Each new positive spin that Williams tries to put on the situation just makes it sit even worse with me … maybe I’m reading into it too much but the undertone of disrespect is frankly ridiculous

OUAT Rewatch Report Part 4: An Apple Red as Blood through We Are Both, plus Down the Rabbit Hole and Trust Me:

1. ugh poor August. He may have brought it on himself, but he definitely got a shitty deal to begin with—asking a seven year old to protect a baby in a strange world? And somehow magic functions enough to change him back to wood if he fails, but not enough for him to be a living puppet man? Raw deal. Nobody deserves to turn into bad CG and then deaged to conform to an easy happy ending.

2. loooove Mary Margaret’s Mom lecture when she calls Emma out for abducting Henry and abandoning everyone else.

3. Regina really cares about Henry more than the curse at this point. She needed the curse to maintain the life she built, but I do feel like at least half the season she was fighting much more for Henry than for the curse. I suspect that the pilot was set up intending her to be more irredeemable and incapable of love, but Lana Parilla’s performance changed that pretty quick.

4. again I’m confused by the fairies’ involvement in storming the castle. Really, we’re given no reasons why the fairies do anything. So, my theory is that Blue was aware that Rumple made the curse Regina was planning to cast, but not that he was also giving help to Snow and Charming. And she believed that in helping oppose the Evil Queen, they were fighting the Dark One. And I have now formulated a whole theory. It’s not really about good or evil to the fairies, that’s mostly PR. It’s about control over the use of magic. They’ve got a whole industry going, they don’t want freelancers popping up taking their business. They want to control who gets magic solutions and why, they want to control what price is paid, and they behave the way they do for good PR so that people will prefer and trust them. There doesn’t have to be any deeper agenda than that. Blue offers personal support to people whose trust she can gain and fates she can shape. And she offers support to people when her help will mean thwarting or destroying alternate magic users (ie, trying to get Bae to go with Rumple to the land without magic). She definitely seems very invested in eliminating the Dark One.

5. YAY NEAL I’m so excited to see him. I love how his apartment mirrors his father’s homes with his collection of Things. Also love how he has clearly been working hard to do better in the last 10 years. so who sent him the postcard by pigeon? I can’t remember if we’re ever informed about that, but it pretty much has to be August, right? Rumple wouldn’t be so bold and cryptic, and he doesn’t know where Bae is yet, and nobody else would know to alert Neal. Sending an extremely cryptic message is right up August’s alley, at least. I’ll see if the show explains it.

6. I had a whole timeline figured out based on OUATW beginning right after the curse is broken, and I’m trying to figure out whether that is actually correct. Certainly, it either starts during Broken or after the first half of s2 is done—somebody has to be driving Emma’s car around—and the storm at the beginning could be the Wraith attack. On the other hand, Will, Ashley, and Leroy do not act the way anybody acts right after the curse is broken. Will is understandable, he is barely capable of giving a shit about anything without really putting effort into it right now, but Ashley and Leroy? Just being at Granny’s like nothing is wrong? On the other other hand, if OUATW starts later that means Will managed to 100% lay low for the first couple weeks or so after the curse was broken. Not impossible at all, and obviously when s2 was written Will didn’t exist yet so it’s not that big a deal, but… if memory serves, later on when he’s on regular OUAT nobody knows who he is who didn’t know him before the curse? Could he really have never gotten arrested or otherwise made a nuisance of himself and stayed out of trouble for two weeks or however long s2a is, spending his time talking to Jefferson and throwing darts at a picture of Ana? Maybe. I’ll keep watching for timeline clues. I do suspect I am putting more thought into this than the writers did. I am beginning to doubt that this was the best viewing pattern either way. Might be better in the future to complete s2 or the first half of s2 and then watch all of Wonderland. However, even though it wasn’t designed this way, the parallels in watching the episodes interspersed like this are interesting: at the same time Storybrooke is freaking out about their lack of portals, Will just waltzed off into one with the Rabbit. Alice and Will visited Jefferson’s abandoned house, and then Charming tracks him down in Storybrooke. Cora is revealed to be in Fairy Tale Land, and Ana talks about taking over Wonderland. Very interesting.

7. I really enjoy that Dr. whale is just constantly hanging around slightly in the background of the episodes in this session. His big moment of leading an angry mob to confront Regina because that’s how his world deals with this sort of thing was great of course, but I just like how he’s right there when the curse is broken, and shown being distraught, and he’s constantly visible at the front of the groups of people demanding solutions from Charming. I mean, he knows damn well why he was cursed, and even worse than finding out he was cursed and being bombarded with the memories of a. his tragic life and b. that his real self is practically a joke in this world—even worse would be watching everyone else recognize one another and realizing he’s another world removed from the community here. Not surprising that he’s more upset than most, and that he wouldn’t want to talk about it, and that he’d leap to extreme solutions to try to get home (in a few episodes that is).

8. Regina’s redemption begins in earnest here, and I think they did a wonderful job of showing her abusive past and how she continued the cycle without intending to. What bugs me about her redemption arc is that I don’t recall her ever feeling bad or making up for things she did to anyone but Henry. Maybe some of the other main characters. It’s not that they did a bad job with her feelings or characterization, but redemption doesn’t ring true to me if she’s only doing it to please the one person she cares about, and then gets rewarded before she has to put in the hard work. That’s just how I remember it, though. I’ll keep my eyes open. Also, the term wasn’t as heavily used as it is now, but I’m glad the show made it clear that Regina gaslit Henry. I do believe she was doing her best and does love him and was never nearly as abusive as her mother… but she was still emotionally abusive to him, even if she was otherwise a perfect mother.

9. I kind of love Charming struggling to be in charge and maintain order, and really wish we had gotten a lot more episodes of how the town stays functional and solves its problems while the adventure team is out adventuring. Maybe I’m forgetting something.

10. why does Jefferson know that the Enchanted Forest still exists? I guess there’s just… a class of magic people that are portal jumpers, and they have knowledge of other worlds and their magic expresses itself in a specialized way of traveling between worlds that’s different for each one? And for Jefferson, it wasn’t just any hat he made, but this one specific hat that needs ambient magic to function and is able to work separate from him? I don’t think the show ever gives any more explanation than what Jefferson has said so far, so this theory’s as good as any. Maybe he can make a new one only if his old one is destroyed, so he lost his mind trying and couldn’t succeed even in Wonderland because Regina still had his original hat?

Today’s gif selection will be describing Regina, because although I had less trouble finding gifs for each episode I had a good collection for her and she deserves acknowledgement. I’ll probably amass more over time, god knows I’ve already found a few more for Rumple.

Can you list ever reason why you love Supergirl??

I CAN TRY

1. I’m going to start off with one of the sappiest things and say: how much it’s helped me grow. The show has helped me meet and get closer to so many people and when Alex was realizing she was a lesbian, that was around the time I was coming to terms with my own sexuality and it helped. A lot. Maggie especially, because the character (not the actress unfortunately) is an LGBT+ PoC and so am I. Finding out she had a tough time coming out too made me feel less tense and panicked. Because the show gave me an example of how WLW can be happy, and I didn’t have anything else but non-canon gays to help me with that at the time, so it really shaped me and my idea of relationships in ways I can’t complain about.

2. You wouldn’t expect this, but even the whole Karamel thing helped. In short, it showed me what I DON’T want in a relationship with anyone of any gender from any country, continent, or planet. In length, it showed a contrasting difference in outcome of each relationship per episode. Every Karamel-centered episode ended with Kara or Mon-El totally dissatisfied, dishonest, or even angry in some way. Every Supercorp and/or Sanvers centric episode was whole and pure and open and just… gave me a fluffy feeling about everything. The finale for S1 was good, and joyful, and showed that Kara felt safe with her peers even though she ended up single. At the end of S2, she leaves her sister, her boss, her friends—everything she felt awesome about last finale, hmm—and she’s flying off, brooding about a guy who brought the goddamn apocalypse. But hey, at least S1 and S2 have something in common. She’s frowning about Mon-El either way. Except in S1, she stands with her family and maintains the love for everyone she knows which she’s built all fucking season! In S2, she’s alone! And clearly destroyed! And basically, it’s a perfect example of how a good relationship ending vs a toxic one ending. James Olsen, the good boyfriend AND good ex. Get you a man who can do both.

3. Just, I’ve never said this and gone really deep about it, but—Supercorp. Everything would be set up as golden endgame. But even if it isn’t romantic by the end of S3 (or the entire series), it’s still such a wholesome addition to the show. It’s still a great example of how supportive and uplifting and healing female friendships can be, and if it’s canon at any point, it’s equally great—it would be not the first, but the SECOND healthy and functioning WLW relationship on this show. There have been what, four, (maybe five if you count Clois which I won’t because we have literally no idea about Lois and Clark’s relationship which has only ever been compared to Karamel and we know how that goes) good and functioning relationships—Eliza and Jeremiah (rip that because Eliza is pretty much written off as The Mom idk how she’s doing upon finding out Jeremiah’s working to deport or destroy their own daughter but. for another time, friends), James and Kara, Jack and Lena, then Alex and Maggie. For another one of the main cast to be in an LGBT+ relationship would not only be good for the viewers and help a loooot of people with coming out to family and even themselves, but also good for the ratings. Supergirl is bi*! Imagine, it would skyrocket because I’m pretty sure she’d be !!one of!! the first female superheroes in an LGBT+ relationship. And that’s why I’m really unsure of why it ISN’T canon yet but. Okay, CW. Supercorp is just incredible, okay? I thought I lost Rilaya to Disney Channel but here they are, reborn, alive and healthy, and gayer than ever.

4. J'onn J'onzz’s entire arc fascinates me. Survivor’s guilt is captured so well and for J'onn, never truly goes away. I’m not sure if that’s to credit to David Harewood (the actor who plays J'onn if you didn’t know! he’s a gem, follow his Instagram!), or if he’s just written that way, but I like how it’s played out. It feels so real and so painful in the right ways and that seems to be a running theme in this show because—

5. —the next few down this list were going to be the well-rounded and long-lasting effects of events on all of the characters, like Lena with her mother and Lex (which has actually shaped the way my mother treats me IRL for the better so yooo), and Winn with his father (his one-liners fucking ruin me someone that isn’t Lyra please love him), and James with his entire ‘damsel in distress’ to 'sidekick dudebro’ experience with both Supers (which is also relatable?? and I like how it doesn’t leave him ruined??? he grows and shapes himself and that’s just????? so amazing to witness on television ??!!), Maggie with all her exes, Cat Grant with Adam and presumably Adam and Carter’s dads, M'gann with the guilt of her people’s doings (so the CW DOES know how to write that… interesting), it’s all so realistic and just, I like how they don’t just drop it as soon as the episode is over. It’s a running theme and it’s part of their character development and that’s something that I still firmly believe is done better in The Flash (2014) but is still very well done in Supergirl, and it’s really been a good example on how you can be a villain or a victim, but it’s all in what you do with the guilt or do with the pain. If you choose to grow, or choose to wallow. It’s up to you and this show has moved me so much to grow.

6. Since my answers are really lengthy at this point, I’m going to cut it short and just rave about how enthusiastic the cast is. (*cough* Melwood is PR so I’m not counting that. *cough*) David really is Space Dad. Melissa really is Kara “Awkward Sunshine” Danvers. Chyler really is Supportive GF Alex Danvers (and she’s not even a lesbian! she’s married! and her husband [from what I can tell] is very supportive of this!!!!! I love them both sm!). And they’re just… all so good to each other, and to their fans. It makes me so proud, and gives so much hope for friendships that have already been formed because of a mutual love of them and this show has just brought so much joy into my life and I could go on about ANYTHING in this show just lemme at 'em.

*Or pan, or anything really. I personally HC her as bi, but that doesn't mean that's the only label she could put on. Read bi as whatever you like! :D

Blockbuster To Start Camp

I'd like to make the joke that this image was Max Pacioretty waving good-bye to the Montreal Canadiens' faithful fans after Marc Bergevin continued to destroy the foundation on which this team was built, but that wouldn't be true. Instead, I'll just focus on the fact that Marc Bergevin continually has made baffling moves as the general manager of the Montreal Canadiens, and another one happened overnight when he traded captain and sniper Max Pacioretty to the Vegas Golden Knights. Say what you want about the Golden Knights and how losing James Neal would affect their scoring, but the Golden Knights have replaced him with a younger, possibly hungrier scorer through Montreal bumbling in how they handled Max Pacioretty's contract negotiations and the player himself. Officially, the Montreal Canadiens dealt Max Pacioretty to the Vegas Golden Knights for forward Tomas Tatar, prospect winger/centerman Nick Suzuki, and a 2019 second-round pick. Yes, the Canadiens had already worked out a deal with the Los Angeles Kings at the deadline last season, but Pacioretty invoked his no-trade clause after Los Angeles wasn't willing to negotiate an extension with the player. The result was that it put the Canadiens in an unenviable position in knowing they had tried to deal their star away while the player was able to prevent that from happening.

Look, if the writing wasn't on the wall for Pacioretty after the failed Los Angeles trade, he had to know that something was up as the summer progressed with little traction being made on an extension in Montreal. That being said, Pacioretty did the PR campaign well: he stated he never asked to be traded, he loved being a Canadien, his heart was in Montreal, or some twist of all three of those messages. Literally, Pacioretty said everything he was supposed to say as a veteran, as a leader, and as the captain of the Montreal Canadiens. He seemed prepared to go into camp and do everything asked of him by the Montreal brass. That all changed after George McPhee and Marc Bergevin had a late-night phone conversation. If you're the Vegas Golden Knights, you're slowly putting things together without Nate Schmidt but with Max Pacioretty on the roster. Paul Stastny now has a legitimate sniper with which he can be paired, and that should allow William Karlsson to do his thing on the second line just as effectively with Reilly Smith and Jonathan Marchessault once more. Adding Pacioretty moves a 29 year-old goal scorer into 31 year-old James Neal's spot on the roster, but Vegas is getting a proven leader who play the power forward role as effectively as Neal as his stats show. Pacioretty has scored 226 goals in 626 NHL games for a rate of 0.36 goals-per-game. Neal has notched 263 goals in 703 games for a rate of 0.37 goals-per-game. Given that Neal has played with some elite centermen in his time - Evgeni Malkin, Brad Richards, Mike Ribeiro - compared to the centerman that have played with Pacioretty - David Desharnais, Tomas Plekanec, Alex Galchenyuk - there's a good chance that we may see an uptick in Pacioretty's production when both men's careeers are over. Pacioretty has scored more points-per-game (0.72) compared to Neal (0.70) over that same time, so perhaps we shouldn't be solely focused on just the goal-socring of Pacioretty as he sits just 10 career assists behind James Neal despite Neal playing 77 more games that Pacioretty. On the flip side, Montreal just game up their best goal scorer since 2011-12 by a large margin for what amounts to a career restart in Tatar, a solid junior-hockey playmaker in Suzuki, and a bag of magic beans in the second-round pick. Pacioretty had outscored every other Canadiens player since 2011-12, and led second-place Brenden Gallagher by nearly 100 goals over that same span. Just looking at the last two seasons, no player scored more goals or more points than Pacioretty. The closest player in goals? Paul Byron who has shown consistency in finding the back of the net, but was still ten goals back of Pacioretty over the last two seasons. The next closest player in points? Alex Galchenyuk with 95 points, and he's now playing for the Arizona Coyotes. Look, there's no easy way to say this, but the Montreal Canadiens are going to struggle to score goals this season after trading away their top two point producers over the span of the last two seasons. Brenden Gallagher has an outstanding campaign last year, but that productivity seems highly unlikely to continue. Byron, as stated above, has found some consistency and Jonathan Drouin appears to be settling into his role, but there's a couple of major pieces of the scoring puzzle gone for the Montreal Canadiens because of some terrible mismanagement by the front office and coaching staff. If Jack Hughes is looking at possible places to play next season, he may want to start brushing up on his French. At this point, I'm not sure there will be a team who is worse than this in the NHL this season. And that's saying something with the likes of Ottawa and Carolina purging their rosters. Until next time, keep your sticks on the ice! from Sports News http://hockey-blog-in-canada.blogspot.com/2018/09/blockbuster-to-start-camp.html

The Top Whatever: Ranking college football teams after everything went all non-Alabama

The Top Whatever is a weekly ranking of only the college football teams that really need to be ranked at the moment. If you’re looking for the polls, those will be over here.

1. Alabama.

A boring, crushing, pleasantly consistent, 41-9 win over Arkansas.

Tell everyone who tried to find a different No. 1 team: welcome back. We tried to find others. How’d that work out? Did the Tide not process everyone like so much meat falling into the grinder? Did they not render almost every game a tedious scrimmage after the first 15 minutes?

Did that OTHER TEAM — maybe one you chose instead of Alabama as the nation’s best team — do something really stupid, like lose to Syracuse? On a Friday, no less? Did that OTHER TEAM go to Tempe and make a few late-night mistakes? (To be fair: Tempe is made for mistakes.) Did that OTHER TEAM, which seemed so much shinier and more interesting, score three points in a blowout at Cal? Did the diamond in the rough do something drastic, like losing to an underachieving Boise State?

They probably did. Everyone learned a few old lessons in Week 7.

Alabama remains the least entertaining and steadiest bet because of their bottomless depth chart and their ability to run the ball, pass just enough to win, and reduce whatever the opposing team is attempting to do to ashes by the second quarter.

Coming off a disappointing performance against Texas A&M, the Tide were the surest bet in the college football universe to win a blowout. This is mostly because Nick Saban undoubtedly made life for everyone around him a living hell this week, right down to his 8,827 coach-strong consultancy watching film until their eyes bled.

It’s cute to consider other teams, even if Alabama might — might — be beatable with a perfect storm. The offense remains largely one-dimensional and dependent on the run. The defense, like all defenses, can be broken down by a mobile quarterback having an insanely good game. The Tide fumbled two punts against Arkansas, something Saban mentioned in his postgame presser, because of course Saban mentioned that in his postgame presser.

They’re beatable, but they won’t do things to embarrass you. They won’t call you from jail in Syracuse, talking about how they lost a barfight with a giant orange. They won’t have a crazy story about losing your debit card in a bar in Arizona. (Those charges afterward are going to be weird.) They won’t lose to Cal. Alabama might do a lot of things in 2017, but dammit, we swear this: they won’t embarrass you by losing to Cal.

2. Georgia.

Won a rollicking, 53-28 matchup with Mizzou. That may look like a lot of points to give up to Missouri, but remember that playing the Tigers in 2017 is a lot like facing a button-masher in a fighting video game. They don’t know what they’re doing, everything good that happens is an accident, and after an initial flurry, they will collapse.

At 7-0, there are few mysteries about Georgia. They play brilliant defense. Their finesse/speed back, Sony Michel, hit poor DeMarkus Acy so hard, his feelings should have been hurt. When your speed back is doing things like that, you are in a rare, rare space as a football team.

When Georgia’s gone 7-0 before, it meant SEC titles at least, and in one modern case — the hallowed 1980 season — it meant a national championship. There is no snide joke about inevitably losing to Florida or Alabama here. I’ve been preparing my soul for the real possibility of consistently good Georgia football for several months now. For your own protection, I suggest you do the same.

3. TCU.

A 26-7 win over Kansas State. The Frogs continue to be whatever they have to be. Kansas State wanted to dominate possession, so TCU shut down the K-State run game, especially in short-yardage situations K-State has long dominated. From there, it was a matter of Kenny Hill being efficient, the Horned Frogs’ defense putting pressure on a backup quarterback, and the defense carrying the team.

And if the circumstances are reversed next week against Kansas — indulge the fantasy for a moment, okay — then TCU can probably still win, because they remain one of the few real complete teams. The offense can be efficient or explosive as needed, and the defense can apply pressure or fall back in coverage.

TCU is not the most talented team in the nation, and that might not matter at all because they are the most flexible. Flexible is hard to beat: just when you think you have one thing covered, TCU reaches an inch further than you can and creates a whole new problem just out of your reach. (Also: Kenny Hill, efficient quarterback! 2017 is stranger than we could have predicted.)

4. Miami.

A 25-24 thriller over Georgia Tech. Miami may or may not be a very good team overall, but I feel confident saying this:

The best team in the nation in the last two minutes of a game in 2017 might be Miami.

The absolute best team in the nation in the last 30 seconds of a football game is Miami.

The best receiver in the nation in the last 30 seconds of a football game is Miami’s Darrell Langham.

If you want to beat Miami, it’s probably best to have a large lead before the last two minutes of a football game. We recommend like, three touchdowns or so, just to be safe.

Also, the Canes beat a mean-ass Georgia Tech team custom-built for the letdown game Miami was supposed to have after beating Florida State. That’s no small accomplishment, especially since Miami politely handed Tech a touchdown on a failed surprise onside kick attempt.

This ended up being completely worth it since it broke commentator/perpetually terrified risk-phobe Rod Gilmore’s brain for the remainder of the game. If Rod Gilmore called the X Games, he would die screaming sometime in the second hour. “WHY WOULD YOU GO UPSIDE DOWN, EVER? WHY? IT’S TOO DANGEROUSSSSSSS—”

5. Wisconsin.

Beat Purdue, 17-9, a victory that is worth more than it used to be, via Purdue being interesting and good now. Wisconsin will probably win the West. Then, they will clean out the remainder of their schedule and step bravely into the ring in Indianapolis to take a 30-point loss from whatever monster roars in from the Big Ten East.

And that’s fine, because remember: Wisconsin will probably finish with a lovely, fat bowl junket to enjoy, and their former coach, Gary Andersen, just gave up $12 million so he could leave Corvallis, Oregon. Context is everything.

6. USF.

Defeated Cincinnati 33-3. The Department of Zero Sum Thinking would like to point out that, given the sludge remaining on the schedule, the Bulls should launch a PR campaign to pump up the reputation of the UCF Knights. UCF is the only remaining team of quality on the Bulls’ schedule, and USF needs to do everything it can to make that look like a Playoff play-in game.

We recommend targeting gullible voters and influencers with fake articles on Facebook in order to boost the reputation of the American Athletic Conference. Please click to share “TULSA BEATS BAMA 56-0” and “NAVY SINKS OHIO STATE 45-2 AT HOME” with all of your online friends. It’s worked before.

7. UCF.

Torched a hapless ECU team, 63-21. Like USF, there’s not much left on the schedule. However, whatever is left will be burned to the foundation, because UCF had 33 first downs yesterday, will probably have 30 first downs in every game moving forward, has a top-five yardage offense, and is hoarding the allotment of offensive touchdowns granted to the entire state of Florida. A terrifying team to face right now, and one that will probably blow up someone up in a major bowl game.

WISELY AVOIDED PLAYING FOOTBALL THIS WEEK

Penn State. Please remember that the Top Whatever ranks only the teams that played this week. The Nittany Lions are a Playoff-quality team at this point and can hammer that point home against a punchless Michigan squad that destroyed them in their last meeting. Will someone email me about this, failing to read all the way down or understand the concept? YOU BET THEY WILL, READER.

SOME OF THE ONE-LOSS TEAMS I’LL PROBABLY START PEPPERING IN NEXT WEEK, WHEN AND IF I FEEL LIKE IT, PRESENTED IN NO PARTICULAR ORDER

Ohio State. J.T. Barrett threw five TDs in a single game against Nebraska. Yes, that’s legal now.

Oklahoma. Baker Mayfield flew off the field after a win over Texas wearing a golden cowboy hat and riding an invisible horse. This sentence is literal, and we are making nothing up.

Baker Mayfield waited patiently for possession of the golden hat…and then galloped off the field at the Cotton Bowl on an imaginary horse. http://pic.twitter.com/pz0viRbPkJ

— George Schroeder (@GeorgeSchroeder) October 15, 2017

NC State. We’re just as shocked as you are, okay?

Clemson. Injuries piling up really shouldn’t relegate them to the B-pile just yet. Also, and we say this with all sincerity: Syracuse was due to kneecap someone, and Clemson walked in at exactly the wrong moment.

Michigan State. [gestures at undefeated record in Big Ten, waves hands, shrugs, walks away from chalkboard dotted with inscrutable equations, shaking head]

Michigan. Starting to think overleveraging a team’s futures on the market based mostly on a blowout of an impotent Florida might have been a bad idea.

Notre Dame. Starting to think shorting a team’s futures on the market based mostly on a narrow loss to a really good Georgia might have been a bad idea.

USC. Sam Darnold didn’t throw an interception against Utah despite throwing the ball 50 times. Darnold threw 9 INTs for the entire 2016 season; he’s thrown nine in 2017. This is what an optimist would take away from this: Apparently Darnold just gets nine INTs in a season, can budget them however he likes, and got them all out of the way early this year. He did fumble twice and lose another off a teammate’s facemask, however.

Washington. It will be so hard to justify putting them in a Playoff, given the weakness of that schedule, and their losing in the exact, excruciating way they lost to Arizona State. Plus their rivalry game got a lot less lustrous rankings-wise, thanks to Wazzu completely befouling their bed at Cal. WASHINGTON STATE TRANSITIVELY RUINING YOUR SEASON, HUSKIES! Even their losses spite you.

Kentucky. If you got this far down in the column, congratulations on paying attention and realizing that Kentucky is 5-1, and would be 6-0, if they had decided to cover two Florida receivers. We’re probably not going to rank them just yet, but thank you for reading this far. The best easter eggs are the ones you don’t have to make up.