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cyhyr · 3 years

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Whumpmas In July: Hope

Fandom: Naruto

Rating: E

Pairing: Hatake Kakashi/Umino Iruka

WC: ~7040

Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply

Notes: Hospitalization, Mental Health Issues, Dissociation, Therapy, Making Up, Communication, Heavy Conversations, Angst, Triggers, Recovery, Frottage, Rimming, Safewords

A/N: Remember how I'm garbage at interpreting prompts? The vibe of Hope is there. But it's not... explicitly stated? This is just a little bit of plot. And a lot of filth.

A/N2: Terminal lucidity is a thing for coma patients; but it's SUPER rare. I am, however, making the shit up about dissociation, if that's not how it works. I just wanna write a fun story where I put this guy through as much pain as possible; and I only ever give myself three days to write these stories and that does not leave time for research. I apologize in advance.

Follow-up to “Secret”

For @whumpmasinjuly prompt list

Read on The Archive

Kakashi has time built up. He hasn’t taken time for himself since Rin—oh, but anyway—and so he’s able to wait. And wait. He stays in the village, walking around during the day and hanging in one specific tree outside the hospital at night.

In the dim light of the early morning, Kakashi crouches outside the window of Iruka’s hospital room and watches over him as he sleeps. Once he brought Iruka back to the village, Tomi-sensei admitted him for inpatient care. She promised to oversee his care personally, and reported directly to Tsunade morning and night.

It’s been almost a week.

…

Kakashi watched Iruka stumble back from Mizuki, hands dripping blood into the floor. The kunai drops with an echoing thud to the floor—

Followed by Iruka, dropping hard to his knees.

Kakashi skidded in behind him and clutched him, back to his chest. The pack whined and yipped around him and he couldn’t care because Iruka was under again and there’s no reason for it.

“Love? Iruka, please, talk to me.”

“Boss—”

“No, Urushi,” he snapped. He turned Iruka in his lap, cradled him in the crook of one arm and braced him against his knee. “Iruka, please,” he begged, shaking him gently.

“Bull, Bisuke, Shiba—get the doc and bring her in here,” Pakkun barked.

Kakashi fell back on his heels and pulled Iruka into his lap, ever closer. “Iruka, tell me what you need, please.”

Iruka’s eyes were distant and unfocused, his breath coming in soft pants. He was limp in Kakashi’s arms, a soft weight on his thighs.

The door opened and a high-pitched gasp caught his attention. Kakashi turned to face Rikona as she stepped closer, three of the pack herding her along with bared teeth.

“What’s happening to him?” he growled.

Rikona crossed the cabin, knelt beside him, and hovered her fingertips over Iruka’s neck. “I…”

“Do your fucking job,” he hissed.

She checked his pulse, held fingers in front of his open mouth, and tipped his chin up to look in his eyes. She frowned. “Why is he bloody?”

“Look behind you.”

Rikona did, and choked on a scream.

Kakashi held back a smirk. She still hadn’t told him how this could have happened.

“Mi-Mizu—”

“We don’t care about the dead rapist,” Kakashi seethed. “What happened to Iruka? Why is he under???”

“Dissociation, especially in Iruka-sensei’s case, is a defensive response,” Rikona answers quickly. “The mind can’t handle current events, and as such it just. Turns off. Sometimes learned behaviors can be conditioned during these times, as they… seem to have been, with him. B-but mostly he’s just… overwhelmed.”

“So he’ll wake up in a little bit?”

“I don’t… I don’t know. He’s been slipping under too much lately, and having been forced under just tonight… I swear, Hatake-san, I didn’t know—”

“You think I give a fuck about your apologies right now???” Kakashi snapped. In his arms, Iruka flinched hard, and tears started welling up in the corners of his eyes. “Shit, Love, no, please, not you, not you,” he whispered quickly, rocking them both back and forth, petting Iruka’s hair and kissing his forehead, his eyelids, his cheeks. “Everything’s alright, I’m sorry, I’m sorry…”

“Bring him to Tomi-sensei,” Rikona said softly, gently; she didn’t seem to want to invoke a negative response in either of them. “She knows about his episodes, she can design a treatment program for him.”

“What, and leave you here?”

“I plan to turn myself in,” Rikona reiterated.

“Forgive me if I can’t trust you,” Kakashi gritted. “Pack, two to the Hokage to report the incident, the rest escort her to T&I.” He gathered Iruka into his arms, sliding his arm under his knees and pressing his way up to standing. Bull came behind him to brace him as he stood. “Thanks,” he muttered down at him once he was on his feet.

Pakkun shook his head. “Go. Get Iruka-Boss to the hospital. We’ll check in when we can.”

Kakashi flickered away through a smashed window. With Iruka tucked against him, he flew through the trees back to the village.

(He doesn’t remember crying.)

(He doubts he made it the whole way without shedding at least one tear.)

…

Tomi-sensei says he’s making progress. Tsunade tells him that she won’t let Iruka stay under forever; that she’ll find a way to bring him back.

Kakashi watches Iruka open his eyes, still glassy and unfocused. He leaves the tree once his nurse comes in to help Iruka get cleaned up and fed.

He’s so tired.

Rikona doesn’t get a trial. Once before them, she admits to everything before the Counsel and the Hokage.

It doesn’t stop Kakashi from catching up to the ANBU team escorting her to prison and asking for a few minutes alone with her.

And if she needs Otter to heal her arm from the multiple fractures she sustains after that meeting… and if Otter messes up their jutsu enough that the fractures don’t all heal correctly… and if Rikona never regains full range of motion for her arm…

Well. They can’t pin that on Kakashi.

The ANBU team never saw him.

And he was also seen sparring with Gai at the time.

He’s stepping over Bull to get to the living room, watering can in hand. When Iruka comes home, his plants will be perfect. The whole pack is lounging around the room; Iruka would love having his house so full.

He finishes watering one plant, and a knock comes at the front door. Kakashi glares down at all the ninken and says, “What, no warning?”

“It’s just a messenger,” Shiba groans.

Kakashi goes to the door and presses his palm to the wood to undo the seals. When he opens the door, a genin messenger stands on the porch.

He bows. “Hatake-san. Tomi-sensei has asked that you come to the hospital.”

Kakashi nods, projecting calm for the genin, and shuts the door.

The calm, of course, was a façade. “PACK, DISPERSE.” He throws his feet into his sandals and feels the pull on his chakra from the ninken release as they all leave. He slips his vest and hitai-ate on, resets the wards, and takes off out the kitchen window—the one that faces in the direction of the hospital.

He’s across the village and launching himself through the window beside the admission desk on the third floor mental health unit in minutes. Aiko-chan startles at his palms slamming down on her desk, but she smiles and points to the hallway leading to Tomi-sensei’s office. He passes the few people in the waiting room, not quite running anymore, not while he’s inside the hospital, and stops in front of Tomi-sensei’s door

He knocks.

“Come in.”

The door creaks softly as he pushes it open. He’s spent so much time in this office over the last week, discussing treatment options and hearing how much progress Iruka seems to be making. He doesn’t want to step foot in a hospital again after he gets Iruka home.

Tomi-sensei smiles when she catches his eye. He barely spares her a glance before he’s falling to his knees in front of one of the two other chairs on the other side of her desk, placing one hand on the arm of the chair and reaching the other up, hesitantly, to cup Iruka’s cheek.

“Hello, Love,” Iruka says, his voice soft and weak.

Kakashi’s voice is just as soft, and he desperately holds back the urge to cry. “You’re okay?”

Iruka shakes his head. “Definitely not. I… I killed him, Kakashi.”

“Rikona’s in prison.”

“And she tricked—!”

“Gods, I’m sorry,” Kakashi shoves his head into Iruka’s chest, the hospital scrubs too clean and smelling of bleach and it’s overriding Iruka’s own scent—the scent he’d lost, fuck—and that just can’t stand. He reaches one hand around Iruka’s back and slides it up and under the back of his shirt, to feel warm skin on his palm, and he leans up and nuzzles into Iruka’s neck and oh there he is.

Iruka

“You have nothing to apologize for,” Iruka says, guiding him closer with a hand on the back of his head. “This. It’s just another hurdle.”

“It’s a big fucking hurdle.”

Iruka shakes with silent, humming laughter. “Still. I’m here, Kakashi.”

“I—”

Tomi-sensei clears her throat softly, interrupting them. “Hatake-san, he’ll need to stay under surveillance for at least two more days, to be sure this resurfacing isn’t terminal lucidity.”

“Terminal…?” He pulls out of Iruka’s neck and looks at her. “What is that?”

“Similar to a coma patient,” Tomi starts. “There are cases wherein a coma patient wakes up, feels perfectly fine for a few hours or a day or two, and then dies anyway. In a similar fashion, we’re understandably concerned for Iruka-sensei’s mental state; that this might be like one final gasp before he dissociates permanently.”

Kakashi turns back to Iruka and leans in again. He slips his hitai-ate off, and presses his temple against Iruka’s chest to hear his heartbeat. Iruka holds his hitai-ate for him, and holds him, and the thought that he could lose this for good settles in his gut and—and—

One tear falls from each eye; his own, and Obito’s.

Kakashi stays just outside the hospital, in the same tree beside Iruka’s window, for two more days. Tomi-sensei lets him visit during the day, and he does and he keeps Iruka company; she says that physical contact could help Iruka remain present. He holds Iruka’s hands and presses kisses to whatever skin he’s allowed and helps him go through his sensory exercises every hour and a half. The kitchen sends up a second lunch and dinner for him so he can eat beside Iruka, and when Iruka eyes his gelatin he gladly gives it up in exchange for a kiss.

And then when visiting hours are over and Iruka has to go to sleep, Kakashi kisses him one last time and jumps out the window. He pretends, for Iruka’s sake, to go home; he really just hides up on the roof for an hour and then goes down to the tree and waits for morning.

If something were to happen…

But the two days of surveillance pass without a hitch and when he comes in on the third day, after having run home for a shower and clean blacks, Iruka is eating breakfast with a wide smile and a fresh uniform laid out on the chair beside his bed.

“Hello, Love,” Kakashi says, grinning back. “Good news?”

“Tsunade-sama just left,” Iruka says through a mouthful of rice. He swallows. “I still need a month of leave at least, but I’m cleared to move to outpatient care.” He motions to the uniform, “Shizune-san brought me a new uniform; the one you brought me in with was… um.”

“Unsalvageable.”

“Yes.”

“I would have burned it if they tried to give it back to you.”

Iruka chuckles. “You’re sweet.”

Kakashi shrugs. “You don’t need that kind of reminder soaked into your clothes.”

“Even if they’ve been cleaned?”

“Iruka. You would still know.”

He smiles into his lap. “That’s true. You understand me so well.”

“I love you,” Kakashi sighs. “Understanding comes with the territory.”

Iruka’s blush is gorgeous. “I love you, too.”

“Do you know your therapy schedule?”

“No. Tomi-sensei is scheduled to be here in—um—ten minutes. She’s gonna give me discharge papers and go over a therapy schedule then.”

“Want me to help you get dressed?”

“After I finish eating.”

Kakashi sets the paper bag of prescription bottles on the table in the genkan and offers his hand to Iruka to help him balance so he can toe out of his sandals. One of the side-effects of the medications he’s taking to help keep the dissociation at bay and his mood stable is vertigo.

(Iruka had asked if Kakashi could wait until the lunch hour, when everyone is busy with meals and meetings—and he blushed and stammered all the while he tried to get the words out but finally he muttered, “Could you just… carry me? I can’t—I don’t wanna trip the whole way home…”

“Always.”)

Vests, hitai-ate, wrappings, gloves, most weapons; all get set in their place in the genkan. And then he leads Iruka to the kitchen and sits him down at the table, holding out his arms on either side of Iruka’s shoulders for a moment. “Alright?”

Iruka hasn’t stopped grinning since they left the hospital. “I’m fine, Kakashi.”

He slowly lowers his arms. “Tea?”

“Something weak, please.” Iruka lays his head down on his arms, on the tabletop, and Kakashi feels his eyes tracking him across the kitchen as he moves about. Water in the kettle, kettle on the stove, tea tins out of the cabinet; cups, honey, a spoon; the diffuser of a puppy with its paws curved in such a way that when he puts it on the edge of the cup it’ll hang there while the tea steeps.

After quiet minutes pass and the kettle whistles, Kakashi puts a cup of herbal tea in front of him, the puppy diffuser facing Iruka. He slides the honey closer in case he wants some, but he specifically wants it weak. Iruka takes the diffuser out of the tea a minute later, as Kakashi is placing a plate of crackers on the table within easy reach.

“Not hungry,” Iruka says, cupping his fingers around the tea and inhaling the light floral scent.

“That’s the medication talking,” Kakashi points out. “You should eat. Even just two bites.”

Iruka takes a cracker and nibbles at it. He lifts his head enough to take a sip of tea.

“Love, I… I know I should wait.”

“Kakashi?”

“But I need to know,” Kakashi reaches across the table to link their fingers together. “When you were… dreaming.”

Iruka goes pale, and Kakashi knows.

“It wasn’t Sato, was it?”

His voice is small and reserved. “No. No it wasn’t.”

“And Tsunade-sama said you had received correspondence from Mizuki. Before I came home.”

“I did. Rikona-sensei made it look like it came from the prison, but it wasn’t.”

“But it was his words, and his handwriting.”

“Yes.”

“And you… you hid it from me. You lied to me.”

“I… yes. I did. Kakashi—”

“Why?” He’s trying so hard to keep his voice from going cold, but the anger is rising and Iruka needs to have a good reason, please, gods let him have a good reason.

Iruka puts his head back down on his arms. He looks so tired. He should have waited, but he needs to know. “Tomi-sensei said it’s a thing that… that the abused tend to do.”

Kakashi’s heart stops. Iruka’s never… never referred to Mizuki as abusive, never let Kakashi say it either. He waits for Iruka to continue, and continue he does.

“It’s an ingrained habit; a learned behavior. One that I never… I never unlearned,” Iruka sighs lightly. “The habit to protect him. To shrug off his behavior. To try and… and explain it away, even if only to myself.”

“You were protecting—”

“You’ve expressed a constant desire to kill him. In that exact moment, yes, all I could think about was how do I keep one lover from killing the previous one. That he used to… to—”

Iruka stumbles to his feet and trips over himself to the sink, braces his arms on the counter, and breathes harshly. “He-he… oh gods, I fucking let him do this to me and—”

“Iruka, deep breaths,” Kakashi comes up behind him and places his hand on Iruka’s belly. “Push my hand out, that’s it. Deeper, slower now. I’m sorry, I know this isn’t the time for this conversation—”

“He raped me. He used to even wh-when Naruto was in the next room,” Iruka cries. “He threatened to hurt Naruto, and I gave him myself instead. I gave him everything! And he still. He still. Gods, Kakashi, I killed him. He’s gone. Why don’t I feel… I don’t know, lighter?”

“You still killed, Iruka,” Kakashi says. He keeps his tone low, soothing, pressing his chest along the length of Iruka’s back, stroking Iruka’s belly through his shirt. “You killed him, but you… you loved him, once. That. That’s going to hurt.”

It hurts to say it out loud. That Iruka had once loved that bastard. But, gods, it’s true, isn’t it.

“I wanted to protect him,” Iruka sniffles. “I never wanted you to… I didn’t think it would get this bad. I thought I just needed to sleep it off, that once I got some sleep, I could burn the note and everything would just. Be okay. And then the second letter came—”

“The one Rikona forged, the request.” Kakashi barely held back the growl.

Iruka nods. Kakashi can feel his stomach clench under his palm; he nudges Iruka just a little further over the sink. “And I just. I was slipping. So I went to see her, because it seemed like the thing to do. Because she was supposed to be part of my support system. Because you were already leaving again for another mission and I didn’t want to bother you—”

“You are never a bother, Love,” Kakashi kisses his cheek.

“I just wanted to know how he found me. I didn’t want him dead. I didn’t want to kill him,” Iruka cries harder, tears dripping into the sink. “Gods, Kakashi, I never wanted him dead. He betrayed the village, he hurt Naruto, he—he deserved to live with what he’d done.”

“I know,” Kakashi says; he doesn’t understand, but he knows that that’s Iruka’s position.

“But he leveled that kunai at you and I—I was so far under if it had been anyone else I probably wouldn’t have come back.” Iruka wipes at his face with the back of his hand, takes in a shaky breath. “I’m sorry for lying. I was going to tell you. I just needed to sleep, first.”

“I would have investigated it for you.”

“I wouldn’t have wanted you to,” Iruka shakes his head. “I just wanted you to stay with me. I meant what I said in Rikona’s office. I need you as that steady, sturdy place I can fall when life goes to shit.”

“Still. Iruka, I just wanted to help.”

“You would have tried to kill him.”

Kakashi says nothing to that.

“I couldn’t… can’t. I don’t know—” Iruka shivers against him, and Kakashi hugs him close and rocks them back and forth gently. His hands come up and hold onto Kakashi’s arms, and Kakashi buries his face in Iruka’s neck. “I remember,” Iruka starts slowly, “when we were teenagers, my jōnin-sensei asked about the bruises on my neck, my wrists, m-my hips, once when we went to an onsen. And I remember telling her that my boyfriend and I just like it rough. And she was. She was so upset.”

“There were many people who were aware of what was happening,” Kakashi says slowly, “but we couldn’t do anything unless you spoke up, or we caught him in the act. And your apartment was always perfectly sealed.”

Iruka freezes. “You. You knew?”

“I was never on those squads,” Kakashi says, now leading Iruka by the hands to the living room, so they could sit back down. “I only heard about it from Sandaime, and from the ANBU locker room. The old man had squads watching over you on nights Mizuki would stay over.”

“How many… how many people know?”

“Iruka.”

“How many?”

“There were only ever the two squads, that I knew about,” Kakashi sighs, bringing Iruka to sit on the couch. “Of those, half are dead. Two are retired. The other two are still active. They were usually really good about only talking about it when they were alone, but I walked in on their conversations a few times. I’m sure others did, too.”

Iruka leans his head in his palms, his elbows on his knees.

Kakashi rubs his back. “Love, I had an idea of what I was getting into. And I decided that you were worth it anyway.”

Iruka makes a soft, keening sound. “Sap.”

“I keep choosing you, every day, after every trial we go through. And I fully intend to keep choosing you for a long time.”

“Oh gods, Kakashi, you can’t just say that.”

“I forgive you for lying,” Kakashi says, shifting closer and nuzzling Iruka’s hair. “Just don’t ever keep stuff like that from me again, please.”

Iruka leans into him, removing his hands from his face. He looks up at Kakashi and those eyes are glistening with tears still unshed and it hurts Kakashi’s heart to see him cry, so he carefully brushes the tears back and strokes his fingers down the side of Iruka’s face. And… it’s been long enough, hasn’t it?

“Gods, Iruka,” Kakashi murmurs, “You…”

He smiles softly and the room warms and Kakashi’s breath hitches.

“Me?” Iruka asks.

Kakashi pulls Iruka up to lay on his chest, holding him close. He pushes Iruka’s bangs back—they’d fallen out of the low tie at the back of his neck. It’s been two months, and he knows that he could fuck this up if he’s not really ready for this, but gorgeous and striking and handsome just don’t cut it and he needs—he needs—

“You’re so beautiful,” Kakashi whispers.

And his heart picks up, but Iruka stays in front of him and even grips him tighter.

Part of the therapy schedule includes a couple’s therapy session and Kakashi hates it, but for Iruka he goes. And once he’s there he just… zones out.

He watches the window; the trees waving in the wind outside. He holds Iruka’s hand and lets him talk and field all the questions and when their hour is up he stands and follows Iruka out. Iruka doesn’t seem upset at his lack of desire to participate, just… resigned.

It happens twice.

The third time, Kakashi tries. He pays attention.

The therapist—Osamu-sensei—asks if they’ve decorated the upstairs, what is to be Naruto’s room when he returns from training with Jiraiya. Iruka looks embarrassed for a moment, like he doesn’t want to answer.

“We’re waiting for Naruto to come home,” Kakashi says, “so he can pick out his own furnishings.”

It startles both Iruka and Osamu-sensei, but the therapist brightens up immediately. “You think of Iruka-sensei’s house as home, too, then?”

“I… well, I think of Iruka as home,” Kakashi admits. This is therapy. If he can’t admit it here, then where?

Iruka blushes a deep red, so very fetching with his eyes.

“And, Iruka-sensei, your response?”

“That’s. Um. Honestly, I just hadn’t had the time. It’s only been about a month since I moved and we’ve not heard from Naruto in… a while. So. I figure we have time.”

Osamu-sensei nods. “Looking at the future, then. Both of you.” He makes a scribble. “I’m very happy you’ve joined the conversation, Kakashi-san.”

“Maa… it’s to help Iruka, so,” he shrugs, and he hopes it comes off as nonchalant.

“Even if that’s your motivation, we’re glad to have you.”

The session goes by faster after that.

And Iruka’s happier when they get home, so much happier. Three weeks on the medication and he’s adjusted to most of the side-effects, even if the full effect of the mood stabilizers won’t occur for another two or three weeks. They get inside and strip off vests, wrappings, hitai-ate, sandals—and once they’re down to their uniform blacks Iruka takes his hands and leads him to the bedroom.

“Can I—?”

“Are you ready for this?” Kakashi interrupts him, stopping them just in the doorway.

Iruka presses his palms to Kakashi’s chest and grins. “Are you going to let a dead man stop me from stripping for you?”

Kakashi groans. “I’m trying to be a good person. I’m trying. So hard. To be what you need to recover.”

Iruka backs up into the bedroom, pulling his shirt up and over his head. He throws the shirt at Kakashi's face and says, “Yes, I know. So, so hard.”

Kakashi catches the shirt and pulls it away, to watch as Iruka continues by unbuttoning his trousers and slowly lowering the zip. His mouth goes dry.

“Kakashi, I want you,” Iruka says, shimmying out of his trousers, kicking them aside, and then he’s standing in front of the bed—their bed, in all but name, gods—in his boxers and sticking his thumbs in the elastic and pulling down, down, down…

“Iruka. Please. Please don’t tease—”

“Who said I’m teasing? Don’t you want me, too?”

“Fuck, yes.”

“Then why are you still in the doorway?”

He’s not, not for long. He tears his own shirt off over his head as he stalks forward, tossing it carelessly aside and then reaching for Iruka, Iruka, bare and bronze and warm, and skimming his fingertips over chest, waist, arms, abs—

“Kakashi, please,” Iruka whimpers, his own arms coming up and encircling his neck.

“Ask. Whatever you want, Love, it’s yours,” he murmurs.

“Kiss me.”

He does, oh he does. Kakashi catches Iruka’s lips in his teeth and moves their mouths together gently to find a rhythm of kisses and licking and breathing, designed to overwhelm Iruka with sensation and keep him here. The most precious sounds escape his throat, soft moans and sighs as he trails his hands over Kakashi’s shoulders and down his chest. Kakashi reaches down with both hands and cups Iruka’s ass, groaning deep in his chest as he squeezes each cheek.

“Hold on,” he mutters against Iruka’s lips. His arms tighten around his neck, and then Kakashi lifts Iruka, his weight full in his hands and the plush warmth of his ass spilling from between his fingers. Iruka swings his legs around Kakashi’s waist and Kakashi groans into their kiss to feel the flex and stretch of muscle under his palms. He steps closer to the bed, turns, and sits down with Iruka on his lap.

They’re both hard. He needs to remove layers. Shit, he should have taken his trousers off first.

Iruka’s still kissing him, fingers in his hair and teeth biting at his mouth; his hips, at the same time, are rocking slowly across his thighs and he’s driving Kakashi crazy. He shifts back along the bedspread, keeping Iruka attached to him at the hips. And then Iruka puts a hand in the center of his chest and gently pushes, and Kakashi falls first to his elbows, and then all the way to his back.

He grabs Iruka’s hips, flexes his own, and shifts them fully onto the bed. Iruka groans at the movement, bracing his hands on Kakashi’s shoulders. He looms over Kakashi, and smiles down at him.

It’s perfect.

Iruka grinds back against Kakashi’s cock and it’s heaven and hell at the same time. “Love you,” Kakashi rambles breathlessly. “Fucking sexy, riding me like this, gods Iruka you look perfect—love you, love you, love you.”

“Kakashi—oh—”

He bites his lip and tosses his head back, frotting faster and harder and Kakashi gets his hands back on where they belong, pulls him closer and tighter and relishes the loud moan he receives.

“Gods among us, Iruka, your ass—”

He plants his feet and grinds, holding Iruka against him all the while. The pressure, the friction, the heat; it’s maddening. He’s panting, desperate for a good breath and unable to take one.

“K’shi, I—ahh, yes, fuck—wanna… want, oh-oh—”

“Whatever you want. Take it. It’s yours.”

Iruka leans down and kisses him again, slowing their hips to a more gentle frot and tweaking one of his nipples. Kakashi groans and lets himself be devoured, panting into Iruka’s mouth while their tongues slip and slide together. Iruka’s kisses slow to a simmer, both of them gasping and touching and still slowly grinding.

Iruka licks their lips; laughs lightly; and says, “I want. I wanna ask for something. A-and it just—I don’t like asking because it always feels like a bad idea at the time, like if I want it, there’s no way you also could want it… y’know?”

“Iruka. Love. Please ask. The last time you had one of these so-called ‘bad ideas’ it turned into one of my favorite things you do for me.”

It helps immensely that Iruka also enjoys warming Kakashi’s cock.

Iruka flushes dark and holds himself up on his palms, braced on the pillow to either side of Kakashi’s ears. His boxers have a damp spot, one that Kakashi can feel against his belly as Iruka continues to slowly rock his hips back and forth over Kakashi’s own erection.

“Okay. Um.” Iruka’s eyes shut tight, and Kakashi grins. Whatever he’s going to ask, he’s sure to enjoy it. “Well, so I was. Thinking. About things I never did with… anyway. And during a break from him, there was this one guy—”

“Love?”

“Gods, okay. Um.” He takes a deep breath and spits it out at once: “Haveyouevereatenass??”

Kakashi blinks.

Stares.

His heart skips. Multiple times.

“Kakashi?” Iruka’s voice is small. He looks away—no, wait, come back—“I didn’t think it would—”

“You would. I… could?” Kakashi takes in a loud breath and lets it go shakily. “Oh gods. Yes. Now? Can we do that now? Please. Please, fuck, sit on my face; if I die, I die smothered by the best ass ever. Let me; oh shit, Iruka—”

He laughs nervously. “Kakashi, okay, just. Let me go take a shower first, yeah?”

Kakashi groans. “Nooo,” he squeezes Iruka’s ass—the same ass he’s going to fucking devour oh fuck—“Now.”

“You whine worse than my pre-genin.” Iruka lifts himself off of Kakashi, stands next to the bed and stretches; his boxers fall just a little lower and Kakashi’s eyes focus on the trail of hair from his navel disappearing under the elastic. His mouth is horribly dry. Iruka grins down at him. “Would you like to come in the shower with me?”

Kakashi shakes his head. “I can’t. You. Wet. Fingering yourself. Nope. Can’t do it.”

Iruka laughs outright and leans back over and kisses him softly. “Alright. I’ll be right back.”

I’ll be here. Kakashi picks his head up just enough to watch Iruka go, biting his lip at the subtle sway of his hips; he knows what he’s doing, that minx.

Iruka leans against the wall beside the bedroom door, a towel around his waist and his hair damp and loose around his shoulders. He is trying desperately to pull himself together. He knew going into this that Kakashi was either going to be grossed out or ecstatic. Himself? He’s excited, but just as he had been the first time they tried something… new, he is worried.

Triggers could happen regardless.

He heaves deep breaths, his shoulders moving with the force of them.

Three. Two. One.

He turns and goes inside. The door creaks softly under his palm and his eyes widen at the sight of Kakashi, spread out on his bed, idly stroking his cock with a loose fist. Both eyes are closed and his head is turned to the side, showing off the elegant curve of his neck. He’s flushed to his chest, panting lightly; his other hand is busy with his nipple, tweaking and pinching it to an inflamed pink.

“Oh, Kakashi,” Iruka groans. “How long. What. Fuck.”

“Very… hmm, articulate, Love.”

Iruka huffs a laugh, and crosses the room to stand beside the bed. Kakashi doesn’t stop touching himself; but he does open his eye.

“You. You look gorgeous,” Iruka says, skimming his fingertips along Kakashi’s abdomen, dipping a fingertip in his navel.

“And you need to sit on my face.”

Iruka feels his face heat up fast. “I-I never said I would do that.”

“Let me die a happy man, please.”

“Kakashi.”

He laughs, stops fondling himself, and rolls up to sit on the edge of the bed. Reaching out for Iruka, he pulls him closer with gentle tugs on his towel, and then buries his face in Iruka’s chest, kissing and licking every bit of skin he can reach without shifting his head too much. He wraps his arms around Iruka’s waist and holds him close, and Iruka moans at the attention and cards his fingers through Kakashi’s hair.

“Want you. Want to taste you. Want you writhing on my tongue,” Kakashi murmurs into his chest, still kissing and nipping him. He latches onto a nipple for a second; Iruka cries out softly, presses his chest further into Kakashi’s mouth. “Please. Please. Want to make you … shit. Fuck. Iruka. I need—”

“S-say it.”

Kakashi looks up at him, awe clear in his face. Iruka strokes the back of his fingers down Kakashi’s cheek. “It’s. I’m okay.” Deep breath. “Make me feel good, Love.”

He couldn’t have anticipated the deep groan, one that sounded almost painful; nor does he expect to be flipped around and bent over the bed with the soft thud of Kakashi’s knees hitting the floor behind him. Strong hands tug at his towel and then he’s naked, ass-out in front of his partner, and that same painful groan comes from behind him.

Kakashi presses one hand on the small of his back, and with the other starts petting the globe of his ass. “One tap means yes,” Kakashi mutters.

Oh.

He can feel his breath on—

Ohhh…

“T-two for no. Please, Kakashi.”

“Tell me to stop.”

“Wh-what?”

“Say the word, show me you can say it if you need to, please,” Kakashi says quickly.

Iruka buries his face in his arms, groaning. He whispers the word, “Stop,” and waits for Kakashi’s next insane request.

“Thank the gods. Can I. Please. Oh. Now, now, I want—”

“Kakashi, stop talking a—Ahhh!!!”

The first touch of Kakashi’s soft, wet tongue to his hole collapses Iruka fully onto the bed. He spreads his legs slightly and arches his back. Kakashi’s hand slips to the other side of his ass, groping and petting down to his thigh and back up again. Iruka writhes, his cock trapped between his stomach and the sheets and the friction is nice but Kakashi licking him in broad, slow strokes is maddening. He pants into the cradle of his arms as Kakashi begins delicately thumbing at his hole in opposition with his tongue—lick, press, lick, press—and then the very tip of his tongue slides into him and the sound that escapes Iruka is unhinged.

“More. More, please!”

Kakashi takes his hips in hand and noses his way in-between Iruka’s cheeks, mouthing and slurping away. His chin is already on its way to being soaked with spit, but then so is Iruka’s ass and, well, if he didn’t like it he’d say so.

His breath is coming fast, his pulse beating faster. He can feel it throbbing in his neck, the need for air, to slow down and relax, but oh Iruka’s making such wonderful noises and grinding back against his face. It’s glorious. What’s better is when he writhes away from Kakashi—he can infer from that motion alone that Iruka’s hard and likely aching.

Not unlike himself. But this isn’t about him.

This is about Iruka.

This is about Kakashi getting to suffocate himself in the Best Ass In Konoha, and yeah, he’s getting lightheaded from being down for so long but he’s messily kissing Iruka’s hole and slowly easing his way to getting his tongue inside and who gives a fuck about silly things like breathing when he has ass to eat?

“Oh gods, oh fuck, yes—Ahh—so g-good, Kakashi—!”

His eye rolls back, fuck, Iruka doesn’t get vocal in bed. Ever. But this—if this is what gets him going, Kakashi will eat him out every fucking day for the rest of their lives. He’s even using that damn trigger word; stuttering on it but still.

He deserves a reward.

Kakashi spreads Iruka’s ass, takes just a half second to catch his breath, and then dives back in. This time, he’s merciless with his tongue, licking fast and not caring how loud they’re getting. They have a house now; who cares about noise complaints. And when Iruka’s writhing shifts his legs just that little bit wider, Kakashi hums against his hole and shoves his tongue into Iruka as far as he can.

“Kakashi!”

He thumbs at his rim with both hands, stretching his hole while he licks him inside. So good, so good, Iruka, fucking perfect—

“I—I need. Kakashi. Please. Just. A minute. Please.”

He pulls back, frowning. “I’m sorry. Too much?”

Iruka’s panting like he just sprinted from fucking Suna. “No. Gods, no. It’s. You’re doing. It’s amazing. I just,” he chuckles, a hint of self-deprecation in the tone. “M-my knees are gonna give out, if you keep that up.”

Kakashi gently pushes on his thighs. “Then get on the bed. Chest down, ass up. Believe me, I don’t want to be done with you yet.”

Iruka’s face is flushed, down his neck and up to his ears. It’s such a sweet image. But he climbs up anyway, hugging a pillow to his chest and arching his back—

If Iruka can say his trigger word during sex. Kakashi… he can do it too.

He palms Iruka’s ass, shiny with spit and rim puffy pink where he’s been laving attention. The sensual curve of his back, his hair tossed over one shoulder so Kakashi can see the side of his face and neck, the sturdy muscular thighs supporting each perfectly perk check; Iruka’s still moaning, whimpering, waiting for him to continue.

“Fuck, you’re beautiful,” Kakashi says reverently, and dips his head once again.

This time, he lets his hands explore—he smooths up Iruka’s sides, skipping over each rib; he lightly taps at Iruka’s chest enough that he picks himself up to his elbows, the perfect amount of room for Kakashi to slip his fingers underneath him to tweak and pinch at his nipples; one hand stays, the other comes back down Iruka’s spine, lovingly touching each vertebrae and hovering protectively over the fūma shuriken scar for a moment before moving on. He slips his thumb back beside his tongue, holding Iruka open so he can better love on his hole.

All the while, Iruka’s hips are grinding against his face, rocking back onto Kakashi’s tongue, and he’s blessed to have such a responsive partner but the movement makes eating his ass so, so hard.

So with both hands he grabs Iruka’s hips and holds him tight and murmurs into his hole, “Stay still, so I can pleasure you.”

And Iruka.

Iruka whines.

“Please,” he whispers. “Please keep talking.”

Kakashi, given the requests both to feast on the Best Ass In Konoha and to run his mouth during sex, obliges the best he can.

“Love you, love your ass, oh gods,” he stops to lick broad strokes again, panting and aching. “Want. Wanted to. Oh, Iruka. Wanted to make you feel good since the first time we—” He hums deep in his throat, mouth sealed against Iruka’s hole and tongue flicking. “First. Time we fell into bed together. And now.” Lick, press, lick, press, lick, press; his thumb slides in easily to the first knuckle and it’s warm and wet and Iruka.

“Kakashi I’m. I’m. Oh, keep going. Please. Keep talking.”

“Now you’re letting me. Fuck.” His tongue rejoins his thumb. He pants against Iruka’s hole, watching it clench and pucker and—“Gods, Iruka, I get to touch you; you have no idea how lucky I am.”

“I—more. Little more. Please. Just. Oh-oh-ohh.”

Kakashi blows cool air over Iruka’s ass, and then seals his mouth and tongues Iruka relentlessly. The noises coming from the pillows are unholy and filthy and just drives Kakashi to tongue him harder.

“Kakashi!!!”

He feels Iruka tighten, a vice on his tongue, and he holds Iruka still though his hips want so clearly to thrust and grind down into the sheets. He hears soft splashes outside of his headspace, and Iruka’s cries of Ohh and K’shi and fuck yes. Kakashi keeps flicking his tongue and mouthing at Iruka’s hole until he hears a deep, blissful sigh, and then he pulls back and rests his forehead on the swell of Iruka’s ass.

“You.”

“Uh-huh.”

“I made you—?”

“Yes.”

“Please,” he says, instantly grabbing his long-neglected cock and pumping fast and hard. “Please, I. I wanna come on you. I did good, right? Please. Let me. Oh gods. Iruka. Want to—fuck. Please-please-please—”

“Yeah?” Iruka asks, and he drawls, almost sleepily, but he’s looking back over his shoulder and smiling and he arches his back ever so slightly. “You wanna come on my ass, My Love?”

“Please.”

“Get me even wetter? I’ll need another shower after you’re done covering my ass with your come.”

“Iruka, please!”

“I love you, my Kakashi.”

He can’t. He can’t hold back anymore. With one trembling hand he spreads Iruka’s cheeks again and with the other he jerks himself furiously. A split-second decision has him opening his sharingan to watch as he comes in harsh spurts right on Iruka’s pretty pink hole.

Best ass in Konoha? Painted with his come? He could die a happy man just from this image. Even if Iruka won’t sit on his face. And with the sharingan, the image will always be with him.

He collapses next to Iruka, closes both eyes, and pulls his lover to his chest. They’ll need to get cleaned up. They’ll need to change the sheets.

Right now, Iruka tucks himself against Kakashi, their foreheads together; Iruka looks like he desperately wants to kiss him, but remembers where his mouth had been at the last second. He kisses Kakashi’s cheek and jaw instead. They both laugh.

“I love you,” Kakashi says.

Iruka’s laugh turns into a giggle. “And my ass?”

“I would love you even if you didn’t have such a fantastic ass,” Kakashi hums. “Thankfully, however, that is not our reality.”

“That was…”

“Yeah?”

Iruka sighs happily. “Wow.”

Kakashi kisses his forehead. “Blissed you out, huh?”

“Shhh,” Iruka clutches him closer. “Afterglow.”

Kakashi holds him tighter and catches his breath.

#whumpmasinjuly #Hope #umino iruka #hatake kakashi #kakairu #my writing #writeblr

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ddtriohub · 7 years

Note

☠: Something you dislike about your fandom && ☄: A doubt you have about your writing

Taken from meme: [x] ||Accepting|| ((Guess who was almost done with this answer to have accidentally clicked on the wrong thing and I had to write it all over again? Just shoot me))

☠: Something you dislike about your fandom

LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL WHAT FANDOM? IS IT ALIVE? DOES IT HAVE A PULSE? DOES IT EVEN EXIST? lol but seriously. The fandom is small. I don’t even know if there is even one still around right now. That’s how small it is. If I dislike something it would be that. If not that, then perhaps the fact that people can get uppity about Shugarl’s hair color because of cover art. LOOK, then tell me which you like purple, or green-blue? Two different cover appearances (one being an inside cover flap) show different colors. Both only showed once. Which is the true canon? The first appearance or the next one? Hm? How about, I will happily with the good majority of the fandom accept and believe the third red-brown hair color because his screen tone is the same as another character who has red hair. Yep. That’s my story and i’m sticking with it.

((BOOOYYYY GET READY FOR A RIDE. This got long so I need to use a readmore. Read on if you wanna. I added random fun trivia.))

☄: A doubt you have about your writing

LOLOLOLOL did you mean everything about it? Okay but seriously, if I were asked if I like my writing style, my answer would be no. I don't like it. There's just a lot to it that I just don't like. For one thing, i'm very repetitive, especially with my words/wording choices. It makes things more monotonous. It's quite frankly boring. It also doesn't flow well. It makes things feel a lot more... I dunno, constrained? Like you can't branch out more. Expand the horizons so to speak. I really don't like how inflexible my writing style seems to be.

I really need to learn more vocabulary and the like. That would certainly help my case out some. Now for the thing I really dislike about my writing style: details and descriptions. What are those? Do they exist? I really struggle with details and writing out descriptions. I'm so bad at them. I often forget about em. It makes it harder for the reader to tell what's goin on. You can't really immerse yourself in the world when you can't really envision things. It makes my writing harder to really get engrossed with. It can make the reader lost. Then on top of it, a lot of my style is pretty repetitive? That gets boring really quick.

Honestly this is one reason why I think a lot of people just eventually get tired of my writing. Maybe they just got tired of Haru, there is also that. //shrugs (I shrug but really i'm crying inside it's okay) Anyways that's besides the point. I just don't like my style. It's just-- I don't like it. I've been struggling with it for years and it's gotten much better but it's still just-- really bad? I always tell myself to work on vocabulary and I still fail at it. LOLOLOLOLOL as for descriptions and stuf... I try to remember it. I do. I just fail. OTL I just am so bad at it. I just don't know how to write out descriptions as I often don't think much about their surroundings.

With my muses, I tend to focus more on their mental state and their emotions. I don't really think about how they're moving or what they may be looking at or smelling. Which is why this element is often missing in my writing style. There is a lack of sensory elements-- and I hate that about my style. It makes it more bland.

Now, does that mean I hate my writing? No. I actually quite like my writing. I throw in a bit of my own humor into my writing. I sometimes slip a bit of my personanlity with my sassy lil remarks. Like when I say things like 'Excuse as Vasco is confused and will need you to spell things out for him.' 'Oh joy, he speaks!,' etc. I personally enjoy my humor so I often read a lot of my things and laugh at my own humor. Yeah, i'm one of those people. I laugh at my own jokes. lol sue me.

Now, I throw in a bit of what I do in my writing to make things a bit personal but with rp'ing, I also really like to put the personality of my character into my writing. I like to throw in some nuances characteristic of my muses. (if anyone starts staring at my Haru blog, in my defense Haru is a standalone and she's my chill blog and I like being more versatile as it's an indie so it's better to be flexible. In a group I can afford to be more uniform and stagnant with my ways. That's my story and i'm sticking with it)

ANYWAYSSSSS!!! The way I throw in my humor into threads with my muses depend on the muse. Mizumachi has more absurd humor, Ponsol and Shugarl are more ... well... rude lol. Vasco is just humor based off his naivette and the like. Just lil stuff here and there. I don't wanna go into details on that.

Now, how do I put the personality of my character in my writing? Well for one thing, if anyone has noticed, the way I write out monologues and tell 'the story' is different for each muse. I try to avoid big and complex words for Mizumachi and Vasco because they probably won't even know what it means. So in their monologues and the like I try to stick with more simpler words. However with the Geripeta's I try to use more complex vocabulary if I can (with my limited word pool lol). Dongmin I feel like he's at least average so I kind do whatever with him. I try to be careful with the words that I use on all my muses.

This is also why you see me using a lot of dynamic words with Mizumachi because he's very dynammic and he's always just screaming lol. Ponsol is super sassy and rude so a lot of his monologues and thoughts are rude. Vasco like never swears so I NEVER swear in his threads. EVER. The Geripeta's don't give a flying shit, so they cuss if they want to. Shugarl tries not to though. Ponsol only does so inwardly in his thoughts because he's a hella bitter person. XD

Now let's talk about FORMATTING. Yes, I put thought into those as well:

Vasco is a boy who abides by the rules. He will not break the rules (aside from the tattoos but that was for a very good reason). As such, for his dialogue, the first line is always indented 7 spaces while the subsequent ones are 8-9 (sometimes an extra space is needed to line things up properly). ALWAYS. I will not break that rule. No matter what. It doesn't matter how short or long the thread is, i'll keep the space rule. He's just that stubborn and a good boy who listens to rules.

Shugarl is not much of a talker. He can talk a good amount at times if he feels inclined but he's pretty much a curt talker? Like his sentences aren't too long. So to ensure that I don't go too long-winded, I use the escalator kinda format to help keep me in line. It also shows just how short his sentences are.

Ponsol likes control. He likes to be in charge of things and is well you know, a jerk. the reason why his stuff is justified is to really show how he likes control and for things to be neat and orderly. If it's justified, things look neat on both ends. It's pretty ahrd to make things even you know? With this, it shows that he likes order as much as he likes to have full control of what he is saying. Everything he says for the most part (unless his temper got in the way) is caculated. Carefully chosen for a good effect. As this is the case, what better shows careful planning than justified dialogue text?

Mizumachi is super dynamic ya know? He's very bouncy and he speaks very animatedly too. What better way to show that than to use italics, lower, and upper styles? Now the way I style his dialogue text:

text text text text text tex text text text

is because it looks like a wave. He loves swimming and the ocean. He may have quit the swim club in favor of football but he still incorporates swimming (in some weird way) into his football. It's a big part of him. He loves the water. As such, it only makes sense to me, to make his dialogue flow like a wave. It's also a great throwback to his days in Kyoshin Poseidon.

Dongmin is a guy who is responsible and full of honor, but he's also very easy going. He likes to go with the flow and he pretty much can be made to do anything-- if you are the right person. Like his female childhood friend can make him do just about anything for her. Beat up this person for you? Okay, I won't ask. I'll do it. What? Don't beat him up? Okay, whatever you say. Huh? Stay away from this guy because he's yours? Okay. I'll be careful. Of course he's still got his own mind and what not. She's just special. He's just very easy going for the most part, but he's brave and bold. He's strong and he knows it. He's very confident in himself, therefore his dialogue text is BOLD. As he's just easy going and goes with the flow, that's also one reason why I don't have his separated from the rest of the text. I add it with the rest. Still, he's got a part of him that is responsible and he does adhere to most rules so that's why I start with a 7 space lead off.

Is this rather extra of me? Perhaps. I find it a lot of fun though? It gives more character and personality to the characters. It helps me to connect to them and so it's easy for me to write them. It's also a lot harder for me to mess up and accidentally write as another character. By having special formats, i'm very heavily aware of who i'm replying as. So I won't accidentally answer a Shugarl thread as I would a Mizumachi one and vice-versa. I may still accidentally reply on the wrong blog but hey, what can you do.

I honestly love my characters very much and I really prioritize my characterization. These kinds of things just make it more personal and fun in my opinion. I just do it even though it sometimes makes me wanna cry. (LOOKING AT YOU, MIZU!!!!) Though most of all it really is just so I don't mess up and reply as a wrong character type. They're all different in their own ways so I can't mess up their personalities.

I'm just very serious about my characters because I love them so much. I would not have chosen them if I didn't love them or have a lot of confidence in being able to write them. With all the effort and time I put into them, it makes me feel a bit more involved and serious about what I do. I really love all my muses and thus i'm willing to go this far for them. It's a lot of fun for me. It helps me connect to them on an emotional level.

Everything just helps aid to the whole thing of making it seem like my characters are more alive. Sucks because I focus so much on emotion I forget about scenery and the like-- whoops. So that's really how I do things. It's fun and it's just my personality type to take things seriously. It helps me not mess things up. It helps me connect to my muses and love them more. It helps me understand them and learn more about them.

I take characterization really seriously and as you can see I take my muses very seriously. This is why I can get really upset very easily if anyone undermines this. I also take huge offense to people rushing me. Do NOT rush me. If I think you are trying to rush me into a relationship, i'll be pissed. I love character development and I personally hate being rushed. It's just my personality and how i've been raised. Always being rushed, therefore, I hate it.

NO, I haven't really seen this in the group. I'm mainly talking in terms of Haru's blog. I've seen it a lot on there and no. I can't. Now it's fine if you like taking things more fast paced. Totally okay! You do you! I just don't like it. Unfortunately i'm also just really slow paced. I'm very very slow. lol. So if you plan on shipping with me it'll be a slow process for sure. I love development. I personally don't agree with shipping so quickly. To me, there isn't enough character development and therefore it's not fun for me.

I nEEEEEEDDd development to be happy. I love to see characters grow. I love to see a relationship form. I love to ensure in thread form that chemistry is there. It's just so much fun! Working with a partner to come up with a story. It's a lot of fun and rushing it takes the fun out of it. Especially if it's for smut. Haru's blog has seen so much like dude we just met and you're already trying to get into her skirt? Let me just kill this thread real quick.

I'm rambling too much. Basically, I take things super seriously because it's a lot of fun for me and I am just a serious person in general? I want to do the best that I can do. I want to be the best that I can be. I want for others to learn more about characters and possibly love my muses--- AND THEREBY CHECK OUT THE SERIES THAT THEY ARE FROM SO THAT YOU CAN CRY ALONG WITH ME!!!!!!!!!!!!

Seriously please more people need to get into Manhwa and the like. PLEASE. PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE. RRRAAAAAAAAAAWWWRR!!!!! (Why yes all in all it's a selfish reason but shhh)

I just hope people have fun with it all. People may not notice all the work I put into things, but that's okay. I have fun with it. If I can't have fun, how can I be sure my partner will have fun? RP'ing is a partnership and if both people aren't happy the thread will not be healthy.

So if you want to thread with someone serious lol i'm your girl! I am slow though because I love development.

#RTRP meme #anonymous ask #answered ask #meme answered #thanks for the ask!#Neo speaks #Anonymous

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