in Crystal, he became a curse upon all. Now, he wanders alone to mend the world, to help it heal from the damage he caused. 

Age: 30′s

Nature: As a Dryad, he is drawn to protect, care for, and stay near his connection source, and so he was very much a proud dweller of the Forgotten City and it’s forest. He mingled within the trees and smaller crystals, explored, tended to nature, and took down harmful beasts sent to taint the land. He was a peaceful being, but as he got older, he got restless and more protective, more intense, more closed off. He secluded himself. And then all connection and concern was twisted up and locked away inside him as intense loyalty turned into corrupt loyalty, leading him to harm others and lands beyond. But, his true nature is explorative, curious, intense and valiant, willing to fight as much as he is willing to stand by.

Personality: Curious, loyal, restraint with his empathy but yearning to reach it out to more in the world. He is a being seeking experiences but bound by loyalty for much of his life, and so he resigns himself to that existence and how it requires him to be, personally. But he begins to loose his free will, and control, and seemingly all chance at a free life to experience a great many things. In the throws of Jenova’s worst influence, he is cruel, angry, and seeking what he feels is vengeance and righteous cleansing. But it is not what he truly feels nor how he wished to live. When freedom comes once again, he finds himself experiencing the world with the weight of his crimes on his shoulders.  

History: Unknown to him for a great many years, and still a bit of a mystery in the present, he was the result of a cultist covens experiments and their desires to make a powerful supernatural being under their will. It was a failure, of course, as they delved too deep into their desperation and used the power of a cruel locked soul to aid their work. Through the greedy pride of Hojo, the conflicted coerced efforts of Lucrecia, and the cells of another experiment as well as the cells of the crystal mother, a new being was forged. His crystal cocoon holding his toddler sized, beginning form was carried forth to Jenova by Lucrecia, who begged for salvation for her son. His formative years was full of wonder and pride and appreciation of his land, respect and bonding with the locals within the town, and curiosity of what was beyond. He always found himself coming back to rest at the foot of the Mother crystal, where he felt at home, cradled, watched over by Mother Jenova, glowing and beautiful, and Mother Lucrecia, gentle and soft. His teen and adult years grew with troubles and problems, and more responsibilities, but he sought to do right by all. But, without his awareness and willingness, he felt that desire shrinking and narrowing, and slowly the world seemed to become toxic, the cruelties endless and festering, and he found himself haunted by visions of a doomed, decaying future. And he found himself followed Mother Jenova’s pleas for him to cleanse lands of the cruelty waiting to ruin the world. His bloodshed began in his home, the Forgotten City, but it stretched beyond, for only a few years, before a few warriors and one in particular stood against him, breaking through some part of him (or was it the influence of Mother Lucrecia, or both?), and taking him down, freeing him from the fate of being a dark hand any longer. By will of the mother that loved him truly, he found himself reborn for a second chance, and so he has taken it, to make amends and find where he once was again.

Powers/Abilities:

Energy influence over some nature and weather. The darkness or light of his influence is dependent on his state of mind.

Crystal energy connection, manipulation, energy flow.

Crystal influence as a part of him, meaning he naturally influences shards as a part of himself, and sometimes they can grow into sort of guards or simple crystal sources embedded in his skin.

Super speed, strength, extra senses especially connected to the awareness of the planet.

Energy warping for various purposes, from light display, to energizing, to healing, to blasts or shields.

Feral Form Powers; specific attacks linked to his claws, increased crystalizing, flight due to the wing upon his back made of crystals and energy, stronger levels of all other influences, can tap into the energy of the planets crystals for devestating power, if he so chooses.

Fae magic and Ancient magic spells and treatments.

FF7R: Cloud’s hyper vigilance

Since this has come up a few times in the last couple of days I figured I'd stick it all in one place so everyone can see just how differently Cloud behaved pre and post sim cut scene.

Ok, spoiler warning for ppl who haven’t played – do I still need to do this? Eh ok, (I tag FF7R spoilers as final fantasy 7 remake spoilers) and it’s gonna be long.

Also, this is one person’s interpretation of the scene, so if you disagree that’s cool and we’ll agree to disagree.

You’re also gonna have to excuse the janky quality on some of the screens, I’m grabbing them from Youtube and it’s frustrating af trying to get the exact moment I want. Idk why they’re blurry or different sizes this time, so sorry about that and just bear with me.

Please check my master post to see if I've already covered your question, thanx

Let's mosey!

Before Cloud sees the love of his life run through by Sephiroth, he is attentive towards her, which we already knew, but he wasn't overly attentive. He looked to her to make sure she was ok, but he trusted that she'd be ok without him watching her every move.

Cloud turns his head only. Before that he was facing forward and not turned towards Tifa. He looks at her when they're talking, but doesn't move his entire body. Tbf, this is the part where Tifa fell 30+ft and said she thought she'd die for sure, which likely put Cloud in a more attentive state towards her anyway, but after that came the stairs or elevator, so he probably calmed down again. There's no threats between that moment and the sim, so he shouldn't feel the need to become overprotective towards Tifa. Seeing threats everywhere when there aren't any is a very bad sign, so it's a good thing Cloud didn't change after that first event.

Tifa gets stabbed and Cloud's reaction is heartbreaking. He doesn't know it's not real at this point. This is genuine shock and grief. He's failed her. There's no undoing this. The look on his face as he tries to locate Sephiroth is murderous. It morphs into shock when he sees Barret dead, too. He's let them both down.

This is during the talk with Hart before they leave the sim. Cloud was literally just facing Tifa talking to her. He knows she's there. He has no reason to check on her again, other than he's worried what'll happen if he can't see her.

Not even in the office yet. They're in the archive and Tifa's just moved forward to look around and Cloud has turned so they're lined up. He's obviously still shaken by the sim and feels the need to keep her within reach in case she needs saving.

In the office and Cloud again half turns so that he is more in line with Tifa's position. Why does Cloud feel threatened during this point? Because he doesn't know Domino and it could be a trap. Common sense he wants to keep an eye on the person he wants to keep alive.

Things only escalate from this point. The degree by which Cloud turns depends on how stressed/worried he is at that point. He doesn't know Hart or Domino, but he's less threatened than in later locations, so doesn't feel as much pressure to keep Tifa within arm's reach, which explains why the degree he turns by is less than other times.

During the atrium section, Cloud seems to relax a little. The threat reduces for him and he begins to lower his hyper vigilance towards Tifa. The sim event seems like he was overreacting maybe and he doesn't have to keep as close an eye on her. It was all just messing with his head and he needs to focus. Soldier Cloud gets him back on mission.

But that's when he suffers a different kind of stressful event that pushes him to a breaking point and he cries. 

Cloud's stress levels begin rising again with the introduction of Hojo to the mix. He withdraws into himself, but even then he keeps some of his focus on Tifa's position. We can see here he is turned towards her, which accomplishes two goals. He's made himself a smaller target for Hojo, but also he can leap towards Tifa more easily if something happens.

It's during this event that Cloud has given up his position as leader. Barret takes control of the dialogue and later during the drum he gives Cloud orders, which are followed without argument. Cloud is doing the bare minimum needed to interact with people. He's focused on his goals. Protect Tifa. Save Aerith. Anything else is getting ignored.

Aerith's room after Cloud's collapse and you can see he's lined up with Tifa again, while talking to Aerith. It's even more obvious in the close up before this, but since Tifa wasn't visible I chose the longer shot because Cloud doesn't move from that shot to this and I'm not in the mood to deal with anyone trying to say I'm imagining things. I'm not.

This is even more obvious. Cloud is standing behind Tifa, lined up with her. On purpose. He moved to this position before we got control of him back. He's just gone through a very stressful event with the Jenova thing and he's not in a good head space in general. Focusing on Tifa may well be a comfort thing for him as well. If he focuses on her then he doesn't have to think about himself.

After reuniting with the girls and checking in with them, Cloud reorients his body to Tifa's position. The drum is one massive threat and Cloud's living through his nightmares with the medical room and the experiments. The last thing he wants is for something to happen to Tifa under his nose.

Right after the above screen we see he's once again lined up with her position before control comes back to us.

Lined up with Tifa's position again. I really don't have much else to say about this. It's all highlighting Cloud's anxiety after seeing her die in front of him. If he keeps her in line with himself then he can save her.

And again, Cloud turns to where Tifa is. There's other people around, but he's only speaking to her. Only looking at her. She is his priority at this point. The others are along for the ride.

Now, I'm sure someone will try and point out that she's the one driving the truck, but that doesn't explain why he's only talking to her and doesn't include the others. He was facing front until a moment before he spoke. He could've raised his voice to include everyone in a general “let's go” way, but he chose to turn to Tifa and speak to her exclusively.

And turns to her again. This is actually the third time he turns to check on her position, but the times before that were glances back because the threat was in front of them (Sephiroth). He didn't need to turn and check on her because he was already in the ideal position to save her.

After the arbiter battle, when they're in that between place which has something to do with CC with its sky and water imagery, we see Tifa walk into Cloud's peripheral vision and him turn towards her to check she's ok. He only turns away when he asks Aerith a question.

Last scene of the game and even though Cloud is talking to the others and his head is turned towards them, his body is lined up exactly with Tifa's position.

In conclusion.

I know some of yall are gonna be awww he loves her so much he can't bear to let her out of his sight. Yeah, ok, you're right, but at the same time, Cloud is very anxious. He's become that worried about Tifa's safety that he can't help but keep her in view at all times. The only time he's not focused on her is when there's an actual threat he needs to deal with because then he knows where the problem is and how to take care of it. It's during those moments between threats that he's become hyper vigilant towards her, even more than he was before he thought she died.

Before the sim, he was attentive, but trusted she could deal with most problems. He figured either she could handle it or he'd get there in time.

After the sim, he still trusts her, but he doesn't trust himself to keep her safe, which is why he's become even more watchful towards her.

I’m guessing this is gonna go towards his eroding sense of identity through the rest of the game until he shatters and we get the lifestream event where Tifa puts him back together again.

hello class! today we’re going to learn about growth and the process of healing via zack fair

when zack entered SOLDIER he had bright eyes of optimism whilst having one goal and a dream in mind: to become SOLDIER 1st class and to become a hero just like sephiroth. however the longer he stayed in SOLDIER, the more he realized that hey ..... something isnt Right here. one of those that you cant have emotions attached to missions or the ppl that ur fighting against, that its just a reliability. thats not something he agreed with because he purely focuses with his emotions, whether it could be his downfall or not. he feels immensely, whether its anger towards himself or sympathy; something so trivial as emotions will jeopardize the mission (ie a mission to go search for angeal). 

and unfortunately, being as young and impressionable as he was, it was very easy for him to be manipulated by his higher ups (because of his intense enthusiasm and wanting to please his superiors) and not be able to form opinions of his own, lest they get tested and make himself doubt his loyalty to shinra. which is why he had no problem with going to wutai and trying to overtake fort tamblin, he was told wutai is the enemy of shinra. they’re the bad guys, without ever being told the reason why. like why did shinra name wutai as their enemy? why are they going at war with them?

his perception was warped by the toxic ideals and goals that shinra and SOLDIER had, even though his guy he knew it was wrong and that he should question those of higher power than him. 

it also took too long to realize that shinra, at the face, is a company and state helps the people and protect midgar from terrorists and others that dare face against shinra. that underneath, they were making monsters with an ancient alien that landed on earth years and years ago. he doesnt know why; doesnt know anything about the ‘promised land’ theyre searching for. he doesnt know anything about their goals of creating beings from jenova, g, and s - cells. the fact of the matter is, theyre stealing away innocent people just so shinra can experiment on them (and they all worked for shinra ie SOLDIER 3rd and 2nd class when genesis took them with him; probably others than he cant imagine).

being hit with the information that genesis is degrading from the g - cells and angeal being born from the result of experimentation from gillian, the clouds started to fade away from his eyes and hes actually surprised that the ppl that know this are okay with it. like it was common knowledge, which it wasnt! he didnt know anything about this! the fact that angeal knew about this and didnt tell him, he felt hurt and betrayed. he was blindly following in his footsteps of embracing your SOLDIER honor and your dreams, that the fact he was proud and happy that he was working for shinra! meanwhile they had secret labs scattered about banora, modeoheim, and nibelheim that these experiments were going on!

at this point, zacks faith in shinra is fading and his dream is being pushed to the back burner even when he does eventually become a 1st class. no thanks! you can keep it. not like he had a chance but accept it. when hes forced to kill angeal, theres a mix of emotions: intense sadness because he looked up to angeal and admired him greatly, with his skills and such inspiring ideals; and even tho he can handle himself without angeal, he felt like he was the last pillar in SOLDIER that he had. he also felt relieved and hurt, zack doesnt forget him keeping all this information of human experimentation a secret while zack was looking with a naive lense to wanting to protect the people. relieved in the sense that angeal was probably hurting and was rapidly degrading if the grey hair and pale skin at his death was any indication.

being inherited the buster sword wasnt something he took proudly, it was a heavier weight on his shoulders the point where was sagging. he felt the least he could do was become those that ppl looked up to as well. even tho he carries a piece of angeal, he just couldnt accept what he had tried to push onto him. SOLDIER honor, there wasn’t a thing that existed at this point. trying to convince himself that SOLDIER doesnt mean monster, he couldnt kid himself that it meant monster. 

during this time, he goes to the church and accept consoling from aerith. altho he doesnt talk about what happens, or what hes experiencing / feeling which eventually becomes his downfall. as a way to make himself feel better, he visits the church, immediately feeling calmed, but however with so much weighing on his mind, promising aerith to build the wagon for her flowers becomes half-hearted. he thinks this is enough to try and hes the burden he was inherited, to push away the trauma of having to kill his mentor and watching him die, and fighting monsters, that were at some point, people---  even to the point of no longer wanting to be a part of SOLDIER. ofc this doesnt work and isnt a viable way to cope with his experiences. 

being last straw is when he fights sephiroth when he burns down nibelheim. that was someone he looked up to and trusted, he joined SOLDIER wanting to be like him. except now hes dragged cloud and tifa into this whole mess, and he feels incredibly responsible for not intervening sooner. he shouldve seen the signs that it wasnt going to end well, but he gave him the benefit of the doubt, hoping that he wouldnt be like genesis and angeal (which he was wrong). witnessing that sephiroth was kept these very important and crucial details, made him realize it doesnt matter how important or popular you are in shinras eyes; if theres any hint that someone could retaliate, they will keep it a secret until its convenient for them. this severed anything else positive he felt for shinra.

he doesnt even realize he was put in a pod for 4 years (only assuming its been a couple of weeks at most), still imaging that hes 18 when he now has to physically free himself from shinras grasp. even while hes asleep, the nightmares and visions of angeal wouldnt waver. even though he could choose to leave cloud alone in the pod with severe mako poisoning, he didnt want to. cloud was his friend, and he felt solely responsible for him to be pulled within the crossfire. cloud wanted to join SOLDIER, well this was the reality. he couldnt even fight for himself or eat; but he was alive and that was good enough for zack. zack has this pushed guilt onto his conscious, so he makes sure to bring cloud with him everywhere he went, even casually talking to him like he can actually respond back. 

he doesnt even realize the reality that he wasnt a respected member of SOLDIER, by the words of hojo, they were both fugitives and even though zack was still asleep in that pod, he was so tired; emotionally, physically, and mentally. this whole thing, he had to see through, if not for himself, then for cloud. at least get him to midgar and try to continue living a separate part shinras greedy hands. there were certain times while trying to avoid shinra and hide, that he could just end himself several times, but clouds existence was a constant reminder that they both managed to live, besides he owed cloud so much, so ridding himself off wouldnt do them nearly enough good. 

so seeing genesis again got him angry, that he couldnt even blame him for the reason this was happening. whether genesis wanted to capture hollander to help further shinra in experimentation, it wasnt going to stop what was going on underneath the surface. seeing lazard with angeals face really made him weak at the knees, physically made him sick, and feeling temporarily relieved (which he doesnt forget of the fact that angeal is dead, that this isnt actually him but lazard who absorbed his cells).

and finally beating genesis, he still felt angry with only a small semblance of sympathy. even with his soft heart, he couldnt help but feel bad for him, going thru such great lengths just because he was a failure of an experiment and wanted to live longer than what he got. this wasnt genesis’ fault, it was shinras and that just made him more frustrated. 

and while hes with cloud, riding to midgar, he once again tries to push the anger, hurt, and frustration at the back of his mind to tell cloud silly stories while he was still in SOLDIER, and what he thought about cloud upon meeting him for the first time, and that feelings of doubts that hes sorry that cloud has to travel with a monster. with coming across the shinra army, he realized this was a final stand, being physically exhausted (even w the mutated s and mako infused cells, he doesnt feel nearly as strong as he did before). even though he no longer holds up the honor of SOLDIER, he needs to protect cloud and his own honor that hes built as a person, and nothing else.

when he succeeded by the skin of his teeth, he wonders why hes still alive, why hes still breathing, even though its hard. he lost sight in one eye, but he doesnt even realize how, everything happened so fast. was he shot? was he stabbed? who knows, but taking cloud to midgar while hes sitting on deaths edge himself, he will take cloud back even if it kills him. there are people there waiting for him, unlike zack--- no one is waiting for him to come back, the people that hes looked up to has died, or see him as a traitor. perhaps, you could count his parents, but hes so ashamed to see them face to face. he feels like if he did, he would break down. his cell phone has long ago stopped working, so who knows if anyone has sent him anything during the time of his slumber. he doesnt even know that kunsel is waiting for him to come back.

during this whole time, hes held in his feelings and emotions, shouldering all this himself. he hasnt talked to anyone previously about his trauma, the nightmares that prevent him from sleeping, or his doubt. being in the sector 7 slums and being taken care of, he puts on a false face that everything is okay, but it cracks when he hit his brink. crying and screaming, yelling how none of this is fair and how he shouldve been dead. he doesnt why hes alive but hes so tired. he was fully planning to die when he faced shinras army, not even thinking how to why, if there even is a reason. even though tifa and marle kindly provided him a room to rest in, theres a momentary frenzy where there are several deeply punched in walls, even unleashing his sword in blinded frustration. 

hes never been taught that it was okay to share your feelings, and being swallowed by the toxicity of SOLDIER, he felt as if it was weak to ask for help. hes encouraged and is told several times, while being in the slums, that its okay. theres always an ear to be lend to if one needs to talk about their woes, or something that deeply troubles them. not to mention, he has a hard time accepting that so much time as passed, that so much as changed and almost so many people forgot about him. hes lost so much of his younger years by SOLDIER, the lost of mental growth by being in a god damn mako infused pod. he needs to catch up, now finding home in the sector 7 slums (altho apologizing and insisting that he fix up the room that he ruined. it gives him something to do and he fees bad for destroying that was so graciously offered from kindness).

he spends his time around avalanche and tifa, not only trying to help up from the wounds he endured, but trying to move on. find easier methods to cope and deal with the stress in healthy ways thats not dangerous self destruction to himself and those around him. hes slowly coming to the conclusion that hes not a monster that hes so insisted on, but a victim and pawn of SOLDIER and shinra. hes angry at shinra. hes upset, frustrated, aggravated, among other emotions towards the former company hes worked for.

and even though this healing process is still slow, hes becoming much more happier than has been before. he finds home in the slums, and those people that has so welcomed him, even though untrusting because of his previous affiliation with SOLDIER. he loves the people, quickly befriending the entire sector 7 slums. 

hes come a long way since coming back to midgar, from self loathing and a weak, nearly broken spirit to his back optimistic, naturally smiling self that people love to be around. he has given shinra a lot, but he wont let them take away a person he was so proudly being before he entered SOLDIER, albeit still immature with mentality that hes still 18.

AERIS GAINSBOROUGH RP PLOTTING CHEAT-SHEET!

Want new-and-exciting plots for your character? Long to reach out to more of your followers, but don’t know where to start? Fear not! Fill out this form and give your RP partners both present and future all the of juicy jumping off points they need to help you get your characters acquainted.

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mun name: summer. ooc contact: feel free to message me through IMs or asks. discord is reserved for friends and more serious plotting.

who the heck is my muse anyway?

    aeris gainsborough is one of the main protagonist from final fantasy vii and the last living cetra, an ancient race that is able to speak to the planet directly. when she was only an infant, aeris’ father, once the former head scientist at the shinra company, was murdered so that aeris and her mother, ifalna, could be captured. the first seven years of her life were spent as a prisoner in the shinra building so her and her powers could be studied closely for shinra’s own selfish gain. eventually, her mother was able fight her way out of the shinra building but was fatally wounded in the process and the two were eventually found on the steps of the sector five station by a widow named elmyra gainsborough. knowing that aeris was finally in safe hands, ifalna leaves her daughter with a heirloom, the holy materia, before she passes on to join the lifestream. in the years following her mother’s death and being adopted by elmyra, shinra would continue to track her movements but mostly let aeris be as she got older. 

   the use of mako, an energy source that was drained from the planet’s essence, would also rise in prominence during this time and various groups formed to oppose shinra’s methods. the most notable and active group were the eco-terrorists, AVALANCHE, and aeris’ life changes completely when one of its members nearly crashes on top of her in her church. a short walk to sector seven ends with aeris adventuring through a red-light district, midgar’s sewers, and finally kidnapped by the turks. feeling responsible for her capture, cloud, tifa, and barret break into the shinra building and are able to rescue the flower girl before hojo can use her and another innocent creature ( red xiii / nanaki ) for another one of his twisted experiments. once she is safe, the group’s attempt to escape fail and they’re locked away….only to be mysteriously freed where they discover that nearly everyone in the upper floors of the building murdered, including president shinra himself.

   while the group mostly intended to save the planet by destroying shinra, aeris and the others soon learn that there is an even greater threat to the planet: sephiroth. due to be wanted in midgar, the ragtag group of strangers leave the city in order to search for the elusive former general in order to figure out his intentions. this moment jumpstarts aeris’ journey of self-discovery and learning more about her ancestors ⎯⎯⎯⎯ something that she had deliberately avoided until now. as she the group continues to travel the world, aeris slowly begins to not only understand her role as the last cetra but she finally learns of the true purpose of the heirloom her mother had given her all those years ago…

things you should know:

aeris does not die in my portrayal. my blog is canon divergent and is meant to explore how she ( and the story as a whole ) would change if she were to live. i’ve already written about what the differences between the events at the city of the ancients are in my blog canon.

the original game will always be my base. with the remake coming, there will more than likely be changes that i’m willing to adapt to but her personality will always remain faithful towards the OG in case the remake is not. i also pick and choose which parts of the compilation ( crisis core, advent children, etc. ) i wish to acknowledge.

aeris can ‘hear’ other planets too. she might not fully understand what it’s saying as its words might sound muffled or completely like gibberish to her but she can hear it.

my aeris is brown. when describing her in a thread, please don’t describe her skin as pale or white because it is not. she is the equivalent of a south asian woman visually, not western like nomura has stated she’s designed to be ( here is an example of her skin tone if it helps ).

what she’s been up to:

main verse: after being rescued from shinra, aerith quickly becomes a new member of the AVALANCHE crew once they decide to leave midgar. during this period, she and the others travel across the planet to hunt down sephiroth and uncover his true motivations for seeking the promised land. until aeris, along with tifa and barret, leave the main party to travel to the city of the ancients alone.

where to find her:

sector five church:  aeris’ home away from home is an abandoned, dilapidated church in the sector five slums where she has managed to do the impossible: make flowers grow in the slums. children often visit her to play in her church or help tend to the flowers while she’s away.

the upper sectors: towering over the slums is the plate that holds the foundation of midgar. despite popular belief in the slums, people of various wealth live on the plate - from the middle class to the most wealthy.  it is the flower girl’s main place of business and you’re most likely to find her selling flowers on loveless avenue in sector eight.

the highwind: despite the wounds earned during the clash at the city of the ancients, aeris remains with AVALANCHE until the end. once meteor is finally summoned by sephiroth and tifa and barret are rescued in junon, the others return to icicle inn to retrieve aeris. after cloud is found in mideel, aeris remains at the hospital to be treated by its doctor while tifa watches over their comatose leader. after cloud returns to his former self, she mostly stays on the airship whenever they leave to fight.

current plans:

kill sephiroth / save the planet: this is pretty straight forward to be honest.

desired interactions:

if the ff rpc wasn’t so d-e-a-d, i would mostly say canon interactions? i would really like to go more into her general feelings regarding well…everything post-stabbing. it would be a difficult time for her since she’s just been stabbed, she failed to protect the planet, etc. ( there’s also processing what happened at the temple of the ancients: tseng might be dead, we know he’s not, but she thinks so and cloud attacked her ).

more friendships / family / whatever. i’ve actually haven’t gotten into shipping until like…the past year? it’s been nice but also want to make sure all my interactions aren’t just romantic.

this section will be updated™ over time.

things that bother me:

receiving starters about aeris’s flowers or something related to flowers. while it might not seem like a big deal to you, imagine receiving 6 starters and four of them were about the same exact subject. it’s just…really boring so please don’t write about her flowers unless it’s something you really feel is unique enough.

having your muse ‘save’ aeris. unless we’ve discussed this and i’ve agreed to it happening, don’t write it for me. aeris is not weak. she does not need your muses’s protection unless she asks for it. in the original game, she states multiple times that she can handle herself and gets visibly annoyed when people underestimate her: cloud: you gotta be kidding. why do you want to put yourself in danger again? aeris: i’m used to it. cloud: used to it!? ……well, don’t know… getting help from a girl… aeris: a girl!! what do you mean by that!? you expect me to just sit by and listen, after hearing you say something like that!? // cloud: how could I ask you to go along when I knew it would be dangerous? aeris: are you done?

literally everything about crisis core!aeris. having her entire design be retconned because a guy told her he liked pink on her is bad. having him be the one to suggest she sell flowers when she literally lives in straight poverty is bad. having her spend four years writing letters to the equivalent of a high school crush is bad. having so much of her relationship with cloud taken and recycled for zack ( falling in her church, just one date, etc. ) is bad. having her, a person that is literally connect to the planet and has limit breaks that deal with nature itself, be scared of the sky is not only bad but stupid. none of this means that i hate zack as i would still be willing to write ze.rith if there’s chemistry but it would have to be heavily plotted and discussed.

tagged by: no one, i rewrote an old one i did.

tagging: anyone who wants to.